...AGAIN and again. Yes, re-run eternally in the Theater of the Mind. Lumbering, clumsy brute, it, innocent of malice, knoweth not what it doth. Later, the City will put up a new one. And no one will remember. Just me and you.

The LIVE Ask Doctor Hal Show at The Dark Room, staring Hal, Pete, KrOB, Sherilyn, John Hell, Spy, Children, with tremendous tech form Sean Wigglesworth, Rhiannon and Jim Fourniadis.

Chatroom History
June 21, 2013 10:00pm - 2:30am

American Gothic: Holy shit it works! (10:01pm)
American Gothic: Going to all this trouble is much appreciated. (10:03pm)
DrPantzFunkley: Hooray (10:04pm)
vj pussycat: so cool! live from the darkroom, right? (10:04pm)
DrPantzFunkley: sounds like it (10:04pm)
American Gothic: It seems like the genuine article. A modern miracle. (10:04pm)
vj pussycat: next best thing to being threre (10:05pm)
vj pussycat: praise technology (10:05pm)
DrPantzFunkley: all praise (10:05pm)
vj pussycat: t bag (10:08pm)
American Gothic: KRoB dives deep for the best of the worst of the WW II era. (10:09pm)
vj pussycat: yes and we can only imagine what it looks like (10:10pm)
Aslan: :@"$-;()@"$)/- (10:10pm)
Dr. Penny: Praise "Bob"! It's coming through live from the stage! (10:12pm)
American Gothic: Superman is an illegal alien. (10:15pm)
American Gothic: That dizzy broad. Fooled by a pair of spectacles. (10:17pm)
Jim F.: It's no fun being an illegal alien... (10:23pm)
American Gothic: Boy, is that ever a simple thought that is so very true. TV kills our consciousness. (10:23pm)
Jim F.: Boy howdy we are streaming like the fun pros! (10:25pm)
American Gothic: (10:26pm)
American Gothic: No drops, high fidelity, no distortion. I'm delighted. (10:26pm)
Jim F.: We just got a new board with separate feeds for maximum flex for both live and broadcast! (10:27pm)
American Gothic: Color me impressed. (10:28pm)
Jim F.: Hal is our inaugural broadcast, thanks (10:28pm)
American Gothic: In fact, Hal' (10:28pm)
American Gothic: In fact, Hal's mike is ususally overmodulated, at least on the podcast. These actually sound better. (10:29pm)
Jim F.: Thx (10:29pm)
DrPantzFunkley: good ol ennio morricone in the background (10:31pm)
Jim F.: Always use the finest tunes if you are going to be blowing off royalties! (10:33pm)
American Gothic: I had wondered how you handled that. Forgiveness is easier than permission. (10:34pm)
American Gothic: Those young people did a great job! (10:34pm)
DrPantzFunkley: it does really sound good (10:35pm)
Jim F.: Tonight John Hell will be played by George Clooney! (10:35pm)
DrPantzFunkley: like being in the room for sure (10:35pm)
Jim F.: We have opera quality fly mics to get the room (10:36pm)
American Gothic: For our celebration of pubic lice. (10:36pm)
American Gothic: But there just isn't anough science report so far. . . (10:37pm)
Jim F.: patience NYSE (10:38pm)
Jim F.: Nye (10:38pm)
Jim F.: Bleech (10:39pm)
Jim F.: Frenet is nasty (10:39pm)
American Gothic: My Trader Joe's Oranjeboom will have to do. (10:40pm)
Jim F.: Magic eight ball is more my price range (10:40pm)
American Gothic: The NASA Massa! (10:41pm)
Jim F.: For you at home, John just buggered a party sheep with the Frenet bottle (10:43pm)
vj pussycat: i wanna see the fiance (10:43pm)
vj pussycat: oh thank you jim (10:43pm)
Jim F.: Quality entertainment ! (10:43pm)
American Gothic: If this becomes a regular thing, we're gonna need a Tumblr. (10:43pm)
vj pussycat: i think we need a ustream (10:44pm)
Jim F.: I am stuck watching the door so I am typing (10:44pm)
American Gothic: Thank you, Jim F.! (10:45pm)
Jim F.: Insert humble remark here (10:45pm)
vj pussycat: but it's free - why watch the door? (10:46pm)
Jim F.: So beer doesn't walk out and choices don't wander in (10:47pm)
American Gothic: Is Pete talking about the Japs again? (10:47pm)
Jim F.: Chooches (10:47pm)
vj pussycat: chooches? (10:48pm)
Jim F.: I never listen to Pete unless he is light ing up (10:48pm)
vj pussycat: haha (10:48pm)
Jim F.: Chooches as in Mission st crazies (10:48pm)
vj pussycat: is that what they're called? (10:49pm)
American Gothic: Superman can hang out inside the sun. It's canon, Grant Morrison said so. (10:49pm)
Jim F.: That's what we call them (10:49pm)
Aslan: Wish I could see it... (10:49pm)
vj pussycat: it's just a bunch of pictures from nasa (10:50pm)
Jim F.: Imagine a bunch of people holding envelopes and waiting for Pete to be finished (10:51pm)
vj pussycat: you don't have to wait for pete to stick the envelope in the pitcher (10:51pm)
DrPantzFunkley: yeah (10:52pm)
DrPantzFunkley: envelope goes in pitcher (10:52pm)
Jim F.: Unless you have been paralyzed (10:52pm)
American Gothic: Pete is an artist, his palette is tedium. (10:52pm)
DrPantzFunkley: how many folks are in attendance (10:52pm)
American Gothic: I think we're all bozos on this bus. (10:53pm)
Jim F.: (10:53pm)
vj pussycat: ha they really were waiting (10:54pm)
vj pussycat: newbies (10:54pm)
DrPantzFunkley: haha, no doubt (10:55pm)
American Gothic: Envelope holders have been hypnotized like chickens. (10:56pm)
vj pussycat: the sound of petes's voice hits that hypnotizing frequency (10:57pm)
vj pussycat: it's like a seizure (10:58pm)
vj pussycat: let's do it! let's go outside (10:59pm)
Jim F.: Space bail! (10:59pm)
American Gothic: Pete's midlife crisis: Over-powered laser pointer. (11:00pm)
vj pussycat: so sad (11:00pm)
American Gothic: Potholes in my lawn. (11:02pm)
Jim F.: Finally (11:02pm)
American Gothic: So that's what the trust fund kids of 2060 will do, snowboard on Mars? (11:05pm)
DrPantzFunkley: time for questions for Hal (11:10pm)
American Gothic: Devolution is real! (11:14pm)
vj pussycat: : | (11:19pm)
vj pussycat: wish them away to cartoonland (11:32pm)
DrPantzFunkley: i need a snack (11:33pm)
DrPantzFunkley: what to gnaw on? (11:33pm)
vj pussycat: carrots? (11:33pm)
vj pussycat: bacon wrapped hot dog? (11:34pm)
DrPantzFunkley: haha (11:34pm)
DrPantzFunkley: i don't have any of the latter readily available, but carrots could work (11:34pm)
vj pussycat: distorting (11:34pm)
vj pussycat: audio (11:34pm)
DrPantzFunkley: midwest timezone, sleep is starting to gnaw at my eyes (11:34pm)
DrPantzFunkley: maybe it was the bass messing with the mics (11:35pm)
DrPantzFunkley: it still sounds good to me however (11:35pm)
vj pussycat: i think krob cranked it up for a bit. he probably just needed a beer (11:35pm)
vj pussycat: does that hurt - sleep gnawing at your eyes? does not sound pleasant (11:36pm)
American Gothic: Sigh, fell asleep. (11:38pm)
Perfect_Timing: So I guess the remote feed worked after all. (11:39pm)
American Gothic: Flyoverland rumblels with the snores of the farmers. (11:39pm)
American Gothic: Did we lose DJPantzFunkley? (11:40pm)
DrPantzFunkley: it doesn't hurt (11:40pm)
DrPantzFunkley: it's most pleasant, but i dont want to be tired =[ (11:40pm)
vj pussycat: Do some drugs (11:41pm)
DrPantzFunkley: the second best thing to catching it live, is downloading it first thing in the morning and listening to it while i putz in the yard (11:41pm)
American Gothic: I guess I picked the wrong day to stop sniffing glue. (11:41pm)
vj pussycat: Yea you should have waited until after the solstice (11:43pm)
DrPantzFunkley: that reminds me, i should get some nitrous charges (11:43pm)
DrPantzFunkley: is it possible to get a whole tank? that would be even better (11:44pm)
vj pussycat: Whipped cream is the perfect late night snack (11:44pm)
vj pussycat: Are you a dentist? Ask a dentist if not. (11:45pm)
DrPantzFunkley: not a dentist, a sociologist (11:45pm)
DrPantzFunkley: my dentist would laugh at me if i asked him (11:46pm)
American Gothic: God said to Abraham, kill me a son. (11:47pm)
DrPantzFunkley: newborns...ugly... what kind of question is that? (11:47pm)
vj pussycat: I don't know if being a sociologist qualifies you to get tank (11:47pm)
American Gothic: http://bit.ly/16WHxHj (11:48pm)
DrPantzFunkley: yeah, i don't think so, i do have a doctorate though (11:48pm)
DrPantzFunkley: i didn't know how regulated nitrous was... my wife is a chemist, i should ask her (11:48pm)
American Gothic: Whippit good! (11:49pm)
DrPantzFunkley: you know it (11:50pm)
John hell: Got a question? Ask now. (11:50pm)
DrPantzFunkley: Can the question be serious? (11:50pm)
DrPantzFunkley: I have always wondered, after all of these years. (11:51pm)
vj pussycat: Is that the question? (11:51pm)
American Gothic: Thanks, John. Please ask Dr. Hal: "Why does the porridge bird lay his eggs in the air?" (11:51pm)
DrPantzFunkley: no (11:51pm)
DrPantzFunkley: i almost prefaced that, but that would be a good question (11:51pm)
DrPantzFunkley: I would like to know, "What is the abomination of desolation? (11:51pm)
John hell: Very good. Consider it asked. (11:52pm)
American Gothic: "Because they will never hit the ground." (11:54pm)
DrPantzFunkley: ha ha (11:54pm)
DrPantzFunkley: i loved it (11:55pm)
DrPantzFunkley: Thanks John (11:55pm)
American Gothic: (11:55pm)
vj pussycat: Question: dwarf or midget? (11:55pm)
vj pussycat: Have any questions got fernet tonight? (11:57pm)
vj pussycat: Good question (11:58pm)
John hell: Many hot fernet tonight (11:59pm)
DrPantzFunkley: Why do humans dream? (12:00am)
vj pussycat: No way! (12:01am)
American Gothic: "What is the best pre-code Hollywood movie?" (12:01am)
vj pussycat: Thank you dr Hal. Don't forget herzog's even midgets started small (12:02am)
DrPantzFunkley: if a dwarf breeds with a midget is the offspring called a didget? (12:03am)
American Gothic: King Kong!! (12:03am)
American Gothic: http://bit.ly/16WKacf (12:04am)
American Gothic: Merci beaucoups! (12:04am)
American Gothic: I shall tithe to RV in the name of the good doctor. (12:05am)
DrPantzFunkley: http://bit.ly/16WKibU (12:05am)
vj pussycat: Didget - I dig it (12:05am)
John hell: Oh yeah. That was fun. Thanks y'all (12:07am)
John hell: Oh yeah. That was fun. Thanks y'all (12:08am)
DrPantzFunkley: thank you john! we are having a good time with the show (12:08am)
American Gothic: Most excellent. Dr. Hal is an American treasure. (12:08am)
DrPantzFunkley: for sure! (12:08am)
DrPantzFunkley: for another live show i will have to send an envelope with a few bucks and the question! (12:09am)
DrPantzFunkley: but where do you send it? (12:09am)
American Gothic: Dr. Hal has to pay the semi-annual Radio Valencia bill, so give it to them. (12:09am)
vj pussycat: Send it to radio v (12:09am)
DrPantzFunkley: but will he get the question? (12:10am)
American Gothic: "Bob" will provide. (12:10am)
DrPantzFunkley: hah (12:10am)
DrPantzFunkley: bob damn it, that's not the answer i need! (12:10am)
DrPantzFunkley: any of you going to X-day this year? (12:11am)
vj pussycat: Negative (12:11am)
American Gothic: My wife told me I could go play art in the campground if I promised to never whine like a 6-year-old girl next time I took the family camping. (12:13am)
American Gothic: I can't make that deal. (12:13am)
DrPantzFunkley: hahaha (12:13am)
American Gothic: Safe journey, all you BART riders! (12:17am)
DrPantzFunkley: night all, had a great time - thanks for the Hal team, great show (12:19am)
American Gothic: That was really a treat. Thanks again. (12:23am)
vj pussycat: Hahaha (12:32am)
American Gothic: I donated to RV but some X- (12:33am)
American Gothic: Day dosh is on its way as well. (12:33am)
vj pussycat: Higgs boson? (12:34am)
American Gothic: Behind the scenes, where the sausage is made on the Ask Dr. Hal Show. (12:40am)
vj pussycat: Ooh I wanna come to yo BBQ (12:41am)
American Gothic: We have to be fat, so as to prevent California from tumbling into the sea. (12:43am)
John hell: I'm on the chat room. Ask a question (12:46am)
American Gothic: Le chatte de la boit -- dear God, a double-vaginal foreign pun (12:46am)
American Gothic: A final question: "Is the noivce SubGenius welcomed at X-Day?" (12:49am)
vj pussycat: That's correct pete (12:56am)
Perfect_Timing: It's me (12:57am)
Perfect_Timing: Driving home from stupid work (12:57am)
Perfect_Timing: It's the radio people (12:58am)
Perfect_Timing: You're still on!!! (1:00am)

Please accept our apologies for mislabeling of the earwig order Ermaptera by one of Dr. Hal's drunk and exhausted guests. The correct name is Dermaptera, as presented by Dr. Hal.

The rest of the show is radio gold.

Chatroom History
June 14, 2013 10:00pm - 1:34am

DrPantzFunkley: hot damn, Dr Hal is finally back in teh House!!! (10:00pm)
DrPantzFunkley: Praise Bob (10:00pm)
Karen Carpenter: horny sheath (10:13pm)
Mocha Daffy: Greetings from Paradise ! May you reincarnate as a dinosaur if Allah wills it , amen ! I am in the process of deflowering 72 virgin varieties of grapes while listening toyour wondrous Show. Ahhhhh... My life is complete, replete with Slack. Here, I drip some upon you from on high... (10:21pm)
DrPantzFunkley: the reagans signaled the beginning of the end (10:31pm)
DrPantzFunkley: chemicals for life (10:31pm)
Hermes Dodecamegistus: I sit here in the Philosophers' Garden in Turba with Ibn Jabir, Nick Flamel, and Fulcanelli. I tell you this for uS all : We love your ridiculous alchemical Show and bestow these droplets of Elixir upon you ....... You are now astrally immortal.... but there's nothing we can do for your body... good luck. P.S. -- Moses says to tell you that a great earthquake will strike San Francisco in 15 minutes. (10:35pm)
Hermes Dodecamegistus: P.S. -- Moses says to tell you that a great earthquake will strike San Francisco in 15 minutes. (10:36pm)
Hermes Dodecamegistus: Insect genitalia provide inspiration for a trail-blazing artist http://bit.ly/121OkKr (10:42pm)
Captain Nemo: My pet Candiru desires to osculate your urethra. (10:45pm)
Captain Nemo: Cover your ears, children - that's a water boatman ( Micronecta scholtzi ) rubbing its penis against its tummy (10:47pm)
Captain Nemo: the proper name for insect intromittent organs : aedeagi (10:49pm)
Captain Nemo: Born with no female sex organs, bed bugs mate by using their penis like a hammer. (10:51pm)
orcpugg: *snorts (10:52pm)
Captain Nemo: bug dongs : http://bit.ly/121P5TI (10:52pm)
Marylin Monroe: I will trade my precious Virginity for some of your Show (10:54pm)
Marylin Monroe: I have been saving it for you. Please do not deny my love. The last time I traded my virginity was for Jack's Hit, & I got killed (10:58pm)
Marylin Monroe: It's a bit dessicated but that's nothing that a gallon of gleet can't fix. (11:00pm)
Marylin Monroe: I am emailing a sample to your paypal account . (11:03pm)
Marylin Monroe: The hymen is tattered but that's natural, not man-made (11:04pm)
Marylin Monroe: Listening to you makes me lactate spontaneously -- it's a miracle ! (11:05pm)
Station144: A little roast beef and epoxy can fix that. (11:05pm)
Jerry Lewis: The joke's on you -- look between your legs (11:06pm)
Jerry Lewis: Want a wise crack ? Look behind your joke (11:07pm)
Station144: Ha dummy. (11:08pm)
SisterMable: oh hai (11:08pm)
Jerry Lewis: oh hai yo (11:09pm)
Karen Carpenter: welcome!!!!! (11:09pm)
SisterMable: Spy & KROB - did you get up to peee? (11:09pm)
Spy & KROB: yes we did it was so much fun (11:11pm)
Spy & KROB: now we're doing it again, in our seat (11:11pm)
SisterMable: Send me a letter! (11:12pm)
SisterMable: I'm doing it right now in solidarity (11:12pm)
Al Fabet: A (11:12pm)
Al Fabet: B (11:13pm)
Al Fabet: C (11:13pm)
Al Fabet: D (11:13pm)
SisterMable: Pussy makes the money (11:19pm)
Station144: I want sausage fried with pancake batter like a corn dog. (11:31pm)
orcpugg: i just want 5 pounds of pancakes right now (11:35pm)
vj pussycat: Hi y'all (11:39pm)
orcpugg: uh oh (11:42pm)
Station144: Creepers (11:42pm)
Station144: Remember the movie Toys? Kids played video games that controlled drones. Sounds like a plan. (11:47pm)
orcpugg: prediction! (11:48pm)
Station144: Vin deisl was the voice for the Iron Giant. (11:55pm)
vj pussycat: bacon wrapped hot dogs are people (12:13am)
Station144: Wormhole warped in bacon. (12:21am)
Station144: Hal, comet ison is supposed to light up the sky like a full moon, what effects might this have on the Earth, since the full moon influences the tides? (12:27am)
Station144: Dermal implants. (12:28am)
Station144: Thanks for the show folks. (1:02am)

Dr. Hal left a note:

"I'm departing for the Lost Coast. Farewell"

... opening an opportunity for "Mr. Merriwether and Cretaceous Breakfast Monsters", the reclusive Ask Dr. Hal cover band, to play their hits and misses. Stay tuned to the end of the show for important information about the upcoming tour!

Chatroom History
June 7, 2013 10:00pm - 1:30am

Karen Carpenter: be over soon as my wife stumbles home from her crew (10:05pm)
Professor Skidwell: Donde están los Doktor Hal? (10:07pm)
Karen Carpenter: Dr Hal has traveled to the Lost Coast (10:07pm)
michaelpeppe@gmail.com: Wh-wh-wh-what IS this place??? (11:01pm)
Rod Johnson: Did I get any calls? (11:02pm)
Rod Johnson: I'm expecting a call from a Mr. Schmidlap. (11:03pm)
Rod Johnson: Did you smell that? (11:04pm)
Rod Johnson: Ahhh, Old Chub!! (11:06pm)
Mocha Daffy: My Beloved Childrens, Greetings from Paradise. I bring a message from the Divine. Leave San Francisco NOW NOW NOW mighty earthquake will strike in 15 minutes ! RUN AWAY ! Go NOW ! (11:11pm)
Mocha Daffy: LEAVE DEPART EXIT GO AWAY DEPART BEGONE (11:12pm)
Rod Johnson: DAMN!! Real feces and urine! (11:12pm)
Rod Johnson: I am always suspicious of guys named Lonnie (11:12pm)
Rod Johnson: If the show is good hamburger, the callers are hamburger helper (11:13pm)
Rod Johnson: San francisco COCKSUCKA!! (11:14pm)
Charlieyoyo: I sure could go for some hot dog helper (11:15pm)
Mocha Daffy: YOU alone are to blame if you not heed this gracious warning from the Divine ! SAN FRANCISCO NOW ! GO ! DRIVE AWAY AAS FAST AS YOU CAN ! DON'T WALK. DO NOT GO BART (11:15pm)
Mocha Daffy: HURRY HURRY ONLY A FEW MINUTES AWAY NOW! (11:15pm)
Rod Johnson: I'M HURRYING AS FAST AS I CAN!! (11:16pm)
Mocha Daffy: BIG EARTHQUAKE COMING I HAVE SENT A LIMOSINE TO TAKE YOU TO SAFETY (11:16pm)
Rod Johnson: THANKS! I'll get the kids ready! (11:16pm)
Rod Johnson: That's a relief! (11:17pm)
Mocha Daffy: I HAVE A SUBMARINE FOR YOU AT PIER 1 (11:17pm)
Charlieyoyo: Answer that phone, would ya please (11:17pm)
Rod Johnson: My usual karaoke bar that I am used to sharing with groovy froods was tonight infested with hockey fans and other assorted douchebags. I felt like I was about to tweak, but praze "Bob", they left just before that happened. (11:17pm)
Rod Johnson: Go tell a hobo how much you love camping. (11:18pm)
Rod Johnson: Remember, if you don't use protection, you're taking a dump with everyone that toilet has taken a dump with. (11:19pm)
Rod Johnson: Making massive arm farts now! (11:19pm)
Rod Johnson: Just shit so hard the toilet flushed itself without the automatic flusher (11:19pm)
Rod Johnson: I would end world hunger by putting Hungary right next to Turkey. (11:20pm)
Charlieyoyo: I like hate, and I hate everything else. (11:20pm)
Rod Johnson: *leans back and picks up legs to light a fart* (11:21pm)
Rod Johnson: No chick has ever said "I'm gonna blow you 'cause your desktop wallpaper is awesome!" (11:22pm)
Rod Johnson: What station is this? (11:22pm)
Charlieyoyo: The gas station (11:22pm)
Rod Johnson: Is Dr. Hal ever coming on? (11:22pm)
Charlieyoyo: This is Dr. Halburger Helper (11:23pm)
Rod Johnson: Is he a real human? (11:23pm)
Charlieyoyo: he's a reel to reel human (11:23pm)
Rod Johnson: FUCK YOU, PAM! THOSE WEREN'T MY PANTS! (11:24pm)
Moomy Schmoo Me: you "sound" like my kind of Show... so ... let's get together and cannibalize a homo hobo illegal immigrant for auld lang syne (11:24pm)
Rod Johnson: t's so easy to take a shit in PetSmart and blame it on a dog that it's lost its fun. (11:25pm)
Moomy Schmoo Me: or we can do vegan (11:25pm)
Rod Johnson: I would do a vegan. (11:26pm)
Rod Johnson: Why does the cat shit in my shoes? (11:28pm)
Charlieyoyo: I have a question . . . . . if . . .iff . . . ifff uhhhhhhhhh . .. . Tarzan and Batman got in a fight, who would win? (11:28pm)
Rod Johnson: yeah, that's good! (11:28pm)
Rod Johnson: who would win?? Hey YOU GUYS!!!!! (11:28pm)
Charlieyoyo: And, they are fighting in a bathtub filled with FFB antidote ? (11:29pm)
Rod Johnson: you'd have to make sure Cheetah and Robin were both subdued before the match (11:29pm)
Rod Johnson: DAMN YOU!!! (fist thrust in the air) (11:30pm)
Rod Johnson: Finish all your food and still ask for a To-Go box and blow the waiter's mind. (11:31pm)
Charlieyoyo: Last Thursday . . . I was stading casually outside of this dinky little Off B'way Theater, just standing there . . . . (11:31pm)
Charlieyoyo: And this chubby little chode comes out of the front door and says to me, (11:31pm)
Charlieyoyo: "you can't come in, it's sold out" (11:31pm)
Charlieyoyo: I laughed in his face . . . "what makes you think I wanted to come in? (11:32pm)
Rod Johnson: I ate the napkin (11:32pm)
Rod Johnson: Rod Johnson is my church name (11:32pm)
Rod Johnson: Why buy the cow when I could milk myself? (11:34pm)
Charlieyoyo: Wow, Dr. Hal sounds like shit tonight . . . wha happen? (11:35pm)
Alan Benard: Proof! That I'm up too late. Greetings from Flyover Land. (11:35pm)
Rod Johnson: Dr Hal passed out and his underlings have taken over (11:35pm)
Alan Benard: This is what real dinosaurs sound like. (11:36pm)
Rod Johnson: the second tier group (11:36pm)
Alan Benard: Feathered ones. (11:36pm)
Rod Johnson: I am proof that Yetis had sex with aliens (11:37pm)
Alan Benard: Feathered aliens. (11:37pm)
Rod Johnson: Seeing how many bow ties you can fit on a giraffe would be an awesome job. (11:37pm)
Rod Johnson: Throw ketchup on some toast. Then sprinkle some cheese and pieces of ham on it and BAM! You've made the saddest pizza in the world! (11:38pm)
Charlieyoyo: This show sounds almost like that other crummy show on KPFA . . . wha happen? (11:38pm)
Rod Johnson: It's too bad that Dr Drummond isn't there to rescue it (11:38pm)
Rod Johnson: but he's sitting on his ass playing video games and drinking beer (11:39pm)
Charlieyoyo: I was just about to say, the only thing missing is that awesome Dr. Philo (11:39pm)
Rod Johnson: he is definitely awesome! and soooo sexy!! (11:39pm)
Alan Benard: I should have logged in as Missing Listener. (11:39pm)
Missing Listener: Ta da! (11:40pm)
Charlieyoyo: There you are (11:40pm)
Missing Listener: Is this the crummy show? I heard it was crummy. (11:40pm)
Rod Johnson: Masturbating is so easy, I can do it with my eyes closed. (11:40pm)
Charlieyoyo: You know, they say you can't polish a turd, but I bet no one has tried it yet. (11:41pm)
Charlieyoyo: So maybe actually you can (11:41pm)
Missing Listener: All is possible with Sham Wow. (11:41pm)
Rod Johnson: This show is almost too good to listen to. (11:42pm)
Charlieyoyo: It may still be a turd, but now it's all shiny. (11:42pm)
Rod Johnson: If only Philo was there (11:43pm)
Charlieyoyo: Yeah, then they could all talk about that one time (11:43pm)
Missing Listener: At the same time. (11:43pm)
Missing Listener: And after the Marvel and Star Trek records ones, how about a mashup of film strip records? BEEP! (11:45pm)
Rod Johnson: If your girlfriend caught you checking out another woman? Just turn to her and tell her that you are SO happy that she doesn't dress like that. (11:45pm)
Missing Listener: Damn, is this my church name? After all this time? (11:46pm)
Rod Johnson: Putting on my pants < pudding on my pants (11:47pm)
Missing Listener: Putin in my mants (11:47pm)
Rod Johnson: My last fart sounded like Bane whispering "biscuits." (11:47pm)
Charlieyoyo: Can you name a food that everyone likes? (11:48pm)
Rod Johnson: yes (11:48pm)
Missing Listener: Giraffe. (11:48pm)
Charlieyoyo: There's always one party pooper out there who says "oh, I hate that" (11:48pm)
Rod Johnson: I like baby giraffe. (11:49pm)
Charlieyoyo: . . . oh I hate baby giraffe (11:49pm)
Missing Listener: I can hear those bacon hotdogs sizzling. (11:49pm)
Missing Listener: Giraffe hotdogs. (11:50pm)
Missing Listener: Why is Michael Peppe talking about vagina? (11:53pm)
Found Caller: Fuck Nichael Penne (11:54pm)
Rod Johnson: Mucous Pupae? (11:55pm)
Rod Johnson: Deep Butt! (11:56pm)
Missing Listener: Eisenhower... a food that everyone likes. (11:56pm)
Rod Johnson: "That's off the hook!" - shitty fisherman. (11:56pm)
Rod Johnson: Is my crack showing? (11:57pm)
Indifferrent Knower: Grack Loose In Town! (11:58pm)
Rod Johnson: Never trust a beggar that wants you to put the change into his pocket for him (11:59pm)
Rod Johnson: Henceforth, I will not start a sentence with "from now on." (12:00am)
Lissing Mistener: Station ID time. (12:00am)
Lissing Mistener: It really is the Ask Dr. Hal show, You're ID-ing the station six times in five minutes. (12:02am)
Rod Johnson: I've done some of my best work here for you guys. (12:05am)
Rod Johnson: I made that bitch some meringue...bitches love meringue (12:06am)
Rod Johnson: FROP HARD!! (12:07am)
Rod Johnson: I kinda like Amanda Bynes now that she's crazy. (12:08am)
Missing Listener: Back ... had to change the tank on the C-PAP (12:09am)
Missing Listener: Damn, you almost hit the post on that one. Top 40! (12:18am)
Charlieyoyo: isn't it time for that cool jazz show to start? (12:19am)
Rod Johnson: I'm going face first into the turnbuckle. (12:24am)
Missing Listener: Dr. Hang Up (12:26am)
Dr. Hang Up: It was a terrible question. But it was a question. (12:27am)
Indifferrent Knower: Questioning the relevence now (12:32am)
Dr. Hang Up: Read me, Dr. Memory. (12:34am)
Dr. Hang Up: If you play Deacon Blues, I'll call in an kill myself life (12:36am)
Dr. Hang Up: live (12:36am)
Helium: Who am I going to date at 3:40 a.m.? (12:40am)
Helium: The music is lovely but Dr. Hal sounds like two old guys complaining. (12:49am)
Helium: Girl Navi! (12:59am)

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

EASILY one of the best themed radio shows heard in decades. Music about TIME -- and good music, too. KrOB's homage to Christian Marclay's The Clock while PG scrapes glue off the Green Room floor.

Chatroom History
May 31, 2013 10:00pm - 2:30am

Dr. Penny: I just jumped on the net now and started listening. :) (11:04pm)
Dr. Penny: An Ask Dr. Hal show full of music and higgs, er hugs for krob. (11:07pm)
nurseannabella: hi Dr.Hal! ;) (11:18pm)
Dr. Penny: We've crossed over the terminator of midnight. (12:10am)

...AND HIS ANIMAL FRIENDS in the make-believe, bouncy, friendly forest. Seven minutes of animated antics. And then, after that, an entire lifetime of remorse and regret. What was the demented Id that drives this anthropomorphic Alazon-figure along? Does it still function? Is it, appallingly, still roaming this world in the form of malicious energy? Keep well protected, just in case. Listen to the Show on a weekly basis.

Automatic Writing has been known for years as a trance-induced "Spiritualist" phenomenon. But, how about Automatic Broadcasting? Eh? Got you there! No, really, our crew is often less than totally consccious as they stream out some of this material, heh, heh. A little-known area of the brain, Wellman's Auditory Association Area, located above and posterior to the lateral sulcus, is responsible. Reports of levitation, "spirit tapping," "goosing," "nerd-knocking" or "spirit spilling" are unequivocally apocryphal and nonsensical (except where photographed).

Chatroom History
May 17, 2013 10:00pm - 2:30am

DrPantzFunkley: Hooray (10:00pm)
DrPantzFunkley: this is what i wait all week for (10:01pm)
DrPantzFunkley: Ask Dr Hal and Hour of Slack - Pure genius...SuBGenius (10:02pm)
DrPantzFunkley: did you just say intent (10:05pm)
DrPantzFunkley: are you reading this Dr Hal? (10:07pm)
DrPantzFunkley: Are you taking questions this evening? (10:07pm)
DrPantzFunkley: there are no answers... only choices (10:09pm)
DrPantzFunkley: just joshing... there's plenty of both (10:10pm)
Dr. Penny: or some answers (10:11pm)
Dr. Penny: might be questioned (10:11pm)
DrPantzFunkley: quite right (10:18pm)
DrPantzFunkley: good evening good Dr (10:18pm)
DrPantzFunkley: I agree with Spy (10:28pm)
Dr. Penny: Yes indeed. Nothing compares with Hal. (10:29pm)
DrPantzFunkley: Hooray for Rev Stang as MC (10:31pm)
DrPantzFunkley: I definitely need to get a reason to trek to San Fran and check out the show live (10:32pm)
DrPantzFunkley: A caller! (10:33pm)
DrPantzFunkley: man, what are these politics??? (10:34pm)
DrPantzFunkley: this thread? (10:35pm)
Dr. Penny: Patrio-psychotic-anarcho-materialist (10:35pm)
DrPantzFunkley: i never got this chat box to work before (10:36pm)
DrPantzFunkley: damn, that sounds rough (10:36pm)
DrPantzFunkley: i assume you are referring to this chicken juan person (10:36pm)
DrPantzFunkley: pollo juan (10:36pm)
DrPantzFunkley: =] (10:36pm)
DrPantzFunkley: juan de pollo (10:36pm)
Dr. Penny: And there's another lady: Karen Carpenter! (10:38pm)
DrPantzFunkley: this is a great show tonight (10:39pm)
DrPantzFunkley: that would be alcohol abuse (10:48pm)
DrPantzFunkley: hooray, chat stream surveillance (10:51pm)
Potesters: Love us, Duckter Hul! (10:52pm)
DrPantzFunkley: hah (10:52pm)
Hermes Monomegistus: porkwash (10:52pm)
Potesters: Potwash! (10:52pm)
DrPantzFunkley: how many wiener jokes does it take to be a party? (10:52pm)
Potesters: Bacon wrapped potwash! (10:53pm)
Potesters: 331/3 apu on u!! (10:53pm)
DrPantzFunkley: good night for audio shennanigans (10:53pm)
Hermes Duomegistus: does the phone work ? (10:53pm)
DrPantzFunkley: so far it has (10:53pm)
DrPantzFunkley: it was just that goldie fella (10:54pm)
Hermes Trismegistus: wamby pamby smarm is what it is (10:54pm)
Hermes Quadmegistus: I gots your eggs in my ovary (10:55pm)
DrPantzFunkley: the way to succeed or the way to suck eggs? (10:56pm)
Hermes Pentamegistus: you can suck my seeds -- it stimulates their germination (10:57pm)
DrPantzFunkley: what are these seeds you are talking about (10:57pm)
Hermes Heptamegistus: wisdom, my child, plus manure (10:58pm)
DrPantzFunkley: ahso (10:58pm)
Hermes Septamegistus: ahso.com -- asian poon porn (10:59pm)
DrPantzFunkley: is this a porn chat? (11:00pm)
Hermes Octamegistus: No, this is strictly platonic (11:00pm)
Porn: See? (11:00pm)
DrPantzFunkley: you just seem overly sexuated (11:01pm)
Hermes Nonamegistus: The turgidity is quite coincidental, due to excessive nitric oxide (11:01pm)
Karen Carpenter: I'd like to point out that no one in the chatbox is paying attention to the show. (11:03pm)
DrPantzFunkley: oh yes (11:03pm)
DrPantzFunkley: i am hearing about snake tales (11:03pm)
Porn: show what? (11:03pm)
DrPantzFunkley: i like aunt bertha's story about the rattler (11:03pm)
DrPantzFunkley: NO2 is great stuff (11:03pm)
TAFKACB: TAFKACB (11:04pm)
Hermes Decamegistus: I can't hear you;ype louder please (11:04pm)
DrPantzFunkley: can you get that in a cannister? (11:04pm)
Hermes Decamegistus: type louder please dammit (11:04pm)
DrPantzFunkley: pay attention to me (11:04pm)
TAFKACB: The Artist Formerly Known As Copy"Bob" is here!!! Perhaps I should donate louder? (11:04pm)
DrPantzFunkley: says the carpenter (11:04pm)
Hermes Decamegistus: I am The Show ; The Show am I. (11:05pm)
TAFKACB: Praise Doktor Hal (11:05pm)
skeleton: deprived, she was... (11:05pm)
Karen Carpenter: The ADHS thanks you for your contribution and honors your service (11:06pm)
Herpes Complexus: Thank you (11:08pm)
DrPantzFunkley: two fisted tales of Bob (11:09pm)
Herpes Complexus: 2 festering tails of bubonic plaue (11:10pm)
Herpes Complexus: plague (11:10pm)
Karen Carpenter: donation (11:10pm)
Karen Carpenter: send it to Pete Goldie (11:11pm)
DrPantzFunkley: what is this caller going on about (11:11pm)
DrPantzFunkley: prank caller prank caller (11:11pm)
Bob Nelson: Get out of Frisco NOW ! A super-quake is imminent & I cannot guarantee your safetyThe gods are angry and I cannot placate them any longer. Go ! Go now ! (11:11pm)
DrPantzFunkley: maybe the caller is full o' crap (11:12pm)
DrPantzFunkley: the caller is talking (11:13pm)
DrPantzFunkley: what is he saying (11:13pm)
DrPantzFunkley: do we even care (11:13pm)
DrPantzFunkley: does he (11:13pm)
DrPantzFunkley: money for what (11:14pm)
DrPantzFunkley: you have any good psychadelia to play in the background? (11:14pm)
Bob Nelson: This is your last warning: Leave San Francisco while you can ! The fury of Jehovah is about to be unleashed upon you pathetic sinners ! Repent ! Come to "Bob" ; he will protect you with his mighty Slack Shtup ! (11:15pm)
DrPantzFunkley: what about st louis (11:15pm)
DrPantzFunkley: perhaps there are superstar sinners in san fran (11:16pm)
Bob Nelson: St Louis is kablooey -- the Madrid Your Fault Line will get you (11:16pm)
DrPantzFunkley: what about west virginia (11:16pm)
DrPantzFunkley: Elkins WV (11:17pm)
Bob Nelson: The East Coast is equally fornicated -- nuke plants & El Hiero ( Canary Isl.) (11:17pm)
Bob Nelson: SAVE US DOCTOR HAL ! (11:17pm)
DrPantzFunkley: how about the Yukon? (11:17pm)
DrPantzFunkley: yes, you can see that (11:18pm)
Bob Nelson: Yukon artists just talk, can't draw (11:18pm)
DrPantzFunkley: but that's how social networking works (11:19pm)
DrPantzFunkley: i think that's the network portion of that (11:19pm)
skeleton: won't save you now (11:19pm)
DrPantzFunkley: well hal would have lots of that (11:19pm)
DrPantzFunkley: he's an institution (11:19pm)
DrPantzFunkley: it's your fellow subgenii (11:20pm)
DrPantzFunkley: they are messing with you (11:20pm)
DrPantzFunkley: it's probably Wei and Stang messing with you (11:20pm)
DrPantzFunkley: 6 degrees of separation from Hal (11:20pm)
Nobodyouwantoknow: 6 degrees of integration with Hal is ... a horrifying thought (11:21pm)
DrPantzFunkley: hahaha (11:21pm)
Nobodyouwantoknow: Im getting used to it... (11:22pm)
DrPantzFunkley: well this is some fine entertainment (11:22pm)
Nobodyouwantoknow: The horror ... the horror ... (11:23pm)
DrPantzFunkley: and the chatroom is a nice addition (11:23pm)
DrPantzFunkley: and the juicer peed out his butt (11:23pm)
DrPantzFunkley: random lighter clicks for the win (11:24pm)
DrPantzFunkley: there needs to be a b*ng there (11:24pm)
DrPantzFunkley: is this that movie thing (11:25pm)
DrPantzFunkley: profligate (11:26pm)
DrPantzFunkley: angels vs devils (11:28pm)
vox populi: I protest your maudlin twaddle; In the bowels Christ, I beg of you, please get a script and a theme. (11:34pm)
DrPantzFunkley: yeah, it is clean good fun (11:34pm)
DrPantzFunkley: no script for me (11:34pm)
micturio: do i need a prescription for this show, or a proscription ? (11:36pm)
DrPantzFunkley: that sounds like a question for Hal (11:36pm)
micturio: never mind -- I'll just abuse it (11:36pm)
Lou Neebin: you be haha (11:37pm)
DrPantzFunkley: keep on with the boogie (11:37pm)
bubo: please don't interrupt me when Im typing a response (11:38pm)
bubo: RSVP (11:39pm)
DrPantzFunkley: have you ever been experienced (11:39pm)
bubo: never (11:39pm)
bubo: never again (11:40pm)
DrPantzFunkley: yea, it's been quite some time (11:40pm)
bubo: plus bedbugs (11:40pm)
Dr. Penny: the beluga foreskin --- if you're having sec (11:40pm)
Dr. Penny: sex on it, you might have to peel yourself off. (11:41pm)
bubo: couched in vague terms (11:41pm)
bubo: that couch is covered with whale hymen (11:42pm)
bubo: just one (11:42pm)
DrPantzFunkley: what's at the bottom of the deep blue sea Dr Hal (11:42pm)
bubo: deep shit (11:43pm)
DrPantzFunkley: mocha's dick (11:43pm)
Dr. Penny: homosexual gang-rape (11:43pm)
bubo: moby dyke (11:43pm)
DrPantzFunkley: it was a random tail flip (11:44pm)
bubo: served him right (11:44pm)
DrPantzFunkley: you can pet them at the st louis zoo (11:44pm)
DrPantzFunkley: and feed them (11:44pm)
bubo: it was the perfect death for him (11:44pm)
bubo: and good riddance (11:45pm)
TAFKACB: mer? (11:45pm)
DrPantzFunkley: agreed (11:45pm)
DrPantzFunkley: jerry lewis is a fuck (11:45pm)
bubo: merde (11:45pm)
Dr. Penny: fucked to death after heavy petting (11:46pm)
bubo: J Lewis sux (11:46pm)
DrPantzFunkley: ugh, don't even mention his horrible name (11:47pm)
DrPantzFunkley: and his horrible art (11:47pm)
DrPantzFunkley: as my now dead buddy with MD said, Fuck Jerry Lewis he ain't done shit for us (11:47pm)
stupit: Im Jerry Lewis and I resent your imputations. Fuque off (11:48pm)
DrPantzFunkley: haha, your impersonation is great (11:48pm)
stupit: stop mocking me -- Im a warm kind gentle fuque (11:49pm)
DrPantzFunkley: best jerry lewis shredding ever (11:49pm)
Karen Carpenter: "Why play it when we're all doing it?" (11:50pm)
stupit: please phone me : ( 911 ) 911-9119, extension 11 (11:50pm)
Karen Carpenter: (KrOB) (11:50pm)
DrPantzFunkley: amen (11:50pm)
DrPantzFunkley: you ripping lewis was way better than actually hearing that asshat do himself (11:51pm)
Dr. Penny: Dr. Pantz, if you hate JL so much why don't you marry him! Then you can make out and fuck him all you want. JL fucket!!!!! (11:51pm)
DrPantzFunkley: pass on that (11:51pm)
GeraldLewis: I want you -- be mine tonight (11:52pm)
DrPantzFunkley: that's nauseating (11:52pm)
DrPantzFunkley: and that's even more nauseating (11:52pm)
what do you know really:: jerry lewis is not so bad. the nutty professor is a very interesting movie and celebrated by cinephiles (11:53pm)
what do you know really:: ms emerson ought to see that one. (11:54pm)
Dr. Penny: DrPantz fuckpukes in Jerry Lewis (11:54pm)
DrPantzFunkley: i am telling you, he's evil, the muscular dystrophy people know this (11:55pm)
DrPantzFunkley: what has the telethon done for them? (11:56pm)
what do you know really:: naw depends on who you talk to. and he was in scorcese's the king of comedy (11:56pm)
DrPantzFunkley: well i was talking to ol larry johnson about the MD (11:57pm)
DrPantzFunkley: and that was his take on Mr lewis (11:57pm)
what do you know really:: he's elderly and it's hip.to trash the aged. (11:58pm)
me: it cured me of my muscular distopia -- now i dont mind being a wuss (11:58pm)
me: oh shut up and listen to the show (11:59pm)
me: ok (11:59pm)
what do you know really:: it's become chic to dump on all patriarchs now. a shame (11:59pm)
DrPantzFunkley: haha toad urinated pillow case (11:59pm)
DrPantzFunkley: toad trippers of the world unite (12:00am)
what do you know really:: whatevers drpantz (12:00am)
DrPantzFunkley: toad trippers - good tshirt (12:00am)
DrPantzFunkley: you could do some good t shirt art with that concept (12:01am)
DrPantzFunkley: maybe a name for a punk band (12:01am)
what do you know really:: last word maven huh? (12:01am)
DrPantzFunkley: this is a chat no? (12:01am)
DrPantzFunkley: i was chatting (12:01am)
DrPantzFunkley: nothing malicious (12:02am)
what do you know really:: go ahead take it (12:02am)
DrPantzFunkley: take what (12:02am)
DrPantzFunkley: i don't understand what's what here (12:02am)
what do you know really:: the last fucking word! please! (12:02am)
DrPantzFunkley: just hanging at the dr hal chat listening to the funniness (12:02am)
DrPantzFunkley: well, all the words are the last (12:02am)
DrPantzFunkley: what does it matter (12:03am)
DrPantzFunkley: and what gives you authority to control this chat (12:03am)
you: Im next -- please don't cut in line (12:03am)
DrPantzFunkley: queue jumpin (12:04am)
DrPantzFunkley: yee haw (12:04am)
what do you know really:: no yhat's your task, self appointed (12:04am)
you: haha I just edited your comment sucka (12:04am)
DrPantzFunkley: what him say (12:05am)
what do you know really:: maybe you can chase all of thr the audience away. (12:05am)
you: teehee I just deleted your comment (12:05am)
what do you know really:: whose (12:05am)
DrPantzFunkley: ok, i really don't understand (12:05am)
DrPantzFunkley: seriously, we are laughing about toads (12:06am)
DrPantzFunkley: and dr hal is dropping the toad science (12:06am)
you: you're a bunch of toadies (12:06am)
what do you know really:: we are all reassured that you're listening, pantz (12:07am)
DrPantzFunkley: i'll drink to that (12:07am)
you: present company excepted (12:07am)
DrPantzFunkley: i still don't quite understand what your beef was all about (12:07am)
you: where's the beef (12:08am)
DrPantzFunkley: between the buns (12:08am)
what do you know really:: nevrrmind (12:08am)
DrPantzFunkley: hey ooohhh (12:08am)
you: bufo toads --bufotenine -- not worth the bother -- you wont even remember it (12:10am)
you: you want an excellent psychedelic high w/o danger -- try salvia divinorum (12:10am)
Dr. Penny: Hopefully DrPantz isn't too old for orgozmotic radiation to affect them. (12:11am)
DrPantzFunkley: affect what? (12:11am)
DrPantzFunkley: orgone? (12:12am)
DrPantzFunkley: wilhelm reich stuff? (12:12am)
what do you know really:: hey everyone just do heroin why not anything goes (12:12am)
DrPantzFunkley: was it the bashing of jerry lewis that caused the feather ruffling in here (12:12am)
DrPantzFunkley: cuz i don't understand what it was that i said other than joking around about disdain for jerry lewis (12:12am)
you: please preenme (12:12am)
what do you know really:: drop it asshole (12:12am)
DrPantzFunkley: ouch, ok (12:12am)
you: nuke you (12:13am)
DrPantzFunkley: i guess that's the problem with this medium, you are reading what i am typing your voice, and not mine (12:13am)
DrPantzFunkley: i am friendly and cordial, i wasn't trying to hurt or shut anyone out (12:13am)
DrPantzFunkley: i was just having fun (12:13am)
DrPantzFunkley: listening to the show, working and chatting (12:13am)
you: me 2 (12:13am)
you: and Im not sorry (12:13am)
DrPantzFunkley: hah (12:14am)
DrPantzFunkley: hear hear (12:14am)
DrPantzFunkley: or is that here here (12:14am)
you: so fuck off anyway just for fun (12:14am)
DrPantzFunkley: i never knew (12:14am)
DrPantzFunkley: where does here here or hear hear come from dr hal (12:14am)
DrPantzFunkley: can you answer that one (12:14am)
you: parliament (12:14am)
DrPantzFunkley: funkadelic (12:15am)
you: haha you funny (12:15am)
DrPantzFunkley: so it's hear hear, like listen up (12:15am)
DrPantzFunkley: i love the p-funk (12:15am)
you: it means hooray (12:15am)
DrPantzFunkley: gotta get up with the get down (12:15am)
Jesus: you're all going to sheol (12:16am)
DrPantzFunkley: is that outside of detroit? (12:16am)
Jesus: it's kike : means hell in english (12:17am)
DrPantzFunkley: well hell, hell is for children (12:18am)
Jesus: of satan (12:18am)
Bibi Netanyahu: we're going to nuke all you anti-semites (12:20am)
Bibi Netanyahu: our fallout will find you whereever you're hiding (12:21am)
Pres. Ahmenijihad: come and get us nigga (12:21am)
Barky the darky: peace out or I'll invade you (12:24am)
Anti-Bertha: you bad boys are all going to hell (12:25am)
Karen Carpenter: mouse poker (12:35am)
Karen Carpenter: Thank you for returning Sarah unmolested. (12:37am)

Dr. Hal's 87th Radio Valencia show.


Chatroom History
May 10, 2013 10:00pm - 1:30am

Karen Carpenter: nothing here anyway (10:42pm)
Sperm: I am responsible for Mother's Day! When do I get a national holiday? (11:57pm)

The studio audience (and off-world listeners) responded favorably to the Ask Dr. Hal Show LIVE FUN(D)RAISER. Now download this, peel back the layers, and weep at the fecund talent that never ends (ends at 1am).

Chatroom History
May 3, 2013 10:00pm - 1:30am

Hermes Decagistus: what a warm kind gentle sweet sensitive show ! (10:32pm)
Hermes Decagistus: so gooshy with smarmy love-squank ! (10:32pm)
Hermes Decagistus: my ears sweat with concupiscient angst to hear such dulcet musicing ! (10:33pm)
Hermes Decagistus: play misty for me or else I'll Eastwood your buttocks (10:34pm)
Hermes Decagistus: now dammit please, I beg you ! (10:34pm)
Hermes Decagistus: now you're scaring me ! stop ! stop ! (10:35pm)
Hermes Decagistus: never mind -- im just gonna go listen to KFOG instead. I don'thave to take this caca (10:36pm)
Hermes Decagistus: Im back ! did you miss me? (10:36pm)
Hermes Decagistus: why don't you answer me? don't you care? (10:38pm)
Hermes Decagistus: ok, Im just gonna ignore you (10:38pm)
Hermes Decagistus: what a cool show ! I have to turn off my air conditioner when I listen to you so I dont freeze. (10:40pm)
Hermes Decagistus: Im in love with Obama... he's the guy for me... whenever I hear his name, I feel happy ! (10:41pm)
Alan Benard: I'm finally listening live to Ask Dr. Hal. Cough up! (10:43pm)
Hermes Decagistus: 10-4 big buddy (10:43pm)
Alan Benard: Wall-to-wall and treetop tall. (10:44pm)
Dianne Feinstein: This program is illegal. Cease and desist immediately, (10:47pm)
Dianne Feinstein: repeat (10:47pm)
Dianne Feinstein: Please repeat the first line of that poem (10:48pm)
Jerry Brown: Do you accept food stamps? (10:50pm)
Alan Benard: Astronomy gives me a boner. (11:28pm)
Alan Benard: The Pepeiopause! (11:30pm)
Alan Benard: Pepe-eclipse! (11:35pm)
spy emerson: hey!! its spy!!!! (11:43pm)
spy emerson: hi hal!! (11:43pm)
spy emerson: i heard it stinks in there like poppin michael pepe!! (11:44pm)
ballSFunky: Couldn't make it to the SHow...gonna donate via payapl (11:47pm)
spy emerson: looooong space report (11:50pm)
vj pussycat: i was just sayin that (11:50pm)
spy emerson: i demand!!! (11:50pm)
ballSFunky: I will donate 100 dollars via paypal if the Space report ends by 11:52 PST (11:51pm)
spy emerson: hahaa! (11:52pm)
vj pussycat: oh well good try (11:52pm)
vj pussycat: maybe someone there could wave a bacon wrapped hot dog in pete goldie's face (11:52pm)
spy emerson: haaa! his weakness!! (11:53pm)
ballSFunky: donated anyway (11:54pm)
spy emerson: we care because of you pete (11:54pm)
vj pussycat: nice ball (11:54pm)
ballSFunky: I don't know who Jonathan Fast is...but make sure Hal sees some of that filthy lucre (11:54pm)
spy emerson: ahhh sound going out!! (11:55pm)
ballSFunky: spy...are you using the popout player? (11:55pm)
spy emerson: i have no idea. its outdated media (11:58pm)
spy emerson: funky balls (12:00am)
spy emerson: clap clap (12:00am)
spy emerson: yawn (12:00am)
spy emerson: terror rain (12:01am)
spy emerson: yes (12:01am)
ballSFunky: whay does everyone do that when they see my handle (12:01am)
spy emerson: darkroom (12:01am)
ballSFunky: funky balls funky balls get off my back (12:02am)
ballSFunky: it's Copy"Bob"!!! (12:02am)
ballSFunky: or Froppy"Bob" (12:02am)
spy emerson: DONT TALK TECH PROBLEMS!!! (12:02am)
spy emerson: omg!! (12:03am)
spy emerson: KROB in teen beat!? (12:03am)
ballSFunky: May the 4th be With You!!! (12:03am)
spy emerson: saturday (12:03am)
spy emerson: night (12:03am)
ballSFunky: radiovalencia>KPFA (12:03am)
spy emerson: mr hell sounds good! (12:04am)
ballSFunky: applause (12:04am)
spy emerson: clap (12:05am)
spy emerson: can you hear me?!? (12:08am)
ballSFunky: i submitted a question via askdrhal.com will that be answered? (12:08am)
spy emerson: wow (12:09am)
spy emerson: ummmm...pepe? (12:09am)
spy emerson: dirty bandage!!! (12:11am)
spy emerson: yes please (12:12am)
spy emerson: get the beer spilling dealt with! (12:15am)
spy emerson: what the heck!?! (12:18am)
Jerry Brown: what is a question? (12:18am)
spy emerson: 969797969 (12:18am)
spy emerson: 69672696 (12:19am)
Willy Clinton: ( 911 ) 911-9111 (12:19am)
spy emerson: because genius never pays enough (12:19am)
Willy Clinton: try subgenius (12:19am)
spy emerson: BUY subgenius (12:20am)
spy emerson: how does a POOTIN smell? (12:21am)
Hermes Trismegistus: I can't get a phoneme in sideways here. (12:21am)
spy emerson: try up and down (12:22am)
spy emerson: hhaaaaa (12:23am)
spy emerson: haahha (12:23am)
Hermes Trismegistus: It works ! and round and round too ! (12:23am)
spy emerson: ass gas or grass ..nobody rides dr hal for free (12:24am)
spy emerson: suspense!? (12:25am)
spy emerson: who is calling? (12:25am)
spy emerson: whos at the door? (12:25am)
vj pussycat: did the brazilian astronaut ever show up? (12:25am)
spy emerson: whoa!! (12:25am)
Hermes Pentagistus: Im at thdoor. Please let me in (12:26am)
vj pussycat: call them (12:26am)
Hermes Pentagistus: I called them assholes then they hung up humorless honkies (12:27am)
spy emerson: hold on to yourself! (12:27am)
spy emerson: chaos (12:27am)
vj pussycat: hal's not taking calls (12:27am)
ballSFunky: 10-4 (12:28am)
spy emerson: no!! our show is may 11th saturday night!!! (12:28am)
Hermes Decagistus: Im at the door too. Please let me in. Please. I have money sex and cannabis for you! (12:30am)
spy emerson: sorry, im in LA (12:30am)
Hermes Decagistus: never mind. Ispent the $$, consummated the sex, and smoked the herb (12:30am)
spy emerson: you good fer nuthin (12:31am)
spy emerson: !!! (12:31am)
Hermes Decagistus: I thought about you all the while, spy dearest (12:31am)
spy emerson: awwww!! who is this?? (12:31am)
Hermes Decagistus: a secret admirer (12:32am)
spy emerson: aww (12:32am)
Hermes Decagistus: I have watched you from afar for many years. I must have you ! Be mine tonight ! (12:32am)
spy emerson: shutup!! (12:33am)
spy emerson: baaah!!! (12:33am)
Hermes Decagistus: I cant handle the rejection. Im goino go fall in love with myself instead (12:34am)
spy emerson: pfffttt!! (12:34am)
ballSFunky: spy...i recently sent you a friend request via fb. My Con-Name begins with the letter "D". (12:37am)
spy emerson: aha! a set up. wow this girl stumped hal. (12:37am)
spy emerson: she must feel really smart (12:37am)
spy emerson: funkyballs, a friend request? uh (12:37am)
spy emerson: dylan green (12:38am)
ballSFunky: yes ma'am (12:39am)
spy emerson: garren (12:39am)
ballSFunky: yup (12:39am)
ballSFunky: I should change it to gReeN now... (12:39am)
spy emerson: snacks!! (12:40am)
spy emerson: HOT DOGS!!! (12:40am)
spy emerson: shes gonna get poopies (12:40am)
spy emerson: nice beat KROB (12:40am)
vj pussycat: WRAPPED IN BACON!!! (12:40am)
vj pussycat: speed round (12:41am)
spy emerson: wow. um (12:44am)
spy emerson: ok (12:44am)
spy emerson: 97 (12:44am)
spy emerson: 96 (12:44am)
spy emerson: 98 (12:44am)
spy emerson: 96 (12:44am)
ballSFunky: pathetic questions (12:45am)
Copy"Bob": PRABOB!!! Aieieiieeieiieiieiiiiieee!!!1 (12:46am)
spy emerson: milk (12:47am)
Copy"Bob": moop (12:47am)
spy emerson: the (12:47am)
spy emerson: sap (12:47am)
Copy"Bob": Standard Audio Profile? (12:47am)
vj pussycat: sounds like 4 peas already started (12:50am)
spy emerson: gnight!! (12:57am)
spy emerson: bye hal (12:57am)
spy emerson: haa (12:57am)

No super intro, abbreviated altro, Dr. Hal arrived late and quit early. Best show all year!

Oh, and the next fundraiser was plugged.

Chatroom History
April 26, 2013 10:00pm - 2:30am

Robinson: It's on (12:59am)
Robinson: the internet is on (12:59am)
vj pussycat: hey y'all (1:02am)

Did Dr. Hal mention that the 4/20 LIVE Ask Dr. Hal Show is free?

Chatroom History
April 19, 2013 10:00pm - 1:30am

Al Gorhythm: ahhhhh ... all better now ! (10:00pm)
Al Gorhythm: encore ! encore ! (10:01pm)
Princess Dianna: You're so ... manly ... please let me succubate you (10:03pm)
Princess Dianna: I'll be gentle (10:04pm)
Princess Dianna: You'll hardly notice that Im there ! (10:05pm)
Princess Dianna: Am I bothering you ? These communications from beyond the grave can be so distressing... (10:06pm)
Princess Dianna: I feel sleepy. Im going back to my coffin. Goodnight you studmuffin ! (10:06pm)
Prince Charles: Has anyone seen my "Prince Charles" ( heh heh ! ) Im feeling... turgid... must copulate ... where's Jimmy Savile when I need him ? (10:08pm)
Prince Charles: Oops ... too late ... (10:09pm)
Prince Charles: Ed Murrow (10:10pm)
Ed Murrow: You talkin' to me ? (10:11pm)
Prince Charles: No (10:11pm)
Dr. Penny: Stick your penis in her necrotic vagina. (10:11pm)
Prince Charles: I have no such "penis". I am a cunt (10:12pm)
Dr. Penny: then give her cobwebbed cuniligus! (10:13pm)
Nurse Nickel: Dr Penny, shall I apply a condom or a cervical dam ? (10:14pm)
Nurse Nickel: Did you say "both" ? (10:15pm)
Nurse Nickel: Which to whom ? (10:16pm)
Dr. Penny: film the bug porn in cobwebs of the vagina! (10:17pm)
Ann O'Nymous: Is the phone working? (10:18pm)
Ann O'Nymous: This technology plays well thru VLC Player freeware but not thru any browsers I use: Netscape 2.4, Internet Explorer 3.5... I am available for consultation. (10:21pm)
Timmy Leary: Do you have any LSD that I can borrow till Tuesday ? (10:24pm)
Timmy Leary: I'll pay you back in prion-free hamburgers (10:25pm)
Timmy Leary: Unless you'ld prefer my filthy lucre (10:25pm)
Timmy Leary: or my pure Love vibe (10:26pm)
Timmy Leary: perhaps a bit of each ? (10:26pm)
Timmy Leary: never mind -- it all just dropped out a hole in my pocket (10:27pm)
Timmy Leary: it's all dribbling down my leg -- hamburger, lucre, & love -- all in vain ... so sad... (10:28pm)
Timmy Leary: so sad ... so sad ... (10:29pm)
e_yazel: see? as this dinosaur controversy demonstrates.... (11:01pm)
e_yazel: ... official science cannot always be entirely trusted... (11:03pm)
e_yazel: at least in one's heart or spirit. (11:04pm)
e_yazel: even the ranks of scientists may become inhabited with openly willfull narcissists (11:08pm)
e_yazel: that is willful. you know. (11:10pm)
vj pussycat: greetings from fiasco towers and resort (11:15pm)
San Francisco: We all be right over (11:15pm)
vj pussycat: fm signal is not working tonight (11:16pm)
and it's drop out city here: ,ok? (11:18pm)
vj pussycat: internet is spotty too damnit (11:18pm)
Salvador Golly: My stream just went down as well (11:19pm)
Show: is no-wher-ville, man.... (11:19pm)
e_yazel: yes it was going well until quite recently... now no sound (11:20pm)
vj pussycat: wtf i heard it just a minute ago (11:20pm)
vj pussycat: yes i can't hear that (11:21pm)
Salvador Golly: Game over man. Game over (11:21pm)
e_yazel: obviously someone.. one of the visitors has pushed a button yhrough no intent of their own (11:22pm)
vj pussycat: it's back (11:23pm)
vj pussycat: quadrophonic with delays (11:24pm)
e_yazel: "ovulator" ha ha (11:30pm)
Hooper: aire of mystery I like it (11:32pm)
Hooper: hipster DMT is that a new drink (11:33pm)
vj pussycat: yea don't they call it deemsters (11:39pm)
FropAmytosis: hello (11:45pm)
FropAmytosis: stream is choppy = ( (11:45pm)
you asked them before handing it to them ?: why? (11:48pm)
e_yazel: yes don't discuss the flyers just hand it to them (11:50pm)
e_yazel: if you ask them beforehand they'll refuse the handouts (11:52pm)
vj pussycat: will the coupon be accepted on mobile devices or does it need to be printed? (11:52pm)
vj pussycat: sorry karen, yes i heard (11:55pm)
unless the asking is unusually charming any data people in the morning will regard you askance and be grateful for the opportunity to look down on somebody.: ... (11:59pm)
unless the asking is unusually charming any data people in the morning will regard you askance and be grateful for the opportunity to look down on somebody.: charming any data guys in thr morning will regard you with scorn and be grateful for that opportunity (12:01am)
e_yazel: .go oug on yhe strert now and circulate the flyers... after all that printing effort. (12:05am)
e_yazel: that is go out to the street populace try that (12:06am)
Praise Goldie: anyone else having stream issues? (12:15am)
e_yazel: no (12:16am)
QueefMaskReplica: yep (1:07am)

Dr. Hal answers all the questions called in to his show, The As Dr. Hal Show.

OK

Chatroom History
April 12, 2013 10:00pm - 1:30am

jack: yay (12:27am)

Dr. Hal Robins comments on the sudden appearance of GIANT SPIDERS during the late Tertiary on Planet Earth. Krob and Pete Goldie tremble in fear at the sudden appearance of Puzzling Evidence. Then the next show starts, the end.

Chatroom History
April 5, 2013 10:00pm - 1:30am

Just Sayin': Hal--Michelle Shocked said very explicitly anti-gay things, then taunted the audience about how "Someone is going to Tweet that I said God hates fags." So you're half-right, she never said the last part, but she was very very clear in the first part which was ugly and stupid and clearly the big reveal of her SF concernt. (11:30pm)
Just Sayin': It was the planned big reveal of her SF concert. Then it was wah wah wah, I said something hateful, why are people hating on me? (11:31pm)
Who_Cares: : Of course, Michelle Shocked was someone few cared about except for the very audience she coddled along... so, it's a Tempest in a Tea Pot. Funny how reactionaries jump on it, so, just as someone did on here just now. (11:47pm)
Who_Cares: : I mean that person who thought to openly correct Hal. Why should he even care about that silly limited audience baiter Ms. Shocked? (11:49pm)
Who_Cares: : "Aw, Michelle done let us do-ooo-ooown." BFD, who cares? How you like that? (11:51pm)
Hermes Pentagistus: bounding love -- boing boing (12:03am)
Hermes Pentagistus: I love nipple too (12:04am)
Hermes Pentagistus: I am drowning in innocence -- please corrupt me (12:05am)
Hermes Pentagistus: nudes of the world (12:06am)
Hermes Pentagistus: unite! (12:06am)
Hermes Pentagistus: moo !! milk me please ! my teats ache with pneumatic lactition (12:09am)
Hermes Pentagistus: now please or my busom will explode (12:10am)
Hermes Pentagistus: service me please (12:11am)
Hermes Pentagistus: NOW DAMMIT ! (12:11am)
Hermes Pentagistus: never mind -- too late -- there's milk everywhere -- and blood -- you could have helped but Nooooo... you had to talk talk talk --- (12:13am)
Hermes Pentagistus: no gnostics in foxholes either (12:14am)
Hermes Pentagistus: I void in your specific direction (12:17am)
Hermes Pentagistus: with extreme prejudice (12:17am)
Hermes Pentagistus: a dinosaur bit me -- please kiss my bobo (12:21am)
vj pussycat: whitey's on the moon (12:38am)

An evening of excellent guests and technical glitches. Nothing new.

Chatroom History
March 29, 2013 10:00pm - 1:11am

Hermes Pentagistus: dear dr hal --- i suffer from spontaneous enlightenment but still cannot hear your radio poocast please fix your buttons and what's this 250 mb archives ? i aint gots time to download 250 mb ! I gots porn to watch ! (10:11pm)
Hermes Pentagistus: all better now switched browsert from firefox to seamonkey (10:20pm)
Hermes Pentagistus: but 250 mb for archives is suq -- puddling effigy shows is only 20 megabites -- (10:22pm)
Hermes Pentagistus: but your show is so... so ...how shall I putt it ...a birdie, knocked cuckoo by the golf ballocks of you sloppy hacks (10:24pm)
Hermes Pentagistus: In the Bowels of Christ, I Beseech Thee : Get a Script ! (10:26pm)
Hermes Pentagistus: Stop ignoring me dammit or I'll keep posting here till you answer with a reply or vice versa. You blustering blowhard buffoons don't fool me. (10:30pm)
Hermes Pentagistus: okay you asked for it. Im gonna do a denial of access phone-in plus chatboard boredom ( like this ) on your sorry ass station until you look at me ! see the attached photo. (10:34pm)
Hermes Pentagistus: that's right, mofo -- you gotsed it right. Im baaaddd ! Im a domesticated terror ! (10:37pm)
Hermes Pentagistus: i tooked your tv and used it for my art : i pulverized the tube and microwaved it 3x to purple behold gold (10:39pm)
e_yazel: oh, calm down (10:42pm)
Hermes Pentagistus: you seem incredulous. By the foreskin of Assad you are an imbecilic infidel, i shall use your throbbing body to quench the temper of my damascus steel blade, infidel puppy ! (10:43pm)
Hermes Pentagistus: hot damn these are some good bath salts ! me hungry now go hunt mexican (10:45pm)
e_yazel: the feed seems to have gone out (10:47pm)
Hermes Pentagistus: i i i warned you i would hack your sorry ass if you didnt pay attention to ME ! Im off my feed, now you're off your feed. HaHaHa ! I rule ! Sign Me, Anonymous (10:50pm)
e_yazel: technology today only appears to be serving certain people (10:50pm)
Professor Skidwell: Conjecture pstench. (10:51pm)
NYCFeedsGoneToo: wah wah wah (10:51pm)
e_yazel: you are taking credit for this,hermes? (10:51pm)
Hermes Pentagistus: Im sorry my megalomania got the betterof me for a moment. I'll restore the feed asap (10:51pm)
Professor Skidwell: Four oh four (10:52pm)
e_yazel: oh. well.. i' m certain we'd be grateful (10:52pm)
Professor Skidwell: All my threes are fours! (10:53pm)
Hermes Pentagistus: after you pay me $1000000 via paypal; askdrhal@laughingsquid.net (10:53pm)
e_yazel: well. i never. (10:55pm)
Professor Skidwell: WE CAN'T HEAR YOU!!! (10:56pm)
Emil Franchel: What?! (10:56pm)
e_yazel: you only hacked the feed because you don't support same gender marriage equalities. (10:57pm)
e_yazel: and his marimba allstars (10:58pm)
Hermes Pentagistus: you bloody primitives -- you could paste the show script on the chatboard so we can have sto play with while we're waiting for you pretard poseurs. (10:58pm)
Hermes Pentagistus: my kyebaord is lysdexic (10:58pm)
e_yazel: you're a raging animal (10:59pm)
Emil Franchel: If you have been radiotized by me before, please leave the chatbox... (10:59pm)
Emil Franchel: for eleven mins... (11:00pm)
e_yazel: hey i never did. man. (11:00pm)
Hermes Pentagistus: oh the inhumanity ! (11:00pm)
e_yazel: restore this sound feed with haste (11:01pm)
e_yazel: be a man. (11:02pm)
Professor Skidwell: Too late for love. (11:02pm)
e_yazel: yes, the death of love. (11:02pm)
Hermes Pentagistus: gotta stash this ipod -- the guard is coming round, gotta go, byebye (11:03pm)
Pirate Jenny: Dead air! (11:03pm)
e_yazel: farewell, annoying lunatic, may angels speed your flight (11:04pm)
e_yazel: well if it isn't pirate jenny (11:04pm)
Shindignation!: what is going on here haha? (11:05pm)
Emil Franchel: Well, seems the signal is down for now... (11:05pm)
Professor Skidwell: Who is Pirate Jenny? (11:05pm)
e_yazel: you mean to say you hear nothing? (11:05pm)
Emil Franchel: It is still on the FM air style thing.. (11:05pm)
Emil Franchel: but we not on the netwebs (11:05pm)
Emil Franchel: . (11:05pm)
Professor Skidwell: Flying blind. (11:05pm)
e_yazel: pirate jenny? my coy mistress. (11:06pm)
Emil Franchel: In a circle of a mile and a half..if you pick it up in the mission, you can hear it until Oakland (11:06pm)
Dr. Penny: I just got in from a long night. The live stream is dead for me, too. (11:07pm)
e_yazel: who says? (11:07pm)
NYCFeedsGoneToo: feedsbacknow (11:07pm)
Emil Franchel: back up again (11:08pm)
Dr. Penny: Ahhhh, the stream is back up!!!!! :) (11:08pm)
e_yazel: so it is. michael peppy must have tripped over a table. (11:08pm)
Hermes Pentagistus: i hear you in my dentures here in las vegas (11:08pm)
e_yazel: bernsrd hermannnn (11:09pm)
Professor Skidwell: The sound of the mission again caresses the desert air. (11:09pm)
Emil Franchel: Dessert Airs? (11:09pm)
Dr. Penny: in lots of whipped cream with a cherry on top. (11:10pm)
Emil Franchel: Tom and Jerky stuupit. (11:12pm)
e_yazel: that wss great (11:12pm)
Professor Skidwell: Use an iPod in case of earworms, Dr. Hal. (11:13pm)
e_yazel: i dislike any sound from the new battlestar galactica (11:14pm)
Emil Franchel: Battle Creek star unlikes show. (11:14pm)
e_yazel: dialogue especially (11:14pm)
Hermes Pentagistus: Scriabin (11:15pm)
Dr. Penny: Michael Peppe!!!!!!!! WoooHoooooo!!!! (11:15pm)
Emil Franchel: Obliqise, of course (11:15pm)
e_yazel: the guy in midnight,s children gets esp from something up his nose (11:17pm)
e_yazel: he becomes psychic through an injury and freak accident (11:17pm)
Professor Skidwell: My the door is opened, if you become agree with me, therefore write me please. (11:20pm)
e_yazel: the poor brine shrimps (11:22pm)
e_yazel: arrest michael peppe now (11:23pm)
e_yazel: he owes a debt to society (11:25pm)
e_yazel: you call this a successful species?? (11:27pm)
Emil Franchel: You call this free? (11:29pm)
e_yazel: it is far from free. (11:30pm)
e_yazel: this. that is. (11:31pm)
e_yazel: whatta party animal hal is, huh? (11:35pm)
e_yazel: christ. (11:35pm)
e_yazel: stairway to heaven directed by michael powell (11:36pm)
e_yazel: and the other guy (11:37pm)
e_yazel: peeping tom is now lauded (11:38pm)
e_yazel: im sure peeping tom is eadily seen on the intertrons (11:39pm)
e_yazel: chrrbourg is good! (11:40pm)
e_yazel: catherine was in umbrellas (11:40pm)
Emil Franchel: M Peppe is corny all the way (11:41pm)
e_yazel: it was a fine movie (11:41pm)
e_yazel: read it instead (11:43pm)
e_yazel: read les miserables instead (11:43pm)
e_yazel: the music is annoying (11:44pm)
Emil Franchel: Frankie is annoying. (11:49pm)
e_yazel: petey the punk (11:50pm)
Professor Skidwell: How hard is it to get a decent mic on Dr. Hal? (12:10am)
Emil Franchel: Done. (12:12am)
Professor Skidwell: Better! (12:15am)
Professor Skidwell: Kitty is pleased. (12:17am)
e_yazel: i stepped away... didvt (12:22am)
e_yazel: did they lose something? (12:23am)
e_yazel: i ve read vellokovssky! (12:24am)
e_yazel: his vision id complex (12:25am)
e_yazel: emmanul vellovkovsky...he wasn't knowingly a fraud unlike these art bell guys (12:28am)
e_yazel: oh that call was such bullshit (12:41am)
e_yazel: even though it was me (12:41am)
Something is wrong: witht they mind murck (12:46am)
Something is wrong: with this cup' a Murchk (12:47am)
Something is wrong: with they mind selves (12:47am)
e_yazel: worlds in collision is simply speculating that enormous natural trsuma shaped our psychology. yhis was before raquel welch in dinofilms (12:48am)
e_yazel: writing weird books was all he had (12:49am)
e_yazel: natural events. it ain' such a bad book. too bad those academics didn' t understand. (12:52am)
EarthQuake: I Rule, Humee. (12:52am)
PupFish: I Win!!!! (12:54am)
e_yazel: you win. you are the answer tk pete's latest quiz (12:54am)
e_yazel: do you think the desert baked his very mind???? (12:55am)
e_yazel: and the watrrs parted from the waters (12:57am)
e_yazel: this is like pete is reading the bible (12:57am)
e_yazel: yeah read his gun piece and see those nasty people's comments (12:59am)
e_yazel: yeah marjorie (1:01am)

Needs a better summary too.

Chatroom History
March 22, 2013 10:00pm - 1:30am

hermes pentagismus: o thou show, ye mindless theater ! hear ye now : ye be sad sack souls in comical comas of derailed entrainment ... ye be bereft of brains : hotbeds of prions enfolding the void : a dios, fellow travailers ! ye be the very horror of babylon : your split tongues jabir alkemys for sale again. (11:17pm)
hermes pentagismus: silly refulgent trance mutants -- vortex dancers lie exhausted in plain slight of handy spider-love stumble bumming unto death (11:26pm)
party robot: beep beep chirp whir (11:28pm)
party robot: gads -- what maudlin twaddle ! (11:30pm)
pud pudding: please talk funny for me (11:33pm)
pud pudding: hahaha more joy joy now or i will cry on you (11:34pm)
pud pudding: never mind me go sleepy now bye bye bozos (11:35pm)
pud pudding: oops i changed mi mynd hello again (11:35pm)
pud pudding: seriously -- this time I am so gone ! (11:36pm)
Dr. Penny: If they can eat the stuff at Fisherman's Wharf, they'll eat tree lobsters. (12:07am)
e_yazel: those bell things were mostly frank capra directed (12:16am)
e_yazel: at least at first (12:19am)
Dr. Penny: Pete is obsessed with reverb (12:24am)
Salvador Golly: Milwaukee crew signing off (12:25am)
four peas stupid: chokinv is so stupid (1:19am)
four peas stupid: msybe one of yiu assholes will go to jail somedsy. serioudly. (1:20am)
four peas stupid: seriously (1:20am)

here's some crap Hal suggested as a summary: "Millions of years ago, giant dinosaurs roamed the earth. The temperatures, both on land and in the ocean, climbed much higher than during the Paleozoic, and climates tended to be more tropical in nature. Despite this, the seas were shallower, leaving different types of land masses for Life to inhabit. Overall, the Mesozoic Era was dryer than in the Paleozoic Era. There was more desert and less marshland. These warmer and drier conditions of the Mesozoic eventually called forth new reproductive methods in plants, as ferns and gymnosperms developed. Their strategy for reproduction allowed for better protection of the spores, or seeds, that would have to endure indefinite periods of drought, dormant, before reviving, activating their genetically determined growth mechanisms and growing into the new-fledged plants."

Chatroom History
March 15, 2013 10:00pm - 1:30am

jr "spud" seven: Doktor Hal! Dokto Hal! (10:30pm)
Salvador Golly: Hal, how can I make a donation to you??? (10:34pm)
Salvador Golly: This is for an important experiment. DON'T ASK WHAT THE EXPERIMENT IS! (10:35pm)
jr "spud" seven: Dr. Hal what is your opinion of Walter Benton? (10:49pm)
More_Volume_for_Rusty: THANK YOU on behalf of appreciators of audible poems (10:49pm)
Itsfaco: Believe (11:30pm)
Itsfaco: Fuck drones (11:34pm)
Itsfaco: Danger field king of comedy (11:50pm)
Drones: fuck you then (12:19am)
Dr. Penny: Pi squared, in square pie tins. (12:32am)

Uranium, a voluptuous element with really big atoms, is perfect for atom splitting because her strong force, though powerful, is relatively weak compared to other elements. Nuclear reactors use a particular isotope, lovely Uranium-235. The much-in-demand Uranium-235 doesn't appear often in a state of Nature; the ore from Uranium mines only contains about 0.7 percent U-235. That's why reactors make use of statuesque enriched Uranium, created by separating and concentrating the elusive element through a gas diffusion process. But you don't want to be around when she "goes off," no sir.
Better be safe at home listening to the Ask Dr. Hal! Show on Radio Valencia.

Chatroom History
March 8, 2013 10:00pm - 2:30am

Theo. v. Hohenheim: Your Show is having a strangely erotic effect upon my heaving busoms. It is clearly psychogenic... & so sudden -- even overwhelming in the instantaneity of it spontaneous compunction. Somebody help me, please ! (10:12pm)
Dr. Penny: T v. H, try inhailing a cinder! (10:15pm)
Theo. v. Hohenheim: It's neo-platonic aural sex -- very mucho dangerous! I've applied a prophylactic measure of castor oil 'installations' to void the urethra of any preliminary blockage of this awesome experience. (10:18pm)
Theo. v. Hohenheim: that didnt work at all (10:21pm)
Theo. v. Hohenheim: ooops did it again ! gosh darn my socks ! (10:21pm)
Theo. v. Hohenheim: well it was exquisitely poignani just got Show all over me , must ablute or else... t chatting with you but (10:23pm)
Theo. v. Hohenheim: stop jamming my keybored dammit (10:23pm)
Dr. Penny: Praise the sweet name of "Bob"! (10:24pm)
Dr. Penny: We love you Dr. Hal!!!!!!!!!!!!! (10:32pm)
Dr. Penny: just opened another bottle of beer. Everything is getting a bit blurry. (10:39pm)
Dr. Penny: Dr. Hal???? Why do sox sometimes smell funny? (10:59pm)
Dr. Penny: Dr. Hal???? When is the burning of the man like the burning of the bush? (11:05pm)
Karen Carpenter: SUre enough, I'm here (11:53pm)
Karen Carpenter: grfeatr party (11:54pm)
Karen Carpenter: !!! whoo hooo! (11:54pm)
::::::::: do you measure from the base on mars? (11:58pm)
Dr. Penny: bursting through, the Ask Dr. Hal show penetrates into the depths. (12:30am)
Dr. Penny: it'll be a cool cleanse. (12:39am)

He's off the hook! Someday he may figure out the phone system.

Chatroom History
March 1, 2013 10:00pm - 1:30am

Salvador Golly: Dr Hal chat stream warm up post (10:04pm)
Salvador Golly: I'M SPEAKING FROM THE FUTURE! For it is midnight here in Milwaukee Wisconsin (10:05pm)
Karen Carpenter: not me (10:05pm)
Karen Carpenter: oh noes! 45 minutes of substandard geniuses (10:06pm)
Salvador Golly: Dr Hal, if I used the "ask a question" PayPal link on askdrhal.com, would you actually be able to get it? (10:10pm)
Salvador Golly: Or would it get diverted in The Internet Tubes and you'd never see it? (10:10pm)
Salvador Golly: Have to go to bed, but answer it if you read it (10:13pm)
Karen Carpenter: http://bit.ly/14bSelPScrotum_humanum .jpg (10:27pm)
Theophrastus Bombastus von Hohenheim: dear sirs -- what is the vlency of your radio ? (10:37pm)
Dr. Penny: Chatter up. Chatter down. (10:37pm)
e_yazel: Bill Cosby takes no drugs, but he likes Jello Pudding Pops. TRAINS? I like trains. But I'd have to take a damned train to get to San Mateo, Damn it.. (10:41pm)
Sr Momma: I am checking now to see if there are any exsmall nipples present (10:41pm)
e_yazel: No, no, we are taling about TRAINS, now. (10:41pm)
Sr Momma: your show is toxoplasmotic tonite. keyboard stix creach oxygen switch (10:42pm)
e_yazel: There are s many great train ride vids on youtube, you can go around the world. (10:42pm)
Sr Momma: cant reach oxy.moron swatch (10:42pm)
Sr Momma: uterine irritability plus premanopausal stress makes me vomit. how about you? (10:44pm)
e_yazel: WHa?? (10:44pm)
e_yazel: If you wish to feel good, I can inform you of great train ride vids that might calm you down. (10:46pm)
e_yazel: Listne to Hal about this paleontology subject, he is correct about how we're being "railroaded" into specious beliefs about dinosaurs. (10:47pm)
Dr. Penny: Train cars teetering down the tracks. A vomit here. A vomit there. (10:48pm)
e_yazel: Well, then, just listen to his logic regarding this feathered dinosaur theory or oversimplification going on... (10:50pm)
e_yazel: He is very probably quite correct about the imbalance between common sense "hands on" science and real research and these misapprehensions currently taking over. (10:53pm)
Dr. Penny: They lay on the hands saddle the featherless dino and saur into the sky. (10:56pm)
e_yazel: And, yes, it has to do with laziness and computers but since computers are here, we must not let those who lack rigor take over this Brave New WOrld. Mental flaccidness takes over political science as well, these day, and this will not be allowed to stand! (10:57pm)
e_yazel: Tell it, Hal!!! (10:59pm)
Dr. Penny: Your voice is still coming through on the stream. (11:02pm)
e_yazel: The fact that the mainland Chinese fooled National Geographic doesn't surprise me AT ALL. Typical of the District of COlumbia, now. Even the hallowed halls of the National Geographic Society have pseudo scientists skulking about. It's a mess. Extend this into why we are in such a mess in general. (11:04pm)
e_yazel: in general. (11:04pm)
e_yazel: Hal is right about the conclusions which are jumped to nowadays it happens in political science and sociology as well. Daily. By highly paid, comfortable think tank folk in federal agencies. For both parties. (11:19pm)
e_yazel: In agencies, universities, etc. It's one of our largest problems as a civilization. (11:22pm)
e_yazel: If a suspicious and undemocratic government can construct "artifacts" that the National Geographic Society lays down and pants for, imagine what else is going on. (11:24pm)
Dr. Penny: Praise Dr. Hal!!!! (11:31pm)
Dr. Penny: Aunt Berta smoldering in the pipe of "Bob". (11:40pm)
Dr. Penny: Bringing the fightin' Jesus into the lungs of "Bob". (11:42pm)
Dr. Penny: It's the shining bright city of Dobbstown! There it is in the distance!!!!! We've arrived!!!!!! (12:42am)

In this episode, the show turns turtle as mythical kingdoms come to the fore, with a consideration of imports and exports, tariffs, protectionism and travel tips. No tortoises were harmed during the making of this broadcast; all depicted terrapin activity was supervised by armed, accredited Testudinologists from the so-called Tortoise-Shell Institute of Terra Nova, California. The Church of the SubGenius and "Old Sequaw" are registered trade marks and all rights are reserved in perpetuity by the Fortress of Stangor, Inc. Note: Native American shamans may not completely endorse the SubGenius annual rite of "Bobtism."

Symbolically, the subjects brought up represent a great and final battle, ultimately foretold to result in the overthrow of a number of major figures: Stang, Chicken John, G'Boag 'Fram, Dr. Hal, Puzzling Evidence, the Dalai Lama, KrOB and Francis E. Dec. The tradition speaks of the occurrence of various natural and man-made disasters, the rising from the depths of Old Sequaw and the subsequent submersion of the world in water. Afterward, the land will resurface anew and agatn be fertile, the surviving and returning radio gods will meet, and the world will be repopulated by two dull-witted human listeners, the only survivors.
Topics on the Ask Dr. Hal! radio show are often the subject of vigorous scholarly discourse and theory.

Chatroom History
February 22, 2013 10:00pm - 1:30am

Dr. Penny: You're coming in loud and clear Dr. Hal!!!!! :) (10:01pm)
e_yazel: wow, whadda party (10:25pm)
e_yazel: I'm not so "little"... (10:30pm)
e_yazel: not so very, anyhow (10:31pm)
e_yazel: I have no "hose problem"... what is this On AIr insinuation? (10:34pm)
e_yazel: Now they talk of Space Ghost Cheese (10:35pm)
malderor: what absolute twaddle. (10:35pm)
e_yazel: I guess Numbers Station Signallers are literally Radio Ghosts (10:39pm)
Audience: These guys are so full of theyselves (10:44pm)
Audience: Old Blah Blah (10:44pm)
Audience: Old rules for old guys... (10:45pm)
e_yazel: what has Roth got? (10:49pm)
e_yazel: The Human Stain by Philip Roth (10:52pm)
e_yazel: It's a great story! (10:54pm)
e_yazel: Love Story by Erich Segal (10:56pm)
e_yazel: Jonathan Livingston Segal (10:56pm)
Philo: You guys suck! Who's that new asshole? (10:57pm)
Philo: Those guys sound ancient! (10:58pm)
e_yazel: The Poseidon Adventure by Paul Gallico (10:58pm)
e_yazel: Airport by Arthur Haley (10:59pm)
Philo: Whut has God Rot? (11:00pm)
e_yazel: Oh, we like it, well enough. (11:01pm)
Philo: Nudist Hootie and Blowfish (11:01pm)
e_yazel: Chariots of the Gods by Erich Von Daniken (11:03pm)
e_yazel: Future Shock by Alvin Toffiefay and the Chipmunks (11:04pm)
e_yazel: Ancient Evenings by Normal Mailer (11:06pm)
e_yazel: Gore Vidal Sasooon's Kalki (11:07pm)
e_yazel: Once is Not Even Enough by Jacqueline "Jacko" Susann (11:09pm)
e_yazel: Sex and Yer Single Girl by Helen "Girlie" Brown (11:09pm)
Audience: they tooooooold for sex, them boys (11:13pm)
e_yazel: The Enormous Member : a Nancy Drew Mysteryby (11:15pm)
e_yazel: by Carolyn Keene (11:15pm)
e_yazel: The Battle of the Sexes by Billie Jean King and Bobby Riggs (11:18pm)
Audience: See? Nudes of G.W.BushMember (11:20pm)
Bruno: Sure is. (11:21pm)
e_yazel: Helter Johnson by Vincent BugmeoutSee? (11:21pm)
Bruno: No (11:21pm)
Bruno: Fuck Gerlach (11:21pm)
e_yazel: Fantastic Voyage adaaaaapted by Isaac Asimov (11:23pm)
e_yazel: Kansas City Bozombas by Raquel Welch (11:24pm)
e_yazel: Tom "He's Welsh" Jones by Henry F***ing Fielding (11:26pm)
The Jet People: He just jumped around?! (11:28pm)
The Jet People: NHLG #3 (11:29pm)
e_yazel: The Writing's On That Wall by Wally Ballou (11:29pm)
Hugo Danner: Knock it off. (11:31pm)
e_yazel: Hollywood Babylon by Kenneth Miffed (11:31pm)
Hugo Danner: I'm still hrererere (11:31pm)
e_yazel: No, no, you knock it off (11:31pm)
Hugo Danner: I'm at Bruno's (11:31pm)
Hugo Danner: meet me anf fite (11:31pm)
e_yazel: fine fine fine (11:32pm)
e_yazel: Brno Who??? (11:32pm)
Hugo Danner: Bruno's the only place to rock (11:32pm)
e_yazel: Bruno Bruno. (11:33pm)
M Peppe: 12 pizzas for the crew!! (11:34pm)
Philo: We're starving ourselves for our art and the children (11:35pm)
e_yazel: The Return of Bruno by Bruce Willis (11:35pm)
Philo: I will find sustenance (11:38pm)
e_yazel: R"my telephone is a Space Station!!!" (11:38pm)
Philo: Must eat!! (11:38pm)
e_yazel: "My library is a sewing room!" (11:39pm)
e_yazel: Eat life!!! Life! (11:39pm)
Philo: Candy shoe glhn (11:40pm)
e_yazel: "my kitchen is an art gallery!" (11:41pm)
e_yazel: The Disorderly Orderly Wins Best Picture of 1966 Oscar (11:43pm)
e_yazel: The Small Hadron Collider, the AVergae-sized Hadrian Collidor (11:51pm)
e_yazel: The SMall or Average Hadrian's Steed Collidor (11:51pm)
Philo: Success!!!! (11:52pm)
e_yazel: i'm too busy listening to this damned show, I should be editing and fact-checking (11:52pm)
e_yazel: All American women roll their eyes, now. AT everything. Don't be offended. (11:54pm)
e_yazel: I know it's weird, mixed medium, don't even lookhere. (11:56pm)
e_yazel: "The Boss"... sings Born to Run and other hits (11:57pm)
e_yazel: U2's Bono sings "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Singing For" (12:00am)
e_yazel: everything/everyone DO look for further Harry S robins writings THIS WEEKEND on rawstory.com at Culture Clutch (12:02am)
Grand Theft County: Neg'land (12:02am)
e_yazel: Robins, that is.. you know.. Dr. Hal.. okay! okay okay!!!!!! (12:03am)
Grand Theft Conty: singing "what ever I was looking for haven't found (12:06am)
Dr. Penny: The Pope-mobile has taken off (12:18am)
Philo: Ass dr How? (12:20am)
Philo: You can't drink on the radio (12:24am)
Prazak: Thanks Hal (12:54am)
Prazak: and Philo Drumhead (12:54am)
Play 4 Today: robo dj not sending to board (1:14am)

Radio Valencia built a beautiful large, functional studio. The subgenii Dr. Hal, Ivan Stang, Puzzling Evidence, Spy, KrOB, Philo Drummond, and Michael Peppe demonstrate that seven heads are less than one, as the struggle for audio dominance in a perfect booth with one microphone. Blame pilot error for the horrible results.

Chatroom History
February 15, 2013 10:00pm - 1:30am

Salvador Golly: Dr. Hal logging on (10:03pm)
Jimmy Savile: Could someone please come to the city morgue and let me out ? Im locked in... it's cold... Im stiff ... so is he ... somebody help me, please (10:13pm)
Holy_Fuck: No. (10:17pm)
Chris Dorner: Can I hide outat your place for a few days ? (10:17pm)
Holy_Fuck: On , very funny (10:17pm)
Holy_Fuck: I mean "Oh, very funny" sarcastically. (10:19pm)
Chris Dorner: I dont believe you. You're a liar ! Idding you to my shitlist right now. (10:20pm)
Chris Dorner: I mean: "Im adding" stupit keybored (10:21pm)
Rabbi Pink: Why won't my foreskin grow back ? (10:24pm)
Holy_Fuck: get philo off of there, he is so dull (10:25pm)
Holy_Fuck: he rarely says anything all that interesting (10:26pm)
Rabbi Pink: Please join my class action lawsuit vs Zion -- We seek compensation for lost sexual sensitivity (10:27pm)
Rabbi Pink: we want our foreskins back (10:27pm)
skidwich: i am stimulated. sexually. (10:27pm)
Rabbi Pink: I am simulated sectionally (10:28pm)
skidwich: can i be philo? (10:29pm)
Rabbi Pink: Wow ! My foreskin is growing back -- Dr Hal, you are a miracle worker... a Messiah! Thank you thank you thank you ! (10:30pm)
Doktor W.: Sniffer of carrion, premature gravedigger, seeker of the nest of evil in the bosom of a good word, you, who sleep at our vigil and fast for our feast, you with your dislocated reason, have cutely foretold, a jophet in your own absence (10:31pm)
Jane Hyperclitoris: I may be pobucker but i know when Im being hornswoggled. You think I don't know what "jophet" means, hunh ? Hunh? (10:37pm)
Doktor W.: BEHOLD the show stone (10:41pm)
Al Magnus: your sophistry fails the test ptism of baphomet. you are naught but a foolish poseur, a puffer, a blustering blowhard buffoon. you are not qualified to pump my bellows, silly chymist (10:47pm)
Al Magnus: frickin keybord -- test of the fire, the secret baptism of baphomet (10:49pm)
Doktor W.: You were a kid once to. (10:50pm)
Al Magnus: was not was not was not (10:50pm)
Doktor W.: Damned blinking instruments! What buttons do i push?!?! (10:52pm)
Al Magnus: I cannot tell you : I refuse to throw my pork before wise guys. (10:53pm)
Doktor W.: That I be exiled from all truth... (10:54pm)
Doktor W.: Very well, I'll be waiting on the porch. (10:56pm)
Al Magnus: expatriated from all lies (10:56pm)
Salvador Golly: Smashing and swearing works well (10:56pm)
Al Magnus: fricative impaction & cussing doesn't play well (10:57pm)
Al Magnus: on 3rd thought -- i beg to defer... i stoop to concur ... forgive my impudence, please (10:59pm)
Salvador Golly: Did anyone else hear Stang's voice swoon when Spy emerson sat down next to him (11:02pm)
Karen Allen: not Margot Kidder, was Bridges' co-star in STARMAN. (11:04pm)
Anne Frank: Hello -- I am selling an original ballpoint pen copy first edition of my famous Diary so I can buy breast implants and botox. Please visit my eBay ad and bid ! (11:06pm)
Anne Frank: I am also selling my hymen and labial trimmings to pay for liposuction and a tummy tuck. Please bid in my ebay auction ! (11:11pm)
Jacques Dauphin: You americans talk a lot of twaddle with your englishing, but I tell you this -- someday the Merovingian dynasty will rise again ! Then everyone will speak French ! Phooey ! I pyroflatulate in your particular direction ! (11:16pm)
s'mores: hey now! (11:16pm)
Holy_Fuck: But isn't that what Argo is about? (12:30am)
Holy_Fuck: Ben Affleck grabbed that matter already. Bastard. (12:31am)
Holy_Fuck: yes, the thing about comic books with superheroes is that they became very one-note (12:35am)