We all knew it was coming, and yet nobody was prepared: the people have voted for the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND to leave the Wednesday Night Union, and thus to no longer be partnered with [REDACTED] at 8pm or Puzzling Evidence at midnight.

But shortly after the NHLGlexit, as the show settled into a new timeslot following a DJ who actually smiles when Karen Carpenter, Bob-Marc, Sherilyn Connelly, and KrOB walk in, Radio Valencia's stock plummeted -- which is to say it was denied an LPFM license, as seen in this government document which is freely available to the public to view and discuss: http://bit.ly/28YkvWv Coincidence? We'll find out.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: Also known as the NHLGofuckyourself.


Chatroom History
June 28, 2016 10:00pm - 1:30am
Great Rip Off: Hot Toddy!!!!! (10:03pm)
Great Rip Off: Where's my pound of doubt (10:08pm)
Star Chamber: Give Us Thomas o' Bucket! (10:20pm)
Guy on a raft in the Med: Got job? (10:22pm)
Karen Carpenter: PinkFloyd albums will get really cheap (10:26pm)
Karen Carpenter: hey, is this fair and balanced? (10:45pm)
Grand Gravel: Bound by EU rules, heh? (10:52pm)
Karen Carpenter: NHLG id (11:00pm)
Perfect_Timing: NHLG ego (11:27pm)
Just Werds: I Love Mes (11:30pm)
Just Werds: RadioFalencia.Fummmm (11:30pm)

A warm, dry radio station is nice to come home to... but it's often hard on the furniture The dry heat shrinks the wood and causes the glue to dry out. And first thing you know... the studio chairs are coming to pieces.

Well... here are some tips from Sherilyn Connelly (but definitely not Karen Carpenter) for putting 'em back together again. These suggestions come from the forest experts of the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND. There will be hot glue involved.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: Do not assume content reflects current scientific knowledge, policies, or practices.

Chatroom History
June 21, 2016 10:00pm - 12:30am
Karen Carpenter: sounds a lot like me (10:06pm)
Law-Abiding DJ: YOU ARE NOT HERE. (10:09pm)
vj pussycat: it's Tuesday this is weird (10:10pm)
Karen Carpenter: NHLG... finally weird. (10:11pm)
vj pussycat: keep nhlg weird just like the bumper sticker says (10:38pm)
Karen Carpenter: can't wait until Puzzling Evidence trys a Tuesday transition (10:46pm)
Karen Carpenter: definitely not He Who yadayada (10:51pm)

Chances are you are among the massive majority of podcasters who rarely or never fast. It’s not because we haven’t read the Google Group or attending meetings or heard about the power of fasting, or even that we don’t genuinely want to do it. But DJs like Sherilyn Connelly just never actually get around to putting down the microphone.

Part of it may be that we live in a society in which radio is so ubiquitous that we podcast only when we don’t need to, but sometimes even when we don’t want to, such as on the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND. We podcast to share a show with others, to build or grow relationships (good reasons), or just as a distraction from community excellence.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: Some DJs will fast for upwards of four weeks before returning to their shows.

Conflict, arguments, and change are natural parts of our lives, as well as the lives of every agency, organization, and nation. Conflict resolution is a way for Sherilyn Connelly, KrOB, and parties who shall remain nameless to find a peaceful solution to a disagreement among them. The disagreement may be personal, financial, political, or emotional. When a dispute arises on the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, often the best course of action is negotiation to resolve the disagreement.

Conflict resolution through negotiation can be good for all podcasts involved. Often, each side will get more by participating in negotiations than they would by walking away, and it can be a way for your group to get resources that might otherwise be out of reach, especially if the station is down.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4...

The Ministry of Expectancy (prequel)

We’re in a renaissance period. We’re in a place where people are like, multi-disciplined artists. Like Steve McQueen that directed 12 Years a Slave. He was considered to just be a photographer, but then he won an Oscar. We’re not in a place where Karen Carpenter, Bob-Marc, and Sherilyn Conelly can only have one career or one profession throughout their entire life. So the exact amount of emotion and color palette and sonics and everything I put into the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, I put them into shoes and they worked.

We got 100 years here. We’re one station, the human race, one excellent community. We’re a blip in the existence of the universe, and we constantly try to pull each other's podcasts down. Not doing things to help each other.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: I'mma let you finish, but Stimulus Regression Programming is one of the best podcasts of all time.


Chatroom History
May 25, 2016 10:00pm - 1:30am

Wtf plugin: So, wtf plugin (10:28pm)
Wtf plugin: Vice works, but what am I missing (10:28pm)
Wtf plugin: Vlc (10:28pm)
vj pussycat: the rv app? (10:29pm)
Wtf plugin: The plugin that's not supported (10:29pm)
vj pussycat: no plugin needed with the app (10:30pm)
Wtf plugin: Is fish prolly, but have tried fly and vlc, vlc will play it bUT what am imissing (10:30pm)
Wtf plugin: Haha jive up autocorrect..I quit (10:31pm)
Wtf plugin: Don't tell me no plugin needed when browsing rv site says "plusing not supported" (10:32pm)
Wtf plugin: Plugin (10:32pm)
vj pussycat: do you have a smart or dumb phone (10:32pm)
Wtf plugin: Dumbasf (10:32pm)
vj pussycat: sorry (10:33pm)
Wtf plugin: Is new Samsung tablet (10:33pm)
vj pussycat: that's dumb? (10:33pm)
Wtf plugin: It's just, I represent avg listener... so the plugin issue, is prolly widespread, and most ppl aren't gonna get the app (10:34pm)
vj pussycat: we're probably the only people listening (10:34pm)
vj pussycat: or trying to (10:35pm)
Wtf plugin: Iknow, who ru (10:35pm)
vj pussycat: hahaha (10:35pm)
Wtf plugin: Fropchopula (10:35pm)
Wtf plugin: Well I fed it jn to vlc so it works, it just js lame that there's not a get plugin option..not u, just technolorogy (10:36pm)
vj pussycat: well it is low power fm podcast after all (10:37pm)
Wtf plugin: Am gonna smack u (10:38pm)
vj pussycat: hahaha (10:38pm)
Wtf plugin: %uD83D%uDE19 (10:39pm)
Wtf plugin: :-* (10:39pm)
Wtf plugin: THX FEINSTEIN VJP (10:39pm)
Wtf plugin: LOL...FERNUTHIN (10:39pm)
vj pussycat: anytime wtf (10:41pm)
Wtf plugin: Ha,,\/,, (10:42pm)
nexus006: Is Bob-Marc out on the fire escape? (10:44pm)

COLONEL
Have you ever seen this DJ
before, Captain Carpenter ?

He points to a Radio Valencia DJ.

CARPENTER
No, sir.

COLONEL
This gentleman or myself ?

CARPENTER
No, sir.

COLONEL
I believe on your last job you
executed a mime in Dolores Park,
is that right ?

CARPENTER
I am not presently disposed to
discuss that, sir.

MAJOR
Very good.


COLONEL
Then you can appreciate Command's
concern over the stations's -- shall we say
'erratic' methods of operation.


MAJOR
Communications naturally dwindled
with the lack of R.V. activity,
this is routine, expected ... but
six days communication
virtually stopped.

COLONEL
About the same time -- large numbers
of DJs began leaving the area -- this in
itself is not unusual since these
people are young, lazy and broke...
-- but something
is driving them out.

CARPENTER
I only met Puzzling Evidence once.

CIVILIAN
Would he remember you ?

CARPENTER
Maybe.

COLONEL
What was your impression of him ?

CARPENTER shrugs.


CARPENTER
You want me to clean it up --
simple and quiet.

CIVILIAN
Exactly -- you'll go up the
the studio in a MUNI --
appear in the Mission as if by
accident, re-establish your
acquaintance with Puzzling Evidence,
find out what's happened -- and
why. Then terminate his command.

CARPENTER
Terminate ?

CIVILIAN
Terminate with extreme prejudice.



NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: " I don't see any method at all, sir."

Alright… so there´s this trend going around where people do yoga, smoke weed, listen to the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND and the 3 hipster bands they know and therefore think they´re happy and at peace with the world because they can walk on their hands (which is super useful). If you´re one of these peeps… well, you´re NOT!

The other day I got into a heated argument with some yogi who was talking about the world and it´s energy and how ALL we need is peace for ourselves and the world will feel our love and give some back and if our desires deviate from this in the slightest way then we´re stupid and materialistic. I proceeded to tell her two things… #1 was that I wanted some of whatever it is she was smoking and #2 was that she´s wrong, and #3 Karen Carpenter, Bob-Marc and Sherilyn Connelly could not care less about your personal enlightenment. Maybe KrOB as well.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: yeah, more Trump.

Chatroom History
May 11, 2016 10:00pm - 1:30am

Kat Herding: I hear crazy people. (10:27pm)
Kat Herding: low energy. (10:28pm)
Kat Herding: forces of darkness (10:29pm)
Kat Herding: yo ga, yo ga! (10:33pm)
Earl the Magnificent: What is a Ket Herding doing here?.. (10:34pm)
Kat Herding: supporting the namaste (10:34pm)
Earl the Magnificent: Is there a show on? (10:34pm)
Kat Herding: trump and some devil worship chick (10:35pm)
Earl the Magnificent: I came here for the podcast (10:35pm)
Kat Herding: this is it. (10:35pm)
Earl the Magnificent: Hal was having absinthe on Friday after the wifey and I dropped him off. He suggested I listen to the show. (10:36pm)
Earl the Magnificent: Yes, he actually associates with me. Under duress. (10:38pm)
Kat Herding: Trump really is crazy. (10:38pm)
Earl the Magnificent: Ever saw Gangs of New York. (10:39pm)
Kat Herding: his ranting in the background is probably the most I've ever heard of his shit. (10:39pm)
Kat Herding: no (10:40pm)
Earl the Magnificent: oh.. You ought to! Scorsese. Made entirely at Cine vita in Rime. (10:41pm)
Earl the Magnificent: Trump is sorta like a 21st Century Bill the Butcher. The part Daniel Day-Lewis plays. (10:42pm)
Earl the Magnificent: Cine it's I meant in Rome (10:42pm)
Earl the Magnificent: Cinecita (10:43pm)
Earl the Magnificent: It's a fantastic production. (10:43pm)
Karen Carpenter: Kat, we have all the Trump you MUST HEAR, in the last 25 podcasts. Carve out some time to catch up. (10:58pm)
St. Inkfinger: the record is still stuck, soeone tap the needle (11:00pm)
nexus_6: here (11:03pm)
nexus_6: Oh, I was exposed long ago. (11:06pm)

The podcasts of the Radio Valencia system can be divided into two groups, the telluric podcasts and the gas giant (or "Jovian") podcasts. The telluric planets are spherical bodies with a crust of rock, and the gas giant podcasts are spheres composed of gas and ice (Dante's Hot Tub, Illogical Contraption, Hell's Kitchen and Malderor's Curated Catastrophe).

An exopodcast (or extracommunity podcast) is a podcast orbiting a station different from Radio Valencia (the "exo" prefix means "not as excellent" in Greek). Up until now, one has found mainly gas giant podcasts, which are easier to detect than telluric podcasts. However, due to the increasing sensitivity of the detection methods, Karen Carpenter, Bob-Marc, and Sherilyn Connelly have already begun to observe the first podcasts of sizes comparable to the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: Getting all up in your Kepler.


Chatroom History
May 4, 2016 10:00pm - 1:30am

St. Inkfinger: GSH!!! Must be 1AM EDT (10:02pm)
St. Inkfinger: He's gonna pulla train? (10:26pm)
St. Inkfinger: The record's stuck. (10:40pm)

It has recently been brought to the attention of Radio Valencia's management staff that our community is overdue for Y2K training. Sure, it was sixteen and a half years ago, but that's just the kind of un-excellent attitude that results in the comptroller not getting dues collected in time. And if we don't make sure we're Y2K-compliant, then there may be sloppy back-announcing -- or even dead air between shows, and THAT CANNOT HAPPEN.

So, it has fallen to Karen Carpenter, Bob-Marc, and Sherilyn Connelly on the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND to educate staff and listener alike on how to prepare and make their podcasts Y2K-ready. (It will mostly involve getting stoned and not being sure how to answer telephone calls.)

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: The only show on Radio Valencia that's already four digits long.


Chatroom History
April 27, 2016 10:00pm - 1:30am

St. Inkfinger: Why to Kaye? (10:03pm)
St. Inkfinger: Wye too Cay (10:07pm)
St. Inkfinger: It's actually on Thanksgiving here. (10:24pm)
fropchopula: boop (11:05pm)
fropchopula: orange blossum special (11:06pm)
fropchopula: I have streaming issues are there cds available? (11:31pm)
fropchopula: wrap iT in a shirt and whistle like the wind. (11:32pm)
fropchopula: y2k is everyday (11:53pm)

When you arrive at our easy-to-find office you will be greeted by a friendly medical radio professional who will hand you the clinic questionnaire. At any time you may help yourself to water and tea that are made available to everyone. Once you fill out our questionnaire a staff member will take and record your blood pressure, height, and weight to get everything in order for you to see the doctor jerk (DJ).

When the DJ calls you in you will be able to talk with them about why you use radio and how it helps your condition and/or symptoms, and any other details that are relevant. The DJ will inform you on whatever they think is the most useful information about your health and/or your use of radio.

After seeing the DJ you will meet with another medical radio professional who will assist you with your documents. Your new medical radio letter of recommendation (two original embossed copies with seal) will be provided in a Compassionate Health Options folder where you can keep other medical records, notes, and medical radio informational materials. Keep one copy with you and the other in your car's glove box or home. For an additional fee, our staff member will also provide you with a brand new medical radio ID card. The NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND medical radio ID Card is trusted and known throughout much of Northern California. There will also be a Yelp Card in the folder, so please post a review about your experience at one of the oldest, most trusted, and compassionate medical radio clinics in California.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: Get legal radio today!


Chatroom History
April 20, 2016 10:00pm - 1:30am

Nexus006: Is this thing on? (10:39pm)
Nexus006: Smoke weel (10:48pm)
vj pussycat: I challenge you to the one gram dab challenge (10:53pm)
fropchopula: sign me up puss (11:21pm)
fropchopula: http://bit.ly/1qEEbHu (11:38pm)
vj pussycat: here you go frop: http://bit.ly/1qEEXV2 (12:00am)
fropchopula: ��� (12:39am)
fropchopula: ;) (12:39am)
fropchopula: am recording (12:39am)
fropchopula: ears am in use (12:39am)
fropchopula: do I know u? (12:40am)
fropchopula: who needs math when theres switches and pots (12:41am)
fropchopula: here vjp is for show http://bit.ly/1XJTM3D (12:51am)
fropchopula: great show cause am sick of audacity and just plugged up a few things. boopers soul runs on tape (12:54am)
fropchopula: somewhere (12:55am)
vj pussycat: nice t frop (1:02am)
vj pussycat: actually I need maths for my pots and switches and servo (1:02am)
fropchopula: eyieyie (1:03am)
vj pussycat: audacity is good for much (1:03am)
vj pussycat: but tape rules over digital (1:04am)
fropchopula: I found a honeyhole @ fleamarket.. lotsa dirty broken old stuff for $5+ (1:04am)
fropchopula: its something I wanna play with for sure. the whats happenin sound will always be tape (1:05am)
vj pussycat: radio the what's happening sound (1:06am)
vj pussycat: piece of pie? (1:06am)
fropchopula: radio is a hoax (1:06am)
fropchopula: its 3:07 here almost time for pie (1:07am)
fropchopula: heil booper (1:08am)
vj pussycat: rayyydeeo (1:09am)
fropchopula: buldada, taint no klownschtuff (1:10am)
vj pussycat: you said taint (1:10am)
fropchopula: taint stoopids day (1:11am)
fropchopula: staint haha (1:11am)
fropchopula: oops (1:11am)
vj pussycat: that's so three weeks ago (1:11am)
fropchopula: or only 54 to count (1:12am)
fropchopula: or something (1:12am)
vj pussycat: 49 (1:12am)
fropchopula: am glad ur the wizzard (1:13am)
vj pussycat: it's all about maths (1:13am)
fropchopula: fxkoff (1:13am)
vj pussycat: haha (1:13am)
fropchopula: I was spexifically informed there would be no math (1:13am)
vj pussycat: you fell for that old trick (1:14am)
fropchopula: ufxkr (1:15am)
vj pussycat: I have a crush on fibonacci (1:15am)
fropchopula: well I nailed the asvab I guess I can amskram (1:15am)
fropchopula: fee phi fo fum (1:16am)
vj pussycat: fee fi ficky fo (1:16am)
vj pussycat: fee fo fo ficky fi fo (1:17am)
fropchopula: fibos my homeboy 2.62 uface (1:18am)
fropchopula: or something (1:18am)
fropchopula: thats how they proved michelle obamas a tranny w phi (1:19am)
fropchopula: I just wanna get show played @ walmart across the country (1:21am)
fropchopula: live (1:21am)
vj pussycat: calling all rv'ers (1:23am)
fropchopula: latent pajama stumblers (1:23am)
fropchopula: rascal beepers (1:23am)
vj pussycat: hey that's me (1:23am)
fropchopula: LIKE (1:24am)

The Carter Scratch was a guitar technique invented by Maybelle Carter of the original Carter Family. She had to play both rhythm and lead guitar at the same time, which nobody had ever done before, but she was a huge badass so she went ahead and did it anyway.

Tonight on the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, Karen Carpenter, Bob-Marc, and Sherilyn Connelly will one-up Maybelle by developing the NHLG Scratch, which allows you to both be a Radio Valencia podcaster and on at 87.9FM at the same time. They were told that it couldn't be done, mostly because it's a very stupid idea, but that's never stopped them before.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: You need a phonograph to play this record.


Chatroom History
April 13, 2016 10:00pm - 1:30am

Puzzling Evidence: will not be on tonight. Good luck (10:21pm)
Puzzling Evidence: can be mean and nice at the sametime. (10:22pm)
Puzzling Evidence: says you have no Show Soul. (10:23pm)
Puzzling Evidence: says Ruan Juapido is with me. (10:23pm)
Puzzling Evidence: is going to be so good. (10:24pm)
Puzzling Evidence: is going down now. (10:24pm)
Puzzling Evidence: is going to China. (10:24pm)
Puzzling Evidence: No. (10:24pm)
Puzzling Evidence: says that LCDR E. Lin was in the the VQ Navy.. (10:25pm)
Puzzling Evidence: says I think he did. (10:26pm)
Puzzling Evidence: loves Peek Show. (10:29pm)
Puzzling Evidence: loves President Trump and Vice President Shemp. (10:30pm)
vj pussycat: what does he occasionally do to Hal? (10:41pm)
vj pussycat: when he goes into the woods? (10:42pm)
fropchopula: i had a dream i woke up (12:36am)
fropchopula: what it do magoo (12:48am)
fropchopula: great show puzz (1:16am)

How many times did Carl Sagan appear as a guest on The Tonight Show staring Johnny Carson? Six? Billions and billions? No one knows. Lost in the primeval times before the solar system formed, the handsome young Lord Sagan was sent from a galaxy sorta far way to popularize science for inbred gap-toothed insomniacs on "television", or as it is know today, picture radio. Thanks to the greatest late-night TV host, John William "Johnny" Carson (October 23, 1925 – January 23, 2005), Lord Sagan displayed some of the extreme fashions of his home world. Everyone should be delighted that Dr Karen Carpenter, Dr. Bob-Marc, Dr. Sherilyn Connelly and Herr Professor Doktor KrOB will exploit their FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND to uncover, observe, analyze and describe the stunning outfits worn on picture radio by our most famous visitor from Brooklyn.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: a turtleneck is just an uncircumcised sweater.

Chatroom History
April 6, 2016 10:00pm - 1:30am

Alan B.: I propose a NHLG devoted to The Captain and Tennille. http://bit.ly/1S41h71 (10:24pm)
Dr. Penny: Everything is an advertisement for NHLG. -- Karen Carpenter (10:25pm)
vj pussycat: what's going on y'all? I'm trying to listen to the show, but I'm currently distracted by others in the room (11:08pm)

The police today pursued Karen Carpenter along the 49 Mile Scenic Drive this evening before he finally surrendered outside Radio Valencia, ending a long day on the run.

The extraordinary pursuit, broadcast to the nation on the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAD, developed about six hours after Carpenter suddenly vanished instead of surrendering to the authorities at midday as his lawyer Bob-Marc had arranged.

The police undertook a vast manhunt and, by tracking calls placed from a cellular telephone inside a van, found him this evening in the vehicle, a white Ford Bronco, as it traveled on 280 between San Francisco and Daly City, driven by Sherilyn Connelly.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: If the podcast doesn't fit, you must trim it.

Universally acclaimed as a cinematic masterpiece, Steven Spielberg’s magical film about a boy and his newfound alien friend captured the imagination of the world. Now audiences of all ages can experience E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial as never before… with John Williams’ Academy Award-winning score performed live by a full symphony orchestra in sync to the film projected on a huge HD screen. Directed by Karen Carpenter and narrated by Bob-Marc, this FINAL BROADCAST is entirely an original idea.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: AN ENTIRELY ORIGINAL IDEA.

The live mix radio show "NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND" has been the longest-running block of free-form audio collage dedicated to the 2016 Presidential Election in radio history. With Karen Carpenter, Bob-Marc, Sherilyn Connelly and/or KrOB at the helm, the weekly show was rebroadcasting debates from Radio Valencia 87.9 FM in Berkeley California from August 2015-March 2016.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND often employs "Receptacle Programming," which means you. Phone callers are punched into our mix with no warning. Call 415-962-7979 to deposit your programming. When your phone stops ringing, you're on the air. Don't say "hello."

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: In the words of Don Joyce, "It's all been done before."

The Lincoln-Douglas debates were a series of "community" "radio" debates between the challenger, Abraham Lincoln, and the incumbent, Stephen A. Douglas, in a campaign for determine the size of Lincoln's penis. Although Lincoln lost the election, these debates launched him into national prominence which eventually led to his election as Comptroller of Radio Valencia.

Lincoln and Douglas agreed to debate on the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND. Douglas would open with an hour address vis a vis Lincoln's baby hands and what those represent. Karen Carpenter and Bob-Marc would then speak for an hour and a half, Lincoln would have a half hour rebuttal, and then Jesus wept.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: Working to form a more stupid union.

Chatroom History
March 9, 2016 10:00pm - 1:30am
vj pussycat: shrimp shrimp (10:23pm)
Nexus006: Plate-o-shrimp (10:43pm)
Dr. Penny: The chiseled adonis elbows of BobMarc. (10:49pm)

"Super Wednesday," which is scheduled for the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, refers to the night when a dozen radio stations (and one excellent community) will hold their nominating contests for new comptrollers. Generally, "Super Wednesday" is the unofficial name for a Wednesday during the comptroller primary election when the DJs hold their nominating contests.

The concept originated in 2013 for two main reasons: the consolidation of DJs, and organization of shows. The Excellent Ones wanted to highlight the electoral significance of their region by grouping states on a single day of voting. The arrangement also helps make the party primaries less parochial by forcing Karen Carpenter, Sherilyn Connelly, and KrOB to campaign nationwide.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: More like STUPID Wednesday, amirite?

Chatroom History
March 2, 2016 10:00pm - 1:30am
Nexus006: L.B.J. had a Fresca soda fountain installed in the Oval Office. (10:37pm)

Article II, Clause 2:
NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND shall have Power, blah blah, to make Treaties, blah; and NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND shall nominate, and blah blah blah, shall appoint Ambassadors, other public Ministers and Consuls, Judges of the supreme Court, Radio Valencia DJs, and all other Officers of the United States, whose Appointments are not herein otherwise provided for, and which shall be established by Law: but the Congress may by Law vest the Appointment of such inferior Officers and unpaid DJs, as they think proper, in NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND alone, in the Courts of Law, or in the Heads of Departments.

Article II, Clause 3:
NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND shall have Power to fill up all Vacancies that may happen due to unpaid DJ dues rightfully levied, by granting Commissions which shall expire at the End of their next Show Slot, or until Back Dues are paid in full.

Article II, Clause 4:
Should the appointment occur during the FINAL BROADCAST, the non-paying DJs of Radio Valencia, in addition to Jon Fast, shall demonstrate their EXCELLENT COMMUNITY, then have a sad over the unimpeachable authority of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: BLAH BLAH BLAH.


Chatroom History
February 24, 2016 10:00pm - 1:30am
The Show: The Audience (11:50pm)
The Show: is fucking. (11:50pm)

Who would have predicted the sheer brilliance of Sherilyn Connelly for force feeding our listener the unmitigated horror of every Republican debate this election cycle? Certainly not I, Karen Carpenter, nor he, Bob-Marc, or That Darned KrOB. We're not going to sugar coat this bitter pill anymore. Eat it. Eat it and get ready for more. With tonight's FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, our political team will complete coverage of 9 Republican debates, with 3 more to go. Oh, wait... you say we've been unusually cruel? There are at least 2 more Democratic debates, so wipe your tears, Chester, the fun is far from over!

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: Be quiet, or we'll start replaying TV awards shows.

Chatroom History
February 17, 2016 10:00pm - 1:30am

Dr. Penny: NHLG conquers the elections. (10:08pm)
Dr. Penny: NHLG conquers the nation. (10:12pm)
Dr. Penny: Is Karen's hair gray or blond? (10:13pm)
Dr. Penny: A bigger, lower maintenance boat for the Mission Martian. (10:19pm)
Dr. Penny: "Sexhurt, it's for the children." (10:23pm)
Dr. Penny: The bell rings, the next candidate salivates. (10:26pm)
Dr. Penny: But who doesn't love white russians????? (10:29pm)
vj pussycat: trump's eyes are $ $ (10:40pm)
vj pussycat: trump = %u20AC$$>{} (10:41pm)
vj pussycat: that's a big bear (10:41pm)
Eonomic viability: party on, yo (11:09pm)
Economic viability: Did somebody mention my name? (11:10pm)
Donald Trump: You know, this show isn't very good. (11:12pm)
Donald Trump: I have listened to a lot of shows. I know many good shows. (11:13pm)
Donald Trump: this show is not good. (11:13pm)
Donald Trump: I can tell you, if I am elected president, I will make sure that there will be better shows available for the American people. (11:15pm)
Donald Trump: Are the still bitching about the old lady? They got that all wrong. (11:16pm)
Donald Trump: Like that fruitcake knows what I think about the 2ond amendment... (11:18pm)
Donald Trump: I got your liberal right here, Cruz. (11:19pm)
Donald Trump: I get along with everybody. (11:20pm)
Donald Trump: WHen my dad gave me that small loan, do you think I would have made so much out o it if I couldn't get along with people? The guy has nothing... (11:21pm)
Donald Trump: I think about my children all the time. (11:22pm)
Donald Trump: This guy coul suck the chrome off a fender. That is how much this guy sucks. (11:24pm)