Any idiot can pester everyone in their general vicinity to vote for someone or something, but it takes Karen Carpenter & Dr. Fiasco in the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND to be there, standing firm in their convictions after everyone's gone home. In tonight's show we will give the Answer Key to this year's ballot. And chances are you flunked and are off to Election Special Ed. Ed Lee, that is.

Call 415-875-9051 and weigh in with your unqualified opinion on NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND's own Voter Propositions, including:

- Move the entire SF school district to the Farallon Islands, thereby ending for good parent's complaints that their kids don't get to go to school in their neighborhood.

- Frank Chu for City Comptroller.

- Making Ross Mirkarimi's hair a National Landmark. Same for Avalos' beard.

- Sit/Lie outlawed in the Mission, with the culturally sensitive caveat that hammocks are still OK.

- Bond initiative to finance the shaving of Ed Lee's outdated porn mustache.

- Trade Bayview/Hunter's Point for Alameda. Throw in a couple of hipster bars to sweeten the deal. 1015 Folsom to be relocated to its aboriginal homeland of Hayward.

- Treasure Island to become World's Largest Leash-free Dog Park.

- Police pensions to be partially funded by sales of Rose Pak Action Figures (available at select Chinatown outlets)

Applying the Heisenberg uncertainty principle to politics, we can prove that the mere act of participating in an election actually CHANGES THE OUTCOME! Also, the position and momentum of a politician can never be simultaneously determined.

Plus: An interview with Herman Cain's conscience.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: We decide. You put up with it.