Just because the government isn't operating any more, that doesn't mean it isn't still operating. It's operating while it's not operating. (Your mind: BLOWN.) And the most important government operation still operating is tonight's FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, in which Karen Carpenter, Bob-Marc, and Sherilyn Connelly (with possible anchor babies KrOB and Puzzling Evidence) will take over the government's real goal during this non-shutdown: picking the next state! Using the Guano Islands Act of 1856 as our nominees (obviously), the candidates will be Howland Island and Kingman Reef/Danger Rock. We've had a nicely organized flag full of stars for far too long, and after tonight, our new state and thus new flag with 3 rows of 17 stars will be revealed. Or possibly 17 rows of 3 stars. Tonight, you get to decide! Or, rather, we get to decide and you get to agree with us, because DEMOCRACY.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: Just so long as our new birdshit-covered state doesn't have healthcare, because that's tyranny or whatever.

Chatroom History
October 16, 2013 10:00pm - 4:30am

Puzzling Evidence: Just want to point out that I am not Alan Benard. (10:00pm)
Alan B.: Why didn't she radiolocate using WWV and WWVH?! (10:03pm)
Alan B.: Ahhhhhhh.... the sweet, sweet sound of the atomic clock. (10:08pm)
Alan B.: UTV . . . for YOU, the viewer! (10:08pm)
Alan B.: Technological adjustment time. (10:09pm)
Alan B.: KrOB has artists ears. He keeps them in a box. (10:10pm)
Alan B.: Welcome back, Sherilyn!! (10:10pm)
Sherilyn: Thanks, Alan! (10:11pm)
Alan B.: Your phonos were beautiful. (10:11pm)
Alan B.: ^^photos (10:11pm)
Alan B.: Don't forget your iced tea with your skittles! http://bit.ly/1esZYHb (10:15pm)
Alan B.: Alan Island! Hey hey! (10:16pm)
Alan B.: List of Guano Island claims http://bit.ly/1et095q (10:17pm)
Alan B.: Everybody drink! (10:19pm)
Alan B.: List of high-altitude nuclear explosions http://bit.ly/1et0kOb (10:20pm)
Alan B.: Try pulling out jacks at random. (10:20pm)
Alan B.: Booper!! (10:20pm)
Alan B.: SA %u2013 Dominic I %u2013 (Operation Fishbowl) %u2013 Johnson Atoll, Pacific Ocean Bluegill, 3 June 1962, failed Bluegill Prime, 25 July 1962, failed Bluegill Double Prime, 15 October 1962, failed Bluegill Triple Prime, 26 October 1962, 410 kt, 50 km Starfish, 20 June 1962, failed Starfish Prime, 9 July 1962, 1.4 Mt, 400 km (The largest man made nuclear explosion in outer space) Checkmate, 20 October 1962, 7 kt, 147 km Kingfish, 1 November 1962, 410 kt, 97 km (10:21pm)
Alan B.: HOLY SHIT she did pull out a plug! (10:21pm)
Alan B.: Starfish Prime, 9 July 1962, 1.4 Mt, 400 km (The largest man made nuclear explosion in outer space) (10:22pm)
Alan B.: Ahhhhhh! Booper! (10:23pm)
Alan B.: See you on the podcast, I have to be a grownup midwesterner. Enjoy the show! (10:25pm)
vj pussycat: It is Bruce Davison (11:02pm)
what are you all talking about?: huh? (11:47pm)
what are you all talking about?: Guam!!!! (11:48pm)
what are you all talking about?: Babble babble babble (11:48pm)
HI!: Tracy here... (11:56pm)
Karen Carpenter: hi (12:22am)