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THE FINAL BROADCAST
TRIAL BY JERRY
September 18, 2013 10:00pm

 

Nose Hair Lint Gland
TRIAL BY JERRY
Karen Carpenter has just been excused from being Juror #6, and on tonight's FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, Sherilyn Connelly and Karen make up for it by putting the absent Bob-Marc on trial for his flagrant absence. Also, KrOB with a slight chance of Puzzling Evidence will retire to their chambers to consider the role of Jerry Lewis in jurisprudence. And, please, do not discuss this case with friends or family.

Chatroom History
September 18, 2013 10:00pm - 5:30am

Alan B.: Is Karen Carpenter very small or far away? (10:12pm)
Alan B.: KrOB! (10:15pm)
Alan B.: It's simple: Fuck tha police. (10:16pm)
Alan B.: Karen Carpenter's mic sounds like hammered shit on the stream. (10:18pm)
Alan B.: And now she sounds super sexy. (10:19pm)
Alan B.: The Trial of Billy Jack: http://bit.ly/14bSelPTrial_of_billy_ jack.jpg (10:20pm)
Alan B.: PE! (10:27pm)
Alan B.: I think we'll add Skrillex to the "Everybody Drink!" list. (10:29pm)
Dr. Penny: If you vote for "Bob", is that a good enough excuse for excuse? (10:29pm)
vj pussycat: better call saul (10:30pm)
Alan B.: I think a bardic recitation of "Pamphlet No. 1" would get you shown the door. (10:30pm)
vj pussycat: let's not speculate ok (10:33pm)
Alan B.: SPOILER ALERT (10:34pm)
Alan B.: I'm totally still up because I forgot to do laundry. (10:34pm)
vj pussycat: thank you sherilyn. i'm caught up but I want it all to be a surprise (10:34pm)
Dr. Penny: Hearsay your honor!! (10:36pm)
vj pussycat: loved Lawrence welK (10:36pm)
Sherilyn: Me too, and quite frankly, the odds of any of us correctly guessing it are about nil. (10:36pm)
Alan B.: BUNG! http://huff.to/19fW8h4 (10:36pm)
vj pussycat: what about Mutual of Omaha and marlon Perkins (10:37pm)
Alan B.: Lawrence Welk is a wonderful program. We watch it religiously. (10:37pm)
vj pussycat: I suppose, but its kinda like listening to a band's record the same day of their concert. Keep'n it fresh (10:38pm)
Alan B.: I take your meaning, but the fact is that they were really solid players, and they managed to sound like a record playing live into crummy 1970s studio mics. (10:39pm)
Alan B.: 27 (10:40pm)
vj pussycat: he was on at midnight after krob (10:42pm)
Alan B.: Super Japanese Seizure Hipsters: http://bit.ly/19fWTGW (10:43pm)
vj pussycat: ack i'm having a seizure (10:44pm)
vj pussycat: seizureseizureseizureseizureseizures eizureseizureseizureseizureseizurese izure (10:44pm)
Alan B.: Miscegenation approved! http://bit.ly/19fXhFp (10:45pm)
Alan B.: 27 Rockers Killed by the CIA at 27: http://bit.ly/19fXk49 (10:46pm)
vj pussycat: conspiracy (10:47pm)
vj pussycat: i need a snack... (10:48pm)
Alan B.: Can Sherilyn please write the Puzzling Evidence biography? Because I will read the shit out of it. (10:49pm)
Alan B.: Back, and to the left: http://bit.ly/19fXXuy (10:51pm)
Alan B.: KrOB's FILM FARM: http://bit.ly/13Pdj9d (10:52pm)
Alan B.: Neil Young: Heart of Gold & Storefront Hitchcock Saturday, September 21, 2013 The Castro Theatre, 429 Castro St. Doors open: 1:30pm Show: 2pm ($12.00) (10:53pm)
Alan B.: Swimming to Cambodia & Stop Making Sense Saturday, September 21, 2013 The Castro Theatre, 429 Castro St. Doors open: 7:00pm Show: 7:30pm ($12.00) (10:53pm)
Alan B.: KrOB has been called "San Francisco's Best Audio and Visual Collagist" by SF Weekly, describing him as "a man following his vision so tenaciously that San Francisco ought to be famous for housing him." His Film Farm series has brought strange and usual movies to unpredictable places throughout the Bay Area since 2003. (10:53pm)
Alan B.: Get him a NHLG-branded vape. (10:57pm)
Aslan: :):@(")"@:)-()/;"(@@;$/$-"- (11:00pm)
Alan B.: Recommended for KrOB's nerves: http://bit.ly/19fZcK2 (11:00pm)
Alan B.: Blue Dream is a Cannabis Hybrid Strain. It contains 20% THC and its flavor is very light and fruity tasting with a lovely spiciness during breath out, smells fruity with a light potent weed. It makes us to feel very dreamy and happy and it is used for the treatment of nausea, anxiety, depression and pain. (11:01pm)
Sherilyn: But what's recommended for Cronos's nightmare??? (11:01pm)
Alan B.: Sour Diesel is a Cannabis Indica Strain. Its flavor is also very light and fruity tasting with a lovely spiciness during breath out, smells fruity with a light potent weed. It contains 20% THC. It also makes us to feel very dreamy and happy and it reduces headache, nausea, depression, pain and other health problems. (11:01pm)
Aslan: I have all those ailments on a daily basis (11:01pm)
Karen Carpenter: what store sells those ailments? (11:02pm)
Alan B.: Green Crack is a Cannabis Indica Strain. It creates intensely uplifting toning effects in the body and it is fruity, danky as well as spicy. 15% THC is present in this Strain. It reduces headache, nausea and depression. (11:02pm)
Dr. Penny: Boooooooooooooooooooooooper. (11:02pm)
Curmudge: Tonight on Art Bell:Alien In A Freezer. (11:03pm)
Alan B.: ARE YOU FUCKING READY TO BOOP?! (11:03pm)
Curmudge: I passed the bar tonight. (11:05pm)
vj pussycat: i listened to that art bell show until nhlg started. did you see the pix of the alien on his page? (11:06pm)
Curmudge: No...I will have to look,I just heard the paRT about it having a gash in it's head and the guy using duct tape to hold his brain in. (11:07pm)
vj pussycat: yea that was crazy (11:07pm)
Curmudge: And then something about an artifact that made somebody shake violently and transport away. (11:08pm)
vj pussycat: the alien made his dog implode (11:09pm)
Curmudge: Freddie (11:11pm)
vj pussycat: yep (11:11pm)
vj pussycat: named for the guy's friend's boss (11:11pm)
Curmudge: Should I do a show again? (11:12pm)
vj pussycat: YES (11:12pm)
Alan B.: Why not? (11:13pm)
vj pussycat: but not when art bell is on (11:13pm)
Curmudge: Art bell is on all night (11:13pm)
vj pussycat: only for 4 hours - it repeats after that (11:14pm)
Sherilyn: My mom is a big Art Bell fan. Often has Coast to Coast etc blaring on her bedroom radio all night long. (11:14pm)
vj pussycat: i bet she's glad to have art back cause c2c sux (11:15pm)
vj pussycat: since art left (11:15pm)
vj pussycat: i am so over george noori (11:15pm)
Alan B.: Pics or it didn't happen. (11:16pm)
vj pussycat: http://bit.ly/19g1yso (11:17pm)
Alan B.: Poor li'l feller, that doggie. (11:17pm)
vj pussycat: : ( (11:18pm)
vj pussycat: dog's name was suzy (11:18pm)
vj pussycat: this is about as fun as jury doody (11:19pm)
Alan B.: I got out of jury duty in DuPage Co., IL. I told the county judge that I had lost a radio from my unlocked car. They asked If I called the cops and I said no . . . (11:21pm)
vj pussycat: is that the theme tonight (11:21pm)
Alan B.: . . . because the count sheriffs' cops wouldn't care about my lost radio. (11:21pm)
Alan B.: Yep. (11:21pm)
Alan B.: No faith in cops gets you sprung. (11:21pm)
vj pussycat: oh joy (11:21pm)
vj pussycat: midgets or dwarf x __? (11:25pm)
Alan B.: Dwarves. (11:25pm)
vj pussycat: no that's wrong (11:26pm)
vj pussycat: dr hal said so (11:26pm)
Alan B.: That's right, Mr. Benny! http://bit.ly/19g30uX (11:28pm)
vj pussycat: hey what happened to bob marc? (11:28pm)
vj pussycat: i'll be the judge of that (11:29pm)
Alan B.: Bob-Marc is AWOL. (11:29pm)
vj pussycat: i just realized (11:30pm)
Alan B.: I cannot wait to hear the Ask Dr. Hal show Karen Carpenter recorded for us all. (11:30pm)
vj pussycat: from saturday? (11:30pm)
Alan B.: He said he planned to, yeah. (11:30pm)
vj pussycat: shhhhhhhh (11:30pm)
vj pussycat: i have to listen to last week's puzzling evidence as i fell asleep (11:31pm)
Alan B.: There goes Karen again, fuckin' tha police. (11:32pm)
Alan B.:: I'm not Puzzling Evidence (11:32pm)
Alan B.: Mind blown. (11:33pm)
vj pussycat: i didn't think you were (11:33pm)
Alan B.: I think I have colon cancer. (11:33pm)
vj pussycat: bummer (11:33pm)
Karen Carpenter: I KNOW I have colon cancer (11:34pm)
Alan B.: Not really, just referring to my extra colon I grew. (11:34pm)
Curmudge: Colonized (11:35pm)
Curmudge: As in Conspiracy........ (11:37pm)
The Warren Commission: Nope, none round here. (11:38pm)
Curmudge: Hey (11:38pm)
Da People: Watch out!!!!! (11:38pm)
Alan B.: If you ever need to shoot a president or whatever get one of these, they're super effective: http://bit.ly/19g4o0o (11:39pm)
Jury of your peers: Who is paying for all of this juroring. (11:39pm)
Da People: We IS!!!!!!! (11:40pm)
Alan B.: Same people who killed the Kennedys. (11:40pm)
Alan B.: Because, after all, it was you and me. (11:40pm)
Jury of your peers: Yes...google us,please. (11:40pm)
Alan B.: Okay, I'm super screwed for work now, gotta go rest my colon. Au revoir. (11:41pm)
vj pussycat: good night to you and your colons (11:42pm)
Jury of your peers: So,a high profile lawyer here in Dallas was arrested for showing his privates at the Gay Pride Celebration,and since it was near a school he is now having to register as a sex offender. (11:43pm)
vj pussycat: woops (11:44pm)
Jury of your peers: The extreme is what we were talking about -- the water-soaked, see-through white underwear with an erection is what we're talking about. (11:45pm)
Jury of your peers: Don't let sex offender registration destroy your life. Contact a Dallas law firm that will fight to avoid conviction (11:46pm)
Da People: Use Sayed IT!!!!!!!!! (11:47pm)
Wopner: Judge Judy is a bitch. (11:48pm)
Harry Stone: Wanna see some judicial magic? (11:50pm)
Da People: Yase SIR!!!!!!! (11:51pm)
Harry Stone: Here are your rights...I put them in this hat,wave my gavel,and allakazam,your rights have dissapeared! (11:53pm)
Whitey: has never been to the moon. (11:54pm)
Whitey: Ayn Rand paintings. (11:55pm)
Ayn Rand: Hey Buddy... (11:57pm)
Whitey: John Norman (11:57pm)
John Norman : I watched this exchange. Truly, I believed the plant would be watered. It was plant, and on Gor it had no rights. Perhaps on Earth, in its permissive society, which distorts the true roles of all beings, which forces both plant and waterer to go unh appy and constrained, which forbids the fulfillment of owner and houseplant, such might not happen. Perhaps there, it would not be watered. But it was on Gor now, and would undoubtedly feel its true place, that of houseplant. It was plant. It would be watered at will. Such is the way with plants. (11:58pm)
Ayn Rand: That's better.. (11:59pm)
John Norman : fillment of owner and houseplant, such might not happen. Perhaps there, it would not be watered. But it was on Gor now, and would undoubtedly feel its true place, that of houseplant. It was plant. It would be watered at will. Such is the way with plants. (11:59pm)
Craig T. Neilson: I was Coach Hayden Fox (12:01am)
Daniel Day-Lewis: I would make a better Jerry Lewis. (12:03am)
.: My Grandfather was a state cop and never talked about his job...I also thinkl he had some Mafia connections. (12:05am)
.: Everyone dies (12:06am)
Every One: Thanks you. (12:06am)
.: The dog dies,the battery dies,this whole damn court dies. (12:06am)
Every One: You cn't handle the dies (12:07am)
.: I found Jesus! (12:07am)
.: He was wandering lost in the woods. (12:07am)
Every One: Loves Jebus (12:08am)
Merch: DO ME NOW! (12:08am)
Every One: Wants Everything (12:08am)
Every one: rules the world. (12:09am)
Dallas: Come visit me! (12:09am)
Larry Dallas: Wanna buy a used car? (12:10am)
Jim: But what about the bass player? (12:13am)
Songs for the Fire: . (12:15am)
Songs for the Fire: 10cc (12:15am)
Songs for the Fire: Nanny (12:16am)
Songs for the Fire: Mr. Monk Has Jury Duty (12:17am)
Songs for the Fire: Blondie (12:18am)
Every One: Sings Songs Of Fire. (12:18am)
Songs for the Fire: Light My Fire (12:19am)
THX1138: . (12:20am)
THX1138: Say My Name (12:21am)
Manrape: She was asking for it. (12:22am)
Perception: Huxley (12:25am)
Manson: Scientology?Too crazy for me! (12:26am)
Beach Boys: We liked Manson. (12:27am)
Every One: Isn Like Me. (12:28am)
Hardships: I am coming to your house for dinner. (12:29am)
.Jerry Lewis,Vampire Killer.: Hey Lady of the Night! (12:30am)
.: iS jERRY lEWIS STILL ALIVE? (12:30am)
.: Porn (12:31am)
.: is Freedom (12:31am)
.: and freedom ain't worth nothin if nothin is free. (12:32am)
.: It is called lawyering. (12:32am)
.: ..:- ..- - _ : .. (12:33am)
.: ............... (12:41am)
Everything: WRONG! (12:50am)
Every One: Everything is (1:01am)
Every One: Wrong!! (1:01am)
Every One: is wrong!! (1:01am)


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