THIS PODCAST, FROM JANUARY 19th of this year, was the first we managed after successfully entering the building according to what were the previously un-surmounted electronic protocols. We prevailed! But, now... Ah, well a-day! There is no getting in; had we any hopes of later ingress we would add to these replays as we had intended, coming to the Building immediately following the Live Show, the Friday night performance of ASK DR. HAL! now running, still, at the Chez Poulet Gallery-Cabaret down on Cesar Chavez. Such was the plan-- but the tendency of systems to elaborate upon themselves on their own has, through gradual degrees, erected an impenetrable barrier to our passage. The live ASK DR. HAL! will run for one final Friday night; then we must, only then we can-- hustle to tussle with the Kisi App and all its pestilential proliferating gremlins. During the run of a live show such combat exceeds our reach, we're here to tell you. Well, folks, we've been selling out the live show. If you're going, get your tickets now. This won't happen again for another year. And, confidentially, it'll NEVER play at CHEZ POULET AGAIN. You read it here first. And, in May, somehow, in the later Spring, we will prevail against the Dragon. Somehow...

THE LIVE SHOW CONTINUES, but we've had terrible luck in getting in after that's over to do a little live podcasting as planned. Can't get into the building, the Kisi App does not work for some reason. We hope to fix it when the run ends this month. Please have faith-- we'll be back!

ORIGINALLY PODCAST February 16th of this year, this is a re-run of Episode #29099. The live show of Ask Dr. Hal! began on the 6th and took place during the show's podcast hours. There are three more of these live shows remaining at Chicken John's famed Chez Poulet Gallery-Cabaret, located on Cesar Chavez near Mission. Showtime is 9:00 PM. It was our intention to put these re-runs in place while the live shows were happening, and then travel, after the end of the performance, to Radio Valencia, and there provide new material, which would then be experienced by the listener after a few hours of the re-run. This time, however, after-hours podcasting happened instead on Pete Goldie's Reloadio. We will try to follow through and join the in-progress re-run next time on Friday, April 13th, if luck holds...

NO GUESTS appeared as special archival material was presented and mixed anew. Prefigured: The Saint Stupid's Day Parade, with ruminations by Bishop Joey Himself. Clark Ashton Smith and Italo Calvino (as performed by Dr. H. Owll to Doc Fiasco's Sound Mix) bracket the presentation. Three and a half hours, or thereabouts. The live Ask Dr. Hal! Show is on the way; re-runs will appear, ideally to be super-ceded at their ends by post-performance roistering.

FIVE HOURS. Can you take it? Starting with the standard show and recitations (Charles Kingsley's "The Sands o' Dee," Tennessee Williams's "How Tranquilly the Olive Branch" and so forth), the arrival of Puzzling Evidence (silent throughout the show) and Michael Peppe (voluble throughout) sets the whole megilla in magnum motion. And we have some talk about the Undead, e.g. Vampires... Oh, we tread again over pre-treaded ground-- some of that is inevitable with this format-- but, just as inevitably, the birth-cry of newly whelped synthesis is heard, at first faintly and then at deafening volume, especially as Peppe strives once again to manage the more than formidable task of Reading the Chatterbox...

THE ORIGINAL MEMPHIS, that is. The ancient capital of Aneb-Hetch, in Lower Egypt, whose ruins are located near the town of Mit Rahina, 12 miles south of present-day Giza. Before the rise of Alexandria, the city, at the mouth of the Nile Delta, was the Capital of Egypt during the Old Kingdom, under the protection of the god Ptah, the patron of craftsmen. Its great temple, Hut-ka-Ptah (meaning "Enclosure of the ka of Ptah"), was one of the most prominent structures in the city, back (way, way back) in the day. Now, the name of this temple, rendered in Greek as Ai-gy-ptos by the historian Manetho, is actually believed to be the etymological origin of the modern English name, Egypt. And we're here to tell you this belief is correct. Yes, Dr. H. Owll and Puzzling Evidence time-trip together under the Double Diadem of Mighty Egypt, until OUR time runs out-- near the three-hour mark. No Michael Peppe, unfortunately. Before that, we follow The Last Oblivion, by Clark Ashton Smith, with a more spotty recitation, about 95% worth-- maybe a little more, of John Milton's Il Penseroso, first found in the 1645/1646 Quarto volume of verses, THE POEMS OF MR. JOHN MILTON, Both English and Latin, published by Humphrey Moseley. The Ghost of Dr. Penny smooths down the edges of the rough spots. Don't miss the upcoming, onrushing LIVE night club show, the Ask Dr. Hal! Show, in April at the famed Chez Poulet Gallery-Cabaret, otherwise known as Chicken John's Warehouse. It's on Fridays, meaning a month of re-runs (until WE get there after the show, if we can, and take over...)

SURPRISE GUEST DR. PENNY, fresh from proselytizing on behalf of the Church in other locales, returns to Radio Valencia. Also present: Puzzling Evidence. Not, however, Michael Peppe this time, though we shall have more of him anon. The alarm went off in the building again. Questions from far-flung fans. Poetry, pedantry. Listed as five hours, though realistically more like four and a half. The Live Show is coming soon!

INTRODUCTORY poems. Archival material from a remote period. Puzzling Evidence and Peppe arrive. Animated cartoons of the past. Clampett's Daffy the best. A Generation generated Animation. Sir Thomas Browne gave evidence at a witchcraft trial. His *Pseudodoxica Epidemica.* G. K. Chesterton's *The Celestial Omnibus.* Commentary on the political landscape. Puzzling pipes in his own music track. Peppe reads the Chatterbox. The alarm in the building goes off. It all goes for five and a half hours.

THE RIGHT REVEREND DOKTOR MOTHER MILLER was in town, and joined Dr. H.Owll on the Podcast. Some of these sessions approach the provision of needed catharsis-- WE are improved by them, though others may be more indifferent. In this virtuous Voyage let not disappointment cause Despondency, nor difficulty Despair: think not that you are sailing from Lima to Manillia, wherein thou may'st tye up the Rudder, and sleep before the Wind; but expect rough Seas, Flaws and contrary Blasts; and 'tis well if by many cross Tacks and Veerings thou arrivest at thy Port. Sit not down in the popular Seats and common Level of Virtues, but endeavour to make them Heroical. Anyhow, later Puzzling Evidence, Michael Peppe and even KrOB were here, or at least near... Here's the download on the down-low from our abode. Five irreplaceable hours.

IN THE UNDISCOVERED COUNTRY of Kennaquhair, whose latitude is 91 degrees north and longitude 181 degrees west, Archimedes the owl, familiar spirit of Merlin, brings the future King Arthur, a boy also transformed into an owl, to the presence of the goddess Athene. There, in the luminous hollow of a tree stump blasted by lightning and whittled clean by the winds of knowledge, the birds alight on the outstretched hands of the invisible goddess. They are shown, through accelerated Time, first the lives of the trees at a rate of thirty years in a minute, then the lives of the rocks at two million years a second. We also feature the poetry of Clark Ashton Smith and W.S. Merwin. Puzzling Evidence appears; we watch and narrate FRANKENSTEIN MEETS THE SPACE MONSTER. It is not a happy meeting. The alarm goes off in the building and the police come, but don't enter the studio.

THE AUTOMATED DOORS were off on another self-examination jag when we approached the perimeter. The CPU, or central ganglion of the building, was occupied mentally with private concerns. So the alarm was triggered-- by correct safety procedures observed, not breached. It took about five minutes for the processing brain to rise from its private deep ruminations and catch on. Then the correction was made and the jangling of the alarm was replaced by blessed silence. The Police never came, fortunately. Nor, less so, did any visitor or promised guest. But, what the hell? This thing practically flies itself. Three cobbled-together hours.

SPECULATION on the legends of prehistoric faunal survival in recent times, yes, that's in there, and different ways of rendering one's self invisible. The poetry of Dylan Thomas comes and goes. And guests also come; KrOB, Spy, Orrin, Puzzling Evidence and even Michael Peppe pay a call. The newly acquired electronics actually did open the outer door, by George! --and the portal rolled open. Perhaps a new era beckons after all. The progressive scientific views of British paleontologist Horace Terrence Bromley (1845-1912) receive credit on the program. Archival material includes the mating rituals of slugs. A little after the half hour past 2:00 AM the podcast concludes (the rest of the download provided by RV;s own beloved Robo DJ). Perhaps--- who can say? --our next time will feature the widely anticipated narration presentation of FRANKENSTEIN MEETS THE SPACE MONSTER.

THE BAT, THAT FLITS at Close of Eve, Has left the Brain that won't Believe. --Wm. Blake. Yea, our fourth Show in the New Studio, this time with guests... First, after initial pedantry and poetry (Dylan Thomas), we bring on Rusty Rebar, the poet and self-styled "all-gay rodeo clown," with ambrosial poet Sugar, creator of sweet poetic confections. After recitations, we bring on another guest, KPFA's and RV's own Puzzling Evidence. We hear there's some kid out there on the radio calling himself Puzzling Evidence. Don't believe it! This one's the genuine article, about whom the David Byrne song was written, in fact. "Puzzo" and Dr, H. Owll chew the metaphorical fat for awhile, Rebar and Sugar make their adieus-- then we segue to a narrated movie on-show, reconstituting the Ask Dr. Hal! tradition. This is THE RETURN OF DRACULA, a most interesting entry... Discussion of the associated powers of Vampirism comes into it naturally, naturlich. This 1958 film features sinister Francis Lederer as Dracula. The female lead, Rachel, is played by blonde, English-accented Norma Eberhardt. It's elegantly filmed in black-and-white (though there is an unsettling color shot, only seconds long, of red blood fountaining when the vampire hunters drive a stake into the Undead former poor little blind girl Jennie Blake [Virginia Vincent] an unpleasant surprise for the viewer). Back in the day, this was released on a double bill with THE FLAME BARRIER. Real exterior locations are used for the setting of Carleton, California, though the familiar Bronson Canyon Cave, Ro-Man's hang-out, is also employed. All this takes us an extra hour, and we put off the pleasure of narrating FRANKENSTEIN MEETS THE SPACE MONSTER to another show.
When shown on American television, this picture was titled CURSE OF DRACULA. In the UK it was released theatrically as THE FANTASTIC DISAPPEARING MAN. The picture, Vampirically Correct in most significant details, had the misfortune to come out the very same year that the great Christopher Lee single-handedly re-started the horror cycle with his dynamic portrayal of the Undead Count in THE HORROR OF DRACULA (U.S. title). But it has a certain integrity, as we discovered... Three hours, 59 minutes and 59 seconds of this. Yes, we played the Anthem, but you won't hear it.

POETRY AND THEOLOGY pricked us on. No guest shared the new Studio, solely occupied. In the three hours, Dylan Thomas and Negativland added thought to the topic. And it seemed we began to register, even though minutely, on the graph; tremors of interest detected by our subtle and far-reaching equipment, were certified on the home screen. So minor the ripple, but the ultimate consequence as it expends itself remains unknown. The voices in your head are real and require your attention.

PAST WARDS AND LOCKS, past gates and metal doors, Past stairs and hallways and past lower floors, Past passwords, codes and algorithms wound The simple business of arrival round, Past sensors ready to provoke alarms, Past electronics woven thick as charms, Past barriers like a maze, or like a test, Past watchful dragons, those which never rest, We managed once again to get inside And spread our message outward, far and wide. And Spy was there, our first official guest, A visitor to our new, high-up nest. Three hours of Show are here, if you download-- Perhaps next time we'll learn to use the Code.

AND LO, THE FIRST SHOW IN THE NEW PLACE somehow did happen, although Cult of the Portable Device problems with electronic doodads and doohickeys nearly kept it from transpiring. Yet, a way around the overcomplicated contraptoids was found after all, however, and no dingfutzers, gizmos, widgets or whatchamacallits were able to succeed in preventing the first Ask Dr. Hal! Podcast "Radio" Show from meeting its appointment with Destiny. At least, ultimately they didn't succeed. At the start, though, our struggle against them did actually result in an unprecedented 14-minute gap, it must be admitted. Then, after almost a quarter of an hour, as you can hear, we got going and performed the rest of our allotted three hours. A poetry-heavy show with interspersed mixes and ruminations. No guests are featured. Just fast-forward for 14 minutes or so.

YES, I'M REALLY the Last of the Do-dos. Since you ask. Assuming you have any real and genuine interest. And Radio Valencia is indeed moving. We're going to try to keep rolling, to provide some kind of continuity here. Perhaps it will be seamless. Alternatively, there may be a delay. This show may be the last five hours we ever performed in the (gutted, stripped) Old Studio. With KrOB on the job, Puzzling Evidence in residence and Dr. H. Owll still not throwing in the towel. For now.

OPENING ON THE FOAM Of perilous seas, in Faerie lands forlorn. Or, in our case as we enjoy the last nights in the old studio in the El Dorado Building overlooking Mission Street, opening on the spectacle of Bruno's, where the night life is always churning. We hope, ideally, to go beyond the world and its concerns, with strains of music and poetry, with parody and laughter, with philosophical speculation. And these high aims, though even often served, nonetheless tumble from time to time-- some would say, most of the time, into greasy tropes of filth and imbecility. Well, that's show-biz. With Jett, Spy Emerson, KrOB, Puzzling Evidence, Dr. H. Owll and the Flail of the Lord, Michael Peppe. A force of Nature is Mr. Peppe. He understandeth not what he doth, nor careth. And the flailing disconnecteth and damageth the studio equipment. At least we did six hours. It began with the poetry of Clark Ashton Smith, moving then to a discussion of Slime Molds. All good and proper. But then...

WE EXPERIMENT ONCE AGAIN WITH THE NARRATION of a film; in this case INVASION OF THE SAUCERMEN, that 1957 exercise in paranoia within a "teen" film-- also called INVASION OF THE HELL CREATURES. We maintained, or perhaps only tried to maintain, during a flailing guest free-for-all, that popularly enjoyed entertainments of their time, like INVASION, inculcated fears which became solidly cemented as folk belief. Here such fears are prompted by repeated scenes of Air Force men blowing up the saucer and covering it up (with shovels), all the while remarking, "It's a good thing those civilians don't know we're out here covering all this stuff up." Later the same speaker goes on to remark, "Y'know, we're just one team out here hiding this evidence. Just think how many teams like ours are out this minute hiding other stuff we can't let the public know about!" And so, this scenario gradually percolates into the lexicon of public belief. Of course, no one pays any attention to INVASION OF THE SAUCERMEN. No one, that is, except true-blue SubGeniuses who know the value of top-grade Bulldada. It was only then that we moved to THIS ISLAND EARTH, and, still later, the immortal EEGAH! With Jett, Michael Peppe, Puzzling Evidence and KrOB, even after the sun comes up...

AN AWFUL, SPASMODIC START, when abruptly confronted with a maddeningly re-wired "board" and all equipment out of adjustment. Scratchy stops. Starts. But we get under weigh. The book is finished. And then... Dr. H. Owll is a minister of the Church of the SubGenius and yet legitimate, by virtue of a special legal dispensation. Yes, he has ecclesiastical authority, and has legally married many couples. And it was Puzzling Evidence who suggested he perform the ENTIRE Anglican Marriage Service on the Show. And lo, this happened. A new lo. God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Ghost, bless, preserve and keep you; the Lord mercifully with His Favour look upon you; and so fill you with all spiritual benediction and grace, that ye may so live together in this life, that in the world to come ye may have life everlasting. Amen. Also with Jett and Krob in attendance. Michael Peppe was too fatigued after his day at work as a medical experimental subject to come in. Only 3 more of these at the Old Station, or perhaps, in other circumstances, fewer.