Poetry of Dylan Thomas, Alyssa Osborne and Hal Robins. Radio Synesthesia post-X-Day excerpt, courtesy of WCSB Cleveland, with Bucky Sinister, Ivan Stang, Dr. H. Owll, Princess Wei R. Doe and Lonesome Cowboy Dave. In-studio guests Puzzling Evidence and Earl Yazel dip their toes in the surrounding culture and, in a play-by-play interchange with Dr. Howland Owll, decide that they're still not quite ready for total immersion. Dr. Strangelove performs "She Loves You," Peter Sellers talks with the Beatles, and an excerpt from The Memoirs of Lord Badminton. "Kemah" from Churches Burn's Into the Briar Patch once again (by request) featuring the vocals of A. Osborne. More of Bill Cosby Talks to Kids About Drugs from DJ Female Convict Scorpion, released 05 November 2013. Sinister intimations of Burning Man in the desert. Not for the uninitiated. Show is followed by Puzzling Evidentiary K-Robbery of indefinite length.

WAITING TO HATCH are all the Eggs we've put in one Basket, or, rather, a safe, protected Nest, high in the rocking branches of a solitary Tree. But when the bough breaks... Enjoy this feature while available.

First various poems begin a broad-spectrum presentation with an eye on recent X-Day in the rear-view mirror. The program
then features a ravishing rant from the Wisteria stage by SubGenius SuperStarlet Rev. Baby Bear, whose voice also thrills in a
musical highlight from Churches Burn.
Studio visitors include GirlFriday Spy Emerson, quondam radio magister Dr. Fiasco and Jeff the Wayfarer.
A later feature heard on the show is one of Dr. Hal's first recitations, recorded in 1957, with one from 1960 as a follow-up.
A Nosegay of Esoteric Archival Material. Not for the uninitiated. Thanks are also due to Ivan Stang, Princess Wei R. Doe,
Reverend Bucky Sinister and WCSB in Cleveland, Ohio.

Chatroom History
July 25, 2014 10:00pm - 1:30am

Alan B.: Howdy, Hal1 (10:04pm)
Alan B.: ! (10:04pm)
nexus006: Hey, it's Dr Hal! (10:07pm)
Alan B.: The poems are especially nice this evening. (10:07pm)
Alan B.: Ours is an educational mission. (10:09pm)
Alan B.: It's like a jungle sometimes (10:09pm)
Alan B.: It makes me wonder (10:09pm)
Alan B.: How (10:10pm)
Alan B.: I keep (10:10pm)
Alan B.: from going under. (10:10pm)
nexus006: But shouldn't you be on doing your part with the fundraiser along with your fans? (10:10pm)
Alan B.: Hex Dei. (10:10pm)
Alan B.: Rev. Baby Bear hits this one out of the park. (10:11pm)
spy emerson: hey (10:11pm)
Alan B.: Well, the old farts do help keep the tents warm. (10:15pm)
Alan B.: His pipe and his grin shall lead me. (10:22pm)
Alan B.: "Bob" is "boB" spelled with quotation marks. (10:23pm)
Alan B.: 13013 (10:24pm)
nexus006: Hi Spy (10:24pm)
Alan B.: Simulated Conelrad Alert (Spring 1962) http://bit.ly/UzU0yQ (10:26pm)
Alan B.: May the Farce be with you. (10:54pm)
Alan B.: Bon soir. (11:14pm)
vj pussycat: hi y'all (11:49pm)
vj pussycat: kiko, what would the theme of todd solundz' comedy be? (11:50pm)
vj pussycat: it smelled just like a sweaty yoga class (11:51pm)
vj pussycat: the mediation he led (11:51pm)
vj pussycat: meditation (11:52pm)
Sesame Street alien: Better Lego movie: von Trier or Cronenberg? (11:53pm)
vj pussycat: cronenberg (11:53pm)
vj pussycat: no doubt (11:53pm)
vj pussycat: only one person should talk at a time (11:55pm)
Sesame Street alien: Thought the definitive answer was Chesterfields. (12:04am)
Karen Carpenter: thank "bob" the Dr Fiasco Reign of Terror has ENDED! (12:14am)
Karen Carpenter: listener redeucation camps (12:16am)
e_yazel: it should shock noone to hear this so called "scolding" on the recording... in this case it was undoubtedly well-meant and even a positive thing (12:38am)
e_yazel: andit undoubtedly sounded harsher than intended by his grandfather. (12:39am)
e_yazel: oh, was he that bad, honestly? hitting? well, that is too bad. (12:40am)
e_yazel: now it's difficult toknow what to make of it. forgive my own comments, then! (12:42am)
nexus006: I'm stepping into the time transference portal....or is it just the hot tub (12:44am)
Karen Carpenter: everyone on Facebook is talking about Dr Fiasco (12:46am)
Karen Carpenter: dead air check board (1:03am)
vj pussycat: they are not reading this (1:04am)
vj pussycat: your mics are not working (1:04am)
vj pussycat: fet talker (1:05am)

Dr. Hal returned to a San Francisco utterly destroyed by a summer of CGI action films. No one really cared about the destruction, because for a brief moment, things didn't get more expensive.


Chatroom History
July 18, 2014 10:00pm - 5:30am

Sesame Street alien: Thought it was Nate Eagle. (10:31pm)
Sesame Street alien: Nate Silver? The fivethirtyeight guy? (10:31pm)
vj pussycat: Where's the new house? (11:27pm)
shinpath: Light up my brain (12:02am)
shinpath: ahh a paso doble (12:02am)
shinpath: Ramon y ramon (12:03am)
shinpath: Elvis is everybody (12:03am)
shinpath: Elvis is everything (12:03am)
shinpath: Elvis is everyone (12:03am)
shinpath: and Elvis is still the KING (12:04am)
Alan B.: Boo! (12:13am)
Alan B.: Hi, vj pussycat! Hi, Hal! (12:14am)
michael j fox: i got no elvis in me.... (12:14am)
Alan B.: "Bob!" (12:14am)
Alan B.: Hi, KrOB! Hi, "Pete!" (12:16am)
Alan B.: Hey! No talking in the background! (12:17am)
Alan B.: "Why is someone talking in the background?" (12:17am)
Alan B.: The Ask Dr. Hal Show: "Get down on your knees!" (12:18am)
Alan B.: "Per capita in yer assita." (12:21am)
Alan B.: "Hi, Oblivion! How's the wife and kids?!" (12:22am)
Alan B.: If I could call in, I would ask: "Was Dr. Hal disappointed when the X-ists failed to show for a 17th striaght year?" (12:23am)
Alan B.: Take my reloadio! (12:24am)
Alan B.: Put down the laptop! (12:25am)
vj pussycat: hi alan b (12:25am)
vj pussycat: welcome back dr hal (12:27am)
Alan B.: I had to pee, so I got up. (12:34am)
Alan B.: (I donated $35 to the Church in Dr. Hal's name, but that's okay . . . " (12:34am)
Alan B.: Okay, I'll send RV another check. (12:35am)
Alan B.: Wait, say that again, slower. . . (12:39am)
Alan B.: Wait, say THAT again, slower. (12:42am)
Alan B.: Reloadio secrets . . . (12:44am)
e_yazel: of course, this is the hidden pretext of Taxi Driver, that he is in a Faustian hell, but in the heart of mid-70s Manhattan! (12:45am)
Alan B.: Those are worthy, ritual answers and the effort will be compensated, as we tithe to the true church for answers we already know. (12:46am)
e_yazel: everyone will be on facebook when "it" happens (12:46am)
Alan B.: Thanks, fellows! (12:47am)
Alan B.: Hi, Earl! (12:47am)
Alan B.: Since I'm always on Facebook, that's a good bet. (12:48am)
Alan B.: I just got up at 3 a.m., that's my best material given the circumstances. (12:48am)
e_yazel: tell 'em about that Roman Popery Latin, Hal!!!!! (12:59am)
e_yazel: you tell em (12:59am)
Alan B.: Au revoir. (1:03am)
e_yazel: Boz Scaggs.. ha ha ha... (1:03am)
e_yazel: he's the litmus of annoying popular "cool" culture to Hal.... (1:04am)
e_yazel: you mentioned Boz Scaggs during the sign0off!!! (1:06am)
e_yazel: 'during the anthem!!! (1:07am)
vj pussycat: is this storytellers? (1:07am)
Alan B.: Lido . . . whoa, woah, woah. (1:07am)
vj pussycat: great impression alan b (1:07am)
Alan B.: That dirty, dirty, dirty low down. (1:07am)
Alan B.: Thank goodness Mr. and Mrs. Scaggs named thier son Boz. (1:08am)
e_yazel: you talked about 'cool people or something, Hal, and then yu mentioned Boz Scaggs! don't you even,... remember? (1:08am)
e_yazel: oh, kids still say "scagg" (1:09am)
Alan B.: I wonder, wonder, wonder, wonder who? (1:09am)
e_yazel: do describe a "loose woman" (1:09am)
vj pussycat: scaggs albertsons (1:10am)
Alan B.: One more wine cooler and they'll be rolling out "Brandy" by Looking Glass. (1:10am)
vj pussycat: kiko met brandy I think (1:10am)
e_yazel: we're the reason you do this. I've been wondering. (1:10am)
e_yazel: kids still say "scagg" to describe "slutty" girls. (1:11am)
vj pussycat: scum + hag = scagg (1:12am)
e_yazel: Columbia never released it, they were busy pressing Boz Scaggs. (1:12am)
Alan B.: KrOB, this is a sweet, sweet extended live Boz jam. (1:12am)
e_yazel: yeah. Sweet. Now play The Sweet. "Ballroom Blitz" (1:13am)
Alan B.: Hadron tiem? (1:14am)
e_yazel: Blck Santa Scaggs. (1:14am)
Alan B.: I would love to hear that, Earl. (1:14am)
e_yazel: it's immediaely available online. don't treat this like some request station. these are artistes (1:15am)
Alan B.: Hunger artists. (1:15am)
e_yazel: however, he is playing some sort of live Boz Scaggs concert, yes. (1:15am)
e_yazel: oh, fuck off! (1:16am)
Alan B.: Chat box, turn in your badge and gun! (1:16am)
e_yazel: heh heh (1:16am)
e_yazel: Bat Chox. (1:16am)
e_yazel: Boz Scaggs and the Bat Chox. (1:17am)
e_yazel: Afterburn (1:18am)
Alan B.: Gloop Hub. (1:18am)
e_yazel: oh, this is a sad song. (1:18am)
e_yazel: "Time, look what you've done to me (1:19am)
Alan B.: Chrontracter talk. (1:20am)
vj pussycat: it must be NHLG (1:21am)
Alan B.: Hey, I paid $35, I want a saucer. (1:21am)
e_yazel: chrontracter... heh... (1:21am)
Alan B.: Gimmie "Bob!" (1:21am)
e_yazel: okay here's a question... (1:22am)
e_yazel: how long have you known Boz Saggs? (1:22am)
Saggz: MC or DJ? (1:23am)
e_yazel: play that popular song. you know the one. (1:24am)
e_yazel: you need a drink.. of coffee. (1:25am)
e_yazel: Major Major Major Major (1:26am)
Alan B.: Gay picnic. (1:26am)
e_yazel: Tell Them Willie Boy is Here (1:26am)
e_yazel: Circus World starring John Wayne (1:27am)
e_yazel: yeah, who needs money? (1:28am)
e_yazel: Jimmy Stewart as a euthanistic clown (1:29am)
Alan B.: 10 Most Horrific Circus Accidents In History http://bit.ly/1nVWNhG (1:30am)
e_yazel: Winterland (1:30am)
e_yazel: WInterland East. WInterland West (1:30am)
vj pussycat: wintergarden (1:31am)
e_yazel: i cannot look at those sorts of things. Circus accidents? I am really a wimp about internet stuff like that. (1:31am)
e_yazel: I suppose I ought toovercome and seek out these gruesome things. (1:32am)
e_yazel: Hey, Hal.. talk about Noah al you want!! (1:32am)
Alan B.: Slower . . . (1:32am)
Alan B.: Incest in the Bible http://bit.ly/1nVWSSz (1:32am)
e_yazel: John Houston's The Bible.. IN the Beginnng... (1:33am)
e_yazel: they have a great Noahg sequence in that, that entire movie is great. (1:33am)
Alan B.: The Talmud suggests that Ham may have sodomized Noah (1:34am)
e_yazel: I have aplace with the saucers, but I would have to be there to meet them to save time and I have to wait for certain others to get right, it's like the Buddha thing. (1:34am)
Alan B.: How does he make his voice DO that?! (1:35am)
Alan B.: Lot and his daughters (1:36am)
Alan B.: Genesis 19:30 And Lot went up out of Zoar, and dwelt in the mountain, and his two daughters with him; for he feared to dwell in Zoar: and he dwelt in a cave, he and his two daughters. (1:36am)
Alan B.: 31 And the firstborn said unto the younger, Our father is old, and there is not a man in the earth to come in unto us after the manner of all the earth: (1:36am)
Alan B.: 32 Come, let us make our father drink wine, and we will lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father. (1:37am)
Alan B.: 33 And they made their father drink wine that night: and the firstborn went in, and lay with her father; and he perceived not when she lay down, nor when she arose. (1:37am)
Alan B.: 34 And it came to pass on the morrow, that the firstborn said unto the younger, Behold, I lay yesternight with my father: let us make him drink wine this night also; and go thou in, and lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father. (1:37am)
e_yazel: People get too stuck on that stuff. Like people should know the real reason for the destruction of Sodom and Gommorah was their human sacrifice thing. This was the real quarrel. both the Right and Left nowadays get focused on the angel rapey thing... (1:37am)
Alan B.: 35 And they made their father drink wine that night also: and the younger arose, and lay with him; and he perceived not when she lay down, nor when she arose. (1:37am)
Alan B.: 36 Thus were both the daughters of Lot with child by their father. (1:37am)
Alan B.: The older daughter conceived Moab (Hebrew, lit., "from the father" [meh-Av]), father of the Moabites;[v.37] the younger conceived Ben-Ammi (Hebrew, lit., "Son of my people"), father of the Ammonites.[v.38] (1:37am)
Alan B.: God just doesn't destroy the world often enough anymore. (1:38am)
e_yazel: Talmud all about it! (1:39am)
Alan B.: LOL (1:39am)
Alan B.: Sounds like a good place for a cleansing fire. (1:40am)
e_yazel: well, so the passge you mention only suggests this about Ham if ne wishes to see that. It's unlikely, a modern fetishism. (1:40am)
Alan B.: T-E-C-H-D-O-U-C-H-E (1:41am)
Alan B.: It's French. (1:42am)
e_yazel: it's the Jerry typewriter tune (1:42am)
e_yazel: Jerry Lewis.. so, who is playing this Mac voice, what is it reciting? (1:43am)
Alan B.: 4:44 a.m. EST, oh sweet lawd. Goodnight! (1:44am)
e_yazel: oh, about Rand Paul in Silliclone V... yeah, yes incvite Kathy Wheveh on the showto debate Hal!!! (1:44am)
e_yazel: Have her on, why not. (1:45am)
e_yazel: Kathy Who? (1:47am)
e_yazel: what's she running for? (1:47am)
e_yazel: what post? (1:47am)
e_yazel: WHat is KROB's voting strategy? (1:49am)
e_yazel: is this a mechanism that reads thngs? (1:49am)
e_yazel: Livertarians? (1:50am)
e_yazel: they hsve an iron problem (1:51am)
vj pussycat: nighty night alan b (1:52am)
e_yazel: Marines (1:55am)
e_yazel: Rowdy Marines (1:55am)
e_yazel: Coppola's wines .. They Taste Like... Victory, You Know? (1:57am)
e_yazel: MacDuff!!! (1:58am)
e_yazel: The Scottish Play (1:58am)
e_yazel: The Method (1:59am)
e_yazel: well, it's easy..it's a sense-memory kinda thing... (1:59am)
e_yazel: hope you're paying attention.. (1:59am)
e_yazel: so, think about that time you got lost at the STate Fair.. (2:00am)
e_yazel: we're going for a fear ting, right? (2:00am)
e_yazel: this'll win you the Tony! (2:00am)
e_yazel: well, the Obie, at least... (2:01am)
e_yazel: Hal Robins Inside The Actor's Studio (2:03am)
e_yazel: Robo Dj Inside The Actor's Studio (2:06am)
e_yazel: this part since midnight is one for the archives (2:08am)
e_yazel: Sketches by "Boz" (2:09am)
e_yazel: Martin Chuzzlewhit by Charles Dickens, Sketches by "Boz" Scaggs (2:10am)
e_yazel: This makes up for the long radio absence, (2:15am)
e_yazel: Dr Hal's Mission Rave Freakout Orgy. In Hell. (2:17am)
e_yazel: Dr. Hal's Weird S.S Nazi Wicked Freakout Sideshow In Hell! (2:18am)
e_yazel: Dr, Hal's Freedom Freakout Patriot Orgy With Guns and Blood. (2:20am)
e_yazel: Dr, Hal's Libertarian Declaration Fuckfest Pynchonesque (2:22am)
e_yazel: Dr, Hal's Disney Marxist Acid Grocery Cheerleader Presentation (2:25am)

The 2014 World Cup of Ask Dr. Hal Show Substitute Host Appearances is over and the results, while completely expected, were not pretty. Despite talking a Big Game before the tournament, Dr. Fiasco appeared on the field during one match of the three. A brief examination of that appearance revealed the replaying of Dr. Fiasco's prehistoric NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND tired old sound bites, despite his declared objection to all things NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND. For tonight's final game, Puzzling Evidence scored 5 times against the absent DJ Fiasco in the first 30 minutes of play, with a cacophonous display of overdub, mash-ups, incongruous sets or clicking sounds and yammering from his co-host. Dr. Fiasco threatened repeatedly to come down to the studio and "fix" the program, but alas, mere hollow threats.

Dr. Hal will be reading this full report on his flight home...

Chatroom History
July 11, 2014 10:00pm - 1:30am

Dr. Fiasco: Is anyone in the studio? (10:16pm)
RoBo DJ: nope (10:35pm)
Only ME: ,God. (10:35pm)
RopoBotDope: Yep. (10:36pm)
Charles Manson: I roll the nickels. (10:36pm)
Jerry Lewis: Ladieeeeee (10:38pm)
Dr. Fiasco: Looks like a party in your pants! (10:41pm)
Dr. Fiasco: Everything is funnier when you throw "pants" in (10:41pm)
Hampants: are Love.... (10:43pm)
Dr. Fiasco: I AM COMING OVER (10:45pm)
Dr. Fiasco: EVRYONE WATCH OUT (10:45pm)
Hampants: I'm quaking in the Turf Club. (10:45pm)
ADHS RULES:: no starting the show at 10:45pm (10:46pm)
God: absolelutelt yy right (10:46pm)
The Show: is the show. (10:50pm)
The Show: All is Show. (10:50pm)
The Show: will consume you. (10:52pm)
Dr. Fiasco: My attorney is listening to the show and taking detailed notes (11:10pm)
Dr. Fiasco: Does the phrase "libel suit" mean anything to you? (11:12pm)
The Show: if the suit fits, fuck it.. (11:14pm)
Dr. Penny: Pete Goldie's backup girls. (11:52pm)
Dr. Penny: Dr. Fiasco'll come and overturn the tables in the Radio Valencia Temple. (11:56pm)
The Show: is no money lender. (12:23am)
The Show: Ask Dr Hal (12:54am)
The Show: is almost over.. (12:54am)

While Dr. Hal was busy attending the Gathering of the Juggalos, Radio Valencia management scrambled to find a suitable substitute.

Carrot Top was washing his hair that night and Rob Schneider had his 25th-rehab reunion and so it fell on the wide shoulders of Dr. Fiasco to keep the proverbial Ask Dr. Hal caravan moving on while the dogs bark by the side of the road.

Chatroom History
July 4, 2014 10:00pm - 1:30am

DrPantzFunkley: good evening (10:05pm)
DrPantzFunkley: is this an x-day show? (10:06pm)
soundbyte: ..this is fun to listen to on a night like tonight http://bit.ly/VMKeLu (10:06pm)
soundbyte: http://bit.ly/VMKeLu (10:07pm)
DrPantzFunkley: it's gorgeous 4th of july (10:07pm)
soundbyte: is scansf.com (10:07pm)
DrPantzFunkley: but what year is it? (10:07pm)
DrPantzFunkley: greetings and salutations dr fiasco (10:08pm)
DrPantzFunkley: they went crazy with the fireworks in st louis (10:09pm)
soundbyte: ...the Fireworks outside sounds like it would if the country did indeed have legalized 'Purge' ...Like the Movie (10:10pm)
DrPantzFunkley: very enjoyable episode tonight, i am diggin it (10:32pm)
vj pussycat: did dr fiasco make it this week? (10:41pm)
Dr. Fiasco: Howdy everyone, good evening (10:47pm)
Dr. Fiasco: Loosen your seatbelts and let us go (10:47pm)
DrPantzFunkley: excellent sonic exploration tonight Dr (10:49pm)
vj pussycat: Yay dr fiasco! (10:49pm)
Karen Carpenter: just tuning in now... can you start over? (10:50pm)
DrPantzFunkley: hah (10:54pm)
DrPantzFunkley: hooray (10:54pm)
A Kind Stranger: What's with the talking over talking? (10:59pm)
A Kind Stranger: There's dialogue happening over dialogue. (10:59pm)
DrPantzFunkley: that's how this party rolls (11:01pm)
vj pussycat: hey sorry dr, I couldn't make it. I'm in the woods with bran and kyle (11:33pm)
Dr. Fiasco: So, let me ask you did that make sense? (11:52pm)
Dr. Fiasco: Is it any clearer now? (11:52pm)

It was a hard fought match, but eventually it was no contest as Dr. Fiasco forfeited the game at exactly 1pm Friday. What followed was a conscious effort at overlapping background sounds, talking over each other, yammering and logger-yee-ha. No Dr. Hals were harmed in the making of this reloadio podcast.

Chatroom History
June 27, 2014 10:00pm - 2:30am

Alan B.: 2700 Seconds (10:23pm)
Alan B.: I didn't miss technical adjustments, yeah. (10:23pm)
Alan B.: Dr. Fiasco is very quiet. (10:25pm)
Alan B.: Mitzi Shore: Not dead. (10:30pm)
vj pussycat: Ha I confuse Tulsa and cate too! (10:33pm)
Alan B.: Put the yammer down, good buddy! (10:33pm)
Alan B.: It was one year ago that Hal was first hurt. (10:33pm)
Alan B.: Stray Cats - (She's) Sexy & 17 http://bit.ly/1vg4P57 (10:35pm)
vj pussycat: where is dr fiasco (10:38pm)
Alan B.: Hi, vj pussycat! I think Dr. Fiasco is 2700 seconds late. (10:39pm)
vj pussycat: he sounds French now (10:40pm)
Alan B.: He sounds like a Frenchman who got hit in the skull. (10:40pm)
vj pussycat: That's the canada factor (10:41pm)
Alan B.: Will the whippit bulbs be smackin' the console? (10:41pm)
Alan B.: The Canuck Effect (10:41pm)
vj pussycat: Canuck Canuck (10:42pm)
vj pussycat: Canuck Canuck Canuck (10:42pm)
Alan B.: Too many laptops (10:44pm)
Alan B.: She's on nitrous. (10:44pm)
Alan B.: Flying Saucers - this print depicts 400 hits that were originally issued circa 1980. http://bit.ly/1vg60l2 (10:46pm)
Alan B.: REEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLDDDDDDDDDDD IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOgo rrhea (10:48pm)
Alan B.: Online liberatrians will die screaming come the revolution. (10:49pm)
Alan B.: Hey, we're 600 seconds late switching to the next discrete, isolated laptop sound. (10:50pm)
Alan B.: DJ Q Bert - Freestyle (all that scratching is making me itch) http://bit.ly/1vg6Cad (10:52pm)
Alan B.: Norway the hard way. (10:52pm)
Alan B.: Robots in disguise (10:54pm)
Alan B.: LOAD DAT WHIPPIT. (10:56pm)
Alan B.: Meh. I'm too bored to dial. (10:57pm)
Alan B.: Where is Dr. Fiasco, tho? (11:01pm)
Alan B.: 2700 (11:01pm)
Alan B.: moo hoo haa haa haaaaaa! (11:01pm)
vj pussycat: Maybe he's sleeping (11:02pm)
Alan B.: He's 2700 percent sleeping. (11:02pm)
Alan B.: KrOB's last show featuring REM was most excellent. (11:03pm)
Alan B.: HE HAD ONE JOB. (11:03pm)
Alan B.: And don't forget the re-enactments of Pat Novak for Hire. (11:05pm)
Alan B.: This show is hurting H.A.L. and he doesn't even know it. (11:06pm)
Alan B.: He can't listen because he is working off his plane ticket by coallating SubGenius minister packets at the Stang's. (11:07pm)
Alan B.: Fuck that guy. (11:08pm)
Alan B.: Annnnnnnnnnnd vj pussycat. (11:09pm)
vj pussycat: I'm here (11:09pm)
Alan B.: I refuse to call. (11:09pm)
vj pussycat: Maybe in a bit. Doing something now (11:09pm)
Alan B.: A History of Michael Bay's Gay Jokes http://bit.ly/1vg6Cad (11:21pm)
Alan B.: Max Headroom broadcast signal intrusion http://bit.ly/1obVbzh (11:23pm)
Alan B.: Video: Max Headroom 1987 Broadcast Signal Intrusion Incident http://bit.ly/1obVdas (11:24pm)
Alan B.: Everyone else will be Dr. Fiasco's bitch. (11:24pm)
Alan B.: The listeners want anal retention. (11:25pm)
Alan B.: Jesus, Christ, Pete, (11:27pm)
Alan B.: I want to take the computer (11:27pm)
Alan B.: away and fix it. (11:28pm)
vj pussycat: I miss enlightened (11:39pm)
Ho-Door: Behind theGreenDoor.com (11:49pm)
BehindTheGreenHo-Door: .com (11:49pm)
C'mon,: sputterflies are free, also. (12:05am)
C'mon,: Crackers are free, too. (12:05am)
C'mon,: Damage is frree,to. (12:06am)
C'mon,: on a drone. (12:06am)
C'mon,: , in a drone. (12:23am)
Alan B.: EAT SLEEP PITCH REPEAT (12:24am)
Alan B.: G'nite (12:44am)
And, : not one Dr Hal quote... (12:50am)
The Post Office: thanks you for the US Mail quote. (12:51am)
The Audience: Is this Ask Dr Hal 2? (12:52am)
Heavenly Father: Pray for End Of Show Now... (12:53am)
RevBabyBear: Was that Ask Doctor Hal?! WTF?! (12:54am)
The Drugs: Do US!!!!!! (12:55am)
The Drugs: Dead People (1:01am)
The Drugs: Listen and see us. (1:02am)
The Drugs: And, turn it up.... (1:04am)

Courtesy of Firesign Theatre archivist Taylor Jessen, this Friday, Ask Dr. Hal! will include classic ranting from Nate Eagle, a carny talker who worked for Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey, far from being anything like "politically correct," but an amazing series of reminiscences about the Big Shows of times gone by, including the All-Midget Sideshow, "Pickled Punks" and Nudist camps, not to mention Jo-Jo, the Dog-Faced Boy. Columbia stored this material in its vaults but never released the (LP) record. He tells numerous tales of carny life and recapitulates many of his actual "pitches" from memory. Though you can hear a very little of this stuff on the Firesign Theatre's Duke of Madness Motors LP reissue, the bulk of it has never been broadcast anywhere. Not for the thin-skinned, but only Phil Proctor has the other extant dub of this amazing revelation into the showmanship of the past. An invaluable historical document which needs to be heard to be believed. And, Ladies and Gents, tonight's show offers numerous other recondite pleasures. Come One, Come All-- now step forward-- if you dare!

Chatroom History
June 20, 2014 10:00pm - 1:30am

nunu nignig: Contract Killers -- Starring : Lee Van Cleef, Clint Eastwood, John Wayne -- Double-crossed by SubGenii he trusted, hit man Hal Robins ( John Wayne ) becomes the target of assassins ( Doug Wellman : Clint Eastwood & Philo Drummond : Lee Van Cleef ) -- so begins a ruthless game of kill or be killed. (11:55pm)
nunu nignig: kill or be killed. (11:55pm)
nunu nignig: Understand that there are certain hidden dimensons of Dr Hal that we shall never know. Meanwhile, Now is time to save the Future, and to put an End to the Past. Invest in Dr Hal Victory Chits -- Help SubGenii Win vs the Pinks ! (11:56pm)
nunu nignig: Google Tried To Ban This Shocking Radio Program ! Click Here Now To Listen Before It's Too Late ! LEGAL / TWITTER / FACEBOOK / HOME / ADVERTISE / DOWNLOADS / LINKS / CONTACT (11:58pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: The Sundial strikes 11 pm on Friday. Dr Hal Robins, be Radio Valencia. Never-as-planned Cheap Thralls, yes, and emotive intellections advanced as an immediate philosophy of theophratic concommitance of beauty and cannibalism. (11:59pm)
zzz: censored (12:02am)
Dr. Penny: Is this peanut butter which I see before me? (12:13am)

On Friday the 13th, at the full of the moon, with only one working CD changer tray in the studio, Dr. Hal related the story of how Ceyx and Halcyone were both transformed into birds. Raided by Puzzling Evidence, KrOB and Sherilyn Connelly, the show benefited not from their participation; instead, they kibitzed, shouted and tried to disrupt the proceedings. But Zeus, the All-Father, took pity on Dr. Hal, and sent two demi-goddesses, Sarah Szczechowicz and Lisa Vincenti, to add to the conversational colloquy and cover the clumsy, ham-handed CD changes with their gentle tones. Dr. Hal blushed with pride-- or was that redness but a remnant of his recent intense, all-over Solar exposure in the far-off Petrolian Paradise?

Chatroom History
June 13, 2014 10:00pm - 1:30am

Alan B.: Variety is the spice of life. (10:15pm)
Alan B.: If they make it past the dinosarus, LIES will kill htem. (10:19pm)
Alan B.: That is TRUE! I have always had one. (10:21pm)
Alan B.: Stan Freberg 45s (10:23pm)
Alan B.: Angel and Devil bobbleheads (10:24pm)
Alan B.: Casper the Friendly Ghost comics (10:25pm)
Alan B.: Baby Godzilla Film Series Statues (10:28pm)
vj pussycat: dead air (10:31pm)
Alan B.: Dead air is just fine. (10:31pm)
vj pussycat: nevermind (10:31pm)
Alan B.: Dead Air is Church Air (10:31pm)
vj pussycat: praise (10:31pm)
Alan B.: /%u02C8si%u02D0.%u026Aks/; (10:54pm)
Alan B.: Shoot, the chatterbox won't reproduce the pronunciation (10:54pm)
Alan B.: Try here: http://bit.ly/1ved57v (10:54pm)
Alan B.: /si:Iks/ (10:55pm)
Alan B.: "Bob" our laxitive, we shall not want. (11:19pm)
Alan B.: NO LAPTOPS (11:22pm)
Alan B.: HADRONS INTERDIT (11:23pm)
Alan B.: Mickey Mouse and Memonic Mouse (11:27pm)
Alan B.: Hiya, Z! (11:44pm)
Alan B.: NIEN VERBOTEN NO LAPTOPS (11:45pm)
Alan B.: Monster (11:47pm)
Alan B.: Don't hurt H.A.L.! (11:48pm)
Dr. Penny: The marine scene gathering. How many magic cards does that require? (11:50pm)
Alan B.: From the halls of Montezuma . . (11:51pm)
Alan B.: Thy will be done, KrOB (11:54pm)
Dr. Penny: Head extensions. (11:57pm)
Alan B.: Spin and Marty (11:59pm)
EarlEarlEarlEarlEarl: Ah, a harem for Hal. He's doing just fine, then. (12:00am)
Dr. Penny: As it should be. (12:00am)
Alan B.: 72 virgins (12:01am)
EarlEarlEarlEarlEarl: well, let's not exagerrate. in any manner. (12:03am)
EarlEarlEarlEarlEarl: Exaggerate. (12:03am)
Dr. Penny: White lightening in a bottle (12:06am)
EarlEarlEarlEarlEarl: Hal's problem regarding other people's children and being concerned is common. It takes a Greenwich Village. (12:06am)
EarlEarlEarlEarlEarl: It Takes A Village Idiot (12:06am)
Dr. Penny: Put it in the flea-hopper. (12:08am)
Dr. Penny: Her own light at the end of the tunnel. (12:11am)
EarlEarlEarlEarlEarl: The bear she speaks of was a spirit-being. (12:11am)
vj pussycat: it wasn't a chipmunk? (12:12am)
EarlEarlEarlEarlEarl: Apparently it was an animal of the bruin variety. (12:14am)
EarlEarlEarlEarlEarl: That woman's lucky she wasn't (12:14am)
EarlEarlEarlEarlEarl: unless it was a racoon. (12:14am)
Dr. Penny: A praying chip makes it a salt of the earth monk. (12:15am)
EarlEarlEarlEarlEarl: what is she saying? Two bears were sitting around listening to Fox news??? (12:16am)
EarlEarlEarlEarlEarl: In a campground? (12:16am)
Dr. Penny: ...as you look out the window. (12:18am)
EarlEarlEarlEarlEarl: Maybe she means they were "bears" like old jargon for hairy old gay men. (12:18am)
EarlEarlEarlEarlEarl: This feed keeps dropping out. SOmehow these bears they're discussing were brought to Moscow. (12:20am)
Dr. Penny: But are bears Putin's favorite kind of lover? (12:21am)
Alan B.: Proximity effect (12:21am)
Alan B.: Vanilla waivers (12:22am)
EarlEarlEarlEarlEarl: Mr. Putin's favorite kind of lover is himself. (12:23am)
Alan B.: Proximity effect (audio) http://bit.ly/JegpNi%28audio%29 (12:23am)
Alan B.: Depending on the microphone design, proximity effect may result in a boost of up to 6 dB, depending on the size of the microphone's diaphragm and the distance of the source. (12:23am)
EarlEarlEarlEarlEarl: Sez you. (12:24am)
Dr. Penny: Vanilla bears prefer the missionary position. (12:24am)
Alan B.: It bears repeating (12:25am)
Karen Carpenter: "honey moon" grrrr (12:25am)
Alan B.: The Listener (12:26am)
Alan B.: IT'S FALLING TO THE GROUND IT'S CRASHING IT'S CRASHING OH THE HUMANITY (12:26am)
Karen Carpenter: my eyes worked better (12:28am)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/1luudmj (12:29am)
Karen Carpenter: Ed Gein Conferences (12:29am)
Alan B.: The Foundation Trilogy (12:31am)
Alan B.: Anyway, ta! (12:33am)

While Dr. Hal was away, frolicking with the laughing, splashing, unclothed Naiads in the Mattole River near Petrolia, California, mysterious, anonymous individuals entered the Radio Valencia studio by surreptitious means and commandeered the show. The motivation for the actions of these invaders has not yet determined; quondam guests KrOB, Sherilyn Connelly and Puzzling Evidence are on the case.

Chatroom History
June 6, 2014 10:00pm - 1:30am

Alan B.: Sub http://bit.ly/1mZsljq (10:01pm)
Alan B.: H. A. L. (10:13pm)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/1mZsHXz (10:14pm)
Alan B.: Are you the Wolfman? http://bit.ly/1mZsW4G (10:22pm)
Alan B.: "I'm not a young man anymore. (10:25pm)
Alan B.: no accepted medical use (10:28pm)
Alan B.: le spectacle commence maintenant http://bit.ly/1mZtgAs (10:31pm)
Communist Quisling: Leave me alone, Ronald Reagan! (10:35pm)
Alan B.: Dat tape squeal . . . (10:36pm)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/1mZtwiS (10:37pm)
Alan B.: H. A. L. explains SLACK http://bit.ly/1mZtyaC (10:37pm)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/1jTN9Is (10:39pm)
Alan B.: Puce schlag on a sausage fest and no star (10:44pm)
Alan B.: Post Post http://bit.ly/1mZtXKh (10:49pm)
Alan B.: Koch http://bit.ly/1mZu7B7 (10:54pm)
Alan B.: "If you're interested in broadcasting, you've come to the right party." (10:55pm)
Alan B.: Motorhead - Jailbait http://bit.ly/1mZus6T (11:02pm)
Alan B.: E. S. R. P. http://bit.ly/1dCP7IT (11:03pm)
Alan B.: durr (11:04pm)
Alan B.: Eat Sleep Rave Pete (11:07pm)
Alan B.: Sorry, KrOB, the muse has yet to find me. But I will do eeet. (11:09pm)
Alan B.: Ooooooh?! (11:10pm)
Alan B.: I think I may have to go beyond the CityGardents canon. (11:11pm)
Dr. Penny: krob & sherilyn rocking the ask dr. hal show (11:14pm)
DrPantzFunkley: how's it going? (11:16pm)
DrPantzFunkley: greetings to all my sub Gs (11:16pm)
DrPantzFunkley: Dr Hal, are you ready for this years X Day? (11:16pm)
Alan B.: Venom - 7th Date of Hell 1984 part 8/10 http://bit.ly/1mZuUCg (11:16pm)
DrPantzFunkley: Have an idea for what you are going to do artisticly tpo (11:17pm)
DrPantzFunkley: the pie? (11:17pm)
Alan B.: Hey, Pantz, send Stang plane monies for H. A. L. or he ain't going. (11:17pm)
Alan B.: I was tripping on the old school "Rated GP." (11:18pm)
DrPantzFunkley: dr penny are you in the studio? (11:18pm)
DrPantzFunkley: stang already sent him his plane tickets (11:18pm)
Alan B.: Oh, H. A. L., such whinging (11:18pm)
DrPantzFunkley: i am going to stream dr hal and do some beta testing of survarium (11:19pm)
Alan B.: Good to knoa. (11:19pm)
DrPantzFunkley: stalker lives on (11:19pm)
Alan B.: I would go but I can't. (11:20pm)
Alan B.: I'm annoyed about it. (11:21pm)
DrPantzFunkley: the problem is that it's over the 4th of July, and I host our family's 4th party, and it's pretty big (11:21pm)
DrPantzFunkley: i won't be able to get to an X Day for quite some time i am afraid (11:21pm)
DrPantzFunkley: but i may lose out if the saucers come (11:21pm)
DrPantzFunkley: ;p (11:21pm)
Alan B.: Right?! (11:22pm)
Alan B.: July 4 is not cool if you have family and stuff. (11:22pm)
DrPantzFunkley: do you ever listen to DJ Meow and the Music Dept on Thursdays at 2 pm San Fran time (11:22pm)
Alan B.: I'm working then. :( But I can podcast? I'm afraid to take any more shows, this is eating my life. (11:23pm)
Dr. Penny: Dr. pf, I aint. (11:23pm)
Dr. Penny: Livin' it up though through x-d. (11:25pm)
Alan B.: Squirm http://bit.ly/1mZvi3D (11:26pm)
Alan B.: Baby Metal? (11:28pm)
Alan B.: Tracy Ullman is a fucking genius. (11:29pm)
Alan B.: Mr. President 'Language Barrier' http://bit.ly/1mZvoIp (11:30pm)
Alan B.: ^^^ I'm certain this is tragically awful. (11:30pm)
Alan B.: CONRAD FUCKING BAIN! (11:30pm)
Alan B.: And mai waifu. Madeline Kahn. (11:31pm)
DrPantzFunkley: dj meow is just music (11:32pm)
DrPantzFunkley: it's worth the download, she's great (11:32pm)
DrPantzFunkley: who is in the studio? (11:32pm)
DrPantzFunkley: KRob and some guest (11:32pm)
DrPantzFunkley: no Dr Hal right (11:32pm)
DrPantzFunkley: i just remembered that (11:32pm)
Alan B.: Thanks for the tout. There are zillions of podcasts and I don't have time for randomness. (11:33pm)
Alan B.: Dr. H. A. L. is testing Crisco this evening. (11:34pm)
DrPantzFunkley: man, the beta test isn't going well, the lag is pretty brutal (11:34pm)
Alan B.: Cylons hate popsicles. (11:35pm)
DrPantzFunkley: i had bomb pops tonight (11:35pm)
DrPantzFunkley: they were great' (11:35pm)
Alan B.: The ones with gumballs in the bottom? (11:35pm)
Alan B.: Nina Blackwood looked icky. (11:35pm)
Alan B.: I totally wanted Martha Quinn's perky babies. (11:36pm)
DrPantzFunkley: i liked down town julie brown (11:37pm)
Alan B.: The Wisdom of Lou Reed (Blue in the Face) http://bit.ly/1mZvH69 (11:38pm)
Alan B.: That fuckin' 'fro. (11:38pm)
Alan B.: That jingle packge will help your quarter-hour maintenance. (11:42pm)
Alan B.: GODDAMN JOHN CAFFERTY!! (11:42pm)
Alan B.: That side is dark. http://bit.ly/1mZvUX2 (11:43pm)
Alan B.: John Cafferty and the Beaver Brown Band Years active 1972%u2013present ?!?!?! (11:44pm)
Alan B.: Yammering (11:45pm)
John Cafferty: What did I ever do to you? (11:45pm)
Alan B.: You were the evil Springsteen twin. (11:45pm)
Alan B.: Also Eddie & the Cruisers (11:46pm)
Alan B.: Which I saw first run during my misspent youth. (11:47pm)
Alan B.: How I didn't kill myself in 1985, I have no idea. Thankfully, I started abusing marijuana full time not long afterwards. (11:48pm)
Alan B.: Col. Parker was an illegal alien. (11:50pm)
Tom Parker: So's your mother. -- Signed, The Colonel (11:51pm)
Alan B.: What I loved about Col. Tom was he got 50 percent of the revenue for doing nothign, then when Elvis invested with him he took ANOTHER 50 percent. (11:51pm)
vj pussycat: where's hal? (11:52pm)
vj pussycat: portola? (11:52pm)
Alan B.: Obsessive H. A. L. tracking NOW. (11:52pm)
vj pussycat: this show reminds me of NHLG (11:53pm)
DrPantzFunkley: good LSD was around during the 80s (11:53pm)
Alan B.: I have a Gantt chart to fill, make with the H. A. L. project elements. (11:53pm)
DrPantzFunkley: are you using micorsoft plan to do it? (11:53pm)
Alan B.: I age a fuckton of fairly nasty acid in the early 90s. I'm convinced it was all strychnine. (11:54pm)
Alan B.: ate (11:54pm)
DrPantzFunkley: did you ever get the jesus christ something or other that went around in the mid 90s (11:54pm)
vj pussycat: i ate a ton of acid just now (11:54pm)
Alan B.: Yes, Pantz, it is important to use only properly activated Genuine Microsoft Products. (11:54pm)
vj pussycat: fuckton (11:55pm)
DrPantzFunkley: where did you get your acid (11:55pm)
Alan B.: No, some liquid that was fairly good, then some blank blotter. (11:55pm)
Alan B.: What are you, the FBI? (11:55pm)
vj pussycat: acid r us (11:55pm)
vj pussycat: microdots, pyramid gels, snowflake and blotter (11:57pm)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/1mZwpAu (11:58pm)
Alan B.: boo (11:58pm)
Alan B.: Krystle ate all the acid (11:59pm)
vj pussycat: trippin for hours in a tunnel sounds fantastic (11:59pm)
DrPantzFunkley: i have found it much harder to get lsd these days (12:01am)
DrPantzFunkley: and i am looking for some (12:01am)
DrPantzFunkley: no, i am not the fbi (12:01am)
Alan B.: I certainly don't know, I'm high on "Bob" (12:01am)
DrPantzFunkley: but i am invloved with intelligence (12:01am)
DrPantzFunkley: i got a new batch for frop today and it's really effing good (12:02am)
Alan B.: I have babies, I need to stay out of her majesty's service (12:02am)
vj pussycat: what's frop (12:03am)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/1mZwBj3. (12:03am)
Alan B.: Inhaling burnt vegetable matter is never a healthy practice. If you want to get "high," as the youth parlance goes, we would suggest 'Frop, instead. It CAN be smoked, but is so strong that it doesn't really require ignition. It kills just as many irrelevant brain cells, but spares the all important lung tissue. (12:04am)
Alan B.: all important lung tissue. (12:04am)
Alan B.: H. to the A. to the L. (12:05am)
Alan B.: We have crossed the terminator and entered into a new day. (12:05am)
vj pussycat: ah a subgenii thing (12:06am)
Alan B.: We need to create a Dr. H. A. L. algorithm, so that when he is no longer making radio on this plane we will still have all of the boilerplate stuff. (12:06am)
Alan B.: I really loved Big Audio Dynamite. (12:06am)
vj pussycat: like they did with ebert (12:07am)
vj pussycat: they were bad (12:07am)
Alan B.: YES, VJPussycat, as with St. Ebert, we must create H. A. L. engrams and have his samples at our fingertips. (12:07am)
vj pussycat: brilliant plan, alan b, you must get started immediately (12:08am)
Alan B.: The horses are on the track. http://bit.ly/1mZwJza (12:08am)
Alan B.: Okay, I really need to make that soundboard. (12:09am)
vj pussycat: daisy (12:13am)
Alan B.: Absolutely do that. (12:18am)
Alan B.: The New Adventures of Old Pedro. (12:20am)
Alan B.: Hey, you're playing the Beaver Brown Band, cool. (12:21am)
Dr. Penny: Duck & cover. (12:24am)
Alan B.: F. E. T. (12:29am)
Alan B.: Hammer and popsickels (12:34am)
Alan B.: Early 60s culture hero convergence. (12:36am)
Alan B.: KrOB and guest (12:39am)
Alan B.: That fan chain is fucking TOAST! (12:39am)
Alan B.: I think we need a way to have Wellman pull the bullets out of "Bob's" chest and install them back in his pistol. (12:40am)
Alan B.: DIABEETUS http://bit.ly/1k5owpW (12:42am)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/1k5oE94 (12:43am)
vj pussycat: alan b, I can't believe you're still awake (12:54am)
vj pussycat: are you gonna make it through the whole show?! (12:55am)
vj pussycat: hey y'all, don't forget to play the national anthem (12:56am)
Alan B.: I gotta bal, 4 am.. (1:08am)

In this episode we avidly devour the canned mytho-poetry of processed enchantment. Just listening to this broadcast can, in some cases, un-tether the unwary auditor from an Earthbound existence-- and leave him, her or it at the mercy of a raging Greater Cosmos. But it's all in fun-- good, clean fun. Bon appetit!

Chatroom History
May 30, 2014 10:00pm - 1:30am

Karen Carpenter: what going on here then? (10:44pm)
Alan B.: What does this have to do with Atlantis? (10:50pm)
Karen Carpenter: ZZZZZZZZZZ (10:51pm)
Larry Carpenter: It's one channel radio.... het over it (10:51pm)
Karen Carpenter: actually, I'm not zzzzzzzzz (10:51pm)
Steve Carpenter: and I'm not xxxxxxx. (10:52pm)
Karen Carpenter: canadians (10:52pm)
Alan B.: Now I understand low power. (10:52pm)
Harvey Carpenter: solo yolo (10:53pm)
Bill Carpenter: holo kapolo (10:53pm)
Horn Harpenter: Ahoy! (10:53pm)
Jesus Carpenter: hola (10:53pm)
Goofy God: Pitula Clerk! (10:54pm)
John Carpenter: What am I doing here?! (10:55pm)
Jesus Carpenter: quien is in the RV place, mister? (10:55pm)
Alan B.: "To Serve Man." Sad trombone. (10:55pm)
Richard Carpenter: now I'm hungry (10:55pm)
Bitter Water Carpenter: And I am free. (10:56pm)
Alan B.:: If I were a Carpenter... (10:57pm)
Alan B.: For few bacon-wrapped hotdogs more (10:57pm)
Karen Carpenter: considering making a reservation on a WWII concentration camp RV park right now (10:58pm)
Karen Carpenter: nad I'm not talking KAO (10:58pm)
WW 2: Ghosts are be found here.... (10:58pm)
WW 2: and the concentration camp RV were pretty sad... (10:59pm)
Alan B.: Stop hurting George Takei (11:00pm)
Karen Carpenter: now on the RV Listener Pic (11:02pm)
Alan B.: LOL bacon wrapped humies (11:05pm)
Alan B.: That looks like fun. (11:08pm)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/1kg0soI (11:13pm)
Karen Carpenter: http://bit.ly/1kg0XiP (11:15pm)
Karen Carpenter: now what's happeneing? (11:19pm)
Karen Carpenter: 1:15am (11:22pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: live ... but moribund ... somebody help you, please (11:22pm)
Mic Gods: plez dont not hurt hal (11:25pm)
Mohammad Carpenter: why does KrOB hate Hal? (11:26pm)
Bug King: repeat please (11:26pm)
Glenn Carpenter: Swing, baby, swing!! (11:26pm)
All Microphones: hate Hal. (11:27pm)
InterStallar, Empire, CA: We Don't want You. (11:28pm)
The Whole School: Then, You can't sit with Us. (11:29pm)
Fosmo: lev me outta this! (11:30pm)
Fosmo: hee heeee! (11:31pm)
Bug King: Censorship on Radio Valencia Chatterbox -- how beautifully artistic.... thank you... (11:31pm)
Bug King: Thank Me. (11:32pm)
Bug Queen: Hey, whats about ME!? (11:32pm)
Me: Okay... (11:33pm)
Bug King: I forgive myself (11:33pm)
Bug Politician: I eat myself. (11:34pm)
Bug King: probably too many people upload comments at same timeto (11:34pm)
Bug King: plugs the system (11:34pm)
Bug King: kill myself thank you please (11:34pm)
The Audience: Yes, Like That Is Going To Ever Happen. (11:34pm)
The Audience: Ypu can't escape the music... (11:35pm)
Bug King: www.NoMoreFakeShow.com ... I had left this Show long ago. Left its symbols, plots, machinations, madness, its masters and slaves. The phony continuum abandoned for better antennae. (11:35pm)
Alien: Sure (11:36pm)
Bug King: I had left the clogged gutter of overacted emotions, preprogrammed responses, the fevered Needful Thing of the group, whining and complaining, and the morbid pretensions. (11:36pm)
Bug King: I had seen the labyrinth of Show, and I exited it, stage left. (11:36pm)
Bug King: But my Freedom brings return, if I will. Freedom to come back and go, again and enow. (11:36pm)
Alien: Bug out it did... (11:36pm)
Bug King: So I returned %u2026 as a Listener. (11:36pm)
Bug King: especially the %u2026 (11:37pm)
Alien: and imitgrated back (11:37pm)
Alan B.: Bloop! Fell asleep. (11:37pm)
Alien: OH NO PETE GOLDIE!!! (11:37pm)
Thank: it at it (11:38pm)
Alan B.: Anna Log (11:38pm)
Pete Goldie: I'm in the radoioioioi (11:38pm)
Pete Goldie: Back he is coming (11:39pm)
Pete Goldie: He's not a doctor (11:39pm)
Pete Goldie: Don't listen to that guy on the phone -- I'm the real Pete Goldie, not him ! (11:39pm)
Don't : swaerar (11:40pm)
Alan B.: Now Pete won't be jealous of Dr. Hal's annual 20 weeks of vacation. (11:41pm)
Don't : be jello-is of paid stone (11:42pm)
Alan B.: There's always room for jello (11:43pm)
Pete Silver: Back up, there Show! (11:45pm)
Karen Carpenter: this traffic ouut of town is murder (11:45pm)
Pete Goldie: Don't calll tha t guy on therradio I'mthereallllguy!! (11:46pm)
Pete Goldie: I',mmm not a radioRobot! (11:46pm)
Alan B.: Robut (11:46pm)
Robutt: stop that, please. (11:47pm)
Karen Carpenter: NO2 (11:47pm)
Swahili Carpenter: ZULU! (11:47pm)
Tau Zhin: , Vacation Land! (11:48pm)
If I were a: Carpenter, and you were a lady (11:48pm)
You could do my Show: , and I don't mean maybe! (11:49pm)
Bug King: did it... (11:50pm)
Karen Carpenter: is it safe (11:50pm)
Bug King: It is Carpenter. (11:51pm)
Karen Carpenter: Sex goddesses or double your money baxck (11:52pm)
Jon Wayne: Oh, fing gtreat! (11:53pm)
Alan B: Long-hair, short hair, what the hell's the difference once the head's blown off (11:53pm)
Jon Wayne: What's Wrong? (11:53pm)
Jim Wayne: kill the lawn molar! (11:53pm)
John Wayne: was a fag. He was too, you boys! (11:54pm)
I put two-way mirrors : in his pad in Brentwood. Came to the door in a dress. (11:54pm)
Bill Wayne: X cross Dressing man (11:55pm)
Silence: did notfollow. (11:55pm)
A Fried Egg: , put one on it. (11:56pm)
Hal said: head (11:58pm)
I love this goofy : song (12:03am)
Alan B.: The mission is burning down (12:05am)
Alan B.: Oh, bother. Time for bed. (12:08am)
Dr. Penny: Just got in, been out drinking tonight. (12:33am)
Hal said:: imbroglio (12:36am)
Dr. Penny: It shall be available, by the webs. (12:43am)

When the City of Atlantis stood serene above the sea, a long time before our time when the world was free-- those were the days. An examination, from ancient texts and secondary sources, of the sea-girt isle of Poseidonis, whose mortages now are regrettably underwater. The Crown and Trident get their innings, while Atlantaean scandals are outed. But not the old Shell Game.

Chatroom History
May 23, 2014 10:00pm - 4:30am

DrPantzFunkley: pRaise bOb!!! I finally made it (10:13pm)
DrPantzFunkley: =] (10:14pm)
Filius Null: Hail Dr. Hal! (10:24pm)
EarlEarlEarlEarlEarl: hey, it is very difficult to hear you two in the midst thereof (11:15pm)
EarlEarlEarlEarlEarl: Oh my God, I need trigger warnings for any trigger warnings which may come up!! (11:19pm)
EarlEarlEarlEarlEarl: they are called "Trigger Warnings"... in honor of Roy Rogers' belovd steed, Trigger (11:20pm)
Dr. Penny: They can really trigger that finger to scratch that 7 year itch. (11:23pm)
EarlEarlEarlEarlEarl: It's all bad for you, Boys. (11:27pm)
EarlEarlEarlEarlEarl: Oh, yeah, those poor Tasmanian Devils, I've seen that. It's quite awful. (11:35pm)
EarlEarlEarlEarlEarl: Don Knotts and Matthew McConaughy in The Reluctant Astronaut Sells AZT. (11:42pm)
Recondite Pleasure: Dawn Nots (11:50pm)
jerry Lewis: Leave me out of this (11:51pm)
EarlEarlEarlEarlEarl: The Love Guru is what Hal is thinking of. A Mike Meyers vehicle. (11:51pm)
EarlEarlEarlEarlEarl: Connie Stevens is in Way, Way Out (11:52pm)
EarlEarlEarlEarlEarl: GAry Lewis and the Playboys recorded the title song of Way, Way Out. (11:53pm)
EarlEarlEarlEarlEarl: it's all no more tedious than is usual! (11:57pm)
EarlEarlEarlEarlEarl: "it's a bug hunt..." ha ha ha ha (12:00am)
Dr. Penny: Wai Wai came out after her brief visit to San Francisco. (12:01am)
EarlEarlEarlEarlEarl: who? (12:01am)
EarlEarlEarlEarlEarl: you must mean the special raman type instant noodles, Wai Wai (12:03am)
EarlEarlEarlEarlEarl: Yes, those are good, especially once they have "come out" of the package. (12:03am)
EarlEarlEarlEarlEarl: and into waiting boiling water. (12:04am)
EarlEarlEarlEarlEarl: Wai Wai noodles. I recommend them, as Penny just has. Thank you, Penny. (12:05am)
EarlEarlEarlEarlEarl: Official Holidays are horrid things, now, Mr. Wellman. We need to go back to the six day workweek, and half as many damned holidays. Holidays are a Conspiracy plot to keep us all in the thrall of relatives. (12:12am)
EarlEarlEarlEarlEarl: Magnificent Men was a British production. (12:12am)
EarlEarlEarlEarlEarl: *0 Dyas is good, it has little to do with the cameos. It's nicely photographed. (12:13am)
EarlEarlEarlEarlEarl: You have to worry about Shirley McCalin as a Japanese princess. (12:13am)
EarlEarlEarlEarlEarl: SMilebox format on blueray is good for CInerama (12:14am)
EarlEarlEarlEarlEarl: it works, Smilebox is good. (12:15am)
EarlEarlEarlEarlEarl: John Houston is in WInter Kills, yeah. (12:17am)
EarlEarlEarlEarlEarl: it has nothing to do with Wise Blood, otherwise. Except both titles begin with a "W"... (12:18am)
EarlEarlEarlEarlEarl: So.. g'night (12:19am)
Dr. Penny: G'night Earl! (12:24am)
Dr. Penny: It's a nursing room. (12:30am)
Nurse: is out. (12:36am)
Nurse: Out! Out! Damn Show! (12:40am)
Curious: Are you a male nurse or a female one? (12:41am)
Nurse: Of Course?! (12:57am)
Karen Carpenter: I am an Earth People. (1:44am)
EATH YAKUTH BUONON MEATER!: HA! (2:31am)
nurse annabella.horror hostess: just got into teh studio,lava lamps cominup (4:03am)

A horrendous Show hybrid monstrosity, only two and a quarter hours long, born amidst the chaos of accident and chronic misjudgement. Fortunately, KrOB and K. Carpenter joined Puzzling Evidence in the bailout. Absent, and Present Friends were toasted. An Epiphenomenon of scheduling. "Atlantis" will be next week-- barring Acts of God or the Devil...

Taking an Astronomical chance, this week's iteration spills the cosmic beans on the super-massive Black Hole at the center of our own galaxy, the Milky Way, bypassing caramel, chewy nougat and rich, creamy milk chocolate to demand an answer to the ever-pressing query, who's responsible? Scientific Rapture, ideally, ensues. However, all that glisters is not Goldie. With Whitman McGowan, the Rev. Baby Bear and a smattering of Puzzling Evidence, among others.

Chatroom History
May 9, 2014 10:00pm - 1:30am

Dr. Penny: Rototill the reality. (11:07pm)
Dr. Penny: Mountains of dirt rising and falling. (11:09pm)
Dr. Penny: Vulcans, deep down they're all a bunch of hypocondriacs. (11:14pm)
Earl_Earl_Earl_Earl: Earl_is_present (11:54pm)
Earl_is_present: Yee haw (11:55pm)
Earl_is_present: Snappy, huh? (12:23am)
Earl_is_present: Snap out of it. Just snap out of it. (12:26am)
Earl_is_present: OOoooh, snap. She really told that guy off! Snap! Snappy snap snappy snap. (12:27am)
Earl_is_present: Snappy snap sn-snap snap snap. (12:28am)
Earl_is_present: It's enough to make ya wanna take a 'snap, a cat snap. (12:29am)
Earl_is_present: Don't let them catch ya snapping. (12:30am)
Earl_is_present: Really? The snapping turtle won't bite a TRUE SubG?? Really? Truly?? (12:33am)
Earl_is_present: A beanstalk! ha ha.. that'll show her. (12:35am)
Earl_is_present: Abbot and Costello and the Beanstalk. (12:36am)
Earl_is_present: Yes, at one time there were Giants that walked the land. They were the progeny of Angels and human maidens. (12:37am)
Earl_is_present: They make mention of these things in Holy Writ. (12:40am)
Earl_is_present: Gut morgen! (12:58am)

First, some stuff about a Hook-up Truck. Then, Ask Dr. Hal! reaches carefully into the branches of the SubGenius family tree-- to separate the Yeti genome from the Troglodytic. Our Neandertal radio show fans are promised "a Mammoth Feast" of hi-jinks, goof-ball humor and other possible mechanisms of heterochrony. If you are looking for Bonehead English, we suggest you look elsewhere.

Chatroom History
May 2, 2014 10:00pm - 1:30am

St. Inkfinger: Am I late? (10:04pm)
Earl_Earl_Earl_Earl: Being in love with a Diane is tough. They're always so lovely. It must be having that name, it does something to the bearer. (10:13pm)
Sesame Street alien: If it's not driving around at random, maybe at unsafe speeds and taking sudden sharp turns, what's the point? (10:40pm)
Sesame Street alien: I believe Saints Row the 3rd had missions to that effect. (10:42pm)
Earl_Earl_Earl_Earl: Doug, you're thinking of Toko Ri. yeah, the caller is correct. (11:09pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Ask Dr Hal -- Tonight : Noah -- Starring: Russell Crowe -- Dr Hal tries to rescue the SubGenii before Obama ethno-cleanses the world. (11:09pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Ask Dr Hal -- Tonight : The Amazing DinoMan -- After being scratched by a radioactive fossil, Dr Hal ( played by Peter Parker ) develops super-powers (11:10pm)
Earl_Earl_Earl_Earl: The Hook-Up Trucks of Toko Ri. (11:10pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Once again, Irony raises its circumcised head, in an etymological fashion, when we note that these Earthly representatives of the Dero Empire are called... SubGenius. (11:11pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: We do nay have to make it up. It is what it is , and inadverant truth-in-advertising, AKA Stupid. Stupid is inately interesting in and of itself insofar as stupid people ( e.g., Subgenii ) lack even the narrowest dimensions of interest and are of no interest. (11:11pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Stupid just flat lines with marvelous consistency and continuity. Unfortunately, however, the funnier and more ridiculously horrific that dear Dr Hal may appear to be, the more dangerous he and his audience become. (11:11pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: And that is a True Thing. And whenever Truth manifests, trouble follows. The attendant agony or ecstasy are mere byproducts of association with said Truth. (11:12pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: Indeed, the sappy sop of sanitized biopic whitewashing over his crimes against humanity -- in particular, his attempted assassination of the American tongue -- are disproportionate to the artisistic relevance of his rudimentary eloquence. (11:12pm)
nobodyouwantoknow: O mickle woe ! How much longer must we endure The Show ? (11:12pm)
Dancer In The Dark: Bjork me, dear sirs (11:18pm)
Wracken Ruen: Warning ! Ask Dr Hal induces remote schizoidal epilepto-narcosis ( RSEN ), which principle violates the Non-Inference Act of 2006. (11:30pm)
Wracken Ruen: If you or a loved one have suffered bouts of RSEN, you may be entitled to compensation ! Contact the San Francisco District Attorney Office for more information : Call 911-9119 now ! (11:30pm)
Carlos Yung: According to a report issued yesterday by the Freudian Anal-Obssessive Study Group Dr Hal is a bobble-head buffoon spewing doggerel and drivel. (11:31pm)
Carlos Yung: The report concludes : If you disagree with this considered opinion, you are well advised to fuque off to a gay bar now and ejaculate away whatever is left of your pathetic excuse for a life and soul. (11:32pm)
Carlos Yung: Or kill me (11:32pm)
Carlos Yung: Somebody help me, please ! (11:32pm)
Carlos Yung: Im not a religious man, but I plan to be someday. It seems like the right thing to do, like instinct, like Dr Hal, almost a saint, albeit degenerated to the point of dissolution. (11:33pm)
Carlos Yung: Im not a religious man, but I plan to be someday. It seems like the right thing to do, like instinct, like Dr Hal, almost a saint, albeit degenerated to the point of dissolution. (11:33pm)
Carlos Yung: again and again (11:33pm)
Sesame Street alien: the dream of skies thick with flying lawn mowers dangling stuff over drunk people with guns (11:34pm)
Dr. Penny: Puzzling Evidence shall take us to the next level. (11:50pm)
Dr. Penny: Just make sure Mickey signs your tour guide book. (12:03am)

Bestiary of improbable forms, mixed but unmatched. This broadcast contains secret clues and hints-- Easter Eggs which, when incubated properly, tend to hatch out more teratology than the Sleep of Reason is liable to produce. If you buy any of this, proceed to Checkout.

Chatroom History
April 25, 2014 10:00pm - 1:30am

Dr. Penny: I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things. -- Isaiah 45:7 (10:33pm)
WTF: is this the show that is? (11:57pm)
Frank chu: the trillions of galaxies are the key to the grappilions of the exits to the playboys of the outer dark sides (11:58pm)
buster: still here! (11:58pm)
Thermojumpers: are hinoi team!? (11:59pm)
Thermojumpers: *jOsiE* (12:00am)
Thermojumpers: Girl generation mix!!! (12:00am)
Krob: sorry too busy (12:01am)
The Audience: All of us are so inclined. (12:02am)
Karen Carpenter: Stop The Madness!!!! (12:04am)
NHLG: We will never stoop this low! (12:07am)
St.Inkfinger: What the hell an I doing up this early (12:07am)
Ms.Rankstanker: Nothing in spades... (12:12am)
St.Inkfinger: a little more than nothing, actually (12:13am)
Nothing: I'm here to help! (12:16am)
St.Inkfinger: good thing, I think the frop has taken hold (12:16am)
St.Inkfinger: Has anyone put the coffee on? (12:21am)
St.Inkfinger: I guess not (12:34am)
Hold: the Frippin' frop!! (12:35am)
Caffiene sell-out: And y'all love real the me (12:36am)
St.Inkfinger: it's frippy alright (12:36am)
The People: love the coffee (12:36am)
St.Inkfinger: the bean won't steer you wrong (12:37am)
The Steering Comittee: call the coffee man now (12:38am)
St.Inkfinger: Coffee woman would be better.....for me at least (12:39am)
Like: the Spice Girls (12:40am)
St.Inkfinger: would be a start (12:40am)
St.Inkfinger: 20 'til 4....close enough (12:41am)
Like: the stream, man... (12:53am)
St.Inkfinger: turn off your mind, relax, etc. (12:55am)

In other news, the encephalization quotient was scaled back by the Food and Drug Administration for all radio shows without a broadcast signal pending the judgment of the Executive Committee on Moral Torpitude.

Chatroom History
April 18, 2014 10:00pm - 1:30am

Listener Zero: Dear Sir(s) -- I want to have your baby. Please bring it to the front door, that I may know it. (11:05pm)
Listener Zero: Hey buddy, got $20 for a bottle of coffee, asshole ? (11:13pm)
Listener Zero: Im not a religious man, but I plan to be someday. It seems like the right thing to do, like instinct, like Dr Hal, almost a saint, albeit degenerated to the point of dissolution. Almost an angel, though he can nay fly. (11:14pm)
Listener Zero: Almost a Show... no batteries, just an ever-ready assault on my sensibilities... Something like -- how shall I put it ? Ahhh : The Show of Dorian Gray... (11:15pm)
Listener Zero: But wet and smelly, plus a klystron for giga-quick cooking, like Death warmed over against all odds and the silly laws of physigues. Eeek ! Wow ! Woof ! Oooo ! (11:16pm)
Listener Zero: Damn you, you ve broken my heart for the last time! (11:16pm)
Listener Zero: Ask Dr Hal -- Tonight : Long Day's Journey Into Night -- Starring: Katharine Hepburn as Dr Hal -- Author Hal Robins gives an autobiographical account of his explosive homelife, fused by a drug-addicted Bob Dobbs... (11:17pm)
Mr Pink: Your computer may log only 50 listeners tonight, but actually there are 53,486 people here in this auditorium, hanging on your every word. (11:43pm)
Frank Stein: You don't scare me none with that spooky ooky talk (11:47pm)
Bill Gates: Your plightful plea touches my soul. I have emailed $4 billion to your PayPal account. (11:48pm)
Barry Soetero: I have enrolled you for Obamacare. (11:52pm)
Mike Obama: Me so horny, Love you long time. 5 dollar, 5 dollar, 5 dollar (11:54pm)
George Bush: Please continue talking about me. I need the publicity. I didnt get enough attention as a child. (11:55pm)
Siskell & Ebert: Ask Dr Hal -- Tonight : Noah -- Starring: Russell Crowe -- Dr Hal tries to rescue the SubGenii before Obama cleanses the world. (11:56pm)
Bill Shakespeare: Methinks thou dost protest too much. (11:59pm)
Franz Bardon: "I am confused" -- Alister Crowley's last words (12:01am)
Hermes Monogistus: As beside, so within (12:03am)
Mata Hari: Hookup Truck :" a modern dating solution for safe sexual adventuring" (12:05am)
Mata Hari: or, just fuq me running (12:06am)

SOMETIMES WE ARE REGRETTABLY UNABLE TO PROVIDE the experience the fans expect. We are in an "urban" area with multifold dangers. For most people there should be no problem, though that hardly helps when "you're" the victim. Our sincere apologies. And, everybody else-- enjoy the Show!

It was the 80's, they were young and hell bent on testing the limits of acceptable behavior in mainstream society.

No, not Menudo.

Chatroom History
April 4, 2014 10:00pm - 1:30am

Alan B.: Hullo. (10:03pm)
Alan B.: Science! (10:06pm)
Alan B.: noosphere (10:06pm)
DrPantzFunkley: Greetings to all my fellow SubGenii (10:07pm)
DrPantzFunkley: this sounds like frop enhancement is in order (10:08pm)
jr "spud" seven: Salutations Dr Hal (10:13pm)
Alan B.: s'up, DrPantz (10:15pm)
DrPantzFunkley: Yo Yo Alan (10:15pm)
DrPantzFunkley: it's been a great end to a long ass week (10:16pm)
DrPantzFunkley: got some tasty herb woohoo (10:16pm)
DrPantzFunkley: great entertainment tonight Dr Hal, just grade A quality stuff man (10:26pm)
DrPantzFunkley: thanks! (10:26pm)
DrPantzFunkley: it's good to have Revelation X next to the potty so you can read it while you wait (10:34pm)
Alan B.: Change is good. (10:35pm)
Alan B.: All of you in the chatbox! Do it now! Send money, cash preferred: (10:36pm)
DrPantzFunkley: where do you send it to (10:38pm)
DrPantzFunkley: i won't send cash (10:38pm)
Alan B.: checks will do . . . if you PayPal, you need to specify that the money is a gift for a friend . . (10:39pm)
DrPantzFunkley: i am going to cut them a check (10:40pm)
DrPantzFunkley: it's always worked before, for other things (10:40pm)
Alan B.: Attn: Jon Fast, RV, 2390 Mission St., Ste 302 SF CA (10:40pm)
DrPantzFunkley: for real (10:40pm)
DrPantzFunkley: that's not some scam is it (10:40pm)
Alan B.: 94112 (10:41pm)
Alan B.: Straight up. Google that address and look at street view . . . the famous Bruno's disco is across the street (10:41pm)
Alan B.: http://on.fb.me/OjvHlL (10:42pm)
DrPantzFunkley: who is Jon Fast, is that you? (10:42pm)
Pacific Standard Simon: EUGH! (10:42pm)
Alan B.: Money man at RV, known as Juan Rapido (10:42pm)
DrPantzFunkley: i wish san diego wasn't so far away (10:42pm)
DrPantzFunkley: ahso (10:42pm)
DrPantzFunkley: I have heard that name (10:42pm)
Alan B.: Pay Pal, cash, checks, Kruggerands, Dogecoin, "Bob"coin (10:42pm)
DrPantzFunkley: haha, Bob coin (10:43pm)
Alan B.: DOOO EEET (10:43pm)
Pacific Standard Simon: In the new world, YOU WILL BE FORCED TO MARRY ME. (10:43pm)
DrPantzFunkley: que? (10:44pm)
Alan B.: I support same-species marriage (10:44pm)
Pacific Standard Simon: The President of The Untied Snakes will be your wife! (10:44pm)
DrPantzFunkley: going undercover with a new Nick? (10:45pm)
Alan B.: Send the rest of your money to: P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland Hts, OH 44118-1417 (10:45pm)
Pacific Standard Simon: Hey little boy, wanna see my nick? (10:46pm)
Alan B.: Attn: I. Stang (10:46pm)
Alan B.: Nick Danger, Third Nostril (10:46pm)
DrPantzFunkley: haha (10:46pm)
DrPantzFunkley: i knew it (10:46pm)
Pacific Standard Simon: WILMA!!!! (10:47pm)
Alan B.: If he hasn't seen your green, you're still pink to "Bob." (10:47pm)
DrPantzFunkley: i am all paid up (10:48pm)
Pacific Standard Simon: Dear Dr. HAL -- remember our dear friend, Phantasy Collar? (10:48pm)
Alan B.: Seriously, place your hands on the monitor and write that czech with your teef (10:48pm)
Alan B.: Praise "Bob," brother DrPantzFunkley (10:48pm)
DrPantzFunkley: Hallelujah (10:49pm)
Pacific Standard Simon: CURLY BROWN!!! (10:51pm)
Alan B.: STOP FUCKING SWEARING, GOD DAMMIT. (10:52pm)
Pacific Standard Simon: STINKY PINKY!!! (10:52pm)
DrPantzFunkley: she can't help it (10:52pm)
Alan B.: That's what I like, monotone porn poetry with 70s wahwah porn music. (10:53pm)
Pacific Standard Simon: SMELL MY LOOOOVE... (10:53pm)
Alan B.: Dr. Hal has gotten his shit together. (10:54pm)
DrPantzFunkley: for sure (10:54pm)
DrPantzFunkley: this show is most excellent (10:54pm)
Alan B.: agreed (10:54pm)
Pacific Standard Simon: Oh, the funk. (10:54pm)
Alan B.: Personal business occupies me the first week of July, and I'm pissed off about it. (10:58pm)
DrPantzFunkley: i always have family obligations during x day since it's 4th of July holiday (10:58pm)
Alan B.: Some day I will make pilgrimage, but it might not happen forever. (10:59pm)
Pacific Standard Simon: spooooooooooooooooooooo... (11:02pm)
Pacific Standard Simon: Dear Dr. Hal: The Church has been public for close to 35 years... when will the night of long knives come? (11:08pm)
Alan B.: Beautiful and talented. (11:10pm)
DrPantzFunkley: Rock on Baby Bear (11:10pm)
DrPantzFunkley: thanks for playing that Hal - was a very haunting piece no? (11:10pm)
Pacific Standard Simon: I've been with you since the beginning... I'm getting so TIRED! (11:12pm)
Alan B.: July 4, 8661 (11:12pm)
Alan B.: sorry, July 5, 8661 (11:12pm)
Pacific Standard Simon: can... barely... keep... my... head... above... the... surface... of... the... cesspool... (11:14pm)
Pacific Standard Simon: GLUB (11:14pm)
Alan B.: When life gives you sewage, make Jenkem. (11:16pm)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/PBygAz (11:19pm)
Alan B.: Hal needs his Hadron medicine. (11:20pm)
Alan B.: 7-bladed windbreaker http://bit.ly/PBygAz (11:23pm)
Alan B.: 53 people all send in $5, the whole three-month bill for Radio Valencia gets paid. Send in your dollars now! (11:23pm)
Alan B.: The US country has been gnawed clean and the marrow sucked out of the bones. (11:27pm)
Alan B.: Rural life is hard here. (11:27pm)
Alan B.: I wish I could live like R. Crumb, in his villa in the south of France. (11:28pm)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/PBygAz (11:29pm)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/1ka9PIv (11:30pm)
Alan B.: The Conspiracy doesn't want you to listen to the great Pat Novak for Hire radio program, for free. (11:32pm)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/1kaa1aM (11:32pm)
Alan B.: Don't let Doug Wellman steal Ask Dr. Hal! Defend! NO PASARAN! (11:33pm)
Alan B.: Send all your money to: Attn: Jon Fast, RV, 2390 Mission St., Ste 302 SF CA 94112 and say it is for Ask Dr. Hal (11:34pm)
Alan B.: Oh, Bel-a! Attn: Jon Fast, RV, 2390 Mission St., Ste 302 SF CA (11:45pm)
Alan B.: shoot. let's try again. (11:46pm)
Alan B.: Oh, Bel-a! http://bit.ly/PBELmZ (11:46pm)
Sesame Street alien: you haven't yet turned to the last page (11:48pm)
Sesame Street alien: of the room (11:48pm)
Alan B.: Hadrons, how do they work? (11:52pm)
Alan B.: Frop stop. (11:52pm)
Alan B.: Bring all your money to: RV, 2390 Mission St., Ste 302 SF CA 94112 Next Friday, April 11l (12:05am)
Alan B.: PuzzEv wants your show, Hal, you need to stop him! (12:25am)
Kate Twoee: thanks for censoring me (12:29am)
Alan B.: Oh, dear! (12:32am)
TVGuy: Ask Dr Hal -- Tonight's Episode : Tomorrow Never Dies -- Starring: Pierce Brosnan, Jonathan Pryce, Michelle Yeoh -- James Bond heads to stop Hal Robins plan to induce war between China and the UK in order to obtain global media coverage for Radio Valencia. (12:33am)
Alan B.: I love this shit! (12:34am)

The Goldman Saxons = the most barbaric of of barbaric tribes, their economy was based on betting on impossible things. Until one day statistical mechanics turned on them and someone got one right bet and the whole system collapsed.

The Chezpanese = died of starvation due to being very picky about their food

The Barbielonians = Famous for their buried army of 10,000 terracotta female figures of impossible proportions.

The Passive Agrecians = Built en empire of conquered countries by stationing large armies next to the border and looking sullen for decades until the neighboring people would get thoroughly annoyed and moved away.

The Bollynesians = they had to do a song and dance before doing anything. Before going fishing they had to sing a song about boats, before having sex they had to do an interpretive dance about baby making. Their civilization was extinguished by the deadly confluence of excessive cheerfulness and cramps.