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BILLY AND TIMMY GO TO HELL
May 29, 2020 10:00pm

 

Ask Dr Hal
BILLY AND TIMMY GO TO HELL
--AND A DOUGHTY DOLLOP OF DOUBLE DAMNATION to those who dare to mock "Aunt Bertha's" bromides. The great Phineas Narco provided telling edits from some of the Children's Bible Hour (not affiliated with the Slackless Children's Dinosaur Fund) broadcasts back in the day. What Day? The Day that preceded the Night, the Endless Night in which we now live. Kids, if we've said it once we've said it six hundred and sixty-six times: Don't Mess With The Occult. No, really. You can't win. The odds are not in your favor. The House always collects. Look at Faust. Look at the late (Demon-chewed) Julian Karswell. And look at the poor, suffering, wispy, drifting, semi-transparent Ghost of the once-live Ask Dr. Hal! Show, doomed to perpetual torment in Adamantine Chains and Penal Fire. But, meanwhile, there is a distant sawing, a tapping... close by, many furtive, clandestine hands are secretly setting up... wait for it... The New Studio. Yes, THAT New Studio. Soon, if we get our sealed orders from Washington, there will be... new shows? The Future is an unknowable landscape, Etherettes and Rocket Rookies.

THE VISIT FROM V.J. PUSSYCAT
May 22, 2020 10:00pm

 

Ask Dr Hal
THE VISIT FROM V.J. PUSSYCAT
IS ANOTHER RE-RUN, this time from August 2nd, 2019. And so it goes. Meanwhile, the new studio space HAS been acquired by RV's tireless staff, and will soon be set up when... when "all this is over?" Ohh, nooooo... Well, we guess for now it's still re-runs, Etherettes and Rocket Rookies. But slowly, slowly, increment by increment, we creep toward an envisaged future day when we actually do some new shows. This one's from last summer. Thanks from all of us here at Ask Dr. Hal! for keeping the faith. Special thanks to the timely contribution of listener Rev. Deer Friend, a.k.a. C.A. Towns of Austin, Texas to the Slackless Children's Dinosaur Fund (SCDF). This donation has enabled us to add significantly to our collection of prehistoric animal sculpts, including the gigantic ancient elephantoform the Paleoloxodon, which some think lapped even the enormous Paraceratherium in size. Now the problem will be, where will we put it?

THE COCOON
May 15, 2020 10:00pm

 

Ask Dr Hal
THE COCOON
ORIGINALLY PODCAST NOVEMBER 19th, 2019, this re-run begins with Dr. H. Owll's reading of a short story, from the pantheon of frightening stories, that always scared the bejeezus out of him. It all started in the lead-up to Halloween of that year. Of course, these days every day is, yes, Halloween-- but not, however, in anything like a good way. We have to discourage consumption of candy, for example. But, if you're of a mind to, settle in and absorb this squirming concoction of Insect Fear by John B.L. Goodwin, from the late Ray Bradbury's unmatched anthology TIMELESS STORIES FOR TODAY AND TOMORROW. This one goes out to all who are "bugged" by their current circumstances, heh, heh...

INFLEXIBLE LOGIC, A STORY
May 8, 2020 10:00pm

 

Ask Dr Hal
INFLEXIBLE LOGIC, A STORY
BY RUSSELL MALONE, originally published in THE NEW YORKER in 1940, begins this re-run (but what else is possible?) episode, podcast back in the Impact Arts Hub days on December 6th, 2019. What if you assembled a bunch of chimpanzees, chained them in front of typewriters and let them bang away? According to the theory of mathematical probability, they would eventually write all the books in the British Museum. In the story, a rich man hears this bit of often-related trivia at a cocktail party and, fascinated, sets just that situation up. It doesn't end well, we are prompted to say. This story is found in the Ray Bradbury-edited anthology TIMELESS STORIES FOR TODAY AND TOMORROW. We wish we knew today when we might be able to do our show live again tomorrow. Whoever from our former audience is left to listen to these re-presented shows has our heartfelt thanks.

THE SOUND MACHINE
May 1, 2020 10:00pm

 

Ask Dr Hal
THE SOUND MACHINE
BY ROALD DAHL, a famous short story performed by Dr. H. Owll, leads off this re-run episode originally podcast, in pre-Pandemic days, just before the end of 2019, on December 27th. The idea that plants and trees use sound beyond the threshold of human perception to communicate, the literary conceit animating this tale, has proven to be TRUE in recent years. Trees, plants and insects constantly send signals to each other-- that's been scientifically understood for awhile. But the most recent investigations into infra-sound are now showing that flowers DO scream when clipped or picked, for example. Yes, it's all about the auditory medium here on the show, where we wait to get going again with real, live shows in vain. It's a matter of faith, we suppose. Either Radio Valencia will return in full or it will remain a group of people playing music remotely, from home. The Ask Dr. Hal! Show thanks everyone still listening to these performances. Listening...

THE HOUNDS OF TINDALOS
April 24, 2020 10:00pm

 

Ask Dr Hal
THE HOUNDS OF TINDALOS
THIS RE-RUN-- because what could it be but another re-run? --appeared in its original form not too long ago. In fact, it was the last live show we did, on January 17th of this year. In addition to performing Lovecraft Circle-aligned Frank Belknap Long's story, we hosted the vivacious Spy Emerson and the beautiful Jennalex as guests. This was at the late, but not that lamented Impact Arts Hub, just before the Impact of that selfsame shifty and cryptic organization laid us low, pushing us into a ditch whose sides have turned out to be too muddy to allow us to climb up and out of it without assistance, which aid circumstances have yet, to date, to offer.

ROBO-DJ RAMPAGE
April 17, 2020 10:00pm

 

Ask Dr Hal
ROBO-DJ RAMPAGE
THIS "EPISODE" actually contains NO Ask Dr. Hal! Instead, a cybernetically selected potpourri of different Radio Valencia shows is heard, the content of these mostly music of various kinds... To hear an actual Ask Dr. Hal! show, try downloading the show listed before, or right after, this one. As for what may be heard in this space, the presentation features what it sounds like when NO Ask Dr. Hal! show is to be heard on the station. To be fair, this all came about because when the time was pending for us to select the usual re-run to be played, that didn't happen. In short, we just... forgot to do it. It is difficult to sustain interest in the entire enterprise, you see, when we're only able to offer recycled previous episodes of dubious audio quality. And yet, we still sustain some hope that the night will come when we can, as in pre-Pandemic days, once again offer up a fresh, crisp and previously unheard entree of... whatever it is that we do. Beware! The Robot Revolution is here!

BETTIE PAGE MEETS THE WOLFMAN
April 10, 2020 10:00pm

 

Ask Dr Hal
BETTIE PAGE MEETS THE WOLFMAN
YES, ANOTHER DING-DANGED RE-RUN. What can we say? Is it enjoyable? Entertaining? Does the sound quality preclude listening pleasure? We know some listen. But all must wait for the Interdict to end, and we cannot do any new shows, though some are prepared, until we can physically get into Radio Valencia's new space and that aforementioned space has been set up and made viable. This show was from September 23rd, 2016. Yes, pre-Trump-- by nine days. A different world, now longingly viewed through the haze of nostalgia. Yog-Sothoth, bring this mess to an end.

AT HOME WITH THE MUNSTERS
April 3, 2020 10:00pm

 

Ask Dr Hal
AT HOME WITH THE MUNSTERS
A RE-RUN SHOW from September 23rd, 2016. Ah, what a pleasure it was then to do live shows. Supposedly, "someday," the opportunity to continue will reappear. Until then, we are frozen in place in icy stasis, unable to reach friends and fans of the show. But it does hearten us greatly, during this eternal winter, to hear that many are still huddled listening to these re-runs. We are more than glad that they somehow continue on their mission to entertain. And-- a tip of the Dr. Hal chapeau to faithful fellow traveler and listener Mob Meattie of Washington, DC, whose unexpected contribution (to the Slackless Children's Dinosaur Fund) helps us spiritually, as well as financially, during an uneasy confinement. We doff the ADH Fez to you, sir, dear friend. And so... now we offer this former podcast, with its visit to 1313 Mockingbird Lane. Not all the Munsters happened to be home, but Herman-- Herman was hospitable and friendly, as he tends to be.

PEDANTRY UNDER THE DOME--
March 27, 2020 10:00pm

 

Ask Dr Hal
PEDANTRY UNDER THE DOME--
ANOTHER RE-RUN--WHAT ELSE? Without a physical Studio, shows like ours, with incidental music and guests, simply can't go on. Maddeningly, the same desultory talk still persists about how a great new space is coming, et cetera... The aforementioned Space, you may have heard, is right next to the ultra-groovy Make-Out Room. Ooh! That'll bring us lots of attention. Except... well, there happens to be a pandemic going on. The owners of the Make-Out have left the state, and there is NO indication that that club will ever come back and re-open, along with everything else which we will look for in vain after the fading of the Coronavirus. There is an ongoing (Republican) economic coup, and an inevitable Depression is headed our country's way; using the shutdown as an excuse the wealthiest and most ruthless will take away everything that isn't nailed down, as is their usual wont. Expect a push to transfer all remaining commercial interaction to the Digital world. Meanwhile, ominously, more RV-ers are getting comfortable with shooting their shows in remotely, an option unavailable to some of us. Frankly, it doesn't look good. Just the same, as you can see, Etherettes and Rocket Rookies, we're still holding on for the time being, daring to hope that there is a way out of this impasse that won't result in our taking our show to somewhere else, perhaps in the realm of actual radio. This episode was originally podcast back in April 28th, 2017, and features, among others, the much-abused Goldies, the late Pete and Frau G., Sarah Zee. The low audio quality is nothing we can do anything about. For legal reasons, the Management likes it that way. Find the shows we're now doing on Friday nights these days, such as they are, on Reloadio, by going to Reloadio on Facebook. Good luck!

FUNNY-- YOU DON'T LOOK KAIJU-ISH
March 20, 2020 10:00pm

 

Ask Dr Hal
FUNNY-- YOU DON'T LOOK KAIJU-ISH
AND SO, WITH NO END IN SIGHT TO THE PLAGUE outside, or to the lasting absence of a Radio Valencia studio-- possibly, says the rumor mill, we'll re-open in May? --what we have here is, as you have guessed, yet another re-run. But what else can we do? THANKS, by the way, to all those who are still listening to these. Would that the audio quality were better. But it can't be. Legally, as it turns out. Because: copyright. Yes, the world of computers does not allow for "Fair Use," as we used to call it. Under the inflexible tyranny of digital ubiquity-- get used to it! --NO music can be played in a form that is reproducible from the listening end. Of course, here at ADH, music is mainly an effect-- part of what we offer and not the ne plus ultra, the be-all and the end-all. But we have to wear the same chains as everyone else. Why, I tell you there are whole towers full of usually young, usually bearded, usually ectomorphic, young-ish men whose ENTIRE FUNCTION is to monetize whatever used to be free. These are what your soi-dissant "tech" workers are usually up to. The ability of the ultra-rich to make themselves ultra-richer trumps (an appropriate expression) any claim of literature, art or civilization. The humanities are merely fuel for their bonfire. Well, Sir or Madam, this episode was originally podcast May 26th, 2017, when the late Dr. Peter Goldie was still permitted to contribute to the station. Only yesterday... Keep a-listenin', O faithful ones, Etherettes and Rocket Rookies. One of these days we'll emerge from our long slumber, unfold, spread and dry our new wings and take to the sky...

A MULTI-KAIJU ADIEU, ANOTHER RE-RUN--
March 13, 2020 10:00pm

 

Ask Dr Hal
A MULTI-KAIJU ADIEU, ANOTHER RE-RUN--
THIS TIME FROM June 23rd, 2017, an episode with the late, great Pete Goldie, a.k.a. Karen Carpenter, aboard. Still, still no word is forthcoming, though, on when or whether the exile of Radio Silencia into non-existence may be expected to end. But, by now, even if "the Station" were to come back this very week, we are now utterly committed to do a Tribute Show for Pete on Reloadio at our scheduled showtime next Friday. How to get to Reloadio? GO to Reloadio on Facebook, where you can find out how to listen live. Remember, you can't download episodes and listen to them at your leisure on Reloadio, which is actual radio, among other things. We hope you'll tune in. As for this RadioValencia show, it may be downloaded and played at any time. We hear that we still have listeners (despite the degraded quality from an inferior bit-rate), which is encouraging even in these Plague times when everything else is choked to a standstill. Of course, there will be one more re-run in this space next time. Let's hope the fates will relent, and it will be the last one for a while...

BIG DOWNTOWN SCIENCE SHOWDOWN--
March 6, 2020 10:00pm

 

Ask Dr Hal
BIG DOWNTOWN SCIENCE SHOWDOWN--
A RE-RUN FROM JUNE 9TH, 2017-- we offer because we are still without a studio here at Radio Silencia-- Oops! I meant Valencia, heh, heh! In truth, though, there are definite signs in the Noosphere that this period of exile and stasis may, mercifully, come to an end before long. Let's get it built. Then we will gleefully resume our usual weekly presentation, with guests and special features, and, re-assembling our afflicted powers, consult how we might best bring back our former audience. This recorded show from three years past featured our good friend and fellow traveler, the late Dr. Pete Goldie, extemporizing entertainingly on various subjects. We at Ask Dr. Hal! are fortunate in having multiple archival recordings of Pete, some from the live show, where he would deliver the Space Science Report. During this interruption of service, in the meantime, we have been appearing Fridays at 10:00 PM on Reloadio, Pete's radio station creation. As we play "the Classics" here, we are found there, as Pete would have wanted.

LEGENDS OF SMITH'S BURST
February 28, 2020 10:00pm

 

Ask Dr Hal
LEGENDS OF SMITH'S BURST
BY BRIAN W. ALDISS, an unfairly neglected and superior literary work, in our opinion, read by Dr. H. Owll, originally recorded at an X-Day Drill a number of years ago-- this is the principal feature of another selected re-run episode. Perhaps the fact that it is, essentially, only the sound of a single voice will render this entertainment endurable, despite the low quality of the recording, deliberately so maintained by the shadowy RadioValencia Powers That Be to avoid esoteric legal entanglements. We must, meanwhile, persist in the resolute faith that we will, at some relatively near-future date, get back to doing our former show, which, for all its flaws, had some variety and energy going for it. Yes, we will return, make our way back from this shadowy limbo of non-existence (where we find ourselves through no fault of our own) to broad, sunny and well-lit uplands. Well, it goes without saying we're dying by inches over here-- until they actually get a studio going. But, if we do return then, will any listeners be left?

FLAILING, FLAILING (Re-run)
February 21, 2020 10:00pm

 

Ask Dr Hal
FLAILING, FLAILING (Re-run)
THE SERVICE INTERRUPTION CONTINUES and we are unable to offer a new show. Everything depends on RadioValencia's ability to secure a new studio space. That still hasn't happened, however. When, if ever, will it? Oh, how we long to be able to do new shows again. The consensus is just not able to agree on which potential location to use, and we are dark, dark as our expectations that this interminable problem will ever be ended. In the meantime, we offer perennial guest Michael Peppe's most memorable moments.

SALTOPUS ELGINENSIS (RE-RUN)
February 14, 2020 10:00pm

 

Ask Dr Hal
SALTOPUS ELGINENSIS (RE-RUN)
OF COURSE IT'S A RE-RUN. The ongoing Search For A New Studio still has not turned up anything, or at least anything agreeable to all (contentious) participants. No studio, no show-- that's the way it works for us. Without the physical existence of an equipped studio, this show can't be put out. While they argue and move toward a location which may be extraordinarily difficult for us to use, Time stretches on, and... we can feel the audience disconnecting, disappearing. Goodbye, audience! We hope, perhaps, to build you up again. Thanks for your former support, yet we know you have but human patience. Also and nearly equally grievous to us at Ask Dr. Hal! is the inferior bit-rate at which these re-runs are presented. If only it were better. There was a movement toward improving it, but we hear that it has now "fallen through." We hold on to a small hope that someone "out there" will still actually listen in, in spite of this degraded sound quality. We have been broadcasting on Reloadio these Friday nights, but there's no accessing those files from here. It hasn't been the Ask Dr. Hal! Show anyway. This re-run episode: A discussion of the edibility of the archosaurian, perhaps dinosaurian archaic reptile Saltopus elginensis. For those interested, scroll down to the Notes for Episode #2019, originally podcast May 17th, 2019, for the mouth-watering recipe.

RUMINATONS-- THE "HIDDEN SIDE"
February 7, 2020 10:00pm

 

Ask Dr Hal
RUMINATONS-- THE "HIDDEN SIDE"
ANOTHER RE-RUN (of course), a show in this case originally podcast September 6th, 2019. There is still no studio to do live shows in. But Radio Valencia is endeavoring to find a studio space. The search continues. While this played, we were a guest on Reloadio, along with KrOB and Puzzling Evidence. But Reloadio can't be downloaded. Only those who were listening on Friday night got to hear it. Until there is a studio, there can only be re-runs.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE...
January 31, 2020 10:00pm

 

Ask Dr Hal
THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE...
...AS LONG AS IT MAY LAST. Your patience, that is, AND the regrettable indisposition of whatever is RadioValencia.FM. This episode is, perforce, a re-run, since in the current state of things we can't get to do, or post, a new Ask Dr. Hal! podcast. The search for a New Space for the station continues; that's all we're able to say. And, looming is the possibility that such a locus may end up precluding our continuing with the show anyway. Why? Well, one possible roost is a B.A.R.T. train ride away, with an additional walk. That would be fine, except of course for the fact that our current time slot ends, at earliest, an hour after Midnight. And the flaw in the ointment here, Etherettes and Rocket Rookies, is that the B.A.R.T. trains stop running at Midnight, which would leave us stranded at a late hour in a distant and exotic location, e.g. Balboa Park. Oh, well, who can peer into the Abysm of Time to see what finally goes down? If only we had Joseph Smith and his "Magic Peepstone" to "scry" for us. Well, in this exhumed former ADH presentation we featured the 1945 Lux Radio Theater production (No. 488) of THE CANTERVILLE GHOST by Oscar Wilde, starring Charles Laughton and Margaret O'Brien. A few years back we were working in Hollywood on a script about Oscar Wilde. The studio, our employer, gave us the disc of this show among other possibly helpful materials. Being quite familiar with Wilde's haunting, beautiful (and funny) story, we didn't play it at the time. But on this show we did, at last, play the disc, expecting a professionally produced, entertaining version of the tale. What we got, though, was scratchy, frequently interrupted by blaring ads for Lux soap-- and did not have, we found, anything more than a superficial resemblance to Wilde's story at best-- the adaptation by Edwin Blum shoehorned in all sorts of crap about "lovable" doofus G.I.s stationed in wartime England, distorting the whole venture into propaganda-infused Low Comedy. But, having started, we gritted our remaining teeth and let it play. So there's that, and the usual poems and mix. Just three hours this time, though... May it please the Gods we return, before our abused audience haemorrhages away forever...

INTERRUPTION OF SERVICE
January 24, 2020 10:00pm

 

Ask Dr Hal
INTERRUPTION OF SERVICE
THIS EPISODE IS A RE-RUN, featuring the Richard Matheson story, "Drink my Blood" and "The Mindworm" by C. M. Kornbluth. It was put in place because the Ask Dr. Hal! Show is not able to continue live at the present time. The building housing RadioValencia.FM has evicted the station, along with its primary tenant, the soi-dissant Impact Arts Hub. The recording/podcasting studio has been dismantled and is no more.

Basically, Impact Hub SF abandoned all of its subtenants. It has recently come to light that its directors actually knew, as much as a year or so ago, that their set-up was, shall we say, not economically viable. Now we find that they had stopped paying their rent, but continued to collect it from RadioValencia. For more on this distasteful subject, paste the following in your browser:

https://missionlocal.org/2020/01/san-franciscos-impact-hub-coworking-space-is-facing-eviction/

We had a show planned for this scheduled episode and hope to present it when RadioValencia.FM finds and moves into a new studio space.

It's particularly painful for us at Ask Dr. Hal! to be interrupted at this time, since we planned to take an on-air moment to announce our appreciation to donors to the Slackless Children's Dinosaur Fund, whose contributions recently enabled us to secure many wonderful new specimens of prehistoric life. When we are again up and running, we wish to thank them individually during our program.

To mention just two, Rev. A. Stoot "Fishy" Nardo of Lilburn, Georgia, made it possible for us to acquire a figure of Shringasaurus, an extinct genus of archosauromorph reptile from the Middle Triassic (Anisian) of India. This was something we have wanted, but were unable to afford, for a long time. The generous contribution of Rev. Bubba of Aptos, California, enabled us to receive into our collection new effigies of Brontosaurus (scientifically restored as a valid genus), Sarchosuchus, Prestosuchus, Edaphosaurus-- a magnificent realization-- Gomphotherium, Dimetrodon, Ceratosaurus, Postosuchus, Archaeopteryx and Ornithomimus. Your generosity and loyalty to the show inspires our highest hope to continue when we can. To all our listeners in this country and overseas, we extend thanks with the wish that you will support our return and continuing Mission.

THE HOUNDS OF TINDALOS...
January 17, 2020 10:00pm

 

Ask Dr Hal
THE HOUNDS OF TINDALOS...
"THE GREEKS HAD A NAME FOR THEM, which veiled Their essential foulness. The Tree, the Snake and the Apple --these are the vague symbols of a most awful Mystery... a terrible and unspeakable Deed was done in the Beginning. Before Time, the Deed... the seeds of the Deed move through angles in dim recesses of Time." --Frank Belknap Long. "Unusual excellence" --Eudora Welty. Beforehand, the initial recitation for this week's iteration was from Dylan Thomas. Followed next our performance of The Hounds, then an all-new Archival Sampling from SubGenius HQ, then some of the edited Aunt Berthapocalypse of Phineas Narco-- then, the entrance of wanderers of the night Spy Emerson and Jennalex. Puzzling Evidence, too, is there in the stew. Much took place in the studio until all were satisfied. Is this our final bow? Or, our final bow for now? Or, we may continue. We are at the mercy of large, clumsy and impersonal forces. Let us hope we shall be preserved, caught up in the Lap of the Gods.


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