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THE FINAL BROADCAST
PUBLIC ACCESS GIBBERISH
March 5, 2014 10:00pm
Welcome to Radio Valencia Public Access!

Public access radio is your opportunity to create your vision and get your voice heard. Any San Francisco resident or community organization is welcome to air a show on Radio Valencia Public Access, wherever it is made. We do not edit, preview, or take any editorial control over the content of a show. Producers airing programs on Radio Valencia Public Access may use our remote camera/lighting packages, or our edit suites to produce their shows, or they can produce their shows using other resources.

Whether you want to produce your own show or you'd just like to volunteer on someone else's, we have training classes so that you can learn the elements of production and how to use our equipment. We also have an intern program, also known as the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND which is designed for people who want a more structured, in-depth training experience in video production -- people like Karen Carpenter, Bob-Marc, Sherilyn Connelly, or even KrOB and Puzzling Evidence. .

Remember, radio is in your hands! Whether you think thousands of people will want to hear your show, or maybe just the people on your block, public access radio is waiting for you!

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: We are pursuant to Section 611 of the Communications Act.

Chatroom History
March 5, 2014 10:00pm - 4:30am

Alan B.: I'm completely lost with no Facebook invite. (10:09pm)
Alan B.: Wayne's World, party time, excellent. (10:09pm)
Alan B.: I feel uninvited with no Facebook invite. (10:11pm)
Alan B.: What really amuses me is that my communications degree focused on the intense power of public access television for social change. (10:12pm)
Alan B.: Chips. (10:13pm)
Alan B.: I'm convinced that, beyond Wayne's World, public access changed diddly squat. (10:14pm)
Alan B.: YOU LEFT THE MOTHERFUCKING WINDOW OPEN YOU DUMB MOTHERFUCKERS! (10:15pm)
Alan B.: Bob-Marc played the entire show into cue. (10:16pm)
Alan B.: Into the recursive. (10:16pm)
Alan B.: Summer's Eve? (10:17pm)
Alan B.: What other anachonisms will be extensively covered by NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND? Leaded gas? Bell bottoms? Music videos? (10:21pm)
Dr. Penny: Lead bell music (10:23pm)
Alan B.: We're you invited, Dr. Penny? I'm crashing this party. (10:23pm)
Dr. Penny: Nobody is invited, just show up --- like all the listeners. (10:24pm)
Alan B.: (I wouldn't have seen it anyway, I was asleep.) (10:24pm)
Alan B.: You could be serving the community, just like Non-profit Burning Man: http://bit.ly/1fa0ub2 (10:25pm)
Alan B.: Seriously, I believed all this horseshit about public access. Turns out that it is simply a megaphone for narcissism. (10:26pm)
Alan B.: Okay, now I get it -- the partners of Burning Man are no longer on the hook for liability. (10:27pm)
Alan B.: So wait %u2013 does this mean the Founders have stepped back and given everything to charity? Well, not quite. It sounds nice, and Larry calls it %u201Cthe truth%u201D, but unfortunately, it ain%u2019t %u201Cthe truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth%u201D. (10:29pm)
Alan B.: ew, sorry, that's ugly. (10:30pm)
Alan B.: MOTHERFUCKING WINDOW! (10:31pm)
Alan B.: If you had been at the MEETINGS you would know about the MOTHERFUCKING WINDOW issue. (10:32pm)
Alan B.: Brilliant. (10:32pm)
Alan B.: I think BABYMETAL needs to be on public access. http://bit.ly/1fa1k7r (10:34pm)
Sherilyn: My public access adventure: http://bit.ly/1fa1tYx (10:36pm)
Alan B.: Breaking down the door (10:42pm)
Alan B.: My friend tried to sell AccesSF on a half-hour series whrere he pointed a camera at a brick wall. (10:42pm)
Alan B.: They were interested. . . (10:43pm)
Sherilyn: I was about to say, they aren't legally allowed to NOT be interested. (10:43pm)
Alan B.: Exactly. (10:44pm)
Sherilyn: '... says Radio Valencia has "a huge responsibility now that KUSF is gone" %u2014 give or take KUSF's online incarnation %u2014 and that Radio Valencia is the door on which "bands, writers, performers, local politicians, and activists" are all knocking: "We're the bullhorn for the Mission."' (10:44pm)
Alan B.: There ARE a lot of DJs. Do they have an audience? (10:44pm)
Alan B.: Sherilyn, this high-angle camerawork in "Pilot" reveals -- in your gaze -- a species-ist disregard for the dignity of the subject. (10:47pm)
Alan B.: And the floor is messy. (10:47pm)
Alan B.: Nice looking pussy, though. (10:48pm)
Alan B.: Ahhhhhh . . . my invitation FINALLY arrived. (10:49pm)
Karen Carpenter: you are late! (10:50pm)
Alan B.: I had no idea how to dress! (10:50pm)
Alan B.: excavation ditch (10:53pm)
Alan B.: Wow, (10:55pm)
Alan B.: I can't (10:55pm)
Alan B.: post this sentence: (10:56pm)
Alan B.: Sorry, the invite was hidden (10:56pm)
Alan B.: from my by (10:56pm)
Alan B.: Facebook. (10:56pm)
Alan B.: Or, I had just woken up and missed it. (10:56pm)
Alan B.: Shaggs approved. (10:57pm)
Alan B.: I LOVE this show for its anachronistic Dick Cavett references. (10:58pm)
Alan B.: Smoking marijuana during a broadcast is very unprofessional. (10:59pm)
Alan B.: Required NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND reading: (11:01pm)
Alan B.: http://amzn.to/1fa3DY8 (11:01pm)
Alan B.: FauxMax (11:03pm)
Alan B.: Okay, here's my prank chatterbox post: (11:04pm)
Alan B.: "Cocking suck my fuck!" (11:05pm)
Alan B.: Damn! (11:05pm)
Alan B.: SciFi nerds get their narcissism handled in a different way than public access. (11:10pm)
Alan B.: Like angry letters in the pages of Starlog. (11:10pm)
Sherilyn: Angry letters like these? http://bit.ly/1hO4qmM (11:11pm)
Alan B.: Oh. My. God. (11:12pm)
Karen Carpenter: http://bit.ly/1hO4z9R (11:12pm)
Alan B.: That arm sweep made me tingle. (11:12pm)
Alan B.: The Norwegian podcast is in Norwegian. (11:15pm)
Alan B.: "I love your mag, but you didn't even mention my name as the owner of the van . . . " (11:16pm)
Alan B.: This Startlog blog post . . . it's full of stars. . . . (11:17pm)
Alan B.: Contractor talkzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz (11:17pm)
Alan B.: Bacon-wrapped barrel sander. (11:18pm)
Sherilyn: He's my favorite, the ""You didn't even mention my name!!!" guy. (11:20pm)
Alan B.: He needs a public access show. (11:20pm)
Alan B.: K-tel Records "Captain of the Starship" commercial 1978 http://bit.ly/1hO69sk (11:23pm)
Alan B.: MOTHERFUCKING (11:24pm)
Alan B.: Steve Dahl actually was doing that, handing out flashdrives with a sample and a Web page for signing up. But it's too expensive. (11:29pm)
Dr. Penny: The corner of the window slides and cuts into the vagina. (11:29pm)
Alan B.: That window hurts my vagina. (11:29pm)
Alan B.: Now he gives away free samples, but NHLG is already free. (11:30pm)
Alan B.: I believe that this podcast is commodification-proof. (11:30pm)
Alan B.: I'll pay the April bill for the show if you guys pull the new fan down and destory it on the air. (11:31pm)
Alan B.: No, just kidding. (11:32pm)
Alan B.: When did THAT happen?! (11:34pm)
Alan B.: MO. THER. FUCK. ING. (11:35pm)
Alan B.: I'm gonna just say that this Starlog piece is a real thing of beauty. (11:44pm)
Sherilyn: Thanks! There's seven others like it, and there will probably be more, but it hasn't been a high priority (and the demand has not been paticularly great). (11:45pm)
Alan B.: My focus on nerddom was The Comics Buyers' Guide and The Comics Journal, the latter of which had its own history with Harlan Ellison. (11:46pm)
Alan B.: Nattional Lampoon Radio Dinner. BOOM! (11:48pm)
Alan B.: Karen Carpenter, you were perfectly correct that this Over The Edge podcast featuring Firesign Theatre and Bob and Ray is worth everyone's time and should be downloaded now: http://bit.ly/1hO9DLi (11:50pm)
Alan B.: They're dropping like flies. (11:51pm)
Alan B.: Oh, is it Kennedy O'clock again already? (11:54pm)
Alan B.: Electra woman and Dyna Girl episode 1 part1/1 http://bit.ly/1hOabAS (11:55pm)
Alan B.: Activate electrachange! (11:57pm)
Alan B.: Orrrrrannnnnngggggge. (11:58pm)
Alan B.: Cocksucking (11:59pm)
Alan B.: I have been missing the KrOB remix. (12:01am)
Alan B.: G'nite, and close the motherfucking window. (12:01am)
Alan B.: Malcom X John-Lennon? Come on in and dig your mother. (12:03am)


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