listen!
starring Dr. Hal !
INFLEXIBLE LOGIC, A STORY
December 6, 2019 10:00pm

 

BY RUSSELL MALONEY, WHICH ORIGINALLY APPEARED in THE NEW YORKER in 1940, looks at a popular and proverbial illustration of the mathematics of probability, widely known to the general public because of its transmission through popular culture-- rather than being referenced in the classroom. This is the so-called Infinite Chimpanzee Theorem, often called, by the taxonomically ignorant, the Infinite Monkey Theorem. According to this, given enough time, six chimpanzees, pounding randomly away at typewriters, would, eventually, write all the books in the British Museum. The image easily stays in the mind.

However, it should be noted as a matter of course that this iconic situation over-simplifies or confuses important aspects of the different scales of the concepts involved: Infinity, Probability and Time-- all of these being in measures beyond average human experience, practical comprehension or comparison.

Later in the show, the dazzling Sarah Zee, by special arrangement with Reloadio, enthralls with a relation of her struggles to retain an outer garment. The segment is touched by the usual delay problem, but surmounted by the inherently compelling nature of the topic. Puzzling Evidence is the show's special guest.

THE COCOON,
November 22, 2019 10:00pm

 

BY JOHN B.L. GOODWIN, leads the Show this time, in another unabridged reading by Dr. H. Owll. An inexplicable (and uniquely horrible) "Insect Fear" story which impressed itself on our impressionable mind when we were a child, its hideous denouement never fails to impress, although we still, after all these years, are without a complete understanding of what actually happened in the tale. The unknown moth-- as its body disintegrated, did its vengeful spirit take form to wreak hideous malice on the child protagonist? Did a giant of its species invade the boy's room in the night? Was the fault the father's, for failing to lend the tobacco jar? And was young Denny's desiccated corpse... exsanguinated? His parent noted the unusual lightness of the corpse. Oh, well, heigh-ho. Another frightful Supernatural narrative in the series, which we expect to continue. Those who don't like the stories can just join us after the first half hour. Puzzling Evidence and KrOB, eventually, paid us a visit. And we also concluded with a horror yarn, as they used to say in the old Pulp Magazine days, "The Vaults of Yoh-Vombis" by Clark Ashton Smith. Onward!

CRITICS OF THE SHOW SPEAK UP
November 15, 2019 10:00pm

 

NOT EVERYONE IS SATISFIED with the contents of the Ask Dr. Hal! Show these days, we find. In particular, we have recently been taken to task by correspondents for "excessive morbidity" and even, in the words of one listener, "ghoulishness." This is all in reference to the introductory readings by Dr. H. Owll of short stories from the canon of the literature of Horror and the Supernatural. More recently, we were accused of "egotism" in our attempt to answer, mid-show, a question concerning the Akashic Records. These, a compendium of all human events, thoughts, words, emotions, and intent ever to have occurred, are believed by Theosophists to be encoded in a non-physical plane of existence known as the Aetheric Plane. The Sanskrit term, Akasha, was introduced to the language of Theosophy by its most familiar exponent, H. P. Blavatsky (1831–1891), who characterized it as a sort of Life Force; she also referred to "indestructible Tablets of the Astral Light" recording both the past and future of human thought and action. We don't recall Madame Blavatsky calling these tablets (take two with meals and at bedtime) "Akashic Records," however. Remember, this question was lobbed at us mid-show. Our answer was, or attempted to be, that anything already recorded, on this plane or another, had already transpired and was not, therefore, a significator of ongoing or future events. The best we could do on short notice. As for our overweening ego, guilty as charged. At least we didn't mention we preferred the Records at 33 & 1/3 or 78 RPM. And our morbid preoccupations-- sure! We've got 'em. The literature of the Supernatural, you see, primarily stands as a warning against the so-called Occult. The same may also said to be true for many scientific, or quasi-scientific tales, if we accept as Occult what is hidden, or unknown, such as the featured story beginning this episode, THE QUEST FOR BLANK CLAVERINGI by Patricia Highsmith. Yes, the protagonist is painfully devoured by a giant snail at the end. It's so. What puzzles us is why such fastidious and easily-offended respondents are listening to us in the first place. Introduction: The Last Oblivion, by Clark Ashton Smith. "The Quest For Blank Claveringi" by Patricia Highsmith. Address by Dr. H. Owll at the Starwood Pagan Festival, 2019, subject: "Deflecting the Conspiracy." Studio Guest Dr. Penny asks us a series of questions. Arrival of Puzzling Evidence and KrOB. Dr. P. reads Tijuana Bible verse (Adults Only). Tooth-achey Peppe complains from afar (disguised, on Chatterbox)-- get dental help, dear Peppe! Dr. P. reads from Chatterbox. Phineas Narco presents Aunt Berthapocalypse. Fade out is about half an hour before recording ends, but we lack the know-how to cut it short. NEXT WEEK: MORE Gruesome Literature!

PRE-HALLOWEEN SPECIAL EDUCATION III: "DRINK MY BLOOD..."
October 25, 2019 10:00pm

 

...BY RICHARD MATHESON (1926-2013), followed by "The Mindworm" by Cyril M. Kornbluth (1923-1958) together with poetry (some bungled), a Capella singing and layered audio mixes, featuring Kelly Cash, Ivan Stang, Dr. Philo Drummond, Michael Peppe, the late Whitman McGowan and others. A rumination on the Rhedosaurus and THE BEAST FROM 20,000 FATHOMS. No guests were entertained; there were no guests to entertain. A solo show-lo. Some would like these tales to be a continuing feature, and for us to read horror stories AFTER Halloween. Perhaps... perhaps we will, heh, heh, heh... There are those, however, it should be noted, who have taken issue with what they refer to as the "morbid preoccupation" of some of the recent presentations. These objections, and others, will be taken up in a future program.

PRE-HALLOWEEN SPECIAL EDUCATION II: THE GRAVEYARD RATS
October 18, 2019 10:00pm

 

FROM THE CANON OF HORROR STORIES... "This 1936 WEIRD TALES story has to be one of the best horror tales of the last century, an evil hybrid of Poe's 'Premature Burial' and Lovecraft's 'Pickman's Model', claustrophobic to the Nth degree and not to be read by anyone late at night who fears enclosed spaces or asphyxiation and who wishes to sleep." --Tim Pendry... Yes, read by Dr. H. Owll at the start of the Show, 'tis another exercise in the literature of Grand Guignol-type supernatural horror. Horror Historians take note: a pre-George Romero revenant makes an appearance, never explained, but it adds to the gruesome atmosphere. When Puzzling Evidence and KrOB pay a visit later, though, things take a lighter turn. The last pre-Halloween presentation in this space may be the most ghastly yet, Etherettes and Rocket Rookies... you've been warned... heh, heh, heh...

PRE - HALLOWEEN SPECIAL EDUCATION
October 11, 2019 10:00pm

 

A SOLITARY SHOW, no guests, a presentation tuned for the Season-- Halloween, which for some lasts vastly longer than the single day accorded it. Poetry of mystery and the supernatural shared the occasion with a literary excerpt, THE OPENER OF THE WAY, by the late Robert Bloch, a solid production from that author's Lovecraft Circle period. Newly received SubGenius archival material rounds it out, but the whole megilla lands after the first hour of Saturday. More such to come! As for the Kisi App, we girded up our loins to wrestle with that demon but, lo! We merely touched the door and it opened. The Opener of the Way is actually a real thing...

PERHAPS NOT FOR GOURMANDS...
October 4, 2019 10:00pm

 

...BUT MORE MEAT AND MORE FLAVOR. First we have some of Dylan Thomas's "Key" poems, verses shaped into various forms by adding and subtracting line length. The music of the late, great Loop! Station soars. More fun ensues when Puzzling Evidence rolls in, and eventually KrOB, at which point all control passes from our hands. Just what is "the Sun at the center of the Earth?" Surely more speculation will follow, based on the writings and theoretical suppositions of Burroughs, V. Obruchev and others. As for the Kisi App, it was a very near thing this time as it failed once more, but we made it into the building. Take that, Robo-conspiracy!

HE-MAN & SKELETOR GET HIGH
September 27, 2019 10:00pm

 

IN ETERNIA, where life is too tedious to be borne. Of course they do. They must. Yes, one truly needs, periodically, to step outside the unchanging limits defining existence in a static, un-evolving set-up, to explore alternate relationships and forms of consciousness, to avoid being pigeonholed by mandated role-playing. Ideally, the show allows time for this. Guest star Puzzling Evidence reminisces. Poetry of Clark Ashton Smith and William Butler Yeats. Music of Loop! Station and from other sources. Edits by Phineas Narco. Archival recordings of Jeff Robins and other players no longer on the scene. An attempt to watch a movie fizzles. Are we there yet? 180 irreplaceable minutes.

MONSTERS ATTACK JERRY LEWIS
September 20, 2019 10:00pm

 

...AS NOTED in the Podcast. Guest Stars Puzzling Evidence and Michael Peppe enlivened the proceedings after a solo first hour for Dr. H. Owll, who was until then playing Loop! Station and Shake Well with interpolated recitations from Dylan Thomas. But with Puz-Ev came the trope of Movie Night, and it was that curious Independent film of yore THE FLESH EATERS which dominated, though sans sound. WE were the only soundtrack. RED PLANET MARS never got off the ground; perhaps insufficient respect for the career of the late Morris Ankrum from Mr. Peppe had something to do with that. Much was hashed over. Let's say this is six hours.

THE RELOADIO EXPERIMENT
September 13, 2019 10:00pm

 

TOOK PLACE DURING THIS EPISODE OF Ask Dr. Hal! Frustrated with the eternal uncertainties and problems surrounding the Kisi App, and invited to use Reloadio's facilities, to broadcast in real radio as well as transmit our usual podcast, we thought we'd accept the invitation. Results were mixed; those who download will probably have to turn up the volume, according to one technical expert. Reloadio also hosted KrOB, Puzzling Evidence and Michael Peppe. We enjoyed the luxurious facility Reloadio offered, but were less pleased with the lack of control for the show available there. Still, this experiment may be repeated in the not-too-distant future, if the problems associated with the weak podcast signal can be resolved.

THE SHOW RETURNS-- RUMINATIONS, THE "HIDDEN SIDE"
September 6, 2019 10:00pm

 

WITH TRAVELS NOW AT AN END (as far as can be determined), Dr. H. Owll comes wearily into port. Oh, Dream of Joy! Is this, at last, the Lighthouse Top I see? Is this the Hill, is this the Kirk? Is this mine own Countree? Well, apparently so. No more gadding about. The suitcases and bags are stored away. Home is the sailor, home from sea, And the hunter home from the hill. But, for this iteration, no guests. After being let in (for the Kisi App now works only for those with the most expensive, newest devices) we played NEW Archival Material sent by Stang from SubGenius Headquarters, and not all of that. This includes Dr. H. Owll audio from X-Day "2019" but none, so far, from the Starwood festival, which latter material may be un-retrievable. There will be more! The poetry of Clark Ashton Smith and Dylan Thomas, among others, are fragments that shore up our ruins. The Show's solo effort highlights here and there the Dark Side, the Hidden Side of our usual presentation. Ideally, we were not indiscreet.

MIDST TRAVAILS OF TRAVELS
August 16, 2019 10:00pm

 

THE ONLY LIVE ASK DR. HAL! SHOW FEATURING DR. HAL during the entire month of August. Because-- look at the calendar! --constant journeying to various places for Dr. H. Owll always means that he can't actually be at "RV" to do his show. Oh, yes, he's at last back from the Midwest and East Coast. Whew! But... now, there's something called Burning Man, coming up FAST. At showtime a week after this one he'll be en route over the mountains to a certain well-known alkali Desert Hell. Thank Gobbs for the re-runs and volunteer Substitute Krewe, eh, Etherettes and Rocket Rookies? Well, sometime... in September... we'll do it again. Too bad not one of our expected quondam Guests could bother to come in. Fair thee well, fair-weather friends! So, Marco Polo had to be solo on the show-low. With fresh and vintage archival material, the poetry of William Blake, Dylan Thomas, William Allingham et al and musical selections including Loop! Station's Robin Coomer and Sam Bass... If music be the food of love, play on!

A VISIT FROM VJ PUSSYCAT
August 2, 2019 10:00pm

 

WHILE DR. H. OWLL IS FAR AWAY ON HIS YEARLY JOURNEYS, Puzzling Evidence, along with Michael Peppe, entertains media darling VJ Pussycat. This doesn't happen, though, until around 12:30 AM-- first an older show is re-run. After that, Pussycat and Krewe enter to enjoy psychedelic Communion. This lengthy podcast is one of a kind-- for now... the Cat's Meow, as they say.

BETTIE PAGE MEETS THE WOLFMAN
June 14, 2019 10:00pm

 

WHEN LAWRENCE "LARRY" TALBOT, a.k.a. The Wolfman, made the transatlantic journey to the United States just after the Second World War to stop the Conspiracy of the Monsters-- see ABBOT AND COSTELLO MEET FRANKENSTEIN (1948), he ended up making yet another suicide attempt, dragging Dracula in bat-form down into the ocean with him. Yet once again, he found that death is no option for the Lycanthrope. Larry had relapsed after apparently being cured by Dr. Franz Edlemann (see HOUSE OF DRACULA (1945), and never realized that HE was one of the monsters, always thinking of himself as a victim. This changed when he met Irving Klaw and his best "Peekaboo" model, the famous Bettie Page. Klaw, the notorious "pornographer," ran afoul of the Kefauver Hearings of the Senate Subcommittee on Juvenile Delinquency in 1957-- the same politicians who were attacking comic books. The Senate Hearings marked the beginning of the end of Klaw's mail-order fetish art business in New York. The investigation tried to link pornography to juvenile delinquency. The McCarthy-style hearings branded Klaw as a "degenerate" and ushered in a new wave of media censorship. Bettie Page was also summoned to the hearings but never did get asked to testify. While waiting to be called at her hotel in the District of Columbia, lovely Bettie met Larry, whose rooms were across the hall from hers. Suffice it to say that the vivacious Bettie convinced Talbot to accept his quasi-lupine, animal nature. And... and there aren't any Wolfman movies featuring Larry Talbot after that, are there? We ask that you draw your own conclusions. A six-hour show, ultimately featuring Puzzling Evidence and KrOB, is the last iteration featuring Dr. H. Owll live for awhile, until August. But keep listening, because we promise plenty of surprises, and Puzzling and KrOB will be, as they say, on the job...

KALENDA MAYA,
June 7, 2019 10:00pm

 


NI FUELHS DE FAYA,
Ni chanz d'auzelh ni flors de glaya--
Non es que m·playa
Pros domna glaya
Tro qu'un ysnelh messatgier aya!
Del vostre belh cors, que·m retraya
Plazer novelh qu'amors m'atraya
E jaya
E·m traya
Vas vos, domna veraya;
E chaya
De playa
Ia-l gelos, ans que·m n'estraya!

Ma belh'amia,
Per Dieu no sia,
Que ia·l gelos de mon dan ria;
Que car vendria
Sa gelozia
Si aitals dos amans partia;
Qu'ieu ja joyos mais no seria
No jois ses vos pro no·m tenria;
Tal via
Faria
Qu'om ia mais no·m veiria;
Selh dia
Morria
Donna pros, qu'ieu·s perdria!

We played this popular song from long ago (about 1200 A.D.), written by the Provencal Troubador, Raimbaut de Vaqueiras (1180 – 1207), who later in his life was knighted. Sir Raimbaut left the Italian courts in 1203, when he joined the Fourth Crusade. He was killed in an ambush on September 4th, 1207 Anno Domini, along with his friend Boniface I of Montferrat, with whom he served in battle against the communes of Asti and Alessandria. Raimbaut claimed he earned his knighthood through protecting Boniface with his shield in battle at Messina, when they took part in Emperor Henry VI's invasion of Sicily. He was present at the siege and capture of Constantinople in 1204, and then accompanied Boniface to Thessalonica. This type of song is called an estampida. We also have more of Phineas Narco's classic mixes, and played some of the late Robbie Basho's ultra-rare album Zarthus (as in Zarathustra). The voice of Robin Coomer and the cello playing of Sam Bass, and various poetic recitations of varying fidelity bring us to a later moment when Puzzling Evidence enters. Then... well, then KrOB comes in and the show metamorphoses utterly.

BILLY & TIMMY GO TO HELL...
May 31, 2019 10:00pm

 

...AND OTHER "AUNT BERTHA" EPISODES from the deep past, courtesy of the great Phineas Narco. "Phinny" appeared at the recent SubGenius Documentary showing at the Roxie Theater, which began the film festival, SF Indiefest. "J.R. 'Bob' Dobbs and the Church of the SubGenius" turned out to be, contrary to all our fears, quite good, and a splendid time was had by all. As for "Aunt Bertha," a.k.a. Bertha Trover Shooks, the now-deceased Dial-a-Story Xtian Fundamentalist Archon, though now retired to her perch above in Heaven, provides much hilarity with her sniveling, po'bucker juvenile minions. The voice of Dr. H. Owll's late brother, Jeff Robins, may also be heard during this 5-hour episode. WITH the poetry of Dylan Thomas and the music of Loop! Station. The whole thing tapers off after Puzzling Evidence and KrOB enter and gain control. Dr. H. Owll sticks around for a while, as we narrate some priceless Bulldada badfilm, but eventually departs, crying continually with his infected, weeping left eye...

COSMIC HARMONIES
May 24, 2019 10:00pm

 

ANOTHER SOLO SHOW, this one with more unhampered music than usual... we began, after our introductory Valediction by Dylan Thomas, with the sounds of Robin Coomer and Sam Bass from their no longer extant (but fondly remembered) exceptional group, Loop! Station, from their album 'Love vs. Love,' followed immediately by "All You Want" from the current band Shake Well, the album being 'Shake Well, the Early Years.' The great Eric McFadden, channeling T.J. MacDonald (Robin channeling Patsy), called Dr. Hal out from the stage at this historic performance-- 7 years after the last one-- at SF Eagle, the legendary Dive Bar, still miraculously un-gentrified. Robin C. has been a friend of the Ask Dr. Hal! live show for lo, these many years, once even hosting at the now extinct venue known as S.P,A.C.E... More poetry and music followed, with a plethora of historic recordings. Prominent among the latter were some cuts supplied by our own beloved Right Reverend Mother Doktor Miller. Though we regretted the absence of KrOB, Peppe and PuzEv, sometimes it's a pleasure to keep it rolling on one's own. Even the Kisi App worked for a change, almost eagerly opening the door before fully called up. Qui per alium facit, per se facit! We'll see some of you this Thursday at the Roxie theater for the debut of the new film, "J.R. 'Bob' Dobbs and the Church of the SubGenius."

SALTOPUS ELGINENSIS
May 17, 2019 10:00pm

 

REV. A. STOOT "FISHY NARDO" of Lilburn, Georgia writes to ask if Saltopus, that enigmatic dinosauromorph Archosaur from Triassic stratigraphic horizons wasn't the most edible and indeed toothsome of all the Dinosauria. Rev. Nardo, thanks for your question for Ask Dr. Hal! and your enclosed donation. Well, once again we have another Archosaur under unresolved taxonomic debate. We do know Saltopus was a very small, bipedal dinosauriform from the late Triassic (late Carnian) period. Discovered in the Lossiemouth Sandstone Formation in Scotland, it's a rarity, known from very little fossil material. Indeed, all Science has to go on is a portion of the vertebral column-- the forelimbs, pelvis, and hind limbs-- it cannot be classified as definitely a dinosaur or, definitely, even a really close cousin. The pelvis, what there is of it, does at least suggest dinosaurian affinities. If only we could see the feet and especially the ankles... You see, there were many "sort-of dinosaurs" running around at that time, the so-called Thecodonts and erect, bipedal crocodylians. The ankles would be key, even more so than related skull material, which is rare. So it’s uncertain whether Saltopus is an early Saurischian, perhaps what we would call a Crurotarsal, a more advanced theropod, or a close relative of Herrerasaurus, the noble and primal, basal Ur-dinosaur. The remains found suggests that Saltopus was an agile, probably insectivorous predator, like a modern-day chicken (though as a listener you must know we are not comfortable with the paleontologically dominant view that birds are direct dinosaur ancestors and should be considered "living dinosaurs"). Balderdash! Horseradish! But... how would it taste?
Here's our recipe for Saltopus in Curry Sauce: 1 Saltopus
5 Tbsp. Lemon juice
1 Tbsp. Curry powder
3 Cloves garlic, crushed
1 onion, chopped
Leaves from 1 stalk celery, chopped
1 small hot pepper, chopped fine
2 chicken bouillon cubes or 2 tsp. bouillon powder
2 Tbsp. Vegetable oil
2 tomatoes, chopped
salt and pepper

Cleaning the Saltopus

Hang the little dinosaur (or whatever it is) by the head. Cut off the feet and the crest on the back. Grab the skin with both hands at the back where you cut the crest off, and pull it towards the front until it all comes off. Cut off the tail. Put it aside (you might want to cook it separately). Cut the chest cavity open and remove the entrails! (VERY important.) Take it down and cut off the head. Wash the Saltopus thoroughly. Cut it into pieces and put it in a bowl of water with the lemon juice and 1 tsp. salt. Stir. Let it sit for ½ hour.

Cooking

Take the meat out of the water, pat it dry and sprinkle it with salt and pepper.

Heat the oil in a frying pan or wok. Add the garlic and curry powder. Stir for about a minute.

Add the meat, tomatoes and onions. Continue stirring.

Add ½ cup water, the celery leaves, hot pepper and bouillon cubes (crushed) or powder.

Turn the heat down, and let the meat stew for ½ hour, adding more water as necessary. Keep tasting the broth, and you will know when you are done! Also on the Show, we have the usual poetry, Whitman MacGowan, the Original Gentleman, Michael Peppe, KrOB and Puzzling Evidence. The whole thing lasts 6 hours, though Dr. H. Owll fades during the last two, having to get up the next day for a hospital appointment. Too much exotic food, perhaps...

THE LEGEND OF SMITH'S BURST
May 10, 2019 10:00pm

 

BY BRIAN W. ALDISS, the novella read in its entirety, is mainly featured during this solitary (Guest-free) show. Also with the usual poetry and pedantry. The failure of the Kisi App to function menaced the Show's existence as usual, yet Fate willed that it was still to be. Just three hours, this time...

MAMMON TRIUMPHANT
May 3, 2019 10:00pm

 

MATTHEW, 6:24-- "No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and Mammon." In "Poverty," a short story by American writer Nicholas Gentile, this adage is put to the ultimate test. A performance of the tale in its entirety begins the Show. Other highlights include the poetry of T.S. Eliot, X.J. Kennedy, William Blake and Archibald MacLeish. Some voices in passing are those of Ivan Stang, Suzie the Floozie, Zero Boy, Rev. Baby Bear and Philo Drummond. Later Puzzling Evidence visits and joins in. We also remind listeners about the forthcoming May 30th San Francisco screening of the motion picture, "Bob" Dobbs and the Church of the SubGenius" at the Roxie theater, part of SF Indiefest, to be followed by an on-stage panel with filmmaker Sandy Boone, Dr. H. Owll, Lies and Puzzling Evidence. Mark your calendars accordingly.


ALSO SPRACH PEPPE:
April 26, 2019 10:00pm

 

Ein Buch für Alle und Keinen as heard on the Ask Dr. Hal! Podcast. Yes, Michael Peppe. For what constitutes the tremendous historical uniqueness of that San Franciscan Performance Artist is the fight of Good and Evil-- the very Wheel rolling in the machinery of things: the transposition of Morality into the metaphysical realm, as a force, cause, and end in itself. Peppe, or as we shall call him, Peppethustra, created with his freewheeling statements and speculations this most calamitous error, Morality; consequently, Im-ho-Pep must also be the first to recognize it. His doctrine, and his alone, heard on this episode, posits Truthfulness as the highest virtue; this means the opposite of the cowardice of the "Idealist” who flees from reality to preserve his formulated standard. Memory may play us false, but we can succeed in overturning this so-called Morality by means of our preference for Truthfulness, as much as it may be attained through our efforts, above all other competitive considerations-- the self-overcoming of hypothesized Morality, out of Truthfulness; the self-overcoming of the moralist, into his opposite—into Peppe. However, his attempts to dramatize the Chatterbox by reading it aloud is destabilizing and will probably be discouraged in future episodes.

THE MULLOCK REPORT...
April 19, 2019 10:00pm

 

...ARRIVED WITH A THUMP on the Show, after Special Counsel Robert S. Mullock III submitted the massive, phone-book-thick document to Attorney General Will'iam D. Boor on Friday, marking the end of his insiccation into Russky interference in the 2016 erection and possible Obfuscation of Justice by porcine, orange Resident "Don" Drumpf. Thus ends, supposedly, the lengthy, closely watched inquiry — a case that has engulfed the Drumpf Administration since its inception, leading to criminal charges against 34 sort-of people, including six former Drumpf cronies, hangers-on, associates and "advisers." A senior Justice Department official who spoke on the condition of anonymity said the Special Counsel has not recommended any further indictments — a revelation that buoyed and electrically charged Drumpf’s volatile, hayseed, frothing, po'bucker supporters, even as other Drumpf-related investigations continue in other parts of the "Just-is" Department. It is also unclear whether a Mullock report that does not result in additional charges could still hurt the Resident politically, or even, ideally, physically. In addition to political matters, this episode of the hard-hitting Show featured poems by reclusive WEIRD TALES poet and author Clark Ashton Smith. In the Paleontology Report we discussed the newly-discovered prehistoric species Dynamoterror, Invictarx, Acantholipan, Jinyunpelta, Lingwulong and Mansourasaurus shahinae. Puzzling Evidence and KrOB made an appearance, but neither could be induced to say a word. They did, however, attach their equipment to the board, essentially disabling all Ask Dr. Hal! content and taking over the last two hours with their "Nose-Hair Lint-Gland"-type mixes.


THE WANDERING ORNITHOMIMUS...
April 12, 2019 10:00pm

 

...LIVED APPROXIMATELY 76 million years ago during the late Cretaceous Period. First discovered in 1889 in the vicinity of Denver, Colorado, it was fully examined a year after its discovery and named by Othniel C. Marsh, who gave it its name-- Ornithomimus, or “bird mimic." The little (for a dinosaur) omnivore probably ate seed ferns, fruits, insects and maybe even some mammals and reptiles. And, wandering like an Ornithomimus, the Show took a circumambient route. Having recently visited Virginia City, Nevada, we reminisced, via Ancestral Memory, about a somewhat similar place, Tombstone, Arizona and the lawmen, cow-boys, owl-hoots and other riff-raff who once lived there. Then in came Michael Peppe(!) and Puzzling Evidence, and even later, KrOB. The former regaled us with tales of his toils in the bowels of the Conspiracy, now over and done with (the j_b and sadly not the Conspiracy). Yes, a splendid time (we hope) was had by all in a show lasting a bit more than 5 hours (though only five are posted here). With the poetry of Coleridge and Clark Ashton Smith among others, and featuring an answer to a question (with a donation, many thanks) from listener Mob Meattie of Washington, DC.

THE COSMOS GIVES BIRTH TO NEW FORMS
March 29, 2019 10:00pm

 

"TO SEE THINGS IN THE SEED-- THAT IS GENIUS." -Lao Tzu. Many things come to be newly born in the depths of space, an ontogeny of singular presence. Within molecular clouds, relatively dense concentrations of interstellar gas and dust stretch where the temperature hovers just above Absolute Zero. There, streaming gases become molecular, and atoms bind together. CO and H2 are the most common molecules in interstellar gas clouds, where deep cold also causes gas to clump to high densities. When hyper-concentration reaches a certain essential mass, stars form and begin to blaze, as the supremely concentrated parts of the cloud core collapse under their own mighty, megalo-gravitic weight. Such ultra-concentrated cores typically possess around 104 solar masses in the form of gas and dust. The central cores, nuclei denser than the outer cloud, are first to undergo pre-stellar collapse, fragmenting into massive clumps around 0.1 parsecs in size, about the equivalent of 10 to 50 Solar masses. These embryonic clumps then develop into proto-stars, and are fully fledged in circa 10 million years, from unimaginable cold to greater than white-hot heat, the unstoppable hydrogen-helium fusion reaction which persists and endures through lustrums and epicycles, pulsations of Cosmic Time. Before four hours elapse but after three, the show concludes. Dr. H. Owll performs "The Hitchhiker" by Roald Dahl in its entirety. Puzzling Evidence chimes in toward the end. Submitted questions are answered, donations received. Mob Meattie, yours shall be answered on April 12th. Next week while Dr. H. Owll is far, far away from life-zone habitable California in remote, deep cold, a re-run will be in place, ideally superseded by Puzzling Evidence with lusty, bawling, newborn sound.

CLARK KENT'S LUNCH BREAK STROLL...
March 22, 2019 10:00pm

 

...IN THE SMALL METROPOLIS PARK near the DAILY PLANET building was an interval of time well exploited by his superior intellect. The alien being, human-shaped by cosmic forces of convergent evolution, had reasons of his own for refreshing himself, during his isolation surrounded by many, by maintaining all his activities while enjoying an intellectual game of a vast imposture, one stretching far beyond the playful trope of a false identity. As for this episode of the Show, we featured the poetry of Dylan Thomas and Samuel Taylor Coleridge; we attended and presented the recent SxSW Interview with Sacred Scribe Ivan Stang and SubGenius Documentary-maker Sandy Boone, via a virtual re-creation, in which it seems we lost the entirety of our easily-bored listening audience, and heard J.R.R. Tolkien read eloquently from his own works on the death of Boromir, the Lament for Boromir.
The older brother of Faramir, Boromir was known in Gondor for his greatness as a warrior and champion, having already achieved knightly merit in Gondor prior to the Council of Elrond. The eldest son of Denethor II, who was Steward of Gondor during the War of the Ring, and his wife Finduilas, he was admired even by the equestrian people of Rohan, particularly Éomer.
Boromir was born in the year TA 2978, the eldest child of Denethor II (the penultimate Steward of Gondor) and his wife Finduilas, and would have taken over as Steward after Denethor's death, had he lived. When Boromir was only ten years old, his mother died. Consequently, his father became a grim person and visibly displayed a preference for Boromir over his younger brother. Despite this fact, Boromir was most fraternally close to Faramir, and typically looked after his interests. He devoted himself to leading his people and fought in the battle for the eastern part of Osgiliath. He, his brother, and two others were the only survivors of the unit that held the bridge until its destruction; they had to swim the river Anduin to preserve their lives. Although KrOB and Puzzling Evidence were present at the Show, once again neither would deign to speak.

THROUGH TIME & SPACE WITH DR. H. & THE GANG
March 15, 2019 10:00pm

 

WITH THE POETRY of J.R.R. Tolkien (marred by forgetfulness), Dylan Thomas and David Erdreich (from MR. E'S MYSTERY). A ramble through questions and answers. Advanced SubGenius studies-- a suggested curriculum. Family life of the large Tyrannosaurs. Gwangi and Kali. KrOB and Puzzling Evidence-- but not salaryman Michael Peppe, though hope springs eternal for his return...

WE'RE HAPPY TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS...
March 8, 2019 10:00pm

 

...AND ARE THANKFUL FOR YOUR DONATIONS. Here on the Ask Dr. Hal! Show-Live-on- Radio we appreciate receiving your mailed-in queries. Sometimes it happens that we may temporarily mis-file a letter, though, which we deeply regret doing... take heart-- your question will be answered on an upcoming show. Reverend Dick Mauve of Conway, South Carolina, though we didn't get to your inquiry, we WILL take care of it in our very next podcast. This time, once again we had no guests in the Studio and put out a "solo" performance. This presentation was the standard three hours in length, but here we include the subsequent hour so you may download the after-show, up to the point Robo-DJ takes over.

NAVIGATING SOLO...
March 1, 2019 10:00pm

 

...AND TRYING TO PROVIDE a full-bodied Show on our own, this is what we came up with. See, both KrOB and Puzzling Evidence were apparently P.O.'d at us and wouldn't come in, the reason being that we didn't make it into the Puz-Ev Show on KPFA 94.1 FM a number of hours earlier. Why not? Well, wily Pete Goldie gave us to understand that by mutual agreement between himself and those guys, we were not to make the usual exciting train trip to Berkeley with the reeking, unhinged Last Train buskers and predators, but instead repair to towering Reloadio, there to transact the KPFA Show business via remote link. Yet somehow that link never did seem to link, and now frozen silence is the only response to our inquiries from our former confreres. Well sir, we did have a great time that night/morning in Reloadio Tower, though. But thus later in solitude we transmitted our own podcast afterwards. Among other things we featured the 1945 Lux Radio Theater production (No. 488) of THE CANTERVILLE GHOST by Oscar Wilde, starring Charles Laughton and Margaret O'Brien. A few years back we were working in Hollywood on a script about Oscar Wilde. The studio, our employer, gave us the disc of this show among other possibly helpful materials. Being quite familiar with Wilde's haunting, beautiful (and funny) story, we didn't play it at the time. Friday night, faced with a co-hostless show, we thought we would play the disc, expecting an entertaining version of the story. What we got was scratchy and frequently interrupted by ads for Lux soap, and did not have, we found, anything more than a superficial resemblance to Wilde's story at best-- the adaptation by Edwin Blum shoehorned in all sorts of crap about "lovable" G.I.s stationed in wartime England, distorting the whole venture into propaganda-infused Low Comedy. But, having started, we gritted our remaining teeth and let it play. So there's that, and the usual poems and mix. Just three hours this time, though...

JOURNEY TO DISINTEGRATION
February 22, 2019 10:00pm

 

THE KISI APP was on the Fritz again, but a Lady appeared who let us in. Actually, while malfunctioned that most un-digital means of ingress, a KEY to the building was momentarily available in a lock-box attached to the door. We had help ere we could use it, as said, but for one brief, shining moment there was a sure and anxiety-free means to get in and do our show. But now, things are back to the Old Normal and fidgeting, over-designed computer systems must be surmounted by the Night People if they wish to get in. A historical presentation on San Francisco's FIRST Chicken John, the hook-handed, brawling "Shanghai Chicken" gave way to the Ragtime Era's traditional tale of passion and murder, "Frankie and Johnny." We worked to present Keats's Eve of St. Agnes, but periodic interruptions took their toll. Puzling Evidence and KrOB settled in and the Show passed from our tentacles to a sound-effects-dominated live mixing session... Ask Dr. Hal! itself, it may be estimated, lasted until about 2:00 AM, P.S.T. And so it goes. Better luck next session, next month, Fate (and Kisi) permitting...

CALICO PIE SERVED ALL NIGHT
February 15, 2019 10:00pm

 

SIX HOURS with Puzzling Evidence, after a while, and, later,KrOB. Rain fell.

Calico Pie,
The little Birds fly
Down to the calico tree;
Their wings were all blue,
And they sang 'Tilly-loo!'
Till away they all flew,--
And they never came back to me!
They never came back!
They never came back!
They never came back to me!

Calico Jam,
The little Fish swam,
Over the Syllabub Sea.
He took off his hat,
To the Sole and the Sprat,
And the Wallaby-Wat--
But he never came back to me!
He never came back!
He never came back!
He never came back to me!

Calico Ban,
The little Mice ran,
To be ready in time for tea,
Flippity-flup,
They drank it all up,
And danced in the cup...
But they never came back to me!
They never came back!
They never came back!
They never came back to me!

Calico Drum,
The Grasshoppers come,
The Butterfly, Beetle, and Bee,
Over the ground,
Around and around,
With a hop and a bound!
But they never came back to me...
They never came back!
They never came back!
They never came back to me! --Edward Lear.

THE SHOW TRAIN ROLLS ON
February 8, 2019 10:00pm

 

PULLED BY A POWERFUL NEW YORK CENTRAL 4-6-0, the Show rattles along the tracks of reminiscence as Puzzling Evidence and Dr. H. Owll converse about vanished worlds. We pass the Reloadio Express running the other way. After the first hour of Saturday more remains, but we pull in before the turning of Two O'clock in the morning, and Robo-DJ is invoked and at work before then. An easy, un-interrupted trip. Two wheezing geezers mine their beezers, and render unto Caesar what is Caesar's. Just to pass the time away.

THE KISI OF DEATH, by Dr. H. Owll
February 1, 2019 10:00pm

 

THE "APP" ONCE AGAIN wouldn't open the door-- It told us "No Wi-Fi" as it had before. We were stuck in the street and we couldn't get in-- The icy rain fell. We were soaked to the skin. And we muttered, "That's all we can take of this crap-- We'll tell them just what they can do with their App!" Then, a mad homeless woman, a menacing hag, Tried to grab and make off with our radio bag! If Dusty's "sub" hadn't just then left the place, We'd have never got in! What a freaking disgrace! The DOOR has a KEYHOLE! Can't we have a KEY? This Kisi App thing is as dumb as can be! Well, we rushed up the stairs, with the Start Time now passed, But still hoping to take up our RV Podcast, We burst into the Studio, only to find All the cords and connectors we had to unwind! The Board was quite jumbled, the mics wouldn't start-- The set-up was messed up, and all torn apart! We were already late, so while playing a song, We frantically tried to find out what was wrong. With the Intro all bungled, we started at last-- What a way to mess up our own special podcast... After that, it got better-- "Puzz" brought in a Guest. That's right-- MICHAEL PEPPE, the famous, the best. From then on the Show fell like plums in our lap, But, man! how we loathe that twice-dammed Kisi App!

SUBGENIUS CHURCH ARCHIVES...
January 25, 2019 10:00pm

 

...AND PLENTY MORE. The poetry of Dylan Thomas, the music of Robin Coomer and Sam Bass as Loop! Station, reports from the field of SubGenius activities, including first word on the reception of The SubGenius (Documentary) Movie. Edward Lear's "The Jumblies." Archival Material from times past. A venomous rant by Mr. Francis E. Dec. "Monsters Attack Jerry Lewis!" Robert Heinlein's "All You Zombies" retold. And still more. Eventually, Puzzling Evidence, and later (around Midnight) KrOB, visit the show-- but we expend great effort to keep from turning into Nose Hair Lint Gland, and eventually do bring the peripatetic duo from the ensorcelment of their glowing screens to speak, actually speak, into the microphones. Later, from the realm of Current Events, President Don Drumpf makes a special announcement. So, we prevailed! Yes, the Kisi App dingfutzer failed, but we achieved entrance anyway. Onward!

SIX MASS EXTINCTIONS...
January 18, 2019 10:00pm

 

...IN AS MANY HOURS. Yes, the Show That Never Ends threatened to live well up to its name in this lengthy episode. We did Humpty's poem again, together with others (Clark Ashton Smith for one, un-credited) and then discussed the Extinction Events which have troubled our planet's biosphere in previous lustrums and epicycles. When Puzzling Evidence and later, KrOB appeared, we took a jog in another direction, ending up watching and narrating SHIP OF MONSTERS (1960) a Mexican film about two comely Venusians who have captured males of various sentient species from other worlds to take back to the Planet of Love for breeding purposes (!) when stopping on Earth due to a momentary, transient space ship breakdown. They decide to collect a happy-go-lucky vaquero (Eulalio González) named, in the film, Lalo Gonzalez "Piporro," whose bar-room buddies regularly are regaled by his outrageous lies. Naturally, they disbelieve him when he tells of encountering the Space Babes and their retinue of grotesques. To complicate matters, one of the Venusians turns out to be a curvaceous but sharp-fanged Vampire with sinister plans for the Earth. Hilarity, of a sort, ensues. Viewers of this sort of film will remember that Venus is populated by shapely glamour-dolls in sparkly, form-fitting swimsuit-like affairs, as in QUEEN OF OUTER SPACE (1958), ABBOT AND COSTELLO GO TO MARS (1953) et al. (Yes, I know, the funnymen in that movie intend to go to Mars but actually end up on Venus.) The all-female Venereans apparently enjoy a highly evolved technological civilization, which is how they have managed to delude Earthly space probes into reporting that the second planet out from the Sun is a Hell World of super-heated acid rain in a searing black abyss. Good strategy, that. The film's leading ladies, Ana Bertha Lepe and Lorena Velázquez, were crowned Señorita México (Miss Mexico) in 1953 and 1960, respectively. Six hours.

A POEM, BY HUMPTY DUMPTY
January 11, 2019 10:00pm

 

PERFORMED BY DR. H. OWLL, with an introduced musical/sound-effect. The verse, called (by some) "Indeterminacy," also known by its first line, "I Sent a Message to the Fish," was composed by the poet prior to Mr. Dumpty's tragic accident; the Palace Guard, together with the Royal Equerry are, we hear, at present engaged in a major medical effort to remedy his injuries. Also with the poetry of Dylan Thomas. Nurse Kelly speaks at length on the Night of Slack (1984) and the forthcoming(?) SubGenius Documentary film (working title) "Slacking Toward Bethlehem." At this point Michael Peppe and Puzzling Evidence visit the Studio; a new conversation proceeds from there. For the address to mail contributions and Questions, please listen to future episodes. Ironically, the ongoing Government Shutdown may be, in our favor, delaying the Inevitable.

ARMAGEDDON, WITH REAGAN & MONSTERS
January 4, 2019 10:00pm

 

In this hard-hitting episode, fearless Dr. H. Owll shows a vision of omnipresent destruction, with the aid of Ray Bradbury's prophetic story THERE WILL COME SOFT RAINS, which he reads. Before that, the word-music of Dylan Thomas. After that, the arrival of Puzzling Evidence in the Studio heralds the second petal of our triune blossom: a narration of the film HELLCATS OF THE NAVY, featuring Arthur Franz and, yes, Ronald Reagan, with a shore-side romance with the ankylosed, angular former Nancy Davis (we should do DONOVAN'S BRAIN sometime). In this Morningside picture, Ron keeps a stiff upper lip, along with the rest of his anatomy, while intrepidly piloting a submarine into Japanese waters. Based on something that actually happened somewhere and sometime, hidden and distorted by layers of scriptwriting and the standard patriotic homilies, the picture begins with Admiral Chester Nimitz (in Berkeley, California) and veers between a back-lot Guam and a submarine interior familiar to those who watch IT CAME FROM BENEATH THE SEA. For this potboiler was cooked up by Columbia producer Charles Schneer, who worked with Ray Harryhausen. Some of the shots in HELLCATS also make it into IT CAME, the movie about the bulbous, thousand-foot-long octopus, actually a sextopus in the movie, which tears down the Golden Gate Bridge. Moreover, this Reaganesque clunker is directed by Nathan Juran, whose filmography includes THE DEADLY MANTIS, ATTACK OF THE FIFTY-FOOT WOMAN and the Harryhausen pictures TWENTY MILLION MILES TO EARTH, THE SEVENTH VOYAGE OF SINBAD and THE FIRST MEN IN THE MOON. All this is actually of great interest to some of us. You know who you are, Etherettes and Rocket Rookies... eh? Lastly, we drag things out with a co-presentation of the lugubrious British comedy, CARRY ON SCREAMING. You know, the one with "Oddbod." And this carries us on (heh, heh) to the end,

THE HUSBANDRY OF JOHNNY APPLESEED
December 28, 2018 10:00pm

 

WHY DIDN'T JOHNNY APPLESEED (September 26, 1774 – March 18, 1845), a.k.a. Jonathan Chapman, ever get married? As every schoolboy knows, or probably doesn't have an inkling these days, Mr. Appleseed dressed in a coffee sack, donned a saucepan for a hat and traveled barefoot. A 19th-century horticulturist who made great contributions to the westward expansion of the United States, he planted entire orchards as far west as Illinois. Though he may not have traveled down the Allegheny River on a block of ice like his folk-hero persona, Chapman, the son of a farmer, was born in Leominster, Massachusetts. He moved to Ohio at the beginning of the 19th century, bringing seeds from Pennsylvania cider presses with him and planting them along the way. The whole thing was about Cider-- hard Cider, an essential in hard-drinking America at the time, so most homes had their own small orchard. Chapman planted his orchards right along the pioneer routes, staying ahead of other orchard-planting competition-- since his obsessed, nomadic, unmarried lifestyle allowed him to cover more ground. He would then trade his seedlings with new settlers in the area so that they could grow apples for their new homes. A wife, perhaps, would have cramped his style. And few would put up with his peculiar calling, or his deliberate courting of harsh conditions. If this be Sexism, make the most of it. With the poetry of Dylan Thomas and others, Michael Peppe, Puzzling Evidence-- and KrOB.

THE OCCULT SIGNIFICANCE OF "CHRISTMAS"
December 21, 2018 10:00pm

 

AND, SO, SWIFT AWAY THE OLD YEAR PASSES. Come, ye merry lads and lasses. Cut through the cornball tinsel commercialism to encounter the on-"air" refuge of the Old Gods, not dead, but only (lightly) asleep-- and dreaming. Within the First Hour, the poetry of John Milton; later, while waiting (in vain!) for a manifestation of Michael Peppe, may his voice grow ever louder! --"The Journey of the Magi," by T.S. Eliot, performed by Dr. H. Owll. We never did get to "The Night Before Christmas..." Maybe AFTER Christmas-- who can say! Later, Puzzling Evidence and KrOB, after much exhortation to have a presence on the Show, are eventually heard. And though we couldn't get Bubba-Free Im-Ho-Pep live, we DO present one of his greatest classic rants/performances, "Living in the Tenderloin." That should be Peppe enough for most who are jones-ing for the True, the Blushful Hippocrene from this artist. A Sovereign Solstice and Sweet Saturnalia, by mooned Ashtaroth! And to all, a good night.

COWBOYS 'N ALIENS
December 14, 2018 10:00pm

 

THIS FIVE-HOUR EPISODE alters, as it tends to do, when Puzzling Evidence makes his appearance ca. 11:00 PM. Later, KrOB also comes in. Those lovable so-and-sos extend the show by several hours. By then, Dr. H. Owll, tormented by lack of sleep, was barely able to participate. Before that, at Puz-Ev's suggestion, we narrated the (fairly) recent film, COWBOYS AND ALIENS. This movie was better than one might expect, with good performances from well-known actors-- Paul Dano is exceptionally good, as is Harrison Ford playing a villainous John Chisum- inspired character (perhaps-- we think of the Lincoln County Wars in this context), while Daniel Craig, always reliable, essays an outlaw performance-- the Billy the Kid in this set-up, we think. Multitudinous improbabilities aside, the script offers several surprises. Mostly from our perspective it offers the opportunity to engage in Japanese-style narration of the events, while speculating about American History, exobiology, infra-planetary exchanges, marksmanship, horsemanship and of course all sorts of other science fiction and monster movies of varying quality but permanent memory... If this is your cup of granola, O Etherettes and Rocket Rookies, please dig right in. Well, the year's almost over, isn't it? Of course, a massive Alien Incursion is predicted for July of THIS NEXT YEAR by the Church of the SubGenius. Forewarned is forearmed, eh? With poetry, pedantry and the usual re-mix of Archival Material.

MECHANICAL PROBLEMS, TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES
December 7, 2018 10:00pm

 

FOR THE SECOND TIME IN A ROW made Dr. H. Owll late to start. But we did start, and soon enjoyed two guests, Prof. C.N. and the charming Kimmie Joan. Those reprobates Puzzling Evidence and Michael Peppe, however, did not show and had to be simulated by archival excerpts. Much talk about the Road to Black Rock City, and what we found there. Four hours.

THE MAGNUM MICROPHONE CAPER
November 30, 2018 10:00pm

 

THIEVES climbed into the building, or a thief, singular, as Security Cam footage appears to show. And he stole valued equipment from Radio Valencia. Most particularly two thoroughbred high-end microphones. And now there are those who say the Napoleon of Crime, Mister Karen Carpenter, a.k.a. Emanuel Goldstein, masterminded the heist. Further it is alleged that we, the much-suspicioned "Night People," willingly aided and abetted. No kidding-- that's what they say. The purloined Mikes reside at Reloadio, they say. Well, the Ask Dr. Hal! Show gives this issue a most thorough examination and analysis. With psychedelic glossolalia and echo chambers of looping, and general hilarity. Wheee! We're synthesizing, fusing with Reloadio here. Before that, before Puzzling Evidence and, later, KrOB came in, we... well, we were late to the studio. Started late. Stay with Robo DJ for a few beats at first when you download. "The Hashish-Eater" by Clark Ashton Smith is read by Dr, H, Owll. Eventually, Puzzo and KrOB turn what remains of the show into their own version of... Nose Hair Lint Gland...

THE PLUTONIAN DRUG
November 23, 2018 10:00pm

 

PLUTONIUM, A FINE WHITE POWDER certainly not to be confused with the element (Pu) but a substance collected on an expedition to the Outer Solar System. Clark Ashton Smith's story tells what happens-- and what can happen --if you take it. This begins our show, and you can also hear it with a different musical accompaniment here: http://pseudopod.org/2018/04/20/pseudopod-591-the-plutonian-drug-and-the-hashish-eater/ on PseudoPod 591. There also may you hear, audacious Explorer, Dr. H. Owll's rendition of Smith's THE HASHISH-EATER. Dylan Thomas was also there at the beginning, and an a-Capella rendition of some Old French Songs. At Eleven we admitted Puzzling Evidence, and gradually continued our colloquy. Traces persist after the Anthem, but after we faded away Robo-DJ failed singularly; even Puzzling Evidence was unable to pinpoint the problem. A wave of infinite darkness, unfathomable and final, settled over Radio Valencia.

THE VAULTS OF YOH-VOMBIS
November 16, 2018 10:00pm

 

AS AN EXPERIMENT, we ran the next of our group of recordings of Clark Ashton Smith's stories. The source seemed to be at a lower volume; we tried amplification but perhaps it was somewhat muffled by the incidental music? Hard to tell from our end. Followed next an excerpt from our INVISIBLE CITIES recorded series, the first a genuine Calvino (Italo), the second one by Dr. H. Owll that we slipped in. Thanks again, Dr. Fiasco! And later, Puzzling Evidence and KrOB appeared in the recently violated studio and eventually began affecting, then controlling the output. Enjoy these while they last, Etherettes and Rocket Rookies. The auto-destruction of what is called Radio Valencia is a most likely possibility; digital chains, more curtailing exponentially than the guardian Kisi App, seem ready to bind us to a complete halt. Well, we've had a good run. Download these things while they're here-- there's talk of removing all these posted episodes to throw off the scent of our pursuers, as an animal caught in a trap will sometimes chew off its own foot. Four hours of (mostly) yaks and laffs.

TASH DR. HAL PT. 2-- THE BEAGLE BOYS RAID RADIO VALENCIA
November 9, 2018 10:00pm

 

DR. HAL HAD TO MEET A FRIEND AT THE AIRPORT, and Puzzling Evidence came in with KrOB to maintain a live presence on Ask Dr. Hal! And so they did, even as the station became ringed about with dangers and troubles. Now digital gremlins may bring the glorious enterprise to a premature and unwanted conclusion; until then we can only continue. Meanwhile, Duckburg's most notorious criminal gang made surreptitious entrance to the premises, making off with microphones and other essential studio equipment. Despite all, we prevail-- for now. For five full hours. Enjoy the mind-breaking Special Effects.

TASH DR. HAL!
November 2, 2018 10:00pm

 

NINE DAYS AFTER the Full of the Moon, Lycanthropic back-up Puzzling Evidence was still somewhat "wolf-y." He subdued his howls and created an amazing five-hour synthesis. There's more than a chance that Radio Valencia will have to retreat down the Exit Corridor of History, following the Dodo & the Dinosaur. But even if so, these are great days (& nights), as our night-blooming Show expands to full efflorescence. No humans were harmed during the fabrication & creation of this show. During that, yes, but we're not talking about the PODCAST, are we? Well, develop a thick skin. Let the Show engulf you in waves only to bounce off its invulnerable, impenetrable exterior. You'll live. This one's five hours, remember. In the meantime, distracted "Doc" Hal will return when he can...

CLARK ASHTON SMITH (1893-1961)
October 26, 2018 10:00pm

 

THANKS TO The Brazilian Astronaut, crackerjack recording engineer "Kiko" Aumond, we were at last able to debut some of our recording of the work of the late Clark Ashton Smith which earlier this year we did for Pseudo Pod... these readings can be found online, but we presented them with newly added musical effects. More to come from that quarter... Then, near 11:00 PM, we welcomed Puzzling Evidence and Michael Peppe; the results may be heard here-- INCLUDING an unfortunate gap when the station went completely dark after an episode of "flailing" from our exuberant guest. Fortunately (for our tenancy at Radio Valencia) Dr. H. Owll was able to trace the problem and re-boot the station. But it was a close thing. Sunt lacrimae rerum, eh? Next week, a re-run, at least for part of the time, as we must be elsewhere and elsewhen. This show: four hours.

JUST A DINOSAUR IN THIS MODERN WORLD...
October 19, 2018 10:00pm

 

...UNABLE TO ACCEPT that the lush primeval jungles have been replaced by the angular mechanisms of industrial civilization. So did Dr. H. Owll feel himself to be, several times during the presentation. Some "looping" does occur. Mechanical repetition opposes spontaneity and creative freedom. On the other hand, formal limitations are God's gift to the creative artist. And so, right after the initial hour, Puzzling Evidence in came, eventually to speak through a microphone and add thereby to the lustre of our performance. An incursion from Pete Goldie's Reloadio sidetracked the genteel converse avec echoes, delays and other, similar tropes. An extra hour is added-- the casual after-effect of the show. You can't call it real sophistication. All in all, four hours in duration.

IN FOR A PENNY...
October 12, 2018 10:00pm

 

PERIPATETIC QUONDAM GUEST DR. PENNY accepts our hospitality. The Trump-loving Angelena is a SubGenius fellow-traveler from SoCal's realms; she asked several questions and the clink of coins exchanging hands was heard. Archival sources, poems of Dylan Thomas, the music of Robbie Basho-- these flavored the session. Puzzling Evidence later appeared and we hooked up the equipment to narrate (yet) another Monster Movie. Although classic Bulldada is considered the purest and best by discriminating practitioners of SubGenial scientific criticism, since originating before the Knowing Age it is assumed to manifest the best aesthesis, allegory, poetic narrative and prophetic wisdom, unclouded by self-referential symbolism, the night's exercise ably demonstrated that the secret slackful illumination can come in even along latter vectors, even from latter sources. This show's exemplar: LAVALANTULA, in which washed-up actor Steve Gutenberg plays a washed-up actor who complains when he finds out he is making a movie about giant bugs (sounding the self-referential note). In the story, but not in the fictive film-within-a-film, volcanic activity under L.A. coughs up hideous, murderous flame-belching giant spiders. Drama, horror and hilarity ensue, assisted by cameos from other alumni of the POLICE ACADEMY series... Learned listeners will note a superficial similarity to THE BLACK SCORPION (1957), in which huge subterranean arachnids escape to the surface from their abyssal realm to terrorize rural Mexico and Mexico City. We hope the audio track makes a worthy addition to our enterprise. Four hours (and hours)...

ATOMIC RULERS OF THE WORLD
October 5, 2018 10:00pm

 

STARMAN, not Jeff Bridges but Ken Utsui, the hero of a Japanese TV show, is sent by a coalition of confederated planets to stop testing of nuclear weapons on Earth. He employs the assistance of a bunch of kids, too, though invulnerable and able to fly... one shouldn't knock any aid one can get from the rising generation. Can that be the subtext of the strange plot of ATOMIC RULERS OF THE WORLD (1964)? The 9 films featuring Starman, a.k.a. Super Giant, though in ATOMIC RULERS he does not exhibit his additional power of expansion, like Marvel's Ant-Man when he becomes Giant Man, were purchased for distribution to U.S. television and edited, if that's the word, into 4 episodes by cut-rate Walter Manley Enterprises and low-rent Medallion Films. The basal Japanese pictures which were to become ATOMIC RULERS (by name SUPER GIANT and SUPER GIANT CONTINUES) were 49 minutes and 53 minutes in duration respectively. These two were hacked by the hackmeisters into one 83-minute entertainment. The originals, it should be said, were two parts of a complete story, but a total of 19 minutes vanished during the re-editing, dropping essential backstory and plot elements from both. And it was also at this time most of the original music was scrapped and replaced by library cues. That, in less-than-glorious smeary, blurry black-and-white is what we, Dr. H. Owll and Puzzling Evidence, narrated. BUT the amount of degradation present, though to be aesthetically regretted, only adds luster to the divine SubGenius concept of BULLDADA. You see, to SubGeniuses, the more infimal the cultural product may appear, the greater likelihood of profundity in its essence. We suppose this axiom should be iterated now and then. All this came after we began, featuring SubGenius Archival material (from X-Day XXI) and preceded by Dr. H. Owll's recitation, to the music of Robbie Basho, of Dylan Thoma's "The Long-Ago Seabird Rises." 3 hours.

LET ME NOT TO THE MARRIAGE OF TRUE MINDS...
September 28, 2018 10:00pm

 

...ADMIT IMPEDIMENT. LOVE is not love which alters when it alteration finds... Except, for a cautionary lesson, in the 1958 motion picture I MARRIED A MONSTER FROM OUTER SPACE, directed and produced by Gene Fowler Jr. The Psychotronic Encyclopedia says of this one, "An overlooked, well-made science fiction hit that should appeal especially to women." On her wedding night, raven-haired Gloria Talbot discovers that her new husband (eerily slender Tom Tryon) is actually an "alien monster." And no one will believe her! Except the cops and the avuncular Chief of Police, already all taken over. Yes, the invasion is at this point quite successful. The fake humans are simulacra-- the real ones are floating, suspended in the concealed saucer, alive but attached to wires plugged into "glowing white orbs." As they say, the course of true love never did run smooth. On the Show, we narrate this film, about which, and about the institution of marriage, our feelings have not changed over the years. Puzzling Evidence is on hand, as is KrOB, though the latter is never heard, we think. Well sir, these here aliens from (really) far away (Andromeda) had their germ plasm irradiated by a stellar catastrophe. OUR sun would never do a thing like that to us. Not our good old steady-state dwarf star. But these poor aliens, masters of genetic manipulation, only need some intimacy with human females-- though they resemble, according to the Psychotronic Encyclopedia, "mutated rhubarb." At the climax (of the film, natch-- Spoiler Alert!) a mob of Normals wrecks the alien craft and unleashes (literally) Earth's most deadly protection against extraterrestrials-- lunging, woofing German Shepherds. These bounding, marauding mastiffs cruelly rip and tear the (sympathetic) invaders, causing them to expire in disgusting torrents of flowing slime. Gloria gets her bozo husband back, truthfully not nearly as nice as the sensitive, thoughtful space monster she's been shacked up with. Well, that's showbiz! With crawling clouds of black smoke, disintegrator beams, Ken Lynch and "Slapsy" Maxie Rosenbloom. But wait-- there's more! We segue, courtesy of Puzzo, into THE CREATURE WITH THE ATOM BRAIN (1955). Alas, we run out of time while narrating this programmer from Columbia Pictures. All in all, a grand night out. Some problems with the equipment at the beginning. Three hours.

KISI MY APP!
September 21, 2018 10:00pm

 

BOTS, SOMEHOW WE GOT IN to the ol' Radio Valencia Studio without the Kisi (smek! smek!) or any other by-Our-Lady "App," thanks be to Dobbs. And there we did something that's rare, a solo show from the git-go. Avec poetry of Dylan Thomas, Clark Ashton Smith, Charles Kingsley, Ruth Stone. Talked a lot 'bout this n' that. Then we left that habitat. "Radio" c'est Where it's At. Smell the flowers. 3 hours.

AFTER TRAVELS END
September 14, 2018 10:00pm

 

HOME IS THE SAILOR, HOME FROM SEA-- the Sea of Dust, that is-- and the Hunter home from the Hill, by which we mean, in the scheme of things, a hill of beans. Well, you had to be there. And we make no apologies at the present time. All in all, it's good to be back. Yet we feel, in this atypical year, we might have to make another trip or two after all. Until then, this episode; another miraculous penetration past the obdurate Kisi App into full studio freedom. With (eventually) Michael Peppe and Puzzling Evidence. 240 action-packed, hard-hitting minutes and a spectacular conclusion...

DISTANT PLANETS
August 17, 2018 10:00pm

 

IN OUR SOLAR SYSTEM, particularly the Dwarf Planet Pluto and its companion body, Charon-- these among other matters were featured in the discussion. With the loquacious Michael Peppe. Extra show, extra music... this is one of those episodes that continues on and on, anon-- in this case, for five hours. Also with Puzzling Evidence. But now off to Burning Man. We'll be back, after a while...

VOLUPTUOUS HORROR
August 10, 2018 10:00pm

 

TAKING UP WHERE WE LEFT OFF, a guest-less show explores various incarnations of the voluptuously horrible. Avoiding the heavy gravitational field of rival ReLoadio, we re-established our orbit after being absent (X-Day, Starwood, Kiloquah) for a month and a week. The next disruption will be during the Burning Man iteration of 2018, but a Reserve Officer is expected to take the helm. Meanwhile, this show features, in addition to audio from the relevant Hours of Slack-- sent us by I. Stang from this year's X-Day-- poetry of J.R.R. Tolkien, Kenneth Rexroth-- thanks, Jack Mellender! --and the late Ruth Stone. NEXT WEEK: Some guests-- for sure!

DIVINE MIRACLE PROVES SUBGENIUS TRUTH
June 22, 2018 10:00pm

 

SIGNS, WONDERS AND PORTENTS, STRANGE STELLAR CONFIGURATIONS and other unmistakable hints by the Cosmos are there, for those who can read them-- A great disturbance in the Noosphere is clearly coming. This is the last podcast of Dr. H. Owll for awhile; he goes to Ohio, New Jersey and New York for the next tumultuous period. This episode also features KrOB and Puzzling Evidence, together with poems by Dylan Thomas and others.

LET ME JUST TAKE YOU OUT OF HERE
June 15, 2018 10:00pm

 

STARTING WITH FLIGHTS OF FANCY, and then veering to a narration of the vintage motion picture, HITLER, DEAD OR ALIVE. You see, these (U.S.) gangsters go over to Germany, capture Hitler and shave off his mustache and forelock. He keeps telling the SS, "I'm Hitler!" and they just beat him up. A cinematic curiosity (1942) in which Ward Bond is the best-known name in the cast. Before that, before Puzzling Evidence appeared and brought in the movie, there were poems, reminiscences and speculations. More on GWANGI-- but then Puzzling came through the studio door...

ROBOT GIRL REPAIR SHOP
June 8, 2018 10:00pm

 

THREE HOURS OF MIXED EDITS AND LIVE performance are delivered here. Rioting sports fans in the streets nearly prevented this show from being. Past them, even past the loathsome Kisi App (smek! smek!) we managed to penetrate to bring this particular episode to you, Etherettes, and you, Rocket Rookies. For the mechanically minded, and for others. Poems of Dylan Thomas, Clark Ashton Smith and additional favorites.

LIVES OF SOME INSECTS AND SPIDERS
June 1, 2018 10:00pm

 

THE EARTHWORM, THE GOLD BEETLE, the wise Emmet dance around the Wine-presses of Luvah. The Centipede is there. The Ground Spider with many Eyes... The Ambitious Spider in her sullen Web, the lucky golden Spinner. The Earwig, arm'd. The tender Maggot, Emblem of Immortality. The Flea, Louse, Bug, Tape-worm, all the Armies of Disease, visible or invisible to the slothful vegetating Man. The slow Slug, the Grass-hopper that Sings and Drinks and Laughs-- Winter comes; he folds his slender Bones without a Murmur. The cruel Scorpion is there. The Gnat, the Wasp, the Hornet and the Honey-bee. The Toad and venomous Newt, the Serpent clad in gems and gold-- they throw off their gorgeous Raiment, they rejoice in loud Jubilee, dancing round the Wine-presses of Luvah, naked and drunk with Wine.

THE ADVENTURES OF TARZAN OF THE APES
May 25, 2018 10:00pm

 

MORE THAN FOUR AND A HALF HOURS in the Studio, eventually hosting Jett, Puzzling Evidence and Michael Peppe, we touched on multiple subjects with an eye toward X-Day and other onrushing future events. You can't call in. We no longer even have a Studio Phone at RV, by the way, folks, since the practice of taking "on-the-air" calls does not seem viable to most at the station in the "Selfie" Era, or perhaps seems simply passe. But the Chatterbox often appears to fill in for this former link to the simultaneous outside world, and ideally, we are able to respond to requests and suggestions. First part of the show (the first two hours): THE ADVENTURES OF TARZAN. Poems, re-mixes, speculation on subjects literary, folkloric and scientific. The Paleontology Report. Second part of the show (starting around Midnight): CHRISTMAS MORNING as Jett attempts to give away numerous treasures; gift after gift is proffered and, sadly, in some cases refused, since storage space is now so precious in Ron Conway's Baghdad By The Bay...

YE GODS AND LITTLE FISHES
May 18, 2018 10:00pm

 

PUZZLING EVIDENCE AND MICHAEL J. PEPPE are guests on this episode, which also partakes of more Reloadio (see last week's show), "an odd cast for a Podcast." Poems, songs, expostulations-- layering new mixes of older presentations in the accustomed style all the while --these apparently comprise a formula to increase listeners at show-time, according to our in-studio detection equipment. Thanks to Mister Beau Dayshus, we achieved ingress despite all the Crap about the App. We will do everything we can to avoid a repetition of our involuntary no-show in recent days, and hope eventually to beard the Kisi App in its lair. After the Anthem, post-Show continues for nearly an hour. We welcome all guests.

The shortened URLs to link automatically to REloadio streaming
players are as follows:

RELOADIO QUICK LINKS

* Winamp, iTunes, VLC https://bit.ly/2k7xT2A
* Windows Media Player https://bit.ly/2wYyxbC
* Real Player https://bit.ly/2kg0rqG
* QuickTime https://bit.ly/2x0LMc9

Also, a modicum of listener interaction is available through the
listener's web browser:

https://bit.ly/2IYvULG (which is the same as
https://cp5.shoutcheap.com:2199/start/reloadio)

RETURNED, WE RELOADIO
May 11, 2018 10:00pm

 

BACK TO RADIO VALENCIA FOR SOME PURE, UNADULTERATED SHOW-- and it isn't as if we didn't try to resume podcasting last week. No, we came, we tried-- but just couldn't get into the !??@#$%?!! over-automated building. That requires the perfect application of a series of digital electronic protocols. Nothing worked, no help was available-- so, we had to go sadly home. But this week-- yes, this week was different. Lahat hahereb hammithppeket was on duty, but we did, nonetheless, pass the flame of the whirling sword-- this time. While reloadio went out that evening, so did we. Hear the sensation of cross-pollination re-establish our old Station. Puzzling Evidence sits in for a bit.




DINOSAUR FIGHTS IN THE OLD WEST (a re-run)
April 27, 2018 5:00pm

 

AND THE LAST re-run of this series, unfortunately necessitated by the live version of Ask Dr. Hal! going on at Chez Poulet Gallery-Cabaret, more commonly known as Chicken John's Warehouse. Soon to be a memory, seen dwindling in the rear-view mirror. For there will never be another version of that show in that location. Now, the next hurdle is to see if we can get into the building past bristly obstructing electronics. If so, our standard fare will return.

PAST WATCHFUL DRAGONS (a re-run)
April 20, 2018 10:00pm

 

THIS PODCAST, FROM JANUARY 19th of this year, was the first we managed after successfully entering the building according to what were the previously un-surmounted electronic protocols. We prevailed! But, now... Ah, well a-day! There is no getting in; had we any hopes of later ingress we would add to these replays as we had intended, coming to the Building immediately following the Live Show, the Friday night performance of ASK DR. HAL! now running, still, at the Chez Poulet Gallery-Cabaret down on Cesar Chavez. Such was the plan-- but the tendency of systems to elaborate upon themselves on their own has, through gradual degrees, erected an impenetrable barrier to our passage. The live ASK DR. HAL! will run for one final Friday night; then we must, only then we can-- hustle to tussle with the Kisi App and all its pestilential proliferating gremlins. During the run of a live show such combat exceeds our reach, we're here to tell you. Well, folks, we've been selling out the live show. If you're going, get your tickets now. This won't happen again for another year. And, confidentially, it'll NEVER play at CHEZ POULET AGAIN. You read it here first. And, in May, somehow, in the later Spring, we will prevail against the Dragon. Somehow...

PERTURBATIONS IN THE NOOSPHERE (a re-run)
April 13, 2018 10:00pm

 

THE LIVE SHOW CONTINUES, but we've had terrible luck in getting in after that's over to do a little live podcasting as planned. Can't get into the building, the Kisi App does not work for some reason. We hope to fix it when the run ends this month. Please have faith-- we'll be back!

THE OWL ARCHIMEDES (a re-run)
April 6, 2018 10:00pm

 

ORIGINALLY PODCAST February 16th of this year, this is a re-run of Episode #29099. The live show of Ask Dr. Hal! began on the 6th and took place during the show's podcast hours. There are three more of these live shows remaining at Chicken John's famed Chez Poulet Gallery-Cabaret, located on Cesar Chavez near Mission. Showtime is 9:00 PM. It was our intention to put these re-runs in place while the live shows were happening, and then travel, after the end of the performance, to Radio Valencia, and there provide new material, which would then be experienced by the listener after a few hours of the re-run. This time, however, after-hours podcasting happened instead on Pete Goldie's Reloadio. We will try to follow through and join the in-progress re-run next time on Friday, April 13th, if luck holds...

O SOLITUDO
March 30, 2018 10:00pm

 

NO GUESTS appeared as special archival material was presented and mixed anew. Prefigured: The Saint Stupid's Day Parade, with ruminations by Bishop Joey Himself. Clark Ashton Smith and Italo Calvino (as performed by Dr. H. Owll to Doc Fiasco's Sound Mix) bracket the presentation. Three and a half hours, or thereabouts. The live Ask Dr. Hal! Show is on the way; re-runs will appear, ideally to be super-ceded at their ends by post-performance roistering.

VAMPIRES AND VARIANTS
March 23, 2018 10:00pm

 

FIVE HOURS. Can you take it? Starting with the standard show and recitations (Charles Kingsley's "The Sands o' Dee," Tennessee Williams's "How Tranquilly the Olive Branch" and so forth), the arrival of Puzzling Evidence (silent throughout the show) and Michael Peppe (voluble throughout) sets the whole megilla in magnum motion. And we have some talk about the Undead, e.g. Vampires... Oh, we tread again over pre-treaded ground-- some of that is inevitable with this format-- but, just as inevitably, the birth-cry of newly whelped synthesis is heard, at first faintly and then at deafening volume, especially as Peppe strives once again to manage the more than formidable task of Reading the Chatterbox...

FROM MILTON TO MEMPHIS
March 16, 2018 10:00pm

 

THE ORIGINAL MEMPHIS, that is. The ancient capital of Aneb-Hetch, in Lower Egypt, whose ruins are located near the town of Mit Rahina, 12 miles south of present-day Giza. Before the rise of Alexandria, the city, at the mouth of the Nile Delta, was the Capital of Egypt during the Old Kingdom, under the protection of the god Ptah, the patron of craftsmen. Its great temple, Hut-ka-Ptah (meaning "Enclosure of the ka of Ptah"), was one of the most prominent structures in the city, back (way, way back) in the day. Now, the name of this temple, rendered in Greek as Ai-gy-ptos by the historian Manetho, is actually believed to be the etymological origin of the modern English name, Egypt. And we're here to tell you this belief is correct. Yes, Dr. H. Owll and Puzzling Evidence time-trip together under the Double Diadem of Mighty Egypt, until OUR time runs out-- near the three-hour mark. No Michael Peppe, unfortunately. Before that, we follow The Last Oblivion, by Clark Ashton Smith, with a more spotty recitation, about 95% worth-- maybe a little more, of John Milton's Il Penseroso, first found in the 1645/1646 Quarto volume of verses, THE POEMS OF MR. JOHN MILTON, Both English and Latin, published by Humphrey Moseley. The Ghost of Dr. Penny smooths down the edges of the rough spots. Don't miss the upcoming, onrushing LIVE night club show, the Ask Dr. Hal! Show, in April at the famed Chez Poulet Gallery-Cabaret, otherwise known as Chicken John's Warehouse. It's on Fridays, meaning a month of re-runs (until WE get there after the show, if we can, and take over...)


ROCKET AWAY!
March 9, 2018 10:00pm

 

SURPRISE GUEST DR. PENNY, fresh from proselytizing on behalf of the Church in other locales, returns to Radio Valencia. Also present: Puzzling Evidence. Not, however, Michael Peppe this time, though we shall have more of him anon. The alarm went off in the building again. Questions from far-flung fans. Poetry, pedantry. Listed as five hours, though realistically more like four and a half. The Live Show is coming soon!

A TIMELESS INTERLUDE
March 2, 2018 10:00pm

 

INTRODUCTORY poems. Archival material from a remote period. Puzzling Evidence and Peppe arrive. Animated cartoons of the past. Clampett's Daffy the best. A Generation generated Animation. Sir Thomas Browne gave evidence at a witchcraft trial. His *Pseudodoxica Epidemica.* G. K. Chesterton's *The Celestial Omnibus.* Commentary on the political landscape. Puzzling pipes in his own music track. Peppe reads the Chatterbox. The alarm in the building goes off. It all goes for five and a half hours.

YACKIN' & SLACKIN'
February 23, 2018 10:00pm

 

THE RIGHT REVEREND DOKTOR MOTHER MILLER was in town, and joined Dr. H.Owll on the Podcast. Some of these sessions approach the provision of needed catharsis-- WE are improved by them, though others may be more indifferent. In this virtuous Voyage let not disappointment cause Despondency, nor difficulty Despair: think not that you are sailing from Lima to Manillia, wherein thou may'st tye up the Rudder, and sleep before the Wind; but expect rough Seas, Flaws and contrary Blasts; and 'tis well if by many cross Tacks and Veerings thou arrivest at thy Port. Sit not down in the popular Seats and common Level of Virtues, but endeavour to make them Heroical. Anyhow, later Puzzling Evidence, Michael Peppe and even KrOB were here, or at least near... Here's the download on the down-low from our abode. Five irreplaceable hours.

THE OWL ARCHIMEDES
February 16, 2018 10:00pm

 

IN THE UNDISCOVERED COUNTRY of Kennaquhair, whose latitude is 91 degrees north and longitude 181 degrees west, Archimedes the owl, familiar spirit of Merlin, brings the future King Arthur, a boy also transformed into an owl, to the presence of the goddess Athene. There, in the luminous hollow of a tree stump blasted by lightning and whittled clean by the winds of knowledge, the birds alight on the outstretched hands of the invisible goddess. They are shown, through accelerated Time, first the lives of the trees at a rate of thirty years in a minute, then the lives of the rocks at two million years a second. We also feature the poetry of Clark Ashton Smith and W.S. Merwin. Puzzling Evidence appears; we watch and narrate FRANKENSTEIN MEETS THE SPACE MONSTER. It is not a happy meeting. The alarm goes off in the building and the police come, but don't enter the studio.

SENSORS DETECT SECURITY PROBLEM IN BUILDING
February 9, 2018 10:00pm

 

THE AUTOMATED DOORS were off on another self-examination jag when we approached the perimeter. The CPU, or central ganglion of the building, was occupied mentally with private concerns. So the alarm was triggered-- by correct safety procedures observed, not breached. It took about five minutes for the processing brain to rise from its private deep ruminations and catch on. Then the correction was made and the jangling of the alarm was replaced by blessed silence. The Police never came, fortunately. Nor, less so, did any visitor or promised guest. But, what the hell? This thing practically flies itself. Three cobbled-together hours.

DINOSAUR FIGHTS IN THE OLD WEST
February 2, 2018 10:00pm

 

SPECULATION on the legends of prehistoric faunal survival in recent times, yes, that's in there, and different ways of rendering one's self invisible. The poetry of Dylan Thomas comes and goes. And guests also come; KrOB, Spy, Orrin, Puzzling Evidence and even Michael Peppe pay a call. The newly acquired electronics actually did open the outer door, by George! --and the portal rolled open. Perhaps a new era beckons after all. The progressive scientific views of British paleontologist Horace Terrence Bromley (1845-1912) receive credit on the program. Archival material includes the mating rituals of slugs. A little after the half hour past 2:00 AM the podcast concludes (the rest of the download provided by RV;s own beloved Robo DJ). Perhaps--- who can say? --our next time will feature the widely anticipated narration presentation of FRANKENSTEIN MEETS THE SPACE MONSTER.

THE RETURN OF DRACULA
January 26, 2018 10:00pm

 

THE BAT, THAT FLITS at Close of Eve, Has left the Brain that won't Believe. --Wm. Blake. Yea, our fourth Show in the New Studio, this time with guests... First, after initial pedantry and poetry (Dylan Thomas), we bring on Rusty Rebar, the poet and self-styled "all-gay rodeo clown," with ambrosial poet Sugar, creator of sweet poetic confections. After recitations, we bring on another guest, KPFA's and RV's own Puzzling Evidence. We hear there's some kid out there on the radio calling himself Puzzling Evidence. Don't believe it! This one's the genuine article, about whom the David Byrne song was written, in fact. "Puzzo" and Dr, H. Owll chew the metaphorical fat for awhile, Rebar and Sugar make their adieus-- then we segue to a narrated movie on-show, reconstituting the Ask Dr. Hal! tradition. This is THE RETURN OF DRACULA, a most interesting entry... Discussion of the associated powers of Vampirism comes into it naturally, naturlich. This 1958 film features sinister Francis Lederer as Dracula. The female lead, Rachel, is played by blonde, English-accented Norma Eberhardt. It's elegantly filmed in black-and-white (though there is an unsettling color shot, only seconds long, of red blood fountaining when the vampire hunters drive a stake into the Undead former poor little blind girl Jennie Blake [Virginia Vincent] an unpleasant surprise for the viewer). Back in the day, this was released on a double bill with THE FLAME BARRIER. Real exterior locations are used for the setting of Carleton, California, though the familiar Bronson Canyon Cave, Ro-Man's hang-out, is also employed. All this takes us an extra hour, and we put off the pleasure of narrating FRANKENSTEIN MEETS THE SPACE MONSTER to another show.
When shown on American television, this picture was titled CURSE OF DRACULA. In the UK it was released theatrically as THE FANTASTIC DISAPPEARING MAN. The picture, Vampirically Correct in most significant details, had the misfortune to come out the very same year that the great Christopher Lee single-handedly re-started the horror cycle with his dynamic portrayal of the Undead Count in THE HORROR OF DRACULA (U.S. title). But it has a certain integrity, as we discovered... Three hours, 59 minutes and 59 seconds of this. Yes, we played the Anthem, but you won't hear it.

PERTURBATIONS IN THE NOOSPHERE
January 19, 2018 10:00pm

 

POETRY AND THEOLOGY pricked us on. No guest shared the new Studio, solely occupied. In the three hours, Dylan Thomas and Negativland added thought to the topic. And it seemed we began to register, even though minutely, on the graph; tremors of interest detected by our subtle and far-reaching equipment, were certified on the home screen. So minor the ripple, but the ultimate consequence as it expends itself remains unknown. The voices in your head are real and require your attention.

PAST WATCHFUL DRAGONS
January 12, 2018 10:00pm

 

PAST WARDS AND LOCKS, past gates and metal doors, Past stairs and hallways and past lower floors, Past passwords, codes and algorithms wound The simple business of arrival round, Past sensors ready to provoke alarms, Past electronics woven thick as charms, Past barriers like a maze, or like a test, Past watchful dragons, those which never rest, We managed once again to get inside And spread our message outward, far and wide. And Spy was there, our first official guest, A visitor to our new, high-up nest. Three hours of Show are here, if you download-- Perhaps next time we'll learn to use the Code.

TRANSIT OF RADIO VALENCIA
January 5, 2018 10:00pm

 

AND LO, THE FIRST SHOW IN THE NEW PLACE somehow did happen, although Cult of the Portable Device problems with electronic doodads and doohickeys nearly kept it from transpiring. Yet, a way around the overcomplicated contraptoids was found after all, however, and no dingfutzers, gizmos, widgets or whatchamacallits were able to succeed in preventing the first Ask Dr. Hal! Podcast "Radio" Show from meeting its appointment with Destiny. At least, ultimately they didn't succeed. At the start, though, our struggle against them did actually result in an unprecedented 14-minute gap, it must be admitted. Then, after almost a quarter of an hour, as you can hear, we got going and performed the rest of our allotted three hours. A poetry-heavy show with interspersed mixes and ruminations. No guests are featured. Just fast-forward for 14 minutes or so.

THE LA-A-A-AST OF THE DO-DOS
December 22, 2017 10:00pm

 

YES, I'M REALLY the Last of the Do-dos. Since you ask. Assuming you have any real and genuine interest. And Radio Valencia is indeed moving. We're going to try to keep rolling, to provide some kind of continuity here. Perhaps it will be seamless. Alternatively, there may be a delay. This show may be the last five hours we ever performed in the (gutted, stripped) Old Studio. With KrOB on the job, Puzzling Evidence in residence and Dr. H. Owll still not throwing in the towel. For now.

MAGIC CASEMENTS
December 15, 2017 10:00pm

 

OPENING ON THE FOAM Of perilous seas, in Faerie lands forlorn. Or, in our case as we enjoy the last nights in the old studio in the El Dorado Building overlooking Mission Street, opening on the spectacle of Bruno's, where the night life is always churning. We hope, ideally, to go beyond the world and its concerns, with strains of music and poetry, with parody and laughter, with philosophical speculation. And these high aims, though even often served, nonetheless tumble from time to time-- some would say, most of the time, into greasy tropes of filth and imbecility. Well, that's show-biz. With Jett, Spy Emerson, KrOB, Puzzling Evidence, Dr. H. Owll and the Flail of the Lord, Michael Peppe. A force of Nature is Mr. Peppe. He understandeth not what he doth, nor careth. And the flailing disconnecteth and damageth the studio equipment. At least we did six hours. It began with the poetry of Clark Ashton Smith, moving then to a discussion of Slime Molds. All good and proper. But then...

INVASION OF THE SAUCER-MEN
December 8, 2017 10:00pm

 

WE EXPERIMENT ONCE AGAIN WITH THE NARRATION of a film; in this case INVASION OF THE SAUCERMEN, that 1957 exercise in paranoia within a "teen" film-- also called INVASION OF THE HELL CREATURES. We maintained, or perhaps only tried to maintain, during a flailing guest free-for-all, that popularly enjoyed entertainments of their time, like INVASION, inculcated fears which became solidly cemented as folk belief. Here such fears are prompted by repeated scenes of Air Force men blowing up the saucer and covering it up (with shovels), all the while remarking, "It's a good thing those civilians don't know we're out here covering all this stuff up." Later the same speaker goes on to remark, "Y'know, we're just one team out here hiding this evidence. Just think how many teams like ours are out this minute hiding other stuff we can't let the public know about!" And so, this scenario gradually percolates into the lexicon of public belief. Of course, no one pays any attention to INVASION OF THE SAUCERMEN. No one, that is, except true-blue SubGeniuses who know the value of top-grade Bulldada. It was only then that we moved to THIS ISLAND EARTH, and, still later, the immortal EEGAH! With Jett, Michael Peppe, Puzzling Evidence and KrOB, even after the sun comes up...

THE MARRIAGE OF TRUE MINDS
December 1, 2017 10:00pm

 

AN AWFUL, SPASMODIC START, when abruptly confronted with a maddeningly re-wired "board" and all equipment out of adjustment. Scratchy stops. Starts. But we get under weigh. The book is finished. And then... Dr. H. Owll is a minister of the Church of the SubGenius and yet legitimate, by virtue of a special legal dispensation. Yes, he has ecclesiastical authority, and has legally married many couples. And it was Puzzling Evidence who suggested he perform the ENTIRE Anglican Marriage Service on the Show. And lo, this happened. A new lo. God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Ghost, bless, preserve and keep you; the Lord mercifully with His Favour look upon you; and so fill you with all spiritual benediction and grace, that ye may so live together in this life, that in the world to come ye may have life everlasting. Amen. Also with Jett and Krob in attendance. Michael Peppe was too fatigued after his day at work as a medical experimental subject to come in. Only 3 more of these at the Old Station, or perhaps, in other circumstances, fewer.

THE IRON DUKE OF COFFIN CASTLE
November 24, 2017 10:00pm

 

RADIO VALENCIA will soon close its doors at its present location in the famed El Dorado Building, evicted in favor of a more high-paying tenant-- a Karate studio. Hii-Yah! In the beginning of Twenty-ought Eighteen, we'll be setting up our new digs in a far more low-rent spot, replacing comfortable luxury with gritty, urban necessity. O Tempora, O Mores! It may take a bit before we can actually put out any new shows from The Hub (our new pad, Dad). At least by that time we should have finished our chapter-by-chapter reading of James Thurber's novel of enchantment and frozen Time, THE 13 CLOCKS. We just presented Chapter Seven! Prince Zorn of Zorna battles the army of the cold Duke's dreaded Guards, including Krang, the strongest. Meanwhile, the Princess Saralinda, with the aid of the Golux, actually manages to start some of the frozen clocks. One more chapter-- and the Epilogue-- remain. We'll just get it done before the chaos and interruption begin. Well, here you go-- FIVE HOURS of natter and palaver, featuring Dr. H. Owll, KrOB and Puzzling Evidence. Download these last shows; they're going fast! Also featuring the poetry of Clark Ashton Smith and others. Special added attraction: Dr. H. Owll sings the ENTIRE Butternut Bread song! Wow, Gang!

THE ID IN THE KID
November 17, 2017 10:00pm

 

INSIDE, within the most civilized and urbane exterior, one may expect to find that unbridled, chimpanzee-like egotism and rage, capable of malice and violence, all forms of destructiveness. This is what we on the Show seek to banish. We are a philosophical symposium of peaceable Enlightenment, to which no subject is considered too "sensitive." Our Listeners know this, or seem to. Still, without conflict, where can there be any interest? --one may wonder. Well, Sir or Madam, the WHOLE MEGILLA is in conflict with the aims and power of the Conspiracy. But we (and the entire Church of the SubGenius) shall prevail, as we have long anticipated and expected. Three hundred minutes, if you have the time, featuring Dr. H. Owll, Michael Peppe, Jett, Puzzling Evidence (silent though present) and KrOB. Lively was the Chatterbox during this lengthy outing.

RECALLING THE LAMIA AND HER SERPENTS
November 10, 2017 10:00pm

 

SHE WAS A GORDIAN SHAPE of dazzling hue, Vermilion-spotted, golden, green, and blue; Striped like a zebra, freckled like a pard, Eyed like a peacock, and all crimson barr’d; And full of silver moons, that, as she breathed, Dissolv’d, or brighter shone, or interwreathed Their lustres with the gloomier tapestries— So rainbow-sided, touch’d with miseries, She seem’d, at once, some penanced lady elf, Some demon’s mistress, or the demon’s self. Upon her crest she wore a wannish fire Sprinkled with stars, like Ariadne’s tiar: Her head was serpent, but ah, bitter-sweet! She had a woman’s mouth with all its pearls complete: And for her eyes: what could such eyes do there, But weep, and weep, that they were born so fair? --As Proserpine still weeps for her Sicilian air. Her throat was serpent, but the words she spake Came, as through bubbling honey, for Love’s sake, And thus; while Hermes on his pinions lay, Like a stoop’d falcon ere he takes his prey. Three hundred minutes with Jett, Michael Peppe and Puzzling Evidence, in the soon-to-vanish Radio Valencia Redoubt.

THE INVESTIGATION CONTINUES
November 3, 2017 10:00pm

 

JETT AND PUZZLING EVIDENCE were present, though the latter was infrequently heard owing to the scarcity of usable microphones. And we hashed it all out. We chewed the fat. We kicked the old can around. We spun some yarn. We burnished some legends. Well, it was pharmaceutically augmented. Just the thing for such a fling. Note the extra hour.

THINGS TO COME
October 27, 2017 10:00pm

 

STUDIO GUEST MICHAEL PEPPE and a mostly silent Puzzling Evidence (they had only one working microphone between them) yak, palaver, hob-nob and otherwise confer as they look into the Deep Abysm of Time. With a special added extra hour, bringing it all to four hrs. in toto. More of THE THIRTEEN CLOCKS, more poetry of Dylan Thomas. Excerpted: SubGenius Movie confab with Night of Slack Nurse Kelly. Apocalyptic musings. With the Buffalo Bill Circus Orchestra and the T. J. Breckenridge Wild West Show Extravaganza...

INTER-DIMENSIONAL SOMETHING-OR-OTHER
October 20, 2017 10:00pm

 

RIGHT REVEREND MOTHER DOKTOR MILLER, our Special Guest for this episode, joins with Puzzling Evidence and Dr. H.Owll for a thorough treatment of significant issues, while, ordained by the Gods, beautiful music is heard. Don't expect to hear the National Anthem at the end-- we never played it. The whole thing is some four hours long, all you dementedly devoted fans. Hallelujahgobble!

UM... SUB-GENIUS WHAT, NOW?
October 13, 2017 10:00pm

 

THE SUBGENIUS MOVIE is under way-- look for it to appear in 2019. And we do discuss it, Puzzling Evidence, Nurse Kelly (from the original Night of Slack!) and Yrs. Truly. Oh, how we travel up strange byways. This episode is of special interest to Those Etherettes and Rocket Rookies who lust to hear what goes on Behind the Curtain, in... the Inner, Inner Ring. Three (3) hours, with NO concluding Anthem. Just SubGenius palaver. NEXT WEEK: Rev. Dr. Mother Miller, amid a bevy of stars!

EYEBALL MEN OF ALPHA CENTAURI
October 6, 2017 10:00pm

 

SLAVE SHIPS OF SATURN. METAL MURDERERS OF MARS. Vampire Vagrants of Venus. Skeleton Men of Jupiter. Actually, in the latter case, they APPEAR to be skeletons, but actually are not. As mentioned on this broad (Pod) -cast, they DO have bodies, but these are more or less transparent-- sometimes you can see, when looking at the Morgors (their name for themselves) a cloudy form, including, when you look closer, half-digested food in the intestines... Ick! Eeww! Perhaps you wouldn't want to look closer. Anyway, they (Jovian Skeleton Men) are, from all known accounts, an obnoxious, racially egocentric, aggressive and fractious bunch, not really worth getting to know. Also Featuring: Jett. With the poetry of Clark Ashton Smith (1893 – 1961) and Dylan Thomas (1914 – 1953). For hours! (4 hours).

PREHISTORIC MONSTER SPOTTED IN ARCTIC
September 29, 2017 10:00pm

 

FLASH-THAWED BY AN ATOMIC EXPLOSION, a giant Mesozoic reptile returns. With Jett, Spy (and KrOB, silent but in attendance), and Dr. H. Owll, still battling the Croaking Syndrome of long duration. Deep Time, anyone?

ADVANCED LARYNGITIS CONTINUES
September 22, 2017 10:00pm

 

STILL STRICKEN after more than two weeks, Dr. H. Owll manages no more than a pathetic croak, with both the upper and lower registers missing. Thank Gobbs that the faithful three, Jett, Michael Peppe and KrOB were on hand to do some of the heavy lifting. But enough is enough. Prayers to Aesculapius, solicited, arise with the smoke from beneath the tripod of the Pythoness. All that being considered, perhaps not so bad.

LIVES OF THE POETS
September 15, 2017 10:00pm

 

A GARRULOUS ENTRY in this Series, in which Dr. H. Owll, plied with Liquor and various Potations by his well-meaning Friends, speaks at length, and all too indiscreetly, about various Poets and Personages, living and dead. Abandoning Discretion as the Pod-cast moves through the allotted Hours, he spreads his unsolicited Opinions. Present were KrOB Sabrepop, Jett and Puzzling Evidence. It is perhaps of Interest to note here that "Dr. Howll" was not, during these Proceedings, a Well Man. Nay, he did suffer encroaching Laryngitis, and the Listener may care to compare his Voice at the start with its Croak at the Finish.

RE-INSERTION (WITH GUESTS)
September 8, 2017 10:00pm

 

BACK FROM SANDSTORMS AND THE SWIRLING DUST of the super-heated Desert, Dr. Hal diverts himself with the great voices of John Milton and Clark Ashton Smith. Then Jett and roistering Michael Peppe return things to their usual state. KrOB heavily contributes... until the Anthem is played...

...AAND NOW FOR THE DESERT...
August 18, 2017 10:00pm

 

HAVING ONLY RECENTLY RETURNED FROM HIS WANDERINGS, Dr. H. Owll now must depart again, and start again his gondola. This potential download-- please go ahead --documents the evening when the familiar, long-suffering group met for his last show until Friday, the Eighth of September. Present and accounted for: KrOB, Puzzling Evidence, Michael Peppe... but no Jett! Presumably caught in a holding pattern, the multi-talented Kaiju expert was unable to make a landing. For now, until Dr. H's reappearance in these latitudes, a LIVE Krewe will carry on right in this space, to provide the faithful with necessary entertainment and enlightenment. With Special Mystery Guests-- a certain mystery at the present time. Enjoy the Podcast while Dr. H. Owll sweats and struggles in the burning sun and lifeless, unforgiving waste.

TURBA PHILOSOPHORUM (CROWD OF SAGES)
August 11, 2017 10:00pm

 

AFTER RETURNING AT LAST from X-Day and later travels, Dr. H. Owll was gratified to have a veritable Symposium (and that's the best kind) of towering intellects as voluble guests. One more of these, and then he makes the next arduous trip-- this one to the fabled Black Rock Desert. But the Show this time boasts a Smorgasbord of philosophic sages. We counted among these Jett, Rusty Rebar (avec fetching companion Lisbet), Sebastian Melmoth (yes, him) about to set forth on more Wanderings, Michael Peppe, KrOB the Unbelievable (couldn't get Varan on short notice) and Ralph Fielding Snell. A brief vision of Puzzling Evidence was apparently hallucinatory. Settle back and hear them go at it!

CURSE OF THE CHATTERING CLASS
July 28, 2017 10:00pm

 

THE PUNDITOCRACY OF ASK DR. HAL! go at it hammer and tongs. Weighty items from the Current Events of the day are discussed and evaluated. Much breath is spent, many words rapidly articulated. Some listeners may have trouble distinguishing cynicism from sarcasm, sophistry from advanced theoretical speculation. When it all winds down, the jaws cease clattering. Dr. H. Owll himself will re-appear next week...

THE LIBELLULA
July 21, 2017 10:00pm

 

LIBELLULA, OH, LIBELLULA. De lovely Libellula! Watch her soar, watch some more, for all the good 'twill do ya. And hear the sound come reach the ground, that sound that goes right through ya. It's a genus of dragonflies, commonly called skimmers, in the family Libellulidae, distributed throughout the temperate zone of the Northern Hemisphere. And it's also a most unusual aircraft, seen here. See and hear Puzzling Evidence and the Krewe as they produce Synasthetic images through the pure Power of Suggestion.

LIFE FORMS OF THE BLACK ROCK DESERT "PLAYA"
July 15, 2017 1:00am

 

THE WEIRD INSECTS THAT APPEARED last year at the Burning Man Arts Festival near Gerlach, Nevada, heretofore scientifically unknown, have recently yielded insight into the Transposon, a segment of DNA that can replicate itself and move around to different positions within the genome. These Transposons can cause mutations, change the amount of DNA in the cell and dramatically influence the structure and function of the genomes where they reside. Since these "bugs" (not all Hemipterans) frequently feed on humans, it is conceivable that bugs and humans may have exchanged DNA through the mechanism just uncovered. Detecting recent transfers to humans would require examining people that have been exposed to the bugs for thousands of years, such as Native American populations. Anyone who has been to the area is automatically a perfect subject for observation and experimentation. Yes, data on the insect and the snail provide strong, if still puzzling evidence, for the previously hypothesized role of host-parasite interactions in facilitating horizontal transfer of genetic material. Additionally, the large amount of DNA generated by the horizontally transferred Transposons, in all their glory, supports the idea that the exchange of genetic material between hosts and parasites influences their genomic evolution.

THE LUNCHEON ON THE GRASS
July 14, 2017 10:00pm

 

THE KREWE GO QUITE INFORMAL on this occasion, to gain lasting fame when it will be said they boldly, defiantly broke away from the classical view that "art" should obey established conventions and seek to achieve timelessness. The Podcast was rejected by the so-called "Hipsters, Techies" or "Yuccies" as "triggering" intangible feelings of being disapproved of. The rejection was occasioned not so much by the female nude Cabaret performer (depicted), a well-known, oft-limned singer-dancer in Hollywood film shorts (in this particular case in no shorts)-- a classical subject --as by her presence in a modern setting, accompanied by bumptious, grinning, bourgeois m-e-n.

Yet the Show only pays tribute to Radio Valencia's artistic heritage, borrowing our subject from The Pastoral Concert - a painting by Titian attributed at the time to Giorgione (now in the Louvre) - and taking his inspiration for the composition of the central group from the Marcantonio Raimondi engraving after Raphael's Judgement of Paris, in the mode of Dave Fleischer. Let us know what YOU think.

ROCKET ROOKIES AND ETHERETTES
July 8, 2017 1:00am

 

THE LOYAL FANS "tuned in" in droves (like cattle) to see how the Krewe performed on a rudderless ship. They found that all did nobly. Without that pedantic Dr. H. Owll around, this thing's a hell of a lot of fun! No animals were harmed, or renegade large spiders squashed, at any time during this episode. What you hear to the contrary are simply sound effects. Masterfully engineered, ultra-realistic sound effects...

HOVERING SAUCERS OF X-DAY
July 7, 2017 10:00pm

 

X-DAY IS A TRADITIONAL PART of the Church of the SubGenius, a religion formed as a parody of cults and extreme religious groups, and that sect's Sacred Books, VHS tapes, comic books, recordings, DVDs, Cassettes, CDs, various pamphlets and claims. X-Day fell, falls or is to fall on July 5, 1998, the scheduled "End of the World", and has been celebrated on July 5 each year since then. [But major changes are afoot.] From its inception in 1980, the Church has prophesied that an army of Alien invaders (known as the "X-ists" or "Space Babes From Planet X") will land on the planet Earth and destroy the non-Sub-G world of "Normals", "Pinks", and "Glorps," while the Members of the Church of the SubGenius shall be rescued by the Aliens and taken away into space. Argument within the Church presently rages over whether or not "the real 1998" has, in fact, actually taken place...

NEW STUDY: TYPICAL RADIO VALENCIA AUDIENCE PROFILED
June 30, 2017 10:00pm

 

DR. HAL WAS GONE, Man, we mean real gone, dig? He was, like, already at X-Day, in more ways than one. So it was up to the ADH Krewe, and in they came, to provide the audience a LIVE show, rather than the dread "re-run," ever so-o uncool. Way, WAY uncool. See, like these swingin' science studies, dig, they sample audience profile numbers, computer algorithms and all that crazy jive, and, dig, they "made a determination" that the, like, statistically average Ask Dr. Hal! Show listener just doesn't roll with that nowheresville re-run scene. Matter of fact, the cat would rather groove on ANYTHING else than a re-run. So, like, your wish is our command, Baby. Lend us your ears and listen in while the Dr. H. Owll-less Ask Dr. Hal! Show kicks out the jams. Get set for lots of this.

A MULTI-KAIJU ADIEU
June 23, 2017 10:00pm

 

AS PREVIOUSLY THREATENED, Jett brought in a huge container of Kaiju monsters; these made themselves at home in the Studio with great rapidity. They were everywhere, and unfortunately no respecters of the control board. Several times Michael Peppe or another guest would find himself cut off when a wandering claw, tentacle of tail brushed a button and caused the proceedings to come to a standstill. KrOB was there to fix things, though. Puzzling Evidence sat apart, not wishing to get on the microphone or chat with Pete Goldie. Dr. H. Owll presided over his last show on Radio Valencia for the next five weeks. But, Rocket Rookies and Etherettes, fear not! The Dr. Hal Krewe will be on the job during that interval. On August 11th, should he return safely, the live Dr. Hal will be heard in the mix again. And now-- off to X-Day-- and beyond!

WHEN THE BRAIN COMES DOWN THE CHIMNEY...
June 16, 2017 10:00pm

 

...I'll be there, I'll be there; when the brain comes down the chimney I'll be there (I'll be there)-- when the brain comes down the chim-neeee, I'll... be... there! With Very Especial Guests Jett, Michael Peppe, at his absolute best, Puzzling Evidence and KrOB. And KrOB carried it on afterward, too. Now, for the next six weeks the show will be in other hands, while I'm on my travels. Probably their hands. I shall return-- to whatever's left. When I'm back I'll update the Podcast Page.

BIG DOWNTOWN SCIENCE SHOWDOWN
June 9, 2017 10:00pm

 

Jett, Michael Peppe, Dr. H. Owll, Puzzling Evidence and KrOB were joined by acerbic ADH Science Solon Pete "Starman" Goldie. Although Pete never got close enough to a microphone, he did engage heavily, as they say, with the two new Kaiju creatures Jett had brought to the studio. Like the recent Giant Spider visitor, the gaudier of the two unthinkable alien beings showed aggression, when, apparently inadvertently insulted in some inter-species fashion by "Doc" Goldie's sharp tongue, It became enraged-- and went right for Pete. Quite a tussle it was. Clean-living Pete eventually prevailed against tentacles and mouth-parts... And there was other stuff, too, to fill the three hour slot we've been allotted. These are great nights and days, but soon Dr. Howll must begin his annual travels. A Substitute Crewe will do the honors for the next five weeks after our last show on June 23rd.

THE TEMPLE OF THE TWENTY-FACETED ICOSAHEDRON
June 2, 2017 10:00pm

 

AS USUAL,THE SHOW BEGAN and Meeting called as per our plan. Spy and Allison were there; we spoke with the bewitching pair. Then in came our good friend Jett, pitching significance, you bet. Michael Peppe did not show. What he missed he'll never know. Then came KrOB with his screen, then Puzzling Evidence was seen. Science, and the World at Large, were met, when our Team led the charge. Through the night like steeds we cantered. All the while we japed and bantered. Dawn at length drove us away, to our earth-boxes, from our play.

FUNNY, YOU DON'T LOOK KAIJU-ISH
May 26, 2017 10:00pm

 

A CARAVAN OF GUESTS troops through the Studio, and there are microphones for all. Long conversations, augmented, strive toward improvements in understanding and interpersonal consilience. Jett's Kaiju monsters are heard from again, including in particular one eerily glowing, malevolent mini-mite whose radiated presence fills the room. Michael Peppe is conspicuously there, as well. Poems by Blake, Poe et al.

SPY vs SPIDER
May 19, 2017 10:00pm

 

ANOTHER NIGHT of Special Guests-- Jocund Jett, Sultry Spy and Kryptic KrOB. Faith, we were up a-yakkin' 'til Cockcrow. But there was another Guest, as it turned out, a giant Aranea spider. Not the oversized tropical spider inadvertently liberated by Michael Peppe recently-- that same arachnid seems to have taken up clandestine housekeeping behind the storage racks in the anteroom, where (so far!) she prefers brooding over her egg sac to emerging to confront visitors. But this newly encountered web-spinning giant dropped in for a visit. NOTE: Dr. H. Owll has encountered these before. They generally live in the upper hills of San Francisco. A few years back he literally ran into one, walking into the huge web, which was to all intents and purposes invisible, while traversing from upper 21st Street to the 22nd Street Steps, his habitual mode of descent. A truly huge Aranea crawled on him that time, one larger than Science allows. Now another such creature has entered the studio, not part of but perhaps drawn to Jett's amazingly comprehensive Spider Collection. Perhaps listeners can be excused in thinking "the drugs" were responsible. Indeed, they augmented the experience. But Spy actually got tired of screaming and photographed the eight-legged visitor with her phone. NEXT: BATTLE OF THE GIANTS!

THE RADIO VALENCIA GIANT SPIDER INVASION
May 12, 2017 10:00pm

 

Recovered from the Hypno-Kat's baleful effects (see Episode #27262, we were all set to enjoy a crowded but fun three hours plus, up in our snug Studio atop San Francisco's famed El Dorado Building. Visitors included Jett, Tracy Feldstein (and, later, Donald Bruce), Puzzling Evidence, the vivacious Spy Girlfriday and Barnacle Bill. Later, the ebullient Michael Peppe joined the crowd. Conversation and refreshments flowed freely. And we may as well admit that the latter included an array of... controlled substances, let us say. Well, it seemed OK to do, though Dr. H. Owll knew he was in for "the long haul," since some of these things, intense as they are, don't wear off for many hours. In truth, he felt on the cusp of queasiness, especially when Jett, an entomologist-arachnologist among other interests, began to produce specimen after specimen of various kinds of huge spider from his collection. The first group of these were instars, which is to say the molted hairy skins, with all anatomical details still present, of a number of large Lycosidae, or Wolf Spiders. Soon "Dr. Howll" was feeling unavoidable nauseous arachnophobia as these things were held in his face, one after the other, so he could see them properly... The party went on, more drinks were consumed, and the show continued. After Dr. H.'s viewing of super-venomous scorpions and the preserved remains of Huntsman Spiders, Jett next introduced the stars of his collection: the Egg Sac of a giant tropical bird-eating spider, then, abruptly, the spider herself, who seemed to be scrabbling furiously at the plastic container's walls while she watched us handle her eggs. Matters came to a head when a flailing Michael Peppe, ironically trying to demonstrate how he WOULDN'T knock the specimen case open, did just that with the bottom of the beer bottle he was waving. Shrieks and chaos ensued... perhaps it made "good radio" to listen to... The giant adult scrambled across the board, moving with incredible speed, seized the egg bundle with her chelicerae, and dropped to the floor to run out the studio door. It was difficult to move as fast, and by the time we had disentangled from headphones and microphone, we could just see Theraphosa blondei squeezing her 9-pound body behind the storage rack on the North side of the anteroom. No one was in any shape to try to get her out of there, what with the drugs and all. This giant is probably still there. Unlike the typical coloration of her species, brown to light-brown blondish bristles, this particular spider is dark brown, almost black-- the result of natural variation. The mouth parts and fang sheaths are, as usually noted, of a bright red color. These are aggressive spiders which WILL pursue and attack humans-- the venom is quite deadly, too. She may simply be planning to hatch her eggs, but it's also possible hunger may bring her out. So Radio Valencia now is more unique than ever as it houses the largest and most aggressive spider on Earth. Next week: we'll probably schedule a re-run and not personally come in.

MIND-THRALLS OF THE HYPNO-KAT
May 5, 2017 10:00pm

 

HELLO. I'm... Dr. Howland Owll. And, I'm here tonight to tell you about an incredibly powerful being, a source of mental stimulation and a sponsor, you could say, for this very program. Also featuring... Michael Peppe! But no one else. No one else appeared, but we two had a pleasant chat, up to and then beyond the temporal bounds of our allotted space. As has long been known, felines secrete a substance, an enzyme, which they rub on you. This makes you want to serve them and take care of them. Depending on frequency of propinquity and dosage, one may be subtly bound to the service of the animal. With more cats, the servanthood, so to speak, is certain to be greater. Cat Ladies are famously overrun and overwhelmed, mere walking servitors of the Cat Hive. Let's suppose-- just for an instant! --that at the very top of the graph for Cat Overlords there exist a few powerful felids, or perhaps just One... who control their minions not electrochemically, but by a long-range, feline-centered ability of mental induction. Anyway, we hope you enjoy the show. All Hail his Magnificence, the Hypno-Kat!

DOWNLADABLY MORE
April 29, 2017 1:00am

 

HERE IT IS, FOLKS-- the Overflow from a psychedelic, entheogenic what-you-may-call-it, spiced with passion, sauced with memory, laced with rue. How those guys do go on. As long as there is fuel, the fire burns. And so many guests that night, but in successive waves, so them in t'first part ne'er met them in the nextmost part. But it's all kind of apiece, and there may be gems to extract from the dross. Rhinestones, even.

PEDANTRY UNDER THE DOME
April 28, 2017 10:00pm

 

A LONG, LONG NIGHT of Show, with only 3 hours to present from it here. But the Guest List principally is found in the first three. Jett hit Mach 5 on the way over, so we weren't late. No hideous set-up mis-adjustment as happened last iteration. In fact, Spy Emerson, when she appeared, flexing her mighty musculature, brought in B.F Barnacle Bill, a super-technology specialist among other talents. Swiftly and silently, the Barnacle perfectly adjusted the battery of microphones, a skill thoroughly beyond antiquated, doddering Dr. H. Owll, so there was a "mike" for everyone who came. Who? Oh, besides Jett, Spy and the wonder-working Barnacle, we boasted Pete and Sarah Goldie. Then there was the great KrOB. All the while, sprites, imps, minor angels and demons and ghosts from the El Dorado Building leered in upon us. But NOW how does it sound?

From CHAOS to QUEEN OF BLOOD
April 21, 2017 10:00pm

 

SOMETHING WAS NOT RIGHT at the beginning of the episode; the controls would not respond. Volume of music sounded at full blast in the earphones and could not be adjusted. Sound levels dropped and rose. We were ready to give up on it all (did the S.F. Power Out(r)age earlier that day have anything to do with it?) and just concede defeat. But tinkering around with the equipment somehow fixed things (we wish we could understand what we did) and encouraging words from the Chatterbox helped us immeasurably. Things really took a turn for the better when Puzzling Evidence dropped by. And so, we watched QUEEN OF BLOOD, something we always wanted to do. With Basil Rathbone, Dennis Hopper, John Saxon, the bewitching Judi Meredith, Forry Ackerman(!) and a green-skinned Florence Marly. ETHERETTES AND ROCKET ROOKIES! There is ONE more LIVE Ask Dr. Hal! Show this Thursday. Drop by the Chez Poulet Gallery-Cabaret if you're in the local area...

RACINE MEETS THE RV SUBGENIUS SWARM
April 14, 2017 10:00pm

 

THE RIGHT REVEREND DOKTOR MOTHER MILLER, a special visitor to the Studio, found herself surrounded by the agitated entomology of the twitching SubBugs-- first Jett, then KrOB, then Michael Peppe, flailing away with all six limbs, then Puzzling Evidence... all the time Dr. H. "Gregor" Owll did what he could to promote the general welfare of his guests and show. On it went, through the night with those lovable, bloated, human-sized arthropods, and here's the first three hours. Technical difficulties at the beginning were the result of system failure, not just a poor workman blaming his tools...

STAR RATS BLAST OFF!
April 7, 2017 10:00pm

 

Thanks to our friends the renowned and redoubtable Pooh-Bah Players, we led off with more than half an hour of Radio Drama-- not Pat Novak this time (Pat will be back sometime this Summer) but a fast-paced tail --er, tale, that is, of the Spaceways, and rocketing rodents scampering through the Cosmos. Not to be missed. And then, of course, there was other stuff, but only just before the End we were visited by KrOB and Puzzling Evidence. NEXT WEEK: Right Reverend Doktor Mother Miller will be featured, and possibly other Special Guests. Wow! And make sure, if you're relatively local, to come to our Thursday night LIVE show! Only 3 left!

FLAILING, FLAILING...
March 31, 2017 10:00pm

 

MICHAEL J. PEPPE, the famed '80s Performance Artiste, has difficulty restraining his bounding natural exuberance. And so it was, on this night, the Eve of St. Stupid's Day, when he, KrOB, Puzzling Evidence and Jett came in to be guests on the last Podcast before Live Shows begin on April 6th. These live stage shows, it should be noted, at the legendary Chez Poulet Gallery-Cabaret, a.k.a. Chicken John's Warehouse, will run every Thursday night, April 13th, 20th and 27th following the opening night, at 9 PM, barring Acts of God or the Devil. And, YOU can get tickets online or at the door. Oh, don't worry, these Podcasts, not being on the same night, as in the past, will keep coming. Well, whatever was the cause, Mr. Peppe, buzzing with drugs, just couldn't keep still, like any force of Nature, with a disastrous effect on the microphones, cables and studio in general. He even managed to start a small fire, which we did extinguish. What a Frenetic Fervor. Some were entertained by this. For three hours. Well, that's it, folks. Come to the Show if you're local. 3359 Cesar Chavez Boulevard (at Mission). Be there for the end of the private life.

BUGS IN THE SYSTEM?
March 24, 2017 10:00pm

 

Science, Folklore, Nostalgia, Film Criticism, Politics, Gossip, Innuendo... all come skittering out of the woodwork in this episode of The World's Most Inconsequential Talk Show. On the other hand, "Poets are the Unwritten Legislators of Mankind." --Shelley. On the OTHER hand, if you guys really want to start solving the world's problems, write some poems, already. One poem IS included in here, by Clark Ashton Smith, somewhere before midway through the, er, Dark Wood (referenced). Then "gleeful chaos" and Glossolalia descend. Perpetrators: Michael Peppe, Jett Jackson, KrOB, Puzzling Evidence. Perp.-in-Chief: Dr. Howland Owll. Three hours of this stuff, though after signoff it still continued... to past dawn...

ECSTATIC VISIONS OF THE NIGHT CREW
March 17, 2017 10:00pm

 

This meeting of like minds was professionally augmented. Alterations in inboard chemistry were sampled by Dr. H. Owll, Michael J. Peppe and Jett; also present were Puzzling Evidence and KrOB, though largely unheard. Actually the whole thing went on and on, not winding up until after 5:30 AM. But here, for now, are the first three hours, also featuring interpretations of the poetry of Dylan Thomas and Clark Ashton Smith. The sharp-eared may note the transition point, occurring just after the recitation of the Tenth Psalm. DON'T FORGET: Etherettes and Rocket Rookies take note-- April will bring the long awaited LIVE Ask Dr. Hal! Night Club show, put on "just where you think it'll be put on" (in the haunted post-Ghost Ship landscape). Reserve your tickets now, or purchase them at the door.

TIME CONTROL IN THEORY & PRACTICE
March 10, 2017 10:00pm

 

Uses and Abuses - Acceleration and deceleration - False Time Control - Alternate Methods - Assorted Epiphenomena - Taking a Reading - Chronar - The Temporal Vacuole/travel capsule - Inertia and its problems - Alternates and other Time Tracks - Ethics of Time Control - Obstacles in Arrival Paths - Impetus - Time and Gravity Waves - Vortices - Time Travel Sickness (Chronoperigrinitis)- Out of Time - Poetry of Poe, Clark Ashton Smith and Dylan Thomas. The very latest X-Day recapitulation on disc(s) from SubGenius HQ. No visitors. No listeners.

A CROWNLESS KING
March 3, 2017 10:00pm

 

POETRY of Clark Ashton Smith. Poetry of Dylan Thomas. Poetry of Leigh Hunt. Selections from James Thurber's FABLES FOR OUR TIME. A nosegay of musical offerings. And a visit from those peripatetic night-birds, the Goldies, dropping in after leaving from yet another exclusive, glamorous soiree. Remix we mix; same old old tricks. Let's hope the starter kicks, so the planned performance sticks. If it will or wont's unclear. All we know is, we'll be here.

OCULUS ASPICIT NOS...
February 24, 2017 10:00pm

 

...tenebrarius in Tenebris. A dark eye looks at us darkly in darkness. Well, what if it does? WE have powerful charms and protections, spells woven round about. Expert Sages and Mages have conjured impenetrable protective barriers, with interlocking spells and terrible Words, never to be articulated except in time of greatest need. And, within the Guardian Circle, just look, or rather listen to, what goes on. Clark Ashton Smith's poetic cantrips and incantations. New Archival material from SubGenius Headquarters, a profound question (complete with emolument) from Washington, D.C.'s own Mob Meattie... And then, in come KrOB, Michael Peppe, Dr, Penny, Puzzling Evidence and sultry Mystery Siren 342638. All get busy a-palaverin' and a-yakkin. Never mind that big, scary EYE trying to intimidate us. There'll be more like this. And, in the Name of Dobbs, Contribute, everybody, won't you-- to the Ask Dr. Hal! Kickstarter-- use those Search Words to find it-- and help inaugurate an ALL-NEW series of LIVE A.D.H. performances-- in April...

ALL THAT GLISTERS IS NOT GOLDIE
February 17, 2017 10:00pm

 

Right Reverend Doktor Mother Miller was our special guest. Things progressed about as usual; questions were asked (remotely) and answered (in situ). Then "Doc" Goldie and Sarah Zee paid a welcome surprise visit. Imagine OUR surprise, however, when we were taken to task-- by that selfsame Science Solon, for remarks made in a letter to Ringmonster "Chicken" John. Fortunately, our lawyer was present. Remember, Friends of ADH, to support the Kickstarter effort now underway to put on the most memorable version of the "live" Show yet! And, if it happens, this one'll be on a Thursday, NOT Friday this time, so your long-cultivated listening habitual preferences will not be affronted.

PULLED INTO THE VERTIGINOUS ABYSS...
February 10, 2017 10:00pm

 

Many things are taking place in the world of Ask Dr. Hal! We have a chance to do the live show, if "Chicken" John's latest attempt-- a Kickstarter solicitation to the fans --pans out. That will be, if it is, in April of this Year of Grace 2017 Anno Domini. Well, here we feature William Blake and Clark Ashton Smith among others. Never say we aren't consistent. Earlier efforts are plowed under, to fertilize the new crop coming up. What is that, to one who reaps not harvest of his youthful joys, though the deep heart of existence beat forever, like a boy's? Knowledge comes, but Wisdom lingers-- and We linger, on the shore, and the individual withers, and the world is more and more. Thanks for inspiration (and all apologies to) Alexiuss.

A REMOTE, DISTANT WORLD
February 3, 2017 10:00pm

 

...beyond the margin of the Heliopause. A barren planet. A ringed planet, though that's not all that special a distinction; more than one planet actually has rings, and even Earth itself could be said to have rings of a sort. The Sun in such realms appears as a feeble smear of light in the sky, even though it's still the brightest thing around. Fortunately, on the Show we had Jett, and KrOB to navigate in the second half. Neither Puzzling Evidence nor fair-weather sailor Michael Peppe deigned to venture out in the ongoing Cosmic Storm.

IN THE SHADOW OF THE TRUMPTOPUS
January 27, 2017 10:00pm

 

Dr. H. Owll began solo, with selections from Blake's Prophetic poem "America." We also heard from the late Whitman McGowan, always missed in this year of Grace, as is the late Jeff Robins (obit. 2002)-- and that vintage rambunctious radio team, the Robins Bros. are heard as well in this anterior end of the program, interspersed with various poetic snippets and sweetbreads. Then, brightening the gloom in the room, in came Zee, our visiting angel Sarah G., the sole guest for the rest of the slot, who enlightened us about many things under Heaven on this Earth (Portrait above by Mark Bryan).

THE TREASURE VAULTS OF RADIO VALENCIA
January 20, 2017 10:00pm

 

Und zo, upon returning from the Sonoran Desert, Dr. Howland Owll could boast he mostly hosted a host of fellow-travelers. Jett skyed in on wings of thunder, dodging the Puz-Ev Drone. Soon, lovely Sarah Szczechowicz Goldie, also known as Zee, appeared with her well turned-out consort, "Doc" Goldie, the Tile Specialist, both still glamorously outfitted from the Anti-Inaugural Ball they'd been attending... KrOB too contributed to the ambiance. And, admitted somehow, was, we must admit, famed '80's Performance Artist sensation Michael J. Peppe-- yes, Peppe! --who can't keep a Code in the Head. All locks, wards, tumblers and the like being changed, life went on, thrilling as always, if less secure. Refreshments were served.

WELL-MAN-AGED IN THE INTERIM
January 13, 2017 10:00pm

 

Dr. H. Owll had to take a powder, as it were. He went to the Arizona desert for a 10-day period, to visit, fraternize and otherwise hob-nob with various alchemists, sorcerers and magicians (but of course no necromancers). Puzzling Evidence took the Ask Dr. Hal! helm with elan. It was a beautiful thing, and the results are HERE...

BATTLE WITH TEN MILLION SKELETONS
January 6, 2017 10:00pm

 

As the Storm of the Century hits, Dr. H. Owll, KrOB Sabrepop and Jett are safe three stories above the street. High wind rocks the El Dorado Building as the colloquy continues. And eventually the name Ray Harryhausen arises, as it must. Oh, there will be much more on Harryhausen as this series continues, part of our SubGenius Heritage and a classic exponent of stop-motion animation, the great and noble art. To many computer-manipulators, "animation" means moving things around in the frame. But the root of the word lies in "anima," or soul-- true animation is the puppeteer's uncanny art of investing the subject with a soul of personality. And, there's the metaphorical, allegorical, analogical aspect ever hovering... over, perhaps, if it were uncharitably said, those who watched one monster movie too many.

WAITING... WAITING FOR THE SPACE GODDESSES
December 30, 2016 10:00pm

 

THE LAST SHOW of the Old Year passes... with Dr. H. Owll, Jett, Michael Peppe, and, sitting silently in the corner, Puzzling Evidence. How we wish for a lack of encumbrances, a relaxation of binding gravitational fields, a condition of inherent freedom without reference to codes or regulations. But, though the departing year releases us, we are still hemmed in on all sides. At such times, even as we wish all our listeners and Fellow Travelers the best of hopes for a year which looms with inherent anxiety, we renew our hopes that the Space Goddesses will arrive and descend. 2017's X-Day may well be the "true" one. Pete Goldie appeared for a flash, almost above the threshold of perception, but was then gone. Meanwhile, we hashed things out in the usual fashion, swilling Absinthe and Champagne...

OFF ON A COMET
December 23, 2016 10:00pm

 

Periodically, the ASK DR. HAL! Podcast returns, in its orbit, to the "bottle" show condition, wherein Dr. Howland Owll, solus, not contending with unruly, chaotic guests, instead mixes and performs the presentation on his own, in its entirety. On this seldom-experienced world, pace, content and music are all from a single source, without such interference as might ordinarily emanate from the Personal Devices of guests. We understand that there are more than a few Listeners who actually prefer these Shows to all the others; for them the recitations from Clark Ashton Smith and other uncompromising explorers of the Noosphere are a holiday from idle on-air chatterboxes. For them are such Shows as these-- perhaps not, indeed, of the reassuring quality generally found in standard programming, but still sufficient to provide protection against the indifferent, overarching, unforgiving vastness and deep, primordial cold of enveloping Outer Space. Three hours.

ODD CAST PODCAST
December 16, 2016 10:00pm

 

The Journey of the Magi begins. It takes a while to travel at this time of year by camel, the very worst time for a journey-- and such a long journey: the ways deep, the weather sharp, the very dead of winter. And with Dr. Hal coming down with Scholar's Epizootis, too, a drain of energy. But the festal time must be acknowledged. Oh, it was a merry party, avec Jett, Pete Goldie, Puzzo and KrOB, Lynn and... Michael Peppe. Like the Efreets of Peristan, like Djinn of Chaos, the whirling forces of disorder scattered the show to the four corners of the Earth by the time the National Anthem played. That "Manger" you've heard of-- yes, it was one, but it was in a cave. Saves too much building just for a lot of critters. And then... just look what happened...

GUEST KEEPS US HONEST
December 9, 2016 10:00pm

 

In-studio guest Right Reverend Doktor Mother Miller shows Dr. H. Owll and other visitors how to live and flourish, all the while hewing to some of the Principles of the Church of the SubGenius. Archival material gives way to an open symposium of the Sacred and Profane...

LES VISITEURS DU SOIR
December 2, 2016 10:00pm

 

A feint by the Goldies. Then, Jett, Puzzling Evidence, Nurse Annabella, and Michael Peppe. An interrupted four-way conversation continued. Technical difficulties. Sparks spitting and smoke. Much stimulation. No floor, ceiling or walls. The cosmic spaces leer. The baying of the Hounds of Tindalos. Keep those cards and letters coming in. Our Country, Like It or Not.

ABSOLUTE ZERO
November 25, 2016 10:00pm

 

In this episode, Storm Clouds are followed by the usual poems and pedantry. And we bring on the great Zero Boy, the Toast of New York. In fact, also the scrambled eggs, bacon and full glass of orange juice of New York-- then almost through his latest pass through S.F. and adjoining regions. With him came the beauteous DJ Claudia M. Costa, who played the flute to boot. Z.B. riffed-- it's his gift. We concluded with the ruminations of Dr. Pete Goldie, Astronomer Royal to the Ask Dr. Hal! Show and related enterprises. And we raised a few glasses, anticipating Dr. H. Owll's Birthday (November 28th)...

THE COSMIC RAYS GIVE WAY TO MICHAEL PEPPE
November 18, 2016 10:00pm

 

We are constantly bombarded with the so-called Cosmic Rays-- this show explored that phenomenon and some of its ramifications. Starting at about 335 miles, or 56 kilometers above the Earth's surface, this alien radiation breaks atoms apart, and the contents rain down toward the surface at the speed of light, including muons. These transient particles, neither super-heavy nor particularly lightweight, have a mass equal to about 208 electrons. Though they have a short life-span, with a half-life of just two millionths of a second, they can cause harm if they happen to strike the wrong bit of genetic material in a cell's nucleus. 240 muons flash through your body every second. But Michael Peppe, famed Performance Artist, was bravely unconcerned about this as he visited our Ask Dr. Hal! studio. With: KrOB Sabrepop, Puzzling Evidence.

BETTY AND VERONICA'S EMBARRASSING BEACH DAY
November 4, 2016 10:00pm

 

Make sure you're where you're supposed to be. Then, much chagrin will not follow. Do your homework first, before trying something new. That's what we say at ASK DR. HAL! In this episode we are once again visited, courtesy of Puzzling Evidence, with none other than, you guessed it-- Michael Peppe. Just imagine the hi-jinks and hilarity. For enlightened adults only.

CAVEMEN vs. DINOSAURS
October 28, 2016 10:00pm

 

As has been pointed out, and ignored, many times, skin impressions are not uncommon among the Dinosauria and have been clearly preserved in sauropods, ornithopods, stegosaurs, ankylosaurs, ceratopsians and theropods; and some are preserved with internal organs. Yet in no case is there evidence of structures that could be remotely construed as feathers. Among the more notable theropods that preserve integument is the Lower Cretaceous Spanish Pelecanimimus, which exhibits an integument with a distinctive cross-hatching on the surface, representing wrinkling of the hide, but the surface of the skin is smooth, devoid of scales, much less hair or feathers. In 1996, Alexander Kellner reported preserved skin in a Brazilian theropod, showing under scanning electron microscopy a very thin epidermis, formed mostly by irregular quadrangles bordered by deep grooves in a crisscross pattern. But, as Mark Twain once said, you can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

COSMIC CONVERSE AVEC DR. PENNY
October 21, 2016 10:00pm

 

Studio visitor Dr. Penny came to S.F. to see the (now-cancelled) live show. But we had fun on Reloadio Valencia instead. Much poetry, pedantry and periphrastic perspicacity. Making the best of it. From the depths of Time, the farthest reaches of Space, to your quivering ears.

ASK DR. HAL! -- THE LIVE SHOW (A SIMULCAST)
October 14, 2016 10:00pm

 

Thanks to our own Dr. Fiasco, we did, in the end, manage a simulcast, of sorts. Curious about what the debut of the stage show was like? We've got the audio. Yes, it's possible to hear most of what went on, though there are patches of sub-standard sound quality which must be endured along the way... NEXT WEEK: we try again, natch-- until we get this by-Our-Lady simulcast thing down! With Chicken John, David Capurro, Pete Goldie, Dr. Hal-- and the hovering ghost of KrOB (maybe we'll get the real thing back for our second show?)over all. A co-production with the San Francisco Institute of Possibility (SFIOP).

NO LIVE SHOW, SO HERE WE GO
October 14, 2016 10:00pm

 

The live Ask Dr. Hal! Show was suddenly and unexpectedly cancelled by Chicken John. Will there be others? Time will tell. Certain internal problems must be dealt with. So it's back to "radio" in the meantime (we like Dr. Goldie's useful term for our podcasts, "Reloadio"). Here we continue to explore the too little-heard poetry of the great American poet Clark Ashton Smith, with a rendition from Dr. Hal of his THE STAR-TREADER. And we also let Samuel Taylor Coleridge (seen above)pay us a call, as that poet's DEJECTION: AN ODE was also interpreted... then, poet Rusty Rebar visited us, as well as RV's own Karen Carpenter, the lovely Sarah Szczechowicz-Goldie, KrOB and even Puzzling Evidence, though the latter was, it turned out, only there to observe. Much fun ensued, you bet...

THE ONLY PODCAST OF THE ONLY SHOW
October 7, 2016 10:00pm

 

THANKS and a flip o' the ASK DR. HAL! Fez to our own Dr. Fiasco, daring and skilled audio engineer. Despite illness and exhaustion he brokered the podcast (They Said It Couldn't Be Done) of what was to be the first of four live shows at the elegant Chez Poulet Gallery-Cabaret-- or, as some prefer to call it, Chicken John's Warehouse. Ah, for that moment preserved in digital amber. The persistent may enjoy this, though audio quality may vary. After this, "Chicken" abruptly cancelled the remaining shows for October-- just a few hours before the second show! This is what remains...

TURBA PHILOSOPHORUM QUORUM
September 30, 2016 10:00pm

 

First guest of the night was Spy, then there was Sarah Szczechowicz Goldie, then Don and Tracy, then Michael Peppe and Puzzling Evidence. All trooped through a show of variant hues and intensity, but many voices produced the result. It was a cauldron, or caldera of intellectual eruption. As when the Force of Subterranean Wind Transports a Hill, torn from Pelorus, Or the shatter'd side of thundering Aetna, Whose combustible and fueled Entrails, thus conceiving Fire, Subim'd with minerall Fury, Aid the Winds and leave a singed Bottom all involv'd With stench and smoke.

AT HOME WITH THE MUNSTERS
September 23, 2016 10:00pm

 

We begin tonight's episode with a visit to that distinctive house at 1313 Mockingbird Lane. Did you know that "The Munsters" theme music had lyrics? Hear them here. Dr. H. Owll is received by, and briefly visits, Herman and Lily, with a side trip to "Grandpa's" underground laboratory. The family's dragon-ish pet, Spot, also roars at us when we arrive. Visit is otherwise entirely congenial, but then studio guests appear and prevent its continuance. Maybe another time we'll get to Eddie and Marilyn. Herman shows off his new chair-- built by Westinghouse --with a demonstration, too. Also on tap: Puzzling Evidence and the beauteous Sarah Goldie (nee Szczechowicz), who discuss and dish dirt on various local personalities of note. Yeah, the Addams Family were arguably cooler. But what could possibly be more, well, "American," than being monsters and NOT KNOWING it? Just ask our friends from other countries. With Fred Gwynne, Yvonne DeCarlo, Al Lewis. 3 hours.

FLIGHT TO MARS... OR NOT
September 17, 2016 1:00am

 

And so it turned out that after it was all over we attempted another narrated movie, courtesy of Puzzling Evidence. M. Peppe had trouble getting with the program: FLIGHT TO MARS (1951) with Cameron Mitchell. A curiosity for hard-core followers only, we warn. Once you get there, it's awfully like here. Is this trip really necessary/

CLARK ASHTON SMITH & FRIENDS
September 16, 2016 10:00pm

 

Not while the woods are redolent of Spring
Or scentless immortelles of Autumn blow
Shall I evade your loveliness, or know
Surcease of Love,and Love's remembering.
But, haply, wandering, worlds and cycles hence,
Through unforeseen, fantastic avatars,
I shall forget you in the future stars
And take of Time an alien recompense,
'Till, in some strange and latter planet made
Of molten shards and meteor dust of this,
My hand shall pluck an unsuspected bloom
That lifts again the scarlet of your kiss,
And I shall muse, and linger, knowing not
The love that perished, like a lost perfume.
--C.A.S.

UNLOCKING THE KEY LOCKBOX
September 9, 2016 10:00pm

 

There is Order, and there is Chaos-- in our Relativistic Universe, largely a function of entity, speed and location. There are the Poems of Clark Ashton Smith. And there are Studio Guests, More Fun Than A Barrel Of Monkeys. In other words, some fun to speak of. You have to open the barrel, of course, or there is no fun, none at all. And don't get me started on whether that ??!!@#$&?! cat in the box is dead or alive. We go on, afterwards, in our desultory way-- not necessarily recommended -- with our Late-Nite Feature, FLIGHT TO MARS with Cameron Mitchell (1951). Also with M. Peppe lurching, muttering and bumping the microphone. All in all, the Formula for Freedom.

IN THE DEADLY DESERT
September 2, 2016 10:00pm

 

I was at Burning Man! Yes-- you heard me--Burning Man! How would you like it if someone threw a shovelful of sand in your face every 40 seconds? Oh, you'd like that, would you? You would? How about riding your bicycle through the dark and blinky-light chaos, in a dust storm, at night, to the other side of the Dial, dodging unlit cyclists and pedestrians ("Darkwads," they call those Out There), with the street signs stolen as souvenirs by over-privileged hipsters, in 35-40 mph winds, peaking on Acid? Is that your idea of fun? Meanwhile, here's this.

ON THE WAY TO NEVADA
August 26, 2016 10:00pm

 

...in an unsafe rattletrap RV, the lights failing, turn signals not working on the trailer. We lost some stuff off that. Well, there's a hotel room in Boomtown-- for the 1%. Must not give in to Existential Panic. At home: Puzzling Evidence and the ADH Krewe to the Reskewe.

OVERLAPPING THE MYSTERY ZONE
August 20, 2016 1:00am

 

These are the two hours after Ask Dr. Hal! officially ended on Friday night. But in fact, it kept chugging along, as it often does. So here are those audio files, served up for those who may be fans of poetry, pedantry and Entomology, although the species of Weevil discussed was mis-identified, as it later turned out. As Darwin remarked, God had an inordinate fondness for beetles, which is why He made so many of them.

SAGE OF THE DIVINERS
August 19, 2016 10:00pm

 

This episode of Ask Dr. Hal! also featured Jett, Michael Peppe, and (mostly unheard) KrOB and Puzzling Evidence. During the presentation, in which a bubbling pipe played a significant part, we experienced...
...uncontrollable laughter,
...past memories-- revisiting places from childhood recollection,
...various sensations of motion, including the feeling of being pulled and twisted by external forces,
...variegated visions of membranes, films, a plethora of two-dimensional surfaces, and fractal patterns,
...instances of merging with objects, for a time actually becoming them, and
overlapping realities, including the perception of being in several locations at once. Now, this is all legal, though you wouldn't think so. Three hours go by... Don't forget, the LIVE Ask Dr. Hal! Show will go on the boards in San Francisco weekly during the month of October, starting Friday, October 7th and continuing every Friday night through the month. "Sometimes, a thousand twangling Instruments about mine Ears, and sometimes Voices."



More Discussion, More Adumbration
August 13, 2016 1:00am

 

The Ecstatic colloquium, begun on the night of Friday the 12th of August, did not end at 1:00 AM on Saturday as expected. No, propelled by a dynamo of psychic energy, the palaver continued, solving the world's problems until 4:30 AM. And even then, KrOB Sabrepop provided an extra half-hour. Dr. H. Owll, Michael J. Peppe and Jett bestrode the intellectual landscape with seven-league steps. Puzzling Evidence was present, but silent. With Pete Goldie.

Many Dimensions, Metaphysical Atoms
August 12, 2016 10:00pm

 

The Golden Atom, the perfect exemplar of the irreducible structure, the ideal form of manifested energy, the glowing Centurion of Being, Guardian of Existence. In its corona, during a strange, extended session were Jett, Michael Peppe and Dr. H. Owll. Pete Goldie dropped by the vortex to hand out homilies and corrections. Before that, "The Jumblies" by Edward Lear. After that, four more hours of extended Show violate the norms of a timeless realm. See above.

CLARK, JOHN AND MICHAEL
August 5, 2016 10:00pm

 

Poems this episode: first heard, "The Castle of Dreams," by Clark Ashton Smith (1893-1961). Later we essay the Hymn (an excerpt) from "On the Morning of Christ's Nativity" by John Milton (1608-1674), a real rip-snorter. Hey, it's our show and we can do what we want. You know, when Dr. H. Owll does those recitations from memory, often enough he makes goofy mistakes in the delivery, whether faltering recollection or tongue-twisting be the destructive and frustrating agent here. And in the Milton poem, he manages to do the entire lengthy thing EXCEPT for the verse about Moloch, which he gets all wrong. One of the coolest verses in the piece, too. But, you just keep going, try to save the recitation and keep in mind that very few know enough to call you out on the errors. Then we were visited, on this our third post-X-Day show, by the renowned writer and Performance Artist Michael Peppe (1906-2056), inventor of Behaviormusik. So we chew the fat with Peppe awhile, until we come to our usual dropping-off place, 1:00 AM on Saturday morning. This time, though, we go on, for late-night die-hards, with another Bleary-Eyed Theatre presentation, the narrated movie VOYAGE TO THE PLANET OF PREHISTORIC WOMEN (1968). Brave cosmonauts and their impressive Giant Robot companion reach the Morning Star (also called the Evening Star) after a lengthy and complex Sunward voyage. Descending through the layers of atmosphere that veil the Venereal planet from Earthly observers with its brilliant reflective albedo, they discover not a searing, black calm punctuated by intense, lethal heat and pyroclastic acid flows, but a cloudy landscape of mist and vegetation, which they explore in their cool Space Runabout. Apparently water is not just found in the upper atmosphere as vapor but actually flows freely on the surface. And, there are controversies with attacking Lizard men and man-eating plants. But... just over the next rise, if they only knew, lolling beside an unexpected ocean, beautiful nymphs in seashell bras recline languidly on the rocks. One of them is even Mamie Van Doren (1931-2034)-- and, man, can she fill out that revealing seashell-and-kelp strand ensemble, or whatever it is. Easy on the eyes, yes, sir! Eh, Gentlemen? But-- here's the tragedy of the thing. After coming all the way to Venus, our sober scientific types never do cross that ridge and meet the girls! They do, however (spoiler alert!) kill their giant Pterodactyl God. And it makes the Venusian devotchkas very, very mad. How they pout! In (faded) color. Narrated by Peter Bogdanovich, who also plays Derek Thomas. Yeah!

ROBOT GIRLS I HAVE KNOWN
July 29, 2016 10:00pm

 

Feminine servo-mechanisms incorporate backup systems and feedback loops in so-called Fembots. The Robotic Principles of Asimov (the Three Laws) are operative, though in this series the Third Law defers to the others more readily. Self-maintaining androids, they provide insights informing many additional platforms, including this (solitary) episode of ASK DR. HAL! Remember to watch for the coming all-LIVE A.D.H. Show at Chez Poulet this October, a venue (mostly) for Humans.

X-DAY... AND "AFTER..."
July 22, 2016 10:00pm

 

Dr. H. Owll finally returned from the event called "X-Day." Still moving forward, he reassembled his afflicted powers. Yes, the Saucer hovered, but didn't land. Yes, the Chatelaine of Vulture Island was there... His heartfelt hopes he still keeps close, and in secret. Meanwhile, the Church survives, mutates and adapts. This is the inevitable result. Authentic Pre-X recordings vie here with the poems of Clark Ashton Smith. Then, wandering Michael Peppe comes to our door. And, though we officially "end" at 1:00 AM, there's an hour added, an extra bowlful brimming over for the famished. Let's hope it's indeed download-able, since viruses played Hob with Dr. H. Owll's archives while he was ministering to Subs in distant Ohio. Our verdict? Well, we think this can be fixed-- AS LONG as Radio Valencia is willing. Watch this space.

Pat Novak, Hooterville, Parallel Worlds and Anti-Matter Events
June 14, 2016 5:00pm

 

A Portmanteau Show, for those in the know. Brewed up with love, as Above, so Below. Pat Novak was first, all the rest, unrehearsed. Michael Peppe and Jett made the Show a sure bet. We talked of the stars, and of Vacuums in jars. Comic books and TV, with these too we made free. It approaches true bliss when we have shows like this. And we answered two Questions. Are there more suggestions?

A RARE VINTAGE FROM THE PUZZ EV CELLARS
June 10, 2016 10:00pm

 

1987. What a year; what a year. Yes... Remember the Jim Bakker Scandal? Or when Prozac made its debut in the U.S.? The British Government stopped the publication, in Britain, of the book SPYCATCHER. The prophetic movie ROBOCOP came out. And, THE SIMPSONS first appeared on your TV. Yes, a lot was going on, back then. Now, thanks to Puzzling Evidence Studios, this particular Episode of the ASK DR. HAL! Show features some rare, archival recordings from that very year, in a spanking brand-new mix. HEAR Dr. Hal! Puzzling Evidence! Even Michael Peppe! Oh, we've all been around as long as the Beard of Moses, it turns out. HEAR our younger selves Jell in a Verbal Jam which, as the record Preserves, Jars and Jars as it reveals in retrospect that we've learned nothing, nothing, nothing at all since then. What Smuckers! Ah, that is, we meant to say, Suckers. But that might work. Kind of a hybrid of Schmucks and Suckers. Eh? Well, ENJOY this wallow in outre Nostalgia. TASTE it slowly, and WHIFF its impudent bouquet...



MORE FROM '87
June 10, 2016 1:00am

 

Puzzo wasn't through by the traditional 1:00 AM. No, he wasn't! Here's more of the mix, suds-ing and foaming... 120 exquisite extra extraordinary minutes of marvels and malarkey.

THOSE GOSH-DURNED FUNNYBOOKS
June 3, 2016 10:00pm

 

Another jagged start from RV "gremlins" leaving the Big Board all tapsalteerie... Y'know, when the Lynch Mob was after Dr. Hal last year, he was informed that, "if there is ANYTHING about the way the Board is left after your show that makes it hard for the next show to start, ANYTHING at all, then YOU LOSE YOUR SHOW!" [Paraphrasing here] --to which was added as a coda, "NO EXCEPTIONS!" Wa-al, I guess them Are-Vee boys n' gals done kind o' fergot themselves 'bout all that kind o' clabber. Funny, ain't it? NONETHELESS, heroic Dr. Hal swiftly untangled the Briaraeus-like Mess with elan and verve-- and got the Show rolling, first with the obscure but sublime poetry of Clark Ashton Smith, and then... Well, about then, right down the Runway for a textbook three-pointer of a landing swooped in-studio guest Jett. A rotating air compressor powered by a turbine, with the leftover power providing thrust via a propelling nozzle — the Brayton Thermodynamic Cycle-- it was all more than ordinarily evident. Yes, our Jett sports a complex high-bypass turbofan engine, offering higher velocity and greater fuel efficiency than any old piston-and-propeller aero-engine. That fuel mixture he uses is volatile, too, and includes ultra-fiery Absinthe of an insanely high proof. As we sipped it among clouds of visionary smoke-- what a Fetid Fervor of Freedom! --the sparkling conversation ranged dynamically over multiple topics. Among these-- COMIC BOOKS. The great American Literary Form. Different artists, different styles... Long-distance Show Friend Michael G. Pevey appeared by telephonic proxy all the way from San Angelo, Texas. Not Michael Peppe-- Pevey. Peppe never came in, and in point of fact, this time, for once, we didn't really need him...

UP FROM THE DEPTHS
May 27, 2016 10:00pm

 

During the Triassic Period, roughly 252.17 to 201.3 million years ago, an interval of 51.04 million years, did giant, super-intelligent cephalopods, perhaps a form of Ammonite large enough to rip giant icthyosaurs apart, make "art" (the world's first) with their vertebral discs, arranging them in rows like tentacle suckers on the ancient sea floor? Did they? Hmmm? Well, that's just one of the unusual topics covered on this week's episode. The world wants to know. So the Listeners say, anyhow. In-studio guests Jett and Michael Peppe returned to add further conversational shadings to all matters discussed. KrOB was there too, likewise Puzzling Evidence. And, curiously enough, Presidential candidate Dr. Pete Goldie was heard shouting incoherently in the ante room, but never actually entered the broadcast booth to promulgate his, er, rather extreme views. Well, it's all here in the download-able podcast, Etherettes and Rocket Rookies. We soldier on through technical minefields and station incompetence. And we hope for a Brighter Tomorrow. A thousand thanks and a tip of the old Ask Dr. Hal! Fez to loyal listener Michael Pevey of San Angelo, Texas, whose generous contribution arrived without even a question to answer within the envelope.

MONSTERS WALK ABROAD
May 20, 2016 10:00pm

 

There was no show at all last time, on Friday the 13th of May, O Best Beloved. There was no show because there was no "radio," no podcast-- a double-damned "computer glitch" shattered all our plans and dreams. They came and tore the hard drive out of poor old Sam, the studio computer, and when we got there the pathetic thing lay asprawl, denuded of its guts. And, as it happened, all the ya-hobs and Nimrods were off yukking it up at a by-Our-Lady "chili cook-off" without a thought, a single thought, of offering warning or assistance. Why, I oughta... But this time it happened, yes! we had a show, with studio guest Dr. Penny, later joined by studio guest Rusty Rebar. Those two had a variety of things to say, and-- the political opinions expressed by guests on the show are not to be construed as views endorsed by the titular head thereof, or of any other quondam contributors not present. But, all in all, we did have a good chin-wag about alternative subjects as well. Poetry and pedantry were served. No Absinthe this time, which tends to make the heart grow fonder. Please continue to send in your questions, together with an emolument, and we will endeavor to provide worthy answers, depending on the premium.

THE GREEN FAIRY
May 6, 2016 10:00pm

 

IN THIS EPISODE we touch on divers matters, with a conversation among special guests. Jett made an appearance first-- he brought two kinds of Absinthe, among other refreshments. We sipped it, looking into its luminous green depths as we spoke of mysteries of Creation. KrOB came in and directed the ongoing soundscape with his unique skill. He was glad to join us and raise a glass of the glowing, greenish potation, and then easily prevailed upon to enjoy yet another. Suddenly the ravishingly beautiful Sarah Goldie appeared, fresh from a night at the theater, wearing a dazzling low-cut ensemble... as she took her place at the microphone it was only right to salute her with another glass of the emerald liquid. Not long after, Pete Goldie appeared. He had wine but we had an other. Other glass of Absinthe, tha' is. And another one to keep ou' the chill. Jett ol'man, this's prime stuff, prime stuff. What're you doing over there? You look as if y'were a mile away. What inschpiring conversatiumons. This's an Innelecshual Salon, in cashe you didn' know-- exshuse me, thish deserves 'nother glasxh. That Sarah's so, so boo-ful. Where'd Pete and Sarah go? You've got to pashe, to pace yoursel' so's not to make a s-schpectacle'f y'selfph. I know my limits, unnerstand? --an' I'll have jus' one more lit-tle drinky of the old Absinthy. Woops! That was th' microphone, we'll pick it up later. Later. Wash out for thish equipment. Later for that. Itsh very late. Let's have s'more of that, that Absiinsh... Normalize the board. We run a tight ship at thish show.

CENTIPEDES, SPIDERS AND SCORPIONS
April 29, 2016 10:00pm

 

GUESTS include Dr. Fiasco, who brings along his Patented Soundscape, skymaster Jett, who provides fact-checking during peripatetic entomological discussions and Pete Goldie, distributor of wine --and some bile. Hovering just off-mike, equally meanwhile, were Puzzling Evidence and mighty KrOB, who seized the reins after 1:00 AM. Exotic edulia were consumed, strange vintages poured. And moved by what unknown impulse, our thoughts strayed among certain clades of invertebrates. Dr. Fiasco exhibited uneasiness as we called up multi-legged horrors. But of course, there was more-- much more! So tired... we'll just lie down in this web-like hammock...

STOP EYE-BITING!
April 22, 2016 10:00pm

 

And, while you're at it, all you Imps, STOP attacking our Shows with Power Out(r)ages. Yes, at 11:25 PM, They struck again, knocking Us off "the air." Not only did our Podcast crash to an unseemly stop, but also all the lights in the good ol' El Dorado Building went out, along with the lights across the way in Bruno's (a wail of dismay arose from the street) and even the street lights on Mission. Overkill, you guys, overkill. Every time we start reaching the edges of Profound Cosmic Secrets, the Directorate of Hell stops us cold. Haven't you bureaucrats in the Infernal Regions anything better to do? This time, advanced Radio Valencia computational devices expertly repaired the damage on their own. Around 10 minutes later, just as the repair 'bots were scuttling and rolling out the door, we came creakily back to life. "We" in this case being Irritating Horror Host Dr. Howland Owll, St. Michael Peppe and peripatetic Puzzling Evidence. Peppered by pesky Pete Goldie calls, the rest of the sad Show limped home after concluding in the usual way, at the usual time. Note the prophetic Warnings at the very beginning. As ever, Prophecy is never believed until fulfillment. We Still Live!

I SO PODCAST
April 15, 2016 10:00pm

 

Shoulda beena paira ragged claws, scuttling across the floora silent seas. But couldn't arrange that, so preserved the social niceties. Clark Ashton Smith's poem, "Desert Dweller" helped us launch. But then we didn't Tread the Shadows of Zothique after all; first Pete Goldie came in for a govoreet-- later, visiting peripatetic Puzzling Evidence was all of that, in his chat. KrOB was on the job, but we didn't hear much from him, by "Bob!" The ending is abrupt and underwhelming. Nothing broke, fuzzed off, dropped out or failed, but the sign-off this time wasn't until a half hour AFTER the podcast's ending, so just this once, you will have to imagine hearing the National Anthem.

JETT BREAKS THE SOUND BARRIER
April 8, 2016 10:00pm

 

In-studio guest Jett taxied in for a perfect three-point landing, and stayed to fuel up. Slightly later, KrOB was also present and accounted for. Using an intricately designed engine combining compression with ignition, which generated thrust for swift forward movement, Jett whizzed at a much higher speed than the standard old, droning piston-engined planes, zooming dizzily from topic to topic.
Quite a lot of ground got covered, though perhaps landforms overly familiar to some. Well, by the end, perhaps a lot of jet fuel had been consumed after all-- but it was worth it ("We don't need no bad drugs!"). With Whitman McGowan, Speedy Alka-Seltzer and the Polaroid Swinger.


PODCAST OF THE PRIMORDIUM
April 1, 2016 10:00pm

 

Partially turned out from the early Triassic, 251-245 million years ago (rounded off), also known to some as the Scythian Epoch. Because this stage of Earth's history did not last very long, in geological terms, we are only considering it in terms of its two main subdivisions, the Induan and the Olenekian. The show drifts between these. It was a period of great change on the show, as whole new lineages and clades of animals radiated into the empty niches vacated of their original occupiers by the mass extinction which had pervasively eliminated the ecological framework of the departed Permian fauna, and the evolutionary battle for the supremacy of the land was waged. The hot dry Pangaean deserts of the Triassic would witness the competition between the Synapsid proto-mammals (Therapsida) that had dominated the land in earlier cycles and the newly-emerged Archosaurian reptiles (Thecodonts, as we used to call them). And, in the arid climes of the early Mesozoic, the reptiles had an obvious metabolic advantage, despite the superior mechanics of locomotion and guardian care-of-young behavior possessed by these ancient mammals. Bulky beasts bellowed in competition, while Radio commercials of yore emerged from oozy swamps of oblivion. Three age-long hours.

THE CABINET OF DR. FIASCO
March 25, 2016 10:00pm

 

Dr. Fiasco's specially created soundscape underlies most of this episode. Punctuated by wheedling bleats, begging for donations from the Listeners again (for Station Dues time looms), Poetick Recitation and the usual tropes, we also debuted the Brazilian Astronaut's newly engineered additions to Dr. Hal's recorded canon of Italo Calvino's INVISIBLE CITIES. Jett taxied in after a three-point landing, KrOB and Puzzling Evidence hovered discreetly in the anteroom, and St. Michael Peppe came in to add to the dialogue. We ranged afar, from the Triassic and Jurassic to the Classic and Periphrastic, natch. We thank in advance whoever throws in on the bailout, while we look hopefully forward to more such harmony to come.

TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES SURMOUNTED
March 18, 2016 10:00pm

 

And a welcome donation from our good friend "Vineet," a Question answered. Power drops, static, distortion-- but K. Carpenter to the rescue. The Brazilian Astronaut also made a rare appearance; we owe him a Bazillion thanks for his additional trouble-shooting. Nice shooting, son. All will come out, in the Laundry, in the Fullness of Time. Noisy studio parties need to be held in the adjacent chamber for best low blood pressure results.

BY DIRIGIBLE TO THE LOST ISLAND OF KOMAR
March 11, 2016 10:00pm

 

This week Dr. H. Owll entertains a quondam guest, Nose Hair Lint Gland's head honcho Karen Carpenter (the alias of a well-known secret super-scientist). Various callers & contributors receive on-air thanks, & Whittier's reflective poem "Maud Muller" is an early feature, a response to a listener request. Eventually, the arrival of Puzzling Evidence precipitates a narrated showing of the 1934 Clyde Beatty feature THE LOST JUNGLE. In the film, circus impresario & animal trainer Clyde Beatty (not related either to Ned or Warren) heads a rescue party in search of his pneumatic peroxide blonde girlfriend, Ruth, & her hapless father, who get lost-- way lost --looking for an uncharted island, site of the fabled Lost City of Komar. Shipwrecked, she & doddering old Dad deal with ferocious lions and tigers, both, improbably, co-inhabitants of the island, not to mention rebellious, surly sailors. Beatty heads after them for Africa in his dirigible, but, wouldn't you know, it crashes right into the jungles of the island instead. When wandering, jodhpur-clad Clyde locates Ruth, he learns that her father has disappeared. The ensuing search is hindered by greedy gold hunters & wild animal mayhem... Meanwhile, the sinister Sharkey, Sadistic animal handler for the Maitland Circus Giganticus (who alternately resembles Richard Nixon & Bob Hope), is revealed to be jealous of the success of stuck-on-himself star animal tamer curly-haired Clyde Beatty - murderously so, as he has once surreptitiously permitted a hungry lion to be prematurely freed in a cage with Clyde, who at that time escaped being mauled by the width of a nanodiameter. Clyde and his buddy, loathsomely repulsive "comical" sidekick circus PR Man Larry Henderson, of the Adam's apple-prompted bobbing bow tie & other quite unforgivable tropes, having taken the maiden flight of an ill-fated dirigible, destination India, to collect tigers, & Africa, to collect lions, to bring both back & make their lives miserable in circus show biz with cracking whips, discharging revolvers & brandished chairs before the peepers of assorted peanut-chewing rubes & wide-eyed urchins-- these guys, unwise, take slippery Sharkey along for the ride. Spoiler: eventually, before the end, he's lion chow. An unholy din on the soundtrack of roaring, infuriated lions, tigers, cheetahs, bears, bleating camels & stampeding zebras permeates the movie. Dr. H. Owll narrates the proceedings. You know, Dr. H. Owll once went to Clyde's circus as a boy. It was memorable. This was after he (Clyde) went to Komar, & also after he discovered a lost race of winged Bat Men in Africa... Then we watch another picture, Doris Wishman's BAD GIRLS GO TO HELL. In this, men, a sordid bunch of leering rapists, are no damn good. So the show covers all the bases. Perhaps this-- this! is the show for you.

PARSING THE ETYMOLOGY OF NINCOMPOOP
March 4, 2016 10:00pm

 

When Oppressions bore Us Down to Earth, heroick Listener & Fellow-Traveler Monsieur Mob MeAttie sended Slack in Simoleon Form; in return He did request of Us that we Address the Origins of the word "Nincompoop." And for a Bit in a largely content-free Show, We did just That. We admire Dr. Johnson's Assertion, in his deserv'dly famous Dictionary, that the Epithet deriveth, in a Sort of Macaronic Latin, from the Original Phrase in that Language, "NoN COMPOs mentis," used in the Law to Express the Condition of being Out of One's Mind. This despite the Fact that any Evidence for the "Poop" part seemeth here lacking to Our own Apprehension. Then, too, Some point to the Old French Word, Nicodeme, or Nicodemus, in the Holy Bible the Pharisee of that Name who Questioned Our Lord so Naively in the Gospel of St John. Thus, videlicet, a Simpleton. Throughout the Centuries, the Pejorative & Opprobrious Association hath compounded, given the Natural Vituperation of fallen Human Nature; cognate Expressions include Idiot, Moron, Goofus, Stupid Fool, Bozo, Jackass, Pin-head, Jack-a-napes, Retard, Dumb-Ass, Jazzbo, Imbecile, Block-head, Ignoramus, Butt-face, Air-head, Dunce, Ninny, Jerk, Cretin, Nit-wit, Dim-wit, Loser, Dork & especially Dolt. In the early Eighteenth Century, the Word existed side-by-side with its Variant, Nickumpoop. The Late John Ciardi, whom We think the best English Translator of Dante's DIVINE COMEDY, said that the Dutch Vernacular Phrase, "Nicht om Poep," meaning "the Female Relative of a Fool," was the Source. Other Authorities classify the Word Origins as simply Unknown. A Vast Crowd then entered; We found it Arduous to Host them, since They felt Little Interest in Joining Us on our Podcast. 'Twas little Else than an Affront, though cloak'd in Conviviality. Nonetheless, They Cavorted & Frolick'd unto the End of the Proceedings, when, & just Prior to Closing of the Session, Monsieur Michael Peppe at last join'd Us for a Brief but Civil Converse.

THE LAST DISPATCH FROM X-DAY; THE LATEST CODA FROM-- MICHAEL PEPPE
February 26, 2016 10:00pm

 

AND SO it came to pass that the menace of the Cosmic Imbalance was, as ever, at the last nanosecond, averted yet again. Yes! Listener Donations saved the Show from the wickedly sharp scythes of the blood-minded Bean Counters. Goings-on in Eden, in the first mornings of the world, occupied us at first. Then (from SubGenius Headquarters, a special Archival Recording had arrived), new Audio was debuted-- we played it-- right up until the moment Michael Peppe strode into the Studio. And we spoke thereafter of many things in Heaven and Earth. KrOB and Puzzling Evidence hovered, yet each never took up a place behind a microphone. But Peppe fountained forth, and soon the onrushing End overtook us all. No Monster Movie this time, but soon-- soon! we'll travel to unexplored darkest Africa, by dirigible, with Clyde Beatty, to tangle with Bat Men and the like...

EMBRACING MICHAEL PEPPE
February 19, 2016 10:00pm

 

We start at "IndyVival," with Dr. H. Owll's famed Speech to the Indianapolis, Indiana SubGeniuses some irreplaceable years ago, back in the day (actually, at night). From the Sacred and Sacrosanct SubGenius Archives. Many are the sown pearls of wisdom cast down before seeking, searching and rooting Suidae, delectable candy Easter Eggs for the taking laid gently within the clean, tall grass of this, our Podcast. If not then disgruntled, they then find Michael J. Peppe's arrival equally toothsome and savory. And so it goeth unto the End of the Show (ca. 2:31 AM)--the relentless fountain ever burbles forth. Many are the Voluminous Pains which have been taken to learn the Fate of the Soul upon Disunion, but men have wax'd most Phantastical in the singular Contrivances of their Corporeal Dissolution. Hear and be warned. Which is it-- the Soul sproing-ing off the end of its elastic tether, or the Body beginning its crumble?

XOCHIPILLI'S FRIENDS & VOTARIES
February 12, 2016 10:00pm

 

One of our best shows, but... with 48 minutes remaining, we found ourselves suddenly without power in the studio. Something happened-- who knows what? We're always at the mercy of infernal devices opaque to understanding. Perhaps a guest moved his foot and altered the spaghetti tangle of wires and hookups under the desk. Puzzling Evidence worked tirelessly to restore power, but in vain. Dr. H. Owll then re-booted the computer-- out the window. No, seriously, he did try a re-boot-- and yes, the whole shebang did come back online-- what do you know? --but too late to do us any good. Still, up until that point when all audio ceased, one of our most interesting and informative shows, moving from Victor Frankenstein's Undying Monster, with Count Dracula also getting his oar in, on to ordinarily little-heard subject matter, including aspects of Mesoamerican history and ethnobotany. Not to mention the Sacred Toad, Lord Bufo alvarius... Guests were our friend Jett, visiting filmmaker Oliver Quitanilla, who discussed his new movie LITTLE SAINTS: EAT A MUSHROOM, TALK TO GOD, and, providentially, the well-informed artist David Normal. What a symposium on secret magic and cryptic botany! And going great guns, too, until the idiot machines abruptly rung down the curtain. Well, enjoy it for two hours and twelve minutes, anyway.

THE ROBINS BROTHERS-- & OTHERS...
February 5, 2016 10:00pm

 

IN this week's 3 hours, the most distinctive feature is archival audio of Dr. Hal and his late brother, Jeff Robins (obit. 2002) improvising in the manner which distinguishes all such performances. Listening, one also hears Papa Joe Mama (a.k.a.Kurt von Buse Kuersteiner, Obergruppenfuhrer of the Nordland Reich SubGenius Clench) and other voices of yesteryear. Poems of Dylan Thomas. Very Special Effects. This type of talk programming organically formed out of the interplay between the two brothers. Thanks to Puzzling Evidence, we were able to present it in original and unalloyed form. Jeff will always be missed.

FIVE MORE HOURS
January 30, 2016 1:00am

 

Dr. Hal limped home, but the stayers-on didn't leave until the first fingers of dawn massaged the throbbing sky. And this-- this! is what they left behind.

NOT ONE WORD ABOUT D____D T___P
January 29, 2016 10:00pm

 

Three hours of Show, and "America's Mussolini," the proto-Fascist toxic tycoon never once referenced. Unique among shows, broadcasts and podcasts. Instead... well, with special studio guest Jett we talked of many things. Old syndicated newspaper comic strip features, for example. And why not? Then two peripatetic beauties, Edie and Sarah, appeared. They came in and slipped into something comfortable. Good old Reloadio Valencia! Then, Puzzling Evidence and KrOB finally appeared, and...

TWO MORE ADDED HOURS
January 23, 2016 2:00am

 

It goes... it goes... goes on. Caveat emptor. But there are those who are never satisfied with moderate length.

TURBA PHILOSOPHO-FORUM
January 23, 2016 1:00am

 

A large group of guests are featured; among these are Kiko, Jett, MIchael Peppe, Puzzling Evidence, Spy, Sarah and Editn. Or is that next week? We think, probably both weeks. A heavy downpour outside. Four hours of audio metamorphosis. A larger slice than usual. A production of circumstance. Description thereof previously posted, then removed, by person or persons unknown. This is the succedaneum. Kindly mess not avec the posts. Now, the show Dr. Hal planned with Spy could not come about. We like visitors, even, at times, drop-ins, but we had an unmanageable crowd interrupting us, bumping the microphones and complaining about the hook-up. The fans hated it (we heard later). So... let Dr. Hal know if you plan to show-- you can always go, but he has to know.

THE RIGHT TO KEEP AND BEAR ARMS
January 15, 2016 10:00pm

 

SubGenius show mixes from the Gestalt of a generation of radio performers support this episode. And, we hear "The Convergence of the Twain" by Thomas Hardy, somewhat garbled, but these are the breaks. Like, it's HARD to try to run the Board AND recite the blankety-blank poetry at the same time, dig? We mean, YOU try it. A lovely surprise visitor dropped by in the rain, briefly, not on microphone... But eventually, you will hear that Michael Peppe does come in (ferried by silent, non-participating Puzzling Evidence) to carry us through to... the end, and beyond! But-- you won't hear the sign-off; we ran far, far later than we should have... hosting Peppe is like that, and can be distracting... "Only" 3 hours of this stuff seem to have been preserved. See, Night Owls? There's actually some value in STAYING UP to listen as we do the Show. Who needs sleep? When we left the Studio, Puzzling and Peppe were still going strong. We have the technology. They had the stamina. BUT-- there's an actual physical limit to how much flesh and bone can take in the way of these Marathon sessions, you know? We're not getting any younger. Quite the opposite, in fact. And so, to conclude, we took aim, squeeeezed the trigger... and fired, at Shibboleths and Bugaboos-- direct hit! As Davy Crockett said, "Be sure you're right-- then go ahead!"

A MOVIE AND A (RELOADIO) SHOW
January 8, 2016 10:00pm

 

Another in-studio medicinal visit from Nurse Annabella capped an evening where two radio hosts-- the real thing, in her case --performed ASK DR. HAL! right after just viewing the new Star Wars movie. Approximately 30 (terrestrial?) years after the destruction of the second Death Star, nobody seems to know the current whereabouts of former farm-boy Luke Skywalker, the last remaining Jedi hold-out. The First Order, a crypto-Fascist group reminiscent of the Republican Party, seeks to turn him up again as they eliminate all Progressives in the Galaxy, right around the time Resistance pilot Poe Dameron meets village elder Lor San Tekka on the planet Jakku off to obtain a gas station map to Luke's location. Stormtroopers under Kylo Ren land and destroy the village of Gerlach in order to save it. But terminally cute 'bot BB-8 escapes the "Burn" with the map, and encounters a scavenger, Fay Rey, dumpster diving at a junkyard settlement. At the First Order's Starkiller Base, on a planet-sized superweapon, the old Death Star writ large, Supreme Leader Snoke orders General Hux to use it for the first time, and destroy something, already. As Starkiller Base prepares to fire on D'Qar, the Resistance devises a plan to destroy it by attacking a convenient critical weakness. Apparently they always design these things so that if a rag-tag bunch of barnstormers gets through and destroys one special little component, the whole thing just explodes, with a tremendous noise. With Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher and mind-breaking special effects. But, you know, we also spoke of other things on OUR show, especially after deliberately ingesting a "funny" cookie.

2016 A.D.-- THE SHAPE OF THINGS TO COME
January 1, 2016 10:00pm

 

We look forward to the Future, and the one thing we unquestionably know there will be more of in the Future is... the Past. Time-tripping is featured in this episode, and the "action" persisted after the 180th minute. For our purposes, we will submit three Terrestrial hours, incorporating a much asked-for PAT NOVAK radioplay chapter and the poetry of Dylan Thomas and Clark Ashton Smith. The temporal vortex shifts us to the late Jurassic Period in a forested swamp. There are controversies between various indigenous Dinosauria. Eventually Michael Peppe, courtesy of Puzzling Evidence, appears, and is induced to wax philosophical. His preoccupation is with Creation. He defends his inspiration with much animation. And, a timely donation pays our dues to the station.

ON THE MORNING OF CHRIST'S NATIVITY, WITH THE JOURNEY OF THE MAGI
December 25, 2015 10:00pm

 

Hey, kids! OK, all you Rocket Rookies and Etherettes-- get set for a late-hour Christmas Ask Dr. Hal! Show Special. That is, we feature two long-ish poems, one being T.S. Eliot's THE JOURNEY OF THE MAGI and later on John Milton's Hymn: ON THE MORNING OF CHRIST'S NATIVITY, which discriminating fans of the soi-dissant Occult may enjoy. All this in between X-Day iterations sent straight from SubGenius headquarters-- thanks, Stang! (the second of these laced with not-suitable-for-airtime profanities, oaths and expostulations), other ADH addenda and a partial selection of quite unlikely Christmas music, whose veritable "Christmas" essence requires some intense concentration to apprehend. The Officer of the Day, Puzzling Evidence was on board. There was no Christmas live show this night, to speak of that, and there will be no live shows in January on Fridays in the latter P.M. But, this you knew, did you not?

THE ALCHEMIST'S COMPLAINT
December 18, 2015 10:00pm

 

Creating the Great Work, one process at a time, we distill a Show Homunculus which works for some, if not all. And the visitors come in; Lord, how they come in. This includes the beauteous Sarah Szczechowicz Goldie and Miss Katy Bell. The latter, though she never really seemed to cotton to the fact that there was an attempt to do an audio performance going on, did speak into the microphone once or twice and, as a bonus, may be heard muttering in the b.g. at other times. Michael Peppe provided the philosophico-scientific underpinnings of this episode for the most part, right up until the official end. But was it the end? After an interval of the music of Raymond Scott, we left the Studio with the indefatigable KrOB in charge. NOTE TO FANS: For reasons best known to himself, Chicken John Rinaldi has cancelled all the live shows we were going to do in the next month.

Ask Dr Hal OFFICE PARTAY!
December 12, 2015 1:00am

 

The over-spill, for ADH completists (you know who you are). NOW with more strippers! Too bad it's audio, because the visuals are, in a word, incendiary...


Chatroom History
December 12, 2015 1:00am - 4:30am

St. Inkfinger: still going?...wow. (2:20am)
vj pussycat: bonus (2:24am)
vj pussycat: are y'all watching a movie? (2:24am)
St. Inkfinger: woot woot! ...and I thought I had missed it, because I nodded off. (2:25am)
vj pussycat: Poseidon adventure (2:37am)
St. Inkfinger: which one? (2:43am)
St. Inkfinger: Lyme sucks (2:56am)
St. Inkfinger: had it.....never froze (2:56am)
mrs: And never will... (3:01am)
St. Inkfinger: Good morning (3:02am)
The Doctors: Please step lively towards the Show. (3:02am)
St. Inkfinger: I am so shown (3:04am)

LET US GO, THEN, YOU AND I...
December 11, 2015 10:00pm

 

A tumultuous night on Ask Dr. Hal! with studio visitors of note and conversational value par excellence. TEST your Show Endurance with the following extra-bloated Holiday Podcast... Nota Bene: This show starts just about a quarter of an hour late, and apologies to the Faithful are due-- Dr. Howll had to re-boot the entire Station when he came in out of the cold-- then it runs to (gulp!) 2:35 AM Saturday matin. The Darkling Thrush, by Thomas Hardy - X-Day 2014 echoes - Hurricane Carla: I'll Be Glad When You're Dead, You Rascal You - Enter the Goldies - Enter KrOB - Enter Miss E. Harbaugh - Japanese Pornography - A Money Order for $37.09 from kindly, curious listener, 709Austin - Ignorance vs. Enlightenment - Mutiny aboard the Show - Comforted by beauties - Susuma Yokota: Symbol - The Living Creation - Giant Flat-screen Color TV - Wine is a Mocker; Strong Drink is Raging - Two Comely Shownauts, "wired," effect a penetration into Bruno's - A Fretful Husband - Speculation and Indifferent Radio Reception - Concluding Remarks - Our National Anthem - Oh, no! MORE Show! - Our Relations - Stillmore Show District - What if? - Building For the Future - L'envoi... 180 Minutes.

MIMIKO, THE TINY MONSTER-- AND FRIENDS
December 4, 2015 10:00pm

 

A SubGenius Klassik from 1983. Guest Helmsman Cmndr. Puzzling Evidence unearths a ripe-smelling old file from the Cellars of the Nameless Mission. (Far) back in the day, on KPFA 94.1 FM in Berkeley, came the genesis of this sprightly li'l contender in the Pantheon, Mimiko. Not to the Sacred Scribe alone is the Act of Creation where the Figures stand in the Hall of the Unspeakable. Listen, and wonder. During this episode Dr. H. Owll was far, far away in distant Arizona, speaking at the Memorial Service of the late Merl Reagle, the greatest Cruciverbalist on the planet-- and collaborator with Dr. Howll on numerous songs and plays, even an Operetta, "Das Lebensflamme." None of the obits for Merl mentioned a thing about the music, even the one in the NY Times. Now that's all over, Dr. H. Owll is back, and Merl is still deceased. We're getting pretty tired of all these deaths over here at Ask Dr. Hal! N.B.: Previous announcements about the upcoming run of the LIVE A.D.H. Show in January are now invalid. The latest is that these shows WILL be on FRIDAYS, not Thursday nights as we have announced in this space. And so we progress.

ON THE VERY CUSP OF AGE SIXTY-FIVE
November 27, 2015 10:00pm

 

And so, 58 minutes and change after the conclusion of this podcast, Dr. H. Owll was gobsmacked in the chops, metaphorically speaking, by imminent mortality and the looming arrival of the hour (2:00 AM) of the commencement of his sixty-sixth year. The feeble, tottering old fossil, blasted with eld and freezing old age, managed to dodder along and produce, with palsied hands and wheezing voice, this 181-minute offering, despite icy breaths from the grim and frozen Land of Death. Fun for all, followed by tonight's movie NABONGA (1944), featuring Buster "Flash" Crabbe and the lovely, sarong-clad Julie London, stars of a different gorilla (suit) film showcased on a recent, previous episode. It was a gig, we suppose. Survivor of a plane crash in the dense Equatorial jungle of the Congo Basin, kid Julie grows into sultry adulthood, accompanied by the faithful, devoted ape, whom we learn far too late in the picture (sorry about the confusion) is not, after all, really named "Nabonga" but rather, it seems, the more unimaginative "Sampson." MIGHTY JOE YOUNG this ain't. Along comes Buster, decked out in pith helmet and tropical kit, who, along with the trigger-happy, treasure-seeking, ape-shooting villain (the reliable Barton MacLane), forever disturbs this idyllic Rousseau-esque equilibrium, drags Julie back to Hollywood's vision of the Patriarchal West and puts the ape (most probably played by professional gorilla-suit wearer Charlie Gomorra) six feet under, but not, however, after the big, simian galoot has his way, discreetly off camera but certainly within audio range, with gold-digging Bad Girl Fifi D'Orsay, who fails to survive the too-kinky encounter. Show proper also features Puzzling Evidence (live), Sacred Scribe Ivan Stang, Dr. Philo Drummond, Peter Sellers and the Mutant Mountain Boys, among others. 181 mins.

...AND STILL MORE: AFTERGLOW, AFTER SHOW
November 20, 2015 10:00pm

 

An addendum to the November 20th Ask Dr. Hal! By the Sacred Rutabaga's forbearance, the hangers-on hung on until, ultimately, even they tired of their torqued and twisted tropes and elaborations. Hear the remainder, perhaps even including elements which persisted after Dr. H. Owll limped home, additionally burdened by two huge bags of coffee beans. But that, as they say, is another story. Featuring (most probably) Puzzling Evidence a the helm, with the indefatigable KrOB Sabrepop.

FLIGHT OF THE RED ADMIRAL
November 20, 2015 10:00pm

 

The Red Admiral (Vanessa atalanta) has an approximate wingspan of 45 to 50 milimeters. In North America, the species characteristically has two broods, which can emerge at any time during a period spanning the month of March through middle-to-late October. Wintering largely in south Texas after migration, this is the very butterfly celebrated by lepidopterist-author Vladimir Nabokov in his novel PALE FIRE. In a special on-the-spot recording, hear entomologist Daria Goldie describe the life-cycle of Vanessa, after Sarah and Pete Goldie visit the Show. Until then, SubGenius Archives release the post-'Bob'tism reflections of Dr. H. Owll, Sacred Scribe Ivan Stang and Dr. Philo Drummond at Caffeina's at Wisteria during 2015's X-Day Week. In the inclusive, ecumenical spirit of intellectual and philosophico-religious tolerance, Mr. Goldie's unpleasant remarks about the Church of the SubGenius pass without comment. Puzzling Evidence and KrOB make their appearance, eventually stretching the podcast to an inordinate length (see extended episode posting, above: AND STILL MORE: AFTERGLOW, AFTER SHOW).

EAT A WIDE VARIETY OF FOODS
November 13, 2015 10:00pm

 

"As the groaning stomach of a growing Nation requires a fulsome feed, to provide a dinner for the population is a mighty task indeed." According to the new Dietary Guidelines endorsed by the National Board of Nutritional Demonology, varying one's caloric intake ensures that it's relatively easy to avoid being entombed forever in the Burial Chamber of the Food Pyramid. This lip-smacking episode of Ask Dr. Hal! is 180 minutes (we exceeded our scheduled time) of gourmandizing, monitored on-site by Studio Guest nurse Annabella, R.N. Also consulting: "Doc" Goldie, KrOB Sabrepop. M.D. and, shadowy and in the velvet background, Puzzling Evidence...

FLYING SAUCER AND ANTIGRAVITY RESEARCH IN THE THIRD REICH, 1943-1945
November 6, 2015 10:00pm

 

Another "bottle" show wherein Dr. H. Owll attempted to craft varying currents into a Flow of Show. Poetick Recitation included The Rime of the Ancient Mariner by S.T. Coleridge, garbled at the end because of persistent distraction, mainly from the ??!!@#&#%??!! studio phone-- ringing again and again after about 40 minutes into the reciting... Y'know, folks, when one is trying to perform a 45-minute poem from memory and trying to accompany the same with music and sound effects, one thing one CANNOT do is stop and take a phone call. Just sayin'. More from the late Whitman McGowan, too-- first our home-grown recapitulation of his rant, "Bobs," followed by the canonical night club recording of the same prophetic piece. NOTE: ASK DR. HAL! the Night Club Show is coming back, at the famed Chez Poulet Gallery-Cabaret, in January and perhaps beyond! On Thursday nights, not Fridays, though. That didn't work too well last time. Watch this space.

PLUTO'S DARK AREAS, or, WE PODCAST OUR FATE UPON THE WATERS
October 30, 2015 10:00pm

 

New mysteries have come to light via the exploration of Dwarf Planet Pluto by the New Horizons Ralph/Multi-spectral Visible Imaging Camera. At the Live Podcast Show at Oakland's XOXO Club, Pete Goldie revealed the albedic nimbus of the unknown and unexpected Plutonian atmosphere, as well as this outward world's mountains, frozen plains and foggy hazes. "Doc" Goldie also put up on the club's Big Screen the so-called "heart" seen on the planet's surface, called Tombaugh Regio (Tombaugh's Region), a curiously flat and smoothly frozen area named for Pluto's discoverer, Clyde William Tombaugh (1906-1997). It lies just north of the Plutonian Equator, northeast of Cthulhu Regio (Cthulhu's Region). Karlyn DeSteno played, sang and was lovely; Rusty Rebar recited and the question-and-answer period, derived from the Ask Dr. Hal! Night Club Show (returning January 2016) was lively. Throughout, Sherilyn Connelly provided computer-derived accompaniment to the audio; a KrOB highlight showcased monsters destroying San Francisco's visible landmarks. All hosted by John Hell. Outside, the peripatetic Doggie Diner Heads loomed on their trailer. Too bad if you couldn't be there, but you do get to listen.

THE GODDESS OF RADIO
October 23, 2015 10:00pm

 

Not Rev. Baby Bear, not officially. No, we invoke the tutelary Spirit of the Air Waves, whose light-speed broadcasts ring the Earth and fly at all times into the depths of Space. A "bubble" show, in which the sole board operator, Dr. Howland Owll, entertains himself with various oddments. Among these, new audio from Church of the SubGenius Headquarters in Ohio (Mars), poetry, pedantry, and commercials from the Dawn of Time. Let's hope She (the Goddess) blesses our enterprise, since, as we must always bring ourselves sadly to admit, it's not really Radio we do here, strictly speaking. No appearance from KrOB or Puzzling Evidence, nor did "Doc" Pete Goldie enter with a vinous libation. NEXT WEEK: our Podcast for XOXO in Oakland, in Jack London Square! The first of many, perhaps, or... a dismally failed one-shot. A paying audience ($5, and food and drink are available) will probably decide the issue decisively.

PLANETS IN PERIL
October 16, 2015 10:00pm

 

Friday night, and the Show is in full swing. First KrOB, then Puzzling Evidence and at last Karen Carpenter trickle in, the latter with wine and cheer. Soon it's time for our off-and-on long-running Narrated Movie feature. Up this week: BATTLE OF THE WORLDS, a 1961 programmer directed by "Anthony Dawson" (read Antonio Margarheti) and (mainly) featuring Claude Rains. Also known as IL PLANETA DEGLI UOMINI SPENTI, the story features a rogue planet, or perhaps a runaway asteroid, said to be from another galaxy(!)--which is probably, one must suppose, a translation error for saying another solar system. This wandering world, in the movie dubbed "The Outsider," mysteriously begins orbiting the Earth (uh-oh), and, wouldn't you know, then threatens it with lethal flying saucers. Rains emotes and over-emotes, saucers spin, model rockets on wires smoke in space and explode, and general tedium reigns. We all have a say in the narration. This was because, basically, we couldn't find the far more enjoyable QUEEN OF BLOOD (1966) with Florence Marly, Dennis Hopper, John Saxon and an aged but still living Basil Rathbone, for free online. Where BATTLE is concerned-- well, now recent discoveries have shown that there are indeed rogue worlds, wandering, un-shepherded by any sun, through space. (Gulp!) As for the plot, with sentient machines set in motion by their extinct creators threatening the human race, the relevancy to our oncoming predicament is too oppressively great. Remember our live podcast from OXO, coming Oct. 30th!

ADDENDA
October 10, 2015 1:00am

 

ART IS SYNTHESIS wouldn't lie down and go to sleep after the official mandated closure time of 1:00 AM on Saturday, October 10th. No, sir, the palaver kept a-happenin' with in-studio kabitzers KrOB, Karen Carpenter and, on Flugelhorn, Puzzling Evidence. Dr. H. Owll was still there too, riding the wave. Give a listen.

ART IS SYNTHESIS!
October 9, 2015 10:00pm

 

First a tribute to our friend the late Whitman McGowan. Then, after consuming a Whitman Sampler, we turn to our last live Ask Dr. Hal! Show from April of 2015 (our next will be in January 2016). Poetry periodically breaks forth. We thank those who support our enterprise. And we mix new tropes with old favorites-- madness, violence, arcane obsessions, weird learning and ghastly comedy, all laid out in an atmosphere of po-faced, high Neo-Gothick. But you expected that. With Karen Carpenter and KrOB, toward the very, very end. Upcoming Oct. 30th: our LIVE XOXO Podcast from Jack London Square! Admission for audience members: $5.00 [cheap].

VOICES FROM THE WHIRLWIND
October 2, 2015 10:00pm

 

This solo effort (by Dr. H. Owll) employs overlayerings of (surprise!) SubGenius Archival Material, from X-Day (2015) and other sources. Although KrOB at one point did stop in, he declined to participate. Among topics: Michael Peppe on Bedbugs, the "Fiend Voices that Rave" and whisper to lonely travelers through the wilderness and the Purity of SubGenius Doctrine (99 & 44/100 %). This is what rushes unceasingly through one cranium. Punctuated by Commercial Announcements from the Lost Past! Coming-- October 30th! Our LIVE Podcast Show at XOXO in Oakland!

SOMEWHERE, A LISTENER IS ENTERTAINED
September 25, 2015 10:00pm

 

Back in action, and we're recording. Eveything's goin' fine. And look, it's KrOB! And Karen Carpenter! Puzzling is far away this time, on a separate expedition. Time to break out the liquor and cigars. Man, oh man-- this is solid living. Yes, sir! A Good Cigar is a Smoke. We take some calls. You know, it's for the fans-- "Bob" bless 'em! --that we do it all. We know they're listening, since that's what keeps us going...

THE STEERER'S POST RESUMED
September 18, 2015 10:00pm

 

Hobbled, the injured Dr. H. Owll was conveyed to the Studio by Puzzling Evidence. There a new Show was decanted. The usual opening move, SubGenius Historical recordings from 2015's X-Day Drill (as it turned out)introduced Poetick Recitations from Dr. Howll and the incomparable, ravishing Robin Renee, his aquatic companion on Eastern voyages... More currents and eddies whirled and curled the proceedings around visiting Guest Artists Karen Carpenter and KrOB Sabrepop, until it was time for the narrated film, WRESTLING WOMEN VS.THE AZTEC MUMMY. The latter, it seems, can transform at will into a (rubber-ish)
bat, and even into a Mexican Red-Knee tarantula. And so we close. With a climactic musical passage, the drama comes to a conclusion, all passion spent. Through an unfortunate control malfunction, though, Puzzling Evidence then "smears" the "Outro."

POST-SHOW POT-POURRI
September 12, 2015 1:00am

 

After the official end-time of 1:00 AM the Show really picked up speed. Though Dr. H. Owll was laid up with a pedal appendage injury, the Monitors made much of the available time and added their unique adumbrations to the ever-elaborating gestalt. About 180 minutes of this. For some, anathema, for others, bliss.

SPACE COMMAND REPORTS GRAVITATIONAL ANOMALY
September 11, 2015 10:00pm

 

After a successful return from the Planet of Dust, Dr. Howll was re-acclimatized and prepared to take up his duties. Unfortunately, however, a gravitational fluke left him completely disabled. The slight jar of landing so damaged his right leg that he was unable to report in to RV HQ. Once again, Team Puzzling Evidence stepped in to fill the breach.

Puzzling Evidence's Dr. Hal Substitute A374-d
September 4, 2015 10:00pm

 

At Burning Man, the wounded Dr. Hal prepared to do his Stage Show on the following day, the Day of the Burn, completely severed from any hope of altering the content of the scheduled Podcast back in the Cool Gray City of Love, the Land of Poets' Pride... But Puzzling was, as ever, at the helm. The result, critics say, is of a piece with thirty-one plus-odd years of broadcasting for his Secret Masters.

While Dr. Hal Stuggled for Survival...
August 28, 2015 10:00pm

 

Dr. Howland Owll was at Burning Man, battling daemonic forces in the Accursed Desert. Alone, raving, sick and tempted by Ahriman, Apollyon and Beelzebub (among others)he endured endless dust storms and brain-eroding Dubstep. During this protracted period of penitence, back at Radio Valencia this show was thoughtfully substituted for one he might have done, put in place by Cmndr. Puzzling Evidence, late USN.

NO-SHOW GLAMOUR-GUEST-- AND THE REST
August 21, 2015 10:00pm

 

WE were expecting ultra-attractive Nurse Isabella to be in-studio, in her fetching uniform, to tend to our various needs, medical and Spiritual.
But, as the Norns would have it, she became Stuck in Traffic (not to mention Hooked on Phonics).
Another time, soon, we promise-- provided Dr. H. Owll survives the upcoming, looming juggernaut known as Burning Man.
Meanwhile, a large crowd gathered-- IN the studio!
Present were Ginger Vee and Sleepy Swain, Karen Carpenter, KrOB, Rusty Rebar, Margaretha M'Organ Antic-pantic, Puzzling Evidence, Col. Spozzmo and everyone's newest see-worthy Gull-friend-- the captivating "Brunellita."
Some of them even deigned to get "on mike" while beleaguered Doktor Howll frantically operated the machinery, as you'll hear here! Eat 'em up.
For dessert, the show coasts to an end as Puzzling Evidence reminisces about the Desert...
After this, the Deluge, as a "glitch" causes the "station" to go "off the air..."
Some people are all thumbs. Or, maybe they just have big feet?
They're Hell on "radio," THAT'S for sure.

BLUSFELLES AND PHALANASPHERES
August 14, 2015 10:00pm

 

Another excursion to Dr. H. Owll's monomaniacal inner Monster Landscape sorts and eventually picks out the remaining cheese-coated baldrics. As here your favorites, in good order, Rutabaga-shaped morions offer inadequate protection, but warriors of werewolfery persisted just the same in their whiskery Unibrow-mooned monotony, until lyrical parameters were long-established, in true Justice. Domestic tranquility, meanwhile, and provision for the common defense insured the Chatterbox. Even long-distance disruption, NHLG-style couldn't spill the contents of the apple cart, which we kept before the hoarse voices of orange appeal.

POST X-DAY FUGUE IN THREE PARTS
August 7, 2015 10:00pm

 

With poetry by J.R.R. Tolkien and Dylan Thomas. Also featured: Bill Cosby Talks to Kids About Drugs, Whitman McGowan, The Mutant Mountain Boys, Ivan Stang, Princess Wei R. Doe, Phineas Narco, Dr. H. Owll, Priestess Pisces and Reverend Baby Bear. More armchair-quarterbacking on the End-of-the-World which, once again, wasn't that. Newly processed digitations from SubGenius Headquarters comprise the appendicular skeleton. Ominously, all this material begins to seem less post-X-Day than pre-Burning Man... And there was no movie, none at all.

VAMPIRES AND VAMPIRIC GENESIS
July 31, 2015 10:00pm

 

On his second show after the return from his far travels, Dr. H. Owll hosts a presentation robustly redolent of post-X-Day ratiocination.
Featured: the poetry of Dylan Thomas and Whitman McGowan.
Speculation and periphrasis. More architecture of SubGenius serendipity; symbiotic synecdoche comes to the fore. We speak of a class of metonymy, often by means of either mentioning a small part for the entirety of the whole, or conversely the whole for one of its parts. Funny how that works. Then, having visited planet Uranus for last week's episode, we turn out attention, via Mario Bava, to, distantly in space, the more exotic, fog-shrouded Vampire world. With the aid of Puzzling Evidence, we enjoy-- or do we endure? --a thorough visit. Not present on any microphone, KrOB nonetheless flits about the studio, finally coming to a rest suspended, head downward, from the ceiling. Show is about two hours and 5 minutes.

UNITED AIRLINES JOURNEY TO URANUS (PLANET 7)
July 24, 2015 10:00pm

 


Back from his lengthy X-Day travels and adventures, after much bargaining with the Xists to "spare Earth over for one more year," worn-out but game Dr. H. Owll presents, in allegorical form (thanks to guest Radio God Puzzling Evidence), the Bulldada Version of What They Have Against Us-- a stunning indictment of bad species behavior by the usual suspects-- humans.
With Ivan Stang and other recent X-Day voices.
St. Andrew the Impaled performs the bawdy SubG classic, "Saucer Built for One."
Then on to our evening cinema feature, AIP's 1962 programmer set on sinister green Uranus, where American astronauts, sent by the all-powerful UN, find, set amidst the -200 degrees C Uranian landscape, the Giant Rat Cyclops, Monster Spider, Pulsating Uber-Brain (radioactive, complete with megalo-eyeball) and comely chorus girls. What were they expecting to find, anyway?
With John "Planet Arous" Agar (the former Mr. Shirley Temple), Greta Thyssen and fetching Hanne Smyrner, the first woman to appear bottomless in PLAYBOY.
Three hours.
Please contribute to the Ask Dr. Hal! Radio Show Dues Fund, and "Bob" will bless you, or at least leave you alone.

THE WANDERINGS OF DR. HAL ( Part 5 )
July 17, 2015 10:00pm

 

A present-day Ahasuerus, Dr. H. Owll is condemned to roam without rest
among Eastern realms, when the planets are in their present configuration.
Puzzling Evidence Laboratories has, in the meantime, kindly created this
ingenious, life-like synthesis as a succedaneum.
Enjoy the same sort of stuff as always, with added overlays of kibitzing from
KrOB and other co-conspirators.
Dr. H., meanwhile, is engaged elsewhere generating more radio with Stang,
the Head of his Order, which shall in the fullness of time come to light, no doubt
in future iterations...

THE WANDERINGS OF DR. HAL ( Part 4 )
July 11, 2015 1:00am

 

A present-day Ahasuerus, Dr. H. Owll is condemned to roam without rest
among Eastern realms, when the planets are in their present configuration.
Puzzling Evidence Laboratories has, in the meantime, kindly created this
ingenious, life-like synthesis as a succedaneum.
Enjoy the same sort of stuff as always, with added overlays of kibitzing from
KrOB and other co-conspirators.
Dr. H., meanwhile, is engaged elsewhere generating more radio with Stang,
the Head of his Order, which shall in the fullness of time come to light, no doubt
in future iterations...

THE WANDERINGS OF DR. HAL ( Part 3 )
July 10, 2015 10:00pm

 

A present-day Ahasuerus, Dr. H. Owll is condemned to roam without rest
among Eastern realms, when the planets are in their present configuration.
Puzzling Evidence Laboratories has, in the meantime, kindly created this
ingenious, life-like synthesis as a succedaneum.
Enjoy the same sort of stuff as always, with added overlays of kibitzing from
KrOB and other co-conspirators.
Dr. H., meanwhile, is engaged elsewhere generating more radio with Stang,
the Head of his Order, which shall in the fullness of time come to light, no doubt
in future iterations...

THE WANDERINGS OF DR. HAL ( Part 2 )
July 3, 2015 10:00pm

 

A present-day Ahasuerus, Dr. H. Owll is condemned to roam without rest
among Eastern realms, when the planets are in their present configuration.
Puzzling Evidence Laboratories has, in the meantime, kindly created this
ingenious, life-like synthesis as a succedaneum.
Enjoy the same sort of stuff as always, with added overlays of kibitzing from
KrOB and other co-conspirators.
Dr. H., meanwhile, is engaged elsewhere generating more radio with Stang,
the Head of his Order, which shall in the fullness of time come to light, no doubt
in future iterations...

THE WANDERINGS OF DR. HAL ( Part 1 )
June 26, 2015 10:00pm

 

A present-day Ahasuerus, Dr. H. Owll is condemned to roam without rest
among Eastern realms, when the planets are in their present configuration.
Puzzling Evidence Laboratories has, in the meantime, kindly created this
ingenious, life-like synthesis as a succedaneum.
Enjoy the same sort of stuff as always, with added overlays of kibitzing from
KrOB and other co-conspirators.
Dr. H., meanwhile, is engaged elsewhere generating more radio with Stang,
the Head of his Order, which shall in the fullness of time come to light, no doubt
in future iterations...

HARD TIMES FOR VAMPIRES
June 19, 2015 10:00pm

 

Dr. H. Owll helms his last pre-X-Day podcast, resurrecting the dead
and gone hours with his usual competency, such as it is. Moments
on deck include phantoms and shadows of the long-ago, far away
Indianapolis DeVival of 2002(!) among other crumbling historical
relics...
Then, another narrated film ends the podcast, this time UNCLE WAS
A VAMPIRE (1959), in its original form titled TEMPI DURI PER VAMPIRI
("Hard Times for Vampires")...
Thanks to Puzzling Evidence, this moldering curiosity is exhumed
and brought back to a shambling counterfeit of life.
An EXTREMELY un-funny comedian plays a cash-strapped Baron
forced to sell his ancestral castle to a hotel chain. Becoming a hapless,
Jerry-Lewis-like bellhop in his former home is one of many indignities
he, not to mention the audience, is forced to undergo...
But then, salvation arrives (from our perspective) as he turns out to
be related to vampire aristocrat Christopher Lee, who arrives for a
(just-in-) timely visit.
Our unlikeable protagonist is made a vampire himself by the usual
procedure. He occupies much time biting the necks of Italian bikini
starlets, until the curse is lifted from him by a kiss from ravishing Sylva
Koscina.
Well, that worked in NOSFERATU, too, both versions. Love can,
apparently, release one from life-in-death, which we have to take as a
theoretical possibility, though indeed greatly longed for, in our own case.
Just after his magnetic performance in Hammer's style-setting DRACULA
(1958), known to Americans as HORROR OF DRACULA, Lee has never been
more charismatic, magnificent or thanatotically glamorous, radiantly
inhabiting his freshly decanted vampire persona. This poor film, though it
boasts Lee and Koscina, both so highly watchable, isn't fit to kiss the feet
of, say, Polanski's great and occasionally even profound vampire comedy
DANCE OF THE VAMPIRES (1967). But here Lee (and lovely Koscina) give
this otherwise nearly unwatchable programmer a major boost.
You'll have to take our word for it as we narrate the picture, unless you
can follow along in approved digital fashion.

SPACE, TIME AND MICHAEL PEPPE
June 12, 2015 10:00pm

 

Omar Khayyam got in his innings during this episode-- then, the Persian Astronomer-poet's contemporary incarnation, Michael Peppe, stepped into the breach. For three full hours the podcast vacillated between the poles of the Sacred and the Profane. IN YOUR FACE, National Public Radio! We're more "educational" on OUR show than YOU could ever be. Now THAT'S Entertainment!

VOICES FROM THE VAULT
June 5, 2015 10:00pm

 

While Dr. Hal was in Petrolia, California, up in the state's Lost Coast "undeveloped" area on a field trip of sorts, splashing in the Mattole River with various lovely Naiads and Nereids, that night's Show went on as scheduled, just the same. Though Dr. Hal, even as he enjoyed viewing the Beauties of Nature in the Raw, was yet unable to helm his eponymous program as accustomed, Ask Dr. Hal! show archivist Puzzling Evidence was on the job-- he compounded a savory and appetizing Mulligan Stew of past performances and radio radiance. Dr. Hal, floating in the river, did a live performance for the laughing, un-swimming-suited sirens, which envanesced and vanished on the blossom-scented wind, never to be recorded. But Puzzling Evidence called upon his mighty audio collection to save the day, synthesizing a Radio Valencia show more Radio Valencia than Radio Valencia itself...


BAT'S CHIT CRAZY
May 29, 2015 10:00pm

 


Life? Life, on the Moon?
Sure, why not. We get into it. And more, with Dylan Thomas, The Uncluded, Baby Bear,
Rev. Ivan Stang and gumshoe Pat Novak, on a case.
The Isle is full of Voices.
And a famous young SubGenius, in fact, has submitted that we're all more or less afflicted--
with a species of mental derangement, symbolized by a paper record of a flying mammal's
indebtedness.
But, sadly, she "holds the paper."
There were no special guests, no "technical problems," no Monster Movie, no...
Nobody here but us bats, Boss. That's right, move the comma.
Multitudes contained.
A Stream of Consciouslessness.
Every now and then, we do a good one.


HOW THE PYTHON LOST HIS VENOM
May 22, 2015 10:00pm

 

That's dealt with fairly soon.
Then comes the part with-- oh, boy! --the Special Show Guests-- Puzzling Evidence! The
Overman, Philo Drummond, a little later on! And, eventually, and terminally, Michael Peppe!
A conversational free-for-all, round after round, among these legendary big-time Sub-
Geniuses and Dr. H. Owll. Quite the fat-chew, eh? What a chin-wag, eh? Eh?
The movie tonight is, or was A Visit to a Small Planet, featuring industrial-strength Jerry
Lewis.
It proved a less-than-stellar (get it?) choice, though, because (1.) The film sacrifices Gore
Vidal's stage play to big-time player Jerry's whims and shtick, and 2. Michael Peppe, with
scattered apprehension, was incapable of following it or commenting on it. Then there's the
unavoidable fact that (3.) the dialogue-heavy script takes forever to move out of the interior
set where most of the first act is set. (4.) In any case, Michael Peppe just yakked loudly away,
right over 95% of the dialogue.
(5.) The long-anticipated scene where Jerry grooves with the beatniks didn't happen, and didn't
happen... finally, Puzz-Ev mercifully advanced the plot, artificially-- and then it happened.
Well, it's no Attack of the Crab Monsters.
But live and learn. Or, depending on who you are, just live...

THE EYE OF TIME LOOKS BACKWARD...
May 15, 2015 10:00pm

 


Reverberations, waves, ripples and resonant echoes from the live Ask Dr. Hal!
shows of April still sound in this, our latest podcast.
The last and most riotous of the Chez Poulet shows is featured here, but then,
like eying a far-off galaxy whose light has just now reached us, we behold an iteration
far farther nestled in the Beforetime-- the Eighties, to be more precise.
No, really, 1982-- the younger voices of Dr. Hal, Mobius Rex and Puzzling Evidence
are heard along with that of the late Jeff Robins (1960-2002), whose voice has often been
mistaken by audiophiles for that of his brother, Dr. H. Owll.
An archival recording, made by Puzzling Evidence, from his extensive collection.
And then-- movie time: The Attack of the Crab Monsters.
It seems that giant, radioactive mutant crabs are picking off the cast one by one in
this exceptionally murky and hard-to-see (illegally rephotographed?) print.
Dr. H. Owll's deteriorating vision causes much of what he narrates and describes to
be a mere guessing game. Hot-spot and fall-off are a consistent conundrum.
Then, the outsized shellfish, having consumed the brains of their late victims, call
eerily to the diminishing survivors in the voices of the departed, to lure them into giant
nipper-range.
It's not just mimesis-- you can actually hold a conversation with the things, and they
advocate for their point of view, for all the good it does...
While this goes on, below the surface, the monstrous, swollen crustaceans, strangely
transmogrified and hypertrophied decapods of the infraorder Brachyurae, are chewing
away with their multiple mouth-parts at the island's foundation, making it a smaller and
smaller place for the last stand of our blurry, barely visible heroes...



ODDS & ENGRAMS
May 8, 2015 10:00pm

 

We are so far ahead of Conspiracy Science that it's laughable, boy, just laughable.
Look what we got.
A hypothetical means by which memory traces are stored-- or a practical one,
of long-proven provenance.
Thus, a show of impressions from recent iterations of live p'formance, alive, alive-oh
at the uber-fashionable Chez Poulet Gallery-Cabaret, which in common parlance is yclept
"Chicken John's Warehouse."
Where the Elite Meet, reet?
The recording quality? Better, according to blowback, feedback and payback.
Performance quality? Well, this... be, er, a more... nebulous entity.
And we intersperse poetry, music and various gags. Wow!
We're getting back in our groove, see? Now, everyone calm down. Keep telling
yourself... it's only a show. It's only a show...
Next Week: The Final Show of April, and far, far before...
Then, Movie Night! Hint: Watch Out For Gigantic Crustaceans.

FROM ST. ABDUL ALHAZRED TO JUNGLE MOON MEN
May 1, 2015 10:00pm

 


It was a month of doing live shows, April was. And we tried to keep the radio show going during
that time, but that proved to be somewhat rough sledding.
Those live shows and Radio Valencia shows, you see, were on the same day at the same time.
And somehow, something always prevented the podcast from going out properly...
Here at Ask Dr. Hal! we resist the idea that our serial misfortunes had anything to do with those
shows dedicated to textual exegesis of the notorious Al Azif or Necronomicon of the so-called "Mad
Arab," Abdul Ashif Bethel Muhammed Alhazred (668 - 732 A.D.), known historically as Abdul Alhazred.
We managed to obtain a verifiable copy and decided to share it with our audience.
That weird misfortunes of various kinds seemed to beleaguer the show after we introduced this
unique and, we thought, interesting subject material, a Grimoire or book of ancient magic in
fragmentary form, is and can only be pernicious superstition, a typical case of correlation without
connection.
Then came the First of May.
So once again on the show, after the usual poetico-musical interludes, we returned to Alhazred's
text.
Unfortunately, a mysterious illness, seemingly out of nowhere, strongly afflicted Dr. Hal and may
have negatively affected and distorted that evening's podcast. Somehow we made it past that part of the
program, utilizing counterspells, cantrips, talismans and sacrificial procedures.
Then to the lighter side of the show. Puzzling Evidence visited and our commentary can be heard
for the last seventy-five minutes, commentary on the motion picture JUNGLE MOON MEN (1955) with
Johnny "Jungle Jim" Weissmuller, midget actor Billy Curtis, the voluptuous Helen Stanton in the role
of Moon Goddess Oma, and Kimba the chimp. With all this, we ran an extra quarter of an hour.
Dr. Hal is now convalescing, receiving visitors, and is expected to be on the job again next week.

Live at Chez Poulet on April 17th 2015
April 24, 2015 10:00pm

 

This show is a live recording of the Ask Dr. Hal Show at Chez Poulet on April 17th, 2015.

THESE FRAGMENTS I HAVE SHORED...
April 17, 2015 10:00pm

 


Listen and wonder-- these are the first eighty minutes of the live Ask Dr. Hal!
Show going on a mile away over at Chicken John's warehouse, the fabled Chez
Poulet Gallery-Cabaret, on the 10th of April...
Then... well, let's just say there were, not recording problems, but this time a
problem playing the recording.
Oh, if we kept this relay process up long enough we'd surely, surely get the
hang of how to do it.
Anyway, there's only one more example of our attempt to present the live
show coming your way-- next week's.
After the first eighty minutes herein, a huge, hour-long gap, or hole, of
excruciating dead silence opens up in the record.
You will not encounter it, ideally.
This aperture, this pause, this fermata, has been skillfully closed after the fact,
stitched together by ADH's own adroit in-house audio surgeon, Dr. Fiasco.
Any irregularity greater than what might be expected as part of our usual
product should be blamed, in this instance, on the Monster, not the Doctor.
Luckily, there's a reserve of post-show skylarking and kibitzing to call upon
by the usual in-studio gremlins, in place of the vacuous vacuum.
Don't expect a full-length, industrial-strength episode this time, however.
Onward and upward!


2015: A SPACE ODDITY
April 11, 2015 12:00pm

 

ASTRONOMER ROYAL Pete Goldie (to the Ask Dr. Hal! Show) provides Expert Scientific Assistance. What we (or the Station) would ever do without him we just don't know. Probably simply go out of existence, like decaying particles in the farthest reaches of Space...

ECHOES AND REVERBERATIONS
April 11, 2015 1:00am

 

A recording of sorts, made at the live Ask Dr. Hal! Show on April 10th.
We are consulting with experts in the field and doing everything possible
to improve the sound duplicating process.
At the same time, inevitable limitations on the ability of the equipment to
provide acceptable acoustic balances within the performance space have
produced, at best, a flawed version of the recorded presentation.
Some voices, we readily acknowledge, are blurred; others are too "warm"
--which is to say, too near the local microphone. Crowd noise at times partially
muffles the amplified vociferation from the stage.
And yet, if one listens patiently enough, one may gain a partial under-
standing of what it must be like to be attending one of the now-ongoing live Ask
Dr. Hal! Shows, as executed at "Chicken" John Rinaldi's Chez Poulet Gallery-
Cabaret.
The hoarse, expostulating voice heard continually throughout, hectoring,
browbeating, is that of Chicken himself.
The loud, explosive and unending laughter emanates from the vicinity of
the Smoke Pot Guys. And the latter is well-recorded indeed, since the ambient
microphone was nearer those laughers than it was to the stage, to Dr. Howll
and Chicken John.
Every now and then something, or a piece of something, seems to
emerge.
Well, next week's, as we've said, should be better.
We'll be back to doing our usual podcasts as of May 1st.

EVERYTHING'S GOING FINE
April 3, 2015 10:00pm

 

A matter of timing, of shoring up spaces to be filled-- in this case,
ruminations on chronology.
From February 27th, actually.
We were off doing the first of the anticipated 4 live shows at Chez
Poulet, you see.
The plan is that the audio from these will be posted here.
But, beware!
Yes, there was a show-- a quaint , contrived re-creation of our once-
revolutionary past.
Something like Colonial Williamsburg.
You shall hear for yourself, faithful follower. But the audio-- well, it's
often... muffled, and made incoherent by crowd noise...
Every now and then something, or a piece of something, seems to
emerge. For gleaners only, we fear that show will be, on Radio Valencia.
Deciding to run it was difficult... By the next week we will attempt to
solve this, and many other problems...

NECRONOMICON... AND OFF
March 27, 2015 10:00pm

 

We continued with textual criticism of the legend-haunted grimoire,
the Necronomicon of Abdul Alhazred, the "Mad Arab."
By golly, though-- there was yet another suite of weird audio and
technical problems. And we suppose they tend to come with this
particular territory.
This time those included being haunted by hallucinations,
epiphenomena, we suppose, of deteriorating eyesight.
Often these take the form of phantom insects. Hateful ones.
Regrettably, these have not gone away.
But there was more... finally, another narrated film, the BullDada-istic
Hercules Against the Moonmen, starring screen thespian Alan Steel.
This vintage motion picture runs half an extra hour, Etherettes and
Rocket Rookies.
Puzzling Evidence and KrOB hovered, but again didn't come
"on the air," though one can just make out Puzzling, during the narration
of the picture by Dr. Howll.
Remember, a performance series is coming up the next month which
will achieve, we hope, at least partial coverage on the program.
Yes, we'll be trying something entirely new, offering an audio version
of our Friday night live show at Chicken John's Chez Poulet Gallery-Cabaret.
Next week won't be live, or entirely so.
Expect a so-called "re-run" for at least the first few hours.
Or, maybe not. KrOB seems to think we can somehow cover the show
at Chicken's.
It's in the Lap of the Gods.
Some of you can guess which ones.

IN FOR A PENNY, IN FOR A POUND
March 20, 2015 10:00pm

 

More on the Necronomicon, with critical commentary... Some of the
more famous verses are explicated. Yes, some of that actually "got out."
But there were repercussions. There are always repercussions.
We hear studio guest Dr. Penny give a two-part sermon on Slack and
other SubGenius tropes. Flailing, failing studio equipment add greatly to
the ambiance. Coincidence, or Conspiracy?
Dr. Howll was exhausted, as it happens, exhausted-- from a scary, far
Northward trip comprised of, among other ingredients, car crashes and
poetick recitations...
But the show lumbered and labored on.
KrOB, Pete and Puzzling, the Apocalypse Triplets, were actually
present but, as is so often the case, not heard, or helpful...
The show ends, but then Dr. H. Owll narrates, with Dr. Penny's help,
the vintage motion picture PREHISTORIC WOMEN (1950), featuring lovely,
fur-clad Laurette Luez. Not, we hasten to add, PREHISTORIC WOMEN
(1967) with lovely, (less) fur-clad Martine "Nupondi" Beswicke.
The Pterodactyl attack is surprisingly good, in its own weird, floppy way.
Too bad no one without access to the picture can actually see it.
Still don't know how it was done.
Maybe in a future show... So many cavegirls, so few (perhaps) remaining
shows...
An extra hour (at least) is added to present this material, Etherettes and
Rocket Rookies.
Then, KrOB and Puzzling elbow Dr. Howll aside and begin their own
cacodaemoniacal sound assemblage, loaded for bear.
But that's not recorded here. We hear they left the studio in a reeking
mess, which our good friend Bullwinkle later completely cleaned up...
And just wait-- our shows at Chez Poulet Gallery-Cabaret (known less
euphoniously elsewhere as Chicken John's Warehouse), upcoming, will
spring through the month of April.
And, harken, Etherettes, Rocket Rookies, true believers all-- in that
coming month we'll be trying something entirely new, offering an audio
version of our month long live show at Chicken John's. Never before ever
attempted. Successfully, that is.
Next week-- more visitors! Ideally, human ones.

ETHERETTES AND ROCKET ROOKIES
March 13, 2015 10:00pm

 

The Ask Dr. Hal! Show continued in its efforts to present passages
from, and critical commentary on, the legend-haunted Necronomicon.
But, after introductory remarks... Funny how every time we try to do
this, something interferes. In this case, KrOB appeared and diverted the
show. Coincidence, or Conspiracy?
Then all chances of re-directing it into its original channel were lost
when Puzzling Evidence also appeared.
Well, we had a good time going over familiar ground. The fans didn't
seem to mind. And just wait-- our shows coming up will vault over these
and all other impediments...
And, harken, Etherettes, Rocket Rookies, true believers all-- in the
coming month we'll be trying something entirely new, offering an audio
version of our month long live show at Chicken John's Chez Poulet Gallery-
Cabaret. Never before attempted. Successfully, that is.
Never let it be said that we rest upon our laurels, at the hardy Ask Dr.
Hal! "Radio" Show! Until we do, that is.
Next week-- more visitors!

CAUGHT WITHOUT CHANGE ON THE BUS
March 6, 2015 10:00pm

 

THESE THINGS HAPPEN. Take a deep breath. Perhaps some of the other passengers may be willing to help you. It's easy to be taken advantage of, embarrassingly, to lose things in the Big City. The point is, there are also those who are willing to help.

A MATTER OF TIMING
February 27, 2015 10:00pm

 

The Treasures of Time lie High, in Urns, Coins, and Monuments, scarce below the
Roots of some Vegetables. Time hath endless Rarities, and shows of all varieties; which
reveals old things in Heaven, makes new Discoveries in Earth, and even Earth itself a
Discovery.
A night chewing the fat, as they say. Kicking the old ball around. A nice, long chin-
wag. With KrOB, the sole studio guest.
Rival Oddcast Nose Hair Lint Gland's own Karen Carpenter kept attempting to disrupt
the flow with a barrage of phoned-in questions, effortlessly fielded by Dr. Howll.
Samples of Ask Dr. Hal! shows from far-off places and times, from earlier cycles, invade
the Noosphere.
Also featuring the poetry of Dylan Thomas. Music of Yokota Susumu, from Symbol,
the Reverend Baby Bear and other proven sources. Excerpts from Negativland's new
album It's All in Your Head. We quote extensively from DJ Female Convict Scorpion's Bill
Cosby Talks to Kids About Drugs. And then there's that live, a capella rendition of the
re-worked lyrics from Hanna-Barbera's The Tom and Jerry Show...
Three irreplaceable hours of your life that you will never, ever get back.

Chatroom History
February 27, 2015 10:00pm - 1:30am

Dr. Penny: Praise the sweet name of "Bob". (10:41pm)
Errrrr-rrrl: Sweet? Sweet? No, no, "Bob" has a name as sour as the sourest persimmon. It's "sour" so as to be understood. Yes. It is certain. (10:44pm)
Dr. Penny: Oh yes, and fuck "Bob". (10:46pm)
Errrrr-rrrl: Precisely. Fucker. (10:47pm)
Dr. Penny: Fuck'r harder. (10:47pm)
Errrrr-rrrl: His is no sweet-thang prison bitch... he is only sweet when he wishes to be... (10:48pm)
Dr. Penny: Sweet fuckin'. (10:49pm)
Errrrr-rrrl: Like the sweet girl in the dress picking that daisy as the countdown to nuclear detenation rings out in the background... (10:49pm)
Errrrr-rrrl: Yet, little do they know... if "Bob" chooses then, yes, that daisy stem is the wire, itself, which may disconnect the fuse switch which leads to our destruction... or NOT. (10:51pm)
Errrrr-rrrl: It.. uh... all depends. (10:53pm)
Dr. Penny: Poppies! Poppies! Poppies! (10:53pm)
Dr. Penny: Slack can allow any which way. (10:54pm)
Errrrr-rrrl: Oh, sure, all of this might provide more "yucks" than your bar Mitzvah.., (10:55pm)
Errrrr-rrrl: or her bat Mitzvah.. (10:56pm)
Sesame Street alien: And the worst part of this downer is that you're in a room with Bill Cosby. (10:56pm)
Errrrr-rrrl: or that Catechism, SUnday School, est seminar... (10:57pm)
Errrrr-rrrl: Sure "Bob" might make you think, for a time, that it's all a big JOKE... (10:58pm)
Errrrr-rrrl: sure, sure, sure sure, SURE (10:59pm)
Alan B.: Hee hee hee, Earl, not too many of us remember that LBJ commercial anymore. (11:08pm)
Alan B.: AND DON'T MENTION THAT FUCKING DRESS. Thanks. (11:11pm)
Errrrr-rrrl: We've no need to remember it, I suppose, provided we're prepared to live it. However, then it becomes a lot of Hots-On-For-Nowhere, everyone addicted to the cynically hip "End Times Porn" Rev. Stang warns us about. (11:12pm)
Alan B.: I say live it, or live with it. (11:12pm)
Errrrr-rrrl: The Middle Way is the hardest and most rewarding. The string must be tight enough but no tighter to strike the correct note. (11:13pm)
Alan B.: Just the right amount of Slack. (11:13pm)
Errrrr-rrrl: Therefore -- be not overly cynical. Be hopeful and comforted. He/She/It who has ears to hear, let He/She/It kisten. (11:14pm)
Dr. Penny: Perfectly balanced on the slack wave. (11:19pm)
Alan B.: I love the Banana Splits. My grandma sent us the promotional bowls and cups when we were wee. (11:20pm)
Alan B.: Gentlemen. (11:21pm)
Alan B.: Danger Island!? (11:21pm)
Errrr-rrrrl: It's some of that Hannah Barbara Santa Barbara stuff KrOB thankfully plays. (11:22pm)
Alan B.: So much beefcake in the studio. (11:23pm)
Errrr-rrrrl: A Hanyah Nagilah Cartoon Production (11:23pm)
Alan B.: For having COPD, he was doing good to make it to 83. (11:23pm)
Alan B.: So everybody, quit smoking everything but (11:24pm)
Alan B.: 'frop. (11:24pm)
Alan B.: Hal, I got paid, the dosh is in the post. (11:25pm)
Alan B.: Karen Carpenter was attracted by all the beefcake, calls for a reachover. (11:25pm)
Errrr-rrrrl: Who? (11:25pm)
Alan B.: I know, right? I mean Pete Goldie. (11:26pm)
Errrr-rrrrl: They aren't blasting him into space, he needs to be buried quickly. (11:27pm)
Errrr-rrrrl: I mean Sir Nimoy. (11:27pm)
Alan B.: Houston, this is Tranquility Base . . . I can't believe that we are on fucking Vulcan. (11:28pm)
Alan B.: Sir Nimoy was pretty observant. He does need to be interred post haste. (11:28pm)
Alan B.: 30 day delay. (11:29pm)
Alan B.: 30 day notice. (11:29pm)
Alan B.: Okay, Hal, I'm paying the dosh directly to RV NOW. (11:29pm)
Errrr-rrrrl: I'll let them talk and stop typing. This box is usually only acknowledged On the Air for its complaints. But YEAH, send something fo this precious, entirely indispensible internet broadcast. Send it in. C'mon. (11:32pm)
Alan B.: Doing it now. (11:33pm)
Alan B.: And done. The farm is saved. (11:34pm)
Errrr-rrrrl: Yeah, everyone reading these words, send. Send it. Send. Send it on. Who ELSE can do an audio efffort like this one? (11:34pm)
Errrr-rrrrl: And very often in stereophonic sound. (11:39pm)
Alan B.: We need to just get some Hadrons up there, stat! (11:40pm)
Alan B.: Can we use Folger's Crystals, if we can't find Dilithium? (11:40pm)
Alan B.: WHY can't you START making PROGRAMMING SENSE?! (11:43pm)
Alan B.: Hot Velma: http://bit.ly/1E1Bq6j (11:45pm)
Dr. Penny: Sounds like they've already got hadrons. Folgers is for 3am. (11:45pm)
Alan B.: Dr. H.A.L. signs off on Space Jam?! (11:45pm)
Dr. Penny: Luscious. (11:46pm)
Dr. Penny: They believed that they could fly. (11:47pm)
Dr. Penny: More amusing is the man in the background with the cigarette. (11:48pm)
Karen Carpenter: want:http://bit.ly/1E1BPp3 (11:49pm)
Food.:::: Now speak about me. (11:50pm)
Alan B.: Hipster analog chic. (11:50pm)
Drink.::::: And leave me not out... (11:50pm)
Dr. Penny: He's turning the corner with his feet, maybe a pass around his neck, at a comic con, out for a fag. (11:50pm)
Dr. Penny: His watch is not the one Pete wants. (11:52pm)
Lawyer Penny: Yes, he wants the 0400 to 0800 watch (11:53pm)
Alan B.: I am Spock's Dad. (11:54pm)
So: , fly Dock's Spad. (11:56pm)
Alan B.: Hal, check yer mail. (11:59pm)
Alan B.: IBM and the Holocaust http://bit.ly/1E1CFlX (12:00am)
The Night People: So? (12:01am)
Alan B.: SPACE JEWS (12:02am)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/1E1CU0k -- Space Jews (12:02am)
Or: Cosmic Tribe (12:03am)
Oreders: Take your leisure at Tao Ying (12:03am)
Alan B.: Meesa love ask Dr. H.A.L.! http://bit.ly/1zNvjh1 (12:03am)
Alan B.: Start Trek Bible -- got it. (12:04am)
Alan B.: Start Drek (12:04am)
Alan B.: SEE! Jews in space! http://bit.ly/1zNvoB4 (12:05am)
Dr. Penny: Star Drax (12:05am)
Alan B.: Peak is about an hour into the show when the tracers start and you need trip toys. (12:11am)
Alan B.: Ask Dr. Hack. (12:17am)
Karen Carpenter: KrOb is as yakkity yak as Dr Hal (12:21am)
Alan B.: He is loquatious as hell, yes. (12:22am)
Alan B.: loquacious (12:22am)
Alan B.: That's not how I orgasm, just saying. (12:23am)
Moon Men: Leave Us Be! (12:24am)
Alan B.: That song was awesome (12:33am)
Alan B.: My old man told me it means: Loose Straps Mean Floppy Titis (12:37am)
Malbourough Man : L.et's S.top M.y F.ingers T.ired (12:37am)
Alan B.: approved. (12:38am)
Glass Smoking Tube: I'm hiding...heee heeee hheee heee (12:38am)
Cigarette Smoking Man: I'm alive . . . with pleasure! (12:39am)
nexus006: I live about 50 minutes south of you guys and yes we do wave to each other. (12:39am)
Lass Cloaking Booth Troll: So? (12:40am)
Alan B.: I've got a TRAIN to catch! (12:40am)
Dr. Penny: When the light is green, the trap is clean. (12:45am)
The Phone Company: Love Us. (12:47am)
Alan B.: STOP HURTING LISTENER! (12:47am)
The Phone Company: And, We hate The Science Guy. (12:47am)
The Phone Company: It's Fresno. (12:48am)
Alan B.: Fuckin' Fernet (12:51am)
Alan B.: No fucking in the kitchen. (12:51am)
The Phone Company: It's Fernet. (12:51am)
The Phone Company: It's Freedom. (12:51am)
Alan B.: Belligerent caller is belligerent. (12:52am)
Karen Carpenter: "it's hip to nate on pete" (12:53am)
nexus006: What kind of watch is it? (12:53am)
Karen Carpenter: http://bit.ly/1E1BPp3 (12:53am)
Alan B.: That's the difference between a citizen and someone who just does his how. (12:54am)
Alan B.: show. (12:54am)
Alan B.: That's crazy, there is no icthyclaus. (12:54am)
Karen Carpenter: they can have more children (12:54am)
Alan B.: I bet that $12 watch is of the finest quality. (12:54am)
The Phone Company: What's the phone # there? (12:56am)
Alan B.: 415-962-7979 (12:56am)
Alan B.: Four minutes left to pledge your support for the ask Dr. H.A.L. show. Replicants standing by. (12:57am)
Puzzling Evidence: U Staying? (12:58am)
Alan B.: What the actual fuck? (12:58am)
Puzzling Evidence: U Calling In? (12:58am)
Puzzling Evidence: He? (12:58am)
Puzzling Evidence: U? (12:58am)
Alan B.: 12 hour Ask Senor H.A.L. marathon. (12:59am)
Puzzling Evidence: You can't keep a Hal happy... (12:59am)
Alan B.: Cuckold Cocoon Cock (1:00am)
Karen Carpenter: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz (1:00am)
Puzzling Evidence: I'll be right over, then... (1:01am)
Alan B.: NO SLEEP (1:01am)
Puzzling Evidence: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz (1:01am)
Karen Carpenter: oh, yah, I go to work kin 6 hours. (1:01am)
Alan B.: Why is he playing To Anacreon in Heaven. (1:01am)
Alan B.: ? (1:01am)
Puzzling Evidence: Means the parade is a third over, on a sultry Shenandoah Valley afternoon...... (1:01am)
Alan B.: And now, The Best of Robo DJ (1:02am)
Puzzling Evidence: Not so, Meat. (1:02am)
Karen Carpenter: RoboDJ on KrOB (1:02am)
Alan B.: Au revoir, mes amis. (1:07am)

SAVED-- BY AN INTERVIEW
February 20, 2015 10:00pm

 

There bee certaine Cantrips, older than Recorded Time, which emergeth from
the Black Grimoires of the Esoteric. Stones have been known to Move, & Trees to
Speak. All the Operator needeth to do, to make certaine the Work proceedeth Rightly,
is give Utterance to that Realm of Speech which unlocketh the Daemonic Power from
the Spheares. Where Others Listen, the Lesson descendeth, undisturb'd, like unto a
Caul or Mantle over the Soul, as sayeth Eibon in his Booke. So do ye Listen, and thou
shalt bee Verily made Pregnant with the Keys, will-ye, nil-ye. Ia! Shemhamphorash!
And so forth, and so on. Well, things were going swimmingly, heh, heh-- when,
suddenly, we took quite a different direction as nosy newsgirl Justin "Lois" Credible
darted into the room and began to interview Dr. H. Owll all about-- you guessed it-- the
Church of the SubGenius. Wow! Who saw that coming? Had to change course...
She got her "scoop," while Puzzling Evidence, Karen Carpeter and KrOB all
yukked, cackled and roistered.
They had a great time. Will you?

SUCCEDANEUM
February 13, 2015 10:00pm

 

I, Dr. H. Owll, was unavoidably detained, lecturing on Hieronymus Bosch
at Chicken John's megalo-spectacle, The Fallen Cosmos show.
So, Puzzling Evidence, Karen Carpenter of rival RV show Nose Hair Lint
Gland and KrOB swung into action.
Featured was an authentic recording of the entirety of the last live Ask Dr.
Hal! Show at Viracocha in January of 2015.
And then... and then... matters took their course. At length, I dragged
myself in to try to get the program back on track.
Boy, did we go into some overtime.
Although the themes of his work were religious, his choice of symbols to
represent the temptation and eventual ensnarement of Man in earthly evils
caused many early critics to view Bosch as a practitioner of the occult arts.
More recent scholarship views Bosch simply as a talented artist who
possessed a deep insight into human character, and as one of the first to
represent abstract concepts in his work.
Next slide, please.


Chatroom History
February 13, 2015 10:00pm - 1:30am

Alan B.: Hmmm. Is this a rerun after all? (10:25pm)
Alan B.: Adulterated rerun. (10:35pm)
Alan B.: Gotta go. Take it easy, all. (10:56pm)
Grush Godd: This is the last live show at Veri-coacha, weeks ago... (11:21pm)
Alan B.: Back. Jesus. (11:36pm)
Alan B.: I'm dizzy....... (11:38pm)
Alan B.: Wait. Can see the least people!! (11:40pm)
St.Inkfinger: Am I too late (11:48pm)
Alan B.: And without pants (11:50pm)
St.Inkfinger: I'll take a triceritops any day (11:50pm)
St.Inkfinger: How did you know? (11:50pm)
St.Inkfinger: I still have my socks on though (11:51pm)
Alan B.: Rock on wid yur socks on! (11:56pm)
St.Inkfinger: Hmmm (11:57pm)
St.Inkfinger: I'm done rockin' for the night (11:58pm)
St.Inkfinger: froppin' in my socks (12:00am)
brooding noodler : thoughts for foodlin' (12:01am)
St.Inkfinger: usually happens after froppin' (12:02am)
Alan B.: SubGenius? (12:05am)
St.Inkfinger: What else? (12:06am)
St.Inkfinger: since 2000 (12:07am)
St.Inkfinger: We chatted on FB before. (12:08am)
The FBI: Chat Away. (12:14am)
St.Inkfinger: Does it come in a spray bottle? (12:14am)
a robert zemeckis film: starring tom hanks (12:15am)
St.Inkfinger: He's an industry icon (12:16am)
St.Inkfinger: Clint Howard is a master thesbian (12:23am)
The PodCast: is the Show. (12:24am)
St.Inkfinger: one would hope (12:25am)
The PodCast: One must Beelive. (12:30am)
St.Inkfinger: or at least have a passing curiosity. (12:32am)
St.Inkfinger: Wasn't the White Knight talking backwards? (12:34am)
St.Inkfinger: Everybody mambo! (12:59am)
St.Inkfinger: Heimdall (1:04am)
The PodCast: Fuck Gomplaints! (1:08am)
St.Inkfinger: Who's complaining? (1:08am)
The PodCast: Ize Know! (1:09am)
St.Inkfinger: snot eye (1:09am)
a robert zemeckis film: http://bit.ly/177bYit (1:20am)
The PodCast: A Robert Altman Film (1:26am)
The PodCast: What about Me Show? (1:26am)

THE VAMPIRE BAT AND SEX MANIAC
February 6, 2015 10:00pm

 

Plans change, rain falls and the postponement to next week, of the live
show Dr. H. Owll had signed up to be in, left him free--- free to watch monster
movies on his show, brokered by Puzzling Evidence.
And so it was, first The Vampire Bat (1933) with Lionel Atwill, Melvyn
Douglas, Dwight Frye and the haunting Fay Wray among others. Hear our
spontaneous reactions.
Then stay with us as we encounter the far more disjointed and bizarre
Sex Maniac (1934), based on Poe's "The Black Cat" with references to his
"Murders in the Rue Morgue" --also containing numerous gratuitous scenes
of women lounging around in their lingerie.
Outside, the rain fell heavily and strong winds howled.
Inside, we folded into our podcast two strange, compelling films, both
with the persistent subtext of the creation of artificial life.
How rewarding life, and even artificial life, can be...

THIS IS A RECORDING
January 30, 2015 10:00pm

 

Dr. H. Owll could not be in the studio during this episode.
He was in "Chicken" John's huge and confusing specatcle, The Fallen
Cosmos.
(And, next week he'll be in the last two nights of that extravaganza as
well, also unable to be present on Radio Valencia.)
That's when Puzzling Evidence, KrOB and even Pete Goldie stepped
into the breach. Not uttering a word into the microphones, which they seem
to find distasteful, they produced a substitute "radio" show entirely spliced
together from recorded bits of this and that, tag-ends, remnants, outtakes
and trims, various sound effects and music cues-- an inventory from their
ever-present laptops, I-phones and I-pods.
Oh, old Dr. Howll was "on there," just the same, now himself another
recorded snippet. Quite a snippet, too, as we hear. Perhaps you'll enjoy that
selfsame snippet.
Then, hours afterward, footsore and weary (you try to stay on your feet
for three hours explaining The Garden of Earthly Delights to an indifferent,
uninterested crowd of so-called hipsters!), Dr. H. limped into the room,
present and accounted for indeed after making his weary way there from
Chicken's big wing-ding.
So there was a little bit that was "live" at the end.
And what an end, too. The program finally concluded after running way
over! After going on, and on...
Next week: more of the same!

THE DAEMON OF THE FLOWER
January 23, 2015 10:00pm

 

Not as the plants and flowers of Earth, growing peacefully beneath a
simple sun, were the blossoms of the planet Lophai. Coiling and uncoiling
in double dawns; tossing tumultuously under vast suns of jade-green and
balas-ruby orange; swaying and weltering in rich twilights, in aurora-curt-
ained nights, they resembled fields of rooted serpents that dance eternally
to an other-world music.
Strangely enough, even though KrOB and Puzzling Evidence visited
the studio in corporeal, physical form, neither would deign to lend his voice
or commentary to the Show, despite repeated exhortations.
At one point, an incongruous, squealing sound effect was audible in
sudden cry, unneccessarily interpolated into Dr. Howll's presentation, shot
into the mix sportively by KrOB.
But no voice spoke to punctuate this fragmentary violation. And live
recitation from the show host continued, as the only alternative interposed
between the lengthy cascades of recordings, largely documented echoes of
other preserved shows diuturnally dead from earlier cycles.
No extra half hour was required, this time, for this iteration, which ended
at the proper temporal terminus; but had there been listeners, their ears would
have heard the two outliers break the snaky, Mesmeric fascination of their
laptops, seize the microphones and the studio, and, coming into their own,
produce the longed-for hybrid of past, present and future influences, a gift to
lay upon the flower-strewn sacrificial altar of an unknown god.

BLACK SUNDAY, ON FRIDAY AND SATURDAY
January 16, 2015 10:00pm

 

An extra half hour was required for this presentation, in which we finally
reached the long-awaited semi-simulcast of Mario Bava's unearthly horror
film with John "Tumak" Richardson and the supernaturally visaged Barbara
Steele, thanks to a tech assist from visiting Monster of Radio Puzzling Evidence.
It was a bumpy ride getting there, however, as can perhaps be heard...
Visiting studio guest Dr. Penny and companion Kat experienced a "Bob"
-related Epiphany sometime during the event, causing consideable peturbations
in the Noosphere. Or perhaps it was the wine?
For reference consult Coleridge, Samuel T., "Christabel," and Ackerman,
Forrest J. in FAMOUS MONSTERS OF FILMLAND.
Somehow, we got through it all, despite a cacaphony of ranting, mumbling
and cavernous belches. Good vs. Evil-- who really wins?

HE KNOWS ABOUT IT ALL-- HE KNOWS, HE KNOWS!
January 9, 2015 10:00pm

 


The time has come to admit that after more than 2,000 years of back-and forth proofs
and counterproofs, any debate about the existence of God has reached an unsolvable
impasse. Here at Ask Dr. Hal! we have our own approach, a Church of the SubGenius-
brokered, so-called "War on God." Meanwhile, not far away, seething and murderous
fanatics are marshalling their forces to attack the Sunday School Picnic. We include
selections from Negativland's "It's All In Your Head," their new album (which comes
with a FREE Bible)! Omar Khayyam also makes a return appearance. But then, we
descend to almost Absolute Zero Radio, as the substitute Monster Movie precipitates
a calm-- a Dead Calm. Take that journey with us, and have your Reward here, not in
Heaven later.

BIFURCADUCKS AND HEXACATS
January 2, 2015 10:00pm

 


Experiments with mutation in programming and sound formation
have lately been conducted under the aegis of the Church of the
SubGenius. In particular, recent mutants of praxis have included the
double-teaming of the Creature From the Black Lagoon soundtrack
and the juxtaposing of Susumu Yokota's Symbol with archival Ohio
radio achievements. William Blake's Auguries of Innocence first
started us off. Followed live recapitulations from, and converse with
Rusty Rebar; KrOB came in, but he didn't plug in. No one will have
to look at drugs at 8:00 in the morning. It was all a day before the big
show, the one at Viracocha on Saturday night... Well, we broke the
curse, had a good crowd, even made a profit. Hear it here prefigured.

PAT NOVAK, WHITE PONGO AND VENUS BOUND
December 26, 2014 10:00pm

 


We featured the debut of another Pat Novak episode to start off
our last show of the year. Treacherous dames, gangsters and
gunsels, served up in seasoned noir style by the ever-reliable
Pooh-Bah Players. It was a privilege.
Music of dope-smokers. Poetry of Whitman and de la Mare.
SubGenius X-Day reportage in situ from the X-Moment itself,
pantsless.
Then, after a while, we got around to the narration of PRC's "White
Gorilla" (Suit) Epic, White Pongo, starring Buster Crabbe and Julie
London. Encountering this material was of long interest to your
Editor; if the listeners were also diverted, we should find that
outcome agreeable.
Some of First Spaceship on Venus, known in Germany as Der
Schweigende Stern (The Silent Star) and in Poland under the
name Milcz ca Gwiazda, some of this, indeed, was added, but we
then closed up shop, forty minutes overtime.
We'll have to come back and try this another time if we want to
follow what happens when they land on the Morning Star.
Meanwhile, we're counting down to the upcoming live show: ADH at
Viracocha again-- January 3rd!

EXPLORERS OF THE UNKNOWN
December 19, 2014 10:00pm

 


The Siege of Belgrade in the 15th Century was documented by early 19th
Century newsman Alaric Alexander Watts, in his alliterative alphabetical
poem. So we threw that in.
But soon we, my stout companions and I-- we'll go on that diet after the
holidays --were engaged in a unique voyage through the High Frontier of
free-associative flight. Using the latest technical equipment, and also
benefiting from top scientific expert assistance, we iteratively broke
through barriers of standard thought and unimaginative rumination.
Featuring Karen Carpenter, Puzzling Evidence and KrOB.
Meanwhile, we're counting down to the upcoming live show: ADH at
Viracocha again-- January 3rd! Will it be broadcast? The audio will
probably be good...

STANG VS.THE WISTERIA MONSTER
December 12, 2014 10:00pm

 


More tag-ends and remnants from X-Day Drill 2014, that disturbance in
the heart of existence. Join fanatical SubGenius "Savonarola" Stang as,
in desperation, he leads his torch-bearing minions against a creature
more fantastic than the human mind can encompass...
Among the ancient, overgrown trees, dire signs point to the presence of
an unimaginably malevolent force, unconfined, on the loose and ravening
for human blood. But this is no mere monster movie. Recorded on the spot.
Poetry, philosophy and Powers of Pedantry fill up the chinks between
the kinks. Ancillary material by Whitman McGowan, Gregory Peck, the late
Peter Sellers and others. Gags, novelties, Cosmic truths.
We often, in fact, call on a uniquely gifted group of performing ministers,
prophets, teachers and archivists, each the possessor of specific talents,
abilities, knowledge and techniques of the spirit. They present parables
and living examples to wean wee SubGeniuses away from doctrinal error,
credulity, superstition and fanaticism. Right from our studio.
Meanwhile, we're counting down to the upcoming live show: ADH at
Viracocha again-- January 3rd!

SON OF SIMULCAST MADNESS, AVEC "THE MANSTER."
December 5, 2014 10:00pm

 


Another Monster Movie, Lippert Pictures's 1959 oddity The Manster,
serves as the holiday centerpiece for this piquant Reloadio presentation.
With Puzzling Evidence. KrOB visited the studio too. Dr. H. Owll starts
with Keats but soon wallows in the obscurity of long-forgotten Pop
Culture, narrating the clumsy tale of a red-blooded Ugly American who
ultimately rips into two beings, after a lengthy indulgence in protracted
angst. Then, it's into the volcano for the bad one, a hairy and murderous
Pithecanthropus-type.
But the "fun" doesn't stop there, as we then visit a slice of The Evil Brain
from Outer Space before going our separate ways. Single-antenna'd Starman
battles deformed Marpetians ruled by the suitcase-dwelling Brain of Balazar.
With Tervo Ishii, Akira Mitsuwa and Koreyoshi Akasaka. Meanwhile, we're
counting down to the upcoming live show: ADH at Viracocha again--
January 3rd!


BIRTHDAY SHOW, FEATURING "THE HEAD"
November 28, 2014 10:00pm

 


I, Dr. H. Owll, became 64 years old on the day of this show.
The epigraph was Robinson Jeffers's poem, Vulture, a remnant
of the Rev. Baby Bear influence. This program then featured the
entirety of the 1959 German horror film, with commentary by Dr.
Howll, Puzzling Evidence and Pete Goldie, while excited fans
watched and listened at home. When the mysterious, obsessed
Dr. Ood (Horst Frank) arrived at the laboratory of Prof. Abel and
Dr. Burke and volunteered to help the former with his experiments,
the professor was working in some unusual directions, including
keeping the detached head of a dog alive on an operating table for
several days. This process is technically known, among mad
scientists, as Perfusion. Through plot developments, Prof. Abel
awoke from an operation to find himself now a living severed head,
perfused by laboratory apparatus. Dr. Ood next contacted one Irene
Sanders, a hunchbacked nurse and former patient of Dr. Burke's,
and completed his plans to replace her body with that of an
attractive nightclub stripper. Unusually, for movies like this, the
operation was a spectacular success, though some may prefer the
stripper's original head. A mysterious pipe-smoking man also
prominently figures in the plot... Birthday festivities conclude with
a blow-by-blow account of The Day Time Ended (1979), or at least
the good parts.
Again, deranged edits segue into a cascade of echoing glossolaliac
madness, the voicing of lyric ruminations from the free-falling brains
of disintegrating personalities.
Counting down to the upcoming live show: ADH at Viracocha
again-- January 3rd!

PIPE-SMOKER'S RADIO
November 21, 2014 10:00pm

 


A SubGenius Load, with a vengeance.
Deranged edits segue into a cascade of echoing glossolaliac
madness, the voicing of lyric ruminations from the free-falling brains
of disintegrating personalities.
And some people, demented individuals, obsessively record every
word and squealing sound effect. Of course, you may just hate it.
With: Poetry recitations from Dr. Hal and Rev. Baby Bear and a
live studio visit by Puzzling Evidence. More news coverage by Ace
reporter Carol Denney. More of Ivan Stang. And is Too Much, in every
case, always Better Than Not Enough?
Counting down to the upcoming live show: ADH at Viracocha
again-- January 3rd!

SOME OBSERVATIONS ON NATURAL HISTORY
November 14, 2014 10:00pm

 


The Kraken and the Great Sea Serpent make an appearance, along
with Dr. P. Goldie, who provides a review of recent widely-publicized
Space Science experiments. With: Whitman McGowan, Peter Sellers,
Professor Elemental, Rev. Baby Bear, Princess Wei R. Doe and Ivan
Stang. News writing by reporter Carol Denney.
Counting down to the upcoming live show: ADH at Viracocha
again-- January 3rd!

THE BUM WITH TWO HEADS, or, THE INCREDIBLE TWO-HEADED TRANSIENT
November 7, 2014 10:00pm

 


Everyone in my neighborhood these days only looks down at the glowing Distraction Box he or she
carries at all times.
That's why they miss some of the stranger denizens, who used to be only glimpsed making their
stealthy rounds as I took my late-night walks. Now they're out in force, even by day, emboldened, since
nobody can see them. Explained on the show.
In addition, pedantry, poetry, much of Stang and the Gang. Puzzling Evidence sits in, helps make a
crisp ending. Breaking News: ADH at Viracocha again-- January 3rd!

THE OWL CALLS UPON THE NIGHT... ONCE MORE...
October 31, 2014 10:00pm

 


Halloween, and a re-run.
The owl Archimedes, familiar of Merlin the Enchanter, is the Psychopomp who takes us, in the initial reading, to the undiscovered country of Kennaquhair, whose latitude is 91 degrees North and longitude 181 degrees West, the domain and demesne of Athene, Goddess of Wisdom. There we observe the lives of the trees, at thirty years a minute, and then the lives of the rocks at two million years a second. All thanks to Terence Hanbury White.
From the sublime... to elswhere, as we feature St. Andrew the Impaled's telling performance, from X-Day 17, of his lyric, "Low Standards."
Also with Baby Bear, Professor Elemental, Spy Emerson, Rusty Rebar and DJ Female Convict Scorpion ("Bill Cosby Talks to Kids about Drugs").
An a capella rendition, better unremarked and forgotten, emits from Dr. Hal as, tormented, he channels Frank and Nancy Sinatra's "Life's a Trippy Thing" ("Gettin' Stoned on Sunshine").
Then there's the Techie who Looks Through my Windw. What to do?
NEXT WEEK: Mo' Show...

THE LEGEND OF SMITH'S BURST REDUX, WITH PARTY FAVORS
October 24, 2014 10:00pm

 


A special sound mix accompanies Dr. Hal's recorded reading of Brian Aldiss's story
The Legend of Smith's Burst. Then the Studio Gang arrives and (ultimately) finds its way
on to the microphones.
"Doc" Goldie pours the wine, and the evening expannds like a contented stomach.
Electoral prospects are the meat for our well-rounded round-table discussion.
Next week: Re-runsville, since Halloween is too big to be avoided.

THE RUBA'IYAT VS. MICHAEL PEPPE
October 17, 2014 10:00pm

 


"And while the Poem on the Show was read,
Nestled with Music in its new-made Bed,
Then came the jangling Telephone, and, Lo!
'Twas Michael Peppe in the Poem's stead.

"Such Chaos then did Peppe there create,
The Poem fled, and sought another Date,
Perhaps an unborn Broadcast yet to come,
Perhaps to nothingness, if thus its Fate.

"Meanwhile did Puzzling and KrOB come in,
Usurped the Board, and added crazy din
To change the Show, unutterably, and
Tacked on two extra Hours-- or, were they Djinn?

"Ah, me! So often will the Show be turned,
As if by baleful Magic, all aim spurned,
Against the fleeting Dreams of Dr. Hal,
To be a New Thing-- all-too-often learned!"

THE LONG-AGO SEABIRD RISES
October 10, 2014 10:00pm

 

A solitary effort, despie the hovering presence, later on, of Puzzling Evidence in the studio.
Absorbed in his laptop, he never accepted the invitation to come to the microphone.
A mlange of music and poetic fragments, the show also contains a call from a distant fan.
Keep those calls coming, folks!
And the wild wings were raised above her folded head, and the soft feathered voice was
flying through the house as though the she-bird praised. And all the elements of the slow fall
rejoiced, that a man knelt alone in the cup of the vales.

SO WE'LL GO NO MORE A-ROVING
October 3, 2014 10:00pm

 

"She, to whose person paradise adher'd,
As courts to princes; she, whose eyes enspher'd
Star-light enough t' have made the South control,
(Had she been there) the star-full Northern Pole;
She, she is gone; she is gone; when thou knowest this,
What fragmentary rubbish this world is
Thou knowest, and that it is not worth a thought;
He honours it too much that thinks it nought."
--John Donne
As Doktor Reverend Baby Bear wanders far away, among the stars,
Dr. Hal, robot-like, curates a show of SubGenius odds and ends, an
automaton without soul or inspiration.
Some of those bits are pretty funny, though.
No one else is present in the yawning void; no one comes into the
studio to visit, this time.
Except KrOB, at the very, very end.
Next week: more fun!

BABY BEAR... and "THE GANG..."
September 26, 2014 10:00pm

 


Doktor Reverend Baby Bear appears for her final three hours of radio on Dr. Hal's show.
But in come Puzzling Evidence, KrOB and Karen Carpenter of NHLG-- and pretty soon,
they've plugged their Infernal Devices into the board-- and her voice must contend with an
overwhelming wash of sound effects and snarky clips.
Still, as always, she does more than hold her own.
After the show concludes she tries to stay on for the AfterShow, but the Noise Avalanche
roars louder than she cared to prevail against...
Since then, the fans have all weighed in on her favor.
So ends her conquest of Left Coast Bay Area Radio, and whatever "Radio" Valencia is.
And now she's gone.
Some say she'll return, but they say that about Jesus, too, and both returns require an
Apocalypse, don't they?

BABY BEAR, REALLY THERE
September 19, 2014 10:00pm

 

This show, only this show, We are truly more than happy to declare That the Guest with whom this special show we share Is the Reverend Baby Bear. This show, only this show, No one else dropped by to share our bill of fare-- Just one other was there with me on the air-- It was the Reverend Baby Bear. Hear, hear us conversing, Hear us rehearsing For next time; Hear, hear us dispensing All we're condensing On line. This Show, only this show, We are truly more than happy to declare That the Guest with whom this special show we share Is the Reverend Baby Bear.

Chatroom History
September 19, 2014 10:00pm - 1:30am

Dr. Penny: Wow, that really must've been a lot of sawing of wood to build that big ark. (10:05pm)
Dr. Penny: Praise that sweeeeeet name of Bob!!!!!!!!!! (10:07pm)
spy emerson: can't hear her!! (10:12pm)
spy emerson: boyo (10:17pm)
spy emerson: subgenius power (10:18pm)
spy emerson: activate!!!! (10:18pm)
??: Why does he insist on complaining about the internet when that's how his audience actually hears him? (10:19pm)
spy emerson: google glassholes (10:19pm)
spy emerson: skin flute (10:20pm)
spy emerson: sasssafrasssss (10:20pm)
spy emerson: david BOTTOMS? (10:21pm)
Dr. Penny: I hear the show due to slack. (10:22pm)
spy emerson: ooohHHhh ... the girl can poem. sweet. (10:24pm)
spy emerson: i am suffering (10:26pm)
??: Baby Bear is right about that thing abt being their own tormentors/ (10:29pm)
??: she correct to question it. (10:30pm)
Dr. Penny: The head certainly is bloody, especially during period sex. (10:35pm)
spy emerson: blow me. (10:38pm)
spy emerson: HEY!!!! HAL...... (10:41pm)
spy emerson: THE PHONE IS OFF THE HOOK!!!!! (10:41pm)
Observing: He sounds busy. (10:44pm)
spy emerson: hallllllll (10:47pm)
Observing: Perhaps he'll listen to her advice abut that knee. (10:56pm)
Observing: Well, eternallife on this earth is a different thing than eternal life elsewhere, Babay Bear. Hal might inform her of this. Mebbe. He ought to. (11:07pm)
Alan B.: Eternal vampyric life would probably suck, but being a de-balled, lobotomized resident of Jesus' Heaven with my dead Mom and dog would probably rock. (11:13pm)
Alan B.: Sweaty yeti. (11:28pm)
Sesame Street alien: being a lobotomized vampire running around after women like reanimated JFK would at least be entertaining for someone else. (11:34pm)
spy emerson: its busy!!! (11:35pm)
spy emerson: the phone IS OFF THE HOOK!!!!! (11:35pm)
spy emerson: hey, someone else is using my name on here!!! (11:36pm)
spy emerson: imposter (11:36pm)
spy emerson: poser spy (11:36pm)
Spy Imposter: Hey! (11:37pm)
Spy Imposter: Calm down! You now have an imposter, here. Isn't that becalming? (11:43pm)
spy emerson: hal!! can you mention a few things!!?? (11:49pm)
spy emerson: 1. the people's climate march in oakland at lake merit this SUNDAY. lucky and i will be there (11:49pm)
Observing: He seems busy. (11:49pm)
spy emerson: and also... i have an indiegogo campaign for the hook-up truck (11:50pm)
spy emerson: HEY HAL!! (11:50pm)
spy emerson: yes i did! (11:53pm)
spy emerson: i dis (11:54pm)
spy emerson: cause its BUSY (11:54pm)
spy emerson: do it baby bear!! (11:54pm)
spy emerson: yes (11:55pm)
Spy Emerson: be sure to throw your money away on my kcikstarter (11:55pm)
Spy Emerson: ' cause there's nothing like a joke without a punchline (11:55pm)
Spy Emerson: Hey can you hear me? I'm on the radio plugging shit so people look at me! (11:56pm)
Observing: Ah, she's managed to get through the distractions. (11:57pm)
spy emerson: Hey, there's another imposter using my name (11:58pm)
Alan B.: Slander! (11:59pm)
Alan B.: Give a fuck in the Fuck Truck. (12:00am)
vj pussycat: Don't call it that (12:01am)
spy emerson: bully on the chat box (12:01am)
spy emerson: a powerless little nerd (12:02am)
vj pussycat: Will the real spy emerson please stand up (12:02am)
spy emerson: that me (12:03am)
spy emerson: be (12:03am)
spy emerson: I'm an ARTIST! (12:03am)
spy emerson: thats the bully (12:03am)
vj pussycat: Where? (12:04am)
spy emerson: there! (12:04am)
vj pussycat: The one sitting down (12:04am)
spy emerson: if you shoot, you might hit the wrong one (12:05am)
vj pussycat: I think the bully is gone (12:05am)
Alan B.: Pime Taradox (12:06am)
vj pussycat: Existential isn't it (12:07am)
spy emerson: the bully is posting as me. not gone. (12:08am)
spy emerson: I'm going back to when people cared about The Hookup Truck (12:08am)
spy emerson: you are a mean person (12:08am)
spy emerson: obviously you have nothing yourself going on (12:08am)
spy emerson: so you pose as me and say mean things (12:08am)
??: What's so "bullying" about calling it a "Fuck Truck" ? Maybe that was intended as a positive. (12:09am)
spy emerson: I decide what is mean and that's art too (12:09am)
??: Oh, that makes a lot of sense. (12:10am)
vj pussycat: I always liked that name for it. Spy expressed it not be called that. (12:10am)
spy emerson: IM LOGGING OFF!! GOODBYE fucking asshole bully posing as me. (12:10am)
??: I didn;t call it that, but it seemed complimentary to me. (12:11am)
Alan B.: It was said with tolerance. (12:11am)
??: Right, exactly. (12:11am)
vj pussycat: Is ?? The bully? (12:11am)
spy emerson: SOMEONE IS POSTING AS ME, SPY EMERSON (12:11am)
??: I didn;t call it a "Fuck Truck" initially, I was repeating the comment. (12:11am)
spy emerson: THEY ARE BIENG VERY MEAN (12:12am)
spy emerson: fuck truck is totally fine. (12:12am)
Alan B.: I promise you that I'm an asshole but only under this abbreviated name, and not at Ms. Emerson's expense. (12:12am)
spy emerson: posing as me is not ok. (12:12am)
??: Which are you saying is mean, the posing or the "fuck Truck" matter? (12:12am)
vj pussycat: Cool. I like it better. Probably not as marketable tho (12:12am)
spy emerson: posting under my name is mean (12:12am)
??: Yes, well, that does seem to have stopped, unless you are the imposter. (12:13am)
Alan B.: I have other thoughts about what kinds of statements are mean . . . less said the better. (12:13am)
spy emerson: marketing is art too (12:13am)
spy emerson: THATS THE POSER (12:13am)
??: the one who said marketing? (12:13am)
spy emerson: THERE! (12:13am)
??: well, the name of the truck was more interesting, however; what is the name of the vehicle? (12:14am)
??: I am not posing as spy emerson, I am ?? (12:15am)
Puce schag on a sausge fest: Stop being mean! (12:15am)
vj pussycat: Yea Hal's right. Don't look at the chat (12:16am)
Copy"Bob": Operation: Cancel All Counterfeit Spys Commence (12:16am)
Puce schlag: Organizing "Sausage Fest 2014" (12:17am)
??: So, everyone give Spy Emerson validation. Go ahead. Hurry. She's upset. (12:17am)
??: Okay, I will do it: she has a vehicle that is not called a "Fuck Truck" but something more savory... what is it called? (12:18am)
??: Anyone? Okay, I will look it up to be certain. (12:20am)
Love Lorry: Am I the right answer? (12:20am)
??: She has obtained some notariety with a concept and, I believe, and actual vehicle, called "The Hook-Up Truck".. so... so... (12:21am)
??: So Fathom the Conecpt. (12:21am)
??: COncept. (12:21am)
STD Shack: I am certainly not the answer. (12:23am)
??: I mean, you know, Grasp the Idea. The Hook-Up Truck. Got it? (12:24am)
??: STD Shack? No, this thing is on wheeels, apparently, and run by petroleum products, but it's okay in this case. (12:24am)
??: It is no shack, it's a motor vehicle of some kind. (12:25am)
Connubial Carryall: This is a stretch. (12:26am)
??: (If you ask me, it's some manner of Truck... (12:26am)
??: That's oretty good, though. Connubial Carryall. (12:26am)
??: That made me laugh. (12:26am)
Fornication Flatbed: How about this one? (12:27am)
vj pussycat: Ooh good one ff (12:27am)
??: But now you're being "mean" so "lay off"... (12:27am)
??: That's not bad, either. (12:27am)
Wet-Spot Wagon: Now, this is geting silly. (12:28am)
??: Fornication Flatbed, ha ha. SOrry, but it's funny. Its just another way of plugging this Hook_uP Truck business, if only it might be seen that way. (12:28am)
vj pussycat: Lotion in motion (12:29am)
??: At least no one is calling it The Syphilis Cycle (12:29am)
vj pussycat: Haha (12:29am)
Johnny Potsmoker: That's excellent. (12:30am)
??: Gonerrhea Gogart would also be entirely inapropriate in plugging the thing. (12:30am)
vj pussycat: Stop it (12:30am)
??: GoCart, that is... (12:30am)
Exploitation Express: Said with love. LOVE. (12:31am)
??: Yes, LOVE (12:32am)
vj pussycat: Hal, did you go to sleep? Come back Hal! (12:32am)
??: LOVE, but she will not see it. (12:32am)
vj pussycat: Sexpress (12:33am)
??: Sexpress sounds like public transport. (12:33am)
Dr. Penny: Bob's slack is so great, he can't experience pain or distress. (12:33am)
Logorrhea Cha Cha Cha: But what are words for, if no one listens anymore? (12:34am)
vj pussycat: Pubic transport (12:34am)
Dr. Penny: Word, on public transit. (12:34am)
??: Pubic Transport, that's pretty good. (12:34am)
Dr. Penny: Those sperm sure get around. (12:35am)
Johnny Potsmoker: Agreed, that's sweet. And who can be unhappy when Peter Sellers is impersonating Jimmy Durante? (12:35am)
??: I guess ther is also the reknowned Metrosexual. (12:37am)
vj pussycat: Nah. Doesn't sound mobile (12:37am)
??: The New York Municipal Rubway. (12:37am)
Johnny Potsmoker: Tryst Trolly (12:37am)
Johnny Potsmoker: And if you go by yourself: Onanism Omnibus (12:38am)
vj pussycat: Sexportation (12:39am)
vj pussycat: Service (12:39am)
Dr. Penny: He said climactic. (12:39am)
??: Disney has, of course, The... Monorail (12:39am)
Johnny Potsmoker: MONORAIL! I LOVE IT! (12:40am)
??: Hal, we are making jokes, here, be fair. Are we complaining? (12:40am)
Dr. Penny: No need for a monorail when there in a two fisted tail. (12:40am)
Johnny Potsmoker: Let the beluga foreskin claim you, Baby Bear. (12:40am)
??: WHo is complaining? well, someone was complaining, true, but most of us are merely cracking jokes. (12:41am)
Johnny Potsmoker: That's easy: Logorrhea (12:41am)
vj pussycat: I was being serious ?? (12:41am)
Alan B.: I would never complain about show. (12:42am)
vj pussycat: Nor would I (12:43am)
Dr. Penny: More show good. (12:43am)
??: Someone ws complaining, true, and we all know who it was... the remainder were making harmless wise-cracks. Gosh. (12:43am)
Alan B.: How much could you get for the beluga foreskin couch? (12:44am)
Golddiggers of 2014: Brother, can you spare a dime? (12:45am)
Dr. Penny: Just hit the cervics big. (12:46am)
??: I feel ashamed for merely beng here. What on Earth am I doing here? Like a previous, actual complainer, I am signing off. My goodness. (12:46am)
So long, ma, : I'm off to join the cervix. (12:51am)

THE OWL THAT CALLS UPON THE NIGHT
September 12, 2014 10:00pm

 

The owl Archimedes, familiar of Merlin the Enchanter, is the Psychopomp who takes us, in the initial reading, to the undiscovered country of Kennaquhair, whose latitude is 91 degrees North and longitude 181 degrees West, the domain and demesne of Athene, Goddess of Wisdom. There we observe the lives of the trees, at thirty years a minute, and then the lives of the rocks at two million years a second. All thanks to Terence Hanbury White. From the sublime... to elswhere, as we feature St. Andrew the Impaled's telling performance, from X-Day 17, of his lyric, "Low Standards." Also with Baby Bear, Professor Elemental, Spy Emerson, Rusty Rebar and DJ Female Convict Scorpion ("Bill Cosby Talks to Kids about Drugs"). An a capella rendition, better unremarked and forgotten, emits from Dr. Hal as, tormented, he channels Frank and Nancy Sinatra's "Life's a Trippy Thing" ("Gettin' Stoned on Sunshine"). Then there's the Techie who Looks Through my Windw. What to do? Next Week-- Baby Bear LIVE!

Chatroom History
September 12, 2014 10:00pm - 1:30am

earl: HAL, You are thinking of Will Smith (11:25pm)
Earl the Almost Imperfect: God give me.. strength! (11:26pm)
Earl the Almost Imperfect: But Sinatra was a tremendous drinker! (11:42pm)
Earl the Almost Imperfect: Except for ME-EEEEEEEEEE (11:47pm)
Earl the Almost Imperfect: Hey, it's really great to be here. (11:49pm)
Earl: This is confusing, whether contributions in this box or on the phone are of any importance to those participating in the studio. I shall go and contemplate this! Sayonaras! (12:10am)
What is this?: Yes pie (12:22am)
What is this?: I love pie (12:22am)
SPY: I need pie (12:23am)
SPY: I want pie (12:24am)
SPY: SPY (12:24am)
SPY: $PY (12:24am)
SPY: SPY PIE (12:25am)
$PY: This too... (12:25am)
$PY: blackberry (12:26am)
$PY: SEX CRUMB PIE (12:27am)
$PY: I WROTE IT! (12:28am)
$PY EMERSON: The faker.. (12:29am)
Dr Hal: Me too (12:29am)
SPY: Roofie Spy Pie (12:30am)
Pie: in the fickin' Spy Sky (12:30am)
Dr Hal : Must push button, must eat pie of Spy (12:31am)
$PY EMERSON: Pie for everyone! (12:31am)
$PY EMERSON: Pie for me (12:33am)
Kirk: Spock Pie (12:33am)
Cable: I've been put out (12:33am)
Cafe: This! (12:34am)
Hal: can't stand not being center of 'tension (12:35am)
And: Hal loves to watch (12:36am)
Earl: HAL< just put up an unsightly picture facing this neighbor you're complaining about. (12:36am)
Earl: Like a big drawing of an atomic explosion that you've crafed to look unpleasant. (12:36am)
Angst: is so prevalent (12:37am)
Craf: is the present of crafed (12:39am)
Earl: on the phone (12:40am)
Show: this is much better than the murderer discussion (12:40am)
God: Time for the naked Spy (12:41am)
Not: his idea of, he did not produce those films (12:45am)
$PY EMERSON: Time for naked god (12:45am)
Not: more than 1 dollar to get in thaetre (12:46am)
Not even SPY: Nope (12:51am)
$PY EMERSON: Not $PY (12:51am)
$PY EMERSON: Cool start rek sounds (12:51am)
Not even SPY: Hal Hal Hal (12:51am)
Not even SPY: How do I get super cool art babes to like me? (12:51am)
Not even SPY: I like thems.. (12:52am)
Try: being your self (12:54am)
Spy : left out on the cold (12:54am)
Not even SPY: This never works... (12:54am)
Not even SPY: Except for that one time...;) (12:55am)
Not even SPY: Always can (12:55am)
Anyone: can (12:55am)
Spy Emerson: I wanted to everyone to fully understand that my love of Jerry Lewis knows no boundaries. Jerry! Thank you. (12:55am)
Radio: is, save when it snot (12:56am)
Spy Emerson: loves Jeryy (12:56am)
Not even SPY: Noooooooo!.... (12:58am)
Spy Emerson Also: I know it's like me and Jerry sittin' in a tree (12:58am)
Some Kinda Spy: this is not broadcast, nor narrow, nor airie at all (12:59am)
Not even SPY: So many SPY's (12:59am)
Spy Emerson Also: K. I. S. S. I. N. G. (12:59am)
Not even SPY: Ready (12:59am)
Some Kinda Spy: and set (1:00am)
Spy Emerson Also: Smooching like crazy, me and JERRY!!! Yum. (1:00am)
Thank God: That's over (1:00am)
Not even SPY: I like kissing. (1:00am)
Hm: Gee, it sounds as if she especially likes kissing Jerry, huh? (1:01am)
Not even SPY: What's next? (1:01am)
RoboDJ: rules (1:01am)
Hm: Does she mean Jerry Lewis? Wow. Ok, night! Have fun with that. (1:01am)
RoboDJ: rules (1:02am)
Come over: And get me stoned .! (1:02am)
Kimona My House: stunned....we was stunned (1:03am)
SUre.: About what (1:06am)
Kimona My House: bout mo sho (1:14am)

SATISFIED WITH LIFE
September 5, 2014 10:00pm

 

Recovering from desperation and dessication in the Desert, Dr. Hal springs back to life in his first post-Burning Man radio show. Featured: after "The Owl and the Vulture," a poetick rumination, the ADH show debuts the third of the Pooh-Bah Players's Pat Novak for Hire radio detective series, "Ruben Calloway's Pictures." Hour of Slack No. 1477 excerpts provide post-14-X-Day ruminations. Whitman McGowan chimes in with "Bobs" from his Caught in the Act CD; we also hear "Hypatia" by Italo Calvino, from the Dr. Fiasco-produced Invisible Cities of Italo Calvino CD, performed by Dr. H. Owll. Another vulturine poem, the sublime "Under the Vulture Tree," by David Bottoms, precedes Whitman's "Unconfirmed Report" and "Be Nowhere Now," both from Caught in the Act. And Dr. Hal provides an a capella performance of "[Then I Know that I'd be] Satisfied with Life." KrOB, a drop-in visitor, helps round off the show with his usual technical finesse. No vultures were harmed during the making of this program.

Chatroom History
September 5, 2014 10:00pm - 1:30am

DrPantzFunkley: hooray (10:14pm)
DrPantzFunkley: join me in st louis for free drinks this hot september (10:14pm)
DrPantzFunkley: damn that was badass dame (10:26pm)
DrPantzFunkley: good evening dr hal, glad you are back! (10:29pm)
DrPantzFunkley: how was burning man? sorry i missed the first 15 minutes of the show (10:29pm)
DrPantzFunkley: =] (10:38pm)
DrPantzFunkley: yikes (10:38pm)
earl: okay DON'T stick up yout thumb. Gee, you're dumb." (10:41pm)
earl: Stang has taste regarding that ripped dress in King Dinosaur.. Good for him. (10:49pm)
earl: Oh, Hal, what did you ever hide under the seat while seeing? (10:53pm)
DrPantzFunkley: i'm here for you Hal - it was a hard week at the office and this is my favorite entertainment (11:03pm)
DrPantzFunkley: Long Live Radio (11:03pm)
DrPantzFunkley: indeed! RV is the best (11:04pm)
DrPantzFunkley: =[ (11:19pm)
DrPantzFunkley: well that's a bummer (11:19pm)
DrPantzFunkley: hah! (11:19pm)
DrPantzFunkley: they posted the exact stream in the #subgenius chat at Taphouse (11:20pm)
DrPantzFunkley: it might be up to 8 listeners =] (11:20pm)
DrPantzFunkley: have you been to almost all of them? (11:53pm)
DrPantzFunkley: haha (12:03am)
DrPantzFunkley: jack lord have mercy (12:03am)
DrPantzFunkley: hi krob (12:04am)
nexus006: Kroooob! (12:04am)
DJ MEOW: YAAAA Krob!! (12:05am)
Sesame Street alien: quien es mas macho (12:06am)
DrPantzFunkley: woohoo (12:07am)
DrPantzFunkley: DJ Meow (12:07am)
DrPantzFunkley: happy saturday (12:07am)
DJ MEOW: Oh ya!! (12:07am)
DrPantzFunkley: =] (12:08am)
Alan B.: Hung Dong Phooey (12:09am)
Alan B.: All Tomorrow's Particles (12:10am)
Alan B.: Planet of the Grape Ape (12:11am)
Alan B.: Grab a brew. Don't cost nothin'. (12:12am)
Alan B.: Mock out with your cloaca out. (12:12am)
Alan B.: Would the last FCC agent to leave please turn out the lights? (12:13am)
Alan B.: Russian hands and Roman fingers. (12:13am)
malderor: text (12:16am)
Alan B.: The Muddy Mudskipper Show! (12:16am)
Alan B.: Wilcommen to Boning Man. (12:17am)
malderor: man, the chatterbox sucks (12:17am)
malderor: how far (12:17am)
malderor: is it (12:17am)
malderor: from (12:17am)
malderor: finland (12:17am)
malderor: to (12:17am)
malderor: russia? (12:17am)
Alan B.: Any Russian will tell you Finland is already in Russia. (12:17am)
malderor: heh (12:18am)
Alan B.: Larry Harvey was a fag! He was too, you boys! One time I hung two-way mirrors in his pad in Brentwood. Came to the door in a dress. (12:19am)
malderor: what do the finns say? (12:19am)
malderor: the hell he was. (12:19am)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/1lGJinp (12:20am)
Alan B.: Skeeters (1993) Trailer http://bit.ly/1lGJqDf (12:21am)
Alan B.: All loser cast (12:22am)
Alan B.: Spiders Movie Trailer (2013) http://bit.ly/1lGJz9S (12:23am)
Alan B.: Benefit - If I Owned a Midget [HD] http://bit.ly/1lGJKly (12:25am)
Alan B.: Alpha and Omega (12:25am)
Alan B.: They'll do anything for fifty bucks. http://bit.ly/1lGJSl0 (12:27am)
Alan B.: Bringing peace and understandign to the coloreds, or whatever. (12:28am)
Alan B.: Miss Collagen (12:29am)
Alan B.: Mary-Jane Rottencrotch (12:29am)
Alan B.: Never give up! http://bit.ly/1lGK6bS (12:31am)
Alan B.: S.I.B. http://bit.ly/1lGK8R5 (12:32am)
Alan B.: Pure energy http://bit.ly/1lGKiI8 (12:34am)
Alan B.: Procter & Gamble Mr Clean Commercial 1958 http://bit.ly/1lGKQxs (12:38am)
Alan B.: Banned Cartoons NTSC http://bit.ly/1lGL33H (12:40am)
Alan B.: There's no prob with "Fob." (12:46am)
Alan B.: Why Am I Mr. Pink? - Reservoir Dogs http://bit.ly/1lGLMlD (12:47am)
Alan B.: The Last Projector Changeover - STRAND Theatre, Ocean City, NJ 9/5/1988 http://bit.ly/1lGLWt5 (12:49am)
Alan B.: Thank you, Dr. Hal and KrOB. Have a good week. (12:51am)
Alan B.: Engage! (12:55am)

SO SAY WE ALL
August 29, 2014 10:00pm

 

Dr. Hal is still on the Kobol playa learning the truth of the opera house, and Sherilyn Connelly, KrOB, Puzzling Evidence, and Pete Goldie are trapped in San Francisco due to an Icelandic volcano erupting inside BART. Meanwhile, Venus Flytrap can't think of the word "poi," and Johnny Fever just wants to get blazed back in his Winnie.



Chatroom History
August 29, 2014 10:00pm - 1:30am

DrPantzFunkley: what's going on (11:10pm)
DrPantzFunkley: woohoo - who's there (11:10pm)
DrPantzFunkley: Oddesy was the bomb (11:10pm)
DrPantzFunkley: there was a space game I used to play on a friends oddesy but can't remember any of the names or anything (11:11pm)
Sesame Street alien: so it's nineteen eighty what, two? (11:19pm)
DrPantzFunkley: good question, that's probably right (11:23pm)
DrPantzFunkley: `moon knight was cool (11:29pm)
DrPantzFunkley: at least had a cool costume (11:30pm)
DrPantzFunkley: is that KRob in the house? (11:31pm)
DrPantzFunkley: night fellas, thanks for the delectable audibles (11:46pm)
Sesame Street alien: The ten thousand things, / How long do any persist? / lol stupid TV (11:49pm)
Alan B.: Is this the Boning Man simulcast? (11:52pm)
Alan B.: Energy dense and protien-filled. (11:55pm)
Alan B.: Devolved (11:56pm)
Alan B.: from watching Twilight Zone (11:56pm)
Alan B.: to watching game shows. (11:56pm)
Alan B.: DEVO was right. (11:57pm)
Alan B.: Show me CUM! (11:57pm)
Alan B.: O, Heavenly Dog! (12:00am)
Alan B.: The film stars Benjean, billed here as Benji, Chevy Chase, Jane Seymour and Omar Sharif. (12:01am)
Alan B.: Here's Uncle Joe, he's a movin' kinda slow at the Junction. (12:01am)
Alan B.: Bababooey. (12:02am)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/VWUNKX (12:03am)
Alan B.: A lie. (12:04am)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/VWV40D (12:06am)
Alan B.: Keep. It. TOGETHER! (12:06am)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/1vL2V21 (12:10am)
Alan B.: It will be like the end of "It's a Wonderful Life." (12:16am)
Alan B.: Daddy, teacher says, (12:17am)
Alan B.: every tiem (12:17am)
Alan B.: you drop (12:17am)
Alan B.: a Whip-It (12:17am)
Alan B.: cannister, an (12:17am)
Alan B.: angel gets its wings. (12:17am)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/VWW8l3 (12:18am)
Alan B.: The corner of Police and Eat Streets (12:22am)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/VWWwjD (12:24am)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/VWWMPC (12:27am)
Alan B.: And the French. (12:28am)
Alan B.: Sacre bleu. (1:00am)
Alan B.: The brown note. (1:02am)

CIVIC TV: THE ONE YOU TAKE TO BED WITH YOU
August 22, 2014 10:00pm

 

Hal was off being tortured by the Master for failing as Torgo, so Sherilyn Connelly, KroB, Puzzling Evidence, and eventually Pete Goldie dive into the Videodrome. The tone of the hallucinations is determined by the tone of the tape's imagery, and it just keeps going.


Chatroom History
August 22, 2014 10:00pm - 4:30am

nobodyouwantoknow: You blasphemous SubGenii must convert to Islam this very instant or I will decapitate every last one of you infidel puppies. (10:17pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Especially Mikey Peppy and Momma Joe Poppa and Puddling Evidence (10:19pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: K-Rob gets it first for being so damned scary. We will spare that mealy-mouth apologist Dr Hal for the time being. (10:26pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: All of you ( male, female or LBGWhatever ) will undergo genital mutilation before webehead your craniums. (10:30pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: If you don't have genitalia, we will desecrate your rectal orifice. If you do not possess such a ole, we will generate a generic saidsuch for you. (10:32pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: ole = hole in anglo-arabic (10:33pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: ole means something else in espagnole. Go figure. Then go disfigure yourself. Or else, we will decapitate you anyway, Muslim or not, you running puppies. Wimps. Sissies. Cowards. What's the matter, kitty got your tongue? (10:38pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: And if you're a judaic semite, we will circumcize you again, twice or even thrice, even if you do convert to the glory of All**. (10:43pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Before we behead you anyway... (10:43pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: And tyhat goes triple for you Mormons. (10:43pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: take tyhat ! and tyhat ! (10:44pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: BTW : that journalist we beheaded actually was a mannequin, suckas ! (10:46pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Stop The Show ! I want to get off ! (10:49pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: What fascinating drivel ! How do you do it ? (11:20pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Tonite's "Show" has hugely enhanced my auto-erotic asphyxiation. Thank you ! (11:21pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Tonite's "Show" has hugely enhanced my auto-erotic ass-fixation ! Thank you ! (11:22pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: On behalf of Robin Williams, I thank you again... please untie the know now, please... Please ? Somebody help me, please ! Gurgle... (11:24pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: know = know... cain't your thilly word-processor type write? (11:24pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: know = know... cain't your thilly word-pwothessor type white? (11:25pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: know = knot dammit (11:25pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: that's better, dammit anyway... (11:25pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: apparently you agree with me, or else you don't understand a word I'm writing (11:26pm)
Animal Motivation Speech: I, here on the sidelines, have no clue. (11:35pm)

OSSIFRAGA SVAVIVM MEVM EST
August 15, 2014 10:00pm

 

Dedicated to Vulture Goddess Nekhbet, this episode flies on broad pinions through poetry to archival japery. Spy Emerson, Sarah Szczechowicz Goldie and Puzzling Evidence (the latter unheard, but present) take up temporary residence in the Studio, while the action at Bruno's down below registers as boiling hot. Past, future and present impossible worlds that never were are featured. Music of Susumu Yokota, Alyssa B. Osborne and the Andrews Sisters with Bing Crosby, among others. Nekhbet, great one, Goddess of the Upper Kingdom, have favor upon your humble supplicant and make the desire of his heart come into being. Feast on the liver of my doubts and fears; let me love unselfishly in the shelter of your wings. With Wadjet thy Companion, I beseech thy mercy as well, O other Netby, She of the Two Ladies! Without thy help my soul will be devoured, Noble Ones. In art, Nekhbet was depicted as a vulture, according to some a Griffon Vulture (Gyps fulvus), though Arielle P. Kozloff opines that the Vultures seen in New Kingdom art images, better resemble the blue-tipped beaked, loose skinned Nubian Lappet-Faced Vulture (Torgos tracheliotos)... This show is also for one of the Muu, the lovely priestess in her robe of Egyptian vulture feathers. We hope she likes it. And now, into the broiling Desert for the next two or three shows... Again, this Show is followed by Puzzling Evidentiary K-Robbery of indefinite length.

THE PRODUCTIONS OF TIME
August 8, 2014 10:00pm

 

Poetry of Dylan Thomas, Alyssa Osborne and Hal Robins. Radio Synesthesia post-X-Day excerpt, courtesy of WCSB Cleveland, with Bucky Sinister, Ivan Stang, Dr. H. Owll, Princess Wei R. Doe and Lonesome Cowboy Dave. In-studio guests Puzzling Evidence and Earl Yazel dip their toes in the surrounding culture and, in a play-by-play interchange with Dr. Howland Owll, decide that they're still not quite ready for total immersion. Dr. Strangelove performs "She Loves You," Peter Sellers talks with the Beatles, and an excerpt from The Memoirs of Lord Badminton. "Kemah" from Churches Burn's Into the Briar Patch once again (by request) featuring the vocals of A. Osborne. More of Bill Cosby Talks to Kids About Drugs from DJ Female Convict Scorpion, released 05 November 2013. Sinister intimations of Burning Man in the desert. Not for the uninitiated. Show is followed by Puzzling Evidentiary K-Robbery of indefinite length.

A CLUTCH OF CULTURES
August 2, 2014 12:00am

 

WAITING TO HATCH are all the Eggs we've put in one Basket, or, rather, a safe, protected Nest, high in the rocking branches of a solitary Tree. But when the bough breaks... Enjoy this feature while available.

FOWL WING UPON X-DAY
July 25, 2014 10:00pm

 

First various poems begin a broad-spectrum presentation with an eye on recent X-Day in the rear-view mirror. The program
then features a ravishing rant from the Wisteria stage by SubGenius SuperStarlet Rev. Baby Bear, whose voice also thrills in a
musical highlight from Churches Burn.
Studio visitors include GirlFriday Spy Emerson, quondam radio magister Dr. Fiasco and Jeff the Wayfarer.
A later feature heard on the show is one of Dr. Hal's first recitations, recorded in 1957, with one from 1960 as a follow-up.
A Nosegay of Esoteric Archival Material. Not for the uninitiated. Thanks are also due to Ivan Stang, Princess Wei R. Doe,
Reverend Bucky Sinister and WCSB in Cleveland, Ohio.

Chatroom History
July 25, 2014 10:00pm - 1:30am

Alan B.: Howdy, Hal1 (10:04pm)
Alan B.: ! (10:04pm)
nexus006: Hey, it's Dr Hal! (10:07pm)
Alan B.: The poems are especially nice this evening. (10:07pm)
Alan B.: Ours is an educational mission. (10:09pm)
Alan B.: It's like a jungle sometimes (10:09pm)
Alan B.: It makes me wonder (10:09pm)
Alan B.: How (10:10pm)
Alan B.: I keep (10:10pm)
Alan B.: from going under. (10:10pm)
nexus006: But shouldn't you be on doing your part with the fundraiser along with your fans? (10:10pm)
Alan B.: Hex Dei. (10:10pm)
Alan B.: Rev. Baby Bear hits this one out of the park. (10:11pm)
spy emerson: hey (10:11pm)
Alan B.: Well, the old farts do help keep the tents warm. (10:15pm)
Alan B.: His pipe and his grin shall lead me. (10:22pm)
Alan B.: "Bob" is "boB" spelled with quotation marks. (10:23pm)
Alan B.: 13013 (10:24pm)
nexus006: Hi Spy (10:24pm)
Alan B.: Simulated Conelrad Alert (Spring 1962) http://bit.ly/UzU0yQ (10:26pm)
Alan B.: May the Farce be with you. (10:54pm)
Alan B.: Bon soir. (11:14pm)
vj pussycat: hi y'all (11:49pm)
vj pussycat: kiko, what would the theme of todd solundz' comedy be? (11:50pm)
vj pussycat: it smelled just like a sweaty yoga class (11:51pm)
vj pussycat: the mediation he led (11:51pm)
vj pussycat: meditation (11:52pm)
Sesame Street alien: Better Lego movie: von Trier or Cronenberg? (11:53pm)
vj pussycat: cronenberg (11:53pm)
vj pussycat: no doubt (11:53pm)
vj pussycat: only one person should talk at a time (11:55pm)
Sesame Street alien: Thought the definitive answer was Chesterfields. (12:04am)
Karen Carpenter: thank "bob" the Dr Fiasco Reign of Terror has ENDED! (12:14am)
Karen Carpenter: listener redeucation camps (12:16am)
e_yazel: it should shock noone to hear this so called "scolding" on the recording... in this case it was undoubtedly well-meant and even a positive thing (12:38am)
e_yazel: andit undoubtedly sounded harsher than intended by his grandfather. (12:39am)
e_yazel: oh, was he that bad, honestly? hitting? well, that is too bad. (12:40am)
e_yazel: now it's difficult toknow what to make of it. forgive my own comments, then! (12:42am)
nexus006: I'm stepping into the time transference portal....or is it just the hot tub (12:44am)
Karen Carpenter: everyone on Facebook is talking about Dr Fiasco (12:46am)
Karen Carpenter: dead air check board (1:03am)
vj pussycat: they are not reading this (1:04am)
vj pussycat: your mics are not working (1:04am)
vj pussycat: fet talker (1:05am)

Picking Up the Pieces
July 18, 2014 10:00pm

 

Dr. Hal returned to a San Francisco utterly destroyed by a summer of CGI action films. No one really cared about the destruction, because for a brief moment, things didn't get more expensive.


Chatroom History
July 18, 2014 10:00pm - 5:30am

Sesame Street alien: Thought it was Nate Eagle. (10:31pm)
Sesame Street alien: Nate Silver? The fivethirtyeight guy? (10:31pm)
vj pussycat: Where's the new house? (11:27pm)
shinpath: Light up my brain (12:02am)
shinpath: ahh a paso doble (12:02am)
shinpath: Ramon y ramon (12:03am)
shinpath: Elvis is everybody (12:03am)
shinpath: Elvis is everything (12:03am)
shinpath: Elvis is everyone (12:03am)
shinpath: and Elvis is still the KING (12:04am)
Alan B.: Boo! (12:13am)
Alan B.: Hi, vj pussycat! Hi, Hal! (12:14am)
michael j fox: i got no elvis in me.... (12:14am)
Alan B.: "Bob!" (12:14am)
Alan B.: Hi, KrOB! Hi, "Pete!" (12:16am)
Alan B.: Hey! No talking in the background! (12:17am)
Alan B.: "Why is someone talking in the background?" (12:17am)
Alan B.: The Ask Dr. Hal Show: "Get down on your knees!" (12:18am)
Alan B.: "Per capita in yer assita." (12:21am)
Alan B.: "Hi, Oblivion! How's the wife and kids?!" (12:22am)
Alan B.: If I could call in, I would ask: "Was Dr. Hal disappointed when the X-ists failed to show for a 17th striaght year?" (12:23am)
Alan B.: Take my reloadio! (12:24am)
Alan B.: Put down the laptop! (12:25am)
vj pussycat: hi alan b (12:25am)
vj pussycat: welcome back dr hal (12:27am)
Alan B.: I had to pee, so I got up. (12:34am)
Alan B.: (I donated $35 to the Church in Dr. Hal's name, but that's okay . . . " (12:34am)
Alan B.: Okay, I'll send RV another check. (12:35am)
Alan B.: Wait, say that again, slower. . . (12:39am)
Alan B.: Wait, say THAT again, slower. (12:42am)
Alan B.: Reloadio secrets . . . (12:44am)
e_yazel: of course, this is the hidden pretext of Taxi Driver, that he is in a Faustian hell, but in the heart of mid-70s Manhattan! (12:45am)
Alan B.: Those are worthy, ritual answers and the effort will be compensated, as we tithe to the true church for answers we already know. (12:46am)
e_yazel: everyone will be on facebook when "it" happens (12:46am)
Alan B.: Thanks, fellows! (12:47am)
Alan B.: Hi, Earl! (12:47am)
Alan B.: Since I'm always on Facebook, that's a good bet. (12:48am)
Alan B.: I just got up at 3 a.m., that's my best material given the circumstances. (12:48am)
e_yazel: tell 'em about that Roman Popery Latin, Hal!!!!! (12:59am)
e_yazel: you tell em (12:59am)
Alan B.: Au revoir. (1:03am)
e_yazel: Boz Scaggs.. ha ha ha... (1:03am)
e_yazel: he's the litmus of annoying popular "cool" culture to Hal.... (1:04am)
e_yazel: you mentioned Boz Scaggs during the sign0off!!! (1:06am)
e_yazel: 'during the anthem!!! (1:07am)
vj pussycat: is this storytellers? (1:07am)
Alan B.: Lido . . . whoa, woah, woah. (1:07am)
vj pussycat: great impression alan b (1:07am)
Alan B.: That dirty, dirty, dirty low down. (1:07am)
Alan B.: Thank goodness Mr. and Mrs. Scaggs named thier son Boz. (1:08am)
e_yazel: you talked about 'cool people or something, Hal, and then yu mentioned Boz Scaggs! don't you even,... remember? (1:08am)
e_yazel: oh, kids still say "scagg" (1:09am)
Alan B.: I wonder, wonder, wonder, wonder who? (1:09am)
e_yazel: do describe a "loose woman" (1:09am)
vj pussycat: scaggs albertsons (1:10am)
Alan B.: One more wine cooler and they'll be rolling out "Brandy" by Looking Glass. (1:10am)
vj pussycat: kiko met brandy I think (1:10am)
e_yazel: we're the reason you do this. I've been wondering. (1:10am)
e_yazel: kids still say "scagg" to describe "slutty" girls. (1:11am)
vj pussycat: scum + hag = scagg (1:12am)
e_yazel: Columbia never released it, they were busy pressing Boz Scaggs. (1:12am)
Alan B.: KrOB, this is a sweet, sweet extended live Boz jam. (1:12am)
e_yazel: yeah. Sweet. Now play The Sweet. "Ballroom Blitz" (1:13am)
Alan B.: Hadron tiem? (1:14am)
e_yazel: Blck Santa Scaggs. (1:14am)
Alan B.: I would love to hear that, Earl. (1:14am)
e_yazel: it's immediaely available online. don't treat this like some request station. these are artistes (1:15am)
Alan B.: Hunger artists. (1:15am)
e_yazel: however, he is playing some sort of live Boz Scaggs concert, yes. (1:15am)
e_yazel: oh, fuck off! (1:16am)
Alan B.: Chat box, turn in your badge and gun! (1:16am)
e_yazel: heh heh (1:16am)
e_yazel: Bat Chox. (1:16am)
e_yazel: Boz Scaggs and the Bat Chox. (1:17am)
e_yazel: Afterburn (1:18am)
Alan B.: Gloop Hub. (1:18am)
e_yazel: oh, this is a sad song. (1:18am)
e_yazel: "Time, look what you've done to me (1:19am)
Alan B.: Chrontracter talk. (1:20am)
vj pussycat: it must be NHLG (1:21am)
Alan B.: Hey, I paid $35, I want a saucer. (1:21am)
e_yazel: chrontracter... heh... (1:21am)
Alan B.: Gimmie "Bob!" (1:21am)
e_yazel: okay here's a question... (1:22am)
e_yazel: how long have you known Boz Saggs? (1:22am)
Saggz: MC or DJ? (1:23am)
e_yazel: play that popular song. you know the one. (1:24am)
e_yazel: you need a drink.. of coffee. (1:25am)
e_yazel: Major Major Major Major (1:26am)
Alan B.: Gay picnic. (1:26am)
e_yazel: Tell Them Willie Boy is Here (1:26am)
e_yazel: Circus World starring John Wayne (1:27am)
e_yazel: yeah, who needs money? (1:28am)
e_yazel: Jimmy Stewart as a euthanistic clown (1:29am)
Alan B.: 10 Most Horrific Circus Accidents In History http://bit.ly/1nVWNhG (1:30am)
e_yazel: Winterland (1:30am)
e_yazel: WInterland East. WInterland West (1:30am)
vj pussycat: wintergarden (1:31am)
e_yazel: i cannot look at those sorts of things. Circus accidents? I am really a wimp about internet stuff like that. (1:31am)
e_yazel: I suppose I ought toovercome and seek out these gruesome things. (1:32am)
e_yazel: Hey, Hal.. talk about Noah al you want!! (1:32am)
Alan B.: Slower . . . (1:32am)
Alan B.: Incest in the Bible http://bit.ly/1nVWSSz (1:32am)
e_yazel: John Houston's The Bible.. IN the Beginnng... (1:33am)
e_yazel: they have a great Noahg sequence in that, that entire movie is great. (1:33am)
Alan B.: The Talmud suggests that Ham may have sodomized Noah (1:34am)
e_yazel: I have aplace with the saucers, but I would have to be there to meet them to save time and I have to wait for certain others to get right, it's like the Buddha thing. (1:34am)
Alan B.: How does he make his voice DO that?! (1:35am)
Alan B.: Lot and his daughters (1:36am)
Alan B.: Genesis 19:30 And Lot went up out of Zoar, and dwelt in the mountain, and his two daughters with him; for he feared to dwell in Zoar: and he dwelt in a cave, he and his two daughters. (1:36am)
Alan B.: 31 And the firstborn said unto the younger, Our father is old, and there is not a man in the earth to come in unto us after the manner of all the earth: (1:36am)
Alan B.: 32 Come, let us make our father drink wine, and we will lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father. (1:37am)
Alan B.: 33 And they made their father drink wine that night: and the firstborn went in, and lay with her father; and he perceived not when she lay down, nor when she arose. (1:37am)
Alan B.: 34 And it came to pass on the morrow, that the firstborn said unto the younger, Behold, I lay yesternight with my father: let us make him drink wine this night also; and go thou in, and lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father. (1:37am)
e_yazel: People get too stuck on that stuff. Like people should know the real reason for the destruction of Sodom and Gommorah was their human sacrifice thing. This was the real quarrel. both the Right and Left nowadays get focused on the angel rapey thing... (1:37am)
Alan B.: 35 And they made their father drink wine that night also: and the younger arose, and lay with him; and he perceived not when she lay down, nor when she arose. (1:37am)
Alan B.: 36 Thus were both the daughters of Lot with child by their father. (1:37am)
Alan B.: The older daughter conceived Moab (Hebrew, lit., "from the father" [meh-Av]), father of the Moabites;[v.37] the younger conceived Ben-Ammi (Hebrew, lit., "Son of my people"), father of the Ammonites.[v.38] (1:37am)
Alan B.: God just doesn't destroy the world often enough anymore. (1:38am)
e_yazel: Talmud all about it! (1:39am)
Alan B.: LOL (1:39am)
Alan B.: Sounds like a good place for a cleansing fire. (1:40am)
e_yazel: well, so the passge you mention only suggests this about Ham if ne wishes to see that. It's unlikely, a modern fetishism. (1:40am)
Alan B.: T-E-C-H-D-O-U-C-H-E (1:41am)
Alan B.: It's French. (1:42am)
e_yazel: it's the Jerry typewriter tune (1:42am)
e_yazel: Jerry Lewis.. so, who is playing this Mac voice, what is it reciting? (1:43am)
Alan B.: 4:44 a.m. EST, oh sweet lawd. Goodnight! (1:44am)
e_yazel: oh, about Rand Paul in Silliclone V... yeah, yes incvite Kathy Wheveh on the showto debate Hal!!! (1:44am)
e_yazel: Have her on, why not. (1:45am)
e_yazel: Kathy Who? (1:47am)
e_yazel: what's she running for? (1:47am)
e_yazel: what post? (1:47am)
e_yazel: WHat is KROB's voting strategy? (1:49am)
e_yazel: is this a mechanism that reads thngs? (1:49am)
e_yazel: Livertarians? (1:50am)
e_yazel: they hsve an iron problem (1:51am)
vj pussycat: nighty night alan b (1:52am)
e_yazel: Marines (1:55am)
e_yazel: Rowdy Marines (1:55am)
e_yazel: Coppola's wines .. They Taste Like... Victory, You Know? (1:57am)
e_yazel: MacDuff!!! (1:58am)
e_yazel: The Scottish Play (1:58am)
e_yazel: The Method (1:59am)
e_yazel: well, it's easy..it's a sense-memory kinda thing... (1:59am)
e_yazel: hope you're paying attention.. (1:59am)
e_yazel: so, think about that time you got lost at the STate Fair.. (2:00am)
e_yazel: we're going for a fear ting, right? (2:00am)
e_yazel: this'll win you the Tony! (2:00am)
e_yazel: well, the Obie, at least... (2:01am)
e_yazel: Hal Robins Inside The Actor's Studio (2:03am)
e_yazel: Robo Dj Inside The Actor's Studio (2:06am)
e_yazel: this part since midnight is one for the archives (2:08am)
e_yazel: Sketches by "Boz" (2:09am)
e_yazel: Martin Chuzzlewhit by Charles Dickens, Sketches by "Boz" Scaggs (2:10am)
e_yazel: This makes up for the long radio absence, (2:15am)
e_yazel: Dr Hal's Mission Rave Freakout Orgy. In Hell. (2:17am)
e_yazel: Dr. Hal's Weird S.S Nazi Wicked Freakout Sideshow In Hell! (2:18am)
e_yazel: Dr, Hal's Freedom Freakout Patriot Orgy With Guns and Blood. (2:20am)
e_yazel: Dr, Hal's Libertarian Declaration Fuckfest Pynchonesque (2:22am)
e_yazel: Dr, Hal's Disney Marxist Acid Grocery Cheerleader Presentation (2:25am)

Puzzling Evidence 7 : Dr. Fiasco 1
July 11, 2014 10:00pm

 

The 2014 World Cup of Ask Dr. Hal Show Substitute Host Appearances is over and the results, while completely expected, were not pretty. Despite talking a Big Game before the tournament, Dr. Fiasco appeared on the field during one match of the three. A brief examination of that appearance revealed the replaying of Dr. Fiasco's prehistoric NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND tired old sound bites, despite his declared objection to all things NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND. For tonight's final game, Puzzling Evidence scored 5 times against the absent DJ Fiasco in the first 30 minutes of play, with a cacophonous display of overdub, mash-ups, incongruous sets or clicking sounds and yammering from his co-host. Dr. Fiasco threatened repeatedly to come down to the studio and "fix" the program, but alas, mere hollow threats.

Dr. Hal will be reading this full report on his flight home...

Chatroom History
July 11, 2014 10:00pm - 1:30am

Dr. Fiasco: Is anyone in the studio? (10:16pm)
RoBo DJ: nope (10:35pm)
Only ME: ,God. (10:35pm)
RopoBotDope: Yep. (10:36pm)
Charles Manson: I roll the nickels. (10:36pm)
Jerry Lewis: Ladieeeeee (10:38pm)
Dr. Fiasco: Looks like a party in your pants! (10:41pm)
Dr. Fiasco: Everything is funnier when you throw "pants" in (10:41pm)
Hampants: are Love.... (10:43pm)
Dr. Fiasco: I AM COMING OVER (10:45pm)
Dr. Fiasco: EVRYONE WATCH OUT (10:45pm)
Hampants: I'm quaking in the Turf Club. (10:45pm)
ADHS RULES:: no starting the show at 10:45pm (10:46pm)
God: absolelutelt yy right (10:46pm)
The Show: is the show. (10:50pm)
The Show: All is Show. (10:50pm)
The Show: will consume you. (10:52pm)
Dr. Fiasco: My attorney is listening to the show and taking detailed notes (11:10pm)
Dr. Fiasco: Does the phrase "libel suit" mean anything to you? (11:12pm)
The Show: if the suit fits, fuck it.. (11:14pm)
Dr. Penny: Pete Goldie's backup girls. (11:52pm)
Dr. Penny: Dr. Fiasco'll come and overturn the tables in the Radio Valencia Temple. (11:56pm)
The Show: is no money lender. (12:23am)
The Show: Ask Dr Hal (12:54am)
The Show: is almost over.. (12:54am)


Ask Dr. Hal - now with a generic brand!
July 4, 2014 10:00pm

 

While Dr. Hal was busy attending the Gathering of the Juggalos, Radio Valencia management scrambled to find a suitable substitute.

Carrot Top was washing his hair that night and Rob Schneider had his 25th-rehab reunion and so it fell on the wide shoulders of Dr. Fiasco to keep the proverbial Ask Dr. Hal caravan moving on while the dogs bark by the side of the road.

Chatroom History
July 4, 2014 10:00pm - 1:30am

DrPantzFunkley: good evening (10:05pm)
DrPantzFunkley: is this an x-day show? (10:06pm)
soundbyte: ..this is fun to listen to on a night like tonight http://bit.ly/VMKeLu (10:06pm)
soundbyte: http://bit.ly/VMKeLu (10:07pm)
DrPantzFunkley: it's gorgeous 4th of july (10:07pm)
soundbyte: is scansf.com (10:07pm)
DrPantzFunkley: but what year is it? (10:07pm)
DrPantzFunkley: greetings and salutations dr fiasco (10:08pm)
DrPantzFunkley: they went crazy with the fireworks in st louis (10:09pm)
soundbyte: ...the Fireworks outside sounds like it would if the country did indeed have legalized 'Purge' ...Like the Movie (10:10pm)
DrPantzFunkley: very enjoyable episode tonight, i am diggin it (10:32pm)
vj pussycat: did dr fiasco make it this week? (10:41pm)
Dr. Fiasco: Howdy everyone, good evening (10:47pm)
Dr. Fiasco: Loosen your seatbelts and let us go (10:47pm)
DrPantzFunkley: excellent sonic exploration tonight Dr (10:49pm)
vj pussycat: Yay dr fiasco! (10:49pm)
Karen Carpenter: just tuning in now... can you start over? (10:50pm)
DrPantzFunkley: hah (10:54pm)
DrPantzFunkley: hooray (10:54pm)
A Kind Stranger: What's with the talking over talking? (10:59pm)
A Kind Stranger: There's dialogue happening over dialogue. (10:59pm)
DrPantzFunkley: that's how this party rolls (11:01pm)
vj pussycat: hey sorry dr, I couldn't make it. I'm in the woods with bran and kyle (11:33pm)
Dr. Fiasco: So, let me ask you did that make sense? (11:52pm)
Dr. Fiasco: Is it any clearer now? (11:52pm)

NHLG 2: Listeners 0
June 27, 2014 10:00pm

 

It was a hard fought match, but eventually it was no contest as Dr. Fiasco forfeited the game at exactly 1pm Friday. What followed was a conscious effort at overlapping background sounds, talking over each other, yammering and logger-yee-ha. No Dr. Hals were harmed in the making of this reloadio podcast.

Chatroom History
June 27, 2014 10:00pm - 2:30am

Alan B.: 2700 Seconds (10:23pm)
Alan B.: I didn't miss technical adjustments, yeah. (10:23pm)
Alan B.: Dr. Fiasco is very quiet. (10:25pm)
Alan B.: Mitzi Shore: Not dead. (10:30pm)
vj pussycat: Ha I confuse Tulsa and cate too! (10:33pm)
Alan B.: Put the yammer down, good buddy! (10:33pm)
Alan B.: It was one year ago that Hal was first hurt. (10:33pm)
Alan B.: Stray Cats - (She's) Sexy & 17 http://bit.ly/1vg4P57 (10:35pm)
vj pussycat: where is dr fiasco (10:38pm)
Alan B.: Hi, vj pussycat! I think Dr. Fiasco is 2700 seconds late. (10:39pm)
vj pussycat: he sounds French now (10:40pm)
Alan B.: He sounds like a Frenchman who got hit in the skull. (10:40pm)
vj pussycat: That's the canada factor (10:41pm)
Alan B.: Will the whippit bulbs be smackin' the console? (10:41pm)
Alan B.: The Canuck Effect (10:41pm)
vj pussycat: Canuck Canuck (10:42pm)
vj pussycat: Canuck Canuck Canuck (10:42pm)
Alan B.: Too many laptops (10:44pm)
Alan B.: She's on nitrous. (10:44pm)
Alan B.: Flying Saucers - this print depicts 400 hits that were originally issued circa 1980. http://bit.ly/1vg60l2 (10:46pm)
Alan B.: REEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLDDDDDDDDDDD IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOgo rrhea (10:48pm)
Alan B.: Online liberatrians will die screaming come the revolution. (10:49pm)
Alan B.: Hey, we're 600 seconds late switching to the next discrete, isolated laptop sound. (10:50pm)
Alan B.: DJ Q Bert - Freestyle (all that scratching is making me itch) http://bit.ly/1vg6Cad (10:52pm)
Alan B.: Norway the hard way. (10:52pm)
Alan B.: Robots in disguise (10:54pm)
Alan B.: LOAD DAT WHIPPIT. (10:56pm)
Alan B.: Meh. I'm too bored to dial. (10:57pm)
Alan B.: Where is Dr. Fiasco, tho? (11:01pm)
Alan B.: 2700 (11:01pm)
Alan B.: moo hoo haa haa haaaaaa! (11:01pm)
vj pussycat: Maybe he's sleeping (11:02pm)
Alan B.: He's 2700 percent sleeping. (11:02pm)
Alan B.: KrOB's last show featuring REM was most excellent. (11:03pm)
Alan B.: HE HAD ONE JOB. (11:03pm)
Alan B.: And don't forget the re-enactments of Pat Novak for Hire. (11:05pm)
Alan B.: This show is hurting H.A.L. and he doesn't even know it. (11:06pm)
Alan B.: He can't listen because he is working off his plane ticket by coallating SubGenius minister packets at the Stang's. (11:07pm)
Alan B.: Fuck that guy. (11:08pm)
Alan B.: Annnnnnnnnnnd vj pussycat. (11:09pm)
vj pussycat: I'm here (11:09pm)
Alan B.: I refuse to call. (11:09pm)
vj pussycat: Maybe in a bit. Doing something now (11:09pm)
Alan B.: A History of Michael Bay's Gay Jokes http://bit.ly/1vg6Cad (11:21pm)
Alan B.: Max Headroom broadcast signal intrusion http://bit.ly/1obVbzh (11:23pm)
Alan B.: Video: Max Headroom 1987 Broadcast Signal Intrusion Incident http://bit.ly/1obVdas (11:24pm)
Alan B.: Everyone else will be Dr. Fiasco's bitch. (11:24pm)
Alan B.: The listeners want anal retention. (11:25pm)
Alan B.: Jesus, Christ, Pete, (11:27pm)
Alan B.: I want to take the computer (11:27pm)
Alan B.: away and fix it. (11:28pm)
vj pussycat: I miss enlightened (11:39pm)
Ho-Door: Behind theGreenDoor.com (11:49pm)
BehindTheGreenHo-Door: .com (11:49pm)
C'mon,: sputterflies are free, also. (12:05am)
C'mon,: Crackers are free, too. (12:05am)
C'mon,: Damage is frree,to. (12:06am)
C'mon,: on a drone. (12:06am)
C'mon,: , in a drone. (12:23am)
Alan B.: EAT SLEEP PITCH REPEAT (12:24am)
Alan B.: G'nite (12:44am)
And, : not one Dr Hal quote... (12:50am)
The Post Office: thanks you for the US Mail quote. (12:51am)
The Audience: Is this Ask Dr Hal 2? (12:52am)
Heavenly Father: Pray for End Of Show Now... (12:53am)
RevBabyBear: Was that Ask Doctor Hal?! WTF?! (12:54am)
The Drugs: Do US!!!!!! (12:55am)
The Drugs: Dead People (1:01am)
The Drugs: Listen and see us. (1:02am)
The Drugs: And, turn it up.... (1:04am)


THE GREATEST SHOW UNEARTHED
June 20, 2014 10:00pm

 

Courtesy of Firesign Theatre archivist Taylor Jessen, this Friday, Ask Dr. Hal! will include classic ranting from Nate Eagle, a carny talker who worked for Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey, far from being anything like "politically correct," but an amazing series of reminiscences about the Big Shows of times gone by, including the All-Midget Sideshow, "Pickled Punks" and Nudist camps, not to mention Jo-Jo, the Dog-Faced Boy. Columbia stored this material in its vaults but never released the (LP) record. He tells numerous tales of carny life and recapitulates many of his actual "pitches" from memory. Though you can hear a very little of this stuff on the Firesign Theatre's Duke of Madness Motors LP reissue, the bulk of it has never been broadcast anywhere. Not for the thin-skinned, but only Phil Proctor has the other extant dub of this amazing revelation into the showmanship of the past. An invaluable historical document which needs to be heard to be believed. And, Ladies and Gents, tonight's show offers numerous other recondite pleasures. Come One, Come All-- now step forward-- if you dare!

Chatroom History
June 20, 2014 10:00pm - 1:30am

nunu nignig: Contract Killers -- Starring : Lee Van Cleef, Clint Eastwood, John Wayne -- Double-crossed by SubGenii he trusted, hit man Hal Robins ( John Wayne ) becomes the target of assassins ( Doug Wellman : Clint Eastwood & Philo Drummond : Lee Van Cleef ) -- so begins a ruthless game of kill or be killed. (11:55pm)
nunu nignig: kill or be killed. (11:55pm)
nunu nignig: Understand that there are certain hidden dimensons of Dr Hal that we shall never know. Meanwhile, Now is time to save the Future, and to put an End to the Past. Invest in Dr Hal Victory Chits -- Help SubGenii Win vs the Pinks ! (11:56pm)
nunu nignig: Google Tried To Ban This Shocking Radio Program ! Click Here Now To Listen Before It's Too Late ! LEGAL / TWITTER / FACEBOOK / HOME / ADVERTISE / DOWNLOADS / LINKS / CONTACT (11:58pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: The Sundial strikes 11 pm on Friday. Dr Hal Robins, be Radio Valencia. Never-as-planned Cheap Thralls, yes, and emotive intellections advanced as an immediate philosophy of theophratic concommitance of beauty and cannibalism. (11:59pm)
zzz: censored (12:02am)
Dr. Penny: Is this peanut butter which I see before me? (12:13am)

BIRDS OF CALM
June 13, 2014 10:00pm

 


On Friday the 13th, at the full of the moon, with only one working CD changer tray in the studio, Dr. Hal related the story of how Ceyx and Halcyone were both transformed into birds. Raided by Puzzling Evidence, KrOB and Sherilyn Connelly, the show benefited not from their participation; instead, they kibitzed, shouted and tried to disrupt the proceedings. But Zeus, the All-Father, took pity on Dr. Hal, and sent two demi-goddesses, Sarah Szczechowicz and Lisa Vincenti, to add to the conversational colloquy and cover the clumsy, ham-handed CD changes with their gentle tones. Dr. Hal blushed with pride-- or was that redness but a remnant of his recent intense, all-over Solar exposure in the far-off Petrolian Paradise?

Chatroom History
June 13, 2014 10:00pm - 1:30am

Alan B.: Variety is the spice of life. (10:15pm)
Alan B.: If they make it past the dinosarus, LIES will kill htem. (10:19pm)
Alan B.: That is TRUE! I have always had one. (10:21pm)
Alan B.: Stan Freberg 45s (10:23pm)
Alan B.: Angel and Devil bobbleheads (10:24pm)
Alan B.: Casper the Friendly Ghost comics (10:25pm)
Alan B.: Baby Godzilla Film Series Statues (10:28pm)
vj pussycat: dead air (10:31pm)
Alan B.: Dead air is just fine. (10:31pm)
vj pussycat: nevermind (10:31pm)
Alan B.: Dead Air is Church Air (10:31pm)
vj pussycat: praise (10:31pm)
Alan B.: /%u02C8si%u02D0.%u026Aks/; (10:54pm)
Alan B.: Shoot, the chatterbox won't reproduce the pronunciation (10:54pm)
Alan B.: Try here: http://bit.ly/1ved57v (10:54pm)
Alan B.: /si:Iks/ (10:55pm)
Alan B.: "Bob" our laxitive, we shall not want. (11:19pm)
Alan B.: NO LAPTOPS (11:22pm)
Alan B.: HADRONS INTERDIT (11:23pm)
Alan B.: Mickey Mouse and Memonic Mouse (11:27pm)
Alan B.: Hiya, Z! (11:44pm)
Alan B.: NIEN VERBOTEN NO LAPTOPS (11:45pm)
Alan B.: Monster (11:47pm)
Alan B.: Don't hurt H.A.L.! (11:48pm)
Dr. Penny: The marine scene gathering. How many magic cards does that require? (11:50pm)
Alan B.: From the halls of Montezuma . . (11:51pm)
Alan B.: Thy will be done, KrOB (11:54pm)
Dr. Penny: Head extensions. (11:57pm)
Alan B.: Spin and Marty (11:59pm)
EarlEarlEarlEarlEarl: Ah, a harem for Hal. He's doing just fine, then. (12:00am)
Dr. Penny: As it should be. (12:00am)
Alan B.: 72 virgins (12:01am)
EarlEarlEarlEarlEarl: well, let's not exagerrate. in any manner. (12:03am)
EarlEarlEarlEarlEarl: Exaggerate. (12:03am)
Dr. Penny: White lightening in a bottle (12:06am)
EarlEarlEarlEarlEarl: Hal's problem regarding other people's children and being concerned is common. It takes a Greenwich Village. (12:06am)
EarlEarlEarlEarlEarl: It Takes A Village Idiot (12:06am)
Dr. Penny: Put it in the flea-hopper. (12:08am)
Dr. Penny: Her own light at the end of the tunnel. (12:11am)
EarlEarlEarlEarlEarl: The bear she speaks of was a spirit-being. (12:11am)
vj pussycat: it wasn't a chipmunk? (12:12am)
EarlEarlEarlEarlEarl: Apparently it was an animal of the bruin variety. (12:14am)
EarlEarlEarlEarlEarl: That woman's lucky she wasn't (12:14am)
EarlEarlEarlEarlEarl: unless it was a racoon. (12:14am)
Dr. Penny: A praying chip makes it a salt of the earth monk. (12:15am)
EarlEarlEarlEarlEarl: what is she saying? Two bears were sitting around listening to Fox news??? (12:16am)
EarlEarlEarlEarlEarl: In a campground? (12:16am)
Dr. Penny: ...as you look out the window. (12:18am)
EarlEarlEarlEarlEarl: Maybe she means they were "bears" like old jargon for hairy old gay men. (12:18am)
EarlEarlEarlEarlEarl: This feed keeps dropping out. SOmehow these bears they're discussing were brought to Moscow. (12:20am)
Dr. Penny: But are bears Putin's favorite kind of lover? (12:21am)
Alan B.: Proximity effect (12:21am)
Alan B.: Vanilla waivers (12:22am)
EarlEarlEarlEarlEarl: Mr. Putin's favorite kind of lover is himself. (12:23am)
Alan B.: Proximity effect (audio) http://bit.ly/JegpNi%28audio%29 (12:23am)
Alan B.: Depending on the microphone design, proximity effect may result in a boost of up to 6 dB, depending on the size of the microphone's diaphragm and the distance of the source. (12:23am)
EarlEarlEarlEarlEarl: Sez you. (12:24am)
Dr. Penny: Vanilla bears prefer the missionary position. (12:24am)
Alan B.: It bears repeating (12:25am)
Karen Carpenter: "honey moon" grrrr (12:25am)
Alan B.: The Listener (12:26am)
Alan B.: IT'S FALLING TO THE GROUND IT'S CRASHING IT'S CRASHING OH THE HUMANITY (12:26am)
Karen Carpenter: my eyes worked better (12:28am)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/1luudmj (12:29am)
Karen Carpenter: Ed Gein Conferences (12:29am)
Alan B.: The Foundation Trilogy (12:31am)
Alan B.: Anyway, ta! (12:33am)

PERSON OR PERSONS UNKNOWN
June 6, 2014 10:00pm

 


While Dr. Hal was away, frolicking with the laughing, splashing, unclothed Naiads in the Mattole River near Petrolia, California, mysterious, anonymous individuals entered the Radio Valencia studio by surreptitious means and commandeered the show. The motivation for the actions of these invaders has not yet determined; quondam guests KrOB, Sherilyn Connelly and Puzzling Evidence are on the case.

Chatroom History
June 6, 2014 10:00pm - 1:30am

Alan B.: Sub http://bit.ly/1mZsljq (10:01pm)
Alan B.: H. A. L. (10:13pm)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/1mZsHXz (10:14pm)
Alan B.: Are you the Wolfman? http://bit.ly/1mZsW4G (10:22pm)
Alan B.: "I'm not a young man anymore. (10:25pm)
Alan B.: no accepted medical use (10:28pm)
Alan B.: le spectacle commence maintenant http://bit.ly/1mZtgAs (10:31pm)
Communist Quisling: Leave me alone, Ronald Reagan! (10:35pm)
Alan B.: Dat tape squeal . . . (10:36pm)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/1mZtwiS (10:37pm)
Alan B.: H. A. L. explains SLACK http://bit.ly/1mZtyaC (10:37pm)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/1jTN9Is (10:39pm)
Alan B.: Puce schlag on a sausage fest and no star (10:44pm)
Alan B.: Post Post http://bit.ly/1mZtXKh (10:49pm)
Alan B.: Koch http://bit.ly/1mZu7B7 (10:54pm)
Alan B.: "If you're interested in broadcasting, you've come to the right party." (10:55pm)
Alan B.: Motorhead - Jailbait http://bit.ly/1mZus6T (11:02pm)
Alan B.: E. S. R. P. http://bit.ly/1dCP7IT (11:03pm)
Alan B.: durr (11:04pm)
Alan B.: Eat Sleep Rave Pete (11:07pm)
Alan B.: Sorry, KrOB, the muse has yet to find me. But I will do eeet. (11:09pm)
Alan B.: Ooooooh?! (11:10pm)
Alan B.: I think I may have to go beyond the CityGardents canon. (11:11pm)
Dr. Penny: krob & sherilyn rocking the ask dr. hal show (11:14pm)
DrPantzFunkley: how's it going? (11:16pm)
DrPantzFunkley: greetings to all my sub Gs (11:16pm)
DrPantzFunkley: Dr Hal, are you ready for this years X Day? (11:16pm)
Alan B.: Venom - 7th Date of Hell 1984 part 8/10 http://bit.ly/1mZuUCg (11:16pm)
DrPantzFunkley: Have an idea for what you are going to do artisticly tpo (11:17pm)
DrPantzFunkley: the pie? (11:17pm)
Alan B.: Hey, Pantz, send Stang plane monies for H. A. L. or he ain't going. (11:17pm)
Alan B.: I was tripping on the old school "Rated GP." (11:18pm)
DrPantzFunkley: dr penny are you in the studio? (11:18pm)
DrPantzFunkley: stang already sent him his plane tickets (11:18pm)
Alan B.: Oh, H. A. L., such whinging (11:18pm)
DrPantzFunkley: i am going to stream dr hal and do some beta testing of survarium (11:19pm)
Alan B.: Good to knoa. (11:19pm)
DrPantzFunkley: stalker lives on (11:19pm)
Alan B.: I would go but I can't. (11:20pm)
Alan B.: I'm annoyed about it. (11:21pm)
DrPantzFunkley: the problem is that it's over the 4th of July, and I host our family's 4th party, and it's pretty big (11:21pm)
DrPantzFunkley: i won't be able to get to an X Day for quite some time i am afraid (11:21pm)
DrPantzFunkley: but i may lose out if the saucers come (11:21pm)
DrPantzFunkley: ;p (11:21pm)
Alan B.: Right?! (11:22pm)
Alan B.: July 4 is not cool if you have family and stuff. (11:22pm)
DrPantzFunkley: do you ever listen to DJ Meow and the Music Dept on Thursdays at 2 pm San Fran time (11:22pm)
Alan B.: I'm working then. :( But I can podcast? I'm afraid to take any more shows, this is eating my life. (11:23pm)
Dr. Penny: Dr. pf, I aint. (11:23pm)
Dr. Penny: Livin' it up though through x-d. (11:25pm)
Alan B.: Squirm http://bit.ly/1mZvi3D (11:26pm)
Alan B.: Baby Metal? (11:28pm)
Alan B.: Tracy Ullman is a fucking genius. (11:29pm)
Alan B.: Mr. President 'Language Barrier' http://bit.ly/1mZvoIp (11:30pm)
Alan B.: ^^^ I'm certain this is tragically awful. (11:30pm)
Alan B.: CONRAD FUCKING BAIN! (11:30pm)
Alan B.: And mai waifu. Madeline Kahn. (11:31pm)
DrPantzFunkley: dj meow is just music (11:32pm)
DrPantzFunkley: it's worth the download, she's great (11:32pm)
DrPantzFunkley: who is in the studio? (11:32pm)
DrPantzFunkley: KRob and some guest (11:32pm)
DrPantzFunkley: no Dr Hal right (11:32pm)
DrPantzFunkley: i just remembered that (11:32pm)
Alan B.: Thanks for the tout. There are zillions of podcasts and I don't have time for randomness. (11:33pm)
Alan B.: Dr. H. A. L. is testing Crisco this evening. (11:34pm)
DrPantzFunkley: man, the beta test isn't going well, the lag is pretty brutal (11:34pm)
Alan B.: Cylons hate popsicles. (11:35pm)
DrPantzFunkley: i had bomb pops tonight (11:35pm)
DrPantzFunkley: they were great' (11:35pm)
Alan B.: The ones with gumballs in the bottom? (11:35pm)
Alan B.: Nina Blackwood looked icky. (11:35pm)
Alan B.: I totally wanted Martha Quinn's perky babies. (11:36pm)
DrPantzFunkley: i liked down town julie brown (11:37pm)
Alan B.: The Wisdom of Lou Reed (Blue in the Face) http://bit.ly/1mZvH69 (11:38pm)
Alan B.: That fuckin' 'fro. (11:38pm)
Alan B.: That jingle packge will help your quarter-hour maintenance. (11:42pm)
Alan B.: GODDAMN JOHN CAFFERTY!! (11:42pm)
Alan B.: That side is dark. http://bit.ly/1mZvUX2 (11:43pm)
Alan B.: John Cafferty and the Beaver Brown Band Years active 1972%u2013present ?!?!?! (11:44pm)
Alan B.: Yammering (11:45pm)
John Cafferty: What did I ever do to you? (11:45pm)
Alan B.: You were the evil Springsteen twin. (11:45pm)
Alan B.: Also Eddie & the Cruisers (11:46pm)
Alan B.: Which I saw first run during my misspent youth. (11:47pm)
Alan B.: How I didn't kill myself in 1985, I have no idea. Thankfully, I started abusing marijuana full time not long afterwards. (11:48pm)
Alan B.: Col. Parker was an illegal alien. (11:50pm)
Tom Parker: So's your mother. -- Signed, The Colonel (11:51pm)
Alan B.: What I loved about Col. Tom was he got 50 percent of the revenue for doing nothign, then when Elvis invested with him he took ANOTHER 50 percent. (11:51pm)
vj pussycat: where's hal? (11:52pm)
vj pussycat: portola? (11:52pm)
Alan B.: Obsessive H. A. L. tracking NOW. (11:52pm)
vj pussycat: this show reminds me of NHLG (11:53pm)
DrPantzFunkley: good LSD was around during the 80s (11:53pm)
Alan B.: I have a Gantt chart to fill, make with the H. A. L. project elements. (11:53pm)
DrPantzFunkley: are you using micorsoft plan to do it? (11:53pm)
Alan B.: I age a fuckton of fairly nasty acid in the early 90s. I'm convinced it was all strychnine. (11:54pm)
Alan B.: ate (11:54pm)
DrPantzFunkley: did you ever get the jesus christ something or other that went around in the mid 90s (11:54pm)
vj pussycat: i ate a ton of acid just now (11:54pm)
Alan B.: Yes, Pantz, it is important to use only properly activated Genuine Microsoft Products. (11:54pm)
vj pussycat: fuckton (11:55pm)
DrPantzFunkley: where did you get your acid (11:55pm)
Alan B.: No, some liquid that was fairly good, then some blank blotter. (11:55pm)
Alan B.: What are you, the FBI? (11:55pm)
vj pussycat: acid r us (11:55pm)
vj pussycat: microdots, pyramid gels, snowflake and blotter (11:57pm)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/1mZwpAu (11:58pm)
Alan B.: boo (11:58pm)
Alan B.: Krystle ate all the acid (11:59pm)
vj pussycat: trippin for hours in a tunnel sounds fantastic (11:59pm)
DrPantzFunkley: i have found it much harder to get lsd these days (12:01am)
DrPantzFunkley: and i am looking for some (12:01am)
DrPantzFunkley: no, i am not the fbi (12:01am)
Alan B.: I certainly don't know, I'm high on "Bob" (12:01am)
DrPantzFunkley: but i am invloved with intelligence (12:01am)
DrPantzFunkley: i got a new batch for frop today and it's really effing good (12:02am)
Alan B.: I have babies, I need to stay out of her majesty's service (12:02am)
vj pussycat: what's frop (12:03am)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/1mZwBj3. (12:03am)
Alan B.: Inhaling burnt vegetable matter is never a healthy practice. If you want to get "high," as the youth parlance goes, we would suggest 'Frop, instead. It CAN be smoked, but is so strong that it doesn't really require ignition. It kills just as many irrelevant brain cells, but spares the all important lung tissue. (12:04am)
Alan B.: all important lung tissue. (12:04am)
Alan B.: H. to the A. to the L. (12:05am)
Alan B.: We have crossed the terminator and entered into a new day. (12:05am)
vj pussycat: ah a subgenii thing (12:06am)
Alan B.: We need to create a Dr. H. A. L. algorithm, so that when he is no longer making radio on this plane we will still have all of the boilerplate stuff. (12:06am)
Alan B.: I really loved Big Audio Dynamite. (12:06am)
vj pussycat: like they did with ebert (12:07am)
vj pussycat: they were bad (12:07am)
Alan B.: YES, VJPussycat, as with St. Ebert, we must create H. A. L. engrams and have his samples at our fingertips. (12:07am)
vj pussycat: brilliant plan, alan b, you must get started immediately (12:08am)
Alan B.: The horses are on the track. http://bit.ly/1mZwJza (12:08am)
Alan B.: Okay, I really need to make that soundboard. (12:09am)
vj pussycat: daisy (12:13am)
Alan B.: Absolutely do that. (12:18am)
Alan B.: The New Adventures of Old Pedro. (12:20am)
Alan B.: Hey, you're playing the Beaver Brown Band, cool. (12:21am)
Dr. Penny: Duck & cover. (12:24am)
Alan B.: F. E. T. (12:29am)
Alan B.: Hammer and popsickels (12:34am)
Alan B.: Early 60s culture hero convergence. (12:36am)
Alan B.: KrOB and guest (12:39am)
Alan B.: That fan chain is fucking TOAST! (12:39am)
Alan B.: I think we need a way to have Wellman pull the bullets out of "Bob's" chest and install them back in his pistol. (12:40am)
Alan B.: DIABEETUS http://bit.ly/1k5owpW (12:42am)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/1k5oE94 (12:43am)
vj pussycat: alan b, I can't believe you're still awake (12:54am)
vj pussycat: are you gonna make it through the whole show?! (12:55am)
vj pussycat: hey y'all, don't forget to play the national anthem (12:56am)
Alan B.: I gotta bal, 4 am.. (1:08am)

FLESH OF THE MONOCEROS
May 30, 2014 10:00pm