February 18, 2015 10:00pm


Unsolicited advice is the most cost-effective advice around. Internationally valued at 2 cents and unaffected by inflation over the last century, few can argue that price is a barrier to getting unwanted advice. In fact, it seems there are almost no barriers to the delivery of such advice, especially when it is completely useless information. There is also no added cost for same-day delivery, even when personally presented by the informant. The time it takes you to hear it is the only extra charge, unless you elect to process the datum before rejecting it. Many have concluded that the processing and responding time does incure a net loss, so have adopted a rapid non-commital acknowledgement combined with false enthusiastic appreciation for the irritating effort of the clueless informant. This is best demonstrated with the following exchange:

Someone Who Obviously Knows More About Life Than You Do: "You should fix that flat tire. It is certainly damaging and potentially dangerous to continue riding your bike like that. I once saw someone slip and break a tooth because of a flat. It was fortunate that person was not run over by a bus. Even bus tires need changing when flat. I drove a bus once, so I know about these things."

You: "Thank you!"

The accumulated wisdom of countless civilizations have learned that any other reply is certainly damaging to your psyche and potentially dangerous to everyone nearby. And this is why during the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, qualified staff advisors Karen Carpenter, Bob-Marc, Sherilyn Connelly, along with loquacious expert KrOB will help you in ways that you can't possibily appreciate.

NOSE HAR LINT GLAND: Unwelcome answers to unasked questions, sent with love.

enjoying: i hear you (10:26pm)
enjoying: slack (10:38pm)
Sesame Street alien: Cause of death: duck embolism. (10:51pm)
vj pussycat: dr fiasco is on fb?! (11:10pm)
vj pussycat: hi dr and y'all (11:11pm)
vj pussycat: I will like you're page. maybe. (11:34pm)
vj pussycat: your not you're (11:35pm)
vj pussycat: I do about 5% fb than I used to (11:37pm)
vj pussycat: dead air (11:51pm)
vj pussycat: and there's no dr fiasco on fb (11:51pm)
vj pussycat: live air again (11:52pm)
vj pussycat: there is a Brazilian astronaut on fb, but he's not hairy enough (11:56pm)

<- back to podcasts