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A Very Special Karen Carpenter Christmas
December 25, 2013 10:00pm
'Twas the night before Kwanzaa, and all through the neighborhood was heard kids who had a lot of sugar, dozens of plastic toys from Shanghai, and far too many confusing and contradictory falsehoods about the season narrated to them in oh-so earnest tones by adults teetering on bankruptcy, moral uncertainty and drunkenness. Could there ever be a better time for tonight's Very Special FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND? "Very Special?", you say to yourself wiping crumbs and spilled eggnog off your chin, looking across the mountain of needless packaging to recycle and credit card debt to default on... "VERY SPECIAL?!?... HOW FUCKING SPECIAL IS IT, YOU DAMN RADIO SHOW, 'CAUSE ALL I GOT BESIDES THIS UGLY SWEATER IS A GOUTER, REFLUX AND THUMB SLICED ON A $150 CHEESE GRATER FROM WILLIAMS AND SONOMA WITHOUT A RETURN RECEIPT!!!?!"

Very special. Featuring that never seen in the same place before couple Karen Carpenter and Z.... and special guest stars.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: The War on Christmas you've been hearing so much about? Here.

Chatroom History
December 25, 2013 10:00pm - 4:30am

Sherilyn: I've just about had my fill of Santa on the moon. (10:00pm)
Alan B.: Sounds good on the stream! (10:04pm)
Sherilyn: Hey, I'm not there! (10:05pm)
Sherilyn: HI SARAH!!!!!!!!!!!! (10:05pm)
Alan B.: Hey, Sherily, get the hell out of the chatbox. You're classing the place up too much. (10:06pm)
Sherilyn: Wow. It's like I'm not not there. (10:06pm)
Sherilyn: Everybody call Juan! (10:09pm)
Sherilyn: ALAN CALL JUAN RIGHT NOW. (10:09pm)
Alan B.: Tell that louch lizard to stop fucking up karen's show. (10:09pm)
Alan B.: I'm a-scared to now that I wrote that. (10:10pm)
Alan B.: Merry Christmas, Juan! (10:10pm)
Sherilyn: The Parkland writeup in this article is my Xmas present to Karen: (10:11pm)
Alan B.: Christmas is for kids. If my kids are happy, I'm happy. (10:11pm)
Alan B.: Dr. Hal in uniform! (10:13pm)
Sherilyn: Enh, Military SCIENCE. That doesn't count! (10:13pm)
Alan B.: Yeah, everybody knows SCIENCE is bad! (10:14pm)
Sherilyn: Mrs. Connelly's my mom! (10:15pm)
Sherilyn: Also, Ross Bagdasarian is from Fresno, where I for some reason currently am. (10:15pm)
Sherilyn: I saw Malcolm Tucker as the new Doctor tonight! (10:16pm)
Alan B.: My buddy at work gave me a copy of his collection of every extant Doctor Who episode. It's sitting on a 1Tb SDD in my desk. I'll be happy to make a copy for anyone who ships me a 1Tb SSD. (10:18pm)
Alan B.: First Doctor: (10:18pm)
Sherilyn: Best Doctor: (10:19pm)
Alan B.: I can't wait to see him at it. (10:19pm)
Alan B.: My daughter didn't like skinny Matt Smith nor Moffat's messed up plotting, so she doesn't care to see The Time of the Doctor. (10:22pm)
Sherilyn: Kids these days! (10:23pm)
Sherilyn: We've done Santa's Slay at Bad Movie Night a few times. (10:23pm)
Alan B.: But we enjoyed Day of the Doctor, so maybe I can get her to get into the next doctor. We also don't have BBC on our poverty cable. (10:23pm)
Sherilyn: Have you seen Gravity yet, Pete? (10:25pm)
Sherilyn: Santa's Slay does have more curling than you typically find in either a horror movie OR a Christmas movie, though. (10:25pm)
Alan B.: Iron curling or stone curling? (10:26pm)
Sherilyn: Whatever kind of curling this is: (10:27pm)
Sherilyn: WRONG ANSWER! (10:27pm)
Sherilyn: Smaaaaaaaaaaaaug. (10:28pm)
Alan B.: That prettyboy Cumberbatch is in that one, aurally. (10:28pm)
Sherilyn: Yeah, but it could be anyone. It might as well be Peter Jackson doing the voice. (10:28pm)
Sherilyn: Karen, you missed out SO MUCH on Lone Survivor. Best comedy of 2014 so far. (10:29pm)
Alan B.: Cumberbatch is the dreamboat around here. We're back around to the younguns being all excited by bloodless, underfed Britons. (10:29pm)
Alan B.: Hal, fuck everyone in the chatbox. (10:30pm)
Alan B.: Except for Sherilyn. (10:30pm)
Sherilyn: We're both Puzzling Evidence! (10:30pm)
Alan B.: I've been Puzzling Evidence for years! (10:31pm)
Alan B.: They can not mention it for a million years, Uncle Charlie is going to laugh in Radio Valencia's face when they submit their application for LPFM. They should save the engineering survey money. (10:32pm)
Alan B.: This show is going well, BTW. (10:33pm)
BobMarc: Hey guys...checking in from my sisters house in Three Rivers CA. (10:33pm)
Alan B.: Hello, BobMarc! Merry Xistliestlessmess. (10:33pm)
Sherilyn: Wait, which three rivers??? (10:33pm)
BobMarc: Glad you Dr Hal to flesh out the banter (10:34pm)
BobMarc: The one near Visalia (10:34pm)
Sherilyn: Alan B / Sarah / Marc, when you scroll down to the bottom of this page, is it like ALL spamdexing? (10:35pm)
Alan B.: I don't know what you mesothelioma mean? (10:36pm)
BobMarc: What's Spamdexing? (10:36pm)
Alan B.: (10:37pm)
Alan B.: Sex with elves positive. (10:37pm)
Sherilyn: I'm going to tell on you for being sex-negative! or something. (10:37pm)
BobMarc: I wonder if there are furries into Santa's raindeer (10:39pm)
Alan B.: No, they keep making me pay: (10:39pm)
RevQueefLatino: Frankenstien Gangster Santa Computer God in my Nigger Town house (10:40pm)
vj pussycat: santa's reindeer ARE furries (10:40pm)
Sherilyn: Moar Haunted! (10:41pm)
BobMarc: no they're reindeer (10:42pm)
Alan B.: That feel when you close the RV window with the stream. (10:42pm)
BobMarc: a person drressed up like Blixen is a furry (10:43pm)
Alan B.: NSFW: (10:44pm)
RevQueefLatino: Hipsters (10:44pm)
RevQueefLatino: Flipsters (10:44pm)
RevQueefLatino: Finger Poppin Daddys - Lend me yer Lobes (10:44pm)
Alan B.: (10:44pm)
vj pussycat: reindeer dressed as furries (10:44pm)
Alan B.: ^^ Crazy Eddie (10:44pm)
RevQueefLatino: at least you guys dont talk with food in your mouth like roper (10:45pm)
Sherilyn: BEAT THE HEAT! (10:45pm)
Alan B.: ^^ This link is earlier and therefore more authentic. (10:46pm)
RevQueefLatino: i take that back (10:46pm)
Sherilyn: Nothing is more authentic than Crazy Eddie yelling "Beat the heeeeeeeeeeat!" into the camera. (10:47pm)
Alan B.: (10:47pm)
Alan B.: Clarel: A Poem and Pilgrimage in the Holy Land (1876) (10:48pm)
BobMarc: Yes Alan those are Furry type reindeer. (10:49pm)
IlikeChiChis: is Krob gonna be there tonight? (10:49pm)
vj pussycat: that was not furry enough (10:51pm)
Sherilyn: Mmm. pie. (10:52pm)
IlikeChiChis: a treat to have hal (10:52pm)
Alan B.: Eight minutes to KrOB's Station ID, now with no frequency mention (10:52pm)
IlikeChiChis: lol (10:53pm)
Alan B.: I still wanna replace the lava lamp, but I demand a brass plaque. (10:53pm)
Sherilyn: ...hey, that's me! (10:54pm)
Alan B.: Okay, the magic search terms were "gfur reindeer." hannel=fflb&tbm=isch&source=iu&imgil =oKNyL9jW2ivRcM%253A%253Bhttps%253A% 252Fimages%253Fq%253Dtbn%253AANd9GcQ GIWhOOR1J7tnjYPew-jIJ0km4MR7vwjT2PWL _Cn58nfB31Mc1KA%253B380%253B261%253B R3c8bZ7DsGZUvM%253Bhttp%25253A%25252 lsboro%25252Findex.ssf%25252F2012%25 252F11%25252Fnuncrackers_musical_pok es_good.html&sa=X&ei=cNG7UtLwH-mqyQG SwIGoAQ&ved=0CC8Q9QEwAQ&biw=1280&bih =635#channel=fflb&q=gfur+reindeer&rl s=org.mozilla:en-US:official&tbm=isc h&facrc=_&imgdii=_&imgrc=3iD5EUzIo3L JiM%3A%3B4gKEgC8zgyPLkM%3Bhttp%253A% 2%252Fi%252F2008%252F232%252Fc%252F5 g%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.deviantar 253Fview_mode%253D2%3B600%3B1087 (10:54pm)
Alan B.: Dammit! (10:55pm)
IlikeChiChis: you in fresno Sheri? (10:55pm)
Sherilyn: I. Am. (10:55pm)
IlikeChiChis: ahh- good deal (10:56pm)
IlikeChiChis: i love that louis therox documentry on fresno (10:56pm)
IlikeChiChis: "The city Addicted to Crystal Meth" - ahh I miss home (10:57pm)
Alan B.: Old fashion Christmas decorating in Fresno's Tower District (10:57pm)
IlikeChiChis: hope you all are having a gay day (10:57pm)
IlikeChiChis: My hometown is the Nations Christmas Tree city - see if you can guess without cheating (10:58pm)
Sherilyn: Hrm. Never seen that doc. (10:58pm)
IlikeChiChis: any documentry with that guy is fucking awesome (10:58pm)
Sherilyn: Well, America's tallest living Christmas tree is on Huntington Blvd in Fresno... (10:58pm)
IlikeChiChis: he did two films about the infamous phelp family - he stays with the people he fatures (11:00pm)
IlikeChiChis: *features (11:00pm)
IlikeChiChis: ballsy and hillarious (11:00pm)
Alan B.: That guy completely screws up Hal's chatbox. He needs an IP ban. (11:01pm)
IlikeChiChis: Sanger - I guess the nations christmas tree is The General Grant (11:01pm)
IlikeChiChis: who? (11:02pm)
Alan B.: Anecdote is not the singular of data. (11:02pm)
Sherilyn: Let's dig up Frank Capra to see if he can figure out why we fight. (11:02pm)
Alan B.: Spy Radio in World War II: "Strategic Service Transmitter-Receiver (11:03pm)
Sherilyn: That was also an ST:TNG episode called "Future Imperfect." (11:04pm)
IlikeChiChis: original bluetooth (11:04pm)
IlikeChiChis: i just got done watching ST. TNG the episode where data creates his own daughter (11:05pm)
IlikeChiChis: i need a good place to stream ST free with out all the ads (11:05pm)
IlikeChiChis: watched First Contact tonight- fuckin great, im a ST newb (11:06pm)
Alan B.: I was surprised that Dr. Hal forgot that it was Normandie. (11:07pm)
Sherilyn: It's the best of the TNG movies, to be sure. (11:07pm)
Alan B.: Sword Juno Gold Omaha Utah (11:08pm)
Alan B.: KrOB's station ID was awesome. (11:08pm)
Boob: they dont have great set design like that anymore- all fuckin green screen (11:09pm)
Boob: glad you guys are doin a show tonight- great way to top of the holiday (11:10pm)
Boob: *off (11:10pm)
Alan B.: It could only be improved by Sherilyn and BobMarc's presence. (11:11pm)
vj pussycat: whatever happened to kristy mcnichol? (11:12pm)
Sherilyn: All the more reason for me to go to bed now! (11:12pm)
Boob: i dont miss Bobs constant snaking- Sherilyn rules though - i dont miss fiasco at all (11:12pm)
Alan B.: Whatever happened to Faye Wray? (11:15pm)
Sherilyn: Yep, crickets! Time to hit the sack. G'night, folks. Merry fuckin' Christmas. (11:16pm)
Alan B.: G'nite! (11:16pm)
Alan B.: Proximity effect: (11:18pm)
vj pussycat: don't dream it, be it (11:18pm)
Alan B.: Yes, Hal, back up off the mic. Your bass voice is overwhelming the pickup. (11:19pm)
Alan B.: (11:22pm)
Alan B.: We are pleased to hear of this addition to the show. (11:23pm)
vj pussycat: links not workin (11:24pm)
Alan B.: Poo! (11:25pm)
Alan B.: Uh, oh. (11:26pm)
vj pussycat: workin now (11:26pm)
Boob: nothing wrong with using the word nigger (11:27pm)
Alan B.: (11:29pm)
Alan B.: Yes, Karen Carpenter is correct. (11:29pm)
Boob: political correctness is more evil than racism esp 2.0 (11:30pm)
Alan B.: No, it isn't. Hooray, fighting in the chatroom! (11:30pm)
Alan B.: Rolls CL151 Microphone Preamp Compressor and Gate $89.00 (11:31pm)
Boob: honkey isnt a bad word (11:31pm)
Alan B.: Honky is offensive, but nigger is a word which reinforces white supremacy, which is evil. Perhaps the defining evil of our culture and empire. (11:32pm)
Boob: people need to get over the slavery guilt- we are all equally different and should laugh about and celebrate our differences with jokes and buzzwords (11:33pm)
Boob: it reinforces guilt over slavery (11:33pm)
Alan B.: It is not slavery guilt. It is acknowledgement that beyond and after slavery, US society is structured to enforce white supremacy. (11:33pm)
Boob: if it were a real insult they wouldnt call each other nigger (11:34pm)
Alan B.: Oy, vey. (11:34pm)
Alan B.: I am now disengaging from this discussion about "they.": (11:34pm)
Boob: no such thing as a white person (11:34pm)
Boob: mostly pinkish (11:34pm)
Alan B.: Because I'm missing Justin Credible who is always a joy and a delight. (11:35pm)
Boob: people who get offended offend me - political correctness is the real no no (11:36pm)
Alan B.: BBE Compressor/Limiter/Gate with Built-In BBE Sonic Maximizer $199.99 (11:37pm)
Alan B.: (11:38pm)
Alan B.: Krampus is a hipster. (11:38pm)
Alan B.: Recursive show is recursive. (11:40pm)
Alan B.: Have they found the vape? (11:41pm)
XMas Intro: Vape these (11:44pm)
How's The PE: Yes phone (11:45pm)
Boob: KrOb Kringle (11:46pm)
Tonerr The Tiger: Ts great coywright (11:46pm)
Boob: holy shit that phone quality is horrible (11:47pm)
Death Star Crew: We're wanna go to sleep (11:48pm)
Death Star Crew: , m (11:49pm)
Death Star Crew: mmmmmm'church\ (11:49pm)
Death Star Crew: MMMMMMMchurch audiences only (11:49pm)
Death Star Crew: Red shirts in the Sunset (11:49pm)
Sputtering Halogence: LSMFT (11:51pm)
Sputtering Halogence: More Me Show bladder, loded and locked. (11:51pm)
Cramp Us: Is Dr. Fiasco in the house tonight? (11:52pm)
No: ayBab (11:52pm)
No: ay, aby (11:52pm)
Cramp Us: Champ-on-ya (11:53pm)
No: waybaby. (11:53pm)
Alan B.: That was fun. I'm amazed that Karen would distract himself with calls. Cutting edge experimental radio. (11:53pm)
Alan B.: Mom said I should have been a babortion. (11:53pm)
Prezustamente: And, we concur, jimmy. (11:55pm)
John Banjo B: Help, I'm trapped in a mental institution (11:58pm)
Alan B.: (12:01am)
Alan B.: ^^ Capt. Billy's Whiz Bang (12:01am)
B. Cumberpatch: And, and I'm a dragon. (12:01am)
Alan B.: Sherilyn bagged out during insect talk. (12:02am)
Alan B.: KrOB will brook no chatboxing. (12:02am)
Alan B.: Nose Hair Lint Gland Extra Innings, brought to you by Dr. Hal's all-new Larger Hadrons. (12:04am)
vj pussycat: give me a bucket (12:05am)
Alan B.: Mr. Creosote (12:06am)
Alan B.: Radio Dumbassess burn up parkinglot with deepfried turkey (12:09am)
B. Cumberpatch: I'm still ad r gon. (12:10am)
B. Cumberpatch: and Hitlers skull (12:10am)
B. Cumberpatch: andF (12:11am)
B. Cumberpatch: nd (12:11am)
B. Cumberpatch: and F (12:11am)
B. Cumberpatch: and JFKs (12:12am)
Alan B.: Have you seen his brain? It's famously absent. (12:13am)
Grampus: It (12:14am)
Grampus: it's my time now (12:14am)
Alan B.: KrOB is hurting me with that Sgt. P. (12:14am)
Alan B.: I blame Faul for this catastrophe. (12:15am)
Alan B.: Ow. (12:17am)
Alan B.: Karen is mean man. (12:17am)
Alan B.: My apologies to KrOB . . . this time. (12:17am)
vj pussycat: play with your organ (12:18am)
Alan B.: Karen is raising a Unitarian. Will he take her to X-Day? (12:22am)
Alan B.: This program is evidence that: (12:27am)
Alan B.: You are on chat. (12:28am)
Alan B.: On air. I am on chat. (12:28am)
Grampus: q am the oone. (12:28am)
Alan B.: Lurkers, announce yourselves. (12:29am)
Motrin Junkies: We opened for Janor (12:29am)
Alan B.: When KrOB boots, aim for the Radio Valencia equipment. (12:29am)
The: Pudding Wars killed many desert eaters (12:32am)
The: Pudding Poppins family took care of many of the children (12:32am)
Physical Suffsion Institute: We Built That Bed (12:37am)
Physical Suffsion Institute: We built that bed (12:37am)
Alan B.: The largest Hadrons ever. (12:37am)
Alan B.: I'm riding this out to the bitter end in EST, so if you wish to completely screw up my Thursday, keep going. (12:38am)
vj pussycat: welcome to my world (12:38am)
Alan B.: I haven't been nice and said hello, vj! Merry Holidays! (12:39am)
vj pussycat: thx alan b me neither so back at you (12:40am)
Alan B.: Nicest chatbox ever. (12:40am)
vj pussycat: charming (12:40am)
Alan B.: Uh, Clem. (12:45am)
Alan B.: Slack (12:54am)
Alan B.: A Very Venture Christmas (12:55am)
Alan B.: She's accidently poisoning children? (12:57am)
BoBO: mr benard! (1:01am)
Alan B.: Hello! (1:02am)
Alan B.: Egads, I'm unveiled. (1:02am)
BoBO: get your Jesus Toast here: (1:10am)
Alan B.: Once again, no chalice toast. (1:10am)
Alan B.: I just love Jerusalem, the poem. The Britons are nuts. (1:11am)
Alan B.: Yes, engineers are not loquatious. (1:11am)
Alan B.: Damn, Karen's taking it in the teeth. (1:12am)
Alan B.: Dr. Hal, Esq. (1:17am)
Alan B.: Half of a Karen Carpenter. . . a substantial sum. (1:18am)
Alan B.: Only one of 'em is dead. (1:18am)
vj pussycat: gratefully beastie (1:18am)
Alan B.: I am a fan. (1:19am)
Alan B.: Hadrons, colliding . . . (1:21am)
Alan B.: Holy moley! I loved S. Clay in my dad's old National Lampoons! (1:27am)
Alan B.: We pray for the continued good health of third-age cartoonists everywhere. (1:27am)
Alan B.: Radio verite. (1:32am)
Alan B.: Indie Cred Fruit Jar. (1:34am)
BoBO: play some lord buckley (1:56am)
BoBO: libtarded (2:02am)
BoBO: I agree- Pete should do a show (2:27am)
BoBO: hes chicken johning out (2:27am)

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