Nose Hair Lint Gland


Wednesday, June 13

Let’s do a show about drugs. Have we done a drug show yet? We must have but I’ve, uh, forgotten. In any case, no one will notice. We sample some William Burroughs, put some North Korean patriotic marching music in the background, slowed down 1000% with reverb on the whole thing and we have a drug show, which is basically what we do every goddamn week. Hey, who turned on the reverb? No, not the reverb on the North Korean music, someone turned on the reverb in the real world. Yes, the real world, the big real world out there of Atoms, Eight-Ball Glasses and Elvis. I’m hungry. I am going to grill some chicken. Who wants some grilled chicken? Ok, it’s grilled chicken for me, you, the purple crocodile over there in the corner (brown meat only, got it!) Sidharta Gautama over here won’t have any cuz he’s vegetarian. Zeus wants some lamb. We don’t have any lamb. Zeus can grill his own damn lamb, he’s a deity and he beds all the hotties in Greece, it’s not unreasonable to expect Zeus to fend for himself. And so in the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND with Karen Carpenter and Dr. Fiasco (with cameo appearance by Bob-Marc the Martian Adonis) we’re going to talk about… about… what was that again? Ah yes, we’re going to talk about stuff like:

“Tracks”, The Pre-School Drug Otter with Way Too Much Street Cred

What if we hired two Detectives and told them to follow each other?

Is it really fun to stay at the YMCA? Or is it a vast conspiracy by the Bohemian Grove people to sell us gym memberships?

How about we dose all the Shawarma and Falafel in the Middle East with Ecstasy and solve the war once and for all?

How many micrograms to turn Pol Pot into Santa Claus?

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: Please pass the corn chips, the mayonnaise and the can of condensed milk.

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