September 17, 2014 10:00pm


Nose Hair Lint Gland
"Better to sleep with a sober cannibal than a drunk Christian."

The white whale looms from the depths of your subconscious, haunting your distracted thoughts. It envelopes your sleepless nights growing larger , heavier, crowding out all other motivations and goals . The white whale is your obsession, nothing else matters, you focus on the white whale with laser guided precision. . What is this white whale, is it a force of good or evil. Perhaps the whale is neither, it is neutral and the good or evil is in how you act to attain your goal, to fulfill your obsession. What is your white whale?

On tonight's FINAL BROADCAST OF NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, Karen "Ahab" Carpenter, Sherilyn "Queequeg" Connelly , Bob "Starbuck" Marc with the help of fellow crew members "Ishmael" KrOB and EXPLORE OBSESSION and those who sacrifice greatly to reach their own personal; NIRVANA.
All who stand in our way shall perish. Also, KrOB and Sherilyn pin the living shit out of the meters.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: "For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men."

Karen Carpenter: Nice clean opening... well done. (10:00pm)
Alan B.: I missed it! (10:04pm)
Alan B.: Demerit! (10:07pm)
Alan B.: Aaaaaand they unplugged the board again, (10:08pm)
Alan B.: Get well, Karen!! (10:10pm)
Alan B.: WE LOVE MRS KAREN! (10:11pm)
Alan B.: 1000 PERCENT LESS SNARK (10:12pm)
Alan B.: How do we do it? VOLUME! (10:12pm)
Alan B.: GOODBYE, MRS KAREN! (10:13pm)
Dr. Penny: The little mrs. (10:13pm)
vj pussycat: whatever you do karen, don't eat that ham sandwich (10:13pm)
Alan B.: Oh, Sherilyn. I am honored. (10:14pm)
Alan B.: I thought about it and I don't want to punch anybody. (10:14pm)
KrOB?: tell Mrs. to speak closer to the mike and give Bob-Marc a demerit for not fixing it for her. (10:15pm)
Alan B.: I would have trolled ham operators, too, if I hadn't been a huge pussy. (10:15pm)
vj pussycat: maybe she dpesn't have a mic condom (10:15pm)
vj pussycat: i can hear her fine anyway (10:16pm)
Alan B.: Was there a ceremonial burning of the Karen Carpenter mic? (10:16pm)
vj pussycat: karen germs (10:16pm)
Aslan: *(&^&*%^%#$^$(^_ (10:16pm)
KrOB?: ponton is racist (10:17pm)
vj pussycat: to who? (10:17pm)
KrOB?: poontangs (10:17pm)
Alan B.: Oregonians. (10:17pm)
vj pussycat: like herzog (10:19pm)
Alan B.: Ponton or pontoon styling refers to a 1930s%u20131960s design genre%u2014ultimately the precursor of modern automotive styling. (10:19pm)
vj pussycat: does not compute (10:20pm)
Alan B.: The Langenscheidt German-English dictionary defines Pontonkarrosserie as "all-enveloping bodywork, straight through side styling, slab sided styling. (10:20pm)
Alan B.: (10:22pm)
vj pussycat: you sure got some perty lips (10:23pm)
Alan B.: Is this contractor talk? (10:24pm)
vj pussycat: bigfoot rubs his ass - i think not (10:25pm)
Alan B.: "Whiteman Meets Bigfoot." (10:26pm)
Alan B.: That's who that was! (10:31pm)
vj pussycat: it totally sounded like you (10:31pm)
Dr. Penny: BobMarc, the Mission Martian! (10:31pm)
Alan B.: It's Moby Dick. (10:32pm)
Aslan: diggin it.... (10:32pm)
Alan B.: Mrs. Karen has an awesome radio voice. (10:33pm)
Alan B.: Work work. Workworkwork. (10:34pm)
Alan B.: FUCK OFF SWEDEN!!!!! (10:36pm)
Aslan: love this song. I'm doing creative work right now and this augment my consciousness. (10:36pm)
Alan B.: Cooool. (10:36pm)
Alan B.: The Interent hates Karen. (10:39pm)
KrOB?: tooooo sickkkkkk (10:39pm)
vj pussycat: he has the technology (10:40pm)
Alan B.: He has the wrong password or port. (10:43pm)
Alan B.: Welcome, hackers. (10:43pm)
Alan B.: We have the technology (10:44pm)
vj pussycat: it was like two or three weeks ago (10:45pm)
Alan B.: Dave Thomas of Pere Ubu and I probably have the same belt size. (10:47pm)
Alan B.: Nice Styx pull, you guys. (10:48pm)
Alan B.: Droplets of love. (10:51pm)
Alan B.: "I'm young and healthy." Mrs. Karen (10:52pm)
Alan B.: H.A.L. ucinnations (10:54pm)
Alan B.: Index Case: (10:55pm)
Alan B.: How are we doing out here in the audience? VJ, Aslan, Dr. Penny? Are we hale and hearty? (10:56pm)
Alan B.: Nitrous oxide . . . the best thing for your immune system. (10:57pm)
Alan B.: ICH HASSE BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN!\inetpub\cms\ images\gross\pict1045.jpg&h=250&w= 250 (10:58pm)
Karen Carpenter: Mrs. tell them about our X-Men thingie now (10:58pm)
Alan B.: HOLY FUCKING SHIT! (10:59pm)
Alan B.: (10:59pm)
Alan B.: I love the flange effect of the two Venoms. (11:00pm)
Alan B.: Including the French. (11:01pm)
Alan B.: Will it kick my balls off? (11:02pm)
Alan B.: Just because (11:03pm)
Alan B.: Karen is withdrawing further into isolation. (11:04pm)
Karen Carpenter: even Lucifer just wanted to be left alone (11:04pm)
Alan B.: Add to cart: (11:05pm)
Alan B.: Usually leaves our warehouse in 1 business day (11:05pm)
Alan B.: (11:06pm)
Alan B.: He was invited by the "cool kids" to hang out at some kids house whose liberal parents had left for the weekend. (11:07pm)
Alan B.: My brother, always a moral and thoughtful individual, wanted to attend because it was one of those massive house parties that he'd never been to. (11:07pm)
Alan B.: Well, as was later recalled by some of his friends at the party, he was pressured into smoking marijuana. He ended up smoking the entire pack of marijuana cigarettes. (11:07pm)
Alan B.: Not long after he went into convulsions and started foaming at the mouth. The people at the party held back calling 9/11 for almost 10 minutes. (11:07pm)
Alan B.: When the paramedics finally arrived they could do nothing to save him. (11:07pm)
Alan B.: The autopsy revealed he had 3 times the lethal dosage of blood in his THC. (11:07pm)
Alan B.: But I'm sure everyone here will deny my story and the fact that my brother died after smoking that illegal narcotic. (11:08pm)
Alan B.: (11:09pm)
Alan B.: KrOB, that is a family favorite. (11:13pm)
Karen Carpenter: (11:18pm)
Alan B.: It's like karaoke on the brain injury ward. (11:20pm)
Alan B.: If this is what you get to watch when you are home sick for three weeks, I'm gonna start sucking on doorknobs. (11:21pm)
Alan B.: I wanna hear about the X-Men thingie. (11:24pm)
Alan B.: I'm so glad BobMarc's back, the pandering is at a record high level. (11:26pm)
Alan B.: And no ham radio jamming. (11:27pm)
Alan B.: X-men thingie (11:29pm)
Alan B.: X-men thingie (11:29pm)
Alan B.: X-men thingie (11:29pm)
Alan B.: Dr. H.AL. told us that the Man was a collossus that fell on its face when ignited. (11:30pm)
Alan B.: BONE ROCKS (11:35pm)
Alan B.: Read it all. (11:35pm)
Alan B.: HIGHLY recommended for young readers: Larry Marder's Tales of the Beanworld (11:36pm)
Alan B.: Better link: (11:36pm)
Alan B.: Well done w/Kane mutiny. (11:40pm)
Alan B.: Or maybe not. Wait: (11:41pm)
Alan B.: Fuck, the chatboard can't parse the space in the URL. (11:41pm)
Alan B.: (11:42pm)
Alan B.: ^^^ There we go. (11:42pm)
Alan B.: Where's Nexus666? (11:45pm)
Alan B.: I need to catch up on 6 hours of Puzz Ev (11:47pm)
Alan B.: David , ¿dónde están mis cigarrillos ? (11:48pm)
Alan B.: David , où sont mes cigarettes ? (11:48pm)
Alan B.: David , waar is my sigarette ? (11:49pm)
Alan B.: %u5927%u536B%u90A3%u91CC%u662F%u6211 %u7684%u70DF%u5462%uFF1F (11:49pm)
Alan B.: David , kie estas miaj cigaredojn ? (11:49pm)
Alan B.: David , wo sind meine Zigaretten ? (11:49pm)
Alan B.: David , qhov twg yog kuv luam yeeb? (11:50pm)
Alan B.: Thanks for doing show, Mrs. Karen! (11:51pm)
Alan B.: A starfleet officer. That guy. (11:54pm)
Alan B.: Goodnight, all. (11:56pm)

<- back to podcasts