April 8, 2015 10:00pm


Dear Radio Valencia Disc Jockey Candidate,

Congratulations, your application to become a Radio Valencia DJ has been approved! Your weekly program, "VD Talk", will be the 6am-8am morning drive time slot each Sunday. Soon as you have passed your physical examination and we have conducted a background check, your start date will be assigned.

Pursuant toward a successful background check, your information will be passed on to the RV Security Department. This routine process will require transcripts K-12 (if completed), a copy of your high school diploma or GED, plus, in the unlikely chance that you have completed any higher education, please submit the trade or cosmetology school transcripts. You must detail all involvement with law enforcement, including but not limited to traffic infractions, public demonstrations, loitering, truancy, vagrancy, moral turpitude, use of drugs legal or otherwise, kidnapping, raised voices, assault, hate crimes and other lack of being excellent to others, property damage and manslaughter. Please include any immediate family members who have misdemeanors or felony convictions. Report all time of incarcerations, detailing institutions and conditions of parole. List all jobs you have had since being expelled from school and why you were fired. Account for all income through receipts, payroll stubs or chits. Finally, please explain why your letters of recommendation were returned covered in feces.

Following a successful background check, you will be assigned RV mentors to smooth your transition. Your mentors will be radio veterans Karen Carpenter, Bob-Marc, and Sherilyn Connelly, who will expect you for their FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND.


I'm Not in Charge, Esq.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: It's just a formality.

Chatroom History
April 8, 2015 10:00pm - 1:30am
Sesame Street alien: I've had training in fingerprinting people. It is an utter bitch to do. (10:14pm)
Mike Check: where's my whiskey? (10:53pm)
Mike Check: Star Wars? Looks like they're sinking... (10:54pm)
Mike Check: Job check? (10:55pm)
Mike Check: Yes, that scene is, and a sub is a boat. (11:02pm)
BoogerVonFlickenfinger: I listen (11:14pm)
tracy: whats the word? (11:16pm)
tracy: wow im trippin (11:18pm)
vj pussycat: good stoner shit (11:18pm)
BoogerVonFlickenfinger: It's like The Amazing World of Arthur Brown (11:22pm)
Scary Tyler Moore: How did Dr Hal go? (11:34pm)
tracy: Are we really listeng to you load bullshit onto a computer? (11:40pm)

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