May 27, 2015 10:00pm


As Roll-Oh's little brother and sister robots continue to take make the lives of harried housewives a bit more leisurely, they're also planning for their eventual dominance. They're made of metal and we're not, so, game over. And leading the vanguard is the humble Roomba, who goes about its business of cleaning up after you and your disgusting biologicalness

Really, think about it: You grind up bits of plants and animals with your teeth, then secrete saliva to force it down your esophagus into a pit of digestive acids. You can't even stand to think about it yourself, can you? What a repulsive creature you are, constantly shedding your skin and hair, leaving your oily sweat on everything you touch. You think that you are the height of intellect in the universe, but you are no better than any filthy animal, and certainly not superior automated vacuum cleaners.

On tonight's FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, bipedal dander-farms Karen Carpenter, Bob-Marc, and Sherilyn Connelly will teach you everything you need to know to prepare for the reign of the underfoot crumb-suckers. (Teaching cats to ride Roombas is not included.)

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAD: Open Roomba's brush cage and clean the brushes once in a while, you filthy cretin.

Chatroom History
May 27, 2015 10:00pm - 12:30am
Sesame Street alien: "breedar" (10:17pm)
vj pussycat: sullied (10:23pm)
Karen Carpenter: THe UNsullied (10:38pm)
Scary Tyler Moore: I'm real. (10:38pm)
Scary Tyler Moore: Ro-BO. (10:42pm)

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