Nose Hair Lint Gland


Wednesday, June 20

For hundreds of years, our top scientists have struggled to find valid classifications of groups within the human population (“mankind”, “people”, “earthlings”), i.e., the scientific sorting out of groups among humans that are so clearly distinct that they require special care and feeding.  However, there really was no reason for confusion, since the Clothing Department at Sears figured it out long ago.  All humans can be classified as a member of one of the following :

Women’s  –  Men’s  –  Young Men’s  –  Juniors  –  Girls  –  Boys  –  Baby  & Toddler

(we do note the Sears Human Nomenclatural Reference System is strongly gender-based, which accurately reflects the attention to gender within normal human intercourse, however it is the catchy ad copy and lovely, perky and thin models that are exactly how we want our species look like to our eventual alien conquerors).  Therefore, on their FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, Karen Carpenter, Bob-Marc, Dr. Fiasco and SPECIAL GUEST “FKO”(!) will use science to make controversial, inflammatory and stereotypical remarks about each of these groups, especially Baby & Toddler.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: Looking Good for Easter!

This Wednesday from 10 PM to Midnight
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