Happy Yekaterina Bridge, you filthy ingrates! You people, who if not for the benevolent Wilford would have frozen solid 18 years ago today. You people, who would suck up the generous titties of Wilford ever since for food and shelter. (But please don't call him the boss, because he's NOT THE BOSS, nor does he want to hear any of your jerky-jerk questions.) Mr. Wilford is merciful, Mr. Wilford is benevolent, and you repay his kindness with violent hooliganism, empty whip-it canisters, and improper RoboDJ settings. You scum! And now, as we pass the Yekaterina Bridge on the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, 74% of you shall die, specifically Karen Carpenter, Mrs. Karen Carpenter, and Sherilyn Connelly.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: My friend, you suffer the misplaced optimism of the doomed.

Chatroom History
December 31, 2014 10:00pm - 12:30am
Alan B.: Alan B. (10:14pm)
Alan B.: Salut, les enfants! (10:14pm)
Alan B.: Sounds wonderful. (10:14pm)
Alan B.: Happy new year, you lot. (10:15pm)
Dr. Penny: It's not the penultimate show because it's always the final broadcast. (10:15pm)
Alan B.: Damn near. (10:16pm)
Alan B.: I am green with envy. (10:16pm)
Mrs.: I have chocolate cake (10:16pm)
Mrs.: I can only answer through chatterbox (10:17pm)
Alan B.: He said knob. (10:17pm)
Alan B.: Hi, Sarah Z! (10:18pm)
Mrs.: Hi Alan B! (10:18pm)
Mrs.: It was sad (10:19pm)
Alan B.: I'm with you, BobMarc, I didn't watch Snarglepiercer, either. (10:19pm)
Alan B.: Supertrain! (10:20pm)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/1Aj9ZDi (10:20pm)
nexus006: Happy new year Alan B. (10:21pm)
Alan B.: Happy new year, nexuszerozerosix! (10:21pm)
Alan B.: We already watched Ryan Seacrest and fell asleep. (10:23pm)
Alan B.: I want to cut Jenny McCarthy's head off. (10:23pm)
Alan B.: Taylor Swift danced awkwardly. (10:23pm)
Alan B.: Elton John looked like a potato with mange in a glitttery sportsjacket. (10:23pm)
Alan B.: I want to marry the sound tonight and have babies with it. (10:24pm)
Alan B.: It sounded like the gain on the input channel / RoboDJ was too hot on the board. (10:24pm)
Dr. Penny: Elton John in a Taylor Swift tutu might be nice. (10:25pm)
Alan B.: Or maybe like the sound of Juan Rapido failing. (10:25pm)
Alan B.: Elton sings like a 70 year old Elton John. (10:25pm)
Alan B.: Hi, Dr. Penny!! (10:26pm)
Alan B.: Why does the tour guide talk like William Shatner? (10:27pm)
Dr. Penny: Hi Alan B.! :) (10:27pm)
Alan B.: MYSTERY ISLAND! (10:27pm)
Alan B.: He's a cylon! (10:27pm)
Dr. Penny: From Cyland (10:29pm)
Alan B.: Talking directly into a diaphragm of a microphone will cause a nasty side effect called "P-popping". (10:29pm)
Alan B.: P-popping is a horrible explosive bass "thump" you hear when a speaker uses certain letters (P's and B's) and speaks right into the mic. (10:29pm)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/1AjaIEx (10:29pm)
Alan B.: This music makes me want cocaine. (10:30pm)
Alan B.: I can't wait for "space." (10:31pm)
Dr. Penny: might as well be Great White (10:32pm)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/1AjaX2k (10:32pm)
Alan B.: I only have pound, is that too much? (10:33pm)
Alan B.: Okay, that Lazarus pull made me laugh out loud. (10:33pm)
Dr. Penny: Sounds like enough for new years eve. (10:34pm)
Alan B.: God made man, but He used a monkey to do it. (10:35pm)
Alan B.: Apes in the plan, and we're all here to prove it (10:35pm)
Alan B.: I've missed a lot of episodes, will cocaine fit in the Large Hadron Collider? (10:36pm)
Alan B.: Throw the fan out the window? (10:37pm)
Dr. Penny: And all the angels stood round about the throne, and about the elders and the four beasts, and fell before the throne on their faces, and worshipped God. -- Rev. 7:11 (10:38pm)
Alan B.: NICE. (10:38pm)
Alan B.: ... I have stolen more quotes and thoughts and purely elegant little starbursts (10:39pm)
Alan B.: of writing (10:40pm)
Alan B.: from the Book of Revelations (10:40pm)
Alan B.: than (10:41pm)
Alan B.: from anything else (10:41pm)
Alan B.: in the English Language -- HST (10:41pm)
Dr. Penny: The mother of Sisera looked out at a window, and cried through the lattice, Why is his chariot so long in coming? why tarry the wheels of his chariots? So let all thine enemies perish, O LORD: but let them that love him be as the sun when he goeth forth in his might. -- Judges 5:28, 31 (10:41pm)
mrs.: contractor humor (10:42pm)
Dr. Penny: prehung (10:43pm)
Alan B.: Contactor humor is what closes on Saturday night. (10:43pm)
mrs.: his rear gate is swollen (10:44pm)
Alan B.: Pinterest: Contractor Humor http://bit.ly/1AjbVfb (10:44pm)
Dr. Penny: butt sex is more difficult (10:44pm)
Alan B.: Check the packaging for butt sex instructions. (10:45pm)
Alan B.: Blow power!~ (10:45pm)
Alan B.: THE FUCKING PIPES ON THIS GUY! (10:46pm)
Alan B.: I'm a puddle, I swear to god. (10:46pm)
mrs.: radio voice (10:46pm)
Dr. Penny: His voice has primed you up. (10:47pm)
Dr. Penny: moist (10:47pm)
Alan B.: C'mere, 20-year-old radio-voice guy. (10:47pm)
Alan B.: I vote for 20-year-old DJ getting the booth announcer job at NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, he needs to cut some promos. (10:48pm)
Dr. Penny: OH, he opens up the pores of somebody's wood. (10:53pm)
Alan B.: Giant balls man is a welcome addition to the show. (10:53pm)
Alan B.: That was an hour ago, boss. (10:53pm)
Alan B.: E to the S to the T. (10:54pm)
Alan B.: So far, 2015 is drunk. (10:54pm)
Alan B.: Yes, he is present. (10:54pm)
Alan B.: Up the butt, no lube. (10:54pm)
Alan B.: GOP whipping my ass. (10:55pm)
Alan B.: Where the HELL is H.A.L.?! (10:55pm)
mrs.: real firewworks outside (10:55pm)
Alan B.: I had kraut for dinner at Metzger's German American Restaurant, in Ann Arbor since 1928. (10:56pm)
Alan B.: You need da plane, da plane!! (10:56pm)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/1AjcPZ8 (10:57pm)
Alan B.: Fuck Ayn Rand. (10:57pm)
Alan B.: What is Giant Balls Man's name? (10:58pm)
Alan B.: Oh, Dan, the Giant Balls Man. (10:58pm)
Alan B.: Karen Carpenter promised me that if I watched tonight's NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, I would understand all of the Snarglepiercer references. (10:59pm)
mrs.: lies (10:59pm)
Alan B.: I figured cocaine and chocolate cake would attract Dr. H.A.L. (10:59pm)
mrs.: spoilers (10:59pm)
Alan B.: GOD DAMMIT SPOILERS (11:00pm)
mrs.: hal is in high demand on holidays (11:00pm)
Alan B.: I don't need H.A.L. when the lovely Ms. Z is in the chatterbox. (11:00pm)
Dr. Penny: small children are perpetually needed (11:01pm)
Dr. Penny: and so Dr. Fiasco has another baby (11:01pm)
mrs.: nhlg banned (11:02pm)
Alan B.: Can I request my NHLG Venom station ID, Karen Carpenter? (11:02pm)
Alan B.: Church Air (11:03pm)
Dr. Penny: Bridge Air (11:04pm)
Dr. Penny: Balls deep (11:04pm)
mrs.: dj dan wanted to know if the mess we leave here ends up at RV (11:05pm)
Dr. Penny: has the fan been torn down and thrown out the window? (11:06pm)
Alan B.: I have it here, Pete: http://bit.ly/1AjdAkW (11:06pm)
Alan B.: ^^Snarglepiercer map (11:07pm)
Alan B.: Australia: Snubbed (11:07pm)
Alan B.: My NYE wish for you: http://on.fb.me/1AjdLfS (11:09pm)
Alan B.: Where the hell is Kat Herding and John Shirley? (11:09pm)
Alan B.: This motherfucker is completely spoilt. (11:10pm)
Kat Herding: here! (11:11pm)
Alan B.: Mmmmmwah! Hi, Kat! (11:11pm)
Kat Herding: give Karen Carpenter a big smooch for me. (11:11pm)
Alan B.: No, he's mean! (11:12pm)
mrs.: i will (11:12pm)
Alan B.: http://imdb.to/1Aje629 (11:13pm)
Dr. Penny: http://bit.ly/1Aje62a (11:13pm)
Kat Herding: Earth is not flat. Earth is hollow. (11:14pm)
mrs.: snowpiercer at ca academy (11:14pm)
Alan B.: I watched the trailer, and if I had to live on that train I would do everything I could to derail it. (11:16pm)
Dr. Penny: The train streams through a cocaine wonderland. (11:17pm)
Alan B.: Let me axe you a question. (11:17pm)
Alan B.: KrOB's lecture 22: Jar-Jar, Threat or Menace? (11:18pm)
Dr. Penny: http://bit.ly/1Ajez4o (11:19pm)
Alan B.: Black Stomtrooper can't breathe. (11:19pm)
Alan B.: Fuckin' awesome! (11:20pm)
Alan B.: Wall to wall and tree-top tall, good buddy! (11:20pm)
mrs.: i was in return of the jedi (11:21pm)
fpaynter: Return of the jelly? (11:21pm)
Alan B.: I remember that! You were in a crowd scene? (11:21pm)
mrs.: and empire strikes back (11:21pm)
mrs.: :) (11:21pm)
fpaynter: a baseball show? (11:21pm)
fpaynter: sorry, I was here to talk about the cat in the box and temporal flux (11:22pm)
Alan B.: NOT the real Darth Vader (11:24pm)
Alan B.: it was the fake for the appearances. (11:24pm)
Alan B.: I have wasted so much of my life listening to NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND> (11:25pm)
Dr. Penny: Are Darth Vader's balls as big as DJ Dan's? (11:26pm)
Alan B.: I went to see DUNE hoping for the STAR WARS experience. I was disappointed. (11:27pm)
Dr. Penny: Dan's voice is still better for radio. (11:27pm)
Alan B.: Sting in the winged briefs, what the fuck? (11:28pm)
Alan B.: I totally agree. Fucking capitalists won't share their fucking cocaine. (11:29pm)
Alan B.: $1.91 for unleaded in Ann Arbor. That's a fucking disgrace. (11:29pm)
Alan B.: EVEN BETTER (11:30pm)
Alan B.: MOAR COCAINE (11:30pm)
Alan B.: JAR-JAR (11:30pm)
Alan B.: SNARGLE (11:30pm)
Alan B.: It really does sound magnificent tonight. (11:31pm)
mrs.: timelag (11:31pm)
mrs.: sshhhh (11:31pm)
Alan B.: S P O I L E R S (11:31pm)
vj pussycat: HAPPY FUCKIN NEW YEAR Y'ALL (11:31pm)
Alan B.: FUCK YEAH VJ (11:32pm)
mrs.: hfny (11:32pm)
vj pussycat: we're not listening but look at the pic of me and mrs doctor fiasco (11:32pm)
Alan B.: God dammit, I wish I could listen to this every week. (11:32pm)
vj pussycat: Acting like we're listening (11:33pm)
Alan B.: Live, I mean. (11:33pm)
Alan B.: In Nevada, it's 1972. (11:33pm)
vj pussycat: Are you listening to the reloadio now? (11:33pm)
Dr. Penny: Let's do the timewarp again. (11:33pm)
mrs.: is bobmarc lying? (11:35pm)
Dr. Penny: They burned the ball, that's why it's so much like Burning Man. (11:37pm)
mrs.: i smell chocolate (11:37pm)
mrs.: wine refill all around (11:39pm)
Dr. Penny: The LORD hath prepared his throne in the heavens; and his kingdom ruleth over all. -- Psalms 103:19 (11:40pm)
Alan B.: I may have to BluRay this film. (11:41pm)
mrs.: who wants more cake? (11:43pm)
mrs.: 13 mins (11:47pm)
Alan B.: You are an excellent host, Ms. Z. (11:47pm)
mrs.: i try (11:48pm)
mrs.: almost 2015 (11:50pm)
mrs.: r those gunshots or fireworks? (11:51pm)
Alan B.: Yes. (11:51pm)
mrs.: who wants more wine (11:53pm)
Alan B.: I'm the only free man on this train! (11:54pm)
mrs.: not disappointing yet (11:56pm)
mrs.: 3 mins (11:57pm)
Alan B.: HOGAN!Q (11:57pm)
Alan B.: Have a great new year, Ms. Z, BobMark, Sherilyn and Karen Carpenter. Thanks for a great show. (11:59pm)
Alan B.: And sexy DJ Dan! (11:59pm)
Dr. Penny: Yes, another priceless episode. (11:59pm)
mrs.: hny (11:59pm)