Once there were three monkeys: a red monkey (Karen Carpenter), a blue monkey (Bob-Marc) and a yellow monkey (Sherilyn Connelly). They lived on a giant triangle, and every day they would walk around the triangle, keeping an exact distance from one another. The yellow monkey followed the blue monkey, the blue monkey followed the red monkey, and the red monkey followed the yellow monkey.

Three times a day they would defecate on the corners of the triangle. The yellow monkey ate the blue monkey shit, the blue monkey ate the red monkey shit, and the red monkey ate the shit from the yellow monkey.

Then, on the the FINAL BROADAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, the blue monkey grew tired of the yellow monkey following him around all day. So he waited on the corner and he killed her. He then resumed his route.

At the next corner was some red monkey shit,
At the next corner waited nothing.
At the next corner was the dead yellow monkey.
At the next corner was the dead red monkey, who had missed two meals and died.
At the next corner waited nothing again.
At the next corner was the dead yellow monkey.
At the next corner was the dead red monkey.
At the next corner still waited nothing.

So the blue monkey sat down on the corner and waited for things to get better.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: With apologies to Cory McAbee, and nobody else.

Chatroom History
March 19, 2014 10:00pm - 4:30am

Alan B.: Okay, I guess DNS farted. (10:18pm)
Alan B.: No, you can shittalk me. I don't mind. (10:18pm)
Alan B.: There is some kind of intermittent connection problem. (10:20pm)
Alan B.: HERE COMES THE FUCKING ASTEROID WE ARE ALL GONNA DIE (10:20pm)
Alan B.: Oooooooo, look at BobMarc! (10:20pm)
Alan B.: The next celestial event begins in 17:33 seconds http://bit.ly/1fIXUZI (10:22pm)
Alan B.: LOL Edie Brickell and the Auto-Erotic Suicides (10:23pm)
Alan B.: There is a Chicago Radio gag to the effect that, every time you turn to WXRT-FM, they are playing Edie Brickell and the New Bohemians (10:23pm)
Alan B.: Do I have to sign up to see this SLOOH thing? (10:24pm)
Alan B.: Okay, I figured it out. Click on ASTEROID ECLIPSES STAR (10:25pm)
Alan B.: When Dr. Hal comes to forcibly do things to you at midnight, just lay back and think of England, dear. (10:26pm)
Alan B.: Someboyd get Dr. Hal a beer. (10:26pm)
Karen Carpenter: http://bit.ly/1fIXUZI (10:27pm)
Alan B.: 12:47 until we are obliterated (10:27pm)
Alan B.: krOb sounds like he fell down a well. (10:28pm)
Alan B.: It adds texture. He's a bit louder. (10:31pm)
Alan B.: OCD proof that RV was down. http://bit.ly/1fIXUZI (10:31pm)
Alan B.: Wrong link. Here we go: http://bit.ly/1fIYsyJ (10:31pm)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/1fIYsyJ (10:32pm)
Alan B.: I hope somebody has some Lancelot Link ready to go. (10:32pm)
Alan B.: Lancelot Link - The Chilling Chump Chase http://bit.ly/1fIYxT8 (10:33pm)
Alan B.: I guess it's a visual thing. And who the fuck is Ed Sullivan? (10:33pm)
Alan B.: (Anyway, you know . . . chimps are apes.) (10:33pm)
Alan B.: DOOOOOOOCHEBAAAAAAAAG. (10:34pm)
Dr. Penny: It's a funky monkey. http://bit.ly/1fIYDtU (10:34pm)
Sherilyn: http://bit.ly/1fIYDKw (10:34pm)
Alan B.: +1 Internets for Dr. Penny (10:35pm)
Alan B.: Who was scintillating on Ask Dr. Hal on Friday. (10:35pm)
Dr. Penny: :) (10:35pm)
Alan B.: You know. . . back when Radio Valencia WORKED. (10:35pm)
Alan B.: Goddamn, Sherilyn, just . . . goddamn. (10:36pm)
Alan B.: Why is kr0b in the Low-Gain seat traditionally occupied by BobMarc? (10:37pm)
Alan B.: DJ 50 San Franciscos (10:39pm)
Alan B.: The gayest DJ (10:39pm)
Alan B.: But everyone in "Tickle Me" is wearing white panties. (10:40pm)
Alan B.: Hey, Pete, this lack of delivery is awesome. (10:40pm)
Alan B.: There needs to be a name for these kr0b-isms. Like Rich Hall had Snigletts, which was only slighty cute/racist (10:42pm)
Alan B.: Put monkey brains in your Large Hadron Collider (10:43pm)
Alan B.: Okay, Pete, delivery has started. (10:43pm)
Alan B.: I'm watching my browser and listening to delayed audio on Radio Valencia SO MUCH MEAT (10:44pm)
Alan B.: META (10:44pm)
Alan B.: META MEAT (10:44pm)
Alan B.: I'M GONNA KICK YOU RIGHT IN THE TELESCOPE, LIMEY! (10:44pm)
Alan B.: This looks like Pac Man. Big dot, little dot. (10:45pm)
Alan B.: That's why the Space Guy Rambling is the only part of ADH you can uploatd to YouTube, because kr0b has lost the will to mix. (10:46pm)
Alan B.: Hey, your little do is in my big dot! (10:47pm)
Alan B.: What the hell do these limeys have to do with monkeys? (10:47pm)
Alan B.: MIRTH CLOCK (10:48pm)
Dr. Penny: It could disappear like an airplane in the South Pacific. (10:48pm)
Alan B.: It's the Time Thrust that really drives you insane. (10:48pm)
Dr. Penny: I remember. (10:48pm)
Alan B.: CNN told me that the airplane was swept up by Jehovah. (10:49pm)
Alan B.: Why is Fred Flintstone iradicating humans? (10:50pm)
Dr. Penny: JHVH-1 (10:50pm)
Alan B.: Those souls belong to the Space Bankers, now. (10:51pm)
Alan B.: Low-power monkey license (10:51pm)
Alan B.: Is the Radio Valencia Council of Elders as boring as The Phantom Menace? http://bit.ly/1fIZYB9 (10:52pm)
Alan B.: Tweeter and the Monkey Man: http://bit.ly/1fJ0izM (10:55pm)
Sherilyn: http://bit.ly/1fJ0q2d (10:57pm)
Alan B.: In your monkey suit, you just look like a monkey! http://bit.ly/1fJ0y1G (10:58pm)
Alan B.: (Pssst, Sherilyn . . . ape.) (10:59pm)
Alan B.: And the version of Monkey Suit that doesn't sound like shit: http://bit.ly/1fJ0I9c (11:00pm)
Alan B.: Atari 2600 Donkey Kong looks like an asteroid passing in front of some star or something. (11:01pm)
Alan B.: Watch out for flying monkey poop. (11:02pm)
Sherilyn: This cover always freaked me out as a kid: http://bit.ly/1fJ0UFs (11:03pm)
Alan B.: As it should!! (11:03pm)
Alan B.: Seriously? Nobody has seen fit to depricate Cymbal-banging monkey toy? http://bit.ly/1fJ13IX (11:04pm)
Alan B.: Submitted for your approval: http://bit.ly/1fJ16V7 (11:05pm)
Alan B.: I see Saturn. (11:06pm)
Alan B.: <3 (11:06pm)
Alan B.: Earliest childhood memory: Grandma in Florida mailed us red plastic Banana Splits promotional cereal bowls. Best grandma ever. (11:07pm)
Alan B.: Here's another monkey reference with very little audio payoff: Organ-grinder's monkey http://bit.ly/1fJ1rYa (11:10pm)
Alan B.: Jocko Homo means "Monkey Man." (11:12pm)
Alan B.: Mothersbaugh was a student at Kent State University when a friend gave him a pamphlet called "Jocko Homo, Heaven Bound King of the Apes." (11:12pm)
Alan B.: It was a religious pamphlet debunking evolution, (11:13pm)
Alan B.: explaining how absurd the idea was (11:14pm)
Alan B.: that a man (11:14pm)
Alan B.: would descend (11:14pm)
Alan B.: from a monkey (11:14pm)
Alan B.: You know that God made man, but he used a monkey to do it. (11:15pm)
Alan B.: Apes in the plan, and we're all here to do it. (11:15pm)
Alan B.: prove it. http://bit.ly/1fJ1Ppq (11:15pm)
Alan B.: Jocko Homo, Heavenbound King of the Zoo http://bit.ly/1fJ1UcO (11:17pm)
Dr. Penny: After 5+ days of creation, it only took 1 day to create humans. (11:18pm)
Alan B.: To create man. Then, it took 15 minutes and bone to make a woman. (11:19pm)
Dr. Penny: lickety split (11:19pm)
Alan B.: Infinite monkey theorem http://bit.ly/1fJ28AH (11:20pm)
Alan B.: Digital monkeys with typewriters recreate Shakespeare http://cnn.it/1fJ2bMW (11:20pm)
Alan B.: Curly Howard was the master of film comedy. I state this unapologetically. (11:25pm)
Alan B.: Get out our hankey: The Final Years of Curly (of Three Stooges Fame) http://bit.ly/1fJ2zLd (11:25pm)
Alan B.: Failed Marriage (11:27pm)
Alan B.: Stroke Aftermath (11:27pm)
Alan B.: Declining Health (11:27pm)
Alan B.: Last Days (11:28pm)
Alan B.: "Gee Jules, I guess I'll never be able to make the children laugh again." (11:28pm)
Alan B.: RATINGS POISON (11:29pm)
Alan B.: Who hasn't Lindsay Lohan fucked? http://some.ly/1fJ2XcF (11:31pm)
Alan B.: Somebody over there was young in the 1970s. (11:32pm)
Alan B.: Doppleganger, turn in your badge and gun. (11:36pm)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/1fJ3oDX (11:38pm)
Alan B.: Schock den Affen http://bit.ly/1fJ3pHZ (11:39pm)
Alan B.: Monkeys and apes in space http://bit.ly/1fJ3uLN (11:41pm)
Alan B.: Did NASA Leave Monkeys In Space? NASA KILLED 10 MONKEYS http://bit.ly/1fJ3ICG//youtu.be/Y8Im DoWjwUg?t=38s (11:44pm)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/1fJ3M5a (11:44pm)
Alan B.: ^^^ working link (11:44pm)
Alan B.: MARK MARK MARK THEY ARE PERFORMING EXPERIMENTS ON ANIMALS IN SPACE THEY ARE PERFORMING (11:45pm)
Alan B.: HORRIBLE (11:45pm)
Alan B.: Steve Wilcox Options for this story Curley: Dr. I'm troubled by TS, Moe: TS? Curley: Yes, Two stomachs. (11:46pm)
Alan B.: Grumble. I hit refresh by accident and lost my stream. (11:48pm)
Alan B.: So, PE is now The Storytellers? (11:49pm)
Alan B.: Best. Part. Of. The. Show: hosts make monkey sounds (11:49pm)
Alan B.: DR. HAL WILL HAVE HIS WAY WITH YOU ALL. (11:50pm)
Alan B.: In this episode: Dr. Fiasco touches BobMarc's meat. (11:51pm)
Alan B.: G'nite, lovely people. It was nice to be missed. (11:54pm)
Alan B.: Space never pays off. (11:55pm)
Alan B.: MMMM (11:56pm)
Alan B.: h a l (11:57pm)
Alan B.: Dr. Hal (11:57pm)
Alan B.: Wow, you can't type Doctor H A L (11:58pm)
Alan B.: Okay, you can. (11:58pm)
Alan B.: Zero boy (11:59pm)
Alan B.: Why, Sherilyn?! (12:00am)
Alan B.: I sense that attendees will see boobies. (12:02am)
Alan B.: ASK DR HAL AT THE DARK ROOM THEATRE 10 PM SATURDAY (12:02am)
Alan B.: Don't worry, I'll send money when told to. (12:03am)
Alan B.: April 11, 2014 (12:03am)
Alan B.: is the second Friday of next month. (12:04am)
Alan B.: LARGEST HADRONS EVER (12:04am)
Alan B.: Don't lose the show, bro. (12:05am)
Alan B.: And don't forget to throw the motherfucking fan out the window. (12:05am)
Alan B.: LEAVE EARL ALONE!!! (12:05am)
Alan B.: Hal really needs to let Sherilyn know how fucking awsome she is. (12:06am)
Alan B.: I miss the monkeys. (12:07am)
Alan B.: In this segment: People whine about work. (12:10am)
Alan B.: Landing the first Israeli spacecraft on the moon: http://bit.ly/PSpUFB (12:11am)
Alan B.: A rat done bit my sister Nell, and landsmen on the moon. (12:12am)
Alan B.: Don't talk to Pete about SubDeenies, he hates that. (12:13am)
Alan B.: THERE BE HADRONS HERE! (12:14am)
Alan B.: Seething Paris sites. (12:20am)
Alan B.: Dr. Hal's forceful stalking. (12:22am)
Alan B.: Vagitarians. (12:22am)
Alan B.: I loved that Lego movie. Go see it. (12:27am)
Alan B.: Scandal at KPFA!! (12:33am)
Alan B.: Doug is thrown under the bus by the best. (12:34am)
Alan B.: Will you fucking go home, I need to sleep. (12:42am)

During every Golden Age of Television, and within the Beige, Taupe and lesser colored ages, there is always one constant... It is always the COPPER AGE of TELEVISION. Dragnet, Cannon, Baretta, Hill Street Blues, 21 Jump Street, Mod Squad, Shield, Wire, Miami Vice, Homicide, and Car 54, Where Are You? all remind us we are attracted to police on TV more than cats on the Internet. It's down right criminal.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, with the assistance of Detective Karen Carpenter, Cadet Bob-Marc, and Sgt. Sherilyn Connelly, along with Commissioner KrOB, and Crossing-Guard Puzzling Evidence will give the 3rd degree to the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: Donuts.


Chatroom History
March 12, 2014 10:00pm - 4:30am

Sesame Street alien: Earth book say: pot (10:20pm)
vj pussycat: has alan b. been kidnapped? (10:51pm)
Sherilyn: http://bit.ly/1ifFsNo (11:19pm)
vj pussycat: that's my homepage (11:23pm)
Sherilyn: The Shield on Robot Chicken: http://bit.ly/1cTw1Uq (11:52pm)
No One Show: Police Overdose (11:59pm)
No One Show: Police Over Dose Cops (11:59pm)
Mustache PI: I can do that (11:59pm)
Mustache PI: Where are my whites? (12:00am)
thefuZZyFArt: good showage guys (12:36am)
thefuZZyFArt: perfect cast (12:36am)
Pancakes: Youre on (12:46am)
Pancakes: in your chicken (12:55am)
thefuZZyFArt: i want some frop (1:10am)
thefuZZyFArt: frop¥ (1:10am)
thefuZZyFArt: great show bendecos (1:13am)
thefuZZyFArt: ey bendecos (1:13am)
thefuZZyFArt: obumhole (1:13am)
thefuZZyFArt: how do you get a girl to pick cotton~? (1:20am)
thefuZZyFArt: you light her string on fire (1:20am)
The Audience: with a nougat... (2:37am)

Welcome to Radio Valencia Public Access!

Public access radio is your opportunity to create your vision and get your voice heard. Any San Francisco resident or community organization is welcome to air a show on Radio Valencia Public Access, wherever it is made. We do not edit, preview, or take any editorial control over the content of a show. Producers airing programs on Radio Valencia Public Access may use our remote camera/lighting packages, or our edit suites to produce their shows, or they can produce their shows using other resources.

Whether you want to produce your own show or you'd just like to volunteer on someone else's, we have training classes so that you can learn the elements of production and how to use our equipment. We also have an intern program, also known as the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND which is designed for people who want a more structured, in-depth training experience in video production -- people like Karen Carpenter, Bob-Marc, Sherilyn Connelly, or even KrOB and Puzzling Evidence. .

Remember, radio is in your hands! Whether you think thousands of people will want to hear your show, or maybe just the people on your block, public access radio is waiting for you!

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: We are pursuant to Section 611 of the Communications Act.

Chatroom History
March 5, 2014 10:00pm - 4:30am

Alan B.: I'm completely lost with no Facebook invite. (10:09pm)
Alan B.: Wayne's World, party time, excellent. (10:09pm)
Alan B.: I feel uninvited with no Facebook invite. (10:11pm)
Alan B.: What really amuses me is that my communications degree focused on the intense power of public access television for social change. (10:12pm)
Alan B.: Chips. (10:13pm)
Alan B.: I'm convinced that, beyond Wayne's World, public access changed diddly squat. (10:14pm)
Alan B.: YOU LEFT THE MOTHERFUCKING WINDOW OPEN YOU DUMB MOTHERFUCKERS! (10:15pm)
Alan B.: Bob-Marc played the entire show into cue. (10:16pm)
Alan B.: Into the recursive. (10:16pm)
Alan B.: Summer's Eve? (10:17pm)
Alan B.: What other anachonisms will be extensively covered by NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND? Leaded gas? Bell bottoms? Music videos? (10:21pm)
Dr. Penny: Lead bell music (10:23pm)
Alan B.: We're you invited, Dr. Penny? I'm crashing this party. (10:23pm)
Dr. Penny: Nobody is invited, just show up --- like all the listeners. (10:24pm)
Alan B.: (I wouldn't have seen it anyway, I was asleep.) (10:24pm)
Alan B.: You could be serving the community, just like Non-profit Burning Man: http://bit.ly/1fa0ub2 (10:25pm)
Alan B.: Seriously, I believed all this horseshit about public access. Turns out that it is simply a megaphone for narcissism. (10:26pm)
Alan B.: Okay, now I get it -- the partners of Burning Man are no longer on the hook for liability. (10:27pm)
Alan B.: So wait %u2013 does this mean the Founders have stepped back and given everything to charity? Well, not quite. It sounds nice, and Larry calls it %u201Cthe truth%u201D, but unfortunately, it ain%u2019t %u201Cthe truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth%u201D. (10:29pm)
Alan B.: ew, sorry, that's ugly. (10:30pm)
Alan B.: MOTHERFUCKING WINDOW! (10:31pm)
Alan B.: If you had been at the MEETINGS you would know about the MOTHERFUCKING WINDOW issue. (10:32pm)
Alan B.: Brilliant. (10:32pm)
Alan B.: I think BABYMETAL needs to be on public access. http://bit.ly/1fa1k7r (10:34pm)
Sherilyn: My public access adventure: http://bit.ly/1fa1tYx (10:36pm)
Alan B.: Breaking down the door (10:42pm)
Alan B.: My friend tried to sell AccesSF on a half-hour series whrere he pointed a camera at a brick wall. (10:42pm)
Alan B.: They were interested. . . (10:43pm)
Sherilyn: I was about to say, they aren't legally allowed to NOT be interested. (10:43pm)
Alan B.: Exactly. (10:44pm)
Sherilyn: '... says Radio Valencia has "a huge responsibility now that KUSF is gone" %u2014 give or take KUSF's online incarnation %u2014 and that Radio Valencia is the door on which "bands, writers, performers, local politicians, and activists" are all knocking: "We're the bullhorn for the Mission."' (10:44pm)
Alan B.: There ARE a lot of DJs. Do they have an audience? (10:44pm)
Alan B.: Sherilyn, this high-angle camerawork in "Pilot" reveals -- in your gaze -- a species-ist disregard for the dignity of the subject. (10:47pm)
Alan B.: And the floor is messy. (10:47pm)
Alan B.: Nice looking pussy, though. (10:48pm)
Alan B.: Ahhhhhh . . . my invitation FINALLY arrived. (10:49pm)
Karen Carpenter: you are late! (10:50pm)
Alan B.: I had no idea how to dress! (10:50pm)
Alan B.: excavation ditch (10:53pm)
Alan B.: Wow, (10:55pm)
Alan B.: I can't (10:55pm)
Alan B.: post this sentence: (10:56pm)
Alan B.: Sorry, the invite was hidden (10:56pm)
Alan B.: from my by (10:56pm)
Alan B.: Facebook. (10:56pm)
Alan B.: Or, I had just woken up and missed it. (10:56pm)
Alan B.: Shaggs approved. (10:57pm)
Alan B.: I LOVE this show for its anachronistic Dick Cavett references. (10:58pm)
Alan B.: Smoking marijuana during a broadcast is very unprofessional. (10:59pm)
Alan B.: Required NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND reading: (11:01pm)
Alan B.: http://amzn.to/1fa3DY8 (11:01pm)
Alan B.: FauxMax (11:03pm)
Alan B.: Okay, here's my prank chatterbox post: (11:04pm)
Alan B.: "Cocking suck my fuck!" (11:05pm)
Alan B.: Damn! (11:05pm)
Alan B.: SciFi nerds get their narcissism handled in a different way than public access. (11:10pm)
Alan B.: Like angry letters in the pages of Starlog. (11:10pm)
Sherilyn: Angry letters like these? http://bit.ly/1hO4qmM (11:11pm)
Alan B.: Oh. My. God. (11:12pm)
Karen Carpenter: http://bit.ly/1hO4z9R (11:12pm)
Alan B.: That arm sweep made me tingle. (11:12pm)
Alan B.: The Norwegian podcast is in Norwegian. (11:15pm)
Alan B.: "I love your mag, but you didn't even mention my name as the owner of the van . . . " (11:16pm)
Alan B.: This Startlog blog post . . . it's full of stars. . . . (11:17pm)
Alan B.: Contractor talkzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz (11:17pm)
Alan B.: Bacon-wrapped barrel sander. (11:18pm)
Sherilyn: He's my favorite, the ""You didn't even mention my name!!!" guy. (11:20pm)
Alan B.: He needs a public access show. (11:20pm)
Alan B.: K-tel Records "Captain of the Starship" commercial 1978 http://bit.ly/1hO69sk (11:23pm)
Alan B.: MOTHERFUCKING (11:24pm)
Alan B.: Steve Dahl actually was doing that, handing out flashdrives with a sample and a Web page for signing up. But it's too expensive. (11:29pm)
Dr. Penny: The corner of the window slides and cuts into the vagina. (11:29pm)
Alan B.: That window hurts my vagina. (11:29pm)
Alan B.: Now he gives away free samples, but NHLG is already free. (11:30pm)
Alan B.: I believe that this podcast is commodification-proof. (11:30pm)
Alan B.: I'll pay the April bill for the show if you guys pull the new fan down and destory it on the air. (11:31pm)
Alan B.: No, just kidding. (11:32pm)
Alan B.: When did THAT happen?! (11:34pm)
Alan B.: MO. THER. FUCK. ING. (11:35pm)
Alan B.: I'm gonna just say that this Starlog piece is a real thing of beauty. (11:44pm)
Sherilyn: Thanks! There's seven others like it, and there will probably be more, but it hasn't been a high priority (and the demand has not been paticularly great). (11:45pm)
Alan B.: My focus on nerddom was The Comics Buyers' Guide and The Comics Journal, the latter of which had its own history with Harlan Ellison. (11:46pm)
Alan B.: Nattional Lampoon Radio Dinner. BOOM! (11:48pm)
Alan B.: Karen Carpenter, you were perfectly correct that this Over The Edge podcast featuring Firesign Theatre and Bob and Ray is worth everyone's time and should be downloaded now: http://bit.ly/1hO9DLi (11:50pm)
Alan B.: They're dropping like flies. (11:51pm)
Alan B.: Oh, is it Kennedy O'clock again already? (11:54pm)
Alan B.: Electra woman and Dyna Girl episode 1 part1/1 http://bit.ly/1hOabAS (11:55pm)
Alan B.: Activate electrachange! (11:57pm)
Alan B.: Orrrrrannnnnngggggge. (11:58pm)
Alan B.: Cocksucking (11:59pm)
Alan B.: I have been missing the KrOB remix. (12:01am)
Alan B.: G'nite, and close the motherfucking window. (12:01am)
Alan B.: Malcom X John-Lennon? Come on in and dig your mother. (12:03am)

Take the number of sand grains on Earth, in all the beaches and deserts and the bottom of the ocean... a very large number, but NOT INFINITE. The number of stars in the universe.. . trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions, but NOT INFINITE. The number of long and ultimately pointless stories Karen Carpenter has told and will ever tell about Doylestown and/or SF building codes... a mind-blowing number that makes ones' head hurt, but ultimately NOT INFINITE.

What about, say, the number of pairs of prime numbers which are separated by exactly 2 (for example, 17 and 19, or 41 and 43, or 2,003,663,613 x 2^195,000 - 1 and 2,003,663,613 x 2^195,000 + 1)? Want to take a guess? Did you guess 6? WRONG! The number of pairs of prime numbers which are separated by exactly 2 is LITERALLY INFINITE.

Now while Aristotle questioned whether infinites could exist in a seemingly finite physical world, at the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, evidence will be presented to show that Karen Carpenter, Bob-Marc, and Sherilyn Connelly KrOB and Puzzling Evidence can break an infinite number of Radio Valencia rules.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: An infinite number of monkeys talking over each other.

Chatroom History
February 26, 2014 10:00pm - 1:30am

malderor: amateurs! (10:00pm)
vj pussycat: that's standard NHLG dialog (10:01pm)
kat herding: hola (10:03pm)
Alan B.: Hey, vj, hey, kat! (10:03pm)
kat herding: yo (10:04pm)
Alan B.: Scary music denoting infinity. (10:04pm)
kat herding: what is that monolith over yonder? (10:04pm)
Dr. Penny: Or the ghost of Christmas past (10:04pm)
Alan B.: Dr. Penny! (10:05pm)
Dr. Penny: :) (10:05pm)
kat herding: back up yo lest I smack you wid dis bone here! (10:06pm)
Dr. Penny: The monolith looks like it's close to cumming now. (10:06pm)
kat herding: that's one loooong phomne number (10:11pm)
Alan B.: It felt like we were waiting forever. (10:12pm)
Alan B.: Papa Juan. (10:12pm)
kat herding: infinitely, you could say... (10:13pm)
vj pussycat: hi y'all. i'm back again. fantastic show so far! (10:15pm)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/1hVC6BA (10:17pm)
Alan B.: The Mandlebrot Set (10:18pm)
Alan B.: Paradox a Potential Infinity (10:18pm)
Alan B.: WWV-H! (10:19pm)
Sherilyn: It's this in particular, Alan: http://bit.ly/1hVClMV (10:21pm)
Sherilyn: TIME DURING AN ECLIPSE! (10:21pm)
Alan B.: THE BEST TIME! (10:21pm)
Alan B.: Those who don't know the history of WWV are doomed to repeat it. http://1.usa.gov/1hVCqjy (10:22pm)
Alan B.: You are fucking killing me with the Jim Steinman. (10:24pm)
Alan B.: Hey-Yo! (10:24pm)
Alan B.: New word Facebook brought me: Glassholes (10:25pm)
Alan B.: WWV parody?! http://bit.ly/1hVCDU1 (10:26pm)
kat herding: HEY! I was in public relations! (10:29pm)
Alan B.: Sure, but the PR researchers are pretty cool. (I used to be one.) (10:29pm)
kat herding: ...before I started hooking. (10:29pm)
Alan B.: A promotion. (10:30pm)
Alan B.: Here here. But if you walk into a dive bar with shiny objects and act like a dick you get smacked. (10:31pm)
Alan B.: You mean they're self-involved to a fault? I can confirm that. (10:32pm)
Dr. Penny: Literally a Cylon hanger. (10:36pm)
Dr. Penny: It's all over the BSG literature. (10:37pm)
Sherilyn: http://bit.ly/1hVDm7C (10:38pm)
Alan B.: New type of audio malware transmits through speakers and microphones (10:39pm)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/1hVDsw7 (10:39pm)
Alan B.: Bravo! This is the bestest rant. (10:40pm)
kat herding: smegma gnu? (10:41pm)
kat herding: I'll take rare diseses for 400, Alex. (10:43pm)
kat herding: BLR! (10:43pm)
kat herding: yeah, is it really just MENTAL? (10:46pm)
Alan B.: Is there a high-quality download of Over the Edge? (10:48pm)
Alan B.: My father recorded all of the Firesign Theatre albums onto reel-to-reel and then I listened to them. (10:49pm)
Alan B.: Over the Edge for February 21st 2014 http://bit.ly/1hVEmZE (10:51pm)
Alan B.: He went thee. (10:52pm)
Alan B.: there. (10:52pm)
Alan B.: Aleph loaf? (10:55pm)
kat herding: keep walking... keep walking... (10:56pm)
kat herding: here's the O'Hare video http://bit.ly/1hVERme (10:58pm)
Alan B.: Can someone please explain Aleph Null, Aleph 1, Aleph 2...? http://yhoo.it/1hVERmk (10:58pm)
Alan B.: Nice video! (10:58pm)
kat herding: \o/ (11:00pm)
Dr. Penny: The glands of the O'Hare underpass. (11:03pm)
Alan B.: Contractor talk (11:06pm)
Get: out. (11:14pm)
Get: out now. (11:14pm)
Get: out know and dont answer fome. (11:14pm)
Get: out and leaf show alune. (11:14pm)
Get: out and process this, bud. (11:15pm)
Get: out and call the phun not. (11:15pm)
Get: out and stop Wil Helm Cream. (11:15pm)
Alan B.: Is there a high quality download of Puzzling Evidence? (11:20pm)
Alan B.: Wow. (11:20pm)
vj pussycat: willy wonka (11:20pm)
Alan B.: In fact, there is: http://bit.ly/1dCJNoP (11:21pm)
Alan B.: I somehow sense that the lack of joy over Hal in some is genuine. (11:22pm)
Alan B.: I was stunned that the post-non-broadcast ADH show actually occured. (11:23pm)
The Beatles: Stunned. (11:24pm)
The Beatles: Stunned. (11:25pm)
Alan B.: Yeah, and shocked. (11:25pm)
Alan B.: It was their trousers. They were . . . tight. (11:26pm)
The Rutlin' Stones: Yeah, the Whether Main. (11:26pm)
Alan B.: Jeepers, I have to go back and listen to that. (11:27pm)
Stig: Stuck now, ain't cha? (11:27pm)
Nasty: Crude earl, guts... (11:28pm)
Robot: must die (11:28pm)
Alan B.: The show that should have been http://bit.ly/1dCLt1x (11:29pm)
Alan B.: Listen to everyone hurt Hal. (11:29pm)
Alan B.: shoulda been. (11:29pm)
John Hurt: will move the mics. (11:29pm)
Alan B.: That's the best Alan B. hack evar. (11:29pm)
Alan B.: Brian Eno Ambient 1: Music for Airports http://bit.ly/1dCM6bh (11:31pm)
Sony: used to be such a world...wiggle test not trustworthy. (11:31pm)
Head: phones still bigger that that. (11:32pm)
Alan B.: Top Ten Reasons Not to Read Infinite Jest http://bit.ly/1dCMjLN (11:32pm)
Trillion: brains not on line yet. (11:33pm)
Alan Whats: More questions please, Meat Weakness. (11:34pm)
Alan B.: Windows 7: Right Channel Not Working ! SOLVED! http://bit.ly/1dCN4UZ (11:35pm)
Alan B.: Catholic Encyclopedia: http://bit.ly/1dCNKK6 (11:38pm)
Alan B.: ^^Ininite (11:38pm)
Alan B.: Blah (11:38pm)
Alan B.: Wolfram Math World - Infinity http://bit.ly/1dCNYRs (11:38pm)
Alan B.: What is slack? (11:40pm)
kat herding: radio camera (11:42pm)
Alan B.: Steve Allen show, Frank Zappa Playing music on a Bicycle 1963 http://bit.ly/1dCP0gk (11:44pm)
Alan B.: Fatboy Slim & Riva Starr Ft. Beardyman - Eat, Sleep, Rave, Repeat http://bit.ly/1dCP7IT (11:44pm)
Rath of Chan: Spock is a dick. (11:47pm)
Alan B.: This is the best Alan B. hat check evar. (11:47pm)
kat herding: but does this explain why time is a flat circle? (11:47pm)
Downtown San Francisco: Thanks for the tip o' the hat! (11:48pm)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/1dCPAur%2Bhat%2Bcheck. jpg (11:48pm)
Alan B.: God dammit (11:49pm)
Super Blood: Is this on the quiz? (11:49pm)
Gorn: thanks (11:49pm)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/1dCPJ0V (11:49pm)
kat herding: best 404 (11:49pm)
Gorn: Hitler (11:49pm)
Gorn: You bet!!!! (11:49pm)
Alan B.: By the way, STOP SMOKING OR END UP LIKE GRANDPA. (11:49pm)
Hitler: Thanks, boys! (11:50pm)
Eggs Benidick Cumberbund: Elemental, Flotsam. (11:50pm)
Eggs Benidick Cumberbund: And, Spock truley is a stick. (11:51pm)
Alan B.: Hitler's Hat http://bit.ly/1dCQ9Eu (11:51pm)
Eggs Benidick Cumberbund: Save NegativLand Energy (11:51pm)
Boba Fet: Are you Gravity? (11:52pm)
Alan B.: Biscuits and Gravity (11:52pm)
Frank Zappa: I'm still dead. (11:53pm)
John Lennon: Me. too. (11:53pm)
Honey Suck: NHLG believes in the future. (11:54pm)
Honey Suck: NHLG is not stoned enough. (11:54pm)
Alan B.: That cat loves to singa a with the moona and and the Jun-a and springa (11:55pm)
Alan B.: LAUNCH ALL HADRONS (11:55pm)
kat herding: Kat Herding (11:55pm)
Hadrons: Hadrons. (11:55pm)
Alan B.: Yeah! (11:55pm)
kat herding: damn you spellchecker! (11:56pm)
Yeah: Yeah. (11:56pm)
Sherilyn: Citizen Fillibuster, thank you. (11:56pm)
Alan B.: ALL YOUR HADRONS ARE BELONG TO US (11:56pm)
Belong : Are All Old Hadrons. (11:56pm)
Alan B.: i want to beat this ranting man to death with my BARE HANDS. (11:56pm)
vj pussycat: well you're fixin to lose me. i gotta go do some emergency soldering (11:56pm)
kat herding: I'll hold your coat. (11:56pm)
Sherilyn: http://bit.ly/1dCRc7F (11:57pm)
Cock Sucker: How cum I'm not on the show tonight? (11:57pm)
Alan B.: Gee, Patton seem so nice on the Twitter. But this is some apspie bullshit right here. (11:57pm)
Sherilyn: Which is kind of the point, of course. (11:58pm)
Patton: "Like crap through a goose...." (11:58pm)
Alan B.: LAUNCH ALL COCKSUCKERS! (11:58pm)
Patton: "Er..umm..we're out of cocksuckers right nows... (11:59pm)
Patton: " (11:59pm)
Alan B.: We must close the cocksucker gap! (11:59pm)
Patton: Honey Suck (11:59pm)
Patton: Alreday did.......tanks.. (12:00am)
Honey Suck: No way... (12:00am)
Alan B.: Hello, Dr. Hal. (12:00am)
Lo: power staytion that it is. (12:01am)
Space: Strike!!!!! (12:01am)
Hadrons: are washing your minds (12:03am)
Hadrons: ask you to continue to forget (12:03am)
The World: breaks it all... (12:04am)
Yeah: Yeah. (12:04am)
no no . . : : http://bit.ly/1dCSYWh (12:05am)
All: your belongs are Hadrons to us. (12:05am)
Yes, YES!!: fuk all (12:05am)
Yeak: Yeahs. (12:05am)
ISP: Soft landing on the show (12:06am)
Alan B.: The podcast is an unnecessary distraction. Viva the stage show! (12:07am)
no no..::: Garned....eh....eh....eh.... (12:08am)
Infinity: Are you Grabity? (12:08am)
Hadrons: No, I ink not... (12:09am)
jock and yono: literally (12:09am)
Space: I fuck your vomit. (12:10am)
Alan B.: The people's revolutionary podcast council declares this show to be over. (12:10am)
The Audience: Free us of these statements... (12:11am)
senator beiber: um.. sure (12:11am)
The Audience: Leave us some fig leaf of diggity! (12:11am)
Alan B.: Giggity! (12:12am)
bacon wrapped doggity: doo (12:12am)
Hot: and Dog are left to the rear for supply reasons (12:12am)
The Mudience: show talk (12:13am)
we have to: do things (12:13am)
Now.: now. (12:13am)
there . . :: there (12:13am)
Son Rah: Leave me alone. (12:14am)
Alan B.: Space is the place. (12:14am)
russell: crowe (12:14am)
Myself: , I shot (12:14am)
kat herding: alef not what? (12:15am)
Show End: not. (12:15am)
Alan B.: G'nite, one and all. (12:15am)
kat herding: 'gnight folks (12:15am)
NHLG: Good Night, you fucks! (12:16am)
NHLG: What do they WANT?!! FUCK!!!! (12:17am)
ffuckes: moore showe (12:17am)
NHLG: Yes, Theory of FUCK!! (12:17am)
NHLG: Spock issa FUCK!! (12:18am)
Hadron: You'll die for that! (12:18am)
Honey Suck: Not Nice. (12:18am)
Only One: Me. I'mma FUCK!! (12:19am)
NHLG: It's a giggity fucking time (12:20am)
NHLG: Goodnight, YOU FUCKS! (12:21am)

Once the very last remnants of the very last stars have finally decayed away to nothing and everything reaches the same temperature, the story of Radio Valencia finally comes to an end. For the first time in its life, Radio Valencia will be permanent and unchanging. Entropy finally stops increasing, because Radio Valencia cannot get any more disordered. Nothing happens and it keeps not happening, forever.

It's what's known as the heat death of Radio Valencia, an era when the cosmos will remain vast and cold and desolate for the rest of time. And that's because on the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, there is no difference between the past, the present and the future. There's no way of measuring the passage of time, because nothing on Radio Valencia changes. Karen Carpenter, Bob-Marc, and Sherilyn Connelly will have simply ceased to exist. It's an inescapable fact of Radio Valencia, written into the fundamental laws of physics by KrOB and Puzzling Evidence.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: We've been on for 10,000 trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion years.

Chatroom History
February 19, 2014 10:00pm - 3:30am

Alan B.: This show violates the First Law of Thermodynamics. (10:01pm)
Alan B.: Band name: Sea of Photons (10:03pm)
Alan B.: Yes, Brian May is the astrophysicist. (10:05pm)
Alan B.: BTW, about 20 minutes ago you could hear Juan Rapido's eyes rolling. (10:05pm)
Alan B.: Arrow of time -- Everybody drink! (10:05pm)
Alan B.: A Brief History of Time, full movie: http://bit.ly/NcWxMe (10:06pm)
Dr. Penny: But if there is no time, the stars can't go out due to time. (10:07pm)
Alan B.: The Black Hole Wars: My Battle with Stephen Hawking http://bit.ly/NcWIa9 (10:08pm)
Alan B.: Hi, Dr. Penny! Don't they go out due to entropy, due to all of their energy being dissapated? Time, as well? (10:08pm)
Alan B.: Ultimate fate of the universe Ultimate fate of the universe (10:12pm)
Alan B.: Trillion was my favorite Red Dwarf character. (10:12pm)
Alan B.: Ultimate fate of the universe http://bit.ly/NcXeFf (10:13pm)
Dr. Penny: Hi, Alan B.! I keep the stars burning with my love. (10:13pm)
Alan B.: Burning Love: http://bit.ly/NcXjZB (10:13pm)
Alan B.: Jesus, was Elvis ever one tweaky pill-headed freak. (10:15pm)
Alan B.: RAGNAROKTOBER! (10:17pm)
Alan B.: Ragnarok in Norse Mythology http://bit.ly/NcXPGQ (10:18pm)
Alan B.: TRILLION TRILLION TRILLION TRILLION TRILLION TRILLION TRILLION TRILLION TRILLION TRILLION (10:19pm)
Alan B.: 100 Trillion Dollar Zimbabwe Banknote $34.00 http://bit.ly/NcY3hi (10:20pm)
Alan B.: Note: Due to a worldwide shortage of the high denomination Zimbabwe banknotes, prices are going up fast and will most likely continue to rise. There isn't anything we can do about this. (10:21pm)
Alan B.: How Big is a Trillion? http://1.usa.gov/NcYaJP (10:21pm)
Alan B.: One trillion seconds of ordinary clock time = ( 1012 sec)/( 3.16 x 107 sec/yr) = 31,546 years! (10:22pm)
Alan B.: Where's my hearthrob Bob-Marc? (10:23pm)
Alan B.: Artist: Pink Floyd Album: A Saucerful of Secrets Released: 1968 (10:24pm)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/NcYo3B (10:24pm)
Sherilyn: The Heat Death of Syd Barrett: http://bit.ly/NcYsQL (10:24pm)
Alan B.: Poor fucker. (10:25pm)
Dr. Penny: Better watch out for the Dick Effect. It'll throw your clock off. (10:25pm)
Alan B.: No Minutemen 2-nite. :( (10:26pm)
Alan B.: Rock out with your clock out, Dr. Penny. (10:26pm)
Alan B.: Paul McCartney Really Is Dead: The Last Testament of George Harrison (2010) 1-6 http://bit.ly/NcYUi6 (10:29pm)
Alan B.: The narrator of this documentary is a textbook example of a douchebag. 2:25 (10:30pm)
Alan B.: Yeah, Pete! (10:30pm)
Alan B.: I certainly hope so. I'm so glad Sherilyn is well and you are entirely welcome. (10:31pm)
Alan B.: I'm fascinated by Pete's secret annex. (10:31pm)
vj pussycat: i like this week's show (10:32pm)
Alan B.: Me, too, vj! (10:32pm)
Alan B.: Got it in one. (10:32pm)
Alan B.: I'm uncertain, I'm listenting to the show! (10:33pm)
Alan B.: Jesus, this Syd photo is creepy. (10:33pm)
Alan B.: Those eyes are accusing EVERYBODY. (10:34pm)
Alan B.: Because I listened to the secret link to the Jan. 17 show, I learned that I cut Hal to the quick with my Facebook review of his radio show. (10:35pm)
Alan B.: I regret this. (10:35pm)
Sherilyn: What's to regret? (10:35pm)
Alan B.: I stand by the review, but he sounded so HURT. (10:36pm)
Sherilyn: He'll get over it. (10:37pm)
Alan B.: I'm certain. (10:37pm)
God: Where's the regret? (10:37pm)
God: of nothing... (10:37pm)
vj pussycat: what did you say to hurt hal? (10:37pm)
Alan B.: I said everybody should listen to it, even though parts of it are a technical catastrophe, because it is often a sparkling conversation with really wonderful people. (10:38pm)
Alan B.: Hal blamed the equipment in the RV studio. (10:38pm)
Sherilyn: YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD!!!!!!! (10:38pm)
vj pussycat: what's so bad about that? (10:38pm)
God: How's it taste? (10:39pm)
God: OOHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (10:39pm)
Alan B.: Hal really does feel put upon by the studio, which I imagaine is jury-rigged. If you don't have a clue about how to fix radio stuff, it would be frustrating. (10:39pm)
Alan B.: I'm a bad person, basically. (10:40pm)
Dr. Penny: Just keep masturbating. (10:40pm)
Alan B.: I'm doing it now! (10:40pm)
Dr. Penny: LOL! (10:40pm)
Me: If "I" don't?! (10:40pm)
vj pussycat: wow you're a good typer (10:40pm)
Alan B.: WTF?! No space science report when I can hear it live on RV?! (10:41pm)
Agent Aslan: /()@@&(://)$(;;:.&$ (10:46pm)
Alan B.: Phased Cookies. (10:47pm)
Alan B.: Space is the place, brothers and sisters: http://bit.ly/Nd1cxz (10:48pm)
Alan B.: Harry Scifres Robins 9 minutes ago GALLERY OF GREAT PROTO-SUBGENIUSES Paracelsus, 1493-1541 http://on.fb.me/Nd1zs3 (10:51pm)
Alan B.: Wait, link? I'll be the judge of fuckability, thank you. (10:53pm)
Alan B.: For straight boys, sure. (10:54pm)
Alan B.: Well, for me, anyway. (10:54pm)
Alan B.: Red pointy lights http://bit.ly/Nd1ZyB (10:56pm)
Alan B.: The sky's gone out: http://bit.ly/Nd25GA (10:57pm)
Alan B.: Bitchy scientists. (10:59pm)
Alan B.: Daylight Savings Time? (10:59pm)
Alan B.: Play along at home: Venom - Live At City Gardens, NJ. CLASSIC. http://bit.ly/Nd2rgq (11:01pm)
Alan B.: Sherilyn beat me to axing the question. (11:05pm)
Alan B.: Ah, those were the days. (11:07pm)
Alan B.: Explicit Content Only - Evan Roth http://bit.ly/1mv6Dba (11:09pm)
Alan B.: I fucking love this show. (11:09pm)
Alan B.: Bugger your toe! (11:11pm)
Dr. Penny: Now stick your finger in my butt and make this pussy nut. http://bit.ly/1a6WKZt (11:13pm)
Alan B.: Bob-Marc's got a ground loop! Bob-Marc's got a ground loop! Bob-Marc's got a ground loop! (11:13pm)
Dr. Penny: Make this pussy nut. Make this pussy nut. (11:13pm)
Alan B.: Pussy Guerilla Face Banana Fuck Nut: http://bit.ly/1mv74T3 (11:14pm)
Dr. Penny: Put the rubber on it, don't stop while you're hittin' it. (11:14pm)
Alan B.: Plug it into a different AC circuit than the board. (11:15pm)
Alan B.: HURTING HAL!!! (11:15pm)
Alan B.: Why does the straight boy have a little head? (11:16pm)
Dr. Penny: You can think with your big head, or with your little head. (11:18pm)
Alan B.: She's called strawberry and everybody know strawberry strawberry is the neighborhood hoe Do anything for a hit or two Give the bitch a rock she fucked the whole damn crew It might be your wife and it might make you sick Come home and see her mouth on the dopeman's dick (11:19pm)
Alan B.: Those are big atoms. (11:26pm)
Alan B.: SEGA! (11:26pm)
Alan B.: All-singing, all-dancing Cosmos. (11:26pm)
Alan B.: Why am I so mean? (11:29pm)
Alan B.: He needs a beard. (11:30pm)
Alan B.: EXPLOITABLE! (11:31pm)
Alan B.: Photoshop?! Fuck that shit. GIMP - The GNU Image Manipulation Program http://bit.ly/1mv8iO0 (11:31pm)
Alan B.: I'll never drink Frenet Branca in this town again. (11:32pm)
Alan B.: Have you got a moment to talk about Hitler? (11:37pm)
Alan B.: Puzzling Evidence Show theft-protected. (11:39pm)
Me: Hitler protected time shift theft (11:43pm)
Alan B.: Hitler Plans Burning Man http://bit.ly/1mv9Bws (11:48pm)
Alan B.: Eeep. (11:51pm)
Alan B.: Krob Sabrepop 2 minutes ago http://on.fb.me/1mv9ZuZ (11:52pm)
Alan B.: Des Barres wrote two memoirs about her experience as a groupie, I'm with the Band (1987) and Take Another Little Piece of My Heart: A Groupie Grows Up (1993), as well as two other non-fiction books, Rock Bottom: Dark Moments in Music Babylon and Let's Spend the Night Together: Backstage Secrets of Rock Muses and Supergroupies (Chicago Review Press, 2007). (11:54pm)
Alan B.: Cynthia Plaster Caster http://bit.ly/1mvae9k (11:56pm)
Alan B.: Goldie, P. (2014, February 20). Interview by S. Connelly. Best bacon-wrapped hotdogs in san fransisco, california. (12:00am)
Alan B.: No prob. (12:00am)
Alan B.: The Alan B. effect now terminates for the evening. Please continue for several more hours. 'Nite! (12:01am)
Sesame Street alien: yip yip yip yip yip yip yip yip yip yip (12:27am)
Sesame Street alien: uh huh. uh huh. uh huh. (12:27am)
Alan Not B.: woosh wooosh (12:30am)
Lonely Outpost: of logged on radio (1:41am)

You are socially awkward and physically unattractive. Your choices in cars, food, clothes and kitchen appliances only come in beige, and that's alright with you. You have never had a meaningful relationship, except with contrived entities using pseudonyms on the world's most capitalized social network. Your taste in "music", however, is highly evolved and exquisite. You know this to be true, because you were invited to join the SOUND WORK GROUP, a private virtual venue composed of nothing but the greatest minds and ears on Earth. Your special needs are met, you click and share and no one tells you to turn that shit down. Every day is like the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, hosted by Karen Carpenter, Bob-Marc, the disembodied voice of peckish Sherilyn Connelly, and perhaps KrOB and Look out!, Duck! It's Puzzling Evidence! YOU FOUND YOUR PLACE!

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: BTW, your mom just unfriended you.

Chatroom History
February 12, 2014 10:00pm - 1:30am

Alan B.: Spend some more money on lawyers for low power FM, the equipment is fine. (10:06pm)
Alan B.: FLAPPY BIRD IS AUTISM OVER 9000!! (10:07pm)
Alan B.: All the teenagers listening are in pain. (10:08pm)
Alan B.: Correction: No teenagers are listening. (10:09pm)
Dr. Penny: Taking us to the top of Everest! (10:10pm)
Alan B.: HI, Dr. Penny! (10:10pm)
Alan B.: This is not a test. (10:11pm)
Dr. Penny: :) (10:11pm)
Alan B.: Start (10:11pm)
Alan B.: Start (10:11pm)
Alan B.: Stop (10:11pm)
Dr. Penny: Now (10:12pm)
Alan B.: My pleasure. Thanks for asking. (10:13pm)
Alan B.: I would like to invite listeners to visit Sound Work Group on Facebook. We gather to talk about audio works which may or may not be composed of other recorded sounds. Cut ups, detrounement, mash-ups, etc. http://on.fb.me/MMQBcA (10:17pm)
Alan B.: 12 Videos Featuring Walter Murch and The Sound Design of 'THX 1138' http://bit.ly/MMRa6f (10:21pm)
Dr. Penny: The cock remains hard as a rock. (10:22pm)
Alan B.: The letter U and the numeral 2 (10:24pm)
Alan B.: These (10:25pm)
Alan B.: guys (10:25pm)
Alan B.: are (10:25pm)
Alan B.: from (10:25pm)
Alan B.: England (10:25pm)
Alan B.: and (10:25pm)
Alan B.: who (10:25pm)
Alan B.: gives (10:25pm)
Alan B.: a (10:25pm)
Alan B.: shit? (10:25pm)
Dr. Penny: Karen can grab the forceps and remove the sebaceous cist. (10:28pm)
Alan B.: Z (10:32pm)
Dr. Penny: Pay Karen to make money off your house! (10:37pm)
Dr. Penny: Karen can remodel your cat box! (10:38pm)
Alan B.: A = A, motherfuckers! (10:40pm)
Alan B.: You hack into someone's account and then yell, "MINE!" (10:41pm)
Alan B.: Cocksucker time!~ (10:44pm)
Alan B.: Libertarian cocksuckers (10:45pm)
Alan B.: :( (10:56pm)
Alan B.: It's a flaw of mine. (10:57pm)
Alan B.: Time for a very serious station ID. (11:02pm)
Alan B.: Naw, man, naw. . . (11:11pm)
Alan B.: That's what NHLG needs, Suggestive Sell. (11:12pm)
Alan B.: A. B. C. (11:12pm)
Alan B.: ZZZZZ (11:21pm)
vj pussycat: looks like y'all put alan b to sleep again (11:27pm)
vj pussycat: it was just an observation (11:31pm)
Alan B.: I just hope they play David's stuff, he was all excited. (11:38pm)
Alan B.: Oh, wait, is this it?! (11:38pm)
Alan B.: My work is done here. (11:39pm)
Alan B.: Oh, Bob-Marc, you tease. (11:39pm)
Alan B.: ZZZZZ (11:40pm)
Alan B.: I got nipples on my titties they as big as my thumb (11:43pm)
Alan B.: He made it!!! (11:46pm)
Alan B.: Hi, Dr. Hal! (11:46pm)
Alan B.: Actually, cigarettes calm anxiety and focus the mind because they rob the brain of oxygen, making one slightly more stupid. (11:47pm)
Alan B.: x (11:51pm)
Alan B.: They speak Englisher. (11:53pm)
Alan B.: I can't even hear this Intenet! (11:54pm)
Alan B.: The frequency generator will never replace Booper. (11:55pm)
Alan B.: Those Hadrons are enormous. (12:00am)
Alan B.: Jamais! (12:00am)
Alan B.: NO PASARAN! (12:01am)
Alan B.: Grab it by the neck, you sissies. (12:01am)
Alan B.: The roars of the masses could be farts. (12:02am)
Alan B.: We have crossed the terminator and headed into the earliest morning. (12:06am)
Alan B.: Huzzah! (12:06am)
Alan B.: Balderdash! 000...He is a charter member. (12:06am)
Alan B.: My father's reel to reel had that magic eye!! I used to record AM radio using the crappy mic! (12:07am)
Alan B.: Check this out, gentlement: http://bit.ly/1bOyhWM (12:08am)
Alan B.: I totally fucked up on that, Bob-Marc. (12:10am)
Alan B.: Radio Telegrapher's License. (12:10am)
Alan B.: Yeah, they could totes pull your ticket for operating a pirate station. (12:11am)
Alan B.: Hearing the Minutemen, I know Bob-Marc forgives my slight. (12:12am)
Alan B.: Form 605: http://bit.ly/1bOyA3T (12:13am)
Alan B.: Okay, work tomorrow. Hale and farewell. (12:13am)
vj pussycat: gnite and thank you karen, bob-marc and hal (12:31am)

Tonight on NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, are very special Norwegian guests, Lars Berrum and Martin Beyer-Olsen, NORWEGIAN KINGS OF COMEDY! From Norway! KINGS!

So... what do Karen Carpenter, Bob-Marc, Sherilyn Connelly, KrOB, and/or Puzzling Evidence know about the Norwegian Kings of Comedy? Who are these kings and who made them kings? Can there be two kings of Norwegian comedy? What up? After racking their collective brains, the show writers came up with these facts about Norway:

- Vikings
- Lillehammer, a town in Opplandcounty, a region of Gudbrandsdal.
- Heavy Water Plant
- Fjords

...oh, and that Norway *is* a kingdom, so it all actually makes sense that they produce Kings of Comedy for domestic use and export. Your royal invitation is here, come watch and listen as they roll out the red carpet for Lars and Martin on the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: No Ole and Lena jokes, promise.


Chatroom History
February 5, 2014 10:00pm - 3:30am

Alan B.: Eyeroll. (10:01pm)
Alan B.: I always love the woman who blows it just before GSH does the last line, "Whitey on the Moon." Those other folks in the audience have been laughing at her for nearly 50 years. (10:03pm)
Alan B.: Kongene av norsk komedie (10:09pm)
Sherilyn: I have that same thought every time, Alan. (10:09pm)
Alan B.: Rimshot. (10:10pm)
Alan B.: You're not fit to drive Elvis' truck for him. (10:10pm)
Alan B.: CIA World Factbook - Norway http://1.usa.gov/1ezLJSt (10:13pm)
Alan B.: Norwegian 94.4% (includes Sami, about 60,000), other European 3.6%, other 2% (2007 estimate) (10:14pm)
Alan B.: Norway's national statistical agency estimated the national population to be approximately 5.08 million as of 1 July 2013 (10:14pm)
Alan B.: What to expect when you first meet a Norwegian http://bit.ly/1ezM7Ap (10:15pm)
wisconsin: You can find lutefisk lots of places here, a century after the Norwegians invented refrigeration so that they wouldn't have to eat it anymore. (10:16pm)
Alan B.: Verdens beste talkshow -- (10:17pm)
wisconsin: there are places here that serve "lefsedillas" unironically (10:18pm)
Alan B.: Verdens beste talkshow http://bit.ly/1ezMvyX (10:18pm)
Alan B.: Swedish-American podcasting host Steve Dahl always talks abou this father and grandmother eating lutefisk every New Years and then vomiting. (10:19pm)
Alan B.: Above was a mean review, this seems to be the Web site for World's Best Show http://bit.ly/1ezMMSB (10:20pm)
wisconsin: vuvuzela (10:21pm)
Alan B.: Episode 1 still for the stream: Hitler in a cardigan. I like these guys! http://bit.ly/1ezMXgA (10:22pm)
Alan B.: Vidkun Quisling - "I know that the Norwegian people have sentenced me to death, and that the easiest course for me would be to take my own life. But I want to let history reach its own verdict. Believe me, in ten years' time I will have become another Saint Olav." http://bit.ly/1ezN4c9 (10:23pm)
Alan B.: We need to send the SF tech douchebags to re-education camps: "In Norway, Start-ups Say Ja to Socialism" http://bit.ly/1ezOSSl (10:37pm)
Alan B.: Typical Europeans. They know about three Americans: (10:37pm)
Alan B.: 1. Michael Jordan (10:37pm)
Alan B.: 2. Al Capone (10:37pm)
Alan B.: Mickey Mouse (10:37pm)
Alan B.: And the Icelandic are drunks. (10:38pm)
wisconsin: "Jesus Quizt" (10:44pm)
Dr. Penny: Just tuning in. Mmmmm. Norwegian! Lutefisk. Rosettes during the holidays. Goat cheese is delicious, too. (11:15pm)
Dr. Penny: I've got my (11:20pm)
Dr. Penny: rosette irons hot an handy during the holidays. (11:20pm)
Dr. Penny: Can anything get any better than NHLG? (12:52am)
GoofBall Radio: Yes. When you stop hitting yourself. (1:38am)
Dr. Penny: You silly. You green. (1:39am)
Norway: will not laugh. (1:40am)
And: the name "Radio"....and who is "on the air"? (1:41am)
Chat Box: "Leaf me Alone" quote by famous Swede. (1:42am)
Fyord Lockout: Like a Fuck. (1:43am)
Fyord Lockout: Morwigian Jibber Jabber Jobber (1:44am)

"SO... did you sign the lease today, or will you wait to see if your girl 'friend', and by 'friend' do understand that she is firmly fixed in the 'friend' zone so drop any illusions you have of advances on the physical front, ... will you wait for your friend who is a girl to agree to your convoluted living proposal where you pay 3/4 of the $3750 for the one-bedroom and offer to sleep on the sofa if she picks up the wifi, utilities and shares take-out with you each Tuesday?"

"uuh, wat?"

"It is sooo obvious, if only one not only sees, but observes... your skinny black jeans, plaid work shirt and trucker cap present the carefully coifed composition of a Mission Hipster, right down to the unshaven face, PBR breath and MUNI transfer sticking out your front pocket. However, the American Spirits pack in your shirt pocket does not contain cheap smokes, but nicotine gum and 2 pin-sized "doobies" as I believe you Americans call them, rolled in corner-cut ZigZag papers that retail for $2 at most local bodegas, overpriced for your still barely-illegal indulgence but rolled small and tight, indicating newfound thrift, yet there are two of them, indicating a meeting with someone you hope to lower inhibitions and persuade, persuade to do what? Have sex? Eventually, but not today, today you are focused on finding a place to have sex, a warm place with a bed or at least a sofa, all of which indicates heterosexuality, the gay man of your age would not hesitate in a bathroom stall, office closet or play structure in any children's park, your beard is only 4 days old, you last shaved Wednesday night knowing you could get away with the vague dress code at your corporate job until the weekend, in order to look deliberately vague on Saturday and Sunday, the MUNI transfer, so carefully placed for effect, is in fact from last month as indicated by the color and wear (did you ever read my blog on MUNI transfer color coding? well, you should) on the MUNI transfer is written a phone number using a stubby #2 pencil like is often seen scoring at a bowling alley, a bowling alley is "safe" place to meet "friends", the number has 9 digits, the first three being 510, East Bay, the owner of that number lives in the East Bay but bowls in the Mission, it is a woman who wants to live where she plays, you are carrying a grocery bag full of artisanal coffee, quesos, kale chips, tequila, as if ready to settle in and celebrate and the Craigslist printout in your back pocket of apartment offerings, sorted by distance from tech bus stops does nothing but confirm the rest, you are one of San Francisco's 50,000 Software-Americans who have a coveted high-wage job but nothing else, no girlfriend, no place to live, and no idea why the cool kids in the neighborhood are all talking about Karen Carpenter, Bob-Marc, Sherilyn Connelly, KrOB, Puzzling Evidence and some FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, as if those random words put together has some sort of hidden meaning, which they actually do not. So, did you sign the lease??"

"Who are you, weirdo, some stalker?"

"No. I am Google."

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: Thanks to smart phones, everyone is Sherlock.

Chatroom History
January 29, 2014 10:00pm - 5:30am

Sleepy ol' Alan B.: Gerry Rafferty dies aged 63 http://bit.ly/1iNO2ok (10:04pm)
Sleepy ol' Alan B.: Baker Street, released in 1978, was still netting him £80,000 a year more than 30 years later. (10:05pm)
Alan B.: Wait, this show is different from last week. Where's that babbling, lunatic foreigner that isn't Benedict Cumberbatch? (10:11pm)
Alan B.: Read the same damn show description at nosehairlintgland.tumblr.com http://bit.ly/1iNPnLP (10:14pm)
Alan B.: That is a fucking brilliant idea. (10:14pm)
Alan B.: 10 Hours of Badgers doing Mushrooms http://bit.ly/1iNPRl6 (10:17pm)
vj pussycat: quality viewing there (10:19pm)
Alan B.: Welcome to Oddball http://bit.ly/1iNQkUF (10:20pm)
Alan B.: Hi, vj pussycat (10:20pm)
vj pussycat: hi alan b. i can't login to tumbler cause i forgot my pw and there's no link for people like me (10:22pm)
Alan B.: Oh, well. (10:23pm)
Alan B.: Thanks for trying! (10:23pm)
vj pussycat: sure thing alan b (10:24pm)
vj pussycat: i gotta go downstairs to do some soldering, but i'll still be listening (10:26pm)
vj pussycat: i don't know i can't access it (10:27pm)
Alan B.: Bob Marc was wishing for a place to put all the cool videos. (10:27pm)
Alan B.: I wish I could figure it out. (10:27pm)
Alan B.: Okay. Try creating an account here: http://bit.ly/1iNRsY8 (10:29pm)
Alan B.: And then go here: http://bit.ly/1efBcrF (10:30pm)
Alan B.: And click on the three parallel lines in the gray box in the upper left hand corner. (10:30pm)
Alan B.: Then click Submit (10:30pm)
Sherilyn: Turns out I have to reset my password! THANKS FOR NOTHING, ALAN. (10:30pm)
Alan B.: JESUS CHRIST DON'T YELL AT ME AHHHHHHH! (10:31pm)
Alan B.: But most importantly, Morrie Turner died. http://lat.ms/1iNRQWM (10:31pm)
Alan B.: Shermlock Shomes in The Hound of the Basketballs http://bit.ly/1efzaYy (10:33pm)
Alan B.: Six pity streams. (10:33pm)
Alan B.: Ewwwwww. (10:36pm)
Alan B.: Sherilyn posted: http://bit.ly/1iNSKTa (10:37pm)
Alan B.: Booperovitch. (10:38pm)
Alan B.: Waltern Smitty is a pretty cool guy, and he got himself booted from the SubGenius Slackhole 2.0, which some might see as an endorsement. (10:39pm)
Alan B.: Rule 34: If it exists, there is porn of it. (10:41pm)
Alan B.: R34 NHLG waterbed mazola superfan porn. And then a nice bullet to the temple. (10:42pm)
Alan B.: Sherlock Holmes R34: http://bit.ly/1iNTG9Z (10:44pm)
Alan B.: ^^^ Warning: This is badly-done amateur porn drawings (10:45pm)
Alan B.: Canon of Sherlock Holmes http://bit.ly/1iNV3Wb (10:51pm)
Alan B.: Chaplin Robert Downey Jr. Porn (10:54pm)
Alan B.: In 1966 the bomb was a metaphor for everything. (10:56pm)
Alan B.: Okay, this awful: The Crazy Adventures of Wassup Holmes, the illest Hip-Hop Detective. http://bit.ly/1iNWHY4 (10:59pm)
Alan B.: 89,700 kilohertz (11:01pm)
Alan B.: Michael Chabon: Inventing Sherlock Holmes http://bit.ly/1fyFMDN (11:04pm)
Alan B.: 66 minutes into the show -- the best sax solo ever (11:06pm)
Alan B.: That goes in the tumblr (11:08pm)
Alan B.: Down the Rafferty Hole (11:10pm)
Alan B.: Foo Fighters: Baker Street http://bit.ly/1fyGYa3 (11:14pm)
Sleeply ol' Alan B.: Be well. See ya next week. 'Nite. (11:17pm)
vj pussycat: he can't use the fucking catbox either (12:48am)
Catty: callers (1:38am)
Catty: listeners (1:38am)
Catty: wanna know (1:38am)
jwsus: what the fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkk (1:39am)
jwsus: why they do all this words bad (1:39am)
jwsus: they bad mouths (1:40am)
vj pussycat: uh huh (2:01am)
vj pussycat: not listening (2:02am)
vj pussycat: i'm not listening (2:04am)
vj pussycat: uh yea, 3:30 (2:54am)
vj pussycat: i'll sleep when i'm dead (2:55am)
vj pussycat: hope i can make it thru all puzzling evidence tomorrow . night y'all (3:00am)

Guests appeared at NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND last night, the theme was questioned, ignored, then trampled to death. We'll try again next week.

Chatroom History
January 22, 2014 10:00pm - 4:30am

Alan B.: Razzle Bathbone (10:03pm)
Alan B.: Hi, DJ DeadAir! (10:08pm)
Alan B.: Shermlock Shomes in the Hound of the Basketballs http://on.fb.me/1efx6A2 (10:08pm)
Alan B.: Archive.org Lights Out (old time terrifying radio voices) http://bit.ly/1efxsqf (10:11pm)
Dr. Penny: The fly is appout. (10:11pm)
Alan B.: Hi, Dr. Penny! (10:12pm)
Dr. Penny: Hi Alan B. (10:12pm)
Alan B.: Terrifying Human Fly http://bit.ly/1efxFJV (10:13pm)
Karen Carpenter: wheeee (10:15pm)
Alan B.: Hi, Karen. (10:16pm)
Sherilyn: Derrrrrrrrrrp. (10:16pm)
Alan B.: Hi, Sherilyn (10:16pm)
Dr. Penny: Hi Karen (10:16pm)
Alan B.: Now the chatbox is completely ruined. (10:16pm)
vj pussycat: no, it is ruined now (10:17pm)
Sherilyn: PRESS ENTER! (10:17pm)
Alan B.: Hi, vj pussycat! (10:17pm)
Alan B.: I always thought it was DJ DeadAir, but DeadHair is nice. (10:17pm)
vj pussycat: hi alan b! (10:17pm)
vj pussycat: all hair is dead (10:17pm)
Alan B.: DJ Gugliermo Marconi (10:18pm)
Alan B.: Okay, so you guys need a Tumblr to dump the Youtube links into. Because you don't have enough to do. (10:20pm)
Alan B.: Ooops this is the right link for Hound of the Basketballs http://bit.ly/1efzaYy (10:24pm)
Dr. Penny: Dr. Fiasco!!!!!!! Yay!!!! (10:24pm)
Sherilyn: Start the Tumblr and see what happens! (10:25pm)
Alan B.: Moo hoo haa haa haa! (10:25pm)
Dr. Penny: Dr. Fiasco enters the tumble. (10:25pm)
vj pussycat: dr. fiasco, what part of NHLG don't you understand (10:30pm)
vj pussycat: she said doodie (10:30pm)
vj pussycat: like tub girl or the wrestler whose but exploded (10:36pm)
vj pussycat: and jello (10:37pm)
Alan B.: tumblerbot is harassing me! (10:42pm)
Alan B.: Okay, Sherilyn, I don't really understand what I've done here, but http://bit.ly/1efBcrF (10:47pm)
Alan B.: How do I ram this full of content? (10:47pm)
Karen Carpenter: how did yu do that? (10:48pm)
Alan B.: I dunno! I tumbler'd. (10:49pm)
Alan B.: I could figure out how to design the page but I can't figure out how to let people post stuff. (10:49pm)
Sherilyn: Well tumblr'ed, Alan! (10:51pm)
Alan B.: And then Alan B. was banned from tumblr forever. (10:51pm)
vj pussycat: like i can afford to have another window open on my tiny laptop (10:52pm)
vj pussycat: that's neat ala b, but what do we do with it? (10:53pm)
Alan B.: I'm working on it, but I think as a minimum you'll need a tumblr account. (10:53pm)
vj pussycat: is it like pinterest? (10:53pm)
vj pussycat: i don't like pinterest (10:54pm)
vj pussycat: i don't have time for shit like that (10:54pm)
Alan B.: Well, it is a Web 2.0 tech site created by tech douchebags, so yeah. (10:54pm)
Alan B.: And then Karen learned all about R34. (10:54pm)
Alan B.: Please see Rule 34 http://bit.ly/1efBHlv (10:55pm)
vj pussycat: i already cut my facebook time down to zero. you may have noticed. (10:55pm)
Alan B.: Is there a girlfriend cutout bin? (10:56pm)
vj pussycat: trust the gorton's fisherman (10:57pm)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/1efBZsB How to post on NHLG tumblr. (11:00pm)
tell me wht to-? don't tell me...: dj oh! How has the keyboardless life been treating Karen Carpenter? (11:04pm)
Alan B.: I approve of Dr. Fiasco's endorsement of godless Obamacare. (11:05pm)
vj pussycat: pain in the ass is right. every time i click on sign up, it takes me to the log in page (11:07pm)
Alan B.: Okey dokey, my tech douchebaggery is done for tonight. Ta! (11:12pm)
vj pussycat: i tried alan b. sorry (11:20pm)
vj pussycat: what?!!! (11:21pm)
vj pussycat: a year without huell? (11:22pm)
tell me wht to-? don't tell me...: I forgot I hawe can stop now? (11:22pm)
vj pussycat: oh, that explains the huell howser memorial episode of NHLG (11:23pm)
vj pussycat: you can't adjust the strap on d boon's hat (11:34pm)
vj pussycat: now they sound like beethoven (11:34pm)
vj pussycat: christopher cross - dr. fiasco's greatest hits (11:36pm)
vj pussycat: all i hear is wolfman jack (11:37pm)
vj pussycat: instructables (11:49pm)
vj pussycat: enough with the phil collins (12:14am)
vj pussycat: i listened to the podcast last week to hear the beginning i missed and there was a whole conversation about forgetting stuff at the station (12:15am)
vj pussycat: two hours before sherilyn left (12:16am)

Long before the rural jurors were purged, the sticks nixed pix about hicks! Farmers are not interested in farming pictures, but they'll definitely be interested in the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, in which foreman Karen Carpenter, hired hand Bob-Marc, and local slattern Sherilyn Connelly (along with shifty-lookin' drifters KrOB and Puzzling Evidence, aka Dick and Perry) will nix more pix than hicks can shake a stick at.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: The secret ingredient is moonshine (hiccup!), which you stir with sticks.

Chatroom History
January 15, 2014 10:00pm - 4:45am

Alan B.: Styx? http://bit.ly/1dSrknD (10:02pm)
Alan B.: BTW I love this movie. (10:03pm)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/1m92xTH The master dances - Rare clip from 1932 The great American song composer and stage star, George M. Cohan, starred in this picture in 1932, at the age of 54. (10:04pm)
Alan B.: ^^^ Blackface trigger warning (10:04pm)
Alan B.: ^^^ Jimmie Durante trigger warning (10:05pm)
Alan B.: And "The South's Gonna Rise (10:05pm)
Alan B.: Again" is a fitting backbeat (10:05pm)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/1m93b3w crackers on the moon (10:07pm)
Alan B.: The best biotics. Everything in my bloodstream is dead. (10:07pm)
Alan B.: I'm glad KrOB is better. I hope he didn't have to get butt shots. (10:10pm)
Alan B.: Discrimination against Appalachian Americans is significant enough that some municipalities such as Cincinnati have enacted laws making it illegal to discriminate against peoples of Appalachian identity. Appalachians can face discrimination in employment due to a variety of prejudicial assumptions. http://bit.ly/1m93USb (10:11pm)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/1m93USb <--- Appalachian stereotypes (10:11pm)
Alan B.: Long Duk Dong Rapido (10:12pm)
Alan B.: Derogatory language against Appalachian Americans includes the terms "redneck" and "hillbilly," both which can be applied to people of any race, gender, or sexual orientation. (10:13pm)
Alan B.: Corey Hart - Sunglasses at Night http://bit.ly/1m94pfa (10:13pm)
Alan B.: WIKIPEDIA NEVER LIES (10:14pm)
Alan B.: NHLG, singly and collectively -- Opinion leaders (10:15pm)
asdf: uh oh i think forgot the meeting. is it still going on? (10:16pm)
Alan B.: I would be honored. (10:17pm)
Alan B.: Has Sherilyn's Booper ever heard (excerpts from) The Booper Symphony #1? http://bit.ly/1m95mnu (10:18pm)
Alan B.: ^^^ Circuit bending trigger warning (10:19pm)
Alan B.: Your mom (10:19pm)
Dr. Penny: Oh every nhlg is a great show! (10:20pm)
Alan B.: This show is an acquired taste. (10:20pm)
Alan B.: Radio Disney, daddy! (10:21pm)
Alan B.: Sequential Art. (10:21pm)
Alan B.: Nix - http://bit.ly/1m96qYw (10:23pm)
Alan B.: Hello, Dr. Penny! (10:24pm)
Sherilyn: Sherilyn's Booper LIVED it, Alan. (Not really.) (10:24pm)
Alan B.: Bishop Joey used sarcasm, so I donated to repair art I'll never see. (10:27pm)
Dr. Penny: "I'm not making shit up here; this is Nose Hair Lint Gland." -- K.C. (10:27pm)
Dr. Penny: Hi back Alan B. :) (10:29pm)
Alan B.: Bob-Marc: "I love these dog heads. they are all that is left of Doggie Diner a Bay Area fast food chain that had 30 locations with multiple locations in San Francisco. (10:29pm)
Alan B.: "When I was a kid this is what we had, there were no McDonald's or Burger Kings, Taco Bells etc, I can distinctly remember the two in the Mission the one on Van Ness and of Course the one out by the zoo out on Sloat. (10:29pm)
Alan B.: "Anyone who loves what (used to ???) makes San Francisco a beautiful and fascinating place to live should give a few bucks to restoring these San Francisco monuments." (10:30pm)
Alan B.: Fuck San Francisco and fuck libertarians: http://kck.st/1m97L1N (10:30pm)
Alan B.: Cups and burger wrappers at In-N-Out Burger are marked with Bible citations. TRUE Read more at http://bit.ly/1m97Z8T (10:31pm)
Alan B.: Blotter art by my friend Shady Backflash http://bit.ly/1m9864x (10:32pm)
Alan B.: Dr. Fiasco was tart. (10:34pm)
Alan B.: I got bad news: (10:38pm)
Alan B.: "Like he wanted to come across as a decent family man after the ignominy of It's a Slippery Slope, but the Journals support this brief change before the big accident. He does seem to be happy during this period, though he frets a little that he is drinking too much and taking cocaine." (10:38pm)
Alan B.: ^^^ Bookslut: The Journals of Spalding Gray edited by Nell Casey http://bit.ly/1m99lAy (10:38pm)
Sherilyn: DR FIASCO IS POSTING AS ALAN B! (10:38pm)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/1m99Cnb (10:40pm)
Alan B.: My fucking phone is upstairs, so I'll just post the wiki link: http://bit.ly/1m9b2hw (10:46pm)
Alan B.: WALL STREET LAYS AN EGG (10:47pm)
Alan B.: FORD TO NEW YORK: DROP DEAD (10:47pm)
Alan B.: HEADLESS TORSO FOUND IN TOPLESS BAR (10:48pm)
Alan B.: HICKS NIX PIX IN STICKS (10:48pm)
Alan B.: I've decided that the antibiotics have caused irrepairable brain damage. (10:48pm)
Alan B.: Headless Body in Topless Bar (10:49pm)
Alan B.: How much tile do you let the less able sub-contractor do? (10:50pm)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/1m9bXyz (10:51pm)
Alan B.: I actually really like Skrillex. (10:51pm)
Sherilyn: A more recent one not in that article: Cops Fear Pimp Turf War. (10:51pm)
Sherilyn: As do I! Neither Skrillex nor dubstep do me any harm. (10:52pm)
Alan B.: So soap, radio. (11:01pm)
Alan B.: No Soap, Radio. (11:01pm)
Alan B.: This is fucked up. I cannot find evidence of a single rural-themed box-office flop from 1935. (11:02pm)
Alan B.: 61 Reasons to Hate the Grateful Dead http://bit.ly/1m9eicA (11:04pm)
Alan B.: Alice Faye - Hello Frisco, Hello 1943 - San Francisco http://bit.ly/1m9et7L (11:04pm)
Alan B.: Ah, Sherilyn -- paydirt! List of films set in the southern United States - 1935 http://bit.ly/1m9eXe8 (11:07pm)
Sherilyn: I can't believe they didn't like Lazy River! (11:09pm)
Alan B.: Well, I haven't actually dug up the box office on these, but the article must have referred to something. (11:10pm)
Alan B.: And fucking USC has the Variety archives behind a paywall. (11:10pm)
Alan B.: True story: This girl I knew at the expensive private college I attended skipped about $3,000 in classes to tour with the Dead for a week. Came back with body lice. (11:11pm)
Alan B.: 19) They hijacked many punks (including my once fierce little sister), making them into what they once hated, hippies. (11:13pm)
Alan B.: ^^^ My goofy friend Adam Rebelius in a nutshell. (11:13pm)
Alan B.: 34) Vegans who smoke cigarettes. (11:15pm)
Alan B.: Variety - "Paramount obviously couldn't make up its mind what it wanted to do with the film; it's rambling and hokey. For a few minutes it's sheer farce, for a few moments it's romance. And it never jells...Fields works hard throughout the film and saves it, giving it whatever entertainment value it has." Mississippi (1935) (11:17pm)
Alan B.: Grateful Dead Kennedys - Nazi Punks Funk Off http://bit.ly/1m9gLny (11:18pm)
Alan B.: I think my buttocks are on life support. (11:20pm)
Alan B.: The film that killed Will Rogers: http://imdb.to/1m9hFjQ (11:22pm)
Alan B.: FUCKING MINUTEMEN FUCK YEAH! (11:22pm)
Alan B.: Party with me Punker http://bit.ly/1m9i2e9 (11:24pm)
Sherilyn: Regarding Will Rogers, I have Judge Priest on deck just in case. (11:24pm)
Alan B.: Yes. yes, play the Big Black. . . you know you want to . . . http://bit.ly/1m9ixot (11:26pm)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/1m9iLMm (11:27pm)
Alan B.: Every woman's cheese box? (11:28pm)
Alan B.: Okay, I'll have to take a raincheck on the balance of the six hours. Thank you. (11:34pm)
Dr. Penny: And there must be tiki torches. (2:11am)

So you parlayed your Stanford education into a profitable start-up where teenage girls can pay for car rides or rent an apartment by sexting via their smartphones while improving their social network ranking. It's win-win! It's called Twatr.

Problem is, you moved to the big city, and well, Palo Alto this ain't. For starters, there is a lot more non-white people, and these are not Indian or Chinese or even have computer science degrees. And let's face it, there is also a lot of, how shall we put it, unmonetizable people out on the streets.

But never fear. While you sit in your $4,000-a-month Valencia St. condo trying to figure out how to make the Mission more like the Marina, tune into the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND where hackathon waiter KAREN CARPENTER, devil investor (and part-time Estonian Supermodel) SHERILYN CONNELLY, cereal entrepreneur BOB-MARC with heavy Orkut user and ICQ enthusiast DR. FIASCO show you the ropes around town.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: "Is there a Roofies app for the iPhone?"

Chatroom History
January 8, 2014 10:00pm - 1:30am

Alan B.: Gentrification on the moon. (10:02pm)
Dr. Penny: H5 (10:05pm)
Alan B.: Leonid Nimoy DeCaprio (10:10pm)
John Heck: More Tom of Finland! (10:10pm)
Dr. Penny: omg. There's a "Fiasco the Cat" app! (10:13pm)
Alan B.: Shit, everyone's in here but Dr. Fiasco. (10:13pm)
Alan B.: Eno wrote it on a Mac, doo dah, doo dah. . . (10:13pm)
Dr. Penny: That's right! The anal douche! (10:15pm)
Alan B.: Buttsecks right outta tha box! (10:16pm)
Alan B.: FCC123LOL (10:19pm)
Dr. Penny: He has arrived!!!!! :D (10:19pm)
Alan B.: Dr. Fiasco is nice. (10:20pm)
Alan B.: THOSES people. (10:22pm)
Alan B.: I mean those. (10:22pm)
Alan B.: KrOB and Dr. Hal totally fucking rocked. (10:23pm)
John Heck: Rob and Hal fuck? (10:23pm)
Alan B.: EW. (10:24pm)
John Heck: Rob and Hal............fuck.... (10:24pm)
Alan B.: That's your ship, weirdo. (10:24pm)
Alan B.: I'm shipping Karen and the door code. (10:25pm)
Alan B.: Most excellent article (10:25pm)
Alan B.: Beyond the Dial: Pirate Radio Packs Up and Moves to the Unregulated Wilderness of the Internet http://bit.ly/1ijy2Ym (10:27pm)
Alan B.: Your mom (10:27pm)
Cute Li'l: Cover Bitches (10:27pm)
Alan B.: NOBODY IS ON THE RADIO VERBOTEN ACHTUNG (10:28pm)
Alan B.: "What the hell is a Berlin-style ping-pong league?" -- Dr. Fiasco, 10:29 p.m. 1/8/2014 (10:29pm)
Alan B.: Are they also sending out harmoics that cause airliners to crash and make baby Jesus cry? (10:30pm)
Alan B.: ZZ (10:30pm)
Alan B.: Moar technical adjustments! (10:31pm)
Dr. Penny: It's the sexy BobMarc. (10:31pm)
Alan B.: He's dreamy. (10:32pm)
vj pussycat: let's talk about tools (10:32pm)
Alan B.: Who had the key to the wardroom safe? (10:33pm)
Alan B.: BobMarc's Tool Talk (10:33pm)
Alan B.: Imagine how shittty Spaulding would have been if he hadn't performed it 2000 times. (10:34pm)
Alan B.: Get well, KrOB! (10:36pm)
vj pussycat: have you seen gravity? (10:37pm)
Alan B.: S-P-O-I-L-E-R-S (10:38pm)
Alan B.: "Bitch! Cunt! Die!" -- That hack Spaulding Gray, 10:38 p.m., 1/8/2014 (10:39pm)
Alan B.: Tech douchebags? Hello? (10:39pm)
Alan B.: Dead Milkmen - Takin retards to the Zoo http://bit.ly/1ijzI3U (10:40pm)
Alan B.: BOBMARC IS NOW EVEN MORE DREAMY IF THAT IS EVEN POSSIBLE! (10:41pm)
Alan B.: "Too many notes." -- Dr. Fiasco, 10:41 p.m., 1/8/2014 (10:42pm)
Alan B.: Hurting Dr. Fiasco -- http://bit.ly/1ijA8aq (10:44pm)
Alan B.: There's a dead cockatiel on the landing. (10:45pm)
Alan B.: What's his diocese? (10:45pm)
Alan B.: How should I know? (10:45pm)
Alan B.: It's tattooed on the back of its neck! (10:46pm)
vj pussycat: was her name angie? (10:48pm)
Alan B.: Tip your server, try the veal (10:48pm)
Alan B.: D-O-U-C-H-E-B-A-G (10:50pm)
Alan B.: LOL Libel per se (10:50pm)
Alan B.: Dirty, filthy, disgusting boids. (10:51pm)
vj pussycat: good thing she didn't have a lava lamp (10:51pm)
Alan B.: Douchebag contracting (10:53pm)
Alan B.: Dead Parrot http://bit.ly/1ijBLox (10:56pm)
Alan B.: The dawn of the 'start-up douchebag': San Francisco locals disturbed as Google, Facebook, Apple and eBay professionals move in http://ind.pn/1ijBTVi (10:57pm)
Alan B.: DON'T SAY KIEKO!~ (10:57pm)
Alan B.: Douchebags Like You Are Ruining San Francisco http://bit.ly/1ijC2I5 (10:58pm)
Dr. Penny: That is soooooo great. Dualing Fiascos!!!!!! (10:58pm)
Alan B.: Jason Nazar's Blog Docstoc Contact RSS Twitter The Top 10 Types of Douchebags in Tech and How NOT to Be One http://bit.ly/1ijC8zI (10:59pm)
Alan B.: Deuling Joe Cockers http://bit.ly/1ijCjLc (11:00pm)
The Boyfriend: I resemble that remark (11:00pm)
The Boyfriend: Ruiners Like You Are Douching San Francisco (11:00pm)
Don Draper: No. Funnier. (11:01pm)
Alan B.: The New Silicon Valley Douchebag http://tcrn.ch/1ijCHJE (11:02pm)
Alan B.: 'Douchebags Like You Are Ruining San Francisco,' Gen-X Techie Says To Millennial Techies http://bit.ly/1ijCNB2 (11:02pm)
We: are on the back of a huge killer turtle (11:03pm)
Alan B.: Hey, you! "Tech people" are not the douchebags you think we are http://bit.ly/1ijCV3v (11:03pm)
Capt Beginning: Come back to me... (11:03pm)
The Bird: I am haunt u (11:04pm)
Alan B.: 20 lb frozen turkey in a bird cage (11:04pm)
Alan B.: The bird's name was cocksucker (11:04pm)
The Bird: U shopuld bake "Found Cockatail" (11:04pm)
Alan B.: "Here, Cocksucker!" (11:04pm)
Dad Parrot: leave me out of this (11:05pm)
Alan B.: P-I-N-I-N-G F-O-R T-H-E F-J-O-R-D-S (11:06pm)
Alan B.: VERBOTEN (11:07pm)
Alan B.: That makes months and months of piracy disappear. The FCC will completely ignore that. (11:08pm)
Eating: meeting (11:08pm)
Alan B.: But it's okay because they're gay! (11:10pm)
Alan B.: The Queer Community Has to Stop Being Transphobic: Realizing My Cisgender Privilege http://huff.to/1ijEqPa (11:11pm)
Alan B.: Douchebag humor (11:12pm)
Alan B.: On Hipsters http://bit.ly/1ijFOBr (11:20pm)
Alan B.: I would have guessed Hervé Villechaize (11:26pm)
Alan B.: Hurting Hal . . . (11:27pm)
Alan B.: What hasn't been ruined in SF? (11:35pm)
Alan B.: ZZ (11:39pm)
Alan B.: Thanks! (11:40pm)
The Only: Lee Harvey RestErant (11:41pm)
Alan B.: THOSE people (11:43pm)
Alan B.: I ruined the chatbox! (11:49pm)
The Only: Hipster on the Show the Show (11:50pm)
The Only: Coup Daze: one tape recording and two planes couped Guatamalas (11:53pm)
Alan B.: And on that note, love and kisses. See ya! (11:55pm)
The Only: listener is still here (11:57pm)
Bacteria: We're here (11:58pm)
Bacteria: And Stalin (11:58pm)
The Matrix: We Watching You. (11:59pm)
vj pussycat: i would like to reserve a room at the fiasco towers for the live ask dr. hal event (12:05am)
And: a two century vitus dance party (12:05am)

It's 30 days until the Lunar New Year, which means that it's high time to figure out which Assyrian demon you'll pray to in 2014! Why not Pazuzu, son of Hanpa, king of the evil spirits of the air which issues violently from mountains, causing much havoc? On the first FINAL BROADCAST of Pazuzu era of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, starting at the super-special time of 8pm, Karen Carpenter, Bob-Marc, and Sherilyn Connelly (with lesser fiends KrOB and/or Puzzling Evidence) will choose Pazuzu for all their demoniac needs. And remember, it's either him or Obamacare.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: The Low Power of Community Radio compels you.

Chatroom History
January 1, 2014 8:00pm - 3:30am

Alan B. : I have to walk the dog, (8:09pm)
Alan B. : Joe Isuzu? (8:10pm)
Alan B. : Pazuzu, Isuzu, Hassenphepper Incorporated. (8:13pm)
Alan B. : Radio runs backwards south of the equator. (8:14pm)
Alan B. : I blame it on the Bossanova. (8:44pm)
Alan B. : LOL (8:45pm)
Alan B. : As ever. (8:45pm)
Alan B. : 8 a.m., damn my eyes. (8:45pm)
Alan B. : No Sherlock spoilers tonight? (8:47pm)
Alan B. : Not sex positive. (8:50pm)
Alan B. : In Assyrian and Babylonian mythology, Pazuzu (sometimes Fazuzu or Pazuza) was the king of the demons of the wind, and son of the god Hanbi. He also represented the southwestern wind, the bearer of storms and drought. (8:50pm)
Alan B. : Although Pazuzu is, himself, an evil spirit, he drives away other evil spirits, therefore protecting humans against plagues and misfortunes. (8:51pm)
Alan B. : He is described therein as "Lord of all fevers and plagues, grinning Dark Angel of the Four Wings, horned, with rotting genitalia," and as the "brother of HUMAWAW." (8:52pm)
Alan B. : MWOWM (8:53pm)
Alan B. : Pazuzu is a gargoyle who Professor Farnsworth owned and put through college. Pazuzu escaped and due to Farnsworth's senility he could not be found. However it is later revealed that he was hiding on a wing of the Planet Express ship and when Farnsworth was drowning in the Fountain of Aging, Pazuzu saved him and in reward Farnsworth granted him freedom. (8:54pm)
Alan B. : And zhat, little one, is how papa gained his freedom. Now, bonne nuit, bonne nuit to you all. (8:55pm)
Alan B. : Repossessed is a 1990 comedy film that belatedly spoofs the 1973 horror film The Exorcist. It was written and directed by Bob Logan. The film features the original star of The Exorcist, Linda Blair, as well as Leslie Nielsen and Anthony Starke. (8:56pm)
Alan B. : The film received mostly negative reviews. (8:57pm)
Alan B. : Exorcist parodies: http://bit.ly/1dbAvPF (8:58pm)
Alan B. : The true obscenity appears! That mean old man Pete Goldie is hurting us with that vocoder! (8:59pm)
Alan B. : Marvel Universe Wiki: Pazuzu (9:02pm)
Alan B. : http://bit.ly/1dbAV8I (9:02pm)
Alan B. : Academic paper on Pazuzu: http://bit.ly/1dbBdfQ (9:04pm)
Alan B. : You are all too kind. (9:05pm)
Alan B. : I only made it though because of NHLG. (9:05pm)
Alan B. : Where the white women at? (9:07pm)
Alan B. : Speaking of ancient atrocities. . . (9:10pm)
Alan B. : Pazuzu represents balance and perception and, because he possesses the knowledge of both heaven and hells, a force that can both bless and kill. http://bit.ly/1dbBWh1 (9:11pm)
Sherilyn: Up for a Louvre trip, Alan? http://bit.ly/1dbC2oY (9:11pm)
Alan B. : Alexander George "Alex" Karras (July 15, 1935 %u2013 October 10, 2012), nicknamed "The Mad Duck" (9:12pm)
Alan B. : I like, Sherilyn! (9:13pm)
Alan B. : Paid? You don't get paid! You work on commission, that's better than getting paid! http://bit.ly/1dbCiUY (9:14pm)
Alan B. : Only an asshole gets killed for a car. (9:14pm)
Alan B. : "As an actor, Karras is noted for his role as Mongo in the 1974 comedy film Blazing Saddles," ... (9:16pm)
Alan B. : also starring . . . Clevon Little! (9:17pm)
Alan B. : Karras was drafted in the first round of the NFL draft by the Detroit Lions in 1958. (9:18pm)
Alan B. : Will there be cheese cookies? (9:18pm)
Alan B. : LEAVE HAL ALONE!! (9:19pm)
Alan B. : He can't get the door code, the FBI's closed for the holiday. (9:19pm)
Alan B. : In his later years, Karras suffered several serious health problems, including dementia, heart disease, and cancer. (9:20pm)
Alan B. : "I am Pazuzu, son of Hanpa, king of the evil spirits of the air which issues violently from mountains, causing much havoc." (9:21pm)
Alan B. : Karras did not earn a football letter for the 1955 season. (9:22pm)
Alan B. : After Blazing Saddles, Little appeared in many less successful films, such as Greased Lightning, FM, High Risk, Scavenger Hunt, Jimmy the Kid, Surf II and Toy Soldiers. (9:23pm)
Sherilyn: And Fletch Lives! (9:24pm)
Alan B. : Modern students of the occult know Pazuzu as a member of the vanguard of Shaitan-Set and pursue the Path of Pazuzu to slake a thirst for wisdom and to aid in independent growth along the Left Hand way. (9:26pm)
Alan B. : The film leads us to believe that he is the possessing culprit, but this is really incongruous to Pazuzu%u2019s nature as a protector of those who know him and call upon him to avenge injustices in their lives. (9:26pm)
Alan B. : During his exile, Karras returned to pro wrestling, taking on such memorable characters as Dick the Bruiser (9:27pm)
Alan B. : Oh, how I wish there were more than a brief trailer online: Exorcistic "An Exorcist Rock Musical Parody" http://kck.st/1dbEdJc (9:32pm)
Alan B. : Karras' sophomore year with Iowa in 1955 got off to a rocky start when he showed up for practice twenty pounds overweight. (9:36pm)
Alan B. : Karras died in the morning hours of October 10 from complications caused by kidney failure. (9:37pm)
Alan B. : "Pazuzu, Lord of Fevers and Plagues, Dark Angel of the Four Winds with rotting genitals from which he howls through sharpened teeth over stricken cities%u2026." William S. Burroughs, Cities of the Red Night (9:37pm)
Alan B. : Is this the part where Hal and Puzzling watch TV? (9:39pm)
Alan B. : Smoked fish. (9:43pm)
Alan B. : http://bit.ly/1dbFpfx (9:43pm)
Alan B. : LA Stage Times Features -- It Isn%u2019t The Exorcist, But It%u2019s Exorcistic (9:43pm)
Alan B. : After first threatening to retire rather than give it up, Karras admitted placing bets on NFL games and was suspended by the league, along with Green Bay Packers' running back Paul Hornung, for one season (1963). (9:45pm)
Alan B. : MAD: THE ECCHORCIST http://bit.ly/1dbFMqz (9:47pm)
Alan B. : I'll just kill myself, how about that? (9:54pm)
Alan B. : What the hell does an asteroid have to do with Alex Karras?! (9:59pm)
Alan B. : Pazuzu on the moon. (10:00pm)
Alan B. : ARE THERE ANY ANCHIENT MESOPOTAMIAN DEMONS OUT THERE TONIGHT!? (10:04pm)
Karen Carpenter: coming coming (10:09pm)
Alan B. : You can't fool me. That's Puzzling Evidence. (10:10pm)
Alan B. : I feel funny around Linda Blair because not only did she agree to do Born Innocent, but they put it on network TV: (10:14pm)
Alan B. : No, not gonna link the broomstick rape. (10:14pm)
Sherilyn: That's not her fault! Stop blaming the victim! (10:14pm)
Alan B. : I agree. Poor Linda. (10:15pm)
Sherilyn: Pazuzu sings! http://bit.ly/Kkfqfn (10:22pm)
Alan B. : I can't call in, I'm dead. (10:26pm)
Alan B. : You might have to register at the police station. (10:27pm)
Alan B. : Pazuzu really is singing! Backup! (10:28pm)
Sherilyn: The song title, no less! (10:29pm)
Alan B. : And Terry Gilliam needs a royalty check. (10:29pm)
Alan B. : Dedication to Pazuzu: http://bit.ly/Kkg7oR (10:33pm)
Alan B. : Keep calm: http://bit.ly/KkgcJh (10:34pm)
Alan B. : Pazuzu is super effective: http://bit.ly/Kkgfoz (10:35pm)
Alan B. : Pazuzu gets all the chicks: http://bit.ly/KkglfN (10:36pm)
Alan B. : Tony Silvester: Pazuzu (disco) http://bit.ly/Kkgz6C (10:39pm)
Alan B. : Karras was called an "iron man" since he missed only one game due to injury in his 12 NFL seasons and his 161 games played are the 15th most in Lions history. (10:41pm)
Alan B. : Hi, Hal! (10:41pm)
Alan B. : WWV (10:46pm)
Alan B. : The boundaries of the early land of Chaldea are not identified with precision by historians. (10:48pm)
Alan B. : The homeland of the Semitic Chaldean people was in the far south east of Mesopotamia. (10:48pm)
Alan B. : This Demon God of the South West Wind represents one of the earliest personifications of the %u201Cdevil%u201D in the Persian pantheon, and his influence is considered both baneful and beneficent, depending upon one%u2019s relationship with him. (10:51pm)
Alan B. : Pazuzu represents balance and perception and, because he possesses the knowledge of both heaven and hells, a force that can both bless and kill. (10:52pm)
Alan B. : hough conquerors, the Chaldeans were rapidly and completely assimilated into the dominant Semitic Akkadian Babylonian culture, as the Amorites before them had been, and after the fall of Babylon in 539 BC the term "Chaldean" was no longer used to describe a specific ethnicity, but rather a socio-economic class. (10:57pm)
Alan B. : I loved that book. But it was pretty darn literal. (11:02pm)
Alan B. : Crumb loves Jews. (11:04pm)
Alan B. : R. Crumb is a freakish libertine. (11:05pm)
Alan B. : He also spends a lot of time speaking French. (11:06pm)
Alan B. : I dream of meeting him but I am certain that it would be a disappointing experience. (11:06pm)
Alan B. : Like me, R. Crumb has a bridge on his front teeth. (11:07pm)
Reptilian Overlord: ayiayiayiayiayiayiayi (11:12pm)
Alan B. : Karras did not enjoy his trip to the Rose Bowl. (11:18pm)
Alan B. : Dads are always assholes in US culture. (11:19pm)
Alan B. : LOLOLOLOLOL (11:19pm)
Alan B. : AOL is huring me! (11:20pm)
Alan B. : A Chaos-demon who lusts after the flesh of humankind, Pazuzu will nonetheless often exercise his power on behalf of those whom he sees as victims of injustice and calumny. (11:21pm)
Alan B. : I pray for a world where Dr. Hal voices Skeletor. (11:24pm)
Alan B. : Unless you illegally download it from a torrent and have already seen it. (11:26pm)
Alan B. : "...Mongo only pawn in game of life." (11:27pm)
vj pussycat: happy new year y'all! what'd I miss? (11:27pm)
Reptilian Overlord: the end of time (11:28pm)
Alan B. : Hello, there! Pazuzu, Joe Izusu, and R. Crumb drawing multiple Jews. (11:28pm)
Reptilian Overlord: So- the Gland has Hal now? (11:29pm)
Alan B. : Yes, his standing Wednesday dinner-date has been moveed. Please adjust your Google Calendar. (11:30pm)
Alan B. : ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ (11:30pm)
Reptilian Overlord: The Nose Hair Lint Gland Vortex is swallowing all (11:30pm)
Reptilian Overlord: funny how the show info still has Dr. Fiasco - that guy is dead and gone (11:31pm)
vj pussycat: I hung out with dr fiasco tonight (11:31pm)
Reptilian Overlord: I made him leave (11:31pm)
Reptilian Overlord: oops thhat was a secret (11:32pm)
Alan B. : There are no secrets on NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND. (11:32pm)
vj pussycat: And mrs doctor fiasco and baby fiasco (11:33pm)
Reptilian Overlord: Where is Dougling Wellvedence? (11:33pm)
Reptilian Overlord: The pyramids in China are screaming at the world, andno one is listening (11:34pm)
Alan B. : We need the news from Guam. (11:35pm)
Reptilian Overlord: they even try to grow trees on them to help bury the truth (11:35pm)
Alan B. : Pete wants to go low-power mad. (11:36pm)
vj pussycat: and I was talking about sherilyn - were your ears burning? (11:38pm)
Dr. Penny: Oooo, feast of the vampire leprechauns! (11:40pm)
Alan B. : Tubular bells! My parents had a quad 8-track from the cutout bin! (11:40pm)
Alan B. : Dr. Penny! RO! This is a goddamn party! (11:40pm)
Sherilyn: Sure, why not? (11:41pm)
vj pussycat: woo hoo (11:41pm)
Alan B. : Not to mention the anti-vulture propaganda in The Jungle Book, where they had Liverpudlian accents. (11:43pm)
vj pussycat: maybe the kangaroo ate your baby (11:43pm)
Alan B. : We refuse to leave. Make us, ya bullies! (11:45pm)
Alan B. : I loved how Spock would listen to the direct digital output from the computer, because he was just that cool. (11:47pm)
Alan B. : Okay, I give. G'nite, chatroom! G'nite, show! (11:48pm)
vj pussycat: nighty night alan b (11:50pm)
Reptilian Overlord: g-night (11:50pm)
Reptilian Overlord: lol Krob (11:50pm)
Reptilian Overlord: radio is best in bed (11:51pm)
vj pussycat: I just got here (11:52pm)
Reptilian Overlord: you said "here" lol (11:54pm)
vj pussycat: where (11:55pm)
vj pussycat: what's the number (11:58pm)
Reptilian Overlord: gotta have the wilhelm scream (12:01am)
Reptilian Overlord: tickle my brain (12:05am)
vj pussycat: dropped call? (12:06am)
Reptilian Overlord: agreed Pete- well put (12:07am)
Reptilian Overlord: buy the ticket- take the ride (12:08am)
Reptilian Overlord: lol fuckin Krob (12:12am)
Reptilian Overlord: lol (12:13am)
vj pussycat: that is awesome (12:14am)
vj pussycat: ronnie (12:14am)
Reptilian Overlord: Ride the tiga! (12:14am)
vj pussycat: for some reason he's not as funny as Brian Johnson (12:14am)
Reptilian Overlord: these are so great (12:16am)
vj pussycat: you're killin us! pyromania (12:19am)
Reptilian Overlord: c-c-c-c- cocaine baby (12:20am)
Dr. Penny: The gland is activated. (12:20am)
Reptilian Overlord: c-c-c-c ok c-c-c im sorry (12:20am)
Reptilian Overlord: rofl (12:21am)
Reptilian Overlord: love it (12:31am)
Reptilian Overlord: its a lifestyle baby (1:02am)
Reptilian Overlord: glad you guys are still on (1:23am)
Reptilian Overlord: goodnight sweet princes (1:41am)

'Twas the night before Kwanzaa, and all through the neighborhood was heard kids who had a lot of sugar, dozens of plastic toys from Shanghai, and far too many confusing and contradictory falsehoods about the season narrated to them in oh-so earnest tones by adults teetering on bankruptcy, moral uncertainty and drunkenness. Could there ever be a better time for tonight's Very Special FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND? "Very Special?", you say to yourself wiping crumbs and spilled eggnog off your chin, looking across the mountain of needless packaging to recycle and credit card debt to default on... "VERY SPECIAL?!?... HOW FUCKING SPECIAL IS IT, YOU DAMN RADIO SHOW, 'CAUSE ALL I GOT BESIDES THIS UGLY SWEATER IS A GOUTER, REFLUX AND THUMB SLICED ON A $150 CHEESE GRATER FROM WILLIAMS AND SONOMA WITHOUT A RETURN RECEIPT!!!?!"

Very special. Featuring that never seen in the same place before couple Karen Carpenter and Z.... and special guest stars.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: The War on Christmas you've been hearing so much about? Here.

Chatroom History
December 25, 2013 10:00pm - 4:30am

Sherilyn: I've just about had my fill of Santa on the moon. (10:00pm)
Alan B.: Sounds good on the stream! (10:04pm)
Sherilyn: Hey, I'm not there! (10:05pm)
Sherilyn: HI SARAH!!!!!!!!!!!! (10:05pm)
Alan B.: Hey, Sherily, get the hell out of the chatbox. You're classing the place up too much. (10:06pm)
Sherilyn: Wow. It's like I'm not not there. (10:06pm)
Sherilyn: Everybody call Juan! (10:09pm)
Sherilyn: ALAN CALL JUAN RIGHT NOW. (10:09pm)
Alan B.: Tell that louch lizard to stop fucking up karen's show. (10:09pm)
Alan B.: I'm a-scared to now that I wrote that. (10:10pm)
Alan B.: Merry Christmas, Juan! (10:10pm)
Sherilyn: The Parkland writeup in this article is my Xmas present to Karen: http://bit.ly/JebRqf (10:11pm)
Alan B.: Christmas is for kids. If my kids are happy, I'm happy. (10:11pm)
Alan B.: Dr. Hal in uniform! (10:13pm)
Sherilyn: Enh, Military SCIENCE. That doesn't count! (10:13pm)
Alan B.: Yeah, everybody knows SCIENCE is bad! (10:14pm)
Sherilyn: Mrs. Connelly's my mom! (10:15pm)
Sherilyn: Also, Ross Bagdasarian is from Fresno, where I for some reason currently am. (10:15pm)
Sherilyn: I saw Malcolm Tucker as the new Doctor tonight! (10:16pm)
Alan B.: My buddy at work gave me a copy of his collection of every extant Doctor Who episode. It's sitting on a 1Tb SDD in my desk. I'll be happy to make a copy for anyone who ships me a 1Tb SSD. (10:18pm)
Alan B.: First Doctor: http://bit.ly/JecobF (10:18pm)
Sherilyn: Best Doctor: http://bit.ly/JecrEq (10:19pm)
Alan B.: I can't wait to see him at it. (10:19pm)
Alan B.: My daughter didn't like skinny Matt Smith nor Moffat's messed up plotting, so she doesn't care to see The Time of the Doctor. (10:22pm)
Sherilyn: Kids these days! (10:23pm)
Sherilyn: We've done Santa's Slay at Bad Movie Night a few times. (10:23pm)
Alan B.: But we enjoyed Day of the Doctor, so maybe I can get her to get into the next doctor. We also don't have BBC on our poverty cable. (10:23pm)
Sherilyn: Have you seen Gravity yet, Pete? (10:25pm)
Sherilyn: Santa's Slay does have more curling than you typically find in either a horror movie OR a Christmas movie, though. (10:25pm)
Alan B.: Iron curling or stone curling? (10:26pm)
Sherilyn: Whatever kind of curling this is: http://bit.ly/JecX5l (10:27pm)
Sherilyn: WRONG ANSWER! (10:27pm)
Sherilyn: Smaaaaaaaaaaaaug. (10:28pm)
Alan B.: That prettyboy Cumberbatch is in that one, aurally. (10:28pm)
Sherilyn: Yeah, but it could be anyone. It might as well be Peter Jackson doing the voice. (10:28pm)
Sherilyn: Karen, you missed out SO MUCH on Lone Survivor. Best comedy of 2014 so far. (10:29pm)
Alan B.: Cumberbatch is the dreamboat around here. We're back around to the younguns being all excited by bloodless, underfed Britons. (10:29pm)
Alan B.: Hal, fuck everyone in the chatbox. (10:30pm)
Alan B.: Except for Sherilyn. (10:30pm)
Sherilyn: We're both Puzzling Evidence! (10:30pm)
Alan B.: I've been Puzzling Evidence for years! (10:31pm)
Alan B.: They can not mention it for a million years, Uncle Charlie is going to laugh in Radio Valencia's face when they submit their application for LPFM. They should save the engineering survey money. (10:32pm)
Alan B.: This show is going well, BTW. (10:33pm)
BobMarc: Hey guys...checking in from my sisters house in Three Rivers CA. (10:33pm)
Alan B.: Hello, BobMarc! Merry Xistliestlessmess. (10:33pm)
Sherilyn: Wait, which three rivers??? (10:33pm)
BobMarc: Glad you Dr Hal to flesh out the banter (10:34pm)
BobMarc: The one near Visalia (10:34pm)
Sherilyn: Alan B / Sarah / Marc, when you scroll down to the bottom of this page, is it like ALL spamdexing? (10:35pm)
Alan B.: I don't know what you mesothelioma mean? (10:36pm)
BobMarc: What's Spamdexing? (10:36pm)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/JedEve (10:37pm)
Alan B.: Sex with elves positive. (10:37pm)
Sherilyn: I'm going to tell on you for being sex-negative! or something. (10:37pm)
Sherilyn: YOU'LL BE HEARING FROM AND 4 PEAS ABOUT THIS. (10:38pm)
BobMarc: I wonder if there are furries into Santa's raindeer (10:39pm)
Alan B.: No, they keep making me pay: http://bit.ly/JedLHh (10:39pm)
RevQueefLatino: Frankenstien Gangster Santa Computer God in my Nigger Town house (10:40pm)
vj pussycat: santa's reindeer ARE furries (10:40pm)
Sherilyn: Moar Haunted! (10:41pm)
BobMarc: no they're reindeer (10:42pm)
Alan B.: That feel when you close the RV window with the stream. (10:42pm)
BobMarc: a person drressed up like Blixen is a furry (10:43pm)
Alan B.: NSFW: http://bit.ly/Jee5G6 (10:44pm)
RevQueefLatino: Hipsters (10:44pm)
RevQueefLatino: Flipsters (10:44pm)
RevQueefLatino: Finger Poppin Daddys - Lend me yer Lobes (10:44pm)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/Jee8S5 (10:44pm)
vj pussycat: reindeer dressed as furries (10:44pm)
Alan B.: ^^ Crazy Eddie (10:44pm)
RevQueefLatino: at least you guys dont talk with food in your mouth like roper (10:45pm)
Sherilyn: BEAT THE HEAT! http://bit.ly/Jeed8q (10:45pm)
Alan B.: ^^ This link is earlier and therefore more authentic. (10:46pm)
RevQueefLatino: i take that back (10:46pm)
Sherilyn: Nothing is more authentic than Crazy Eddie yelling "Beat the heeeeeeeeeeat!" into the camera. (10:47pm)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/Jeelok (10:47pm)
Alan B.: Clarel: A Poem and Pilgrimage in the Holy Land (1876) http://bit.ly/JeerfN (10:48pm)
BobMarc: Yes Alan those are Furry type reindeer. (10:49pm)
IlikeChiChis: is Krob gonna be there tonight? (10:49pm)
Alan B.: CHRISTMAS FANCY DRESS # RUDOLF REINDEER MAN KINI http://bit.ly/JeeBE3 (10:50pm)
vj pussycat: that was not furry enough (10:51pm)
Sherilyn: Mmm. pie. http://bit.ly/JeeHeU (10:52pm)
IlikeChiChis: a treat to have hal (10:52pm)
Alan B.: Eight minutes to KrOB's Station ID, now with no frequency mention (10:52pm)
IlikeChiChis: lol (10:53pm)
Alan B.: I still wanna replace the lava lamp, but I demand a brass plaque. (10:53pm)
Sherilyn: ...hey, that's me! (10:54pm)
Alan B.: Okay, the magic search terms were "gfur reindeer." http://bit.ly/JeeNTEen-US:official&c hannel=fflb&tbm=isch&source=iu&imgil =oKNyL9jW2ivRcM%253A%253Bhttps%253A% 252F%252Fencrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com% 252Fimages%253Fq%253Dtbn%253AANd9GcQ GIWhOOR1J7tnjYPew-jIJ0km4MR7vwjT2PWL _Cn58nfB31Mc1KA%253B380%253B261%253B R3c8bZ7DsGZUvM%253Bhttp%25253A%25252 F%25252Fwww.oregonlive.com%25252Fhil lsboro%25252Findex.ssf%25252F2012%25 252F11%25252Fnuncrackers_musical_pok es_good.html&sa=X&ei=cNG7UtLwH-mqyQG SwIGoAQ&ved=0CC8Q9QEwAQ&biw=1280&bih =635#channel=fflb&q=gfur+reindeer&rl s=org.mozilla:en-US:official&tbm=isc h&facrc=_&imgdii=_&imgrc=3iD5EUzIo3L JiM%3A%3B4gKEgC8zgyPLkM%3Bhttp%253A% 252F%252Ffc05.deviantart.net%252Ffs3 2%252Fi%252F2008%252F232%252Fc%252F5 %252FReindeer_Furry_by_Merman1234.jp g%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.deviantar t.com%252Fmorelikethis%252F95324208% 253Fview_mode%253D2%3B600%3B1087 (10:54pm)
Alan B.: Dammit! http://bit.ly/JeePLn (10:55pm)
IlikeChiChis: you in fresno Sheri? (10:55pm)
Sherilyn: I. Am. (10:55pm)
IlikeChiChis: ahh- good deal (10:56pm)
IlikeChiChis: i love that louis therox documentry on fresno (10:56pm)
IlikeChiChis: "The city Addicted to Crystal Meth" - ahh I miss home (10:57pm)
Alan B.: Old fashion Christmas decorating in Fresno's Tower District http://bit.ly/Jef1u5 (10:57pm)
IlikeChiChis: hope you all are having a gay day (10:57pm)
IlikeChiChis: My hometown is the Nations Christmas Tree city - see if you can guess without cheating (10:58pm)
Sherilyn: Hrm. Never seen that doc. (10:58pm)
IlikeChiChis: any documentry with that guy is fucking awesome (10:58pm)
Sherilyn: Well, America's tallest living Christmas tree is on Huntington Blvd in Fresno... (10:58pm)
IlikeChiChis: he did two films about the infamous phelp family - he stays with the people he fatures (11:00pm)
IlikeChiChis: *features (11:00pm)
IlikeChiChis: ballsy and hillarious (11:00pm)
Alan B.: That guy completely screws up Hal's chatbox. He needs an IP ban. (11:01pm)
IlikeChiChis: Sanger - I guess the nations christmas tree is The General Grant (11:01pm)
IlikeChiChis: who? (11:02pm)
Alan B.: Anecdote is not the singular of data. (11:02pm)
Sherilyn: Let's dig up Frank Capra to see if he can figure out why we fight. (11:02pm)
Alan B.: Spy Radio in World War II: "Strategic Service Transmitter-Receiver http://bit.ly/Jefmgr (11:03pm)
Sherilyn: That was also an ST:TNG episode called "Future Imperfect." (11:04pm)
IlikeChiChis: original bluetooth (11:04pm)
IlikeChiChis: i just got done watching ST. TNG the episode where data creates his own daughter (11:05pm)
IlikeChiChis: i need a good place to stream ST free with out all the ads (11:05pm)
IlikeChiChis: watched First Contact tonight- fuckin great, im a ST newb (11:06pm)
Alan B.: I was surprised that Dr. Hal forgot that it was Normandie. (11:07pm)
Sherilyn: It's the best of the TNG movies, to be sure. (11:07pm)
Alan B.: Sword Juno Gold Omaha Utah (11:08pm)
Alan B.: KrOB's station ID was awesome. (11:08pm)
Boob: they dont have great set design like that anymore- all fuckin green screen (11:09pm)
Boob: glad you guys are doin a show tonight- great way to top of the holiday (11:10pm)
Boob: *off (11:10pm)
Alan B.: It could only be improved by Sherilyn and BobMarc's presence. (11:11pm)
vj pussycat: whatever happened to kristy mcnichol? (11:12pm)
Sherilyn: All the more reason for me to go to bed now! (11:12pm)
Boob: i dont miss Bobs constant snaking- Sherilyn rules though - i dont miss fiasco at all (11:12pm)
Alan B.: Whatever happened to Faye Wray? (11:15pm)
Sherilyn: Yep, crickets! Time to hit the sack. G'night, folks. Merry fuckin' Christmas. (11:16pm)
Alan B.: G'nite! (11:16pm)
Alan B.: Proximity effect: http://bit.ly/JegpNi%28audio%29 (11:18pm)
vj pussycat: don't dream it, be it (11:18pm)
Alan B.: Yes, Hal, back up off the mic. Your bass voice is overwhelming the pickup. (11:19pm)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/JegK2w%28lawgiver%29 (11:22pm)
Alan B.: We are pleased to hear of this addition to the show. (11:23pm)
vj pussycat: links not workin (11:24pm)
Alan B.: Poo! http://bit.ly/JegRey (11:25pm)
Alan B.: Uh, oh. (11:26pm)
vj pussycat: workin now (11:26pm)
Boob: nothing wrong with using the word nigger (11:27pm)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/JegRey (11:29pm)
Alan B.: Yes, Karen Carpenter is correct. (11:29pm)
Boob: political correctness is more evil than racism esp 2.0 (11:30pm)
Alan B.: No, it isn't. Hooray, fighting in the chatroom! (11:30pm)
Alan B.: Rolls CL151 Microphone Preamp Compressor and Gate $89.00 http://bit.ly/JehaFW (11:31pm)
Boob: honkey isnt a bad word (11:31pm)
Alan B.: Honky is offensive, but nigger is a word which reinforces white supremacy, which is evil. Perhaps the defining evil of our culture and empire. (11:32pm)
Boob: people need to get over the slavery guilt- we are all equally different and should laugh about and celebrate our differences with jokes and buzzwords (11:33pm)
Boob: it reinforces guilt over slavery (11:33pm)
Alan B.: It is not slavery guilt. It is acknowledgement that beyond and after slavery, US society is structured to enforce white supremacy. (11:33pm)
Boob: if it were a real insult they wouldnt call each other nigger (11:34pm)
Alan B.: Oy, vey. (11:34pm)
Alan B.: I am now disengaging from this discussion about "they.": (11:34pm)
Boob: no such thing as a white person (11:34pm)
Boob: mostly pinkish (11:34pm)
Alan B.: Because I'm missing Justin Credible who is always a joy and a delight. (11:35pm)
Boob: people who get offended offend me - political correctness is the real no no (11:36pm)
Alan B.: BBE Compressor/Limiter/Gate with Built-In BBE Sonic Maximizer $199.99 http://bit.ly/Jehu7L (11:37pm)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/Jehy7t (11:38pm)
Alan B.: Krampus is a hipster. (11:38pm)
Alan B.: Recursive show is recursive. (11:40pm)
Alan B.: Have they found the vape? (11:41pm)
XMas Intro: Vape these (11:44pm)
How's The PE: Yes phone (11:45pm)
Boob: KrOb Kringle (11:46pm)
Tonerr The Tiger: Ts great coywright (11:46pm)
Boob: holy shit that phone quality is horrible (11:47pm)
Death Star Crew: We're wanna go to sleep (11:48pm)
Death Star Crew: , m (11:49pm)
Death Star Crew: mmmmmm'church\ (11:49pm)
Death Star Crew: MMMMMMMchurch audiences only (11:49pm)
Death Star Crew: Red shirts in the Sunset (11:49pm)
Sputtering Halogence: LSMFT (11:51pm)
Sputtering Halogence: More Me Show bladder, loded and locked. (11:51pm)
Cramp Us: Is Dr. Fiasco in the house tonight? (11:52pm)
No: ayBab (11:52pm)
No: ay, aby (11:52pm)
Cramp Us: Champ-on-ya (11:53pm)
No: waybaby. (11:53pm)
Alan B.: That was fun. I'm amazed that Karen would distract himself with calls. Cutting edge experimental radio. (11:53pm)
Alan B.: Mom said I should have been a babortion. (11:53pm)
Prezustamente: And, we concur, jimmy. (11:55pm)
John Banjo B: Help, I'm trapped in a mental institution (11:58pm)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/JeiXej (12:01am)
Alan B.: ^^ Capt. Billy's Whiz Bang (12:01am)
B. Cumberpatch: And, and I'm a dragon. (12:01am)
Alan B.: Sherilyn bagged out during insect talk. (12:02am)
Alan B.: KrOB will brook no chatboxing. (12:02am)
Alan B.: Nose Hair Lint Gland Extra Innings, brought to you by Dr. Hal's all-new Larger Hadrons. (12:04am)
vj pussycat: give me a bucket (12:05am)
Alan B.: Mr. Creosote http://bit.ly/K5kcg7 (12:06am)
Alan B.: Radio Dumbassess burn up parkinglot with deepfried turkey http://bit.ly/K5kun2 (12:09am)
B. Cumberpatch: I'm still ad r gon. (12:10am)
B. Cumberpatch: and Hitlers skull (12:10am)
B. Cumberpatch: andF (12:11am)
B. Cumberpatch: nd (12:11am)
B. Cumberpatch: and F (12:11am)
B. Cumberpatch: and JFKs (12:12am)
Alan B.: Have you seen his brain? It's famously absent. (12:13am)
Grampus: It (12:14am)
Grampus: it's my time now (12:14am)
Alan B.: KrOB is hurting me with that Sgt. P. (12:14am)
Alan B.: I blame Faul for this catastrophe. (12:15am)
Alan B.: Ow. (12:17am)
Alan B.: Karen is mean man. (12:17am)
Alan B.: My apologies to KrOB . . . this time. (12:17am)
vj pussycat: play with your organ (12:18am)
Alan B.: Karen is raising a Unitarian. Will he take her to X-Day? (12:22am)
Alan B.: This program is evidence that: http://bit.ly/K5mz2d (12:27am)
Alan B.: You are on chat. (12:28am)
Alan B.: On air. I am on chat. (12:28am)
Grampus: q am the oone. (12:28am)
Alan B.: Lurkers, announce yourselves. (12:29am)
Motrin Junkies: We opened for Janor (12:29am)
Alan B.: When KrOB boots, aim for the Radio Valencia equipment. (12:29am)
The: Pudding Wars killed many desert eaters (12:32am)
The: Pudding Poppins family took care of many of the children (12:32am)
Physical Suffsion Institute: We Built That Bed (12:37am)
Physical Suffsion Institute: We built that bed (12:37am)
Alan B.: The largest Hadrons ever. (12:37am)
Alan B.: I'm riding this out to the bitter end in EST, so if you wish to completely screw up my Thursday, keep going. (12:38am)
vj pussycat: welcome to my world (12:38am)
Alan B.: I haven't been nice and said hello, vj! Merry Holidays! (12:39am)
vj pussycat: thx alan b me neither so back at you (12:40am)
Alan B.: Nicest chatbox ever. (12:40am)
vj pussycat: charming (12:40am)
Alan B.: Uh, Clem. (12:45am)
Alan B.: Slack (12:54am)
Alan B.: A Very Venture Christmas http://bit.ly/K5pXu9 (12:55am)
Alan B.: She's accidently poisoning children? (12:57am)
BoBO: mr benard! (1:01am)
Alan B.: Hello! (1:02am)
Alan B.: Egads, I'm unveiled. (1:02am)
BoBO: get your Jesus Toast here: http://bit.ly/K6QKqr (1:10am)
Alan B.: Once again, no chalice toast. (1:10am)
Alan B.: I just love Jerusalem, the poem. The Britons are nuts. (1:11am)
Alan B.: Yes, engineers are not loquatious. (1:11am)
Alan B.: Damn, Karen's taking it in the teeth. (1:12am)
Alan B.: Dr. Hal, Esq. (1:17am)
Alan B.: Half of a Karen Carpenter. . . a substantial sum. (1:18am)
Alan B.: Only one of 'em is dead. (1:18am)
vj pussycat: gratefully beastie (1:18am)
Alan B.: I am a fan. (1:19am)
BoBO: AYIAYIAYIAYIAYI (1:20am)
Alan B.: Hadrons, colliding . . . (1:21am)
Alan B.: Holy moley! I loved S. Clay in my dad's old National Lampoons! (1:27am)
Alan B.: We pray for the continued good health of third-age cartoonists everywhere. (1:27am)
Alan B.: Radio verite. (1:32am)
Alan B.: Indie Cred Fruit Jar. (1:34am)
BoBO: play some lord buckley (1:56am)
BoBO: libtarded (2:02am)
BoBO: I agree- Pete should do a show (2:27am)
BoBO: hes chicken johning out (2:27am)

ENGLISH! You may drink from the radio well. That... that thing over there may not. It is not a true listener. It is scum from the chatbox, let it fester with the other stink in there. Drink deep of the sweet radio waters.

Why is it, English, that you are so unhappy? Do you not like our hospitality? ... all the wine, the women, the bacon-wrapped blasphemy? Our detailed explanations of San Francisco building codes? The long unbelievable stories from Doylestown? REVERB ReVerb reverb ? I AM GENEROUS AND ALL YOU DO IS COMPLAIN!

ENGLISH! Eat this fig and sleep now. Tomorrow we ride to Aqaba, check out the bazaar, take in a movie and kill the infidels. It will be fun, Allah the Compassionate guarantees it. Bring your boy-servant, your rugs, your tea set, your copy of The Golden Bough and your mp3 player. I've got a righteous mix of Mohammad Wardi for the road. It sure beats that FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND with heathen god worshipers Karen Carpenter, Sherilyn Connelly, Bob-Marc and the other low power forms of life.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: "If I was to be an actor, I would love to be like Peter O'Toole." - Peter O'Toole


Chatroom History
December 18, 2013 10:00pm - 1:30am

Alan B. : Okay, my technical difficulties are now complete. SVCHOST has been vanquished. (10:19pm)
Alan B. : Does she get to sleep with Valerie Perrine? (10:24pm)
Alan B. : There is nothing wrong with NHLG. It is a flawless gem of triva. (10:25pm)
Alan B. : Oh, I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay. . . (10:28pm)
Alan B. : Peter O'Toole: Double-phallic name. (10:28pm)
Alan B. : If I were truly plastered, could I do this? (10:32pm)
2:26 into it...: : : : http://bit.ly/1epS70F (10:42pm)
Alan B.: Man, I'm missing a lot of this episode. Goddamn computer (11:04pm)
Alan B.: What's wrong with KrOB? (11:07pm)
Alan B.: A-choo. (11:07pm)
Alan B.: I'm afraid that I'm not shitting up the chatroom as much as usual. (11:08pm)
Alan B.: Oh, shit, I did, too. (11:09pm)
Alan B.: Not guilty. (11:09pm)
Alan B.: What's the statute of limitations on spreading affluenza? (11:12pm)
Alan B.: I remember when Peter O'Toole was bigger than Allah. (11:14pm)
Alan B.: The Ronnie Biggs Song /f Sex Pistols: http://bit.ly/1epUZL7 (11:15pm)
Alan B.: Harry Ronnie and his lover in a luke-warm hot tub. EWWWWW! (11:15pm)
Alan B.: The Bags - We Don't Need The English http://bit.ly/1epVvZv (11:21pm)
Alan B.: I cannot wait for next week's show. (11:22pm)
Alan B.: Guardian: Can we find a cure for affluenza? http://bit.ly/1epVCEs (11:22pm)
Alan B.: STOP TALKING ABOUT SHIT YOU KNOW ABOUT! (11:25pm)
Alan B.: IT BURNS! (11:25pm)
Alan B.: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzz (11:26pm)
Alan B.: The house that fell down owned by the former member of the inspection board or whatever? (11:27pm)
Alan B.: Collapsed home owned by San Francisco port commissioner http://bit.ly/1epW3Pg (11:28pm)
Alan B.: My graduation ceremony is Saturday at 2 p.m. (11:29pm)
Alan B.: Pete, take your affulenza and start another non-pirate non-low-power podcast studio. (11:31pm)
Alan B.: NIST Christmas Tree Fire Test http://bit.ly/1epWysy (11:33pm)
Alan B.: Thanks for the Groucho. (11:34pm)
tracy: Presents!!! (11:34pm)
tracy: Hello! (11:34pm)
Alan B.: Children need myths, you grouchy old cynic. (11:35pm)
tracy: I got your crampus right here! (11:35pm)
Alan B.: A Very Venture Christmas: http://bit.ly/1epWQ2w (11:37pm)
Alan B.: ^^^ Fast forward to about 9 mins in to find Krampus (11:38pm)
Alan B.: Santa goes to jail http://bit.ly/1epX6yu (11:40pm)
Alan B.: Dunaway and Peter O'Toole earned Golden Raspberry Award nominations for Worst Actress and Worst Actor, respectively, http://bit.ly/1epXdKo%28film%29 (11:42pm)
Alan B.: Although it is canon with the Superman films starring Christopher Reeve, it was not included in any of Warner Bros.' Superman DVD or Blu-ray box sets. (11:42pm)
Alan B.: Harry Paratestes (11:45pm)
Alan B.: George Strait All My Ex's Live In Texas Live http://bit.ly/1epXxZQ (11:46pm)
Alan B.: Phantoms (film) - Phantoms is a 1998 American science fiction horror film adapted from the 1983 novel Phantoms by Dean Koontz. http://bit.ly/1epXLjB%28film%29#Cast (11:49pm)
Alan B.: X - Dancing with Tears in my Eyes http://bit.ly/1epY2D6 (11:52pm)
Alan B.: Harlan Ellison Pay the Writer http://bit.ly/1epYeCe (11:55pm)
Alan B.: How droll. (11:58pm)
Alan B.: G'nite, NHLG. Enjoy your X-Mas, and be safe. (11:59pm)
Alan B.: He's calling from inside the house! (12:03am)
Alan B.: Bon soir. (12:07am)
Alan B.: Go away, Leave us listeners alone. (12:08am)

A lively and Informative 90-minute telethon with the leading Republican contender for the Presidency. Got a question? Whatever it is -- on any subject at all -- dial 415-962-7979 between 10pm and midnight tonight. Time permitting, Mr. Nixon will answer it along with the hundreds of others that will be coming in from all over California.

Whether you have a question or not, you'll want to be turned into tonight to the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND to "Ask Richard Nixon" -- an hour and a half of answers by the man who has been described by hosts Karen Carpenter, Bob-Marc, and Sherilyn Connelly as "the most unstumpable expert in American politics." It'll be Nixon at his informal, straight-talking best.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: Nixon's the One.

Chatroom History
December 11, 2013 10:00pm - 1:30am

DJdeadhair: http://bit.ly/1cpMzMP (10:32pm)
zero: 0 (10:33pm)
DJdeadhair: chatbox lives! (10:33pm)
OrinZ: There's nothing wrong with the catbox. It's the show which is buggy. (10:33pm)
Etenal: Frame is not on the YouseToobe; Media Burn certainly is (10:40pm)
Raking Rad: Dorothy Parker's parker (10:42pm)
DJdeadhair: there should be a bad adult movie night, sometime... (10:45pm)
Raking Rad: Prepare the motionpicture sickeness bags! (10:46pm)
Raking Rad: Rickard Nickson WAS the Golden Age of Porno-graphy (10:47pm)
Nick Exxon: fusck hime (10:52pm)
Dick Noxim: Presidential bugs fuck and die on popeyes (11:00pm)
Dick Noxim: That's my Secret Honor. (11:09pm)
Dick Noxim: So did Tom Ribbbins. (11:14pm)
President Maxxam: You're know Jacques Kennedey (11:15pm)
Khan!: Jame Evil Kirk (11:17pm)
Khan!: love commerrcal fur (11:19pm)
Khan!: who the fuck cares?! (11:20pm)
Another Celestial: need more show (11:20pm)
Another Celestial: and he had a store on Market St after Deadwood. (11:21pm)
Another Celestial: and the main young whore at the Bella Union is Powers Booths' daghter in actual, real, not-movie life. (11:22pm)
Another Celestial: Now watch "Life on Mars". (11:23pm)
DJdeadhair: whoa. did someone just say they find bikers aesthetically challenging!? (11:24pm)
UFO: peple gots him (11:26pm)
Holmes: that one is a gud un. (11:27pm)
Sherilyn: blog.wfmu.org/freeform/2010/09/richa rd-nixons-laugh-in.html (11:35pm)
Sherilyn: Again! http://bit.ly/1bxmMRJ (11:37pm)
Ron Ziegler: Shittawalk (11:53pm)
Ron Ziegler: he's the Premier of Thailand (11:53pm)
Any: more K Pop?! (11:54pm)
Any: more martian moms hating their egg burdens? (11:58pm)
NHLG: We're fucking gone. Finally. Thankfully. Forever. Without cure. No lie. No bull. No thing to see here. Move along. All done. Drone city. (12:04am)
NHLG: Still talking.....oh well.....oh, there. Cocksuckers....goodbye. (12:05am)
NHLG: Alan B. (12:05am)
Alen B.: I'm not him eithetrr;lkjkhbbnk;lew (12:06am)
vj pussycat: buh bye (12:06am)

"The calendar said 1970, but for millions of loyal television viewers it was the year that CBS gave them the finger. It has gone down in history as the Rural Purge and until CBS decided that for some bizarre reason Katie Couric was qualified to anchor the evening news broadcast, it was the biggest mistake that network had ever made. In one fell swoop of the axe, every tree was eliminated from the prime time lineup. That was the way that actor Pat Buttram, who played Mr. Haney on Green Acres, put it: "It was the year CBS killed everything with a tree in it."


Fred Silverman, the creative genius who gave the world Supertrain, had been installed as head of programming at CBS and he had decided that the network looked too rednecky. As a result, these shows were all immediately canceled: Beverly Hillbillies, Green Acres, Hee Haw, The Glenn Campbell Goodtime Hour, The Jim Nabors Show, and the spinoff of Andy Griffith called Mayberry RFD..."


That was written by some blogger who wasn't even alive to see the slaughter. Of course Karen Carpenter lived through it, and likes nothing less that a media critic lamenting the good ol' days of TV before "Buck Rogers in the 23rd Century". But you know what Karen Carpenter likes even less than know-it-all-media bloggers and NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND co-hosts (or know-it-all-media bloggers who are co-hosts)? Marginal themes for the show submitted by listeners.... and just to prove the hate, you will be forced to watch Carpenter, Sherilyn Connelly, Bob-Marc, KrOB, PuzzEv ruin the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND tonight at 10pm in LIVING COLOR!

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: Urban and urbane.

Chatroom History
December 4, 2013 10:00pm - 1:30am

Tom Brokaw: You all have trouble pronouncing your "L's." (10:06pm)
Puzzling Evidence: I'm afraid that Alan B. couldn't make it tonight. (10:07pm)
Puzzling Evidence: I know you don't care but Lou Reed drowned out the Pixley story. (10:09pm)
Puzzling Evidence: Pixley: http://bit.ly/192mTJ0 (10:10pm)
Puzzling Evidence: Who cares what happened to the Beverly Hillbillies: http://bit.ly/192mTJ0 (10:11pm)
Puzzling Evidence: No, this link: http://yhoo.it/192n3jm (10:12pm)
Alan B.: Trucker in hay-bale wreck near Pixley gets $1.9 million payout http://bit.ly/192nbPO (10:13pm)
Alan B.: Beverly Hillbillies A XXX Parody http://bit.ly/192nevg (10:14pm)
Alan B.: This looks like it might even be funny. (10:15pm)
Alan B.: We don't smoke marijuana in Muskogee http://bit.ly/192nv1e (10:17pm)
Alan B.: Tonight's Dr. Who reference: Andrew Pixley http://bit.ly/192nWIF (10:22pm)
Alan B.: ^^^ This article is written from a real world point of view (10:23pm)
Alan B.: Sadly, all of the copies of http://bit.ly/192ofDr* are taken down (10:25pm)
vj pussycat: I think jethro has a casino in Carson city nv (10:25pm)
Dr. Fiasco: Damn right. I am straight edge all the way now. (10:26pm)
Dr. Fiasco: Ah yes, Fko and I. happiest night of my life, singing the gay version of Oakie From Muskogee. Chicken kicked us out of the stage. (10:26pm)
Alan B.: XXX rock on, Dr. Fiasco (10:27pm)
Dr. Fiasco: I softly rock on (10:28pm)
Dr. Fiasco: like Styx (10:28pm)
Dr. Fiasco: I'm working, no singing for me. (10:28pm)
Dr. Fiasco: PLAY MORE THINGS ALL AT ONCE (10:29pm)
Dr. Fiasco: NOT ENOUGH THINGS! (10:29pm)
Dr. Fiasco: MORE! MORE! (10:29pm)
Dr. Penny: Dr. Fiasco, maybe you'll just HAVE to go to the studio to straighten the mess out! (10:30pm)
Alan B.: Okay, found it: Weird Al - Money For Nothing-Beverly Hillbillies http://bit.ly/192ofDr* (10:31pm)
Dr. Penny: Plus, everyone loves hearing Dr. Fiasco on the radio! (10:32pm)
Alan B.: I love this song and learned to play it on piano as a child. (10:33pm)
Alan B.: Dr. Faisco is a beloved guest host. Sean Kelly Halluciation as well. (10:34pm)
Alan B.: 1993: Jerry Springer with the Beverly Hillbillies Cast, pt. 1 of 2!! http://bit.ly/192oY7u (10:35pm)
Alan B.: Mmmmmmwha! (10:35pm)
Alan B.: I had mixed emotions about Mrs. Douglas, somewhere between wanting her to be my mom and my girlfriend. <-- Oversharing (10:37pm)
Alan B.: Dr. Fiasco, maybe if they added a drill press, or a pile driver? (10:39pm)
Alan B.: TVA at Work 1935 US Department of Interior, Tennessee Valley Authority http://bit.ly/192pB17 (10:42pm)
Alan B.: Never mind, it's a slilent film (!) (10:42pm)
Alan B.: Amy Adams red carpet at The Muppets http://bit.ly/192pHWp (10:44pm)
Alan B.: H. O. T. (10:44pm)
Alan B.: I just watched them endlessly in reruns. (10:52pm)
vj pussycat: Where's the list (10:52pm)
Alan B.: Beverly Hillbillies, stoners (10:52pm)
vj pussycat: Didn't they say bh, pj & bh? (10:53pm)
Alan B.: Hooterville is as well-understood a place as Daria's Lawndale or The Simpsons' Springfield: http://bit.ly/192qpDa (10:54pm)
Alan B.: Yes, vj, they did. (10:54pm)
vj pussycat: thought so. But wait. They're just now starting the hadron collider (10:55pm)
Alan B.: Sam Drucker, the grocer and postmaster, gives the Zip code for Hooterville as 40516½. 40516 is a Zip code for Lexington, Kentucky, a city 375 miles (604 km) from Chicago. (10:55pm)
Alan B.: ^^^ FUCKING SCIENCE! ^^^^^ (10:55pm)
vj pussycat: I love harmony khorine (10:55pm)
Alan B.: My particles. They are accelleratign. (10:56pm)
vj pussycat: which movie nobody likes but you, sherilyn? (10:56pm)
Alan B.: According to the logic of the script, Hooterville may be fairly close to New York City, as characters such as Oliver Wendell Douglas, a former New York City lawyer, and his wife Lisa's mother make trips to and from New York on an occasional basis and appear to make a round trip in a day's time. (10:57pm)
Alan B.: By the way, I got an A on my Microeconomics exam. (10:57pm)
vj pussycat: yes congrats (10:58pm)
Alan B.: Mais, oui. (10:58pm)
Sherilyn: "Only God Forgives," VJ. (10:58pm)
Alan B.: Merci. (10:59pm)
vj pussycat: tu francais? (10:59pm)
Alan B.: Ma femme est francais. (10:59pm)
Alan B.: I have a great job working for a contractor of a Big 10 university temping in the IT office for one of their engineering departments. (11:00pm)
Alan B.: Because I chucked that stupid BA in Communications and got a BS in SCIENCE. (11:00pm)
Alan B.: J'ai habiter en France pendent tres ans. (11:01pm)
vj pussycat: des quelle age? (11:02pm)
Alan B.: This hour of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND brought to you by Radio Valencia brand Large Hadron Collider Cleaner (11:03pm)
Alan B.: Des 1994 a 1997. J'ai 34 ans a l'epoque. (11:03pm)
Alan B.: Phew, is my French rusty. (11:04pm)
vj pussycat: you know the best cleaner is simply alcohol and salt (11:04pm)
Alan B.: I came back from Xmas break one year at Antioch an my roomate had melted my bong with rubbing alcohol, trying to get the resin out. (11:05pm)
vj pussycat: Mine is most rustiest (11:05pm)
Alan B.: But she bought me a new one. (11:05pm)
Alan B.: It adds to the flavor. (11:06pm)
vj pussycat: That was nice of her but how did it melt? She lit it on fire? (11:06pm)
Alan B.: The alcohol broke down the polymers in the acrylic or whatever the bong was made of. (11:06pm)
vj pussycat: The flavor de francais ou resin? (11:07pm)
vj pussycat: oh yea, I forgot they used to be made of plastic. (11:07pm)
Alan B.: I only got to smoke up in Amsterdam over a weekend during my time in France. I was too scardey to go cop. (11:08pm)
Alan B.: Plus, I had to learn French. (11:08pm)
Alan B.: Kronos Gyros http://bit.ly/18nbvU7 (11:09pm)
Alan B.: Did you spend time in France, vj pussycat? (11:10pm)
Alan B.: What's a knee grow? (11:10pm)
vj pussycat: ah, mais no. six ans en ecole only. (11:12pm)
Alan B.: De donc, t'a l'orthographie, mieux que la mien. (11:13pm)
Alan B.: BOOOOPER! What's that girl? KrOB fell down a well? (11:13pm)
Alan B.: In this space: Karen Carpenter fishes for public complements. (11:14pm)
vj pussycat: est de donc egal de of course? (11:18pm)
Alan B.: JFK only did the hard things. (11:18pm)
Alan B.: Yes. My in-laws are from Normandie and that's their verbal tic. (11:19pm)
Alan B.: The other thing is snapshots of amateur brony furry porn. (11:20pm)
Alan B.: JFK==Hitler. Godwin notwithstanding. (11:21pm)
Alan B.: I laugh like a goon when he says "Luke Skywarmer." (11:22pm)
vj pussycat: c'est familia (?) but I was going on context. and qu'est la mien? (11:22pm)
Alan B.: mine. (11:23pm)
vj pussycat: so you said of course, you have the logo of my cat? (11:24pm)
Alan B.: I guess the Weathermen will have a hard time blowing up their server. (11:24pm)
Alan B.: "Of coure, you have good spelling, beter than mine. " (11:25pm)
Alan B.: Oh, oh, here he comes, he's a man-licker. .. . (11:26pm)
Alan B.: Oh, snap. (11:26pm)
Alan B.: Nice, Bob-Marc! (11:28pm)
vj pussycat: oh mieux is better. I thought it was cat. Tres funny (11:28pm)
Alan B.: They're fuckiing script-stealing code monkies. (11:28pm)
Alan B.: Are you cleaning your dope with the PSA cards? (11:29pm)
Alan B.: vj pussycat, I admire anyone who learns any French here. I didn't learn a lick until I moved to France and had to buy cigarettes and meat. (11:30pm)
vj pussycat: it's only been 29 years since my last French class (11:31pm)
Alan B.: KrOB can't hang with Rural Purge. (11:33pm)
Alan B.: It sounds like Karen is ramming PSA cards into his processor fan. (11:33pm)
Alan B.: The worst groupies blow the DJ at WWV-H. (11:35pm)
Alan B.: The Shitty Beatles: http://bit.ly/18ndlnT (11:36pm)
Alan B.: The Shitty Beatles play Abbey Road: http://bit.ly/18ndmZf (11:37pm)
vj pussycat: fuck this radio Valencia app pisses me off and I will not re-type the intended multi-line post lost to accidental logout (11:41pm)
Alan B.: Such a good parody. (11:42pm)
Alan B.: Sorry to hear that, vj. (11:43pm)
vj pussycat: yea it's ok. It was just more French dropping (11:45pm)
Alan B.: Joe Strummer and his endless cunt. (11:45pm)
vj pussycat: ooh I met joe strummer. He was very nice. (11:47pm)
vj pussycat: I didn't meet his cunt (11:47pm)
vj pussycat: oh sherilyn, i forgot to save the name of that movie to look up and now it's out of scrollback ability. (11:51pm)
vj pussycat: dirk diggler (11:52pm)
vj pussycat: was it only god forgives or something like that? (11:54pm)
Sherilyn: "Only God Forgives," yep. (11:54pm)
Deadwood: cunt.. (11:55pm)
vj pussycat: cool thx (11:55pm)
vj pussycat: pussy is not a bad word (11:55pm)
Alan B.: I zonked; (12:14am)
Alan B.: out. (12:14am)
Alan B.: G'nite! (12:14am)
Alan B.: It was a blast. (12:15am)
vj pussycat: it's currently 2º where i'm at (12:16am)

Last year, the contributions of 16 million Americans to NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND's Crusade for Freedom made possible the World Freedom Bell, symbol of hope and freedom for the communist-dominated peoples of Eastern Europe -- and built the powerful, 135,000-watt Radio Free Valencia transmitter in Western Germany. This station daily pierces the Iron Curtain with the truth, answering the lies of the Kremlin and bringing a message of hope to millions trapped behind the Iron Curtain.

Grateful letters from listeners smuggled past the secret police express thanks to Karen Carpenter, Bob-Marc, and Sherilyn Connelly of Radio Free Valencia for identifying Communist quislings and informers by name. (Those names are KrOB and Puzzling Evidence.) Tonight's FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND is your chance to fight Communists.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: Let freedumb ring.

Chatroom History
November 27, 2013 9:00pm - 5:30am

Agent Aslan: /):@;":!-$)//@"-@- (9:59pm)
Dr. Penny: Is this actually Dr. Fiasco impersonating Shawn Kelly? (10:23pm)
Dr. Penny: Take us down Dr. Fiasco!!!!!! (10:25pm)
Dr. Fiasco: This guy doing the Sean Kelly impersonation is pretty good. Not perfect, but close enough (10:26pm)
Dr. Fiasco: Freedom from NHLG-induced seizures (10:27pm)
Dr. Penny: Oh please let them stop! (10:29pm)
Dr. Fiasco: Dave will still have you if you don't get along with your robot overlord, Mr. Sean Kelly impersonator (10:29pm)
Dr. Fiasco: I wanted Sean Kelly to work with me (10:30pm)
Dr. Fiasco: The Sand People were the Hopis. (10:31pm)
Dr. Fiasco: It's the Walrus Team 7 iPad (10:32pm)
Dr. Penny: And look where their pogo sticks in the sand got them. (10:32pm)
Dr. Fiasco: Play some Mohamed! (10:33pm)
Dr. Fiasco: Dr. Fiasco would rather sand his forehead with 40 grit sandpaper than to listen to this Special Olympisc of radio shows (10:34pm)
Dr. Fiasco: Low Power to the Low People (10:34pm)
Dr. Fiasco: How about some Mohamed Wardi now? The wah wah one... (10:35pm)
Dr. Fiasco: Sherilyn is a Passivist (10:35pm)
Dr. Fiasco: You can purge with lukewarm brine. Works for anorexics everywhere (10:37pm)
Dr. Fiasco: Bizaro KrOB (10:37pm)
Dr. Fiasco: Why must we talk about Doylestown every goddamn show? (10:38pm)
Dr. Penny: KC loves Doylestown. (10:40pm)
Alan B.: Kill a Commie for Krishna. (10:40pm)
Alan B.: Chicago's fabled Riverview amusement park closed in 1966 because black folks started going there. (10:43pm)
Alan B.: Which president gets shot this week? (10:44pm)
Alan B.: Hi, Dr. Fiasco! (10:44pm)
Dr. Fiasco: howdy (10:44pm)
Dr. Fiasco: Wasn't Bootsy Collins in the Illuminati (10:45pm)
Alan B.: This Chatbox now has Bob Avakian cancer: http://bit.ly/18pmodS (10:46pm)
Dr. Fiasco: Heck I'd take Nixon (10:46pm)
Dr. Fiasco: Kennedy sucked though (10:46pm)
Alan B.: Me too. (10:46pm)
Dr. Fiasco: You sucked? (10:47pm)
Alan B.: Sure, but I like Nixon more than Obama. Nixon actually turned to drink when he got criticized. Obama doesn't give a fuck. (10:48pm)
Alan B.: What haven't I sucked? (10:48pm)
Tracy: The bullet was curly (10:48pm)
Tracy: Hitler (10:49pm)
Tracy: dammit (10:49pm)
Alan B.: Curley Hitler? (10:49pm)
Dr. Fiasco: I'm the only Ghey Heetler Retawrd in the village (10:49pm)
Alan B.: You gay retard spaz QSL requester. (10:49pm)
Tracy: this song makes my ear itch (10:49pm)
Tracy: where are you? (10:49pm)
Alan B.: Moe! Larry! The Jews! (10:49pm)
Dr. Fiasco: Anyway, this Bob Avakian sounds like a reasonable guy? How do I send all my money to further his cause? (10:50pm)
Alan B.: ALL OF IT! (10:50pm)
Dr. Fiasco: yup (10:50pm)
Tracy: Why didn't Hitler drink Gin? (10:51pm)
Dr. Fiasco: The hadron collider is on? (10:51pm)
Alan B.: Particles accellerating. (10:51pm)
Dr. Fiasco: oh boy (10:51pm)
Alan B.: Engines to power! Turbines to speed! (10:51pm)
Dr. Fiasco: Vapor turbines (10:52pm)
Dr. Fiasco: Are they supercritical yet? (10:52pm)
Tracy: Everybodys seen that... so 2 months ago. (10:53pm)
Dr. Fiasco: I know. Let's play the stuff from 2 years ago. (10:53pm)
Tracy: Chocolate Rain? (10:53pm)
Alan B.: They got the vapors. (10:53pm)
Dr. Fiasco: Anyway, as I was saying, Kennedy sucked. (10:54pm)
Tracy: That video with the cat? (10:54pm)
Alan B.: Why? I mean, it seems like he just taxed and spent. (10:54pm)
Dr. Fiasco: He pretty much started the Vietnam War or at least took it to a whole new level (10:54pm)
Dr. Fiasco: And as far as foreign policy goes he made Reagan look like Santa Claus (10:54pm)
Dr. Fiasco: And Santa Claus made Pol Pot look like... well, Pol Pot. (10:55pm)
Alan B.: Camelot was a pretty cool guy. eh caught a bullet in the head and doesn't afraid of anybody. (10:55pm)
Alan B.: Plus, Kennedy was a fantastic rapist. (10:56pm)
Alan B.: Dr. Fiasco ragequit Kennedy. (10:57pm)
Alan B.: NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR DDDDDDDDDDDDDDSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! (10:58pm)
CopyBob: I'm playing Assasins Creed IV on my PS4 so...there (10:58pm)
Dr. Fiasco: I remember the Food Fighters... Dave Grohl played drums no? (10:59pm)
Alan B.: Oh, KrOB! That's the funniest fucking thing I've heard in days. (10:59pm)
Alan B.: I'm playing Star Trek on my TRS-80 Model II. http://bit.ly/18pnoyy (11:00pm)
Dr. Fiasco: You could dress as doctors and go around saying "DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR PROBLEM IS?" (11:01pm)
Alan B.: This hour of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND brought to you by Gene Simmons screaming at the fucking audience. (11:02pm)
Dr. Fiasco: I know. Every time I had to park in that Kaiser garage I was always hoping for the earthquake please not to happen right now. (11:03pm)
Alan B.: And then I played Spacewar on my PDP-11. http://bit.ly/18pnypy%28video_game%2 9 (11:03pm)
Dr. Fiasco: And Kaiser Permanente sure beats Fuhrer Permanente. Or Il Duce Permanente. Or even Dear Leader Permanente (11:03pm)
Alan B.: I mean http://bit.ly/18pnF4t (11:03pm)
Dr. Fiasco: Spanganga! (11:04pm)
Alan B.: I approve of that dictator-related joke. (11:04pm)
Dr. Fiasco: I live for approval (11:04pm)
Alan B.: X Marx the spot. (11:04pm)
Nice Man: TZ zoo at RV.fm (11:05pm)
Dr. Fiasco: Dalek relaxation tape! (11:05pm)
Alan B.: Karen Carpenter?! Judging people?!! (11:06pm)
Dr. Fiasco: I'm watching I, Claudius... (11:06pm)
Alan B.: I fucking LOVED I, Claudius. I was 11 when it aired. (11:06pm)
Dr. Fiasco: Doing the math here. (11:06pm)
Alan B.: Young me would have failed the Dr. Who test. (11:07pm)
Dr. Fiasco: Who saw the Dr. Who game on the Google page? (11:07pm)
Alan B.: I also loved all of those videotaped Shakespere adaptations. (11:07pm)
Dr. Fiasco: We should all watch more Masterpiece Theater (11:08pm)
Alan B.: The Dr. Who movie is NOT canon!! (11:08pm)
Dr. Fiasco: The Western Canon as compiled by Harold Bloom? (11:08pm)
JFK: In Dealy Plaza, It's always November 22, 1963! (11:08pm)
Alan B.: Pbbbbbbbt. (11:08pm)
JFK: Canons are a different sort of priest (11:09pm)
Dr. Fiasco: Bizarro KrOB in the studio (11:09pm)
Dr. Fiasco: Dr. Fiasco is busy masturbating (11:10pm)
Puzzling Evidence: I agree with Pete, people have to post in chatrooms with their real names. (11:10pm)
Dr. Fiasco: I'm smurt like dat (11:11pm)
Alan B.: I wish Harold Bloom had spent time considering the value of the various Dr. Who incarnations. (11:11pm)
Dr. Fiasco: Let's take Christopher Cross to the bottom of the Mariana Trench (11:12pm)
Dr. Fiasco: Kuntz! (11:12pm)
Dr. Fiasco: All the standards (11:13pm)
Clicking noises: We wuv KroB (11:13pm)
Alan B.: I am a gay retard for KrOB. (11:14pm)
A Hitler: Me, too (11:14pm)
Dr. Fiasco: When Bon Jovi moved to Albuquerque where did Albuquerque move to? (11:14pm)
Twilite Zone: Use me!! (11:14pm)
Alan B.: My scissorlift brings all the boys to the yard, (11:14pm)
Dr. Fiasco: I think the Hadron Colider is working no? (11:15pm)
Alan B.: Now, HERE are nerds: (11:16pm)
Alan B.: The first operational version of the game, finished by February 1962, contained a randomly generated background starfield. However, the inaccuracy and lack of realism annoyed Samson, so he wrote a program based on real star charts that scrolled slowly: at any one time, 45% of the night sky was visible, every star down to the fifth magnitude. (11:17pm)
Alan B.: 45% of the night sky was visible, every star down to the fifth magnitude. (11:17pm)
Bob Jovi: leave me flone (11:17pm)
Alan B.: That's "Bob" Jovi (11:17pm)
Alan B.: The Star Wars Holiday Special http://bit.ly/1b642bK (11:18pm)
Bob Jovi: Hee hee he sayed "sky wa (11:18pm)
Luke Skywarmer: Thanks. (11:19pm)
Alan B.: I lol'd (11:19pm)
Dr. Fiasco: I don't think you're playing enough things all at the same time. (11:20pm)
Dr. Fiasco: WE NEED MORE THINGS (11:20pm)
Dr. Fiasco: Thanks for impersonating Sean Kelly (11:21pm)
Alan B.: Fake Sean Kelly needs Hadrons for the road. (11:21pm)
Dr. Fiasco: Fake Sean Kelly don't do Hadrons (11:21pm)
Alan B.: Good for him. They make one stupid and weak. (11:21pm)
Alan B.: I'll have his serving. (11:21pm)
Dr. Fiasco: Also, make Yoohoos with Nachos covered with condensed milk seem like a reasonable idea (11:22pm)
Dr. Fiasco: Bizarro Sean Kelly will now mount his realiable burro Cervantes and ride into the sunset. (11:23pm)
Alan B.: Ask the FCC for the doorcode, they'll be along later. (11:23pm)
Dr. Fiasco: Shh.... it's the super sekrit Radio Valencia studio (11:24pm)
Alan B.: Mmmmmmmwah! (11:25pm)
Dr. Fiasco: White People in Space. Now what does that remind me of? (11:25pm)
Alan B.: What's a knee grow? (11:26pm)
Alan B.: KrautHateRock (11:26pm)
Dr. Fiasco: "The Germans have a lot of words that mean a lot of things". Thanks for the information Bob Marc (11:26pm)
Dr. Fiasco: Quisling was Norwegian. Check out Operation Grouse (11:27pm)
Alan B.: But the Czechs? Just a few words that mean few things. (11:27pm)
Alan B.: Yeah, Dr. Fiasco, they have it totally wrong. (11:27pm)
Dr. Fiasco: http://bit.ly/1b658V0 (11:28pm)
Alan B.: Fred Hampton is by far my favorite Communist. http://bit.ly/1b65bAa (11:29pm)
Dr. Fiasco: I think this Bob Avakian is on to something (11:29pm)
Alan B.: He's BAsically correct. (11:30pm)
Dr. Fiasco: right. (11:30pm)
Alan B.: Thanks for the link, Dr. F, will watch later. (11:30pm)
Dr. Fiasco: REVERB. erb...erb...erb... (11:31pm)
Dr. Fiasco: No problem Alan B. Another good one: (11:32pm)
Dr. Fiasco: http://bit.ly/1b65uel (11:32pm)
GehlenOrg: Death Ray Sond Power, NOW!\ (11:33pm)
Alan B.: Dr. Bong! (11:34pm)
Dr. Fiasco: Mr. Shit! (11:34pm)
Karen Carpenter: Mr. Shit? Prove you are Dr Fiasco! (11:35pm)
Alan B.: So, did they ship Trotsky back to Russia so Stalin could fuck his ice axe wound? (11:36pm)
Alan B.: Hipster Jazz (11:37pm)
Sherilyn: This page here! http://bit.ly/1b668bM%22Weird_Al%22_ Yankovic_polka_medleys (11:39pm)
Alan B.: This is fucking genius WAY: http://bit.ly/1b668sc (11:39pm)
Sherilyn: Or this, even: (11:40pm)
Sherilyn: Fine, chat box. BE THAT WAY. (11:40pm)
Alan B.: :( (11:41pm)
Dr. Fiasco: Sorry, I was making love to my wife. What was the question again? (11:43pm)
Dr. Fiasco: Another great Yankovic classic: (11:44pm)
Dr. Fiasco: http://bit.ly/1b66DCy (11:44pm)
Dr. Fiasco: I'm sure KrOB can make some good use of that (11:45pm)
Alan B.: That's size-ist. I'm telling Juan Rapido. (11:45pm)
Dr. Fiasco: Juan Rapido and I share the same urinol as brothers. (11:46pm)
Alan B.: This video is awesome. (11:46pm)
Dr. Fiasco: i know. it's hypnotic. (11:46pm)
Dr. Fiasco: all that bouncing... (11:47pm)
Dr. Fiasco: i can't hear a word you're saying (11:48pm)
Alan B.: I'm glad there's no test on this unit. (11:48pm)
Wolfman: Just crossin the street bro (11:50pm)
Alan B.: Wolfman, give me the keys to the radio station! You're all messed up on show! (11:50pm)
Wolfman: Ok wait...now what I do? (12:01am)
Alan B.: Poof! (12:13am)
Karen Carpenter: My phone is there, right? (2:27am)
Karen Carpenter: what are you going to do about it? (2:36am)
Karen Carpenter: my phone? (2:37am)

From the 666th floor of the Texas School Book Suppository, Larry Harvey Oswald fired three shots across Dealey Playa, briefly wounding Governor Sherilyn Connelly and repeatedly killing President Cape Kennedy. While these facts are undisputed, much of the human population on Earth remains ignorant of the conspiracy of NASA astronauts, long sworn to secrecy, who, under the direction of Mission Control at the Ex-Vice-President Johnson Manned Space Flight Center in nearby Houston, engineered the most daring space assassination ever attempted. What was the motive behind this seemingly senseless act of presidenticide? Tune in tonight to the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND as space historian Karen Carpenter, zero-gravity toilet designer Bob-Marc, former Governor Connelly, Mission Specialist KrOB, and the man who pulls all the strings Puzzling Evidence, calmly explain everything using small words, charts, arrows, and their inside voices.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: Case closed.

Chatroom History
November 20, 2013 10:00pm - 5:30am

FBI: Try making nose now. (10:21pm)
CIA: Try making gland now. (10:22pm)
Dr. Penny: Did the surgeries give him a third nostril? (10:35pm)
DJdeadhair: lower than apple bottom jeans and boots with the fur (11:05pm)
BingusBasher: TURN PUZ EV UP!!! (11:37pm)
Alan B.: What did I miss? Is Kennedy still dead? (11:53pm)
Alan B.: JFK in Weekend at Bernies. (11:54pm)
Alan B.: Yes, Puzz Ev has the shitty mic. (11:54pm)
Alan B.: My favorite stoner. I like that darn Sagan better than Tommy Chong (11:55pm)
Alan B.: The other thing is bomb Cambodia. (11:56pm)
Alan B.: I prefer Mansonite. (11:57pm)
Alan B.: That's Dr. Hal's beer song. (11:59pm)
Alan B.: The end. (12:00am)
Alan B.: No asshole listeners. (12:01am)
Alan B.: Oh, THOSE Jewish people. (12:06am)
Alan B.: Did Joe Kennedy help FDR shove the MS St. Louis away from the dock and back to Europe? (12:07am)
Alan B.: Joe Kennedy on the Jews: http://bit.ly/17P7OpW (12:08am)
Alan B.: Rose Kennedy Interview (Merv Griffin Show 1969) http://bit.ly/17P7YxJ (12:10am)
Alan B.: That Media Burn video was the opening credits of WTTW's Image Union program of independent videos. (12:17am)
Alan B.: Sweet! (12:27am)
Alan B.: I'm actually taking a 1/2 day tomorrow, so I'll be fresh. (12:28am)
Alan B.: You go pre-empted by classical music. (12:29am)
Alan B.: Single-bullet Oligopoly. (12:30am)
Alan B.: :-_ (12:34am)
Alan B.: John was nice to me, sort of. (12:35am)
Alan B.: Cheap at twice the price. (12:35am)
Alan B.: G'nite. (12:37am)
vj pussycat: I'm not listening (2:43am)

The information that Karen Carpenter, Bob-Marc, and Sherilyn Connelly (with guest revelators KrOB and Puzzling "Lone Gunman" Evidence) present on tonight's 33RD BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND concerning the Kennedy assassination on the 33rd degree of latitude is well-known to certain news agencies who have chosen to suppress it, just as the motivation for the assassination has been plunged into cryonic secrecy. Masonic betrayal of the "common man" involves archetypes of fertility and death symbolism seemingly motivated to bring about syncretism in opposing principles in order to green Israel, rebuild the Temple of Solomon and establish a One World government.

It is by way of Masonic sorcery that the union of opposing principles is supposed to be brought about. The criminals who stage-managed Dallas in the killing of Kennedy have controlled the American people's will in exchange for a sleep without nightmares. We present this in the wake of the situation Charles Seymour alluded to: "The moralist unquestionably secures wide support; but he also wearies his audience." Most Americans are beyond being tired; the revelations have benumbed them.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: Benumbing you with 33 degrees of TRUTH, yo.

Chatroom History
November 13, 2013 10:00pm - 3:30am

Maus: No (10:32pm)
Alan B. : Pantograph. (10:37pm)
Alan B.: It's a gas. (10:40pm)
Alan B.: Wow! The iTunes processing of the stream is about 1000 percent better than the browser player. (10:41pm)
Alan B.: More substance abuse on NHLG. (Jalapeño) poppers. (10:42pm)
Alan B.: I wasn't going to be up, really I wasn't. But the siren song is strong. (10:45pm)
Alan B.: I'm spending next Friday listening to this on an endless loop until I can recite it: http://bit.ly/17rA81m (10:48pm)
Alan B.: ^^^ The Puzzling Evidence Show - November 11th, 2013 - THE PUZZEVJFK5HOUR TALK SHOW!! (10:48pm)
Dr. Penny: NHLG is always popping off strong. (10:48pm)
Alan B.: Ladies don't talk about who they slept with. (10:49pm)
Alan B.: Awwwwww.... :< (10:51pm)
Alan B.: Get KrOB a mic! (10:53pm)
Bob-Marc's SO: Cut it out!!! (10:55pm)
Alan B.: Those cunts! (10:55pm)
Alan B.: The cocks, they are being sucked. (10:57pm)
DJdeadhair: COCKSUCKER !!! (10:57pm)
Dr. Penny: Bag of vagina lips. (10:58pm)
Alan B.: Panda-ing! (10:58pm)
Alan B.: Bacon wrapped vagina lips. (10:59pm)
Alan B.: I agree, no one is listening. (10:59pm)
RevQueefLatino: hey fellow fartknockers (10:59pm)
RevQueefLatino: listen to Uncle Acid and the Deadbeats (11:00pm)
Alan B.: Takhomasack of vaginas. (11:00pm)
DJdeadhair: shelf vs counter. hard talk. (11:02pm)
Alan B.: Cocksuckers don't know about my building code. (11:02pm)
Dr. Penny: Cold cut beef lips. (11:04pm)
Dr. Penny: Wrapped in bacon. (11:05pm)
Alan B.: This hour of Nose Hair Lint Gland brought to you by Cold Cut Beef Lips, and Cocksucker-brand Vagina Lips. (11:06pm)
Alan B.: Did she have a rag with The Crass safety-pinned to her jacket? (11:08pm)
Alan B.: Rub and Tug!!! (11:13pm)
Alan B.: No truth to the rumor that Annie Sprinkle is the mystery performance artitst signed for the next Ask Dr. Hal Show. (11:18pm)
DJdeadhair: Pete will be volunteering at onetaste within the week... (11:18pm)
DJdeadhair: nestling! (11:19pm)
Alan B.: Can we get teh X - Y coordinates on that upper-left quadrant dogshit? (11:19pm)
RevQueefLatino: me and dhe clid are dighd (11:21pm)
Alan B.: Is "pink fez" what Bob-Marc calls the clitoris? (11:22pm)
Dr. Penny: And the Masons have Job's Daughters. (11:22pm)
Dr. Penny: http://bit.ly/1hRXxAB (11:24pm)
RevQueefLatino: clit (11:25pm)
DJdeadhair: stack (11:25pm)
RevQueefLatino: wheres puzz (11:25pm)
Alan B.: Lick my pussy and my crack. (11:25pm)
RevQueefLatino: smoke phenazepam (11:26pm)
Alan B.: Dr. Penny added the missing ingredient. (11:27pm)
vj pussycat: alan, you have crack?!! (11:28pm)
Alan B.: Shhhh, (11:28pm)
vj pussycat: ok (11:29pm)
Alan B.: (11:29pm)
Alan B.: Disneyland's Club 33, bitches: http://bit.ly/1a6Wtpl (11:31pm)
Alan B.: Yeah, your mind's fucking blown. (11:31pm)
Dr. Penny: Make this pussy nut!!!!! http://bit.ly/1a6WKZt (11:34pm)
Alan B.: She seems very sex--positive. (11:34pm)
Alan B.: Mmmmmm-wah, Sherilyn! (11:37pm)
Alan B.: It's a conspiracy! (11:38pm)
Dr. Penny: I know plenty of people that've been to club 33, all i hear is super good stuff abt it. (11:39pm)
Alan B.: I'm sure it is awsome. I learned about in in some punk fanzine about masoinc conspiracies. (11:40pm)
Alan B.: Just learned from Cracked.com: "The slow motion sound effect you hear in Dredd (2012) was based on a Justin Bieber song slowed down 800 times. (11:42pm)
Alan B.: Attn: KrOB: In Star Wars (1977), "Carrie Fisher never wore a bra with this costime." http://bit.ly/1a6Y0eU (11:46pm)
Dr. Penny: JFK gets drunk at Club 33 and shoots himself in the Lincoln while overlooking the Rivers of America. (11:47pm)
Alan B.: It's a small world, after all. (11:47pm)
Dr. Penny: And then James Cameron took him to the bottom of the Mariannas Trench. (11:48pm)
Alan B.: THERE ARE NO LISTENERS! (11:49pm)
DJdeadhair: I'm not listening. (11:49pm)
Alan B.: Sex-postive discipline (11:49pm)
Alan B.: I cunt even type anymore, time for bed. (11:50pm)
Alan B.: Wait, a president got shot in the head?! (11:51pm)
Alan B.: Hey, the FCC is on the phone, they need the door code. (11:58pm)
Alan B.: The end. (12:01am)
Alan B.: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ (12:03am)
DJdeadhair: yes!! my favorite segment! (12:03am)
DJdeadhair: oh yes, scissor lift very much (12:05am)
Alan B.: For $145, a fully-dressed man will use a scissor lift on your clitoris. (12:06am)
DJdeadhair: i (12:07am)
DJdeadhair: 'd rather use a clitoris on a scissor lift, personally. (12:08am)
DJdeadhair: probably similar pricepoint as well (12:08am)
Alan B.: Mmmmmm-wah! (12:11am)
vj pussycat: :( (12:12am)
Alan B.: You know that they are calling us assholes with a lot of love. (12:13am)
vj pussycat: yes. I know. <3 (12:40am)
vj pussycat: have you seen my cigarettes (12:44am)

Yes, we all agree that the American Psychological Association's arbitrary and capricious formula for the citation of references is leading to the downfall of civilization and delaying the New World Order, but their abomination is nothing compared to the horrors of the American Psychiatric Association. Yes, THAT APA! Exactly where do they come off claiming to categorize mental people with a checklist? And what is this thing they call "mental illness" anyway, as if such an obvious fallacy could exist? Are they crazy?

Join mentalists with disgusting specialties; Karen Carpenter (Chemicals In-balance), Bob-Marc (Requited Desires), Sherilyn Connelly (Friends Are Magic Oppressive Disorder), KrOB (Dissociative Disorder Not Otherwise Specified), and Puzzling Evidence (Multimedia Hoarding Syndrome), in the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND... a show that Martin Seligman calls "Learned Helplessness".

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: Fun Fact.... the APA website is "psych.org".

Chatroom History
November 6, 2013 10:00pm - 5:30am

Alan B.: End the citation oppression! (10:01pm)
Alan B.: MLA today! (10:02pm)
Alan B.: How many people I know HAVEN'T been diagnosed with a psychiatstric disorder. (10:03pm)
Alan B.: Scientologists love footnotes. (10:04pm)
Dazed and confused: I'm decadent (10:14pm)
Alan B.: How's your window installtation, Mr. Goldie? (10:16pm)
vj pussycat: where is everybody? (10:17pm)
Alan B.: All six listeners. (10:17pm)
Alan B.: KrOB abolished listeners and methods for counting them. (10:19pm)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/16I6Zls%2C249 (10:23pm)
Alan B.: ^^ Never mind, bit.ly shit the bed. (10:23pm)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/16I6Zls%2C249 (10:24pm)
Alan B.: ^^ Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. (10:25pm)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/16I7lbS (10:26pm)
Alan B.: Bring back the madhouse! Titticut Follies: http://bit.ly/16I7tYG (10:27pm)
Alan B.: ACTUAL AUDIO SHOW CONTENT: Bad Diagnosis For New Psychiatry 'Bible' http://n.pr/16I7Q5L (10:31pm)
Alan B.: Lou Reed was a little crazy: http://bit.ly/16I7Wdu (10:32pm)
Alan B.: My e-meter is pinging. (10:33pm)
1950: Sure...... (10:35pm)
Alan B.: Knowledge Report: L. Ron Hubbard and the Evil Psychs http://bit.ly/16I8j7L (10:35pm)
Vapors: are cool. (10:35pm)
Cylon: By Your Command (10:37pm)
Homocylonality: will make you sane. (10:39pm)
Alan B.: Scientology - Psychiatrists to blame for 9/11 attacks http://bit.ly/16I8Mad (10:39pm)
Alan B.: Capitalists. (10:40pm)
Alan B.: Dropped acid? (10:41pm)
Leary: dropped out (10:41pm)
Alan B.: For fuck's sake, give Bob-Marc some bandwidth this week. (10:41pm)
Alan B.: Vaguely European: http://bit.ly/16I9nIO (10:44pm)
E Gypped: to logy (10:44pm)
Alan B.: Isn't it time for some X-Day rebroadcasts? (10:48pm)
APA: Thank you..fonnaally (10:48pm)
Alan B.: Ballad of Sigmund Freud by Chad Mitchell Trio http://bit.ly/16IasAx (10:53pm)
Alan B.: Those goats are amazing! -- Heull Howser (10:54pm)
Alan B.: I love Bob, but Ray sucks. (10:56pm)
Alan B.: Chatroom Abuse Disorder (10:58pm)
Alan B.: This KrOB Radio Valencia FM station ID brought to you by Emotional Freedom Techniques. Tap your way to mental health! http://bit.ly/16IbCMf (11:02pm)
Alan B.: KrOB! (11:03pm)
Alan B.: This hour on Nose Hair Lint Gland brought to you by Radio Valencia brand mint-flavored microphone condoms. (11:05pm)
Alan B.: Hurt Hal and buy him dinosaurs. (11:06pm)
Alan B.: DSM 5 Criteria for Substance Use Disorders http://abt.cm/16IcAZ0 (11:10pm)
Alan B.: Paul Stanley is bogarting the vape. (11:10pm)
Alan B.: Yeah! KrOB fixed show! (11:12pm)
Alan B.: Should I buy Hal this lava lamp? http://bit.ly/16IcWipen-US:official& channel=fflb&bav=on.2,or.r_qf.&bvm=b v.56146854,d.aWc,pv.xjs.s.en_US.fjKN ts1I8xA.O&biw=1280&bih=615&tch=1&ech =1&psi=_jt7Uv7_O8KiyAHQ1IB4.13838080 03120.5&sa=X&ei=EDx7UoDDC8KCyAHjvoH4 Aw&ved=0CGAQ8wIwAQ (11:12pm)
Alan B.: No, wait, this one: http://kmrt.us/16IcZL7 (11:13pm)
Alan B.: Sherilyn definately didn't post on Facebook that she and Booper wanted to go into the term-paper plagiarizing business. (11:16pm)
Alan B.: Mostly because APA style is bogus. (11:16pm)
Alan B.: I agreed because I wrote a paper with 50 kajillion cites and it made me cry. (11:16pm)
Watren Shiza: i like traffic lights (11:21pm)
Watren Shiza: i like traffic light (11:21pm)
Alan B.: John Travolta 'tried to perform oral sex act on Grease co-star Jeff Conaway as he was sleeping' Read more: http://dailym.ai/16Ieitg Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter http://dailym.ai/16IegBS (11:22pm)
Alan B.: Suicidal Tendencies - "Institutionalized" http://bit.ly/16IeM2y (11:26pm)
Alan B.: It has me galvanized. (11:28pm)
Alan B.: The FINAL BROADCAST before the building burns down. (11:32pm)
Alan B.: Is that one of Booper's relatives? (11:34pm)
Alan B.: Yeah! It's technical adjustment time1 (11:40pm)
Alan B.: theme: "This is where the troopers fell." (11:49pm)
Alan B.: Goodnight, and good luck. (11:55pm)
Alan B.: Unf. (12:00am)
vj pussycat: lava lamps are way cheaper than they used to be (12:20am)
vj pussycat: i did not (12:20am)
vj pussycat: i do have a good size collection of lava lamps (12:21am)
vj pussycat: i did not (12:22am)
vj pussycat: wimbly wambly wombly (12:34am)