DR. HAL WAS GONE, Man, we mean real gone, dig? He was, like, already at X-Day, in more ways than one. So it was up to the ADH Krewe, and in they came, to provide the audience a LIVE show, rather than the dread "re-run," ever so-o uncool. Way, WAY uncool. See, like these swingin' science studies, dig, they sample audience profile numbers, computer algorithms and all that crazy jive, and, dig, they "made a determination" that the, like, statistically average Ask Dr. Hal! Show listener just doesn't roll with that nowheresville re-run scene. Matter of fact, the cat would rather groove on ANYTHING else than a re-run. So, like, your wish is our command, Baby. Lend us your ears and listen in while the Dr. H. Owll-less Ask Dr. Hal! Show kicks out the jams. Get set for lots of this.

AS PREVIOUSLY THREATENED, Jett brought in a huge container of Kaiju monsters; these made themselves at home in the Studio with great rapidity. They were everywhere, and unfortunately no respecters of the control board. Several times Michael Peppe or another guest would find himself cut off when a wandering claw, tentacle of tail brushed a button and caused the proceedings to come to a standstill. KrOB was there to fix things, though. Puzzling Evidence sat apart, not wishing to get on the microphone or chat with Pete Goldie. Dr. H. Owll presided over his last show on Radio Valencia for the next five weeks. But, Rocket Rookies and Etherettes, fear not! The Dr. Hal Krewe will be on the job during that interval. On August 11th, should he return safely, the live Dr. Hal will be heard in the mix again. And now-- off to X-Day-- and beyond!

...I'll be there, I'll be there; when the brain comes down the chimney I'll be there (I'll be there)-- when the brain comes down the chim-neeee, I'll... be... there! With Very Especial Guests Jett, Michael Peppe, at his absolute best, Puzzling Evidence and KrOB. And KrOB carried it on afterward, too. Now, for the next six weeks the show will be in other hands, while I'm on my travels. Probably their hands. I shall return-- to whatever's left. When I'm back I'll update the Podcast Page.

Jett, Michael Peppe, Dr. H. Owll, Puzzling Evidence and KrOB were joined by acerbic ADH Science Solon Pete "Starman" Goldie. Although Pete never got close enough to a microphone, he did engage heavily, as they say, with the two new Kaiju creatures Jett had brought to the studio. Like the recent Giant Spider visitor, the gaudier of the two unthinkable alien beings showed aggression, when, apparently inadvertently insulted in some inter-species fashion by "Doc" Goldie's sharp tongue, It became enraged-- and went right for Pete. Quite a tussle it was. Clean-living Pete eventually prevailed against tentacles and mouth-parts... And there was other stuff, too, to fill the three hour slot we've been allotted. These are great nights and days, but soon Dr. Howll must begin his annual travels. A Substitute Crewe will do the honors for the next five weeks after our last show on June 23rd.

AS USUAL,THE SHOW BEGAN and Meeting called as per our plan. Spy and Allison were there; we spoke with the bewitching pair. Then in came our good friend Jett, pitching significance, you bet. Michael Peppe did not show. What he missed he'll never know. Then came KrOB with his screen, then Puzzling Evidence was seen. Science, and the World at Large, were met, when our Team led the charge. Through the night like steeds we cantered. All the while we japed and bantered. Dawn at length drove us away, to our earth-boxes, from our play.

A CARAVAN OF GUESTS troops through the Studio, and there are microphones for all. Long conversations, augmented, strive toward improvements in understanding and interpersonal consilience. Jett's Kaiju monsters are heard from again, including in particular one eerily glowing, malevolent mini-mite whose radiated presence fills the room. Michael Peppe is conspicuously there, as well. Poems by Blake, Poe et al.

ANOTHER NIGHT of Special Guests-- Jocund Jett, Sultry Spy and Kryptic KrOB. Faith, we were up a-yakkin' 'til Cockcrow. But there was another Guest, as it turned out, a giant Aranea spider. Not the oversized tropical spider inadvertently liberated by Michael Peppe recently-- that same arachnid seems to have taken up clandestine housekeeping behind the storage racks in the anteroom, where (so far!) she prefers brooding over her egg sac to emerging to confront visitors. But this newly encountered web-spinning giant dropped in for a visit. NOTE: Dr. H. Owll has encountered these before. They generally live in the upper hills of San Francisco. A few years back he literally ran into one, walking into the huge web, which was to all intents and purposes invisible, while traversing from upper 21st Street to the 22nd Street Steps, his habitual mode of descent. A truly huge Aranea crawled on him that time, one larger than Science allows. Now another such creature has entered the studio, not part of but perhaps drawn to Jett's amazingly comprehensive Spider Collection. Perhaps listeners can be excused in thinking "the drugs" were responsible. Indeed, they augmented the experience. But Spy actually got tired of screaming and photographed the eight-legged visitor with her phone. NEXT: BATTLE OF THE GIANTS!

Recovered from the Hypno-Kat's baleful effects (see Episode #27262, we were all set to enjoy a crowded but fun three hours plus, up in our snug Studio atop San Francisco's famed El Dorado Building. Visitors included Jett, Tracy Feldstein (and, later, Donald Bruce), Puzzling Evidence, the vivacious Spy Girlfriday and Barnacle Bill. Later, the ebullient Michael Peppe joined the crowd. Conversation and refreshments flowed freely. And we may as well admit that the latter included an array of... controlled substances, let us say. Well, it seemed OK to do, though Dr. H. Owll knew he was in for "the long haul," since some of these things, intense as they are, don't wear off for many hours. In truth, he felt on the cusp of queasiness, especially when Jett, an entomologist-arachnologist among other interests, began to produce specimen after specimen of various kinds of huge spider from his collection. The first group of these were instars, which is to say the molted hairy skins, with all anatomical details still present, of a number of large Lycosidae, or Wolf Spiders. Soon "Dr. Howll" was feeling unavoidable nauseous arachnophobia as these things were held in his face, one after the other, so he could see them properly... The party went on, more drinks were consumed, and the show continued. After Dr. H.'s viewing of super-venomous scorpions and the preserved remains of Huntsman Spiders, Jett next introduced the stars of his collection: the Egg Sac of a giant tropical bird-eating spider, then, abruptly, the spider herself, who seemed to be scrabbling furiously at the plastic container's walls while she watched us handle her eggs. Matters came to a head when a flailing Michael Peppe, ironically trying to demonstrate how he WOULDN'T knock the specimen case open, did just that with the bottom of the beer bottle he was waving. Shrieks and chaos ensued... perhaps it made "good radio" to listen to... The giant adult scrambled across the board, moving with incredible speed, seized the egg bundle with her chelicerae, and dropped to the floor to run out the studio door. It was difficult to move as fast, and by the time we had disentangled from headphones and microphone, we could just see Theraphosa blondei squeezing her 9-pound body behind the storage rack on the North side of the anteroom. No one was in any shape to try to get her out of there, what with the drugs and all. This giant is probably still there. Unlike the typical coloration of her species, brown to light-brown blondish bristles, this particular spider is dark brown, almost black-- the result of natural variation. The mouth parts and fang sheaths are, as usually noted, of a bright red color. These are aggressive spiders which WILL pursue and attack humans-- the venom is quite deadly, too. She may simply be planning to hatch her eggs, but it's also possible hunger may bring her out. So Radio Valencia now is more unique than ever as it houses the largest and most aggressive spider on Earth. Next week: we'll probably schedule a re-run and not personally come in.

HELLO. I'm... Dr. Howland Owll. And, I'm here tonight to tell you about an incredibly powerful being, a source of mental stimulation and a sponsor, you could say, for this very program. Also featuring... Michael Peppe! But no one else. No one else appeared, but we two had a pleasant chat, up to and then beyond the temporal bounds of our allotted space. As has long been known, felines secrete a substance, an enzyme, which they rub on you. This makes you want to serve them and take care of them. Depending on frequency of propinquity and dosage, one may be subtly bound to the service of the animal. With more cats, the servanthood, so to speak, is certain to be greater. Cat Ladies are famously overrun and overwhelmed, mere walking servitors of the Cat Hive. Let's suppose-- just for an instant! --that at the very top of the graph for Cat Overlords there exist a few powerful felids, or perhaps just One... who control their minions not electrochemically, but by a long-range, feline-centered ability of mental induction. Anyway, we hope you enjoy the show. All Hail his Magnificence, the Hypno-Kat!

HERE IT IS, FOLKS-- the Overflow from a psychedelic, entheogenic what-you-may-call-it, spiced with passion, sauced with memory, laced with rue. How those guys do go on. As long as there is fuel, the fire burns. And so many guests that night, but in successive waves, so them in t'first part ne'er met them in the nextmost part. But it's all kind of apiece, and there may be gems to extract from the dross. Rhinestones, even.

A LONG, LONG NIGHT of Show, with only 3 hours to present from it here. But the Guest List principally is found in the first three. Jett hit Mach 5 on the way over, so we weren't late. No hideous set-up mis-adjustment as happened last iteration. In fact, Spy Emerson, when she appeared, flexing her mighty musculature, brought in B.F Barnacle Bill, a super-technology specialist among other talents. Swiftly and silently, the Barnacle perfectly adjusted the battery of microphones, a skill thoroughly beyond antiquated, doddering Dr. H. Owll, so there was a "mike" for everyone who came. Who? Oh, besides Jett, Spy and the wonder-working Barnacle, we boasted Pete and Sarah Goldie. Then there was the great KrOB. All the while, sprites, imps, minor angels and demons and ghosts from the El Dorado Building leered in upon us. But NOW how does it sound?

SOMETHING WAS NOT RIGHT at the beginning of the episode; the controls would not respond. Volume of music sounded at full blast in the earphones and could not be adjusted. Sound levels dropped and rose. We were ready to give up on it all (did the S.F. Power Out(r)age earlier that day have anything to do with it?) and just concede defeat. But tinkering around with the equipment somehow fixed things (we wish we could understand what we did) and encouraging words from the Chatterbox helped us immeasurably. Things really took a turn for the better when Puzzling Evidence dropped by. And so, we watched QUEEN OF BLOOD, something we always wanted to do. With Basil Rathbone, Dennis Hopper, John Saxon, the bewitching Judi Meredith, Forry Ackerman(!) and a green-skinned Florence Marly. ETHERETTES AND ROCKET ROOKIES! There is ONE more LIVE Ask Dr. Hal! Show this Thursday. Drop by the Chez Poulet Gallery-Cabaret if you're in the local area...

THE RIGHT REVEREND DOKTOR MOTHER MILLER, a special visitor to the Studio, found herself surrounded by the agitated entomology of the twitching SubBugs-- first Jett, then KrOB, then Michael Peppe, flailing away with all six limbs, then Puzzling Evidence... all the time Dr. H. "Gregor" Owll did what he could to promote the general welfare of his guests and show. On it went, through the night with those lovable, bloated, human-sized arthropods, and here's the first three hours. Technical difficulties at the beginning were the result of system failure, not just a poor workman blaming his tools...

Thanks to our friends the renowned and redoubtable Pooh-Bah Players, we led off with more than half an hour of Radio Drama-- not Pat Novak this time (Pat will be back sometime this Summer) but a fast-paced tail --er, tale, that is, of the Spaceways, and rocketing rodents scampering through the Cosmos. Not to be missed. And then, of course, there was other stuff, but only just before the End we were visited by KrOB and Puzzling Evidence. NEXT WEEK: Right Reverend Doktor Mother Miller will be featured, and possibly other Special Guests. Wow! And make sure, if you're relatively local, to come to our Thursday night LIVE show! Only 3 left!

MICHAEL J. PEPPE, the famed '80s Performance Artiste, has difficulty restraining his bounding natural exuberance. And so it was, on this night, the Eve of St. Stupid's Day, when he, KrOB, Puzzling Evidence and Jett came in to be guests on the last Podcast before Live Shows begin on April 6th. These live stage shows, it should be noted, at the legendary Chez Poulet Gallery-Cabaret, a.k.a. Chicken John's Warehouse, will run every Thursday night, April 13th, 20th and 27th following the opening night, at 9 PM, barring Acts of God or the Devil. And, YOU can get tickets online or at the door. Oh, don't worry, these Podcasts, not being on the same night, as in the past, will keep coming. Well, whatever was the cause, Mr. Peppe, buzzing with drugs, just couldn't keep still, like any force of Nature, with a disastrous effect on the microphones, cables and studio in general. He even managed to start a small fire, which we did extinguish. What a Frenetic Fervor. Some were entertained by this. For three hours. Well, that's it, folks. Come to the Show if you're local. 3359 Cesar Chavez Boulevard (at Mission). Be there for the end of the private life.

Science, Folklore, Nostalgia, Film Criticism, Politics, Gossip, Innuendo... all come skittering out of the woodwork in this episode of The World's Most Inconsequential Talk Show. On the other hand, "Poets are the Unwritten Legislators of Mankind." --Shelley. On the OTHER hand, if you guys really want to start solving the world's problems, write some poems, already. One poem IS included in here, by Clark Ashton Smith, somewhere before midway through the, er, Dark Wood (referenced). Then "gleeful chaos" and Glossolalia descend. Perpetrators: Michael Peppe, Jett Jackson, KrOB, Puzzling Evidence. Perp.-in-Chief: Dr. Howland Owll. Three hours of this stuff, though after signoff it still continued... to past dawn...

This meeting of like minds was professionally augmented. Alterations in inboard chemistry were sampled by Dr. H. Owll, Michael J. Peppe and Jett; also present were Puzzling Evidence and KrOB, though largely unheard. Actually the whole thing went on and on, not winding up until after 5:30 AM. But here, for now, are the first three hours, also featuring interpretations of the poetry of Dylan Thomas and Clark Ashton Smith. The sharp-eared may note the transition point, occurring just after the recitation of the Tenth Psalm. DON'T FORGET: Etherettes and Rocket Rookies take note-- April will bring the long awaited LIVE Ask Dr. Hal! Night Club show, put on "just where you think it'll be put on" (in the haunted post-Ghost Ship landscape). Reserve your tickets now, or purchase them at the door.

Uses and Abuses - Acceleration and deceleration - False Time Control - Alternate Methods - Assorted Epiphenomena - Taking a Reading - Chronar - The Temporal Vacuole/travel capsule - Inertia and its problems - Alternates and other Time Tracks - Ethics of Time Control - Obstacles in Arrival Paths - Impetus - Time and Gravity Waves - Vortices - Time Travel Sickness (Chronoperigrinitis)- Out of Time - Poetry of Poe, Clark Ashton Smith and Dylan Thomas. The very latest X-Day recapitulation on disc(s) from SubGenius HQ. No visitors. No listeners.

POETRY of Clark Ashton Smith. Poetry of Dylan Thomas. Poetry of Leigh Hunt. Selections from James Thurber's FABLES FOR OUR TIME. A nosegay of musical offerings. And a visit from those peripatetic night-birds, the Goldies, dropping in after leaving from yet another exclusive, glamorous soiree. Remix we mix; same old old tricks. Let's hope the starter kicks, so the planned performance sticks. If it will or wont's unclear. All we know is, we'll be here.

...tenebrarius in Tenebris. A dark eye looks at us darkly in darkness. Well, what if it does? WE have powerful charms and protections, spells woven round about. Expert Sages and Mages have conjured impenetrable protective barriers, with interlocking spells and terrible Words, never to be articulated except in time of greatest need. And, within the Guardian Circle, just look, or rather listen to, what goes on. Clark Ashton Smith's poetic cantrips and incantations. New Archival material from SubGenius Headquarters, a profound question (complete with emolument) from Washington, D.C.'s own Mob Meattie... And then, in come KrOB, Michael Peppe, Dr, Penny, Puzzling Evidence and sultry Mystery Siren 342638. All get busy a-palaverin' and a-yakkin. Never mind that big, scary EYE trying to intimidate us. There'll be more like this. And, in the Name of Dobbs, Contribute, everybody, won't you-- to the Ask Dr. Hal! Kickstarter-- use those Search Words to find it-- and help inaugurate an ALL-NEW series of LIVE A.D.H. performances-- in April...