starring Dr. Hal !
A MATTER OF TIMING
February 27, 2015 10:00pm
The Treasures of Time lie High, in Urns, Coins, and Monuments, scarce below the
Roots of some Vegetables. Time hath endless Rarities, and shows of all varieties; which
reveals old things in Heaven, makes new Discoveries in Earth, and even Earth itself a
Discovery.
A night chewing the fat, as they say. Kicking the old ball around. A nice, long chin-
wag. With KrOB, the sole studio guest.
Rival Oddcast Nose Hair Lint Gland's own Karen Carpenter kept attempting to disrupt
the flow with a barrage of phoned-in questions, effortlessly fielded by Dr. Howll.
Samples of Ask Dr. Hal! shows from far-off places and times, from earlier cycles, invade
the Noosphere.
Also featuring the poetry of Dylan Thomas. Music of Yokota Susumu, from Symbol,
the Reverend Baby Bear and other proven sources. Excerpts from Negativland's new
album It's All in Your Head. We quote extensively from DJ Female Convict Scorpion's Bill
Cosby Talks to Kids About Drugs. And then there's that live, a capella rendition of the
re-worked lyrics from Hanna-Barbera's The Tom and Jerry Show...
Three irreplaceable hours of your life that you will never, ever get back.
Chatroom History
February 27, 2015 10:00pm - 1:30am
Dr. Penny: Praise the sweet name of "Bob". (10:41pm)
Errrrr-rrrl: Sweet? Sweet? No, no, "Bob" has a name as sour as the sourest persimmon. It's "sour" so as to be understood. Yes. It is certain. (10:44pm)
Dr. Penny: Oh yes, and fuck "Bob". (10:46pm)
Errrrr-rrrl: Precisely. Fucker. (10:47pm)
Dr. Penny: Fuck'r harder. (10:47pm)
Errrrr-rrrl: His is no sweet-thang prison bitch... he is only sweet when he wishes to be... (10:48pm)
Dr. Penny: Sweet fuckin'. (10:49pm)
Errrrr-rrrl: Like the sweet girl in the dress picking that daisy as the countdown to nuclear detenation rings out in the background... (10:49pm)
Errrrr-rrrl: Yet, little do they know... if "Bob" chooses then, yes, that daisy stem is the wire, itself, which may disconnect the fuse switch which leads to our destruction... or NOT. (10:51pm)
Errrrr-rrrl: It.. uh... all depends. (10:53pm)
Dr. Penny: Poppies! Poppies! Poppies! (10:53pm)
Dr. Penny: Slack can allow any which way. (10:54pm)
Errrrr-rrrl: Oh, sure, all of this might provide more "yucks" than your bar Mitzvah.., (10:55pm)
Errrrr-rrrl: or her bat Mitzvah.. (10:56pm)
Sesame Street alien: And the worst part of this downer is that you're in a room with Bill Cosby. (10:56pm)
Errrrr-rrrl: or that Catechism, SUnday School, est seminar... (10:57pm)
Errrrr-rrrl: Sure "Bob" might make you think, for a time, that it's all a big JOKE... (10:58pm)
Errrrr-rrrl: sure, sure, sure sure, SURE (10:59pm)
Alan B.: Hee hee hee, Earl, not too many of us remember that LBJ commercial anymore. (11:08pm)
Alan B.: AND DON'T MENTION THAT FUCKING DRESS. Thanks. (11:11pm)
Errrrr-rrrl: We've no need to remember it, I suppose, provided we're prepared to live it. However, then it becomes a lot of Hots-On-For-Nowhere, everyone addicted to the cynically hip "End Times Porn" Rev. Stang warns us about. (11:12pm)
Alan B.: I say live it, or live with it. (11:12pm)
Errrrr-rrrl: The Middle Way is the hardest and most rewarding. The string must be tight enough but no tighter to strike the correct note. (11:13pm)
Alan B.: Just the right amount of Slack. (11:13pm)
Errrrr-rrrl: Therefore -- be not overly cynical. Be hopeful and comforted. He/She/It who has ears to hear, let He/She/It kisten. (11:14pm)
Dr. Penny: Perfectly balanced on the slack wave. (11:19pm)
Alan B.: I love the Banana Splits. My grandma sent us the promotional bowls and cups when we were wee. (11:20pm)
Alan B.: Gentlemen. (11:21pm)
Alan B.: Danger Island!? (11:21pm)
Errrr-rrrrl: It's some of that Hannah Barbara Santa Barbara stuff KrOB thankfully plays. (11:22pm)
Alan B.: So much beefcake in the studio. (11:23pm)
Errrr-rrrrl: A Hanyah Nagilah Cartoon Production (11:23pm)
Alan B.: For having COPD, he was doing good to make it to 83. (11:23pm)
Alan B.: So everybody, quit smoking everything but (11:24pm)
Alan B.: 'frop. (11:24pm)
Alan B.: Hal, I got paid, the dosh is in the post. (11:25pm)
Alan B.: Karen Carpenter was attracted by all the beefcake, calls for a reachover. (11:25pm)
Errrr-rrrrl: Who? (11:25pm)
Alan B.: I know, right? I mean Pete Goldie. (11:26pm)
Errrr-rrrrl: They aren't blasting him into space, he needs to be buried quickly. (11:27pm)
Errrr-rrrrl: I mean Sir Nimoy. (11:27pm)
Alan B.: Houston, this is Tranquility Base . . . I can't believe that we are on fucking Vulcan. (11:28pm)
Alan B.: Sir Nimoy was pretty observant. He does need to be interred post haste. (11:28pm)
Alan B.: 30 day delay. (11:29pm)
Alan B.: 30 day notice. (11:29pm)
Alan B.: Okay, Hal, I'm paying the dosh directly to RV NOW. (11:29pm)
Errrr-rrrrl: I'll let them talk and stop typing. This box is usually only acknowledged On the Air for its complaints. But YEAH, send something fo this precious, entirely indispensible internet broadcast. Send it in. C'mon. (11:32pm)
Alan B.: Doing it now. (11:33pm)
Alan B.: And done. The farm is saved. (11:34pm)
Errrr-rrrrl: Yeah, everyone reading these words, send. Send it. Send. Send it on. Who ELSE can do an audio efffort like this one? (11:34pm)
Errrr-rrrrl: And very often in stereophonic sound. (11:39pm)
Alan B.: We need to just get some Hadrons up there, stat! (11:40pm)
Alan B.: Can we use Folger's Crystals, if we can't find Dilithium? (11:40pm)
Alan B.: WHY can't you START making PROGRAMMING SENSE?! (11:43pm)
Alan B.: Hot Velma: http://bit.ly/1E1Bq6j (11:45pm)
Dr. Penny: Sounds like they've already got hadrons. Folgers is for 3am. (11:45pm)
Alan B.: Dr. H.A.L. signs off on Space Jam?! (11:45pm)
Dr. Penny: Luscious. (11:46pm)
Dr. Penny: They believed that they could fly. (11:47pm)
Dr. Penny: More amusing is the man in the background with the cigarette. (11:48pm)
Karen Carpenter: want:http://bit.ly/1E1BPp3 (11:49pm)
Food.:::: Now speak about me. (11:50pm)
Alan B.: Hipster analog chic. (11:50pm)
Drink.::::: And leave me not out... (11:50pm)
Dr. Penny: He's turning the corner with his feet, maybe a pass around his neck, at a comic con, out for a fag. (11:50pm)
Dr. Penny: His watch is not the one Pete wants. (11:52pm)
Lawyer Penny: Yes, he wants the 0400 to 0800 watch (11:53pm)
Alan B.: I am Spock's Dad. (11:54pm)
So: , fly Dock's Spad. (11:56pm)
Alan B.: Hal, check yer mail. (11:59pm)
Alan B.: IBM and the Holocaust http://bit.ly/1E1CFlX (12:00am)
The Night People: So? (12:01am)
Alan B.: SPACE JEWS (12:02am)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/1E1CU0k -- Space Jews (12:02am)
Or: Cosmic Tribe (12:03am)
Oreders: Take your leisure at Tao Ying (12:03am)
Alan B.: Meesa love ask Dr. H.A.L.! http://bit.ly/1zNvjh1 (12:03am)
Alan B.: Start Trek Bible -- got it. (12:04am)
Alan B.: Start Drek (12:04am)
Alan B.: SEE! Jews in space! http://bit.ly/1zNvoB4 (12:05am)
Dr. Penny: Star Drax (12:05am)
Alan B.: Peak is about an hour into the show when the tracers start and you need trip toys. (12:11am)
Alan B.: Ask Dr. Hack. (12:17am)
Karen Carpenter: KrOb is as yakkity yak as Dr Hal (12:21am)
Alan B.: He is loquatious as hell, yes. (12:22am)
Alan B.: loquacious (12:22am)
Alan B.: That's not how I orgasm, just saying. (12:23am)
Moon Men: Leave Us Be! (12:24am)
Alan B.: That song was awesome (12:33am)
Alan B.: My old man told me it means: Loose Straps Mean Floppy Titis (12:37am)
Malbourough Man : L.et's S.top M.y F.ingers T.ired (12:37am)
Alan B.: approved. (12:38am)
Glass Smoking Tube: I'm hiding...heee heeee hheee heee (12:38am)
Cigarette Smoking Man: I'm alive . . . with pleasure! (12:39am)
nexus006: I live about 50 minutes south of you guys and yes we do wave to each other. (12:39am)
Lass Cloaking Booth Troll: So? (12:40am)
Alan B.: I've got a TRAIN to catch! (12:40am)
Dr. Penny: When the light is green, the trap is clean. (12:45am)
The Phone Company: Love Us. (12:47am)
Alan B.: STOP HURTING LISTENER! (12:47am)
The Phone Company: And, We hate The Science Guy. (12:47am)
The Phone Company: It's Fresno. (12:48am)
Alan B.: Fuckin' Fernet (12:51am)
Alan B.: No fucking in the kitchen. (12:51am)
The Phone Company: It's Fernet. (12:51am)
The Phone Company: It's Freedom. (12:51am)
Alan B.: Belligerent caller is belligerent. (12:52am)
Karen Carpenter: "it's hip to nate on pete" (12:53am)
nexus006: What kind of watch is it? (12:53am)
Karen Carpenter: http://bit.ly/1E1BPp3 (12:53am)
Alan B.: That's the difference between a citizen and someone who just does his how. (12:54am)
Alan B.: show. (12:54am)
Alan B.: That's crazy, there is no icthyclaus. (12:54am)
Karen Carpenter: they can have more children (12:54am)
Alan B.: I bet that $12 watch is of the finest quality. (12:54am)
The Phone Company: What's the phone # there? (12:56am)
Alan B.: 415-962-7979 (12:56am)
Alan B.: Four minutes left to pledge your support for the ask Dr. H.A.L. show. Replicants standing by. (12:57am)
Puzzling Evidence: U Staying? (12:58am)
Alan B.: What the actual fuck? (12:58am)
Puzzling Evidence: U Calling In? (12:58am)
Puzzling Evidence: He? (12:58am)
Puzzling Evidence: U? (12:58am)
Alan B.: 12 hour Ask Senor H.A.L. marathon. (12:59am)
Puzzling Evidence: You can't keep a Hal happy... (12:59am)
Alan B.: Cuckold Cocoon Cock (1:00am)
Karen Carpenter: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz (1:00am)
Puzzling Evidence: I'll be right over, then... (1:01am)
Alan B.: NO SLEEP (1:01am)
Puzzling Evidence: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz (1:01am)
Karen Carpenter: oh, yah, I go to work kin 6 hours. (1:01am)
Alan B.: Why is he playing To Anacreon in Heaven. (1:01am)
Alan B.: ? (1:01am)
Puzzling Evidence: Means the parade is a third over, on a sultry Shenandoah Valley afternoon...... (1:01am)
Alan B.: And now, The Best of Robo DJ (1:02am)
Puzzling Evidence: Not so, Meat. (1:02am)
Karen Carpenter: RoboDJ on KrOB (1:02am)
Alan B.: Au revoir, mes amis. (1:07am)
Roots of some Vegetables. Time hath endless Rarities, and shows of all varieties; which
reveals old things in Heaven, makes new Discoveries in Earth, and even Earth itself a
Discovery.
A night chewing the fat, as they say. Kicking the old ball around. A nice, long chin-
wag. With KrOB, the sole studio guest.
Rival Oddcast Nose Hair Lint Gland's own Karen Carpenter kept attempting to disrupt
the flow with a barrage of phoned-in questions, effortlessly fielded by Dr. Howll.
Samples of Ask Dr. Hal! shows from far-off places and times, from earlier cycles, invade
the Noosphere.
Also featuring the poetry of Dylan Thomas. Music of Yokota Susumu, from Symbol,
the Reverend Baby Bear and other proven sources. Excerpts from Negativland's new
album It's All in Your Head. We quote extensively from DJ Female Convict Scorpion's Bill
Cosby Talks to Kids About Drugs. And then there's that live, a capella rendition of the
re-worked lyrics from Hanna-Barbera's The Tom and Jerry Show...
Three irreplaceable hours of your life that you will never, ever get back.
Chatroom History
February 27, 2015 10:00pm - 1:30am
Dr. Penny: Praise the sweet name of "Bob". (10:41pm)
Errrrr-rrrl: Sweet? Sweet? No, no, "Bob" has a name as sour as the sourest persimmon. It's "sour" so as to be understood. Yes. It is certain. (10:44pm)
Dr. Penny: Oh yes, and fuck "Bob". (10:46pm)
Errrrr-rrrl: Precisely. Fucker. (10:47pm)
Dr. Penny: Fuck'r harder. (10:47pm)
Errrrr-rrrl: His is no sweet-thang prison bitch... he is only sweet when he wishes to be... (10:48pm)
Dr. Penny: Sweet fuckin'. (10:49pm)
Errrrr-rrrl: Like the sweet girl in the dress picking that daisy as the countdown to nuclear detenation rings out in the background... (10:49pm)
Errrrr-rrrl: Yet, little do they know... if "Bob" chooses then, yes, that daisy stem is the wire, itself, which may disconnect the fuse switch which leads to our destruction... or NOT. (10:51pm)
Errrrr-rrrl: It.. uh... all depends. (10:53pm)
Dr. Penny: Poppies! Poppies! Poppies! (10:53pm)
Dr. Penny: Slack can allow any which way. (10:54pm)
Errrrr-rrrl: Oh, sure, all of this might provide more "yucks" than your bar Mitzvah.., (10:55pm)
Errrrr-rrrl: or her bat Mitzvah.. (10:56pm)
Sesame Street alien: And the worst part of this downer is that you're in a room with Bill Cosby. (10:56pm)
Errrrr-rrrl: or that Catechism, SUnday School, est seminar... (10:57pm)
Errrrr-rrrl: Sure "Bob" might make you think, for a time, that it's all a big JOKE... (10:58pm)
Errrrr-rrrl: sure, sure, sure sure, SURE (10:59pm)
Alan B.: Hee hee hee, Earl, not too many of us remember that LBJ commercial anymore. (11:08pm)
Alan B.: AND DON'T MENTION THAT FUCKING DRESS. Thanks. (11:11pm)
Errrrr-rrrl: We've no need to remember it, I suppose, provided we're prepared to live it. However, then it becomes a lot of Hots-On-For-Nowhere, everyone addicted to the cynically hip "End Times Porn" Rev. Stang warns us about. (11:12pm)
Alan B.: I say live it, or live with it. (11:12pm)
Errrrr-rrrl: The Middle Way is the hardest and most rewarding. The string must be tight enough but no tighter to strike the correct note. (11:13pm)
Alan B.: Just the right amount of Slack. (11:13pm)
Errrrr-rrrl: Therefore -- be not overly cynical. Be hopeful and comforted. He/She/It who has ears to hear, let He/She/It kisten. (11:14pm)
Dr. Penny: Perfectly balanced on the slack wave. (11:19pm)
Alan B.: I love the Banana Splits. My grandma sent us the promotional bowls and cups when we were wee. (11:20pm)
Alan B.: Gentlemen. (11:21pm)
Alan B.: Danger Island!? (11:21pm)
Errrr-rrrrl: It's some of that Hannah Barbara Santa Barbara stuff KrOB thankfully plays. (11:22pm)
Alan B.: So much beefcake in the studio. (11:23pm)
Errrr-rrrrl: A Hanyah Nagilah Cartoon Production (11:23pm)
Alan B.: For having COPD, he was doing good to make it to 83. (11:23pm)
Alan B.: So everybody, quit smoking everything but (11:24pm)
Alan B.: 'frop. (11:24pm)
Alan B.: Hal, I got paid, the dosh is in the post. (11:25pm)
Alan B.: Karen Carpenter was attracted by all the beefcake, calls for a reachover. (11:25pm)
Errrr-rrrrl: Who? (11:25pm)
Alan B.: I know, right? I mean Pete Goldie. (11:26pm)
Errrr-rrrrl: They aren't blasting him into space, he needs to be buried quickly. (11:27pm)
Errrr-rrrrl: I mean Sir Nimoy. (11:27pm)
Alan B.: Houston, this is Tranquility Base . . . I can't believe that we are on fucking Vulcan. (11:28pm)
Alan B.: Sir Nimoy was pretty observant. He does need to be interred post haste. (11:28pm)
Alan B.: 30 day delay. (11:29pm)
Alan B.: 30 day notice. (11:29pm)
Alan B.: Okay, Hal, I'm paying the dosh directly to RV NOW. (11:29pm)
Errrr-rrrrl: I'll let them talk and stop typing. This box is usually only acknowledged On the Air for its complaints. But YEAH, send something fo this precious, entirely indispensible internet broadcast. Send it in. C'mon. (11:32pm)
Alan B.: Doing it now. (11:33pm)
Alan B.: And done. The farm is saved. (11:34pm)
Errrr-rrrrl: Yeah, everyone reading these words, send. Send it. Send. Send it on. Who ELSE can do an audio efffort like this one? (11:34pm)
Errrr-rrrrl: And very often in stereophonic sound. (11:39pm)
Alan B.: We need to just get some Hadrons up there, stat! (11:40pm)
Alan B.: Can we use Folger's Crystals, if we can't find Dilithium? (11:40pm)
Alan B.: WHY can't you START making PROGRAMMING SENSE?! (11:43pm)
Alan B.: Hot Velma: http://bit.ly/1E1Bq6j (11:45pm)
Dr. Penny: Sounds like they've already got hadrons. Folgers is for 3am. (11:45pm)
Alan B.: Dr. H.A.L. signs off on Space Jam?! (11:45pm)
Dr. Penny: Luscious. (11:46pm)
Dr. Penny: They believed that they could fly. (11:47pm)
Dr. Penny: More amusing is the man in the background with the cigarette. (11:48pm)
Karen Carpenter: want:http://bit.ly/1E1BPp3 (11:49pm)
Food.:::: Now speak about me. (11:50pm)
Alan B.: Hipster analog chic. (11:50pm)
Drink.::::: And leave me not out... (11:50pm)
Dr. Penny: He's turning the corner with his feet, maybe a pass around his neck, at a comic con, out for a fag. (11:50pm)
Dr. Penny: His watch is not the one Pete wants. (11:52pm)
Lawyer Penny: Yes, he wants the 0400 to 0800 watch (11:53pm)
Alan B.: I am Spock's Dad. (11:54pm)
So: , fly Dock's Spad. (11:56pm)
Alan B.: Hal, check yer mail. (11:59pm)
Alan B.: IBM and the Holocaust http://bit.ly/1E1CFlX (12:00am)
The Night People: So? (12:01am)
Alan B.: SPACE JEWS (12:02am)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/1E1CU0k -- Space Jews (12:02am)
Or: Cosmic Tribe (12:03am)
Oreders: Take your leisure at Tao Ying (12:03am)
Alan B.: Meesa love ask Dr. H.A.L.! http://bit.ly/1zNvjh1 (12:03am)
Alan B.: Start Trek Bible -- got it. (12:04am)
Alan B.: Start Drek (12:04am)
Alan B.: SEE! Jews in space! http://bit.ly/1zNvoB4 (12:05am)
Dr. Penny: Star Drax (12:05am)
Alan B.: Peak is about an hour into the show when the tracers start and you need trip toys. (12:11am)
Alan B.: Ask Dr. Hack. (12:17am)
Karen Carpenter: KrOb is as yakkity yak as Dr Hal (12:21am)
Alan B.: He is loquatious as hell, yes. (12:22am)
Alan B.: loquacious (12:22am)
Alan B.: That's not how I orgasm, just saying. (12:23am)
Moon Men: Leave Us Be! (12:24am)
Alan B.: That song was awesome (12:33am)
Alan B.: My old man told me it means: Loose Straps Mean Floppy Titis (12:37am)
Malbourough Man : L.et's S.top M.y F.ingers T.ired (12:37am)
Alan B.: approved. (12:38am)
Glass Smoking Tube: I'm hiding...heee heeee hheee heee (12:38am)
Cigarette Smoking Man: I'm alive . . . with pleasure! (12:39am)
nexus006: I live about 50 minutes south of you guys and yes we do wave to each other. (12:39am)
Lass Cloaking Booth Troll: So? (12:40am)
Alan B.: I've got a TRAIN to catch! (12:40am)
Dr. Penny: When the light is green, the trap is clean. (12:45am)
The Phone Company: Love Us. (12:47am)
Alan B.: STOP HURTING LISTENER! (12:47am)
The Phone Company: And, We hate The Science Guy. (12:47am)
The Phone Company: It's Fresno. (12:48am)
Alan B.: Fuckin' Fernet (12:51am)
Alan B.: No fucking in the kitchen. (12:51am)
The Phone Company: It's Fernet. (12:51am)
The Phone Company: It's Freedom. (12:51am)
Alan B.: Belligerent caller is belligerent. (12:52am)
Karen Carpenter: "it's hip to nate on pete" (12:53am)
nexus006: What kind of watch is it? (12:53am)
Karen Carpenter: http://bit.ly/1E1BPp3 (12:53am)
Alan B.: That's the difference between a citizen and someone who just does his how. (12:54am)
Alan B.: show. (12:54am)
Alan B.: That's crazy, there is no icthyclaus. (12:54am)
Karen Carpenter: they can have more children (12:54am)
Alan B.: I bet that $12 watch is of the finest quality. (12:54am)
The Phone Company: What's the phone # there? (12:56am)
Alan B.: 415-962-7979 (12:56am)
Alan B.: Four minutes left to pledge your support for the ask Dr. H.A.L. show. Replicants standing by. (12:57am)
Puzzling Evidence: U Staying? (12:58am)
Alan B.: What the actual fuck? (12:58am)
Puzzling Evidence: U Calling In? (12:58am)
Puzzling Evidence: He? (12:58am)
Puzzling Evidence: U? (12:58am)
Alan B.: 12 hour Ask Senor H.A.L. marathon. (12:59am)
Puzzling Evidence: You can't keep a Hal happy... (12:59am)
Alan B.: Cuckold Cocoon Cock (1:00am)
Karen Carpenter: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz (1:00am)
Puzzling Evidence: I'll be right over, then... (1:01am)
Alan B.: NO SLEEP (1:01am)
Puzzling Evidence: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz (1:01am)
Karen Carpenter: oh, yah, I go to work kin 6 hours. (1:01am)
Alan B.: Why is he playing To Anacreon in Heaven. (1:01am)
Alan B.: ? (1:01am)
Puzzling Evidence: Means the parade is a third over, on a sultry Shenandoah Valley afternoon...... (1:01am)
Alan B.: And now, The Best of Robo DJ (1:02am)
Puzzling Evidence: Not so, Meat. (1:02am)
Karen Carpenter: RoboDJ on KrOB (1:02am)
Alan B.: Au revoir, mes amis. (1:07am)
