starring Dr. Hal !
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Dr. Mrs. GIRLFRIEND!
August 2, 2013 10:00pm
Dr. Hal Robins tries to do another award winning question and answer radio show, only to be interrupted repeatedly by Sarah Szczechowicz Goldie as she describes her totally awesome birthday. Puzzling Evidence provides historical context to this momentous day as Mrs. Goldie's husband sits impotently by.
KrOB does not bring her a present. Boooo.
Chatroom History
August 2, 2013 10:00pm - 2:30am
A B: http://bit.ly/16PxFOq (10:11pm)
A B: I'm not sure, but I think those spiders are in a cave, grooving with a pict. (10:12pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: Rarely have life's sweetness and bitterness been embraced with more even-glanded genius than in the provocative, original, and unsettling work of Dr Hal Robins. (10:24pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: He offers an an ethos of vision %u2014- a way of grappling with whatever the world has to offer %u2014- in the indomitable force and lucidity of his propaganda. (10:24pm)
A B: A silver-tounged devil. (10:25pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: Unfortunately for his academic careers, his theory of Yeti-dinosaur interbreeding contravenes our intellectual inheritance from Darwin and, for that matter, Plato, and it will ring false to many of his contemporaries in theoretical paleontology. (10:25pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: A platinum-lipped demon (10:26pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: Even so, his pithy patois is packed with more punchy wisdom than you find in bloviations ten times the length and duration. (10:26pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: With Dr Hal Robins, it's a simple exercise of his prodigious intellect to condemn the exclusion, amplify the reasons, and leave open the option of working with the telephoneurs -- it is a win-draw situation (10:27pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: To his detractors, he%u2019s ACADEMIC RISK writ large. If I were a conspiracy theorist, I might even suspect that all the fuss about Dr Hal is supposed to make us %u2018watch the birdie%u2019 -- a distraction from the real issue, which is ( he says ) : "How do we structure The Show to serve the needs of consumers and fascism in as safe a way as possible ?%u201D (10:28pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: to serve the needs of consumers and fascism in as safe a way as possible ?%u201D We don't. (10:29pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: wtf w/ this word processor, (10:29pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: Close up, he reeks of cannabis, offset with a liberal application of BurmaShave. That is why people often regurgitate spontaneously in his presence. Rumor has it that his name "Hal" is short for Halitosis (10:30pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: damn I type fast (10:30pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: Listeners are nonetheless blabbergasted by the cussed, contrary, wilful, protesting, obstreperous bantering that propagates from his oral maw. Every sentence is an ear-opener for the non-adept. (10:30pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: Dr Hal's hominidity is the rich effluvium, the waste and the manure and the soil from which flourishes his florid art, a flurried collage of classical colloquialisms and pseudo-random algorithmic soliloquies the likes of which are seldom heard on this planet. (10:32pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: Such is his oral art, to say nothing of his penmanship. But who is the man ? Dr Hal Robins was born in 1970 at age 25 in Xaxaq, Malta. He is the certified reincarnation of the renowned publisher, playwright, poet and critic T.S. Eliot ( d. 4 Jan. 1965 ) and of rock music god Jim Morrison ( d. 3. July 1971 ). (10:33pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: ( d. 3. July 1971 ). (10:33pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: His infancy was noteworthy for its inordinate length -- 12 years. (10:33pm)
A B: Happy birthday, Sarah! (10:34pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: Dr Hal's childhood was spent as a cabin boy aboard a Japanese whaling ship until he was rescued by Greenpeace activists at age 20. He served as their cabin boy for several years until he left to join the U.S. Navy. (10:34pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: Que Sera, Sarah? (10:34pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: Dr Hal became a pure vegetarian in 2005, when he received an experimental 3-stomach ruminal transplant at the Mossad Organ Clinic in Rio De Janiero. This soon resulted in him being banned from all municipal parks in San Francisco and many elsewheres due to the devastation wreaked by his unrestrained foraging -- no lawn was safe. (10:35pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: wreaked by his unrestrained foraging -- no lawn was safe. He also lost all rectal control as a result of a gross surgical error, and has undergone colon resectioning in an apparently futile effort to control the problem. (10:35pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: In 2012 he was banished altogether from San Francisco and all contiguous municipalities adjacent thereunto (10:35pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: Since then he has been sighted several times wandering naked in the hills of Bolinas, eating grass and copulating cattle. His behavior has been ascribed to Mad Cow Disease, but that is only a rumor since he has escaped capture and testing. Authorities believe he is being sheltered by faithful fans. (10:36pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: by faithful fans. (10:36pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: Dr Hal has revealed for the first time the inner structure and function of The Show in all its splendorous intricacy -- and its uncritical arrogance, dissolved in a post-modern goulash of gibberish and puffery (10:36pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: a ghoulish verisimilitude that gives compelling power to his factitious fictions, all the while indiscretely exposed by the speculum of his medical curiosity. He promises closure, and indeed provides it painlessly by liberal applications of super-glue and opiated vinegar. (10:37pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: His art forms champion the weak (women), defeated (American Indians), repellent (homosexuals) or otherwise inferior groups groping for attention. Still, he fails to reach the hardcore hippy holdouts who alone know the true secret. (10:37pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: This failure to commune may explain his professed politics as softcore leftist denialism with distinctly masochistic predilections, and overtones of "Austrian" economics. (10:38pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: Such pretentious posturing invites verbal and police abuse that inevitably overcompensates for an unperceivable preconception of deficit. (10:38pm)
A B: Go on, I am following you carefully. (10:38pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: Hypothetical self-evaluated empowerment, when tested in vivo versus Dr Hal, has proven woefully inadequate as a surrogate for alternative explanations of his phenomenal maifestations. (10:38pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: ooops ... My physique is naked ! I am sooo embare-asssed ... Please hold for a moment whilst i put some panties upon my buttocks and mons veneris ... ahhh ... ok ... all better now ... you were saying ? (10:39pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: I said : when you phase-conjugate your mind, then will be now (10:40pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: repetez, s'il vous plait (10:41pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: dear doctor animal -- My 2-year-old pupppy "Poopsy" doesnt bark -- she only says "Meow".And she hates kibble, and she hunts mice. Is something "wrong' with her ? I am seriously considering castrating the stupit critter. (10:41pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: can I get a second opinion ? Somebody help me, please (10:42pm)
Aunt Bertha: Dear Sirs or Madams : I , Aunt Bertha, do herewith & hereby Bequeth and Vouchsafe unto You, mine own original Virginity. It has been used, butt once. May it serve You as well in protecting your precious Vagina, if only by diverting unwanted Attention to other Orifices. It worked thus and so for me, despite my many and repeated efforts and attempts to consummate a concupiscient conclusion to my genomic agenda. Alas & alack, my Fate has been, to have no such Destiny... No progeny to perpetuate my aminos in conjunctive combinations with another gender of our mutual Species... Bye bye now... Signed Aunt Bertha (10:44pm)
Aunt Bertha: and so for me, despite my many and repeated efforts and attempts to consummate a concupiscient conclusion to my genomic agenda. Alas & alack, my Fate has been, to have no such Destiny... No progeny to perpetuate my aminos in conjunctive combinations with another gender of our mutual Species... (10:44pm)
Aunt Bertha: Remember Folks , Only Monsanto Can Save The Babies ! (10:45pm)
Benny Netanyahoo: I have a statuette of the Show on my fireplace mantle. I offer Blood Sacrifices to it every day. I hieroglyphicalistally ask of Thee, O Blessed Show, " Bread, Beer, and Beef " and " More Money " ! In the Bowels of Isis, I beseech thee, O Show : Grant this Boon unto me, your humble Listener ! I thank you in advance. Signed, Benny (10:45pm)
Puddling Effulgence: THIS SHOW PRODUCT IS PROVIDED "AS IS" WITHOUT ANY WARRANTY OF ANY KIND, EITHER EXPRESS OR IMPLIED. WITHOUT LIMITATION, TO THE FULLEST EXTENT ALLOWABLE BY LAW, END USER ASSUMES THE ENTIRE RISK AS TO THE QUALITY OF THE PERFORMANCE. (10:47pm)
Charley Magne: Mon cher monsieur ou madam -- Une day soon, the Merovingian Dynasty will rise again ! And then, everyone will speak French ! (10:51pm)
Charley Magne: even you boujois ninnies (10:51pm)
Clockwork Pink: I am Time Traveler from Past . I am Now to tell You : Stop The Show ! Stop The Show ! Stop The Show ! Please please. You are about to become an awful Monster that will eat all radio frequencies as food and pleasure. (10:53pm)
Trayvon: Hi, it's me, Trayvon Martin.... I just want to tell you all, I really enjoy being dead. Now I don't have to go through the rest of a lousy incarnation as a stupit punk with shit for brains & "culture", listening to my ugly-ass momma and low-life "friends" squawk jive bullshit. What a relief ! Thank you, Mr Zimmerman ! (10:54pm)
Trayvon: Thank you Mr Zimmerman (10:54pm)
G Zimmerman: You're very welcome (10:56pm)
Dr. Penny: Dr. Goldie is a good fix. (10:59pm)
A B: Zounds, fell asleep again. (11:06pm)
Alex G Bell: answer the phone please (11:07pm)
A B: And down goes the teleponic heckler. (11:10pm)
A B: Stand your ground against Dwarves! (11:16pm)
Officer Down: I've fallen and I can't get it up. Somebody help me, please (11:17pm)
Dr. Penny: The Goldies having a golden moment of making out. (11:33pm)
vj pussycat: did you get her a fedora? (11:51pm)
Dr. Penny: You can take one home at the end of the Haunted Mansion ride. (12:32am)
A B: Best show I ever slept through. (12:52am)
KrOB does not bring her a present. Boooo.
Chatroom History
August 2, 2013 10:00pm - 2:30am
A B: http://bit.ly/16PxFOq (10:11pm)
A B: I'm not sure, but I think those spiders are in a cave, grooving with a pict. (10:12pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: Rarely have life's sweetness and bitterness been embraced with more even-glanded genius than in the provocative, original, and unsettling work of Dr Hal Robins. (10:24pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: He offers an an ethos of vision %u2014- a way of grappling with whatever the world has to offer %u2014- in the indomitable force and lucidity of his propaganda. (10:24pm)
A B: A silver-tounged devil. (10:25pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: Unfortunately for his academic careers, his theory of Yeti-dinosaur interbreeding contravenes our intellectual inheritance from Darwin and, for that matter, Plato, and it will ring false to many of his contemporaries in theoretical paleontology. (10:25pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: A platinum-lipped demon (10:26pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: Even so, his pithy patois is packed with more punchy wisdom than you find in bloviations ten times the length and duration. (10:26pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: With Dr Hal Robins, it's a simple exercise of his prodigious intellect to condemn the exclusion, amplify the reasons, and leave open the option of working with the telephoneurs -- it is a win-draw situation (10:27pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: To his detractors, he%u2019s ACADEMIC RISK writ large. If I were a conspiracy theorist, I might even suspect that all the fuss about Dr Hal is supposed to make us %u2018watch the birdie%u2019 -- a distraction from the real issue, which is ( he says ) : "How do we structure The Show to serve the needs of consumers and fascism in as safe a way as possible ?%u201D (10:28pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: to serve the needs of consumers and fascism in as safe a way as possible ?%u201D We don't. (10:29pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: wtf w/ this word processor, (10:29pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: Close up, he reeks of cannabis, offset with a liberal application of BurmaShave. That is why people often regurgitate spontaneously in his presence. Rumor has it that his name "Hal" is short for Halitosis (10:30pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: damn I type fast (10:30pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: Listeners are nonetheless blabbergasted by the cussed, contrary, wilful, protesting, obstreperous bantering that propagates from his oral maw. Every sentence is an ear-opener for the non-adept. (10:30pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: Dr Hal's hominidity is the rich effluvium, the waste and the manure and the soil from which flourishes his florid art, a flurried collage of classical colloquialisms and pseudo-random algorithmic soliloquies the likes of which are seldom heard on this planet. (10:32pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: Such is his oral art, to say nothing of his penmanship. But who is the man ? Dr Hal Robins was born in 1970 at age 25 in Xaxaq, Malta. He is the certified reincarnation of the renowned publisher, playwright, poet and critic T.S. Eliot ( d. 4 Jan. 1965 ) and of rock music god Jim Morrison ( d. 3. July 1971 ). (10:33pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: ( d. 3. July 1971 ). (10:33pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: His infancy was noteworthy for its inordinate length -- 12 years. (10:33pm)
A B: Happy birthday, Sarah! (10:34pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: Dr Hal's childhood was spent as a cabin boy aboard a Japanese whaling ship until he was rescued by Greenpeace activists at age 20. He served as their cabin boy for several years until he left to join the U.S. Navy. (10:34pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: Que Sera, Sarah? (10:34pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: Dr Hal became a pure vegetarian in 2005, when he received an experimental 3-stomach ruminal transplant at the Mossad Organ Clinic in Rio De Janiero. This soon resulted in him being banned from all municipal parks in San Francisco and many elsewheres due to the devastation wreaked by his unrestrained foraging -- no lawn was safe. (10:35pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: wreaked by his unrestrained foraging -- no lawn was safe. He also lost all rectal control as a result of a gross surgical error, and has undergone colon resectioning in an apparently futile effort to control the problem. (10:35pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: In 2012 he was banished altogether from San Francisco and all contiguous municipalities adjacent thereunto (10:35pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: Since then he has been sighted several times wandering naked in the hills of Bolinas, eating grass and copulating cattle. His behavior has been ascribed to Mad Cow Disease, but that is only a rumor since he has escaped capture and testing. Authorities believe he is being sheltered by faithful fans. (10:36pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: by faithful fans. (10:36pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: Dr Hal has revealed for the first time the inner structure and function of The Show in all its splendorous intricacy -- and its uncritical arrogance, dissolved in a post-modern goulash of gibberish and puffery (10:36pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: a ghoulish verisimilitude that gives compelling power to his factitious fictions, all the while indiscretely exposed by the speculum of his medical curiosity. He promises closure, and indeed provides it painlessly by liberal applications of super-glue and opiated vinegar. (10:37pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: His art forms champion the weak (women), defeated (American Indians), repellent (homosexuals) or otherwise inferior groups groping for attention. Still, he fails to reach the hardcore hippy holdouts who alone know the true secret. (10:37pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: This failure to commune may explain his professed politics as softcore leftist denialism with distinctly masochistic predilections, and overtones of "Austrian" economics. (10:38pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: Such pretentious posturing invites verbal and police abuse that inevitably overcompensates for an unperceivable preconception of deficit. (10:38pm)
A B: Go on, I am following you carefully. (10:38pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: Hypothetical self-evaluated empowerment, when tested in vivo versus Dr Hal, has proven woefully inadequate as a surrogate for alternative explanations of his phenomenal maifestations. (10:38pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: ooops ... My physique is naked ! I am sooo embare-asssed ... Please hold for a moment whilst i put some panties upon my buttocks and mons veneris ... ahhh ... ok ... all better now ... you were saying ? (10:39pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: I said : when you phase-conjugate your mind, then will be now (10:40pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: repetez, s'il vous plait (10:41pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: dear doctor animal -- My 2-year-old pupppy "Poopsy" doesnt bark -- she only says "Meow".And she hates kibble, and she hunts mice. Is something "wrong' with her ? I am seriously considering castrating the stupit critter. (10:41pm)
Hermes Googoolmegistus: can I get a second opinion ? Somebody help me, please (10:42pm)
Aunt Bertha: Dear Sirs or Madams : I , Aunt Bertha, do herewith & hereby Bequeth and Vouchsafe unto You, mine own original Virginity. It has been used, butt once. May it serve You as well in protecting your precious Vagina, if only by diverting unwanted Attention to other Orifices. It worked thus and so for me, despite my many and repeated efforts and attempts to consummate a concupiscient conclusion to my genomic agenda. Alas & alack, my Fate has been, to have no such Destiny... No progeny to perpetuate my aminos in conjunctive combinations with another gender of our mutual Species... Bye bye now... Signed Aunt Bertha (10:44pm)
Aunt Bertha: and so for me, despite my many and repeated efforts and attempts to consummate a concupiscient conclusion to my genomic agenda. Alas & alack, my Fate has been, to have no such Destiny... No progeny to perpetuate my aminos in conjunctive combinations with another gender of our mutual Species... (10:44pm)
Aunt Bertha: Remember Folks , Only Monsanto Can Save The Babies ! (10:45pm)
Benny Netanyahoo: I have a statuette of the Show on my fireplace mantle. I offer Blood Sacrifices to it every day. I hieroglyphicalistally ask of Thee, O Blessed Show, " Bread, Beer, and Beef " and " More Money " ! In the Bowels of Isis, I beseech thee, O Show : Grant this Boon unto me, your humble Listener ! I thank you in advance. Signed, Benny (10:45pm)
Puddling Effulgence: THIS SHOW PRODUCT IS PROVIDED "AS IS" WITHOUT ANY WARRANTY OF ANY KIND, EITHER EXPRESS OR IMPLIED. WITHOUT LIMITATION, TO THE FULLEST EXTENT ALLOWABLE BY LAW, END USER ASSUMES THE ENTIRE RISK AS TO THE QUALITY OF THE PERFORMANCE. (10:47pm)
Charley Magne: Mon cher monsieur ou madam -- Une day soon, the Merovingian Dynasty will rise again ! And then, everyone will speak French ! (10:51pm)
Charley Magne: even you boujois ninnies (10:51pm)
Clockwork Pink: I am Time Traveler from Past . I am Now to tell You : Stop The Show ! Stop The Show ! Stop The Show ! Please please. You are about to become an awful Monster that will eat all radio frequencies as food and pleasure. (10:53pm)
Trayvon: Hi, it's me, Trayvon Martin.... I just want to tell you all, I really enjoy being dead. Now I don't have to go through the rest of a lousy incarnation as a stupit punk with shit for brains & "culture", listening to my ugly-ass momma and low-life "friends" squawk jive bullshit. What a relief ! Thank you, Mr Zimmerman ! (10:54pm)
Trayvon: Thank you Mr Zimmerman (10:54pm)
G Zimmerman: You're very welcome (10:56pm)
Dr. Penny: Dr. Goldie is a good fix. (10:59pm)
A B: Zounds, fell asleep again. (11:06pm)
Alex G Bell: answer the phone please (11:07pm)
A B: And down goes the teleponic heckler. (11:10pm)
A B: Stand your ground against Dwarves! (11:16pm)
Officer Down: I've fallen and I can't get it up. Somebody help me, please (11:17pm)
Dr. Penny: The Goldies having a golden moment of making out. (11:33pm)
vj pussycat: did you get her a fedora? (11:51pm)
Dr. Penny: You can take one home at the end of the Haunted Mansion ride. (12:32am)
A B: Best show I ever slept through. (12:52am)
