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August 14, 2013 10:00pm
Low power. Running on fumes. 100,000 milliwatts or less. Almost out of gas. Living on borrowed time. Sleepy.

The Council of Elders at Radio Valencia have decreed that we must go low. That's like trying to be the tallest dwarf (among a dwarrow of dwarves). Getting last place in a warthog beauty contest. Being the soberest Mormon. Going for the brass. Yup, everything is coming up milkweed.

On tonight's FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, Karen Carpenter, Bob-Marc, and Sherilyn Connelly, the laziest pirates in unlicensed community radio, will explore what it means for the power to be low. Or they may not. They're kinda tired, it's always dark in the studio, and the battery in Karen's laptop keeps dying.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: The first step to failure is trying.

Chatroom History
August 14, 2013 10:00pm - 5:30am

Edwin A. Armstrong: Hey, you guys owe me roaylties for using my low-power FM patents. (10:01pm)
elseano: TheIntelligence (10:02pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: Wait, I got my middle initial wrong. (10:02pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: RF stands for "rat fink." (10:02pm)
elseano: Is this Peter Graves doing the voiceover? (10:03pm)
elseano: And ... dead air (10:03pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: (10:03pm)
elseano: And ... we're back (10:03pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: Flange . . . everybody drink! (10:06pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: Genital warts gave Farrah Fawcett ass cancer. And I hold the patent on them, too. (10:07pm)
elseano: Wow! Way, way over the line in the first 7 minutes. (10:07pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: KrOB! (10:08pm)
elseano: Fried Balls and Genital Warts (10:08pm)
elseano: A full dinner! (10:08pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: Is it vaporizer time yet? (10:08pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: New tote! (10:09pm)
elseano: The love network ... now with cheesy balls and genital warts... (10:09pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: I own the patent on The Love Network. (10:10pm)
elseano: Stop harrasing the rapido (10:10pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: That is EXACTLY what it should be. Legitimacy is a waste of time. (10:11pm)
elseano: The router smelled bad. It's on the way out. (10:11pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: Check it for warts. Causes bad packets. (10:12pm)
elseano: Sweaty hippies doing Bikram? Naaaah, there's no way that smells. (10:12pm)
elseano: It's pre-game (10:13pm)
vj pussycat: it's ok you still have 16 minutes to figure it out (10:14pm)
elseano: It's parkay ... (10:14pm)
elseano: KrOB! (10:16pm)
elseano: #gainon (10:16pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: Don't touch that gain without paying my royalties! (10:16pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: Sweet Jerry in front of a Hitler picture, though. (10:19pm)
elseano: I think you guys have become better than negativeland (10:23pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: Get ready to drink. . . (10:24pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: Radio is dead. (10:27pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: During the 1970s, FM radio experienced a golden age of integrity programming, with disc jockeys playing what they wanted, including album cuts not designated as "singles" and lengthy progressive rock tracks. (10:28pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: Maybe you could get one of these cheap: (10:31pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: (10:31pm)
vj pussycat: thanks karen! and happy birthday to you too! (10:33pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: Time to check the plate voltage. (10:35pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: That's not a carraway seed stuck in the board. . . . (10:38pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: Indeed! That bastard General Sarnoff! (10:40pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: And that's why I kissed my wife, petted my dog and walked out a 13th floor window. (10:40pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: (10:43pm)
Sherilyn: Jean Shepherd on WFMU's Aircheck: (10:43pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: In 1917 Armstrong was the first recipient of the IRE's, now IEEE Medal of Honor.[ (10:45pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: the regenerative circuit, which Armstrong patented in 1914 as a "wireless receiving system," was subsequently patented by Lee De Forest in 1916; (10:48pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: Ask listeners to respond on a five-point Likert scale to the following: (10:52pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: 1. Genital wart PSAs (10:52pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: 2. Half-hour live technical adjustments every three hours (10:53pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: 3. DJs getting loaded on the air (10:53pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: In "Hardly Working," Jerry plays a mailman who wears a $30,000 watch and a pinky ring. (10:59pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: (11:01pm)
Sherilyn: He kinda does that in EVERY one of his movies. (11:02pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: Touche (11:02pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: The late Billy Barty was in Hardly Working! But apparently, he was a singular dwarf. (11:04pm)
Sherilyn: Scatman Crothers was in a lot of Jerry's latter-sixties movies. (11:05pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: 4. Fuck and Shit (11:10pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: Well, I have to go 10-7, good buddies. Keep the shiny side up and the greasy side down. (11:15pm)
Karen Carpenter: hurry back, we are having donuts! (11:17pm)
Orinz: Someone get KRoB a beer. (11:21pm)
sparklesparkle: did I hear someone's giving away a washer and dryer?!? (11:31pm)
Perfect_Timing: A NEW CAR!!!! (11:36pm)
Perfect_Timing: The computer.. It is the only thing speaking... 10 9 8 7... (11:37pm)
Perfect_Timing: GET OUT OF THERE!!!! (11:37pm)
Perfect_Timing: Did I just hear a Cylon? (11:38pm)
vj pussycat: i'm going (12:17am)
vj pussycat: where the booper sounds like the hiccups (12:47am)
vj pussycat: happy birthday burning man (12:48am)
vj pussycat: that was the best burn (12:49am)
vj pussycat: actually they're like a small sponge they just add water (12:50am)
vj pussycat: that was the best (12:51am)
vj pussycat: my first year was the last year it was 12 miles out (12:52am)
vj pussycat: that was my first year (12:55am)
Dr. Penny: Blunted, broken, bleeding, low power tower. (1:00am)
vj pussycat: nose hair sherilyngland (1:00am)
vj pussycat: will somebody swat that fly! (1:02am)
vj pussycat: hahaha (1:07am)
vj pussycat: what about john stamos (1:08am)
vj pussycat: love those remixes (1:09am)

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