Let's do a show about drugs. Have we done a drug show yet? We must have but I've, uh, forgotten. In any case, no one will notice. We sample some William Burroughs, put some North Korean patriotic marching music in the background, slowed down 1000% with reverb on the whole thing and we have a drug show, which is basically what we do every goddamn week. Hey, who turned on the reverb? No, not the reverb on the North Korean music, someone turned on the reverb in the real world. Yes, the real world, the big real world out there of Atoms, Eight-Ball Glasses and Elvis. I'm hungry. I am going to grill some chicken. Who wants some grilled chicken? Ok, it's grilled chicken for me, you, the purple crocodile over there in the corner (brown meat only, got it!) Sidarta Gautama over here won't have any cuz he's vegetarian. Zeus wants some lamb. We don't have any lamb. Zeus can grill his own damn lamb, he's a deity and he beds all the hotties in Greece, it's not unreasonable to expect Zeus to fend for himself. And so in the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND with Karen Carpenter and Dr. Fiasco, and SEAN KELLY(!)we're going to talk about... about... what was that again? Ah yes, we're going to talk about stuff like:

"Tracks", The Pre-School Drug Otter with Way Too Much Street Cred

What if we hired two Detectives and told them to follow each other?

Is it really fun to stay at the YMCA? Or is it a vast conspiracy by the Bohemian Grove people to sell us gym memberships?

How about we dose all the Shawarma and Falafel in the Middle East with Ecstasy and solve the war once and for all?

How many micrograms to turn Pol Pot into Santa Claus?

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: Please pass the corn chips, the mayonnaise and the can of condensed milk.

Chatroom History
June 13, 2012 10:00pm - 1:30am

Karen Carpenter: start chatbox chattering now (10:16pm)
vj pussycat: Did you use the toilet seat warmer? (10:22pm)
Curmudge: blah blah chatter chitter bath salts bla bla bla (10:23pm)
vj pussycat: Bath salts hahaha (10:24pm)
vj pussycat: nerds (10:40pm)
Dr. Penny: Wow, Puzzling Evidence killed both Kennedy and "Bob"? (10:40pm)
vj pussycat: the beaches of peaches (10:42pm)
Dr. Penny: Urine California (10:45pm)
Curmudge: Magic is a strategy card game,D&D is a role playing fantasy game. (10:48pm)
Dr. Penny: Where is BobMarc????? (10:48pm)
, l/kb;jg;jg;ougliyfkutd: p (10:50pm)
Dr. Penny: Ahhhh, that's adorable! (10:50pm)
Dr. Fiasco: Bob-Marc is trying to get into his girlfriend's pants (10:51pm)
Dr. Penny: lol (10:51pm)
Dr. Fiasco: It's true (10:51pm)
Curmudge: He has to lose a couple more pounds. (10:51pm)
Dr. Penny: Well who wouldn't want to get into his hot martian pants! (10:52pm)
Dr. Penny: That's right Janeway destroyed the whole Borg collective. (10:52pm)
Pot: Lose a couplea pounds of......me. (10:52pm)
Pot: so, where are the drugs? (10:55pm)
Pot: Squalor, New York? (10:55pm)
Pot: ha ha he said pants. (10:56pm)
Pot: What are laughers? (10:57pm)
Pot: locked....push it.......drug collection (10:57pm)
Curmudge: Oh great...now we hear Karen trying on hats. (11:07pm)
vj pussycat: exciting isn't it (11:08pm)
Curmudge: I am all giddy (11:08pm)
Weatherman: Thanks for using me too. (11:10pm)
vj pussycat: well dont get too worked up. it's sure to get even better! (11:11pm)
Curmudge: Hey,storytellers started early! (11:11pm)
Weatherman: It can't get much worse. (11:11pm)
vj pussycat: 11:11 (11:11pm)
Curmudge: 1:11 (11:12pm)
Weatherman: 1:1 (11:12pm)
vj pussycat: 11:12:23 (11:12pm)
Weatherman: : (11:12pm)
vj pussycat: 11:12:34 (11:12pm)
Curmudge: 1:12 (11:12pm)
Weatherman: I guess it's drugs (11:12pm)
vj pussycat: (--- (11:13pm)
Curmudge: or listening to this show. (11:16pm)
Weatherman: your audience. (11:17pm)
Curmudge: I have no audience (11:17pm)
vj pussycat: hey! that's not true (11:18pm)
Curmudge: I stand corrected. (11:21pm)
Weatherman: and this is a prince of shows..... (11:22pm)
Weatherman: There's me again.... (11:24pm)
vj pussycat: at least this show doesn't have any competition. we are forced to choose this one (11:26pm)
Curmudge: Forced (11:26pm)
vj pussycat: what else would i listen to live right now? (11:26pm)
Curmudge: Paint drying. (11:27pm)
Dr. Fiasco: There's River Dance on the PBS fund raiser. (11:27pm)
vj pussycat: heard it. 2003 tour of walls (11:27pm)
Curmudge: Roger Waters? (11:28pm)
vj pussycat: really?!! riverdance?!! i'm outta here! (11:28pm)
vj pussycat: haha (11:28pm)
Weatherman: They need the drugs.......please......now... (11:28pm)
Curmudge: Thick Dick Carpenter (11:28pm)
Weatherman: Alan Thicke Trick. (11:29pm)
Curmudge: Canuck bastard (11:29pm)
vj pussycat: i'm back now. forgot i dont have tv (11:29pm)
vj pussycat: cant call, i'm not driving on the 101 (11:31pm)
Weatherman: Dave's not here. (11:32pm)
dave: what? (11:33pm)
dave: knock knock (11:33pm)
Weatherman: dave's not here. (11:33pm)
dave: no man (11:33pm)
dave: it's me. i got the stuff (11:33pm)
Weatherman: wait... (11:33pm)
dave: knock knock (11:34pm)
Curmudge: No soliciting (11:35pm)
dave: i got the stuff (11:35pm)
Curmudge: Chong? (11:36pm)
dave: knock knock (11:36pm)
dave: no man it's me dave (11:36pm)
Curmudge: who is there? (11:36pm)
dave: DAVE! (11:36pm)
Curmudge: Dave is not here. (11:36pm)
dave: NO MAN, (11:36pm)
dave: I"M DAVE! (11:36pm)
Weatherman: Dave's not here. (11:37pm)
dave: let me in i got the stuff (11:37pm)
Weatherman: What? (11:37pm)
dave: i think someone followed me here (11:37pm)
dave: knock knowck (11:37pm)
Curmudge: Don't answer the phone. (11:37pm)
vj pussycat: or the door (11:38pm)
Curmudge: Dave will not go away. (11:39pm)
vj pussycat: i think he's gone now (11:40pm)
Curmudge: He is hiding in the bushes (11:40pm)
Weatherman: Dave's not here. (11:41pm)
Curmudge: Dave has some stuff I heard. (11:46pm)
vj pussycat: Don't do the brown code (11:53pm)
Curmudge: I am still not listening. (11:55pm)
vj pussycat: Not missing much (11:56pm)