After the official end-time of 1:00 AM the Show really picked up speed. Though Dr. H. Owll was laid up with a pedal appendage injury, the Monitors made much of the available time and added their unique adumbrations to the ever-elaborating gestalt. About 180 minutes of this. For some, anathema, for others, bliss.

After a successful return from the Planet of Dust, Dr. Howll was re-acclimatized and prepared to take up his duties. Unfortunately, however, a gravitational fluke left him completely disabled. The slight jar of landing so damaged his right leg that he was unable to report in to RV HQ. Once again, Team Puzzling Evidence stepped in to fill the breach.

At Burning Man, the wounded Dr. Hal prepared to do his Stage Show on the following day, the Day of the Burn, completely severed from any hope of altering the content of the scheduled Podcast back in the Cool Gray City of Love, the Land of Poets' Pride... But Puzzling was, as ever, at the helm. The result, critics say, is of a piece with thirty-one plus-odd years of broadcasting for his Secret Masters.

Dr. Howland Owll was at Burning Man, battling daemonic forces in the Accursed Desert. Alone, raving, sick and tempted by Ahriman, Apollyon and Beelzebub (among others)he endured endless dust storms and brain-eroding Dubstep. During this protracted period of penitence, back at Radio Valencia this show was thoughtfully substituted for one he might have done, put in place by Cmndr. Puzzling Evidence, late USN.

WE were expecting ultra-attractive Nurse Isabella to be in-studio, in her fetching uniform, to tend to our various needs, medical and Spiritual.
But, as the Norns would have it, she became Stuck in Traffic (not to mention Hooked on Phonics).
Another time, soon, we promise-- provided Dr. H. Owll survives the upcoming, looming juggernaut known as Burning Man.
Meanwhile, a large crowd gathered-- IN the studio!
Present were Ginger Vee and Sleepy Swain, Karen Carpenter, KrOB, Rusty Rebar, Margaretha M'Organ Antic-pantic, Puzzling Evidence, Col. Spozzmo and everyone's newest see-worthy Gull-friend-- the captivating "Brunellita."
Some of them even deigned to get "on mike" while beleaguered Doktor Howll frantically operated the machinery, as you'll hear here! Eat 'em up.
For dessert, the show coasts to an end as Puzzling Evidence reminisces about the Desert...
After this, the Deluge, as a "glitch" causes the "station" to go "off the air..."
Some people are all thumbs. Or, maybe they just have big feet?
They're Hell on "radio," THAT'S for sure.

Another excursion to Dr. H. Owll's monomaniacal inner Monster Landscape sorts and eventually picks out the remaining cheese-coated baldrics. As here your favorites, in good order, Rutabaga-shaped morions offer inadequate protection, but warriors of werewolfery persisted just the same in their whiskery Unibrow-mooned monotony, until lyrical parameters were long-established, in true Justice. Domestic tranquility, meanwhile, and provision for the common defense insured the Chatterbox. Even long-distance disruption, NHLG-style couldn't spill the contents of the apple cart, which we kept before the hoarse voices of orange appeal.

With poetry by J.R.R. Tolkien and Dylan Thomas. Also featured: Bill Cosby Talks to Kids About Drugs, Whitman McGowan, The Mutant Mountain Boys, Ivan Stang, Princess Wei R. Doe, Phineas Narco, Dr. H. Owll, Priestess Pisces and Reverend Baby Bear. More armchair-quarterbacking on the End-of-the-World which, once again, wasn't that. Newly processed digitations from SubGenius Headquarters comprise the appendicular skeleton. Ominously, all this material begins to seem less post-X-Day than pre-Burning Man... And there was no movie, none at all.

On his second show after the return from his far travels, Dr. H. Owll hosts a presentation robustly redolent of post-X-Day ratiocination.
Featured: the poetry of Dylan Thomas and Whitman McGowan.
Speculation and periphrasis. More architecture of SubGenius serendipity; symbiotic synecdoche comes to the fore. We speak of a class of metonymy, often by means of either mentioning a small part for the entirety of the whole, or conversely the whole for one of its parts. Funny how that works. Then, having visited planet Uranus for last week's episode, we turn out attention, via Mario Bava, to, distantly in space, the more exotic, fog-shrouded Vampire world. With the aid of Puzzling Evidence, we enjoy-- or do we endure? --a thorough visit. Not present on any microphone, KrOB nonetheless flits about the studio, finally coming to a rest suspended, head downward, from the ceiling. Show is about two hours and 5 minutes.

Back from his lengthy X-Day travels and adventures, after much bargaining with the Xists to "spare Earth over for one more year," worn-out but game Dr. H. Owll presents, in allegorical form (thanks to guest Radio God Puzzling Evidence), the Bulldada Version of What They Have Against Us-- a stunning indictment of bad species behavior by the usual suspects-- humans.
With Ivan Stang and other recent X-Day voices.
St. Andrew the Impaled performs the bawdy SubG classic, "Saucer Built for One."
Then on to our evening cinema feature, AIP's 1962 programmer set on sinister green Uranus, where American astronauts, sent by the all-powerful UN, find, set amidst the -200 degrees C Uranian landscape, the Giant Rat Cyclops, Monster Spider, Pulsating Uber-Brain (radioactive, complete with megalo-eyeball) and comely chorus girls. What were they expecting to find, anyway?
With John "Planet Arous" Agar (the former Mr. Shirley Temple), Greta Thyssen and fetching Hanne Smyrner, the first woman to appear bottomless in PLAYBOY.
Three hours.
Please contribute to the Ask Dr. Hal! Radio Show Dues Fund, and "Bob" will bless you, or at least leave you alone.

A present-day Ahasuerus, Dr. H. Owll is condemned to roam without rest
among Eastern realms, when the planets are in their present configuration.
Puzzling Evidence Laboratories has, in the meantime, kindly created this
ingenious, life-like synthesis as a succedaneum.
Enjoy the same sort of stuff as always, with added overlays of kibitzing from
KrOB and other co-conspirators.
Dr. H., meanwhile, is engaged elsewhere generating more radio with Stang,
the Head of his Order, which shall in the fullness of time come to light, no doubt
in future iterations...

A present-day Ahasuerus, Dr. H. Owll is condemned to roam without rest
among Eastern realms, when the planets are in their present configuration.
Puzzling Evidence Laboratories has, in the meantime, kindly created this
ingenious, life-like synthesis as a succedaneum.
Enjoy the same sort of stuff as always, with added overlays of kibitzing from
KrOB and other co-conspirators.
Dr. H., meanwhile, is engaged elsewhere generating more radio with Stang,
the Head of his Order, which shall in the fullness of time come to light, no doubt
in future iterations...

A present-day Ahasuerus, Dr. H. Owll is condemned to roam without rest
among Eastern realms, when the planets are in their present configuration.
Puzzling Evidence Laboratories has, in the meantime, kindly created this
ingenious, life-like synthesis as a succedaneum.
Enjoy the same sort of stuff as always, with added overlays of kibitzing from
KrOB and other co-conspirators.
Dr. H., meanwhile, is engaged elsewhere generating more radio with Stang,
the Head of his Order, which shall in the fullness of time come to light, no doubt
in future iterations...

A present-day Ahasuerus, Dr. H. Owll is condemned to roam without rest
among Eastern realms, when the planets are in their present configuration.
Puzzling Evidence Laboratories has, in the meantime, kindly created this
ingenious, life-like synthesis as a succedaneum.
Enjoy the same sort of stuff as always, with added overlays of kibitzing from
KrOB and other co-conspirators.
Dr. H., meanwhile, is engaged elsewhere generating more radio with Stang,
the Head of his Order, which shall in the fullness of time come to light, no doubt
in future iterations...

A present-day Ahasuerus, Dr. H. Owll is condemned to roam without rest
among Eastern realms, when the planets are in their present configuration.
Puzzling Evidence Laboratories has, in the meantime, kindly created this
ingenious, life-like synthesis as a succedaneum.
Enjoy the same sort of stuff as always, with added overlays of kibitzing from
KrOB and other co-conspirators.
Dr. H., meanwhile, is engaged elsewhere generating more radio with Stang,
the Head of his Order, which shall in the fullness of time come to light, no doubt
in future iterations...

Dr. H. Owll helms his last pre-X-Day podcast, resurrecting the dead
and gone hours with his usual competency, such as it is. Moments
on deck include phantoms and shadows of the long-ago, far away
Indianapolis DeVival of 2002(!) among other crumbling historical
relics...
Then, another narrated film ends the podcast, this time UNCLE WAS
A VAMPIRE (1959), in its original form titled TEMPI DURI PER VAMPIRI
("Hard Times for Vampires")...
Thanks to Puzzling Evidence, this moldering curiosity is exhumed
and brought back to a shambling counterfeit of life.
An EXTREMELY un-funny comedian plays a cash-strapped Baron
forced to sell his ancestral castle to a hotel chain. Becoming a hapless,
Jerry-Lewis-like bellhop in his former home is one of many indignities
he, not to mention the audience, is forced to undergo...
But then, salvation arrives (from our perspective) as he turns out to
be related to vampire aristocrat Christopher Lee, who arrives for a
(just-in-) timely visit.
Our unlikeable protagonist is made a vampire himself by the usual
procedure. He occupies much time biting the necks of Italian bikini
starlets, until the curse is lifted from him by a kiss from ravishing Sylva
Koscina.
Well, that worked in NOSFERATU, too, both versions. Love can,
apparently, release one from life-in-death, which we have to take as a
theoretical possibility, though indeed greatly longed for, in our own case.
Just after his magnetic performance in Hammer's style-setting DRACULA
(1958), known to Americans as HORROR OF DRACULA, Lee has never been
more charismatic, magnificent or thanatotically glamorous, radiantly
inhabiting his freshly decanted vampire persona. This poor film, though it
boasts Lee and Koscina, both so highly watchable, isn't fit to kiss the feet
of, say, Polanski's great and occasionally even profound vampire comedy
DANCE OF THE VAMPIRES (1967). But here Lee (and lovely Koscina) give
this otherwise nearly unwatchable programmer a major boost.
You'll have to take our word for it as we narrate the picture, unless you
can follow along in approved digital fashion.

Omar Khayyam got in his innings during this episode-- then, the Persian Astronomer-poet's contemporary incarnation, Michael Peppe, stepped into the breach. For three full hours the podcast vacillated between the poles of the Sacred and the Profane. IN YOUR FACE, National Public Radio! We're more "educational" on OUR show than YOU could ever be. Now THAT'S Entertainment!

While Dr. Hal was in Petrolia, California, up in the state's Lost Coast "undeveloped" area on a field trip of sorts, splashing in the Mattole River with various lovely Naiads and Nereids, that night's Show went on as scheduled, just the same. Though Dr. Hal, even as he enjoyed viewing the Beauties of Nature in the Raw, was yet unable to helm his eponymous program as accustomed, Ask Dr. Hal! show archivist Puzzling Evidence was on the job-- he compounded a savory and appetizing Mulligan Stew of past performances and radio radiance. Dr. Hal, floating in the river, did a live performance for the laughing, un-swimming-suited sirens, which envanesced and vanished on the blossom-scented wind, never to be recorded. But Puzzling Evidence called upon his mighty audio collection to save the day, synthesizing a Radio Valencia show more Radio Valencia than Radio Valencia itself...

Life? Life, on the Moon?
Sure, why not. We get into it. And more, with Dylan Thomas, The Uncluded, Baby Bear,
Rev. Ivan Stang and gumshoe Pat Novak, on a case.
The Isle is full of Voices.
And a famous young SubGenius, in fact, has submitted that we're all more or less afflicted--
with a species of mental derangement, symbolized by a paper record of a flying mammal's
indebtedness.
But, sadly, she "holds the paper."
There were no special guests, no "technical problems," no Monster Movie, no...
Nobody here but us bats, Boss. That's right, move the comma.
Multitudes contained.
A Stream of Consciouslessness.
Every now and then, we do a good one.

That's dealt with fairly soon.
Then comes the part with-- oh, boy! --the Special Show Guests-- Puzzling Evidence! The
Overman, Philo Drummond, a little later on! And, eventually, and terminally, Michael Peppe!
A conversational free-for-all, round after round, among these legendary big-time Sub-
Geniuses and Dr. H. Owll. Quite the fat-chew, eh? What a chin-wag, eh? Eh?
The movie tonight is, or was A Visit to a Small Planet, featuring industrial-strength Jerry
Lewis.
It proved a less-than-stellar (get it?) choice, though, because (1.) The film sacrifices Gore
Vidal's stage play to big-time player Jerry's whims and shtick, and 2. Michael Peppe, with
scattered apprehension, was incapable of following it or commenting on it. Then there's the
unavoidable fact that (3.) the dialogue-heavy script takes forever to move out of the interior
set where most of the first act is set. (4.) In any case, Michael Peppe just yakked loudly away,
right over 95% of the dialogue.
(5.) The long-anticipated scene where Jerry grooves with the beatniks didn't happen, and didn't
happen... finally, Puzz-Ev mercifully advanced the plot, artificially-- and then it happened.
Well, it's no Attack of the Crab Monsters.
But live and learn. Or, depending on who you are, just live...

Reverberations, waves, ripples and resonant echoes from the live Ask Dr. Hal!
shows of April still sound in this, our latest podcast.
The last and most riotous of the Chez Poulet shows is featured here, but then,
like eying a far-off galaxy whose light has just now reached us, we behold an iteration
far farther nestled in the Beforetime-- the Eighties, to be more precise.
No, really, 1982-- the younger voices of Dr. Hal, Mobius Rex and Puzzling Evidence
are heard along with that of the late Jeff Robins (1960-2002), whose voice has often been
mistaken by audiophiles for that of his brother, Dr. H. Owll.
An archival recording, made by Puzzling Evidence, from his extensive collection.
And then-- movie time: The Attack of the Crab Monsters.
It seems that giant, radioactive mutant crabs are picking off the cast one by one in
this exceptionally murky and hard-to-see (illegally rephotographed?) print.
Dr. H. Owll's deteriorating vision causes much of what he narrates and describes to
be a mere guessing game. Hot-spot and fall-off are a consistent conundrum.
Then, the outsized shellfish, having consumed the brains of their late victims, call
eerily to the diminishing survivors in the voices of the departed, to lure them into giant
nipper-range.
It's not just mimesis-- you can actually hold a conversation with the things, and they
advocate for their point of view, for all the good it does...
While this goes on, below the surface, the monstrous, swollen crustaceans, strangely
transmogrified and hypertrophied decapods of the infraorder Brachyurae, are chewing
away with their multiple mouth-parts at the island's foundation, making it a smaller and
smaller place for the last stand of our blurry, barely visible heroes...