In this episode, the show turns turtle as mythical kingdoms come to the fore, with a consideration of imports and exports, tariffs, protectionism and travel tips. No tortoises were harmed during the making of this broadcast; all depicted terrapin activity was supervised by armed, accredited Testudinologists from the so-called Tortoise-Shell Institute of Terra Nova, California. The Church of the SubGenius and "Old Sequaw" are registered trade marks and all rights are reserved in perpetuity by the Fortress of Stangor, Inc. Note: Native American shamans may not completely endorse the SubGenius annual rite of "Bobtism."

Symbolically, the subjects brought up represent a great and final battle, ultimately foretold to result in the overthrow of a number of major figures: Stang, Chicken John, G'Boag 'Fram, Dr. Hal, Puzzling Evidence, the Dalai Lama, KrOB and Francis E. Dec. The tradition speaks of the occurrence of various natural and man-made disasters, the rising from the depths of Old Sequaw and the subsequent submersion of the world in water. Afterward, the land will resurface anew and agatn be fertile, the surviving and returning radio gods will meet, and the world will be repopulated by two dull-witted human listeners, the only survivors.
Topics on the Ask Dr. Hal! radio show are often the subject of vigorous scholarly discourse and theory.

Chatroom History
February 22, 2013 10:00pm - 1:30am

Dr. Penny: You're coming in loud and clear Dr. Hal!!!!! :) (10:01pm)
e_yazel: wow, whadda party (10:25pm)
e_yazel: I'm not so "little"... (10:30pm)
e_yazel: not so very, anyhow (10:31pm)
e_yazel: I have no "hose problem"... what is this On AIr insinuation? (10:34pm)
e_yazel: Now they talk of Space Ghost Cheese (10:35pm)
malderor: what absolute twaddle. (10:35pm)
e_yazel: I guess Numbers Station Signallers are literally Radio Ghosts (10:39pm)
Audience: These guys are so full of theyselves (10:44pm)
Audience: Old Blah Blah (10:44pm)
Audience: Old rules for old guys... (10:45pm)
e_yazel: what has Roth got? (10:49pm)
e_yazel: The Human Stain by Philip Roth (10:52pm)
e_yazel: It's a great story! (10:54pm)
e_yazel: Love Story by Erich Segal (10:56pm)
e_yazel: Jonathan Livingston Segal (10:56pm)
Philo: You guys suck! Who's that new asshole? (10:57pm)
Philo: Those guys sound ancient! (10:58pm)
e_yazel: The Poseidon Adventure by Paul Gallico (10:58pm)
e_yazel: Airport by Arthur Haley (10:59pm)
Philo: Whut has God Rot? (11:00pm)
e_yazel: Oh, we like it, well enough. (11:01pm)
Philo: Nudist Hootie and Blowfish (11:01pm)
e_yazel: Chariots of the Gods by Erich Von Daniken (11:03pm)
e_yazel: Future Shock by Alvin Toffiefay and the Chipmunks (11:04pm)
e_yazel: Ancient Evenings by Normal Mailer (11:06pm)
e_yazel: Gore Vidal Sasooon's Kalki (11:07pm)
e_yazel: Once is Not Even Enough by Jacqueline "Jacko" Susann (11:09pm)
e_yazel: Sex and Yer Single Girl by Helen "Girlie" Brown (11:09pm)
Audience: they tooooooold for sex, them boys (11:13pm)
e_yazel: The Enormous Member : a Nancy Drew Mysteryby (11:15pm)
e_yazel: by Carolyn Keene (11:15pm)
e_yazel: The Battle of the Sexes by Billie Jean King and Bobby Riggs (11:18pm)
Audience: See? Nudes of G.W.BushMember (11:20pm)
Bruno: Sure is. (11:21pm)
e_yazel: Helter Johnson by Vincent BugmeoutSee? (11:21pm)
Bruno: No (11:21pm)
Bruno: Fuck Gerlach (11:21pm)
e_yazel: Fantastic Voyage adaaaaapted by Isaac Asimov (11:23pm)
e_yazel: Kansas City Bozombas by Raquel Welch (11:24pm)
e_yazel: Tom "He's Welsh" Jones by Henry F***ing Fielding (11:26pm)
The Jet People: He just jumped around?! (11:28pm)
The Jet People: NHLG #3 (11:29pm)
e_yazel: The Writing's On That Wall by Wally Ballou (11:29pm)
Hugo Danner: Knock it off. (11:31pm)
e_yazel: Hollywood Babylon by Kenneth Miffed (11:31pm)
Hugo Danner: I'm still hrererere (11:31pm)
e_yazel: No, no, you knock it off (11:31pm)
Hugo Danner: I'm at Bruno's (11:31pm)
Hugo Danner: meet me anf fite (11:31pm)
e_yazel: fine fine fine (11:32pm)
e_yazel: Brno Who??? (11:32pm)
Hugo Danner: Bruno's the only place to rock (11:32pm)
e_yazel: Bruno Bruno. (11:33pm)
M Peppe: 12 pizzas for the crew!! (11:34pm)
Philo: We're starving ourselves for our art and the children (11:35pm)
e_yazel: The Return of Bruno by Bruce Willis (11:35pm)
Philo: I will find sustenance (11:38pm)
e_yazel: R"my telephone is a Space Station!!!" (11:38pm)
Philo: Must eat!! (11:38pm)
e_yazel: "My library is a sewing room!" (11:39pm)
e_yazel: Eat life!!! Life! (11:39pm)
Philo: Candy shoe glhn (11:40pm)
e_yazel: "my kitchen is an art gallery!" (11:41pm)
e_yazel: The Disorderly Orderly Wins Best Picture of 1966 Oscar (11:43pm)
e_yazel: The Small Hadron Collider, the AVergae-sized Hadrian Collidor (11:51pm)
e_yazel: The SMall or Average Hadrian's Steed Collidor (11:51pm)
Philo: Success!!!! (11:52pm)
e_yazel: i'm too busy listening to this damned show, I should be editing and fact-checking (11:52pm)
e_yazel: All American women roll their eyes, now. AT everything. Don't be offended. (11:54pm)
e_yazel: I know it's weird, mixed medium, don't even lookhere. (11:56pm)
e_yazel: "The Boss"... sings Born to Run and other hits (11:57pm)
e_yazel: U2's Bono sings "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Singing For" (12:00am)
e_yazel: everything/everyone DO look for further Harry S robins writings THIS WEEKEND on rawstory.com at Culture Clutch (12:02am)
Grand Theft County: Neg'land (12:02am)
e_yazel: Robins, that is.. you know.. Dr. Hal.. okay! okay okay!!!!!! (12:03am)
Grand Theft Conty: singing "what ever I was looking for haven't found (12:06am)
Dr. Penny: The Pope-mobile has taken off (12:18am)
Philo: Ass dr How? (12:20am)
Philo: You can't drink on the radio (12:24am)
Prazak: Thanks Hal (12:54am)
Prazak: and Philo Drumhead (12:54am)
Play 4 Today: robo dj not sending to board (1:14am)