It will doom you good.

Chatroom History
March 21, 2014 10:00pm - 1:30am

Alan B.: " The neuosphere is an energetic envelop that surrounds the earth. Within the neuosphere lives all the thoughts%u2026and the feelings of humanity." http://bit.ly/1hRHYae (10:00pm)
Alan B.: I totally love The Poobah Players, I'm not even kidding. I tuned in on the right night!! (10:01pm)
Alan B.: Pat Novak, for Hire http://bit.ly/1hRIWTL (10:06pm)
Alan B.: As someone who has had an (10:08pm)
Alan B.: "empty" gun stuck in his ribs, I can relate. (10:08pm)
Alan B.: I just noticed that this is presented in glorious monaural. (10:26pm)
Alan B.: Thanks, lovely. Not enough radio drama being done. (10:34pm)
DrPantzFunkley: great show so far tonight Hal!!! (10:35pm)
DrPantzFunkley: Praise (10:35pm)
DrPantzFunkley: BoB (10:35pm)
Alan B.: The SubGenius material has only recently been made public. This is YOUR chance to get in on the ground floor of a huge, lucrative cult -- NOW, while rates are low. You will then be eligible for all the $$$, weird sex, and SHEER POWER OVER OTHERS that go with high-ranking membership in the Church. And yes, YOU CAN PERFORM LEGAL WEDDINGS! (10:35pm)
Alan B.: Church. (10:36pm)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/14Oy1c0 (10:36pm)
Alan B.: On The Marriage Of A Virgin http://bit.ly/1hRNwBs (10:37pm)
Alan B.: Waking alone in a multitude of loves when morning's light Surprised in the opening of her nightlong eyes (10:37pm)
Alan B.: His golden yesterday asleep upon the iris And this day's sun leapt up the sky out of her thighs (10:37pm)
Alan B.: Was miraculous virginity old as loaves and fishes, Though the moment of a miracle is unending lightning (10:38pm)
Alan B.: And the shipyards of Galilee's footprints hide a navy of doves. (10:38pm)
Alan B.: Her heart all ears and eyes, lips catching the avalanche Of the golden ghost who ringed with his streams her mercury bone, (10:38pm)
Alan B.: That other sun, the jealous coursing of the unrivalled blood. (10:38pm)
Alan B.: Dylan Thomas : (10:38pm)
Alan B.: recondite - 1. (of a subject or knowledge) little known; abstruse. (10:41pm)
Alan B.: Send your plege earmarked for Ask Dr. Hal to Radio Valencia, but mark it as money for a friend. radiovalencia.donations@gmail.com (10:43pm)
Alan B.: Wait! Though, until the fundraising show. (10:44pm)
Alan B.: ASK DR HAL AT THE DARK ROOM THEATRE 10 PM SATURDAY http://bit.ly/12cv2qi (10:52pm)
Alan B.: Landing the first Israeli spacecraft on the moon: (10:52pm)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/PSpUFB (10:53pm)
Alan B.: A rat done bit my sister Nell, and Hershel's on the moon. (10:53pm)
Alan B.: quiveringbrain.com is your home for SEEKRIT HQ recordings of The Puzzling Evidence Show http://bit.ly/1hRSkqA (10:55pm)
Alan B.: (look for the link, and listen to Philo's music as well) (10:56pm)
Alan B.: Titties. (10:59pm)
Alan B.: I have written to the station management because it is very difficult to connect BUT it IS possible if you keep at it. Anyway, keep grinding it out for the podcast. (11:02pm)
Alan B.: Since Wednesday, I have been receiving connection errors when I try to reach radiovalencia.fm, but persistence is rewarded. (11:03pm)
Alan B.: "Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke. (11:03pm)
Sesame Street alien: wait, what (11:05pm)
Alan B.: Yip yip yip! (11:05pm)
Alan B.: Yip yip yip! (11:05pm)
Alan B.: BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR-ING! (11:06pm)
Alan B.: Kill "Bob." (11:06pm)
Alan B.: I can hear you, Dr. Hal. (11:08pm)
Sesame Street alien: Book say: "Bob" dead. (11:08pm)
Alan B.: Wellman, turn in your badge and gun. (11:08pm)
Sesame Street alien: Winky has that effect on people. (11:09pm)
Alan B.: The site is desperately fucked, but if you keep banging on the site you can connect. (11:09pm)
Alan B.: Wrong Wrapido needs to pay the hosting bill. (11:10pm)
Alan B.: Pete may not be able to hear the show, legitimately. There are problems. (11:12pm)
Alan B.: A pipe smoking in a human face, forever. (11:14pm)
Alan B.: I wish this and vodka were less fun, I'm getting tired. (11:22pm)
Alan B.: Hadrons in flight. (11:48pm)
Alan B.: smoooove. (11:49pm)
Alan B.: Hi, Puzzlin Evidenc. (12:14am)
Alan B.: I shall listen to the balance on the podcast. (12:14am)
Alan B.: G'nite, one and all (12:16am)
vj pussycat: hi bye (12:16am)
vj pussycat: i can't. i gotta gig. (12:17am)
Alan B.: Alan B. (12:33am)
Alan B.: Hi, Mr. Evidence. Always following closely. (12:33am)
Alan B.: Every firing squad forms a circle. (12:34am)
Sesame Street alien: That's what the Left does, regrettably. (12:34am)
Alan B.: I said that because someone shot "Bob." When I was 17 it shocked me, but now I understand why. (12:35am)
Alan B.: The Bangles, dude. (12:39am)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/OHhFuX (12:40am)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/1dzn3q4 (12:41am)
Alan B.: Magic eye tube ^^^^ (12:41am)
Alan B.: Besides its primary application in the common radio set, the magic eye was used for other applications as well, primarily testing devices or electronic measuring devices. (12:43am)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/1dzni4s (12:43am)
Alan B.: This was the Webcor Regent model my father let us use as children, with the Magic Eye: http://bit.ly/1dznz7m%3D222006%26alg o%3DSIC.FITP%26ao%3D1%26asc%3D20643% 26meid%3D5659991030186031328%26pid%3 D100011%26prg%3D9209%26rk%3D3%26rkt% 3D10%26sd%3D120997814745 (12:45am)
Alan B.: Goddamn Ebay. (12:46am)
Alan B.: Ah, well. (12:46am)
Dr. Penny: Pzlg Evidc never gives up on Kennedy. (12:47am)
Alan B.: Ford: Michigan's only president and a first-class company man. (12:48am)
Dr. Penny: Yeah VCR used to be so popular and fast? (12:48am)
Dr. Penny: ooo, didn't mean it with a "?" (12:49am)
Alan B.: We will rely on PE to hold the line on forgetting Kennedy as he rapidly moves into the past and becomes William McKinley (12:49am)
Alan B.: Buy, Dr. Penny! (12:49am)
Dr. Penny: What! Another something to buy!? (12:50am)
Alan B.: I mean, bye! (12:50am)

Pretty self-explanatory.

Chatroom History
March 14, 2014 10:00pm - 1:30am

who is your guest: who is your guest (10:01pm)
Alan B.: Okay, so I'm actually awake on Friday at 1 a.m. for once. (10:06pm)
Alan B.: Vintage show. (10:06pm)
DrPantzFunkley: I know what you mean. (10:07pm)
who is your guest: are there guests? (10:07pm)
DrPantzFunkley: I just logged on. I haven't heard anything. (10:07pm)
EARLisFreedom: Always. (10:08pm)
EARLisFreedom: Even in yor intestines there are any number of creatures. (10:08pm)
Alan B.: Phinny promotes that Dead Show Jemkem (TM). (10:09pm)
Alan B.: Low Power Boogie (10:09pm)
EARLisFreedom: Wha?? (10:10pm)
Alan B.: Shhh. There is no low power. (10:10pm)
Alan B.: Blessings on whoever cut down some high-quality show for Dr. Hal. (10:12pm)
Alan B.: You can really hear the timbre of The Overman's voice. (10:13pm)
Alan B.: Plan Nein. (10:17pm)
Siskel & Ebert: Ask Dr Hal -- Tonight : The Born-Again Supremacy ( Starring: Matt Damon ) -- When assassin Hal Robins is framed for a botched CIA operation, he is forced to take up his former life as an artist to survive. (10:18pm)
Siskel & Ebert: Ask Dr Hal -- Tonight : Sky Riders (1976) -- James Coburn plays Dr Hal, whose life seems perfect until his Show is cancelled by terrorists one day. After failed attempts to reinstate it back by the police, he takes matters into his own hands... (10:19pm)
spy emerson: dr penny (10:19pm)
Alan B.: Hi, Dr. Penny~ (10:19pm)
spy emerson: help me (10:19pm)
Siskel & Ebert: Ask Dr Hal -- Tonight : Total Playback ( Starring: Arnold Pinknigger ) -- Factory worker Hal Robins begins to suspect that he is a spy after visiting a company that implanted fake memories of The Show. (10:20pm)
spy emerson: slack (10:20pm)
spy emerson: for all (10:20pm)
Siskel & Ebert: Ask Dr Hal -- Tonight : Eight and a Half -- Directed by: Federico Fellini -- Starring: Marcello Mastroianni -- A harried Hal Robins retreats into his memories and fantasies. (10:20pm)
Alan B.: Our mission is educational. (10:20pm)
Siskel & Ebert: Ask Dr Hal -- Tonight : The Long Hot Show -- Starring Paul Newman -- Accused station burner and con man Hal Robins arrives in San Francisco and ingratiates himself with Radio Valencia. (10:20pm)
BugBoy: Show Troopers ! Follow Dr Hal ! Listening to Dr Hal guarantees Citizenship ! Includes free Obamacare ! Listen or Die ! Go ! Go ! Go ! Keep moving ! (10:21pm)
Alan B.: Now I'm nostalgic for TV Guide. (10:21pm)
Alan B.: Can I listen AND die? (10:22pm)
Monsignor TeeHeeHee: SubGenius Cinema Classics # 1 : Big Tit Zombie -- http://bit.ly/1eCPEe4 (10:22pm)
Alan B.: Ah, that time is a sunk cost. (10:22pm)
Alan B.: Gracefully surrender the things of youth: the birds, clean air, tuna, Taiwan - and let not the sands of time get in your lunch. (10:23pm)
spy emerson: ANGER AT THE BRIDGE!!!!! (10:24pm)
Alan B.: D-I-Y Euthanasia Device: http://bit.ly/1eCPROF (10:24pm)
TVGuy: SubGenius Cinema Classics # 2 : Nude Nuns With Big Guns -- viooz[ . ]co/movies/11460-nude-nuns-with-big- guns-2010.html (10:25pm)
Alan B.: STRANGE EVENTS ON THE 33 degree laditude? Along the 33rd Parallel: A Global Mystery Circle http://bit.ly/1eCQ2cN (10:25pm)
Alan B.: Baghdad, Iraq is at 33°33'N latitude. (10:26pm)
TVGuy: Ask Dr Hal -- Tonight : Sky Captain and the World of Yesternow ( Genre: Action, Adventure, Thriller, Sci-Fi, Mystery ) -- Starring: Gwyneth Paltry, Jew Law, Angelina Jolly ; After San Francisco is attacked by giant flying robots, Hal Robins ( Gwyneth Paltry ) teams up with a K-Rob ( Angelina Jolly ) in search of their origin. (10:26pm)
Alan B.: Roswell (10:26pm)
TVGuy: Ask Dr Hal -- Tonight : Friday Night Fever -- Starring: John Travolta as Hal Robins -- A San Francisco senior citizen feels his only chance to get somewhere is as a topless exotic dancer. (10:26pm)
Alan B.: Hiroshima, Japan (10:26pm)
TVGuy: Ask Dr Hal -- Tonight : Fearless -- Directed by: Peter Weir -- Starring: Jeff Bridges -- Hal Robin's personality is dramatically changed after telling a bad joke. (10:27pm)
Alan B.: The Christ in the Gospels accomplishes 33 miracles of which 24 were cures. (10:27pm)
Alan B.: SubGenius Commercial http://bit.ly/1eCQuaJ (10:29pm)
Alan B.: JFK was murdered on the 33rd parallel. (10:31pm)
Alan B.: Dead at 33: (10:32pm)
Alan B.: John Belushi (10:33pm)
Alan B.: Sam Cooke (10:33pm)
Alan B.: Carole Lombard (10:33pm)
Alan B.: Eva Perón (10:33pm)
Alan B.: Keith Relf (10:34pm)
Alan B.: Theo Van Gogh (10:34pm)
Alan B.: Bill Hicks (10:34pm)
Alan B.: Lester Bangs (10:34pm)
Alan B.: Moishe had a temper. (10:40pm)
Alan B.: Don't trifle with the equals sign. If you lay down some bad shit on one side, it sure as hell will visit the other side. (10:41pm)
Alan B.: Roast that cock before you eat it, or you'll get salmonella. (10:43pm)
Alan B.: Blessed be his memory. (10:44pm)
Alan B.: Tiny plastic dinosaurs http://bit.ly/1eCSYG8 (10:49pm)
Alan B.: Marijuana soda pop: http://bit.ly/1eCT94i (10:50pm)
Alan B.: If he hasn't seen your $35, you're still "Pink" to "Bob." http://bit.ly/14Oy1c0 (10:51pm)
Alan B.: Here come the saucers: http://bit.ly/1eCUtnZ (10:57pm)
Alan B.: Hagis. (11:05pm)
Alan B.: They've come for the Hadrons. (11:06pm)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/1kSIxpu (11:17pm)
EARLisFreedom: How would Hal know such as thing regarding Kevin Nealon.. How insulting, this implicatio. (11:19pm)
Alan B.: Apparently, he has a slightly-used and tasty butthole. (11:20pm)
EARLisFreedom: Bed, BAth, and Beyond the Stars (11:21pm)
EARLisFreedom: you know, Bath is a funny town. Roman ruins there... they still have the baths! (11:23pm)
EARLisFreedom: Come to see ME screw up the visuals!! The debacle that promises is worth the price of admision. (11:25pm)
Alan B.: Babes in Toyland (1934 Film) http://bit.ly/1kSJv5c (11:25pm)
EARLisFreedom: You know, that ain't a bad movie. (11:26pm)
Alan B.: Love that poetry. (11:31pm)
Alan B.: The Pale of Settlement (11:34pm)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/1kSJUEK (11:35pm)
Alan B.: was the term given to a region of Imperial Russia in which permanent residency by Jews was allowed and beyond which Jewish permanent residency was generally prohibited. (11:35pm)
Alan B.: The Fifth Seal: http://bit.ly/1kSJYnK (11:37pm)
Alan B.: Jewish life in the shtetls (Yiddish: %u05E9%u05D8%u05E2%u05D8%u05DC%u05E2 %u05DA shtetlekh "little towns") of the Pale of Settlement was hard and poverty-stricken. (11:39pm)
Alan B.: Beautiful. (11:45pm)
Alan B.: Again. (11:46pm)
Alan B.: My tiny money will help the cause soon. (11:47pm)
Alan B.: And with that, a fond adeau to you and you and you. (11:48pm)
EARLisFreedom: And, ah, thank yew, so very,very much- ah.. (11:58pm)
EARLisFreedom: this Dr. Penny person is, in truth, a funny broadcast foil to this Dr. hal person. (12:15am)
EARLisFreedom: in truth, that is (12:15am)
EARLisFreedom: Dr. Hal. (12:16am)
EARLisFreedom: there are no fireflies here (12:40am)
EARLisFreedom: it's the price we pay. that, and earthquakes. (12:41am)
EARLisFreedom: the lightening is my frie-eeeeend! (12:44am)

Where Dr. Hal Blames it on Rio, to which Rio prompty replies that it was all consensual between two adults, a pack of monkeys and a 300-piece drum section


Chatroom History
March 7, 2014 10:00pm - 1:30am

Siskel & Ebert: Ask Dr Hal -- Tonight : Spy Emerson: The Spy Who Shagged Me -- Starring: Mike Myers as Dr Hal uses a time machine to return to the 60's and steal PUzzling Evidence's mojo, leaving him shagless. (10:07pm)
Siskel & Ebert: Ask Dr Hal -- Tonight : Sky Riders (1976) -- James Coburn plays Dr Hal, whose life seems perfect until his Show is cancelled by terrorists one day. After failed attempts to reinstate it back by the police, he takes matters into his own hands... (10:18pm)
Earl: Golly, been practicing this image thing for the LIVE show, using THIS one. (11:44pm)
Practicing: William Wordsworth. See he's easy to punch up on here. (11:48pm)
Practicing: However, I guess to get laughs it'll have to be "William Wordsworth fucking" (11:49pm)
Practicing: let's see what happens in that case... (11:49pm)
Practicing: Hm.. not much success (11:51pm)
Practicing: I'm sure "Poe fucking" is on the internets (11:52pm)
Practicing: bravo, well done.. no "Poe fucking" however, which is all to the good. We still have some scrap of respect left in our culture. . (11:57pm)
Practicing: Thomas Hardy! Who most don't regard as a poet, anymore. (11:59pm)
Practicing: well, I'M here... in this here BOX (12:02am)
Practicing: one can think tthings into being, but... this goes tot eh nagative, as well. civilizations do it all the time. (12:06am)
Practicing: that is, it can go to the negative, this projection (12:07am)
Practicing: Agreed! The appetites of many adults are difficult to comprehend. But there are also a lot of weird kids who start weird fds, too, as I recall. (12:10am)
Practicing: fads, like self-scarring, a big "thing" I couldn't grock as a child. They'd rub the backs of their hands until scabs would form! Really awful. (12:12am)
Practicing: we need March to contnue as a bobcat, at least. Rain, rain. More rain, we humbly pray.t. (12:14am)
Practicing: Pray to the rain diety. (12:14am)
Practicing: The Faries (12:17am)
Practicing: brownng. hey, dig this cool in'jun music, yeah. it's the best. (12:20am)
Practicing: cautionary tales by... belloc... belloc!! (12:22am)
Practicing: poor Henry King (12:23am)
Practicing: at least this early brotherhood had Raquel Welch. A fine source of initiative. (12:30am)
Practicing: where is everyone? (12:31am)
Practicing: Where Have All the People Gone? (12:34am)
Practicing: well, that'll show that mariner.. (12:42am)
Practicing: "gloatingly".. ha ha ha (12:43am)
Practicing: yeah, Gardens of Zothique, yep. That's about right. too. (12:48am)
vj pussycat: hi (12:49am)
Dr. Penny: Hi (12:49am)
vj pussycat: hello doctor (12:50am)
Practicing: been a lot of poetry, ya missed it. but you're on time for the other guys... (12:51am)
vj pussycat: why I oughtta (12:51am)
vj pussycat: I've been listening - just busy with other stuff too (12:51am)
Dr. Penny: Me, too. :/ (12:52am)
Practicing: cool... well, the follow up crew, they'll be able to see to your prayer requests. Or attempt it. (12:52am)
vj pussycat: i did miss puzzling evidence last night. fell asleep :( (12:53am)
Practicing: it was an esoteric discussion of a great deal of ww2 "trivia"... (12:54am)
vj pussycat: and let me guess, jfk? (12:55am)
Practicing: although not trivial to those involved back then, on the ground and in the air. um.. yes, probably, yes, there was. (12:56am)
vj pussycat: I KNEW IT!!! (12:57am)
Practicing: a terrible thing for our nation (12:58am)
Practicing: now Itunes won't connect to this damned station. oh, well. (12:58am)
vj pussycat: i use the rv app on my phone and have problems all the time (12:59am)
vj pussycat: in fact, this new update really sucks! (1:00am)
Dr. Penny: I use a media player & a stream link http://bit.ly/R7R2P13010/live (1:01am)
Practicing: well, the other fellows are coming on, time for me to be off of here. aren't you the Bat Out of Hell fan in Ohio? (1:02am)
Practicing: or Michigan? (1:02am)
Practicing: right, I recall that. Happy listening. (1:03am)
Practicing: now that Hal is off, the iTunes feed for the station works like a champ. Ain't that the way. (1:04am)
vj pussycat: typical (1:09am)

Unless you're Ukrainian.

Chatroom History
February 28, 2014 10:00pm - 1:30am

DrPantzFunkley: amazing answers to ouor pathetic questions eh? (10:14pm)
DrPantzFunkley: fuck yeah, Friday Night (10:15pm)
DrPantzFunkley: praise bob (10:18pm)
DrPantzFunkley: give me slack or give me even more slack (10:18pm)
DrPantzFunkley: yes, coffee is what I am even drinking now.... must stay awake to enjoy the orations of our order's fearless oratorial overman (10:28pm)
DrPantzFunkley: oh really (10:29pm)
DrPantzFunkley: i will do my best to hang with you Dr Hal (10:32pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: FetTalk sponsored by the ACCUJAK (10:33pm)
Nurse Annabella..Horror Hostess: greetings dr hal and greetings dr pantz (10:33pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: well, so he's mixing his drinks, tonight. this should be fun. (10:34pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: stick aroun' Nurse Annabellls, he'll need yez.. (10:35pm)
Nurse Annabella..Horror Hostess: should i go into teh studio earlier and say hi to the doctor?? (10:35pm)
DrPantzFunkley: hell yeah (10:36pm)
Nurse Annabella..Horror Hostess: i will if there is vodka lol (10:36pm)
DrPantzFunkley: Hi Nurse Annabella (10:36pm)
Nurse Annabella..Horror Hostess: hallo! ;p (10:36pm)
DrPantzFunkley: FRIDAY NIGHT (10:36pm)
DrPantzFunkley: let's have a ball (10:37pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: hi theres, Nursey, he he heh, thassa nice skirtz ya got on, outfit, there, okay, hi. (10:37pm)
Nurse Annabella..Horror Hostess: gonna pay specil tribute to dr egon spengler ina bit.. (10:37pm)
Nurse Annabella..Horror Hostess: :p (10:37pm)
DrPantzFunkley: what a great idea (10:37pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: beautiful Nurse Annabella Lee (10:37pm)
DrPantzFunkley: if anybody can do egon spengler justice it's you (10:38pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: dr who???? (10:38pm)
DrPantzFunkley: who what why murdered ??? (10:38pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: who???awwww.I'll jes look it up. saaaay gib us a kiss, der... (10:38pm)
Nurse Annabella..Horror Hostess: so bummed egon died :( (10:38pm)
DrPantzFunkley: be not sad, he had a great run, better than most on this pork rind of a world (10:39pm)
Nurse Annabella..Horror Hostess: he was one of earth;s greatest scientists..dr hal should know.. (10:39pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: oh, no, is that the mass murderer the chi-town guy? does evverthin haveta be about mass murder all the time?? (10:39pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: sheesh (10:39pm)
DrPantzFunkley: oh yes, dr kleiner is THEE best ... hands down (10:39pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: egon whosss? meeks me another martunnie (10:40pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: les start a bar fight (10:40pm)
Nurse Annabella..Horror Hostess: lol (10:40pm)
DrPantzFunkley: /me vamooses (10:40pm)
DrPantzFunkley: i'm a lover, not a fighter (10:40pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: egon spengler?? oh, you mean harold ramis (10:41pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: ghossbuster-ssss (10:41pm)
DrPantzFunkley: ding ding ding (10:41pm)
DrPantzFunkley: we have a winnar (10:41pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: I guess Harold ramos was a more benevolent CHi-town doctor. okay, go on about HIM, that'd be great (10:41pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: Ramis (10:42pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: so, annabell, are you like annie potta, the actress who played h=egon spengler's love interest? (10:43pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: annie potts (10:43pm)
DrPantzFunkley: the rain sounds great... it came through the interwebs (10:43pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: are you hinting that you may be her? (10:43pm)
DrPantzFunkley: st louis would be so lucky to get rain, instead of the hellacious snow storm they say is coming on sunday (10:44pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: okay. silence. make mine adouble. fuggit. weather. ERP. okays. (10:44pm)
Nurse Annabella..Horror Hostess: yes i'm doing a special tribute for harold ramis here in a few hours lol and yes ppl say i am like janine...radio valencia station is like the ghostbusters HQ (10:45pm)
DrPantzFunkley: i could throw back a couple of lemon drops right about now (10:45pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: not on the so-called "kink" show, issit? (10:45pm)
DrPantzFunkley: i haven't had that martini in a while, but man, soooo tasty (10:45pm)
DrPantzFunkley: tilt the luck plane in the pinball game of life (10:46pm)
Nurse Annabella..Horror Hostess: im after teh kink show lolol (10:46pm)
DrPantzFunkley: not too hard, not too soft, but just riiiiight (10:46pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: janine was the chracter's name... yeah, even in ghostbusters 2 (10:46pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: you know what the funniest line in ghostbusters is? (10:46pm)
Nurse Annabella..Horror Hostess: wat? lol (10:46pm)
DrPantzFunkley: yes (10:46pm)
DrPantzFunkley: i do (10:46pm)
DrPantzFunkley: or is that a question for hal (10:46pm)
DrPantzFunkley: Vincman says, "Dickless here turned off the power" (10:47pm)
DrPantzFunkley: someone says, "is this true" (10:47pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: okay, i'l tell yez, cause you're a PAL (10:47pm)
DrPantzFunkley: Vincman says, "yes, this man has no dick" (10:47pm)
DrPantzFunkley: laughter ensues (10:48pm)
DrPantzFunkley: but you gotta be quick, as the joke whizzes by (10:48pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: to the epa guy? no, too easy a laugh (10:48pm)
DrPantzFunkley: yes (10:48pm)
DrPantzFunkley: oh man (10:48pm)
DrPantzFunkley: that's a great line, the greatest (10:48pm)
DrPantzFunkley: so, what you got Bruceski (10:49pm)
DrPantzFunkley: lay it on our eyes (10:49pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: i keep typing the line in!! (10:49pm)
DrPantzFunkley: and it won't display, right? (10:49pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: right (10:49pm)
DrPantzFunkley: i think they fuck with us at the station (10:50pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: whad da fugkt? (10:50pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: well, never mind, then, but it isn;t the dick line (10:50pm)
DrPantzFunkley: i was trying to type something to nurse annabella last week regarding a request, and it wouldn't go through (10:50pm)
DrPantzFunkley: it's like porky pig! (10:50pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: ackroyd to murray -- you never studied (10:50pm)
DrPantzFunkley: haha (10:50pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: there it came through (10:51pm)
DrPantzFunkley: I'VE BEEN IN THE PRIVATE SECTOR, THEY EXPECT RESULTS (10:51pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: no, it's you never studied, it's contextual.. always makes me laugh somehow. (10:51pm)
DrPantzFunkley: i always felt rick moranis stole the movie in the first one (10:53pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: what is your program, annabellum? (10:53pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: nurse! (10:54pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: hey (10:55pm)
DrPantzFunkley: oy (10:57pm)
Dr. Penny: Boo! (10:57pm)
DrPantzFunkley: oh sheet (10:57pm)
DrPantzFunkley: /me high fives Dr Penny (10:58pm)
Dr. Penny: :) (10:58pm)
DrPantzFunkley: what's up with your good self Dr Penny (10:58pm)
Dr. Penny: Rain!!!!!!! (10:58pm)
DrPantzFunkley: =] tis the time of year (10:59pm)
Dr. Penny: California is getting drenched right now. (11:00pm)
DrPantzFunkley: hear hear Hal, I'll drink to that (11:01pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: the rain it raineth on the just (11:05pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: and also on the unjust, fella (11:05pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: but mostly, it raineth on the just (11:05pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: 'cause the unjust steals the just's umbrella (11:06pm)
Dr. Penny: %u201CThe LORD also thundered in the heavens, And the Highest gave his voice; Hail stones and coals of fire. Yea, he sent out his arrows, and scattered them; And he shot out lightnings, and discomforted them.%u201D - Psalms 18:13-14 (11:08pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: he discomforted the lightnings?? wha? (11:09pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: you mean "He" not "he" (11:09pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: have a drink-y. (11:10pm)
DrPantzFunkley: I sure wish I was there you Dr Hal (11:11pm)
DrPantzFunkley: with* (11:11pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: you wish you were Hal, huh? (11:11pm)
DrPantzFunkley: nope (11:11pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: ne careful what ya wish for (11:11pm)
DrPantzFunkley: i could never pull that off, but i would enjoy partying in the studio with those characters (11:11pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: what chracters? (11:12pm)
DrPantzFunkley: any of them... (11:12pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: it's all just whatthey call in the meida, you know, "media buzz" (11:13pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: you know, folks jawin' 'bout themselves. (11:14pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: Hal goes to less parties! oh, wow. he must have had a 24/7 social calender. don't be fooled. He gets around, he's 'out there'.. he's fluid, he's In Demand! (11:16pm)
Dr. Penny: When the media gets a buzz, is that inebriation or a haircut? (11:17pm)
vj pussycat: wasn't the puzzling evidence show cancelled? (11:17pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: that sounds like a rhetorical question. (11:17pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: it was certainly on last night. what's new, pussycat? (11:18pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: besides this vicious rumor ? (11:19pm)
vj pussycat: I know. I listened. But izzy isn't said it was cancelled. (11:19pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: izzy isn't? you mean don? (11:19pm)
DrPantzFunkley: Earl, to answer your earlier question, Nurse Annabella hosts the Lava Lamps & 8-Track Theatre on RV (11:21pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: ooh, yah, that I gathered. thanks. and when was announcement regarding the SubG program? (11:22pm)
DrPantzFunkley: not sure what you mean (11:22pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: some other rumors (11:22pm)
vj pussycat: Yea, don Joyce (11:25pm)
vj pussycat: At the end of OTE/beginning of PE (11:25pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: Rumor :Upon my tongues continual slanders ride, The which in every language I pronounce, Stuffing the ears of men with false reports." (11:26pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: Mr Joyce said this as Izzy Isn't? (11:26pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: Was there also some pronouncement regarding OTE, itself?? (11:28pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: or was it simpl some regualr announcement about the first Friday morning of the month, or some such? (11:28pm)
vj pussycat: Fuck my last post disappeared. Hang on. Gotta retype... (11:30pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: thas okay "vj pusscat, dere (11:31pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: if they just boot those guys out on Friday morning,s then screw Pacifica, with their giving Amy Whasser face in New Yawk about a million every year. (11:32pm)
poobob: Frivolous irrelevance, but only mildly mind-changing. What else have you got ? You seem like a sensible bunch of super-beings, but Im just not impressed yet ... (11:32pm)
vj pussycat: it wasn't like the 5th/1st week variations. He just said that starting next week OTE would be four hours long and the morning show would start at 4am. There was a programming change. (11:32pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: AMy Cronkite.. you know that morning program. (11:32pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: DOn will have to pull four hours? (11:33pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: all so AMy Bleedywoman, you know, the Savior of Us ALl, can get paid more. (11:33pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: "From the firehouse near Ground Zero -ooo in Manhattan.." (11:34pm)
vj pussycat: He sounded prepared. It's not like he's running low on material and the fucktillionth part of what about the 60s (11:34pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: SO you are saying DOug has been booted, somehow? (11:35pm)
vj pussycat: DR HAL or PHILO or PE - please clarify!! (11:36pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: well, obviously, yes, they would all be out if the program were not on (11:36pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: DOug is THERE< so ask (11:36pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: he's there in the Mission, hear him? we have to get a query to him regarding this. (11:37pm)
vj pussycat: Don mentioned to them about a program change which they apparently we're not aware of (11:37pm)
vj pussycat: I know - they all are there (11:38pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: okay, but DOn wouldn;t just spring something on them on the air, now.. would he? SO what is up? Surely they know by now. (11:38pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: so, perhaps they can be asked in this crucial moment (11:38pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: On the AIr, and all... (11:38pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: what's da numbre? (11:39pm)
vj pussycat: That's what it sounded like. They're not looking at the chat box (11:39pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: well, I guess we'll be left in mystery then. all is lost. (11:40pm)
DrPantzFunkley: 415-962-7979 (11:40pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: at times they DO look, so.. thoe of us who can will have to broach the subject, at a later time. (11:40pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: call them. let's get this solved. (11:40pm)
vj pussycat: I can't right now (11:41pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: well, oh, how very conveeeeeenient! (11:41pm)
vj pussycat: sorry. It just started raining hard again. I'm outside. (11:42pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: perhaps we will be graced with a look-see by those in the studio... of course, perhaps they just wish their privacy and do not wish to comment. (11:42pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: we shall just graviate around the fire, here, like fireflies. (11:43pm)
vj pussycat: I'm sure they'd comment if they look. I gotta finish the soldering I'm in the middle of (11:43pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: The Soldering of VJ Pussycat... that's the name of that Russ Meyer movie. (11:44pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: I'm reluctant to call and inquire about this, somehow, in the event that this is entirely some sort of misapprehension. (11:45pm)
vj pussycat: ha ha solder solder pussycat (11:46pm)
vj pussycat: which is what I think it was (11:46pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: you'll get solder all over your keyboard, and that's just gross. yes, I'm sure you heard what you think you thought you heard. (11:47pm)
vj pussycat: using my phone (11:49pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: However, the idea that Mr. Joyce might choose to simply announce it without their knowing a thing about it seems unlikely. He is not so very tactless as that. Uh. Izzy? (11:49pm)
vj pussycat: yea it was kinda weird (11:53pm)
EARLtheBRUCE: One more thing to worry about. if it's true: thanks Amy Goodman.. "Democracy Now!" ya Commie! I'm lugging out, copping in. I wonder if they're also fucking up the L.A. Pacifica station, now. No sense in worrying until I've looked into it, myself. Bye. (11:56pm)
DrPantzFunkley: had a wonderful time, but i must get some rest for tomorrow has arrived (12:38am)
DrPantzFunkley: so long, and thanks for all the fish =] (12:38am)

After a less than stellar LIVE! Ask Dr Hal Show, the staff retired to the RV studio to made amends to the broadcast gods.

The bizarre thing is how many listeners were entertained by dead air for 2 hours and 43 minutes... a lot of them.


Chatroom History
February 22, 2014 12:00am - 6:29am

Hm: Gee. (12:00am)
Hm: That would personally drive me nuts. (12:00am)
Alan B.: She was a nice lady, but she is my ex. (12:00am)
Alan B.: She also liked The Ramones, so . . . (12:01am)
Hm: Well, Don't Be Sad. (12:01am)
Hm: I'd rather hear the first Ramones constantly. (12:01am)
Alan B.: Okay, so . . . is the show still on?! Is anyone walking back to RV to take in the smoking ruins? (12:01am)
Hm: I have no idea, I think they will simply have to deal with it once they've "wrapped" the show we could not hear. (12:03am)
Alan B.: Okay, here's a palate cleanser: http://bit.ly/1jU1gNU (12:04am)
Hm: Oh! Are you Suicide Man? (12:06am)
Alan B.: Oh, no, but Puzzling Evidence accused me of trying to be Mobeus Rex (12:07am)
Alan B.: I'm neither, I'm just some guy in Michigan. (12:07am)
Hm: Michigan... wow.. (12:07am)
Alan B.: It's really late and really cold here. (12:08am)
Hm: I'll bet. Well, try to keep listening. (12:09am)
Alan B.: I'm intrigued. (12:10am)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/1fpeVvR (12:15am)
Alan B.: Gone forever. (12:22am)
Hm: Gee. (12:24am)
vj pussycat: you fixed it (12:44am)
Alan B.: You're fucking kidding me. (12:44am)
vj pussycat: haha (12:44am)
vj pussycat: is this 4 peas? (12:44am)
vj pussycat: so, what are you going to do for the next 11 minutes? (12:49am)
Alan B.: Lulz (12:51am)
Alan B.: Lulz (12:51am)
Alan B.: lol (12:51am)
Alan B.: Killed the chatbox. (12:51am)
Alan B.: Real hippie. (12:51am)
AlanB: Okay? (12:51am)
AlanB: unnngh (12:51am)
Alan B.: Fuckin' hippies. (12:51am)
Alan B.: lol (12:52am)
vj pussycat: where's hal? (12:52am)
vj pussycat: are you at the dark room? (12:56am)
AlanB: Will it really be all right? (1:00am)
vj pussycat: mad libs?! darn it! (1:00am)
Sherilyn: We are at RV! (1:03am)
Alan B.: You rebooted the server, I guess. Down for a while. (1:19am)
Alan B.: So, did Hal get my letter? (1:20am)
Alan B.: Oooh, I looked at Sherilyn's photo . . . that's a lot of velvet out there. (1:23am)
Alan B.: Oh, well. The short question did not arrive in time. (1:24am)
John Hell: Ah, there you are. (1:27am)
John Hell: Isn't that hotdog of the GMO variety? (1:29am)
John Hell: Grading Pete's performance. (1:30am)
John Hell: The Vikings saved the show. (1:31am)
John Hell: Nothing could save Pete's performance. (1:31am)
John Hell: I eventually paid for it. (1:32am)
Alan B.: Chester Gould? That's a reach back. (1:33am)
Alan B.: Cloud Cult - The Show Starts Now http://bit.ly/MKOAxH (1:35am)
Alan B.: I totally loved that show. (1:35am)
Alan B.: We probably forgive you. (1:37am)
John Hell: Yeah Pete, why don't you get on that now (1:49am)
John Hell: Where's the sex show? (1:52am)
John Hell: What? No one was paying attention to Pete? (1:52am)
John Hell: Roommate radio never sounded so good? Or bad (1:53am)
John Hell: Obviously Pete. Obviously. (1:56am)
DJ Nurse Annabella: Here in the studio early LOL Lava Lamps comin up next!!!! (3:33am)
DJ Nurse Annabella: surprised i made it in early.. (3:33am)
DJ Nurse Annabella: sup yall who's out there in radioland? (3:34am)
Trinity: trin is 'in'... :) (4:10am)
SweetJesus!: goood morning ;) (4:18am)
DJ Nurse Annabella: hi yall glad u can join!! (4:19am)
Shirl: fuck yeh (4:38am)
DJ Nurse Annabella: That's right!!! Anyone who isn't tuned into this now is a huge SQUARE (4:49am)
Shirl: i remember dis (4:58am)
DJ Nurse Annabella: Ernest Thomas interview should be around 8am mark.. (5:24am)
DJ Nurse Annabella: maybe sooner:D (5:25am)
Trinity: Capt'n\ Crunch for the win!!! (5:58am)
Trinity: Fuck now I want a box!!! (5:58am)
Trinity: and i was just at the store a few minutes ago... (5:59am)
Trinity: Though I did stock up on Robins Eggs and rees's pice's... :) (6:00am)
DJ Nurse Annabella: Noice :p (6:03am)
DJ Nurse Annabella: this song is called Dance of Thor by Captain Marryat..this battle of the captains mashup aint over!! (6:15am)

In which we all rejoice in the good news that Hal finally found the Phil Collins cassette tape he lost in 1986. The one with Sussudio.

Chatroom History
February 14, 2014 10:00pm - 1:30am

nobodyouwantoknow: Bjork really really Loves You -- and you thought Nina Hagen was weird... (10:46pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Dear Dr Hal -- Who is John Galt ? Signed, Ayn Rand (10:47pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Dr Hal -- So... risible, albeit derisive, and mere vapid banter... (10:48pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Absolute must-watch required viewing for true SubGenius devoteees ! Do not miss this unbelievably incredible movie : Nazis at the Center of the Earth -- Researchers in Antarctica are abducted by a team of masked storm troopers and dragged underground to a hidden continent in the center of the earth... viooz[.co]/movies/3016-nazis-at-the- center-of-the-earth-2012.html (10:50pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Nazis at the Center of the Earth -- Researchers in Antarctica are abducted by a team of masked storm troopers and dragged underground to a hidden continent in the center of the earth... viooz[.co]/movies/3016-nazis-at-the- center-of-the-earth-2012.html (10:51pm)
EARL: show everyone, then. (11:28pm)
EARL: the Willie Brown Bridge? the one they're about to tear down? (11:35pm)
EARL: Live birth? maybe: but I'd be certain to give a dinosaur a wide berth, myself. (11:37pm)
EARL: Get it? Get it? (11:37pm)
Got: it. (11:38pm)
Peptiles Union: What about US!! (11:38pm)
EARL: The Discovery Channel: headquartered in Silver Springs, Maryland. Just north of our nation's capitol. (11:39pm)
EARL: Whre they invented the Bionic Man. And Woman. (11:56pm)
EARL: Valentine's Day i now officially over with! Happy Day-After-the-Finished Valentine's Day!! (12:05am)
EARL: Happy Day-After-the-now-Defunct-and-Over-W ith-Valentine's Day -- a Conspiracy "Holiday" created to Kill Romance and promote societal tensions and jealousies. (12:07am)
EARL: Valentine's Day, that is. (12:08am)
Audience: is looged oon. (12:10am)
EARL: much is happening, this is so exciting. well, no "day off" here... (12:10am)
Audience: has no idea. (12:11am)
EARL: no day off for President's Day... (12:11am)
Audience: is closed (12:11am)
Audience: is stoopid (12:11am)
Audience: will be skivered (12:11am)
Audience: is lost (12:11am)
Audience: is Lost (12:11am)
EARL: you know, your name is part of your comment! (12:11am)
Karen Carpenter: the moonis wainning not waxing (12:12am)
EARL: That's uncanny! (12:12am)
Karen Carpenter: LNey (12:12am)
Karen Carpenter: Laney (12:13am)
EARL: The Moon is a Ballon (12:13am)
EARL: Baloon (12:13am)
Audience: loves that book. (12:13am)
EARL: Balloon (12:13am)
Audience: also like Bring On The Empty Horse (12:14am)
Audience: is also (12:14am)
Dr. Penny: Those farts are silent but deadly. (12:14am)
EARL: David Nivena also invented the popular lotion. (12:14am)
Karen Carpenter: abarney agumble (12:15am)
Audience: and was in the real Rat pack, aoppessed to the Las Vegas Version distoled by the press (12:16am)
EARL: for five dollars I can buy the Willie O'Brown bridge! (12:16am)
EARL: Shave the Earth! (12:18am)
EARL: Well , I suppose it's beter to have visitors annoying you in hospital than having none at all. (12:21am)
EARL: better, that is... (12:23am)
Better tha Butter: was th goon dogg;le (12:24am)
GoobuildyGok: Not. (12:26am)
EARL: I am doing better, thank you, Ms. Goldie. (12:26am)
EARL: Still delirious, of course. At least it isn't the measles. (12:26am)
Karen Carpenter: she fit in the space suit (12:28am)
EARL: Who needs illicit chemicals? Here in th Bay Area, one can get sicker than anywhere else on Earth -- every common cold carries hallucinations and paranoia! (12:28am)
Dr. Penny: A spoon full of show makes the medicine go down. (12:28am)
EARL: One needs no recreational drugs, here. The climate is perfect for constant sickness! It's much more of a petri dish than NYC or Tokyo or L.A. or anywhere else! And the authorities keep BART so encouragingly filthy (12:31am)
vj pussycat: we were returning the id (12:31am)
vj pussycat: i was there too. in santa rosa (12:32am)
Dr. Penny: At least they occasionally sweep the floors, but it's still not a mop. (12:32am)
EARL: Nothing has changed on BART since I was a teen. Except for the increased population and the Macintosh voices... but still the long 20 minute waits, the carpets are even dirtier... and it's more expensive! So, cool! (12:32am)
EARL: The one thing that has changed for the better besides the linoleum floors in some cars is the longer train lines... so that's something. (12:34am)
EARL: Goodnight, Sweet Prince, KrOB, we Hardly Knew Ye. (12:35am)
Katcina: wide people intro (12:36am)
Karen Carpenter: -zzzzzzzzz (12:38am)
EARL: Hal could just sit in the chat room sometime and spend three hours typing. (12:38am)
EARL: Yeah, what if Forces Beyonfd Mankind Forced Us? Like in The Day the Earth Stood There... "They" know better than us. (12:39am)
EARL: The Day The Earth Just Stood There (12:40am)
EARL: The Day the Earth Just Stood There, Jerking the Fuck Around. (12:42am)
EARL: er.. sorry.. (12:42am)
Katcina: for the whole country (12:43am)
EARL: Valentine's Day is now over with. Ciao, Valentine's Day! Ciao ciao! (12:43am)
EARL: The Day the Earth Just Stood the Fuck Around, Jerking the Fuck Around Like a Bunch of Dumb-Fuck Mother-Fucks (12:46am)
EARL: Oh, man.. sorry, man... (12:47am)
EARL: D.C., I know it well... what an incredible circle-jerk! (12:48am)
EARL: But one day a saucer will land and then go up to Tenley Town, like in that famous movie. "A John Sayles movie" ha ha ha.. give that guy a MacArthur Genius grant! (12:50am)
EARL: 'tis a consumation devoutly to be wished..." (12:53am)
EARL: This program exists just to entertain me in my weakness. (12:54am)
EARL: Have a safe flight(s), Hal (12:55am)
EARL: Put on Hawaiian Music!! (1:03am)
EARL: You're all being kept in the studio to amuse ME... (1:05am)
EARL: Just stay there all night long. Like the Lionel Ritchie song. Go ahead. (1:08am)

Chatroom History
February 7, 2014 10:00pm - 4:30am

DrPantzFunkley: AWESOME (10:08pm)
DrPantzFunkley: haha - you said it Dr Hal (10:08pm)
DrPantzFunkley: that's great (10:10pm)
DrPantzFunkley: i am alrewady looking forward to it (10:11pm)
EARL: So, now I listen, imprisoned in my parents Contra Costa home and sick as hell. But at least I am listening. Amen and They All Said "Amen" (10:24pm)
DrPantzFunkley: praise bob (10:24pm)
EARL: er.. "parent's" ...not to seem disrespectful in not using the plural apostase. Propost-ese, Ese. (10:26pm)
EARL: gee, what a comely voice that woman has. Let her speak throughout this program. (10:37pm)
Karen Carpenter: yup (10:39pm)
vj pussycat: hi. who is dr hal's guest murder (10:41pm)
vj pussycat: murderer (10:41pm)
vj pussycat: oh it's karen's wife (10:42pm)
EARL: and a murderer! self-confessed! (10:42pm)
vj pussycat: yikes (10:43pm)
Dr. Penny: Maybe she killed "Bob" again and again. (10:46pm)
vj pussycat: i've got the opening ceremony of the olympics on. waiting for pussy riot (10:52pm)
Karen Carpenter: me too (10:53pm)
EARL: you'll wait forever, but why wouldn't you. given your pussy-themed moniker of vjpussycat? (10:54pm)
EARL: cats can wait for hours. (10:54pm)
Karen Carpenter: at least we'll get lucky (10:54pm)
DrPantzFunkley: that is true (10:55pm)
EARL: Call Me Lucky, the autobiography of Bing Crosby. (10:55pm)
DrPantzFunkley: seas of necks that are red (10:55pm)
DrPantzFunkley: screw them, never leave (10:56pm)
DrPantzFunkley: ha ha, insane land lady (10:57pm)
DrPantzFunkley: or the crazy ol' bat that lives underneath you and hears things (10:57pm)
vj pussycat: this looks like the hunger games (10:57pm)
EARL: The ceremony? No, it doesn't lookcheap enough to resemble The Hunger Games. (10:58pm)
DrPantzFunkley: the smell of rain and wet streets is great (10:58pm)
DrPantzFunkley: memories (10:58pm)
DrPantzFunkley: light reflecting of the shimmer of the road (10:58pm)
DrPantzFunkley: who is the guest? (10:59pm)
DrPantzFunkley: i am trying not to nod off tonight, but it's late and it was a loooong week (10:59pm)
DrPantzFunkley: thanks for saving the shows out on the internet (10:59pm)
Karen Carpenter: that's no guest... that's my wife! (10:59pm)
DrPantzFunkley: the music is louder than the conversation (10:59pm)
DrPantzFunkley: haha - nice (10:59pm)
DrPantzFunkley: haha - way to turn it up (11:00pm)
vj pussycat: 27 min behind but there's all the mail order brides (11:00pm)
DrPantzFunkley: i have met a few of them (11:00pm)
DrPantzFunkley: they sure were convincing that they loved the guys they were with (11:01pm)
EARL: hey, the music's drowning your conversation off. (11:01pm)
DrPantzFunkley: that's what i am saying (11:01pm)
EARL: drowning it off... I am so very ill. (11:01pm)
DrPantzFunkley: we can all understand chat-ese (11:02pm)
DrPantzFunkley: thingamabobbers (11:02pm)
EARL: okay, we can hear you now. (11:02pm)
DrPantzFunkley: =]\ (11:03pm)
EARL: no, it is better now (11:03pm)
DrPantzFunkley: sure do, the music is great (11:03pm)
vj pussycat: it's been fixed (11:03pm)
DrPantzFunkley: but for a while there we couldn't even hear you (11:03pm)
DrPantzFunkley: hah (11:04pm)
Dr. Penny: The music & voices sound well balanced to me. (11:04pm)
DrPantzFunkley: i like the music, it's a nice change of pace (11:04pm)
DrPantzFunkley: Hi Dr Penny (11:04pm)
DrPantzFunkley: long time no chat ;p (11:04pm)
DrPantzFunkley: you are very welcome (11:04pm)
Dr. Penny: Hi. (11:04pm)
DrPantzFunkley: i'm with the guest, i am soooo tired of the zombies (11:05pm)
DrPantzFunkley: HOORAY K-Rob (11:05pm)
Karen Carpenter: UNHAND HER KrOB! (11:05pm)
Karen Carpenter: yes I diud (11:06pm)
DrPantzFunkley: fRop (11:06pm)
EARL: just play the mysterious island music repeatedly, that's why it exists.. (11:07pm)
DrPantzFunkley: i always thought that the technical difficulties were just a part of the show (11:09pm)
DrPantzFunkley: like some sort of schtick (11:09pm)
EARL: there's a picture to this show? (11:10pm)
Karen Carpenter: stop taking they re lighti8ng the olympic fire niw! (11:10pm)
vj pussycat: gimme a K (11:11pm)
DrPantzFunkley: haha (11:11pm)
DrPantzFunkley: lovely color bars (11:11pm)
Dr. Penny: Ug. I saw a zombie bumper sticker today. I was like, "Really?????" (11:11pm)
DrPantzFunkley: i haven't seen those in ages (11:11pm)
DrPantzFunkley: a zombie bumper sticker??? (11:11pm)
EARL: KrOB was a lot like Mr. Spock, there. Wow. (11:12pm)
DrPantzFunkley: i saw a bumper sticker that said, WWGFD? with a picture of a crowbar (11:12pm)
DrPantzFunkley: and i had to laugh (11:12pm)
DrPantzFunkley: i guess the bumper sticker read... not said (11:12pm)
vj pussycat: I had a similar incident today with a frog (11:13pm)
DrPantzFunkley: you should use the color bar as this episodes podcast image (11:14pm)
DrPantzFunkley: Dr Hal - is it true that cockroaches can still mate up to a week after having their heads cut off? (11:14pm)
DrPantzFunkley: and why were the insects so large during the pre-dinosaur Age of the Insects? (11:16pm)
Siskell & Ebert: Ask Dr Hal -- Tonight's Episode : How To Train Your Dinosaur ( 3-D ) ... A hapless young SubGenius who aspires to hunt dinosaurs becomes the unlikely friend of Dr Hal Robins, and learns there may be more to the creatures than he assumed. ( PG-99 : Gratuitous Extinction and Miscegenation ) (11:17pm)
Karen Carpenter: OK, the Olympic flame is lit now, you can ta (11:17pm)
Karen Carpenter: lk again (11:17pm)
Siskell & Ebert: Ask Dr Hal -- Tonight's Episode : Dr Hal Does Dallas -- In the throes of a mega-overdose on Ecstasy ( MMDA ), cocaine, and Viagra, Hal Robins tries to copulate everyone in Dallas. (11:17pm)
Siskell & Ebert: Ask Dr Hal -- Tonight's Episode : The Fantastic One --- Hal Robins gains superpowers after a cosmic radiation exposure and must use them to oppose the plans of his mortal enema, Puzzling Evidence. (11:18pm)
DrPantzFunkley: indeed - I will get my check in the mail ;p (11:18pm)
Siskell & Ebert: Ask Dr Hal -- Tonight's Episode : The Enema Below --- Pinks are causing Dr Hal Robins to suffer constipation, until K-Rob organizes a crack team of frogmen to administer a deep enema, with tragi-farcical consequences. (11:18pm)
DrPantzFunkley: why? (11:18pm)
DrPantzFunkley: ah (11:19pm)
EARL: WHY does the common cold exist, Dr, Hal... why?? (11:19pm)
Siskell & Ebert: It%u2019s actually quite a funny story once you get past all the tragic elements and the over-riding sense of doom. (11:20pm)
DrPantzFunkley: X-Day 17 (11:20pm)
DrPantzFunkley: july 1-6 (11:20pm)
DrPantzFunkley: hear hear (11:21pm)
Siskell & Ebert: Ask Dr Hal -- Tonight's Episode : The Seventh Joke -- A film by Ingmar Bergman -- Hal Robins seeks answers about life, death, and the existence of God as he plays chess against the Grim Reaper during the Black Plaque, a terrible time when people died of black spots on their teeths. (11:23pm)
Siskell & Ebert: Ask Dr Hal -- Tonight's Episode : Show War Z -- United SubGenius agent Hal Robins ( played by Brad Pitt ) traverses the world in a race against time to stop the Pink Zombie pandemic that is toppling armies and governments, and threatening to destroy humanity and SubGenity alike. (11:24pm)
EARL: Thank you, that gives me hope for this frightening virus. They KNEW on the original Star Trek how muey importante it is to eliminate this horrid malady. (11:25pm)
vj pussycat: spoiler alert (11:26pm)
DrPantzFunkley: mmm (11:28pm)
vj pussycat: i lived thru H1N1 (11:28pm)
DrPantzFunkley: i survived reagan (11:28pm)
Siskell & Ebert: Ask Dr Hal -- Tonight's Episode : Caligula and Messaline -- See The Show that no history book dared to tell! Starring Hal Robins as Calugula. Directed by: Nero (271 min.) (11:29pm)
vj pussycat: mel blanc's tomb says "that's all folks" (11:30pm)
vj pussycat: he's in the same cemetery as my grandma and two of my grandfaters (11:30pm)
EARL: How I desire this soup, now. Until the detailing of this reused water. Which is good, as I have no recourse for Won Ton soup, here. Mel Blanc was almost killed on the infamous Dead Man's curb on Sunset Blvd. (11:31pm)
EARL: Curve (11:31pm)
vj pussycat: higgs boson, eh (11:31pm)
vj pussycat: good old fashioned bong hits (11:32pm)
vj pussycat: talk like an egyptian (11:33pm)
vj pussycat: hack hack hack (11:33pm)
vj pussycat: that's my coughing sound (11:34pm)
vj pussycat: hck hck hck (11:34pm)
vj pussycat: k (11:34pm)
Siskell & Ebert: caca (11:35pm)
vj pussycat: cacao (11:35pm)
vj pussycat: gloucester (11:36pm)
Siskell & Ebert: you should be hung for murder of the english tongue (11:36pm)
vj pussycat: the naked guy (11:36pm)
vj pussycat: what are the issues of a skinbag mom? (11:37pm)
Dr. Penny: And what a well hung cock you have there. (11:37pm)
vj pussycat: botox (11:37pm)
Siskell & Ebert: Ask Dr Hal -- Tonight's Episode : The Hunger Shows -- Twice the laughs, half the calories : Dr Hal Robins wins the lottery to represent District 9 in the 75th annual Showdown. The prize : A MacDonald's Hamburger, a side-order of fries, and Super-Size Diet Coke ! Starring Dean Gulberry, Phil Mahooters. (11:38pm)
Siskell & Ebert: Phil Mahooters (11:38pm)
vj pussycat: not a super-size diet coke?! (11:39pm)
Siskell & Ebert: You've gone too far this time, Hal -- off the reservation, over the edge, beyond the point of no return. I can't protect you. You're on you own. Good luck, kid. If you're looking for the truth, it's in the Radiation Zone. You can come back anytime... (11:40pm)
vj pussycat: you were high (11:40pm)
DrPantzFunkley: did somebody mention pantz? (11:40pm)
vj pussycat: sparkly (11:40pm)
DrPantzFunkley: hey good looking what ya got cooking? (11:41pm)
Siskell & Ebert: Wow ! Nice protracted Tit Shot at 11:40 pm -- Thanks Dr Hal ! I needed that ! (11:42pm)
vj pussycat: people are fucking nuts (11:44pm)
EARL: I'm entertained. As is God. (11:45pm)
vj pussycat: i thought i was talking to myself (11:45pm)
EARL: So did God, That's what started it. (11:45pm)
vj pussycat: god damn it (11:46pm)
EARL: damn which? (11:46pm)
vj pussycat: it! (11:46pm)
EARL: Oh, the "It" that You started, hm?? (11:46pm)
vj pussycat: which it? (11:47pm)
EARL: But You don' even remember. (11:47pm)
GOD: Damn You All (11:47pm)
EARL: Because you're a cat, at the moment. (11:47pm)
vj pussycat: i'll have to scroll back (11:48pm)
EARL: So you don't recall ever starting "It" and that's why this God debate is so heated. Yes, Scroll back! (11:49pm)
vj pussycat: to what time please (11:49pm)
EARL: Scroll back, but it will be seemingly lost, already, in symbols and myth. (11:50pm)
EARL: hm. scroll back to the Book of Job. (11:50pm)
vj pussycat: i don't want a job (11:50pm)
EARL: that'll explain my horrid, horrid cold. (11:50pm)
EARL: Well, some jobs ar fun, as we know! Can't believe i wrote that. I am sick. (11:51pm)
EARL: I should be silent, as God often seems to be. (11:52pm)
vj pussycat: yes, it appears the germs are altering molecules (11:52pm)
EARL: Ben hur music!!!! ha ha ha!!! (11:52pm)
vj pussycat: that's because there is no god (11:52pm)
GOD: Then who am I? (11:53pm)
EARL: Well, yet, here is the music for 1956's Ben Hur, a William Wyler Production! How do you explain that?? (11:53pm)
vj pussycat: you're asking me? (11:53pm)
vj pussycat: god's having an identity crisis (11:54pm)
DrPantzFunkley: oh god you devil (11:54pm)
EARL: Yeah, God, who are you? I was just discussing Ben Hur in my dilierium the other day with the host of this very program. It's incredible. (11:54pm)
DrPantzFunkley: written by a civil war general, no fooling (11:55pm)
EARL: Great music in Ben Hur, by that greek guy. (11:56pm)
EARL: Yeah, Lew Wallace wrote that. He was feelin' guilty. (11:56pm)
EARL: tag, You're It! (11:57pm)
EARL: where are these photos, on facefuck? (11:57pm)
EARL: can't believe I wrote that. sorry. (11:58pm)
Dr. Penny: "He fills his hands with lightening bolts. He hurls each at its target. The thunder announces his presence; the storm announces his indignant anger." -- Job 36:32-33 (NLT) (11:58pm)
EARL: where are these images? (11:59pm)
EARL: Wwwwwwatchin' all the girls go by-yyyyyyyyy. (11:59pm)
EARL: The Most Happy Fella. (11:59pm)
Dr. Penny: Booooooooooobies!!!!!!!!!! (11:59pm)
EARL: By Burrows and the other guy who wrote musicals with him. (12:00am)
EARL: "Ya can;t go to jail for what yer' thinkin' " (12:01am)
Karen Carpenter: all tagged (12:02am)
EARL: on fadebook? (12:03am)
vj pussycat: apparently so (12:03am)
vj pussycat: i can't look. i'm on fb hiatus (12:04am)
EARL: Kicked off, hm? (12:04am)
vj pussycat: kicked myself off the the timesuck (12:05am)
vj pussycat: i used it a few days ago to post some music by recently departed friend (12:05am)
vj pussycat: ok i looked. y'all are having too much fun (12:08am)
vj pussycat: too many sugar-free gummi worms (12:11am)
Karen Carpenter: Some of my best friends are Good Vegetarians (12:13am)
Dr. Penny: I still need meat cooking lessons. (12:14am)
Dr. Penny: Thank goodness other around me are so good at it. (12:16am)
vj pussycat: and for beef jerky (12:16am)
vj pussycat: please sing daisy (12:24am)
vj pussycat: yes chorus is good. all slow like (12:28am)
Karen Carpenter: there is a youtube of hgal singing daisy during a space scien ce report at 12 galaxies (12:28am)
vj pussycat: !!!!!! (12:28am)
vj pussycat: very good!!! (12:29am)
vj pussycat: now open the pod bay doors (12:29am)
vj pussycat: i will look for it (12:30am)
Karen Carpenter: best call all night (1:07am)
vj pussycat: y'all are going to have to talk about butt plugs (1:09am)
Karen Carpenter: thank you for returning my wife NIB. Your account will be credited within 30 days. (1:40am)
rape-a-toire: dj nurse annabella (3:58am)
rape-a-toire: where ru!? (3:59am)
nurse annabella: rite here! lava lampz coming up next!! (4:00am)
Trinity: Tuned in!!! Lamp is on!!!:) (4:00am)

Where Hal comes to the conclusion that the fixie-riding, cassette-tape publishing, artisanal everything, skinny pants-wearing, ironic beard set were actually quite lovely people compared to Aspergers's Ayn Rand accolyte Stanford graduates that are now gracing the neighborhood.

Recorded in the Studios of Love, lovingly. By our own lovely Dr. Hal.

Side effects may include a nervous system, Walter Mitty Syndrome, jimmy legs and Kenny G.

They'll be really sad if you do.


Chatroom History
January 10, 2014 10:00pm - 1:30am

nobodyouwantoknow: Dr Hal Robins-- Helping SubGenii get laid since 1912. (10:57pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Ah, yes. The same old tropes, so perfunctorily dropped into The Show like so many duck turds quacking up the place. Of course, it is a true thing, that most Show listeners will die no matter what Dr Hal says or does. (10:58pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Dr Hal is all about the Horizontal Hula, interspersed with predictable gratuitous intellection. As we all know, Hal would if he could and will. Hal-Hinkyness is a burgeoning market with Polyamour, Show as Folk, and Hal%u2019s Dino-Porn, which is some kind of modernized invariant of Science Mystery Theater 3000 (10:58pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: I had PROTECTED SEX with The Show, and I still got syphillis, gonorrhea, hepatitis, and a yeast infoection. Now I am in quarantine. Thanks lots, Show. At least there are several other Listeners here with me. And somehow, for some inexplicable reason, we still love you, Show... Fuck you anyway, again and again. (10:59pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Dear Mr Show -- Your zipper is down and your haha is hanging out.... but it is NOT funny. (10:59pm)
Cheese Guevera: Acabei de assistir o filme, muito bom!!!!,e vc está de parabéns daniel por postar esse filme digno,e de postar as partes que não passaram na globo, muito obrigado mesmo espero que poste mais rsrs valeu mesmo cara ficou muito bom.obrigado amigo. A base americana de Foster lança uma nave para realizar testes atmosféricos. Após perder contato com a Terra, a nave explode sem deixar pistas. (11:00pm)
Cheese Guevera: Foster lança uma nave para realizar testes atmosféricos. Após perder contato com a Terra, a nave explode sem deixar pistas. Ninguém sabe o que está acontecendo até um satélite cair, literalmente em chamas do céu. Nações do mundo inteiro começam a pesquisar e descobrem que o pior está por vir: explosões solares num nível jamais registrado estão lançando partículas de fogo direto para a Terra. (11:00pm)
Cheese Guevera: Foster lança uma nave para realizar testes atmosféricos. Após perder contato com a Terra, a nave explode sem deixar pistas. Ninguém sabe o que está acontecendo até um satélite cair, literalmente em chamas do céu. Nações do mundo inteiro começam a pesquisar e descobrem que o pior está por vir: explosões solares num nível jamais registrado estão lançando partículas de fogo direto para a Terra. (11:00pm)
J.P. Morgan: Jobless Listeners, Keep Going. We can%u2019t take care of our own. (11:02pm)
The Thing: Now I am The Show (11:02pm)
Siskel & Ebert: Two thumbs up your colon! (11:06pm)
Edward Snowden: This Site is Banned by NSA, YouTube, FEMA, and Google ! Just send an email and we'll send you a secret link for a Free Sample ! (11:08pm)
Larry Harvey: Keep talking about me, please (11:09pm)
Bill Shakespeare: This show's script is almost as brilliant as Plan 9 From Outer Space ! Good work, lads ! (11:21pm)
Bill Shakespeare: Puzzling Evidence is the living stuff of history ! Too bad his "pussev@gmail" address doesnt connect in reality (11:24pm)
Carl Jung: Your Normalcy Bias bores me mortally. Please depart away from Ask Dr Hal immediately. This is not a support group. Your worthless idiocy does not qualify you even as a Show-slave -- please eat yourself, useless one. Do not respond or reply to this comment : your opinion has already been rejected. (11:25pm)
Carl Jung: rejected. (11:25pm)
John Baptista: Anyone who receives the Word from the Temple of Dr Hal will be born again and those who make false witness will walk naked as a thief. They will carry no name and their mouths will be as the mouths of the beast, for they will sit with the spirit of demons and lie with the frogs (11:28pm)
John Baptista: Trapp Family (11:29pm)

In which Dr. Hal plays that always entertaining game with Swedish Bands of the 70's.


Chatroom History
January 3, 2014 10:00pm - 1:30am

nobodyouwantoknow: Ask Dr Hal -- Winner of the 2013 Award for Excellence in Braincasting ( Get used to it ). Many hysterians agree that the Golden Age of SubGenius began in 1998, when population growth was stabilized by the arrival of the X-ists on June 9, 2015. (11:10pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: During this New Age of Twilightenment, society restructured itself in accordance with new priorities : Entertainment, Sex, and Food. (11:11pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: This trenchant intertwining of humor and bathos was the crown of SubGenius achievement, for without Entertainment, we are no better than animals. (11:11pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: And so, in the year 1999, humanity's dream of flying cars and Pills was realized at long last -- but it didn't last long. (11:11pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: The Overlords from Planet Zyzyx arrived in 2014, defeated the X-ists, slaughtered most of the population, and enslaved the rest. End transmission. (11:11pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Ask Dr Hal : Flush with the ABCs of Listening Pleasure -- A-Always B-Better C-Cacapoopoonanadoodooboomboom (11:12pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Ask Dr Hal FAQs Q. - Does The ADH Show wear panties ? A. - Always, even in the bath (11:13pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Ask Dr Hal FAQs --- Q. - Is The Show male or female ? A. - The Show is Proto-Sexual. It has not yet determinated the gender of its corpus delecti, nor its orientation. At this time, however, it appears to be pointing due North. (11:14pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: SHOW RECALL -- Wal-Mart Stores has recalled the Ask Dr Hal Show from its stores after tests found traces of other shows, the company said Thursday, after authorities said it contained Puzzling Evidence and artificial jokes. Wal-Mart will reimburse customers who bought the Show, a spokeswoman told Radio Valencia. (11:16pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: a spokeswoman told Radio Valencia. (11:16pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: The Plight of The Church of the SubGenius -- The Church of the SubGenius is sinking under the weight of trillions of dollars of profit it can never spend and stays afloat by frantically donating about $2 billion a day to the Federal government under the happy illusion that we were all going to enter an age of prosperity with unfettered capitalism. (11:19pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: all going to enter an age of prosperity with unfettered capitalism.We continue to be a country consumed by happy talk and happy thoughts. (11:20pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: We Genii embrace the illusion of inevitable progress, personal success, rising prosperity, and hyper-superiority. Reality is not considered an impediment to the fulfillment of our desire for Slack. (11:20pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: SubGenii perpetuate a state of permanent infantilism or childishness that serves to widen the gap between illusion and reality, thus hastening the demise of this fake civilization and its culmination on X-Day 1998, which looms ever-nearer to thee, my Dobbs, ye who who promises us revenge, ammoral renewal, and new glory. (11:20pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: revenge, ammoral renewal, and new glory. (11:20pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: A furious and sustained backlash by a betrayed and angry populace, unprepared intellectually, emotionally and psychologically for collapse, will usher America into a new pink age ruled by cabal of proto-fascist misfits, (11:21pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: from Christo-Judaic demagogues to loudmouth talk show hosts such as Dr Hal RObins, whom today we naïvely dismiss as a buffoon, but later will find a vast army of psychophantic followers who find solace and succor in his promises of revenge and Frop. (11:21pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: And as in all totalitarian societies, those who do not pay fealty to the illusions imposed by the SubGenii will become the outcasts, the persecuted, the enslaved. (11:21pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Even in the face of catastrophe, SubGenius culture continues to assure us that if we close our eyes and visualize what we want, if we have faith in Bob, if we tell Bob that we believe in his miracles, if we tap into our inner Slack, our lives will be harmonious and complete. (11:22pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: This magical thinking turns worthless mortgages and debt into wealth. It turns the destruction of our manufacturing base into a growth industry. (11:22pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: It turns alienation and anxiety into a cheerful non-conformity. It turns a nation that wages illegal wars and administers offshore penal colonies where it openly practices torture into the greatest democracy on earth. (11:22pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: This is pure, brilliant SubGenius logic, ineluctable and omnipotent. This is the Truth of Dr Hal! (11:22pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: This Show is DEEP, like... a black hole. It's THICK, too, like a brick made of fog, if'n you know what I mean... This Show commands Respect, like a big mean dog, but it's nothing that a cheap hot dog won't change into slobbering best friend. (11:26pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: It does need a paint job, however, perhaps calm blue. I'm being literal in this instance, but that's negotiable. The sex is gratuitous. (11:26pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: And there's a gold mine in the safe --and it's not the kind of cash you report if it gets stolen. The combination is 22 left, 14 right, 34 left. I ran a background check on The Show, and it came up clean, so maybe we can trust it to help us out. Heh heh heh... (11:27pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: I'm working on a sweet deal: a trade-in, plus cash -- and the take from the safe... Follow my thinking here for a minute, if you haven't got shit in your ears. (11:27pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Just wait a few more days; the payroll gets delivered Friday noon. The security camera is no problem, and the rent-a-guard can be accidented by divine providence -- perfectly legal, and the right thing to do -- (11:27pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: but it ain't like that... actually, I worship The Show, but it's nothing personal. We were intimate, yes, but the Dog came between us. I love you, Show... (11:27pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: I'm just trying to help... Please forgive me... Don't forsake me, O my darling... I need you so badly... I want to have your baby, several of them... Somebody help me, please! (11:28pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: The Listener in the Shadows --- Ask Dr Hal ( AKA The Show ) is a 2-legged dog that's always trying to hump my ears, singularly and serially, simultaneously. (11:30pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: But I need it, and the double, triple & quadruple lives are necessary in order to hear all the shows. In the beginning, I was young at the time, but it was strictly for medicinal purposes, I promise. (11:30pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: I nearly went broke trying to convince myself it was destiny, but in those good old days I truly believed in The Show, and managed to fool myself accordingly. (11:30pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Now I know it's a Big Lie, but was it really well worth the risk? The emotional rescue was incredibly profitable as well, albeit sexless and discounted for wholesale multilevel remarketing. I have yet to resolve the issue. SOmebody help me, please! (11:31pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: I beg you, please, give me a reason to leave you. I would prefer it my way, of course, but you may insist on doing so in your own modus operandi. (11:31pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: You almost have me convinced, and your loyalty is unquestioned, but who's asking? Trust me, or not, I'll understand. Commendations, a pay raise, and promotion are in order in any eventuality. (11:31pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: By The Golden Gun of Rambo, O Lord of Shows, we shall prevail, even though it's none of our dirty evil business ! The Show shall inherit the Earth, if only it can avoid going to war with itself. Sign me, The Listner in the Shadows (11:32pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Boing ! (11:35pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: squanktwaddle (11:39pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Pete Goldie says : Science gets wholesale returns of conjecture out of a trifling investment of fact. (11:39pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: So truee, re: "cave men" -- just try to find a cave -- ain't happening (11:41pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: TSA = Taking Scissors Away ... Taking Security Away ... Taste Socialism, Asshole ... Tawdry Strip Act ... Taxpayer Supported Assault ... Teaching Submission to Americans ... Terrorist Support Agency ... Testicle Searchers of America ... The Sexual Assailants ... (11:42pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: The Soviet America ... They Sexually Assault ... They%u2019ll Search Anyone ... Thigh Strokers Anonymous ... Thirty Second Assault ... Three Stooges Association ... Turd Sucking Assholes ... Toddlers Sexually Assaulted ... (11:42pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Too Stupid for Arby%u2019s ... Totalitarian Security Agents ... Totally Screwing Americans ... Totally Senseless Aggression ... Touch Some Ass ... Touch Strangers%u2019 Asses ... (11:42pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Touchin', Squeezin', Arrestin' ... Touching Sensitive Areas ... Tough Shit, America! ... Trained Sodomy Adminstrators ... (11:43pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Trampling Servile Americans ... Trampling Several Amendments ... Tremendously Stupendous Arrogance ... True Sexual Assault ... Totally Sociopathic Assholes ... (11:44pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Keep your damned Show off my Guns, or I might have to start confiscating your radio station. (11:45pm)
Me: will pick up krob at ten thirty am SAT morn (12:07am)
Me: Traintown in the 10:30 morning (12:09am)
Me: lock you (12:11am)
Me: Don't read the chat book. Just yak about box locking. (12:13am)
nobodyouwantoknow: According to a report issued yesterday by the Freudian Anal-Obssessive Study Group ( a special joint committee appointed by the American Psychiatric Association and the California Proctology Council ), Colonic analysis of Dr Hal has produced a diagnostic image ( albeit obviously photoshopped by rank amateurs with mediocre talent ) : a bobble-head buffoon spewing doggerel and drivel. (12:16am)
nobodyouwantoknow: ( albeit obviously photoshopped by rank amateurs with mediocre talent ) : a bobble-head buffoon spewing doggerel and drivel. (12:16am)
nobodyouwantoknow: The report concludes : If you disagree with this considered opinion, you are well advised to fuque off to a gay bar now and ejaculate away whatever is left of your pathetic excuse for a life and soul. (12:16am)
Me: chatting listing (12:17am)
Him: thanks for all of them (12:18am)
Listner: me too (12:18am)
nobodyouwantoknow: chatting listlessly, thankless for all of it. (12:18am)
Listner: Bring packs. Hurry up. Bring pacs (12:19am)
nobodyouwantoknow: Floss me, you fool ! (12:20am)
Key: hide me....heee heee (12:20am)
nobodyouwantoknow: Warning ! Ask Dr Hal involves a multiplicity of circular scenarios and the wager of your head versus Wotan and company. Such archaeo-psychology requires updated engrams, procedures, and meta-materials to compensate for the aberrated ethnic technophilia that arises from the virtual hypothalamic Abyss, as predicated by your participatory interpolation of the harmonic orientations exuded by The Show. (12:21am)
nobodyouwantoknow: hypothalamic Abyss, as predicated by your participatory interpolation of the harmonic orientations exuded by The Show. (12:21am)

Daly City, to be precise.

Chatroom History
December 27, 2013 10:00pm - 1:30am

nobodyouwantoknow: Warning! You're using an old stable version of AskDrhal (2.21), while we offer a newer version which contains important security fixes. (10:20pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: We encourage you to download the newer version linked in the download box at the right to be safe from known vulnerabilities and be able to use the newest features in a stable Show release. (10:20pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: This Show paved the way for future classics. (10:21pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: I download each and every Ask Dr Hal broadcast from the Radio Valencia archives and play it back all day, every day until the next Friday. But Im not addicted. I do it for medicinal purposes. Somebody hep me, please! (10:21pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Dry Show is for squids (10:21pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: I thought this Show sucked when I was a kid, and not a lot has changed...except that I now love the Show! Holy caca, this is way mo' better than the third Transformers movie. (10:22pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Come One, Come All to DinoSeXXX.com : Adorable ABelisaurus... Adulterous Abrosaurus... All Holes Acrocanthosaurus... Amateur Adasaurus... Amputee Aegyptosaurus... Anal Aepisaurus... Anal Agathaumas... Anime Agilisaurus... Ass-to-mouth Alamosaurus... (10:28pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Come One, Come All to DinoSeXXX.com : Babe Bactrosaurus... Babysitter Bagaceratops... Ball Licking Bahariasaurus... Banging Bainoceratops... Bathing Balochisaurus... Beauteous Bambiraptor... Baotianmansaurus Beaver... Bedroom Barapasaurus... Bend Over Barilium... Best Friend Barosaurus... Big Natural Bathygnathus ... Bikini Basutodon... (10:34pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Dr Hal Enterprises LLC is proud to announce the issuance of Chinese Patent # 23,945,442 for his invention : Novel gynecological electric heating fumigation-washing device with transparent conductive layer structure of copper indium gallium selenide thin-film battery and light energy anti-reflection sheet provided with metal nano-particle array and manufacturing method thereof. Serious investor inquiries are invited. (10:36pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: and light energy anti-reflection sheet provided with metal nano-particle array and manufacturing method thereof. Serious investor inquiries are invited. (10:36pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Once again, Irony raises its circumcised head, in an etymological fashion, when we note that these Earthly representatives of the Dero Empire are called... SubGenius. We do nay have to make it up. It is what it is , and inadverant truth-in-advertising, AKA Stupid. (10:37pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Stupid is inately interesting in and of itself insofar as stupid people ( e.g., Subgenii ) lack even the narrowest dimensions of interest and are of no interest. Stupid just flat lines with marvelous consistency and continuity. Unfortunately, however, the funnier and more ridiculously horrific that dear Dr Hal may appear to be, the more dangerous he and his audience become. (10:37pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: horrific that dear Dr Hal may appear to be, the more dangerous he and his audience become. And that is a True Thing. And whenever Truth manifests, trouble follows. (10:37pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: The attendant agony or ecstasy are mere byproducts of association with said Truth. indeed, the sappy sop of sanitized biopic whitewashing over his crimes against humanity -- in particular, his attempted assassination of the American tongue -- are disproportionate to the artisistic relevance of his rudimentary eloquence. O mickle woe ! How much longer must we endure The Show ? (10:38pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: are disproportionate to the artisistic relevance of his rudimentary eloquence. O mickle woe ! How much longer must we endure The Show ? (10:38pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: The genetic schematics are hopelessly lost in a confused theorem of symptomatic quantum entanglement being promoted as causal -- inquiry and treatment requires no such complexity, however, and Dr Hal knows that perfectly well -- (10:38pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: -- but how can he play God unless his procedures mystify the patient listeners who await his expectorations with poignant patience ? Alas, it is inutterably unbearable, and difficult even to write about. I die now... (10:38pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: This Show actually is a mild form of epileptic type I diabetes (10:43pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: arning ! Ask Dr Hal induces remote schizoidal epilepto-narcosis ( RSEN ), which principle violates the Non-Inference Act of 2006. If you or a loved one have suffered bouts of RSEN, you may be entitled to compensation ! Contact the San Francisco District Attorney Office for more information : Call 911-9119 now ! (10:48pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: The Dr Hal Clinic now offers Non-Surgical Foreskin Restoration ! Complimentary Free Anaesthesia ! One Hour Outpatient Service ! Satisfaction Guaranteed ! We accept Obamacare and Foodstamps ! (10:51pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: BUY SHOW BONDS -- Food- Guns - Planes - Tanks - Ships -- QUICK ! Support our $2 million dollar Show Bond Campaign ! Send your donation via PayPal or Bitcoin to drhal@askdrhal.com (10:52pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Show Troopers ! Follow Dr Hal ! Listening to Dr Hal guarantees Citizenship ! Includes free Obamacare ! Listen or Die ! Go ! Go ! Go ! Keep moving ! (10:53pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Hey buddy, got $20 for a bottle of coffee, asshole ? (10:54pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Hey buddy, are you deaf? Gimme $20 for a bottle of coffee, dammit ! (10:58pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Im not a religious man, but I plan to be someday. It seems like the right thing to do, like instinct, like Dr Hal, almost a saint, albeit degenerated to the point of dissolution. (11:00pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Almost an angel, though he can nay fly. God-like, but with real-life problems : partially pregnant, righteously wronged, severely halitotic, partially an asshole, occasionally an ax-murderer.. (11:01pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: a Messenger from the Gods, secretly a SubGenius... And he desperately needs a haircut and a bra. Just amazing... I cry now... (11:01pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Almost a Show... no batteries, just an ever-ready assault on my sensibilities... Something like -- how shall I put it ? Ahhh : The Show of Dorian Gray... (11:02pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: But wet and smelly, plus a klystron for giga-quick cooking, like Death warmed over against all odds and the silly laws of physigues. Eeek ! Wow ! Woof ! Oooo ! (11:02pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Ooops! That was premature... sorry ! Gosh ! Properly channeled, that energy could propel the Subgenius race out of the Universe ! Too late... too bad... so sad... Hahaha ! I mean, uhhh... fabulous ! Me so happy ! Love you long time, Show ! (11:05pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Damn you, you ve broken my heart for the last time! I thought you were a professional of some kind. What are you doing here ? Get away from that equipment ! Give me that trust fund ! In case of emergency, eat recycled food -- its good for you ! (11:06pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Listening to Dr Hal is a worrisome test of my apathy, aggravating my bored arousal, tending to control my relaxed angst even against my very desirous wishes, and haplessly addicting me to a sordid sort of love admixed with hopeless happiness. (11:07pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: The free oxytocin certainly helps ameliorate my amorous affections, but the complimentary complementary dosages of endorphin, dopamine, adrenalin and beta-phenethylamine are inadequate. Therefore, I protest ! Gimme pills ! Mo' pills ! (11:07pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: All this talk confuses me... Im waiting for the comic book version of Ask Dr Hal (11:17pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: I have been instructed to instruct you to instruct me with regard to your lack of regard for my needful things : gimme Bob ! Or love me, or kill me -- I dont care which ! Do both ! (11:18pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Dear Dr Hal -- As your court-appointed public defender, I advise you to plead guilty to the lesser charge of involuntary manslughter of the English tongue (11:20pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Im sure Rene Guenon would agree with you, hal (11:23pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: if only he could, being dead as he is... (11:23pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Now I know it -- I necromanced Rene Guenon -- he said yes, and says, "Read The Reign of Quantity" (11:35pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Frivolous irrelevance, but only mildly mind-changing. What else have you got ? You seem like a sensible bunch of super-beings, but Im just not impressed yet ... (11:35pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: For Whom the Show Tolls -- PERCHANCE he for whom this Show tolls may be so silly, as that he knows not it tolls for him; and perchance Dr Hal may think myself so much better than I am, as that they who are about him, and see his state, may have caused it to joke for him, and I know not that. (11:37pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: The Show is subgenius, universal, so are all its actions; all that it does belongs to all. When sThe Show baptizes a Pink, that action concerns Dr Hal; for that Pink is thereby connected to that body which is Hal's head too, and ingrafted into that body whereof he is a member. (11:37pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: And when the Show buries a man, that action concerns Hal: all Subgeni are of one author; when one man dies, one chapter is not torn out of the book, but translated into a better language, another Show... (11:37pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Panic In The year Zero -- http://bit.ly/1lnbPbs (11:44pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: youtube-dot-com/watch?v=hSGEiXO5894 (11:45pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Turba philos. -- one of my favorite tomes... (11:51pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: According to a report issued yesterday by the Freudian Anal-Obssessive Study Group ( a special joint committee appointed by the American Psychiatric Association and the California Proctology Council ), Colonic analysis of Dr Hal has produced a diagnostic image ( albeit obviously photoshopped by rank amateurs with mediocre talent ) : a bobble-head buffoon spewing doggerel and drivel. (11:58pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: photoshopped by rank amateurs with mediocre talent ) : a bobble-head buffoon spewing doggerel and drivel. (11:58pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: The report concludes : If you disagree with this considered opinion, you are well advised to fuque off to a gay bar now and ejaculate away whatever is left of your pathetic excuse for a life and soul. (11:58pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Hal Robins' scientistic declamations can scarcely be too much admired, being as they are such pleasant assertions of the dialectic modus operandi and reflective of that unelected process of quantification that predeterminates the tonus of our premodern times. (11:59pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: And yet his self-styled popularization has the hypothetical result of depriving us, we, the listeners, his audience, of the smallest possibility of communication with any other order of reality, let alone The Show, if only because he will not ( cannot? ) answer the Phone ! (11:59pm)

Not to be overshadowed by the ever more commercialized SubGenius XDaymas, Dr. Hal and his guests make a mockery of all that is good and true in this Bobforsaken world.

Chatroom History
December 20, 2013 10:00pm - 1:30am

Dr. Penny: You're coming through loud & clear in the stream. (10:05pm)
Karen Carpenter: ok, 2nd time playing Invisible City is better audio (10:07pm)
Karen Carpenter: as always, first adjust your headphone (10:07pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Dr Hal Show is an acoustic teat with the intellectual integrity of silicone. Nipple not included. (10:51pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Dr Hal tells his stories with imperturbable sang froid, in a dry manner, and with perfect naturalness and simplicity. He speaks as a man of the world, without circumlocution; his adventures are numerous and perhaps singular, but only such as might be expected to happen to a man of so much experience. A smile never traverses his face as he relates the least credible of his tales, which the less intimate of his acquaintances began in time to think he means to be taken seriously. In short, so strangely entertaining are both manner and matter of his narratives, that Dr Hal's stpries have became a by-word among a host of appreciative acquaintances. (10:52pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: much experience. A smile never traverses his face as he relates the least credible of his tales, which the less intimate of his acquaintances began in time to think he means to be taken seriously. In short, so strangely entertaining are both manner and matter of his narratives, that Dr Hal's stpries have became a by-word among a host of appreciative acquaintances. (10:53pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: that Dr Hal's stories have became a by-word among a host of appreciative acquaintances. (10:54pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Men, removing unwanted Butt-hair now is as easy as putting on panties! The Dr Hal Gluteal Depilation System works miracles where all else fails ! Free 30 day trial ! (10:55pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: The Dr Hal Shop now offers anatomically accurate pantyhose that display your ass as the true anatomical masterpiece it is. Hole not included. (10:55pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: The Dr Hal Shop now offers muscle-enhanced t-shirts.. Adenosine TriPhosphate not included. (10:56pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Warning ! This program contains sounds to which you should not micturate. Please relieve yourself before proceeding. Radio Valencia is not responsible for soiled apparel. (10:56pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: We, the undersigned, as true believers in the profit, do most solemnly affirm, that all the adventures of our friend Dr Hal RObins, in whatever country they may lie, are positive and simple facts. And, as we have been believed, whose adventures are tenfold more wonderful, so do we hope all true believers will give him their full faith and credence. GULLIVER. x SINBAD. x ALADDIN. (10:57pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: so do we hope all true believers will give him their full faith and credence. GULLIVER. x SINBAD. x ALADDIN. (10:57pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Fake Sign Language Interpretation of Ask Dr Hal is both illegal and immoral . It is also irrelevant according to the international rules of disengagement; such is the passion of Dr Hal, and that is the story behind the largest breach of Show security in world history. (10:58pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Bottom line: Net investment in The Show down because there%u2019s no remand. And there%u2019s no remand because listenership is high, the wages of sin are flat, outcomes are rising and risable, and households are still digging out from the Great Quake of 2014 (10:59pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Now you can be as funny as Pete Goldie ! Here are ALL of his jokes : Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi (11:02pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: 2000 pounds of Chinese Soup = Won ton (11:03pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope (11:03pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Half a large intestine = 1 semicolon (11:03pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Shortest distance between two jokes - a straight line (11:03pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: 453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake (11:03pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: 1 million microphones = 1 megaphone (11:04pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: 1 million bicycles = 1 megacycle (11:04pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: 1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche (11:04pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: 8 nickels = 2 paradigms (11:04pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Two physicians = 1 paradox (11:04pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: 2 monograms = 1 diagram (11:05pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: 2 wharves = 1 paradox (11:05pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: And that's all he wrote. Now you're as funny as Pete Goldie (11:05pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: My pet Candiru desires your urethra (11:08pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: 5-hydroxy DMT is NOT fun and not worth the bother. Salvia divinorum is similar in effect and poses no dangers. (11:09pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: It is NOT related to MDS, you poseur ! (11:10pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: MDA (11:10pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: you poseur (11:10pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Dr Hal -- Guilty or Innocent ? It's all a matter of timing on The Show ! At the end of the night, when he is all alone in the limelight, all that remains is The Show, the great Unknown. (11:11pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: His Truth is wondrously personal, but closely isolated from the friendship of hominids, pink, subgenius, or simian. (11:11pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Disfunctional perhaps, but bearing the subtly menacing gift of enemas. None dare call it innocence. Can you believe it ? (11:11pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Any misinterpretation could be understood as prima facie circumstantial evidence of farcicality rendered honorable. (11:12pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: A duplicitous ruling could be classified as Top Secret; if it were otherwise, the ensuing result would produce a novel codification of premeditated falsity, and all the anonymous victims of his justification. (11:12pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: The long walk upon the cursed Earth, long-stricken from memory, is so saddening, the theme music barely does justice to the budget. (11:12pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: We shall see the results soon enough, as if required by law. The necessary authority has been revoked, and only Love remains... And cannibalism... (11:12pm)
Dr. Penny: The Ask Dr. Hal Show = truly brilliant entertainment (11:13pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: glabrous gibberish (11:14pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: It's like he's known us all of our lives ! (11:15pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Puerile piratry or proesy and patois, peppered with plagiarized paraphraseology (11:16pm)
Dr. Penny: and = perfect, beautiful religious doctrine. (11:18pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: This show is one big prolonged fart joke -- without a punch line (11:23pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: it needs a match (11:28pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: and more methane (11:29pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: and an anterior orifice (11:29pm)
Karen Carpenter: please return Sarah NIB with all accessories unopened (12:04am)
Zygote the Zetguest: Stalk this (12:12am)
Zygote the Zetguest: Nature this, Bod (12:13am)
Chuck Dr Hull: This show is retards (12:14am)
Chuck Dr Hull: Why is parking hard? (12:14am)
ClockStopper: We hate the fruited plane! (12:16am)
ClockStopper: Where nis the (12:17am)
ClockStopper: Now: Where is the Mo Be Us? (12:19am)
Little Jesus: I was in the first Bil;ly Jack Movie. Nowthe director is here with us... (12:20am)
Karen Carpenter: KrOB reads my mind with reve3rb onSarah (12:42am)
Your Friehdn: Yes u dont!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (12:45am)

In which Dr. Hal uses guile, stealth and overwhelming force in a hostile situation to get out of a timeshare sales pitch.


Chatroom History
December 13, 2013 10:00pm - 1:30am

nobodyouwantoknow: The Ask Dr Hal Show is the soundtrack of my life, but with no volume control.... (11:06pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Dr Hal Feedes The Hungry -- An Olde Irishe Tale And fa Wilferf biscop on faare feode godcunde lare Iserde, nallaes f aet an f aette fram iermSum ecre niSerunga ac swelce eac fram fasm manfullan waele hwilwendlicre forwyrde generede. Forfon f rim gearum air his cyme on fa msegSe fast fer nsenig regn on f aim stowum com and fanon se grimmesta hungor faet folc waes waicende and hie mid arleasre cwale fielde wseron. past is to tacne : secgaj menn fsette oft feowertig manna oje fiftig samod, Ja e mid y hungre gewsecte waaron, ast hie earmlice be handum namon and ealle atgaedere of saes of re ut feollon and woldon hie selfe e offiellan oe adrencean. And y selfan daege e seo Jeod Cristes geleafan onfeng and fulluhte, a astag and com smolt regn and micel and genyhtsum, and a land greowon and blostmedon and aefter com god gear and waestmberende. And swa awurpon Ja ealdan dysignesse and deofolgield onscunedon and ealra hiera heortan and Hchaman wynsumedon on jone libbendan God and one ongeaton se e so God is, and faet hie selfe wseron ge on fasm nearrum godum ge on aem uterrum mid heofonlice giefe geweligode. (11:07pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Dr Hal Sexes The Dinosaurs -- An Olde Irish Tale -- Forfon f rim gearum air his cyme on fa msegSe fast fer nsenig regn on f aim stowum com and fanon se grimmesta hungor faet folc waes waicende and hie mid arleasre cwale fielde wseron. past is to tacne : secgaj menn fsette oft feowertig manna oje fiftig samod, Ja e mid y hungre gewsecte waaron, ast hie earmlice be handum namon and ealle atgaedere of saes of re ut feollon and woldon hie selfe e offiellan oe adrencean. And y selfan daege e seo Jeod Cristes geleafan onfeng and fulluhte, a astag and com smolt regn and micel and genyhtsum, and a land greowon and blostmedon and aefter com god gear and waestmberende. And swa awurpon Ja ealdan dysignesse and deofolgield onscunedon and ealra hiera heortan and Hchaman wynsumedon on jone libbendan God and one ongeaton se e so God is, and faet hie selfe wseron ge on fasm nearrum godum ge on aem uterrum mid heofonlice giefe geweligode. (11:07pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: I figured out what's wrong with Ask Dr Hal -- it / he has Shaken Show Syndrome -- rattled brains that already are addle-pated ... so sad, so sad... where are The Shows of yesteryear, so clever, so smart, so funny ? (11:08pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: ye show is compote scittel. (11:08pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Dr Hal Robins operates under authority of the notorious Bete Noir FUCK : "Fornication Under Consent of the king" (11:09pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: It's here : it's time. We are in the heart of intrusion into humanity. A new story is being written. It is... The Show ! One year later : We still have Paris, and always shall... I tremble with anticipation... I die now... small consolation... (11:09pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: 2 six-packs later : I think I like The Show; at least it isn't so ugly any more, nor very scary. It's too dangerous to remain inexperienced, however, for Love is a very different thing here. So cry, if you must. If not, I have something special to tell you : everything is happening on a different level enow, albeit with great tenderness. At least I think so, but I don't know for sure. (11:11pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: : everything is happening on a different level enow, albeit with great tenderness. At least I think so, but I don't know for sure. How foolish of me; perhaps I should have killed you the first time we met ! (11:11pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Now it is too late to care. Do you understand ? If yes, then we can negotiate a structured settlement. What am I trying to say? Somebody help me, please ! (11:12pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Tonight's Episode : Aeon of Reckoning... Judgment is nigh ! Tears of Show shall flow unabated... Resistance is febrile... The Eulogy of Eugenics now intrudes upon the inclusion of free mutancy. It's as if the Show had deploded from outside... Now only 35 percent of The Show metabolism remains unimpaired by sub-joculant humoresque. (11:12pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Now only 35 percent of The Show metabolism remains unimpaired by sub-joculant humoresque. For example : the womb remains prepubescent, however, even while it sheds its skin ! (11:13pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: This mystery of Nature lies unrequited in its nuptation, though another relapse of remembrance would be immature, according to official criteria. (11:13pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Confusing the issue even more than usual, no amount of ammorality can resolve the situation. The Show lies with its legs in the air, like a woman in need of levigation, and thoroughly condemned to eternal laughter. (11:13pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: For although your happiness is our highest priority, it cannot preempt the ascendancy of those most needful things so dear to Our Darling, Dr Hal Robins. He is the final prototype before the advent of the HyperMan. (11:13pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: His activation is unimportant, but his prehensile fondness of womankind is significant in itself -- and scary ( twice weekly). (11:14pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Listen carefully : you are misplaced, and invaded by the alien present. The Void awaits your expectation of emulation, yet you have no other choices than these. Verily, we have more important things to do than be fraught with one another. (11:14pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Nor can the consequences be considered apart from further absolution, for the communistic intercourse of our bodies tells another tale of sordid deism : one that can be treated, but not repaired through such temporary poignancy. Leave us now... (11:14pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: How very romantic ! Autogenic Love has prevailed at last, again! Technically, we are family, one big happy Show ! But the means has come to an end ! (11:15pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Though Dr Hal spawned this travesty, the cloning process is not complete, so there is still time to return to our former dreams of future glory ! (11:15pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: We could of been gods, but instead we are merely Subgenii ! I beg of you, Stop The Show ! Stop The Show ! Stop The Show (11:15pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Beware -- this is state-of-the-art fakery ! Over-compensation is no excuse for such post-creative exigency ! Deathbed confessions aside, justice will be serviced ! What are we do to do ? Plead justifiable insanity ? Hahahahaha ! (11:16pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: T'is naught but another bold experiment of petulent poignancy gone puerile ! The theory is sound, but insufficient for commensurate acceleration. (11:16pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: It's an option that could deservedly fail, but that is highly unlikely under the present conditions. Alas ! O mickle woe ! (11:17pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: We don't have time for this ! With current technology, we could replace The Show in mere minutes ! Act now ! Be heroic ! Die for The Show ! Okay ? Believe or else ! (11:18pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Dude, Where's My Show ? Hal and K-Rob, two bumbling stoners, wake up one morning and cannot remember where they broadcast The Show, which prompts them on a journey to find it. (11:19pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Along the way, they encounter angry listeners whose minds they trashed, a trans-show stripper hounding them for a suitcase full of stolen edits, a cult of Show-seeking fans, and a group of aliens in Subgenius form looking for the DisContinuous Transfunctioner, a mystical device that could destroy the world. And then... (11:19pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: , a mystical device that could destroy the world. And then... (11:19pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Go ahead and laugh -- they are used to being mocked. The Continuous Transfunctioner, however, is not funny. It's a move-buster, the mystery of which is exceeded only by its power to screw the Universe. (11:19pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: A homo, a negro, a moslem, a crackhead, a commie and an illegal alien walk into a bar. And the bartender asks: President Obama ! What are you doing here ? (11:21pm)
Dr. Penny: Yes, happy days are here again. (12:11am)

A lovely show aged in French oak barrels with a delicious mixture of grenache, syrah and 2% pruno just to lock in the flavor.

Chatroom History
December 6, 2013 10:00pm - 1:30am

nobodyouknow: Warning ! Ask Dr Hal contains Killer Memes in circular scenarios which involve wagering one's head versus Wotan and company. (11:00pm)
nobodyouknow: Such archaeo-psychology requires updated engrams, procedures, and meta-materials to compensate for the aberrated ethnic technophilia that arises from the virtual hypothalamic Abyss, as predicated by your participatory interpolation of the harmonic orientations exuded by The Show. (11:00pm)
nobodyouknow: If you chose to continue listening to this program, you implicitly agree to assume responsibility for any mistaken empathic forgiveness, whether imagined or nouminous. (11:01pm)
nobodyouknow: If this does not work, then the victim is best left to the psychiatrists, as the causes are medicinal, not surgical. (11:01pm)
nobodyouknow: There is, however, such a thing as helping others to live with their weaknesses, thus turning them into useful eaters. The Show derives its sustenance thereby, albeit only at a subsistence level. (11:01pm)
nobodyouknow: False Show Memories may be dependent on transcription errors copied into random codons of DNA. Thus the above may not apply to you. (11:01pm)
nobodyouknow: Rather, you may have far worse accreditation deposited in secret memory bank accounts, for which you are nonetheless accountable. (11:02pm)
nobodyouknow: To Our Loyal Worshipers, Our Loyal Sinners, Our Loyal Gods, etc. -- If you find people worshiping you by proxy, then by all means be their proximal god. Please remember to collect the rent, and command them to thump thine enemies and the enemies of National Security in the country in you live. (11:02pm)
nobodyouknow: in the country in which you live (11:04pm)
nobodyouknow: PEAK SHOW -- Worse than Peak Oil ! When the joke crisis hits and humor is rationed, the finiteness of jocularity becomes transparenteral. (11:05pm)
nobodyouknow: Then the recrudescence of acerbic sarcasm becomes hyper-significant to all but the most obtusely obstinant ( and obsolete ) objectivists. (11:05pm)
nobodyouknow: A sudden decline in joke availability is going to mean an ugly attitude crash in which many people will starve for humoresque -- and oprobrium is no subtitute. (11:05pm)
nobodyouknow: For example : The Show ( viz., Ask Dr Hal ) can hold 7 percent more haha per degree of separation from the listeners. This means there will be bigger laughs, louder hoots, and more wholistic hohos. (11:06pm)
nobodyouknow: The stoichastic balance of brain hemisphere frigidity cannot maintain such stressful sensitivity even for short periods, especially at microwave frequencies such as utilized by those hapless hopefuls who access cell phones in order to Ask Dr Hal pathetic questions. Texting is of no avail in such instances of circumstantial consternation. Auditor emptor ! (11:06pm)
nobodyouknow: Texting is of no avail in such instances of circumstantial consternation. Auditor emptor ! (11:06pm)
nobodyouknow: It's Incredible ! Since I started using Hal-Based Mathematics, my sexual life greatly improved, as seen on TV! (11:10pm)
nobodyouknow: Despite all the air-kissing and eye-batting by the Hal RObins administration towards the Radio Valencia audience, the entire spectacle is nothing more than a political shape-shifting ruse, no different in essence than cross-dressing transvestite Halloweeners -- (11:11pm)
nobodyouknow: -- a mere exercise in deception and done entirely in the interests of having San Francisco open the gates to her well-protected city so that -- as in the Aeneid's Trojan Horse - a nighttime invasion may take place. (11:11pm)
nobodyouknow: The so-called Ask Dr Hal Show should not only be expelled from all countries where it operates, the operatives should be drowned in a cesspit for the crimes they have helped perpetrate against many peoples around the world: (11:13pm)
nobodyouknow: recruiting subversives, and mercenaries, infiltrating political and sexual movements, torturing and disappearing people, spying, trafficking children and women for prostitution, smuggling drugs, etc (11:13pm)
nobodyouknow: Will no one free me of this meddlesome irony? Ask Dr Hal is a strange trichotomy of intransigent ridiculosity, sexual malfeasance, and rectal rectitude that gives rise to ever-increasing insanity and madness. (11:15pm)
nobodyouknow: Such abuse of the English tongue would be funny were it not fraught with frightful consequences, moral bankrupture, and embarassing humiliation. Ask Dr Hal is merely the apex of hyprocritical hubris, postulated as a potentially positive reinforcement for political procedures, posing as a paliative against revolution. (11:15pm)
nobodyouknow: posing as a paliative against revolution. (11:16pm)
nobodyouknow: In keeping with the unprofessional journalistic ineptitude that typically characterizes the propaganda screeds emoted by Dr Hal, no actual names are mentioned ! It is because of such blatant whore-mongering zio-crap like that Dr Hal has lost almost half his listeners in a single hour tonight. (11:16pm)
Santa Claus: Life is tough; times are hard; Here's your fucking Christmas Card. (11:17pm)
Krishna: Kaadal Mannan Veetukkari Asathal Purushan Pondatty Vedha ! (11:18pm)
JFK: The neo-con lunatic fringe, personified by Puzzling Evidence, has hijacked The Ask Dr Hal Show, plundered and poisoned the minds of listeners, and produced a string of illegitimate radio programs based on the monumental lie of a hyperthetical false flag attack on Radio Valencia. (11:19pm)
Darwin: DR HAL DinoSexxx.com -- Vintage Big Horn Sauropeds, Bouncing Blonde Raptors, Tattoed T-Rex, Brontosauri Buttocks, Oiled Triceratops, Perfect Perky Pterodactyls, Post-Adult Abrosaurus Asses, Monster Scrotum Humanum, Buxom Bambiraptors, Bainoceratops Boobie-Boinking, Bisexual Brontomeri, Caudipteryx Cocks, Camarasaurus Cunnilingus, Double-Dipping Dandankosaurus, Dinodocus Dicks ! (11:21pm)
Darwin: Caudipteryx Cocks, Camarasaurus Cunnilingus, Double-Dipping Dandankosaurus, Dinodocus Dicks ! (11:21pm)
CPRmichael: Over here? (11:22pm)
OMG Skitler: Now land the damn thing (11:23pm)
somebodyyouknow: 19000 eighty! (11:26pm)
nobodyyouknow: Stop that DRIVEL!! (11:28pm)
The Ghost: Here we are (11:28pm)
The Ghost: Hi kids (11:29pm)
The Ghost: Ovver here (11:29pm)
The Fun Real Industry: Ok Cost runs begin now (11:32pm)
CPRmichael: Hey Pete, when can we see the comet? (11:39pm)
Dr. Penny: Pete wants to moon us. (11:41pm)
Dr. W: http://bit.ly/18qgfeV (11:45pm)
CPRmichael: I want a Dr. Hal poem! (11:54pm)
CPRmichael: I am "Asking Dr. Hal" for a poem. (12:00am)
Karen Carpenter: krampus is hipster santa (12:16am)
Karen Carpenter: engineer talk is sexy (12:25am)

The Missing Episode where Hal recounts his adventures in the South Pacific, where, in a tropical version of Excalibur, he was the only person in the entire atoll able to open a jar of jam that no one else could and thus Hal was crowned King of the Cannibals.

Or maybe not.

A full studio of microphonic babbling.


Chatroom History
November 22, 2013 10:00pm - 1:30am

DrPantzFunkley: fuck yeah (10:02pm)
DrPantzFunkley: SubGs in the house mutha funkas (10:02pm)
DrPantzFunkley: thanks hal, looking forward to a good night (10:02pm)
DrPantzFunkley: it's been a long week, what do yuo have planned for us subg's out in the waste land? (10:02pm)
DrPantzFunkley: excellent! (10:04pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: How To Pee Without 'Splashback': Study Of Fluid Dynamics Unveils Best Tactic For Men -- http://bit.ly/Il4vQA (10:12pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: youtube.com/watch?v=9c66KVU5ah8&list =TLTjUdKOIHY5oU-LMxUBLOwt_9cUZ-911M (10:12pm)
DrPantzFunkley: is that IP Standings literature on the subject? (10:12pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: You're micturating me off already, mr peepee pants (10:14pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: The Wild Women of Wongo -- http://bit.ly/Il4GeL -- (10:15pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Brilliant script, acting, & cinematography -- must see must see must see... Enormous quantums of boogy-woogy hotness ! An astonishing accomplishment of theatricality ! (10:15pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Uniquely unforgetable ! Open a new window in your browser and start watching NOW ! The perfect accompaniment to Ask Dr Hal ! (10:15pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Q: How many Palestinian SubGenii does it take to change a light bulb? A: Who needs a light bulb? (10:17pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Q: What does it take for a SubGenius to change a light bulb? A: Never mind, I%u2019ll shit in the dark. (10:18pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Q: How many grouchy Marxist SubGenii does it take to change a light bulb? A: None, after the revolution the proletariat Pinks will do it for us. (10:18pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Q: How many secular assimilated SubGenii does it take to change a light bulb? A: My grandmother, who lived in Dobbstown, changed lightbulbs. Today, we get a Pink to do it. (10:19pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: How many Amish SubGenii does it take to change a light bulb? A: What is a light bulb (10:19pm)
DrPantzFunkley: Agreed, done with the Kennedy (10:23pm)
DrPantzFunkley: move on already (10:23pm)
DrPantzFunkley: people that is, not you guys (10:23pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: The arguments presented by Dr Hal to rationalize his bathos are the sort of fatuous gerbil shyte that can only be found in the Crass Media -- and the farcical fellow fellow actually claims to live by the grace of the ineffable. (10:24pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Stangitudinosity such as that make me pyroflatulate spontaneously, at great risk to my expensive imported Japonip lycra panties. (10:24pm)
DrPantzFunkley: i have heard that argument before (10:24pm)
DrPantzFunkley: but i can't place the source... where did i hear that before... /me ponders (10:24pm)
DrPantzFunkley: sounds like a nice party going on there (10:26pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: "Im Dr Hal, and I%u2019m here to help." How many times this gas has been passed around in joke form lies beyond body count since Dr Hal has been granted carte blanche to wax joculent upon American citizens. (10:26pm)
DrPantzFunkley: i enjoy the tchk tchk tchk of the lighter you can hear from time to time during the broadcast (10:26pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: To be honest with you, one time only, I admit to some huge satisfaction when Dr hal gave that Dianne Feinstein a terminal dose of venereal disease. Yet she continues to live, in a manner of speech. (10:27pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: That perplexes me in a technical way, as a feudal serf vassal of the Rot-child AshkeNazi bankers, feckless uninformed fuqueless moron that I am. (10:27pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Perhaps Pete Goldies can explain it away, were he willing ( in a manly way ) (10:28pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Dr Hal sure looks cool in that Robo-DJ suit, a big hulking thug with BB shot testicles and incontinent steroidal rage, lumbering his saurian way through the concrete jungles, pumped up and tinkled off. He is a perfect storm of looming possibilities, all enforced by attack kitties wearing body armor. (10:28pm)
DrPantzFunkley: haha (10:28pm)
DrPantzFunkley: nice sound effects, thanks! (10:29pm)
DrPantzFunkley: XDay is going to be great this year (10:29pm)
DrPantzFunkley: looking forward to getting together with the crew (10:29pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Once we peel away the persiflage about protecting and serving the public, Dr Hal's case for acquiring an armored car for The Show is rooted in the mindset of counterinsurgency showfare, in which Dr Hal sees himself as an embattled salient of Order surrounded by incipiently violent people who must be over-awed and compelled to submit. (10:30pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: incipiently violent people who must be over-awed and compelled to submit. (10:30pm)
DrPantzFunkley: dang, technical difficulties abound (10:31pm)
DrPantzFunkley: i think you are jinxing the show Nodoby (10:31pm)
DrPantzFunkley: Nobody* (10:31pm)
DrPantzFunkley: with your weird bot like linguistics (10:31pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: My powers are catholic, even at Radio Valencia, though I am 1000 miles away in Las Vegas (10:32pm)
Dr. W: Anyone know good mashup shows? (10:32pm)
Dr. W: Some assembly required was good sometimes. (10:32pm)
DrPantzFunkley: I never knew there were shows dedicated to directly that (10:32pm)
Dr. W: Gonna have to do some meself (10:33pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Don%u2019t suffer from Post-Show Traumatic Disorder -- go out and cause it. (10:33pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: %u2019 = ' (10:34pm)
somebodyelse: Dr Hal Reviews : Clan of the Condo Bears At a time in prehistory when Neandergenii share the Earth with early Homo Pinkus, a band of cave-dwellers adopt blond and blue-eyed Oohlala, an orphaned child of the Yetinski. (10:36pm)
somebodyelse: As Oohlala matures into a spirited young woman of hotness and courage, she must fight for survival against the gynophobic Stangians and hyperhorny Philogians. This is her story. (10:36pm)
bobnelson: I'm in Las Vegas. Somebody help me, please (10:37pm)
Dr. W: WOR IS OVER (10:38pm)
DrPantzFunkley: get on the mic my man (10:40pm)
DrPantzFunkley: Dr Hal, are you talking questions? (10:40pm)
DrPantzFunkley: What does the Fox say? (10:40pm)
somebodyelse: bow wow wow (10:41pm)
Dr. W: wow such Hal many talking (10:42pm)
somebodyelse: Saith Dr Hal unto his Critics : Audacious wights ! Know then, proud Pinkboys, that thou shalt instant perish 'neath my potent tongue ! (10:42pm)
DrPantzFunkley: my typos are in full effect tonight... ugh (10:42pm)
DrPantzFunkley: TAKING questions (10:42pm)
somebodyelse: Saith Dr Hal : Ye leaders of witches, crickets, and chimeras dire ! know thou, that here before yon azure heaven the cause of truth, of valour, and of faith right pure shall ordeal counter try thee ! (10:43pm)
somebodyelse: Thus spaked Dr Hal, and brandishing his mighty tongue, doth instant prodigies sublime perform, and instant on the earth the Critics roared credo for their lives. (10:43pm)
somebodyelse: Detested miscreants ! roared Dr Hal ; Avaunt ! Enchanters dire and goblins could alone this arduous task perform : (10:44pm)
somebodyelse: to rout The Show, foul defeat, and war, even such as ne'er was known before to vilify The Show that erst defended famed virginity, and matrons all bewronged, and pilgrims hoar, and courteous guise of all (10:45pm)
somebodyelse: But is the age of chivalry gone, and the glory of the SubGenii is extinguished for ever? (10:45pm)
somebodyelse: The frog Critics, astonished, thunderstruck, forgot their libel and slander, that before had seemed so terrible, at the sight and sound of Dr Hal, in glorious exaltation, like some huge storm of mill-stones, or when it rains whole clouds of dogs and cats. (10:46pm)
somebodyelse: Ever and anon the bladders, loud resounding on his chaps, proclaimed their fury against all impotent laws, coercive mayoraltys ; when Dr Hal, submissive, thus in cunning guile addressed the Critics and the minion Pinks -- (10:47pm)
somebodyelse: Shall you, thus armed with bladders vile, attack my title, eminence, and pomp sublime? Subside, vile discord, and again return to your true allegiance. Worship me, or die dire ! (10:47pm)
somebodyelse: Ceased he then, right worshipful, when the Critics instant stemmed their vituperations, and in sign of peace and unity returning, 'neath their feet reclined their pens. (10:48pm)
somebodyelse: Suddenly Dr Hal stamped his foot sinistrine, and the loud report of bursten bladder stunned each ear surrounding, like the roar of thunder from on high convulsing heaven and earth in puissant flatulance (10:48pm)
somebodyelse: Then more gladsome turned his merry note, e'en thou didst perish, shrieking gave the ghost in empty air, the sport of every wind ; for e'en that heart so jocund and so gay was pierced, harsh spitted by the sputum of good Dr Hal. (10:49pm)
somebodyelse: And the Pinks, long mute and thunderstruck, at which, in universal chorus and salute, they sung blithe jocund, and amain advanced rebellious 'gainst the Critics. (10:50pm)
somebodyelse: Nor could the Critics escape from rage, from fury less averse than cannons murder o'er the stormy sea. (10:51pm)
somebodyelse: And all had gone to wreck in more than mortal strife, unless, like Neptune orient from the stormy deep, Dr Hal rose, e'en towering o'er the ruins of his fighting troops. (10:51pm)
somebodyelse: Serene and calm he stood, and gazed around undaunted; nor did aught oppose, and he waxed joculent, and splattered humor amain o'er all the crowd contending. (10:52pm)
somebodyelse: And thus while rejoiced they to gobble fast the proffered jokes in general plenty and fraternal peace, " Hush," he cried, " hush! hush! " And the Critics fell silent dead. Amen. (10:53pm)
DrPantzFunkley: why spam the chat with not funny stuffs, when you could spam it with worthwhile rant (10:53pm)
DrPantzFunkley: nobody is against spamming, if it's funny (10:54pm)
somebodyelse: I am the funniness; you are the flopped joke. And Im not spamming. I put a lot of time into prepping this. Ask DR Hal what HE thinks about it... (10:56pm)
DrPantzFunkley: how much time? (10:58pm)
somebodyelse: I was of The Show before you were spawned... (10:58pm)
DrPantzFunkley: what's a flopped joke? as opposed to a flipped joke? (10:58pm)
somebodyelse: The Floppy Joke is between your legs ... The wisecrack is behind your joke (10:59pm)
DrPantzFunkley: that's better (10:59pm)
DrPantzFunkley: it's mostly intelligible (10:59pm)
somebodyelse: I am praised with faint damnation... (11:01pm)
DrPantzFunkley: somebodyelse is an agent provocateur no? (11:05pm)
somebodyelse: If you must know, Im Bob Nelson, a free agent, a Sovereign Human Being with Rights & Choices. (11:08pm)
DrPantzFunkley: haha smack it to the man (11:13pm)
DrPantzFunkley: i love it (11:13pm)
John F Kennedy: Please stop talking about me. I'm trying to rest in peace. I'll reincarnate in a few years and try again. But Lynon Johnson : YOU are unforgiven... (11:22pm)
DrPantzFunkley: hahah (11:22pm)
John F Kennedy: As for you, DrPantzFunkley -- it's Gitmo for you (11:24pm)
DrPantzFunkley: i can live with that (11:24pm)
DrPantzFunkley: solitary for me (11:25pm)
DrPantzFunkley: can i get pork though (11:25pm)
DrPantzFunkley: i do so love them BLTs (11:25pm)
John F Kennedy: The guards will "pork" you all you want (11:26pm)
DrPantzFunkley: oui oui (11:27pm)
DrPantzFunkley: but of course (11:27pm)
John F Kennedy: with their weewees (11:27pm)
DrPantzFunkley: oui oui (11:27pm)
John F Kennedy: in the urinal please (11:27pm)
DrPantzFunkley: so how's it hangin' Jack? (11:29pm)
DrPantzFunkley: what's the good word? (11:29pm)
John F Kennedy: Jack me off (11:29pm)
DrPantzFunkley: oh right (11:30pm)
DrPantzFunkley: nice pillow talk (11:30pm)
John F Kennedy: all little to the left, please (11:30pm)
John F Kennedy: all = a (11:31pm)
DrPantzFunkley: yeah, that needed clarification (11:31pm)
John F Kennedy: I've had enough of your guff. Meet me in front of Radio Valencia at midnight and we'll settle this mano-a-mano (11:33pm)
DrPantzFunkley: so are you a guest on the show? (11:34pm)
John F Kennedy: I am the very soul of the show (11:34pm)
DrPantzFunkley: i spy with my little eye... (11:35pm)
spy emerson: hi everyone (11:40pm)
spy emerson: meeee (11:40pm)
spy emerson: sausage party (11:41pm)
spy emerson: in da house (11:41pm)
DrPantzFunkley: orgasmic inducing answer it would seem (11:56pm)
Dr. Penny: Ask Dr. Hal shall answer all your questions. (12:00am)
DrPantzFunkley: hey hey Dr Penny (12:00am)
DrPantzFunkley: how's it going? (12:00am)
Dr. Penny: It's going really really good. (12:01am)
DrPantzFunkley: excellent (12:02am)
DrPantzFunkley: i am glad it's the weekend and thanksgiving is coming up, i need some r and r (12:02am)
Dr. Penny: I'm pretty drunk right now, but all things are really really good. Ahhhh!, I love the science report. Dr. Goldie always delivers sooo super good. (12:05am)
DrPantzFunkley: i have to get some sleep, it's been a long day (12:10am)
Dr. Penny: Praise Dr. Hal. Praise Dr. Goldie. Praise Puzzling Evidence. Praise KROB. (12:11am)
Dr. Penny: Praise "Bob". (12:11am)

TO clear the aisles for the Thanksgiving items, we are offering the Ask Dr Hal Show at a discount. How do we do it? VOLUME!


Chatroom History
November 15, 2013 10:00pm - 1:30am

Dr Joe Mengaylay: Dear Dr Hal -- The Boys from Brazil have arrived at last... I am certain that they will meet your special "needs", as I selected them myself according to your specifications : blond eyes, blue hair, Aryan, bulletproof, ready to explode into Destiny, and finitely superior to any and all pinks. Their names are Bobby. If you are satisfied with them, please remit the remainder of your payment to my BitCoin account according to our agreement. Signed, Dr Joe Mengaylay (10:20pm)
Dr Joe Mengaylay: Their names are Bobby. If you are satisfied with them, please remit the remainder of your payment to my BitCoin account according to our agreement. Signed, Dr Joe Mengaylay (10:21pm)
Bobbette: CONFESSIONS OF A SHOW HO' -- After years of listening to The Show ( Ask Dr Hal & Puzzling Evidence ), I began to realize that I have HUGE chunks of Missing Time as a direct result of listlessly listening to their relentless audio-sexual abuse. Their slithering silver tongue devilry has wormed through my cochlea and into my cranium, where it LIES implanted, always transmitting their interminable insidious, invidious, insipid, indecent mind-control commands. (10:23pm)
Bobbette: Their slithering silver tongue devilry has wormed through my cochlea and into my cranium, where it LIES implanted, always transmitting their interminable insidious, invidious, insipid, indecent mind-control commands. (10:24pm)
Bobbette: I have undergone hundreds of hours of psychiatric counseling and hypnotic recall to recover my memories of the horrific torture of my genitalia by the seemingly loveable Dr Hal Robins and his creepy cohort Doug Wellman. Here is my story : OWWW ! OWWW ! OWWW ! STOP ! STOP ! PLEASE STOP ! PLEASE ! (10:24pm)
Bobbette: Sleep deprivation, Russian roulette, boiling water enemas, recycled micturation, faecal fear-mongering ( to this day I am afraid to make caca, poopoo, nana, doodoo, shyte, turds, or merde )... (10:24pm)
Bobbette: Ritual evocations and victual blood sacrifices of terrified kidnappee Milk Carton Kid virgins to Hypo-Dimensional Reptilian HemiUrges... (10:25pm)
Bobbette: followed by orgiastic buffet feasting upon harvested organs and goblets of hot, fresh haeme... (10:25pm)
Bobbette: All too much Pink Magic... Somebody help me, please ! Stop The Show ! Stop The Show ! (10:25pm)
Bobbette: There must be some threshold for criticality, some brasting point that prompts the legions of swindled Listeners to break out its fabled arsenals of Killer Jokes that bring the Big Lie to its long overdue bitter end, (10:26pm)
Bobbette: when Truth will out The Show for the fantabulous, feckless daemonic fraud that it is, at an unaffordably hyper-inflated price at that, plus a profound disinterest in the inevitable subsequential counter-coup of the zeitgeist. (10:26pm)
Bobbette: It is one of the great hidden blessings of our time, actually, that anything organized on such a massive scale as The Show is pre-doomed to failure. But it is likewise the great mission of our time to prepare to get funny and funnier, (10:26pm)
Bobbette: something we%u2019re not really ready for, nor capable of accomplishing in the face of the Extinction Level Event we have evoked in Fukushima. As we consummate with Dr Hal this evening, we can find solace and succor in knowing that the intertwining of these general dynamics will be the story line for millions of millenia to come. (10:27pm)
Bobbette: the story line for millions of millenia to come. (10:27pm)
Ezekiel: Tonight, as I lay abed, pondering the mysteries of the orgasm, I received a Vision from God. It told me to tell you this : -- A Great Earthquake will strike San Francisco-Sodom at 10:48 pm tonight. (10:28pm)
Ezekiel: If you value your pathetic excuse for a life, run away NOW ! RUN ! It is too late to get out of town -- but RUN to the nearest open space so you won't be squashed by collapsing buildings, or sliced and diced by a rain of glass shards. RUN ! RUN ! (10:28pm)
Ezekiel: P.S. Too late... We return now to our regular programming. (10:28pm)
Neville Shoot: Come One, Come All ! Meet Dr Hal -- "On The Beach" at The Presidio under the Gilded Gate Bridge -- November 31 at 9 p.m. -- We'll dance the night away, "Waltzing Matilda" till Fukushima comes ashore, bearing its generous gifts of clinging, cloying, sticky particles of nuclear love for you, mon amour. (10:32pm)
Neville Shoot: for you, mon amour. (10:32pm)
Neville Shoot: Together we'll stumble along the shoreline, over and around the softly glowing tsunami debris. Simultaneously, we'll thrill as one to the squishyness of countless nuked starfish disintegrating inexplicably. (10:32pm)
Neville Shoot: We'll gasp with unified amazement at the beautious pods of beached dolphins and whales, all covered with noisome sores, tumors, and plastic flotsam. (10:32pm)
Neville Shoot: Hand-in-hand, we shall look for pieces of mind, passively pussyfooting around the nuclear issues that derive from Israel's Magna BSP-Stuxnet cost-effective pacification of the bankruptured Pacific Ocean. (10:33pm)
Neville Shoot: Don't miss this once-in-a-Yuga opportunity to be too late to do anything whatsoever effective ! Join us for a mealy-mouth schmooze-fest "On The Beach" at The Presidio -- November 31 at 9 p.m. (10:33pm)
Neville Shoot: We'll sit on our duffs and butocks around a raging bonfire of vain veneration of Dr Hal, united in juvenile circle-jerking jocularity ! Later, we'll rage and rail against the Machine-Beast in futile self-indulgence, even more meaningless and monumentally time-wasting than Burning Man ! (10:33pm)
Noah Webster: That's BUTTOCKS, you ass.... (10:34pm)
Liberty Valencia: A Warning To Show Trolls I will not brook, nor shall I tolerate, any more slanderous articulation, nor any libelous pink journalism with regard or in reference to Dr Hal and that one time with that Mule. (10:36pm)
Liberty Valencia: That Mule was at least 21 years old, which made it a consenting adult. And that one time occurred over 7 years ago, so the statue of limitations does not apply. And anyhow, it was a science experiment, and Dr Hal will do anything if it's for Science. (10:37pm)
Liberty Valencia: So bugger off, all you retro-voyeurs ! You are but vicarious vampires vultures, viscerating the virtuous vitae of the good Dr Hal, Lord of the Fleas ! All hail Dr Hal ! Vote for Dr Hal, Emperor of San Francisco ! Vote early, and vote often ! (10:37pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: A Warning To Pink Boys -- You Pink Boys are destined to slavery because you have all the attributes and appropriations of a slave race. Look around you and take notice of what you nominally SubGenius have become: (10:51pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: semi-literate, quasi-cultured, proto-philistine, easily misled and incredulous, rational, subject to objective propaganda and principled pleasure, television-addled, enervated by aspartame, stultified by fake drugs, brutalized by prehensile pornography ! (10:52pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: As the sewage of Puzzling Evidence and Ask Dr Hal -- collectively called " The Show " -- spreads its slime over the golden cornfields and shining towers of a once Christian country, there is nothing much to live for except sex and death and more money. (10:53pm)
The English Patient: READ THIS OR ELSE BECAUSE IT ACTUALLY WORKS. YOU WILL BE KISSED ON THE NEXT NEAREST FRIDAY POSSIBLE BY THE LOVE OF OUR LIFE. TOMORROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF OUR LIFE, HOWEVER. IF YOU DONT POST THIS TO THREE ASK DR HAL SHOWS, HOWEVER, YOU WILL DYE WITHIN THE NEXT TWO DAYS. NOW, YOU'VE ALREADY STARTED READING SO DONT STOP, HOWEVER. THIS IS REAL. SIGNED, THe English Patient. (10:55pm)
The English Patient: NOW, YOU'VE ALREADY STARTED READING SO DONT STOP, HOWEVER. THIS IS REAL. SIGNED, THe English Patient. (10:55pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: BREAKING NEWS HEADLINES : FEMA Bodybag labels : Radio Valecia - Ask Dr Hal Listeners ! Pictures at Midnight ! Start Worrying -- Facts Follow... (11:01pm)
Dr. Penny: $35 dollars for eternal salvation or triple your money back!!!! Praise "Bob"! (11:04pm)
John Lennon: I wrote a song for you : Show, Show me do You know I Show you I'll always be true So please, Show me do Whoa, Show me do (11:07pm)
John Lennon: Dear Mr Robins -- I may be dead but being stuck on the astral plane, I can still listen to your radio broadcast, which comes across like a megaphonic loudspeaker on this side of reality. (11:09pm)
John Lennon: Yep... you're wonderful, but you're stinking up the atmosphere in Hell. Please use a script or shut up. Reruns of Old Show are ok, before you went maudlin on us... Signed, John Lennon (11:09pm)
John Lennon: Dear Dr Hal I wrote another song for you: "Can't Buy Me Jokes --- Can't buy me jokes, jokes Can't buy me jokes I'll buy you a diamond ring my friend if you'll tell a joke just right I'll get you anything my friend if it makes you'll tell a joke just right Cos I don't care too much for money, and money can't buy me jokes (11:11pm)
John Lennon: and money can't buy me jokes I'll give you all I got to give if you say you'll just tell a joke I may not have a lot to give but what I got I'll give to you I don't care too much for money, money can't buy me jokes Can't buy me jokes, everybody tells me so Can't buy me jokes, no no no, no (11:12pm)
John Lennon: How do you like it ? Admittedly it's a bit rough in spots, but it has a good hook, and it's danceable... Signed John Lennon (11:13pm)
John Lennon: Dear Dr Hal -- You're so inspiring, I wrote another song for you : "Help!" Help, I need some Show Help, not just any Show Help, you know I need Dr Hal, somebody help me, please (11:14pm)
John Lennon: When I was younger, so much younger than yesterday I never needed anybody's Show in any way But now those Shows are gone, and I'm not self insured Now I find I've deranged my mind, and turned on the radio (11:14pm)
John Lennon: Help me even if you can't, I'm feeling down And I do appreciate you being round Help me get my ears back in the sound Won't you please, somebody help me, please. Signed John Lennon (11:15pm)
Dr. Penny: John Lennon, I know you really do wish I'd "show you do." It shall be, one day. ;) (11:16pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: John Lennon (11:17pm)
John Lennon: May I reincarnate through you as my mommy ? (11:17pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: The Blogosphere is awash with the anguished wails of concerned SubGenii who bemoan the present state of The Show -- the looting of ordinary listeners by Pink pranksters, homeyness, joke losses and falling skies, rising unslackment and pre-poverty, drugless addiction, low-grade post-sexual pornoglyphy, failed suicides, daily shoot-ins and the slurred murder of the English tongue, decaying political infrastructures, spying and snitching by facecomic fiends and faceless foes alike, buttheads all. (11:19pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: low-grade post-sexual pornoglyphy, failed suicides, daily shoot-ins and the slurred murder of the English tongue, decaying political infrastructures, spying and snitching by facecomic fiends and faceless foes alike, buttheads all. (11:19pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: All in all, it is a disgraceful picture from The Show to an ordinary SubGenius, as if of a Fourth World theocratic iconograph of Mohammed the Mohel, as it were, a profitable prophecy by the God of the Gorillas, a desperate last-gasp attempt to convert Camel-suckers to Marlboro-mensch. (11:20pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: I call for Jihad against The Show ! Come one, come all ! Join me in front of Radio Valencia to protest this violation of my virginal vagaries and the hymen of my vacuous vaginal virtues ! Bring your own pitchforks and condoms and beer. (11:20pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Show Tip of the Day --- Newbie listeners often complain that Ask Dr Hal has a steep learning curve. This is because The Show has multiple different attention-capture modes and their names (or whatever they are) are not self explanatory. (11:21pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: New listeners will doubtlessly -- or perhaps even indubitably -- be confused as to which modalities to utilize, depending on the mood de jour. The good thing is, the Help file clearly explains what each mode is and its fundamental funcion in terms of fun. So stop worrying, sit back, sit up straight, and enjoy the damned Show ! But PLEASE -- DO NOT TRY TO TALK AND THINK AT THE SAME TIME ! (11:21pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: sit up straight, and enjoy the damned Show ! But PLEASE -- DO NOT TRY TO TALK AND THINK AT THE SAME TIME ! (11:22pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: When the music stopped in October 2013, Dr Hal bopped away with a $40 million severance package from Chicken John, and we puerile peons were left to sweep the confetti off the floors, mop up the spilt champagne, pick up the empty bottles, broken glasses and caviar droppings, scrub the vomitorium with our own toothbrushes, and pay for all the damages incurred during the sordid orgy of greed, lust, gluttony, envy and sloth. (11:23pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: scrub the vomitorium with our own toothbrushes, and pay for all the damages incurred during the sordid orgy of greed, lust, gluttony, envy and sloth. (11:23pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Somehow the distracted, techno-narcissistic, oh-so-too-easily duped zombies have been lured once again into the cutely decorated arachnoidal web of subprimarily mortgaged Show lies. (11:23pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: We have only ourselves to blame as the discorporate fascist panarchist vampires implement their final solution for the SubGenius central class and our once proud Show %u2013 a pointless joke to the back of the head. (11:24pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Already enow, I find myself gasping with amazement as I gaze into the abyss, alternately yawning with bemused boredom and post-existential ennui as our parasitic host shows his true color : PINK ! PINK ! PINK ! (11:24pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: NEW MENTAL HEALTH REGULATIONS TIED TO JOKE CONTROL: DISAGREE WITH ANYTHING DR HAL SAYS , YOU ARE SHOWIST, PSYCHE GULAGS ON THE WAY AND THEN THORAZINE HELL AND LOBOTOMIES FOR CRITICS. (11:34pm)
jr "spud" seven: One week, 50 years! (11:47pm)

A radio show done by Dr. Hal, featuring Dr. Hal. There were no survivors.


Chatroom History
November 8, 2013 10:00pm - 1:30am

Dr. Penny: "A circular firing squad." (11:07pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Sigh... Another show, another dolorous symphony of failed attempts to joculate my existential ennui -- more inept skulldung writ large on a backdrop of post-futuristic tranquility, so serene as to anchor my chaos in comfortable comport under a steaming pile of communal compost on a derelict garbage scow, now run aground here in Sludge Bay. (11:22pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: derelict garbage scow, now run aground here in Sludge Bay. (11:23pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: The resultant loss of illegitimacy bothers me no end in very undesirable directions, but no matter, and to no avail. Please pardon my optimistic fatalism. I know this because I am part of the problematic solution. (11:23pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: SubGenii such as I try things like this because we are all, as it were, Trayvon, freshly commodified juvenile narcissists with untenable collective modalities, being stalked by paranoid pocho-mulatto inbreds with tangled telomeres -- not a tenable tendency in this eternity. (11:24pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Dr Hal RObins is a unique blend of fabulous incompetence, pseudo-narcissism, and murderously cosmic egolessness, and odd in the extreme to boot, complete with flashing neon lights, fanfares, timpani, trapeze artists, searchlights, all proclaiming %u201CHere I am! I%u2019m forging your joy with impudent impunity ! (11:26pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: all proclaiming "Here I am ! I'm forging your joy with impudent impunity ! (11:27pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Dr Hal promotes a greater harmony of science and hedonistic spirituality in a generous melange of political aimlessness and interfaith schmoozing, awash in the style of Zen-Bahai tradition. (11:28pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: But separation from this Show is eventually inevitable, and brings with it a burgeoning of burning grief and noisome sores, blistering buboes of periodontal plague, beloved of children without toothbrushes or fluoridated candy. (11:29pm)
Dr. Penny: Here come the cats now, roller skating down the street. (11:30pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Listening to Dr Hal, we are resurrected in a world illumined with everlasting solace and succor. Therefore, lament not, for thou shalt find perpetual Show in the Ccean of Pee-Love, aborted again in the eternal death culture of calamitious concurrency, enow and forever, amen. (11:30pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Click Here To Read More : THE PALTRY MISSING $ 9000000000000 from the " Ask Dr Hal " donation account at PayPal. (11:32pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Let's take a look at DrHalCare without the party politics. When it comes to the Affordable Joke Act, AKA DrHalcare, a large percentage of the public is completely misinformed about what the law actually entails. (11:35pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: It is possible to read the law from an interior, psychological perspective: Rather than just a call to reaction, it's about the psychological process of coming to terms with Dr Hal, by allowing oneself to feel the overwhelming anger that is the natural response. (11:36pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: When it comes to the Affordable Joke Act, AKA DrHalcare, once one has faced the facts, overcome fear, and come to terms with one's own righteous anger, THEN it's time for revulsion. (11:37pm)
Dr. Penny: "Where two or more are gathered in Bob's name...." (11:37pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: In its evolution from hypothesis to dogma, "Ask Dr Hal" demonstrates social engineering in its most tawdry superficiality. (11:37pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Ask Dr Hal is a blatant attempt at post-crisis observation of management responsivity, writ large with spray paint. (11:38pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: The message is simplistic, even stark in its implicit skimpiness of detail. (11:40pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Controversy swirls like a tornado around the post-reality opportunism being exploited by eventual beneficiaries who remain anonymous at this writing. (11:40pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: First responders to the tragedy of the Show commons, the alleged callers who telephone their pathetic queries to Dr Hal, can be traced back to their ancestral origins. (11:41pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: The earliest Twitter tweets about Dr Hal are time-stamped at 8 a.m., many hours before the crisis was folded in the laundromat downstairs from Radio Valencia. (11:41pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Sexual orientation is not a term used in the diagnostic criteria for podiatric examination of the impatient patients at the Dr Hal Clinic. (11:42pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: It is, however, asked all too often by the good Doctor Hal himself as he poses the question in private with regard to the privy parts located upleg from the Achilles Heel. (11:42pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Therefore, We should support continued efforts to develop treatments for those with podiophilic disorder with the goal of preventing future acts of lost sock abuse, the which seems to a peculiar penchant of the dear Doctor. (11:43pm)
Addlepate: During his stay at the Bal Loks Ashram in Skro Tumh, India ( 1965-1977 ), Dr Hal learned to predict the future from examination of testicles. Here is what he learned : (11:45pm)
Addlepate: The man who has only one testicle does not have a long life span. If both the testicles are not of a similar size and shape, then such a man has a lively and unstable nature. (11:45pm)
Addlepate: If the testicles are long and slant straight downwards, then the man lives for a hundred years. If the testicles slant towards the left, this person has no difficulty in fathering children. (11:45pm)
Addlepate: If the testicles are continuously in a contracted state; such a man lives in poverty. If the testicles are big, like a horse, then the person has love affairs and relations with beautiful women. Small testicles indicate a short life span. (11:46pm)
Addlepate: While a resident intern at the Long Wang Monastery in Lhasa, Tibet ( 1972-1967 ), Dr Hal was trained to predict the future from the smell and color of Semen and the flow of Urine. (11:47pm)
Addlepate: Both these Tantras of course predict the future of men only. Here now gives some of the methods used for the interest of readers. If the semen smells like scented flowers then, the person become very powerful, like a king. (11:48pm)
Addlepate: If it smells like fish, then this person has more daughters. If smelling like meat, then he is a selfish, self centered and calculating man. (11:48pm)
Addlepate: If the semen smells like alcohol, then the person is a philanthropist and has a most generous and giving nature. (11:48pm)
Addlepate: If the color of the semen is misty or cloudy, then such a person has a sad and melancholy nature. If the color is like pure milk, then this person gains power and authority. (11:48pm)
Addlepate: As for Urine -- If the urine falls to the right, then it indicates power. If it falls in a scattered stream, then such a man is poor. If the urine flows like a wave, then such a person has beautiful children. (11:49pm)
Mayor Weiner: Click Here to View Dr Hal s Vintage Porn Collection ( PART 69 ) Featuring Amateur Brown Hair Brunette Babesin Bathroom Bondage... Drunk In-car Celebrity Domination... Outdoor Facial Lingerie Fetish Glamour... Chubby Mature Legs Massage ... Oiled Highheel Schoolgirl Tattoos ... Public Gym Groupgrope ... and Much Much More ! (11:50pm)
Mayor Weiner: Public Gym Groupgrope ... and Much Much More ! Click Here Now (11:51pm)
Dr Hal: I click here now. (12:11am)
Grok: I, you. (12:12am)
Antipadies: Grok, you warm I. (12:14am)
e_yazel: Perhaps Hal is trying thinking of a pantograph as the pole coming up from an electric trolley? (12:24am)
e_yazel: I mean, perhaps this is what he is trying to think of. (12:25am)
Antipadies: or Pantalone as the clown backing up the humours (12:25am)
e_yazel: PANTOGRAPH (12:26am)
e_yazel: it was invented here in the Bay Area (12:27am)