February 19, 2014 10:00pm


Nose Hair Lint Gland
Once the very last remnants of the very last stars have finally decayed away to nothing and everything reaches the same temperature, the story of Radio Valencia finally comes to an end. For the first time in its life, Radio Valencia will be permanent and unchanging. Entropy finally stops increasing, because Radio Valencia cannot get any more disordered. Nothing happens and it keeps not happening, forever.

It's what's known as the heat death of Radio Valencia, an era when the cosmos will remain vast and cold and desolate for the rest of time. And that's because on the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, there is no difference between the past, the present and the future. There's no way of measuring the passage of time, because nothing on Radio Valencia changes. Karen Carpenter, Bob-Marc, and Sherilyn Connelly will have simply ceased to exist. It's an inescapable fact of Radio Valencia, written into the fundamental laws of physics by KrOB and Puzzling Evidence.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: We've been on for 10,000 trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion years.

Chatroom History
February 19, 2014 10:00pm - 3:30am

Alan B.: This show violates the First Law of Thermodynamics. (10:01pm)
Alan B.: Band name: Sea of Photons (10:03pm)
Alan B.: Yes, Brian May is the astrophysicist. (10:05pm)
Alan B.: BTW, about 20 minutes ago you could hear Juan Rapido's eyes rolling. (10:05pm)
Alan B.: Arrow of time -- Everybody drink! (10:05pm)
Alan B.: A Brief History of Time, full movie: (10:06pm)
Dr. Penny: But if there is no time, the stars can't go out due to time. (10:07pm)
Alan B.: The Black Hole Wars: My Battle with Stephen Hawking (10:08pm)
Alan B.: Hi, Dr. Penny! Don't they go out due to entropy, due to all of their energy being dissapated? Time, as well? (10:08pm)
Alan B.: Ultimate fate of the universe Ultimate fate of the universe (10:12pm)
Alan B.: Trillion was my favorite Red Dwarf character. (10:12pm)
Alan B.: Ultimate fate of the universe (10:13pm)
Dr. Penny: Hi, Alan B.! I keep the stars burning with my love. (10:13pm)
Alan B.: Burning Love: (10:13pm)
Alan B.: Jesus, was Elvis ever one tweaky pill-headed freak. (10:15pm)
Alan B.: RAGNAROKTOBER! (10:17pm)
Alan B.: Ragnarok in Norse Mythology (10:18pm)
Alan B.: 100 Trillion Dollar Zimbabwe Banknote $34.00 (10:20pm)
Alan B.: Note: Due to a worldwide shortage of the high denomination Zimbabwe banknotes, prices are going up fast and will most likely continue to rise. There isn't anything we can do about this. (10:21pm)
Alan B.: How Big is a Trillion? (10:21pm)
Alan B.: One trillion seconds of ordinary clock time = ( 1012 sec)/( 3.16 x 107 sec/yr) = 31,546 years! (10:22pm)
Alan B.: Where's my hearthrob Bob-Marc? (10:23pm)
Alan B.: Artist: Pink Floyd Album: A Saucerful of Secrets Released: 1968 (10:24pm)
Alan B.: (10:24pm)
Sherilyn: The Heat Death of Syd Barrett: (10:24pm)
Alan B.: Poor fucker. (10:25pm)
Dr. Penny: Better watch out for the Dick Effect. It'll throw your clock off. (10:25pm)
Alan B.: No Minutemen 2-nite. :( (10:26pm)
Alan B.: Rock out with your clock out, Dr. Penny. (10:26pm)
Alan B.: Paul McCartney Really Is Dead: The Last Testament of George Harrison (2010) 1-6 (10:29pm)
Alan B.: The narrator of this documentary is a textbook example of a douchebag. 2:25 (10:30pm)
Alan B.: Yeah, Pete! (10:30pm)
Alan B.: I certainly hope so. I'm so glad Sherilyn is well and you are entirely welcome. (10:31pm)
Alan B.: I'm fascinated by Pete's secret annex. (10:31pm)
vj pussycat: i like this week's show (10:32pm)
Alan B.: Me, too, vj! (10:32pm)
Alan B.: Got it in one. (10:32pm)
Alan B.: I'm uncertain, I'm listenting to the show! (10:33pm)
Alan B.: Jesus, this Syd photo is creepy. (10:33pm)
Alan B.: Those eyes are accusing EVERYBODY. (10:34pm)
Alan B.: Because I listened to the secret link to the Jan. 17 show, I learned that I cut Hal to the quick with my Facebook review of his radio show. (10:35pm)
Alan B.: I regret this. (10:35pm)
Sherilyn: What's to regret? (10:35pm)
Alan B.: I stand by the review, but he sounded so HURT. (10:36pm)
Sherilyn: He'll get over it. (10:37pm)
Alan B.: I'm certain. (10:37pm)
God: Where's the regret? (10:37pm)
God: of nothing... (10:37pm)
vj pussycat: what did you say to hurt hal? (10:37pm)
Alan B.: I said everybody should listen to it, even though parts of it are a technical catastrophe, because it is often a sparkling conversation with really wonderful people. (10:38pm)
Alan B.: Hal blamed the equipment in the RV studio. (10:38pm)
Sherilyn: YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD!!!!!!! (10:38pm)
vj pussycat: what's so bad about that? (10:38pm)
God: How's it taste? (10:39pm)
God: OOHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (10:39pm)
Alan B.: Hal really does feel put upon by the studio, which I imagaine is jury-rigged. If you don't have a clue about how to fix radio stuff, it would be frustrating. (10:39pm)
Alan B.: I'm a bad person, basically. (10:40pm)
Dr. Penny: Just keep masturbating. (10:40pm)
Alan B.: I'm doing it now! (10:40pm)
Dr. Penny: LOL! (10:40pm)
Me: If "I" don't?! (10:40pm)
vj pussycat: wow you're a good typer (10:40pm)
Alan B.: WTF?! No space science report when I can hear it live on RV?! (10:41pm)
Agent Aslan: /()@@&(://)$(;;:.&$ (10:46pm)
Alan B.: Phased Cookies. (10:47pm)
Alan B.: Space is the place, brothers and sisters: (10:48pm)
Alan B.: Harry Scifres Robins 9 minutes ago GALLERY OF GREAT PROTO-SUBGENIUSES Paracelsus, 1493-1541 (10:51pm)
Alan B.: Wait, link? I'll be the judge of fuckability, thank you. (10:53pm)
Alan B.: For straight boys, sure. (10:54pm)
Alan B.: Well, for me, anyway. (10:54pm)
Alan B.: Red pointy lights (10:56pm)
Alan B.: The sky's gone out: (10:57pm)
Alan B.: Bitchy scientists. (10:59pm)
Alan B.: Daylight Savings Time? (10:59pm)
Alan B.: Play along at home: Venom - Live At City Gardens, NJ. CLASSIC. (11:01pm)
Alan B.: Sherilyn beat me to axing the question. (11:05pm)
Alan B.: Ah, those were the days. (11:07pm)
Alan B.: Explicit Content Only - Evan Roth (11:09pm)
Alan B.: I fucking love this show. (11:09pm)
Alan B.: Bugger your toe! (11:11pm)
Dr. Penny: Now stick your finger in my butt and make this pussy nut. (11:13pm)
Alan B.: Bob-Marc's got a ground loop! Bob-Marc's got a ground loop! Bob-Marc's got a ground loop! (11:13pm)
Dr. Penny: Make this pussy nut. Make this pussy nut. (11:13pm)
Alan B.: Pussy Guerilla Face Banana Fuck Nut: (11:14pm)
Dr. Penny: Put the rubber on it, don't stop while you're hittin' it. (11:14pm)
Alan B.: Plug it into a different AC circuit than the board. (11:15pm)
Alan B.: HURTING HAL!!! (11:15pm)
Alan B.: Why does the straight boy have a little head? (11:16pm)
Dr. Penny: You can think with your big head, or with your little head. (11:18pm)
Alan B.: She's called strawberry and everybody know strawberry strawberry is the neighborhood hoe Do anything for a hit or two Give the bitch a rock she fucked the whole damn crew It might be your wife and it might make you sick Come home and see her mouth on the dopeman's dick (11:19pm)
Alan B.: Those are big atoms. (11:26pm)
Alan B.: SEGA! (11:26pm)
Alan B.: All-singing, all-dancing Cosmos. (11:26pm)
Alan B.: Why am I so mean? (11:29pm)
Alan B.: He needs a beard. (11:30pm)
Alan B.: EXPLOITABLE! (11:31pm)
Alan B.: Photoshop?! Fuck that shit. GIMP - The GNU Image Manipulation Program (11:31pm)
Alan B.: I'll never drink Frenet Branca in this town again. (11:32pm)
Alan B.: Have you got a moment to talk about Hitler? (11:37pm)
Alan B.: Puzzling Evidence Show theft-protected. (11:39pm)
Me: Hitler protected time shift theft (11:43pm)
Alan B.: Hitler Plans Burning Man (11:48pm)
Alan B.: Eeep. (11:51pm)
Alan B.: Krob Sabrepop 2 minutes ago (11:52pm)
Alan B.: Des Barres wrote two memoirs about her experience as a groupie, I'm with the Band (1987) and Take Another Little Piece of My Heart: A Groupie Grows Up (1993), as well as two other non-fiction books, Rock Bottom: Dark Moments in Music Babylon and Let's Spend the Night Together: Backstage Secrets of Rock Muses and Supergroupies (Chicago Review Press, 2007). (11:54pm)
Alan B.: Cynthia Plaster Caster (11:56pm)
Alan B.: Goldie, P. (2014, February 20). Interview by S. Connelly. Best bacon-wrapped hotdogs in san fransisco, california. (12:00am)
Alan B.: No prob. (12:00am)
Alan B.: The Alan B. effect now terminates for the evening. Please continue for several more hours. 'Nite! (12:01am)
Sesame Street alien: yip yip yip yip yip yip yip yip yip yip (12:27am)
Sesame Street alien: uh huh. uh huh. uh huh. (12:27am)
Alan Not B.: woosh wooosh (12:30am)
Lonely Outpost: of logged on radio (1:41am)

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