Hell’s Kitchen Radio #292: Hell Toupeé

Tuesday, February 28, 3pm

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How do you spell love? I spell it H.E.L.L. but that’s a good thing. And hot too! On my show tonight it was all about love. Just take a look below. Have you ever been in love? Romantic love where it’s all hot and heavy and you can’t keep your hands and genitals off one another? Where they’re on your mind 24/7 and your just know this feeling is going to last forever? You know what I’m talking about, right? That feeling where there’s just no one else on this big blue-green planet that can even understand how amazing your love is? Your love is larger than all the loves put together. And you both love the loving love that you love to loving give?

And then there’s the practical love. The love that is supposed to continue to grow once the romantic love that was never ever going to fade because they love me more than anything ever, and they are constantly turned on by me, excited to hear about every little mundane moment of my mundane day as if I just survived 30 days in the Outback (not restaurant, but then again that too sounds like torture) and come back to tell the tale. The love that says “put the toilet seat down”, but what they really mean is “I love you from the bottom of my heart, but if you leave that toilet seat up one more time, then you are not ever getting any more of this (at which point they’re just pointing to their genitals)”.

How many break-ups have your survived just to tell yourself that the next relationship is going to be the ONE?!?!? Have you begun to realize that it really is about the merging of two people who are totally turned on by the other for a finite amount of time, but given the chance may be able to evolve this deep friendship (please be best friends with this person, really) into a partnership that can survive the day-to-day “please put the dishes in the dishwasher” existence that requires you to set aside your ego.

And that’s it really, we need to leave our ego at the door. And we need to be a HUGE cheerleader for our partner. That’s what we want from them even if we don’t say it out loud.

So love is HELL. It’s hot, and it’s cumbersome at times, and it’s loud, and it’s unruly, but out the other side can be something truly wonderful. Climb out of your fairytale and into the reality what love can really be. Oh, and listen to my show while having hot sex. Why not? Couldn’t hurt.



Hell’s Kitchen with John Hell
Mondays 8-10PM
Radio Valencia in SF

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Love Comes in Spurts: Richard Hell
There She Goes My Beautiful World: Nick Cave

Blue Valentines: Tom Waits
Nobody Does it Better: Sex Mob

Only Son of a Ladies Man: Father John Misty
I’m A Mess: Nick Lowe
What Love Is: Dead Boys
Fodderstomp: PIL

Wiggle Stick: Reverend Horton Heat
Ever Fallen in Love: The Buzzcocks
Drown in My Own Tears: Ray Charles
Demox: Blind Shake

Love, You Should Have Come Over: Jeff Buckley

Pale Blue Eyes/Louie Louie: Patti Smith (02-15-76 Boarding House, SF, CA)
Kedem: Electric Masada (John Zorn) 07-18-2003 La Palma, Roma

The Other One/Cryptical Envelopment: Grateful Dead (02-13-1970 Fillmore East, NYC, NY

Boom Boom, John Lee Hooker (July 1973 Walrus Tavern, Seattle, WA)
Gypsy Woman: Rory Gallagher (1972 HR2FM London)

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