My Trip to the DMV

Friday, July 18, 8am

You know, I love a trip to the DMV. The last time I went there, I received a ticket for exiting through the entrance. You heard me. When I went there on Wednesday to get new license plates, because I received a $100 ticket for having no front plate, I was told the front plate was actually STUCK to the back plate. When I bought the car last April, I asked the owner where the front plate was. His response was that it must have been stolen. WTF? I had already recieved 2, count them 2, tickets for not having a front plate. I know, I know, “dude, WTF? Go get the damn plate already.” I’m a glutten for punishment.

So I finally find the time and incination to head down there. I will say they’ve got that place organized pretty well these days. The waiting isn’t that long, they have the TV monitor to tell you when your number is up, and the people watching is amazing. We are all equals in the DMV. I imagine a similar feeling after the ’06 quake and fire in SF. All the rich and poor standing in the bread lines together; shaking hands and working for the common good. Yeah, it’s something like that.

Anyway, the kind lady at the check in, tells me to go remove my exisxting plate, and bring it back to her. I do so. Upon returning, she takes a look at the plate in my hand, tells me to look at the edge, and low and behold, I have two plates stuck together! Damn! $200 f&^%ing dollars later I have two plates stuck together. I’m as pleased as one can imagine, knowing that I don’t have to pay for new plates. At the same time, how much can a set of new plates be? $25? $50? Not $200!!!

I take the plates out and put them both on the car. I then show a DMV employee my most recent, and third ticket for no license plate, which I “accidentally” tore in half when I received it. He signed off on it. I better mail it in, right?

As for the ticket for exiting through the entrance; this happened at the Daly City DMV. They ticketed me, but I aruged SUCCESSFULLY in court, that there is a broken double-yellow line in the street, in front of the driveway. Although there is a sign that states “Entrance Only”, the broken double-yellow line implies that one can exit, and turn left onto the street. I questioned the officer for 15 minutes. I had pictures. The judge loved it. I beat that cop. I beat that cop bad! Ha!

I hadn’t received a moving violation in 17 years, before I got a ticket for speeding on Dolores in SF, in the summer of 2006. I beat that one too. Dang, I’m pretty good about getting out of tickets. I’m just too lazy to go get a license plate I never needed. $200!!!!!!!!!

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