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January 2, 2013 10:00pm
Any idiot can and will predict the future, but to look into the maw of the past in its bovine certainty and dive into its waters of unanimity to come back up with valuable pearls of knowledge as a nimble Okinawan diver takes a true moron.

And so it is that in the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND Karen Carpenter, Bob-Marc, Dr. Fiasco and the disembodied voice and entropical musical stylings of DJ Curmudge (direct from Dallas, gateway to Houston) will look forward with their chinese-made astrolabes into the last twelve months and predict things that happened and some that didn't such as:

- Someone famous in Entertainment, Politics or Sports is going to die.

- Arabs and Jews are going to be mean to each other.

- The world is going to end 10 days ago but God's HR department is busy dealing with the backlog of New Age Survivalist types who got in line years ago and so the whole End of the World schedule had to be pushed back a bit. The Alpacalypse (yeah, the Mayans didn't have alpacas, it was the Incas, but who cares, and besides our team of 8-year old screenwriters in the Philippines though it was funny) Help Desk said they're "steadily catching up with the workload", meaning the rest of us "real soon". FEMA says this time they're ready, "like super really extra ready, no we're serious" ready.

- Facebook,Twitter,My Space,Google Friends and Instagram will merge into
one big glop of social network madness called Instatwittmyface Friends.

- borg9, having finally defeated the process of aging, continues to smash lame punks using only the continued growth of this hair and toenails.

- Barack Obama reelected Best Presidential Abs for the 4th year in a row

The first "Lesbian" Hurricane will tear through the Bible Belt causing millions of Christians to start getting a faint sense that maybe, just maybe, God does not have their backs.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: We could have gone for 100% prediction accuracy, but it would look fishy.

Chatroom History
January 2, 2013 10:00pm - 1:30am

Curmudge: Under arrest (11:07pm)
Curmudge: I predict this show will only get better in 2013 (11:09pm)
Curmudge: Airtight Garage (11:10pm)
katherding: smash it (11:48pm)
katherding: pyroclastic (11:49pm)
storytellers: yeah, storytellers are here tonight (11:56pm)
princessvalentina: um, where are the storytellers! (12:03am)
princessvalentina: I heard they were going to be on tonight (12:03am)
storytellers: hey! i'm here! (12:03am)
princessvalentina: It may be one storyteller, but she's so much more than that (12:03am)

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