YOU KNOW THE TYPE. Face always trained on the inevitable Distraction Device-- anything to avoid introspective thought --spine permanently curved forward like a backwards question mark... yet Clark Aston Smith's THE HUNTERS FROM BEYOND got to some of 'em, we hear... Yes, poor Zombot, there may be other worlds than ours which lie very close by, alien and malignant. That loosely encapsulates the tenor of this particular episode, which includes Smith's entire story. Everyone seems to have heard of (H.P.) Lovecraft and (R.E.) Howard, but the amazingly poetic and brilliant autodidact Smith doesn’t have the same literary ubiquity. A talented poet, painter, and sculptor, Smith made his biggest impact with his macabre fantasy and science-fiction short stories. But his unique style and themes could never make him widely popular. One of his greatest admirers, Ray Bradbury, said that Smith was “a special writer for special tastes; his fame was lonely... Every writer is special in some way, and those who are more than ordinarily special are either damned or lost along the way.” Thankfully, Clark Ashton Smith has never been fully lost. Many modern fantasy writers list him as an influence, and a handful of publishers keep his stories in print. He is often featured right here via Dr. H. Owll's promotion via the reading of his works. Also, much of secret lore, for those who can take it...

--THE LATEST iteration of the ever-evolving creation of the Puzzling Evidence-KrOB-Dr. H. Owll sensation. It's a somewhat-long presentation which perhaps lacks orientation. We are without Sarah Goldie, our traditional Hostess, while Reloadio's new high-tech Studios are still under construction. However, until the upcoming time we swing into action in our special Redoubt, the Ask Dr. Hal! Show will host these fully downloadable podcasts. For those just experiencing them, we say it's unwise to expect that the offering found here will be in any way organized; it's rather an improvisation session of significant length. Stay with it after it starts, and you may eventually find yourself in somewhat familiar territory. Dip in your toe, and you may stay to swim with us.

WHEREIN, by Occasion of the Religious Death of Mistress Elizabeth Drury, the Incommodities of the Soule in this her Life, and her Exaltation in the Next, are contemplated. This towering and lengthy Seventeenth Century work by Mr. John Donne, the Dean of St. Paul's Cathedral in London and the Founder of the School of Metaphysical Poets, marks the start of our five hours. Again, speaking of Incommodities, we had, still, only minimal use of the damaged and broken CD player we need to present our usual performance. But mighty KrOB made a welcome and unexpected appearance, bringing not just himself but a bottle of Industrial Strength Peach Soda to refresh our flagging spirits. We hoisted it in enduring defiance of Scott Weiner's disapproval. From that point on it is our belief that the show really takes on new life. We were able to use all of the ability the equipment provided. The full (and lengthy) poem is alien to contemporary thought, being an artifact of the Age of Faith. As ever, we make a few inevitable errors, but the text is mostly clearly recapitulated with its meaning intact. With superb skill, Mr. Donne examines theological, philosophical and scientific thought of his day on the subject of Death and Transfiguration, and looks far beyond that in this marvelous work, which, it must be admitted, we knew would not be warmly received even by members of our small but devoted audience. First we bless our launch with a sonnet by our Muse, Clark Ashton Smith. After the poetry, the usual meandering pedantry carries us forward to KrOB's manifestation.

While Reloadio's new studios are under construction, these episodes, fully downloadable from the temporary host, the Ask Dr. Hal! Podcast Page on Radio Valencia, are recorded, when they occur. Join KrOB, Puzzling Evidence and, until 4:30 AM, Dr. H. Owll for a pure slice of Show without formal beginning and ending. Among other tropes, we explore the career of Virginia Christine, TV's quondam Folger's Instant Coffee shill "Mrs. Olson." The whole is a sonic tapestry only KrOB and Puzzling Evidence can serve up. A personal note: one hates to speak over such intricately woven needlepoint tapestries of sound, so we often end up just listening in the RV Studio... Four listenable hours can be found here.

ALONG WITH THE DETERIORATING EQUIPMENT at RV. As to the latter, we were not even able to play our introductory theme music. It's getting worse and worse, this dilapidated concatenation of contraptoids-- but we'll soldier on as long as we can... There is a Fundraiser for the station coming up in the Make-Out Room. That's February 26th, starting at Noon. Let's hope, if funds are raised in any meaningful way, that the Powers That Be devote any attention to the devices we need to continue this enterprise. And the former? Despite the attendance of Jett and KrOB, despite the presence of various refreshments including industrial strength Banana Soda, the film SHIN GODZILLA turned out to be an unexpected bore, worthy of but a snore. The dubbed soundtrack consisted principally of lengthy political and bureaucratic meetings, with side notes about modern Japan's relationship vis-a-vis the United States and the inherent ineptitude of political leaders. Folks, I'm making it sound more interesting than it was, which was not much-- to those anticipating rip-roaring Monster Movie action. You can't narrate what is essentially non-stop narration; trying to speak over continuous stultifying dialogue is a loser's game. Oh, the titular monster did make an appearance, let's just say that the magic didn't appear to happen. Although we did not show the announced co-feature ATTACK OF THE MUSHROOM PEOPLE, a.k.a. MATANGO, let alone BIG MAN JAPAN, those pictures may still get the Ask Dr. Hal! treatment-- after we have had a chance to reassemble our afflicted powers (to quote Satan appropriately). The next night the Reloadio session was (slightly) more lively. Well, nobody bats 1000. Remember: our Zoom/Twitch interactive show will be happening soon on March 19th at 6 PM Pacific Time (we're starting it early)! Join us there at https://gonzotronics.net/adh/

THE ASK DR. HAL! SHOW stands atop a mighty monument of a near half-century of improvisatory broadcasts. It represents a continuation of these and a tradition of newly created material in an elder pattern. The show these words accompany is a single effort. No guests were present. At such times, we at Ask Dr. Hal! rely on our ever-dependable font of recorded show progenitors-- in essence, Archival Material, courtesy of the convoluted constructions, the edifying edits of Puzzling Evidence, whose eponymous Show accorded us our last presence on actual radio. Receiving some of these, we employed them, adding a single layer of contemporary commentary. Intermittently we played, when the deteriorating equipment would permit, musicks from our carefully assembled accumulation. Poems are here, including some unlikely candidates.

--NOT EASY TO USE, but necessary to employ for Fashion or Art.. The Destroy Art show in North Beach on February 4th, the Edwardian Ball on that same date, the various appearances of The Rocker of Abundance which is Dawn Jian's creation-- all are public events. In no way are these Zoom Meetings or other pseudo-appearances, but actual, full-blooded attend-able events; interaction on the true and human level and not some sort of anemic digital succedaneum. The genuine artistic impulse may not long be diverted, you see, even in a time of somatic-- and spiritual-- pathology. We hear from Dr. Penny in a personal call. More should contact us in this fashion, since it is possible. Some attention is paid to Joseph Smith and his Magic Peepstone, as we mention the occult art of scrying. We hope to return to our previous level of high facility when the barely-functioning equipment here is finally replaced. We present a solo show of precisely three hours in length, since we had no guests to extend it this time. We give a shout-out to the Dobbstown Mirror SubGenius newspaper and provide information. We conclude with a partial recitation of Macaulay's Horatius at the Bridge... Next week we'll be attending the noted Edwardian Ball in S.F. Future shows may include a visit from Dawn Jian, a blow-by-blow narration of SHIN GODZILLA avec Jett, an enthusiast of the Kaiju genre, and readings from the works of the great Charles G. Finney, perhaps his THE LIFE AND DEATH OF A WESTERN GLADIATOR. So, life is good.

--THE SECOND RELOADIO feature hosted/posted here along with episodes of the Ask Dr. Hal! Show, while Reloadio's spacious new studios are under construction... KrOB, Puzzling Evidence and Dr. H. Owll spend the lengthy interlude casting sonic pebbles into the audio stream. An artistic delay. a crafted echo, repeats all words multiple times, so every utterance may ultimately be apprehended. Musical variations also occur. The show outlasts the noisy dance music and the walla-walla-ing crowd. It generates its own noise, which you shall hear.

--OR, FUNNY, YOU DON'T LOOK KAIJU-ISH featured Special Guests Jett and KrOB in a lengthy night (6 hours) of narrating two (2) Japanese "Giant Monster" movies in Real Time. THE WAR OF THE GARGANTUAS (Japanese: フランケンシュタインの怪獣 サンダ対ガイラ, Hepburn: FURANKENSHUTAIN NO KAIJU: SANDA TAI GAIRA, literally "Frankenstein's Monsters: Sanda vs. Gaira") was directed by Ishirō Honda, with special effects by Eiji Tsuburaya (the team that created the original GODZILLA [GOJIRA] and progeny). Referred by film historian Stuart Galbraith IV as a "quasi–sequel" to FRANKENSTEIN VS BARAGON, called in the U.S. FRANKENSTEIN CONQUERS THE WORLD, this was a Japanese-American co-production; it was the third and final collaboration between Toho Co., Ltd. and low-rent quick-buck producer Henry G. Saperstein. Starring as the inevitable American was Russ "Tom Thumb" Tamblyn, joining an all-Japanese cast including the lovely Kumi Mizuno and Kenji Sahara, with, in the monster suits, Yû Sekida as Sanda and Haruo Nakajima as Gaira. In the film, scientists investigate the sudden appearance of two giant, hairy quasi-human monsters that starts with an incongruous battle between a colossal octopus and a hirsute, greenish Cyclopean humanoid and culminates, as one would expect, in in a real estate-destroying free-for-all battle in beleaguered Tokyo. Actually, not Tamblyn, but none other than Tab Hunter was originally hired by Saperstein, in choosing to replace Nick Adams (from the previous Frankenstein film). However, Hunter was replaced by Tamblyn at some time during pre-production. A greater difficulty came when Honda's contract was not renewed, and the effects craftsman had to seek employment by speaking to Tanaka on a film-by-film basis. Honda, Saperstein, and chief assistant Seiji Tani noted that Tamblyn was difficult to work with. The cocky Tamblyn, the story goes, often did the exact opposite of Honda's instructions, improvising his lines at times without Honda's approval. Principal photography began in May 1966 and wrapped in June 1966, with effects work concluding in July, 1966. THE WAR OF THE GARGANTUAS was theatrically released in Japan on July 31st of that year, followed by a release in the United States on July 29, 1970 on a double feature with MONSTER ZERO. Since its appearance, the movie has come to be regarded in some quarters as a cult classic, drawing admiration from such enthusiasts as Brad Pitt, Quentin Tarantino, Guillermo del Toro and Tim Burton. The song, "The Word gets Stuck in my Throat" became one often performed in the Seventies and Eighties stateside by Punk bands. Thanks are due and go out to the Reverend Angry Larry of Weirdsville Records, who unexpectedly mailed us the complete GARGANTUAS soundtrack on disc. Then, following our indulgence in Gargantuan exploits, we transferred our critical attentions to SHIN ULTRAMAN, the modern re-boot of the popular TV series about a giant robot-like figure who regularly wrestles with a plethora of improbable monsters. The evening's festivities, it must be noted, were psychedelically augmented by mushroom ingestion. The molecular structure of psilocybin, a naturally occurring psychedelic compound found in aptly named "magic mushrooms," allows it to penetrate the central nervous system and re-configure or "sort out" the brain. Poetry heard in this Ask Dr. Hal! episode included that of Clark Ashton Smith, Harry S. Robins and George Gordon, Lord Byron.

THROUGH A SPECIAL ARRANGEMENT WITH THE ASK DR. HAL! Show, while Reloadio's new Studios are under construction we will host those productions here. Listen to Dr. H. Owll, KrOB and Puzzling Evidence create a sonic tapestry with their well-honed experience. Not as... verbal as the Ask Dr. Hal! Show, Reloadio may be-- probably is-- more entertaining for most (nearly all) listeners. At any rate, now you can download and replay this stuff at your leisure! Great to have on while doing your Income Tax forms or writing your will. No, just kidding. We're going to do these for a while-- at least, that's the plan...

AND OTHER Ruminations-- this particular program features, or, depending upon your point of view, is unfavorably distinguished by, a certain percentage of oft-told tales. Dr. H. Owll is aware that he... tends to repeat himself. Awright, the spider story comes up every now and them, OK? You don't have to listen. But perhaps if you do you may yet find a curious value in their reiteration. Also Clark Ashton Smith, Robert Bly... and KrOB! Yes, KrOB actually kame in this time. It was right in the middle of the spider story, in fact. Well, Sir or Madam, we didn't get Jett as we anticipated (see next week) but we had a fine time with KrOB. The refrigerator bulged with banana juice, with which we toasted future plans. The very next light we hosted Reloadio-- now that can also be heard (and downloaded) after the fact.

OR, CREATURES from the Margins. In this program we examine Giant Serpents of yore, companions of Leviathan. Big Monsters seem to be a recurring theme (one of many) on the show. We look in again on the historic X-Day in Florida at the Land of Id, a Nudist resort. Look, that is, through the audio medium of this podcast. The name Leviathan means "twisted in folds" --and so are we all at the late hours the show runs. Next week we hope to bring back Jett, our previous collaborator on many of these whatever-they-ares. We prominently feature the soundtrack to THE WAR OF THE GARGANTUAS, sent to us by the Reverend Angry Larry from the Church of the SubGenius, and from Weirdsville Records. KrOB never did come in to drink his Banana Juice.

THE HOLIDAY PLAYLIST OF THE GODS, or, The Possibly Penultimate Podcast of Ask Dr. Hal! (see below). Yes, along with the usual agglutination of quasi-scientific speculation, historical musing and cracker-barrel philosophy laced with Poetick Recitations, we offer some of the most amazing Christmas covers ever recorded, guaranteed. Hate the Xmas Music jive? Well, so do we, but here you find elaborations on some of the most banal, overplayed Holiday Goulash (too-)often heard through in-store speakers during the frantic, last minute buying competition of desperate Potlatch Lemmings elbowing each other to plunge over the cliff into financial insolvency-- elaborations so creative that they actually recreate the joy in music as the mind dissects out the underlying tunes. It's all from the late Mikl-M's playlist. Like the late Pete Goldie, Science Advisor to the now-dormant live Ask Dr. Hal! Show, Michael M. left the planet just before the Pandemic set in, and there have been no gatherings for either one, as would be fitting and proper; nor can there be until the specter of disease has been satisfactorily banished and "gathering" no longer equates with "super-spreader." A tip of the Holiday Fez to Mikl-em, as he oft styled himself. This is a solo show. No KrOB came in, despite the offered lure of Banana Juice. NEXT WEEK-- There's a Holiday Party we may go to, so the year's last show may be a re-run. Or, we may come in and supersede the re-run, if we leave the party soon enough. In any event, to all who have listened or may continue with us in the future, HAPPY NEW YEAR!

AND OTHER OBSCURE LYRICS are highlighted as these podcasts approach their end-of-year number. These are interwoven with musical selections never before played on our program (as well as with some that have often been). No guest makes a live appearance. The struggle continues.

The taste of Korean Banana Milk is best described as delicately sweet, a gentle blend of banana and vanilla aromas carrying the flavor of cream with the lightness of milk. It smells—and tastes—almost exactly like a stick of Juicy Fruit gum steeped in milk. This might sound strange and off-putting, perhaps, at first, but if you can just give it a chance—- well, just sit down with your Banana Milk and really spend some quality time with it. Then, like KrOB, you just might find yourself falling in love with this supernal beverage. Perhaps the listeners would like to make their own version of Korean Banana Milk. They must remember to keep it cold, first of all. "Best served chilled" is what the typical juice box of Banana Milk says, and we agree—- the flavor becomes much more seductively mellow when it's been pulled straight from the "fridge." Either use ice-cold water, or use a frozen banana to make sure that final blended drink is really, really cold. Just make sure to use a high-powered blender that can handle breaking down the frozen banana into a sensuously smooth drink. Banana Milk has a distinctive texture: silky and rich in taste but thin and watery in "mouth-feel." It's not as thick and creamy as, say, a banana smoothie. Even though it uses pretty much the same ingredients, the ratio of liquid to banana plays an important role in achieving the proper viscosity. Now, a 2:3 ratio of water to milk dilutes the thick creaminess to that sweet spot when using a small banana, but of course, depending on the exact size of the banana in question, a little adjustment might be necessary. Add a touch more water or milk to taste, until you hit your personal sweet spot. To keep it super rich and creamy and more like a smoothie, skip the water and use only milk for the liquid portion. Both Maple syrup and honey do really well as sweeteners here: both have a secondary flavor aside from sweetness, which helps develop that mildly ethereal "essence of banana" vibe you're aiming to achieve. Use Maple syrup for a woodsy perfume, or honey for a floral note. Depending on the ripeness of your banana (we recommend a just-barely freckled one for that Juicy-Fruit banana taste), you can adjust the sweetness to your taste, keeping in mind that the same volume of honey is a little sweeter than Maple syrup in taste. Sweetened condensed milk adds a hit of dairy that heightens the natural sweetness present in the milk and banana. Surprisingly, to nail that pleasantly artificial banana flavor, you need to use pure vanilla extract, because for this recipe, cheap imitation vanilla extract just doesn't quite hit the target. If you have banana extract or banana liqueur on hand, adding in a tiny dash will get you that much closer to the real thing.

PRIOR TO CHRISTMAS-- IN NOVEMBER-- but the encroaching horror of Christmas and the ubiquity of widely distributed catalogs prompts a turn of the pages of one of the worst offenders. "Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers. Little we see in Nature that is ours." A solo effort, and this, the bile and vinegar of solitude, prompts these bitter musings. With the usual prophecy, poetry and pedantry. The show on December 2nd must perforce be a re-run, since Dr. H. Owll will be at Patricia's Green in Hayes Valley, helping out the cat-worshiping cult of Holofelinity at showtime next week. On stage with a bevy of cat-costumed chorus girls, he will host the Cat Priestess Fashion Show after doing something of his usual act. There will be a DJ. The Cat-o-lith statues of David Normal, now installed, will be welcomed to the locus by a ribbon-cutting ceremony as a chorine with an oversized pair of ceremonial scissors will make the fateful snip. Learn about pre-human cat-centered civilizations and their downfall. Lectures will describe the extraterrestrial feline influence; KrOB will present a visual trip through the Cat Universe. Dawn Jian will bring the Rocker of Abundance. A Marching band, Mission Delirium will play. This event is open to all comers and FREE. Sponsored by Burning Man and the Hayes Valley Merchants' Association. It is in the open air, and COVID contamination unlikely. Nearby stores and restaurants will be open. Starting at 6:00, it'll run up to and probably past 10 PM. So, back here at the Studio, a re-run will be playing.

AND ADVERTISING upcoming events... a solo show. No guests, and a battle contra the eternal throb of amplified music from the by-Our-Lady Make-Out Room (directly) next door... par for the course, as we say. Listen to the beginning to hear of a veritable cavalcade (and that's the best kind) of bold and brave Art Events coming up with terrifying speed. See us at these-- see the fabled Fashion Show, featuring the fantastic, fervent, fanatical, flouncing, farthingale-free, felicitous, flesh-flashing, flirtatious, flock of fascinating Feline femmes-- the Cat Priestesses of Pussyopolis. Yes, really. Also we'll recite some Cat-related poems. There will be a Marching band... find out how to get there by checking out Cathenge, on Facebook-- or by just listening to the beginning of this show. Then, since you will be there, listen to it all-- the whole three hours, after we set the whole megilla into magnum motion. You will, subsequently, know what to do. As for this current episode, we then feature an interpretive performance of two of Clark Ashton Smith's poems, "Desire of Vastness" and, later, "The Star-Treader." If this sort of thing pleases you, plan to watch our TV-type show on Zoom (via Twitch) on December 11th. Go to: https://gonzotronics.net/adh/ and watch our last one-- watch ALL of them, by Yogg-Sothoth! What about Friday, December 2nd? Well, there will BE no show-- we will have a re-run installed while we're off pussyfooting with the Piquant, Puissant and Pneumatic Priestesses of Pussyopolis. You might as well come to this lewd, live lovely and FREE public event, if you tend to turn up your shapely, snobby snoot at a re-run. At the end we go out with Keats's "Ode to the Nightingale..."

STRIKES! And this is all BEFORE we get started. KrOB comes in and we chew the fat (down to the gristle) on any number of topics. Der Rattenfänger von Hameln, also known as the Pan Piper or the Rat-Catcher of Hamelin, is the title character of a legend from the town of Hamelin, in Lower Saxony, Germany. This story comes from the Middle Ages, July 22nd, 1376. It is the earliest references describing a piper, dressed in multicolored ("pied") clothing, a rat-catcher hired by the town to lure vermin away to their doom with his magically compelling pipe. When the Mayor and the Town Corporation refused to pay for this service as promised, however, the strange Piper retaliated by using his instrument next on their children, leading them away, as he had the rats. This version of the story spread as folklore, and has appeared in the writings of Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, the Brothers Grimm, and notably Robert Browning. The phrase "pied piper" has become a metaphor for a person who attracts a following through charisma or false promises. The behavior of the town officials, though, seems to echo the current treachery of the contemporary Republican Party in the United States in year 2022. As for the strange story, there are many contradictory theories about the Pied Piper. Some suggest he was a symbol of hope to the people of Hamelin, which had been attacked by plague; he drove the rats away, saving the people from the epidemic, caused by the fleas of the rodents who passed the Bubonic Plague. In San Francisco one might view the 1909 Maxfield Parrish mural, "The Pied Piper of Hamelin" at the Palace Hotel. Good luck trying to see it.

The earliest known record of the story is depicted in a stained-glass window created for the church of Hamelin, around 1300. Although this church was destroyed in 1660, written accounts of the tale survived. Browning's poem suggests that the ensorcelled children eventually climbed out of a subterranean region in Transylvania, where their descendants still live. When I was a little shaver I read a story, I think in the Saturday Evening Post, called The Martian Cathedral. In it, space explorers find a medieval cathedral on the Red Planet constructed by the now-gone Hamelin children. The rat figured prominently in the cathedral's elaborate carvings. Don't miss my next show online on Zoom and Twitch-- this visual performance is Sunday November 13th for those who go to: https://gonzotronics.net/adh/

THE RUDE OWL CRIED like a tell-tale tit. So scripsit Dylan Thomas, and so we have done again. But we also here focus on the (uncomfortably imminent) forthcoming Future. Especial Guest KrOB adds needed herbs and spices to the cauldron. Initially the future of Reloadio, an actual planning session is featured, Reloadio? The late Pete Goldie, expelled from this institution and cast into outer darkness, as when Satan was defeated by the Archangel Michael ("THIS greeting on thy impious crest receive!") in dubious battle on the plains of Heaven and flung headlong, flaming, from th'ethereal sky, with hideous ruin and combustion down... When this happened Pete built an actual radio station of his own in his attic. Well, sir, Pete, you know, is gathered to his fathers, but we fellow travelers have been, as many are following, appearing there for some time-- and now, by Jupiter! --we're consolidating, rebuilding-- creating a whole new studio... We discuss that. But then we shift into dismal speculation about the perilous state of the country and the national disaffection. KrOB n' me, we talk it all out, ranging over film, literature and personal matters (in the grand tradition of Roommate Radio). The extended kaffee-free klatch ends up lasting an extra hour. Soundscapes by KrOB exalt the final hour. We speak with pleasure of the incoming rain. November begins.

IS FEATURED, detailing the history, biology and habitat of more Fabulous species, with disquisitions on their legendary lore-- as well as a nod to Capital in its rawest floundering form, with advertising messages promoting Megalo-Mart, our new Sponsor. Megalo-Mart! The Biggest thing anywhere! (Formerly the State of Iowa.) Yes, in this episode we do cast our Church robes on the bare ribs of the Conspiracy. You may also hear in its entirety my address at the Starwood Festival in 2018 (pre-Pandemic) entitled, "Deflecting the Conspiracy." The divine music of Loop! Station-- Robin Coomer and Sam Bass. Tennyson's poetry, and that of Clark Ashton Smith. Who's that familiar voice, ranting and singing? Only Zacherly-- yes, him. After all, Halloween is... creeping up on us...