January 8, 2014 10:00pm


Nose Hair Lint Gland
So you parlayed your Stanford education into a profitable start-up where teenage girls can pay for car rides or rent an apartment by sexting via their smartphones while improving their social network ranking. It's win-win! It's called Twatr.

Problem is, you moved to the big city, and well, Palo Alto this ain't. For starters, there is a lot more non-white people, and these are not Indian or Chinese or even have computer science degrees. And let's face it, there is also a lot of, how shall we put it, unmonetizable people out on the streets.

But never fear. While you sit in your $4,000-a-month Valencia St. condo trying to figure out how to make the Mission more like the Marina, tune into the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND where hackathon waiter KAREN CARPENTER, devil investor (and part-time Estonian Supermodel) SHERILYN CONNELLY, cereal entrepreneur BOB-MARC with heavy Orkut user and ICQ enthusiast DR. FIASCO show you the ropes around town.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: "Is there a Roofies app for the iPhone?"

Chatroom History
January 8, 2014 10:00pm - 1:30am

Alan B.: Gentrification on the moon. (10:02pm)
Dr. Penny: H5 (10:05pm)
Alan B.: Leonid Nimoy DeCaprio (10:10pm)
John Heck: More Tom of Finland! (10:10pm)
Dr. Penny: omg. There's a "Fiasco the Cat" app! (10:13pm)
Alan B.: Shit, everyone's in here but Dr. Fiasco. (10:13pm)
Alan B.: Eno wrote it on a Mac, doo dah, doo dah. . . (10:13pm)
Dr. Penny: That's right! The anal douche! (10:15pm)
Alan B.: Buttsecks right outta tha box! (10:16pm)
Alan B.: FCC123LOL (10:19pm)
Dr. Penny: He has arrived!!!!! :D (10:19pm)
Alan B.: Dr. Fiasco is nice. (10:20pm)
Alan B.: THOSES people. (10:22pm)
Alan B.: I mean those. (10:22pm)
Alan B.: KrOB and Dr. Hal totally fucking rocked. (10:23pm)
John Heck: Rob and Hal fuck? (10:23pm)
Alan B.: EW. (10:24pm)
John Heck: Rob and Hal............fuck.... (10:24pm)
Alan B.: That's your ship, weirdo. (10:24pm)
Alan B.: I'm shipping Karen and the door code. (10:25pm)
Alan B.: Most excellent article (10:25pm)
Alan B.: Beyond the Dial: Pirate Radio Packs Up and Moves to the Unregulated Wilderness of the Internet (10:27pm)
Alan B.: Your mom (10:27pm)
Cute Li'l: Cover Bitches (10:27pm)
Alan B.: "What the hell is a Berlin-style ping-pong league?" -- Dr. Fiasco, 10:29 p.m. 1/8/2014 (10:29pm)
Alan B.: Are they also sending out harmoics that cause airliners to crash and make baby Jesus cry? (10:30pm)
Alan B.: ZZ (10:30pm)
Alan B.: Moar technical adjustments! (10:31pm)
Dr. Penny: It's the sexy BobMarc. (10:31pm)
Alan B.: He's dreamy. (10:32pm)
vj pussycat: let's talk about tools (10:32pm)
Alan B.: Who had the key to the wardroom safe? (10:33pm)
Alan B.: BobMarc's Tool Talk (10:33pm)
Alan B.: Imagine how shittty Spaulding would have been if he hadn't performed it 2000 times. (10:34pm)
Alan B.: Get well, KrOB! (10:36pm)
vj pussycat: have you seen gravity? (10:37pm)
Alan B.: S-P-O-I-L-E-R-S (10:38pm)
Alan B.: "Bitch! Cunt! Die!" -- That hack Spaulding Gray, 10:38 p.m., 1/8/2014 (10:39pm)
Alan B.: Tech douchebags? Hello? (10:39pm)
Alan B.: Dead Milkmen - Takin retards to the Zoo (10:40pm)
Alan B.: "Too many notes." -- Dr. Fiasco, 10:41 p.m., 1/8/2014 (10:42pm)
Alan B.: Hurting Dr. Fiasco -- (10:44pm)
Alan B.: There's a dead cockatiel on the landing. (10:45pm)
Alan B.: What's his diocese? (10:45pm)
Alan B.: How should I know? (10:45pm)
Alan B.: It's tattooed on the back of its neck! (10:46pm)
vj pussycat: was her name angie? (10:48pm)
Alan B.: Tip your server, try the veal (10:48pm)
Alan B.: D-O-U-C-H-E-B-A-G (10:50pm)
Alan B.: LOL Libel per se (10:50pm)
Alan B.: Dirty, filthy, disgusting boids. (10:51pm)
vj pussycat: good thing she didn't have a lava lamp (10:51pm)
Alan B.: Douchebag contracting (10:53pm)
Alan B.: Dead Parrot (10:56pm)
Alan B.: The dawn of the 'start-up douchebag': San Francisco locals disturbed as Google, Facebook, Apple and eBay professionals move in (10:57pm)
Alan B.: DON'T SAY KIEKO!~ (10:57pm)
Alan B.: Douchebags Like You Are Ruining San Francisco (10:58pm)
Dr. Penny: That is soooooo great. Dualing Fiascos!!!!!! (10:58pm)
Alan B.: Jason Nazar's Blog Docstoc Contact RSS Twitter The Top 10 Types of Douchebags in Tech and How NOT to Be One (10:59pm)
Alan B.: Deuling Joe Cockers (11:00pm)
The Boyfriend: I resemble that remark (11:00pm)
The Boyfriend: Ruiners Like You Are Douching San Francisco (11:00pm)
Don Draper: No. Funnier. (11:01pm)
Alan B.: The New Silicon Valley Douchebag (11:02pm)
Alan B.: 'Douchebags Like You Are Ruining San Francisco,' Gen-X Techie Says To Millennial Techies (11:02pm)
We: are on the back of a huge killer turtle (11:03pm)
Alan B.: Hey, you! "Tech people" are not the douchebags you think we are (11:03pm)
Capt Beginning: Come back to me... (11:03pm)
The Bird: I am haunt u (11:04pm)
Alan B.: 20 lb frozen turkey in a bird cage (11:04pm)
Alan B.: The bird's name was cocksucker (11:04pm)
The Bird: U shopuld bake "Found Cockatail" (11:04pm)
Alan B.: "Here, Cocksucker!" (11:04pm)
Dad Parrot: leave me out of this (11:05pm)
Alan B.: P-I-N-I-N-G F-O-R T-H-E F-J-O-R-D-S (11:06pm)
Alan B.: VERBOTEN (11:07pm)
Alan B.: That makes months and months of piracy disappear. The FCC will completely ignore that. (11:08pm)
Eating: meeting (11:08pm)
Alan B.: But it's okay because they're gay! (11:10pm)
Alan B.: The Queer Community Has to Stop Being Transphobic: Realizing My Cisgender Privilege (11:11pm)
Alan B.: Douchebag humor (11:12pm)
Alan B.: On Hipsters (11:20pm)
Alan B.: I would have guessed Hervé Villechaize (11:26pm)
Alan B.: Hurting Hal . . . (11:27pm)
Alan B.: What hasn't been ruined in SF? (11:35pm)
Alan B.: ZZ (11:39pm)
Alan B.: Thanks! (11:40pm)
The Only: Lee Harvey RestErant (11:41pm)
Alan B.: THOSE people (11:43pm)
Alan B.: I ruined the chatbox! (11:49pm)
The Only: Hipster on the Show the Show (11:50pm)
The Only: Coup Daze: one tape recording and two planes couped Guatamalas (11:53pm)
Alan B.: And on that note, love and kisses. See ya! (11:55pm)
The Only: listener is still here (11:57pm)
Bacteria: We're here (11:58pm)
Bacteria: And Stalin (11:58pm)
The Matrix: We Watching You. (11:59pm)
vj pussycat: i would like to reserve a room at the fiasco towers for the live ask dr. hal event (12:05am)
And: a two century vitus dance party (12:05am)

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