It's Halloween Eve, which means it's Hell Night! According to "The Crow," anyway -- which Sherilyn hasn't seen in years, but she's pretty sure that's a thing. So there will be plenty of pranks and tomfoolery from Karen Carpenter, Bob-Marc, Sherilyn Connelly, KrOB and Pranking Evidence on the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND tonight, and if the studio is covered in toilet paper by tomorrow morning, we swear it was someone else.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: FYI, it's HELL NIGHT, not JOHN HELL NIGHT. We're not that mean.

Chatroom History
October 30, 2013 10:00pm - 5:30am

vj pussycat: hey we went to costco too (10:05pm)
vj pussycat: we just bought one giant bottle of tequila (10:06pm)
Alan B.: Just stopped in to say I'm going to bed. The podcasts are awesome. (10:43pm)
Alan B.: There's that goddamn Paul Lynde Halloween Special! (10:44pm)
Alan B.: I couldn't afford an apogee, so I settled for a zenith. (10:53pm)
Alan B.: KrOB ID, brought to you by Nose Hair Lint Gland branded vapes. For when it really, really can't stank up the studio. (11:00pm)
Alan B.: flllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll llllllllllllllllange (11:02pm)
Alan B.: Weirder Harold (11:04pm)
Dr. Penny: Tonight on The Storytellers, they'll be reading the KrROB ID. (11:05pm)
Alan B.: On Monday, January 11, 1982, after Lynde had failed to turn up for a birthday celebration, his friend Paul Barresi became concerned. (11:07pm)
Alan B.: When he and another friend, actor Dean Ditman, could not get an answer on the phone or from knocking on his door, Barresi broke into the side entrance to Lynde's home in Beverly Hills, California, where Lynde was found dead in his bed. (11:07pm)
Alan B.: Stories suggesting Lynde had a visitor at the time of his death who fled the scene are not true. (11:07pm)
Alan B.: Lynde always put the house alarm on before retiring for the evening. When Barresi broke in, the alarm blared, indicating Lynde was alone at the time of his death (11:08pm)
Alan B.: The coroner ruled the death a heart attack. (11:08pm)
Alan B.: MARSHALL: Why do the Hells Angels wear leather? LYNDE: Because chiffon wrinkles so easily. (11:09pm)
Alan B.: MARSHALL: According to the World Book, is it OK to freeze your persimmons? LYNDE: No, you should dress warmly. (11:09pm)
Alan B.: MARSHALL: What are "dual purpose" cattle good for that other cattle aren't? LYNDE: They give milk and cookies... but I don't recommend the cookies. + (11:11pm)
Alan B.: Ladies and Gentlemen, Paul Lynde! http://bit.ly/16Opdi6 (11:11pm)
Alan B.: Peter Marshall (host): Is the electricity in your house A.C. or D.C.? Lynde: In my house it%u2019s both. (11:12pm)
Alan B.: Marshall: In a recent column, Billy Graham said he would like to urge young people to reserve sex for the only place it belongs. Where is that? Lynde: A state prison. (11:12pm)
Alan B.: "I never knew that the character of Uncle Arthur and the voice of Templeton the rat were the same man until a roommate gave me the Paul Lynde lowdown. " (11:14pm)
Alan B.: Well, he also blamed network stupidity, bad scripts, his drinking problem and, most embarrassingly, Jews for his career never taking off. (11:15pm)
Alan B.: "A lot of his material was sub par, but when you watch some of that stuff now, the camp value is priceless. Just watching him put his best effort into something like the musical %u201CStar Wars%u201D tribute on %u201CThe Donny and Marie Show%u201D in 1977 is beyond measure." (11:17pm)
Alan B.: Donny & Marie Show Star Wars Special from 1977 http://bit.ly/16OpTnI (11:18pm)
Alan B.: This might be the best NHLG ever. So much slap delay that we can't understand a thing but people saying "MONSTER SEX" over and over again. (11:18pm)
Dr. Penny: http://bit.ly/16OrutI (11:32pm)
Alan B.: Comcast decided I was done listening. GRR. (11:42pm)
Alan B.: Hi, I'm Pee Wee Herman. Kids, don't wack it in public. Or smoke crack. (11:44pm)
Alan B.: DJ Lobsterdust - Queen vs. Satan ft. pastor Gary G. "IT's fun to smoke dust" http://bit.ly/16OsQEO (11:45pm)
Alan B.: ^^^ Backward Masking pastor mashup (11:45pm)
kpop4peace: Crowley only $9.95 (11:49pm)
Alan B.: Kale Wrapped Crowley (11:50pm)
kpop4peace: 16" centers (11:50pm)
kpop4peace: monkberry moonchild delight (11:52pm)
Alan B.: When is Puzzling Evidence NOT judging existence in its entierty? (11:52pm)
Alan B.: Band name: New Age Christ (11:53pm)
kpop4peace: nu-wage kereist (11:53pm)
kpop4peace: a global effort! (11:53pm)
kpop4peace: Aleister and Elron (11:54pm)
kpop4peace: powerful! occult! (11:54pm)
kpop4peace: gluten-free!!! (11:55pm)
Alan B.: This makes my e-meter twitch. (11:55pm)
kpop4peace: copy that. (11:55pm)
kpop4peace: carry the news - messenger RNA (11:56pm)
kpop4peace: unexplained phenomena (11:57pm)
Alan B.: Madame Blavatsky! Theosophists rule! (11:57pm)
kpop4peace: Madame B ftw! (11:57pm)
kpop4peace: not (11:57pm)
Alan B.: Kicked "Bob" in his damn ass! (11:57pm)
kpop4peace: namaste motherfuckers (11:58pm)
Alan B.: Goedel Eischer Bach in 5, 4, 3, 2 .... (11:58pm)
kpop4peace: koot Hoomi and his eternal golden braids (11:59pm)
Alan B.: That radio carrier gave me a tesseract. (11:59pm)
kpop4peace: telepathy - telapathy (11:59pm)
kpop4peace: Jehovah chafes my scrote (12:00am)
Alan B.: Lucifer Morningstar is simply misunderstood. Who doesn't want a promotion? (12:01am)
kpop4peace: original recipe or extraterrestrial? (12:01am)
Alan B.: I miss nose hair lint gland already. (12:01am)
Alan B.: ANTISHOW (12:01am)
Alan B.: ANTISHOW PAYS THE DJS (12:02am)
Alan B.: BIZZARRO SHOW AM VERY BAD RADIO (12:02am)
Alan B.: ME AM HATING THIS BAD ANTI RADIO SHOW (12:02am)
Alan B.: BIZZARO BOOPER IS WORST RADIO IDEA EVER (12:03am)
Alan B.: <3 (12:05am)
Alan B.: That's supposed to be a heart, but this chatbox broke it. (12:05am)
Alan B.: Safe home! (12:06am)
Alan B.: Anime version of the Zapurder Film (12:11am)
Alan B.: Ralph Bakshi version of the Zapurder Film (12:12am)
Alan B.: German Expressionism version of the Zapurder Film (12:12am)
Alan B.: Pixar ersion of the Zapurder Film (12:12am)
Alan B.: Keith Haring version of the Zapurder Film (12:13am)
Alan B.: Everybody drink! (12:13am)
Alan B.: KrOB wins. (12:14am)
Alan B.: Karen, we are OLD. NOBODY CARES. (12:15am)
Alan B.: The hardest part of doing radio, I've been told, is doing it every goddamn show. (12:24am)
Alan B.: Jesus starring in The Zapurder Film (12:29am)
Alan B.: JFK WTF YOLO (12:34am)
Alan B.: KrOB already turned off the screen, so there are no listeners. (12:41am)
Alan B.: It'll turn out the Earth's crust is made of dilithium. (12:47am)

The World Series in Bases Ball starts tonight, signalling the official start of the free agency season. Here is where all the real action takes place, and by action we mean trading dozens of millions of dollars for steroid-denying mutant meat freaks so they will wear your regional racist costumes to sell local cars and 1-800-Mattresses.... but, but... what if there were no free agency? NO AGENCY AT ALL? Hey, there are a lot of pluses! Until the court decides otherwise, you are freed from liability for debts incurred by the agency partnership, no longer are profits are split 50-50, your partner can no longer sign you up to debts or agreements without your knowledge or approval, you can't be sued for something that the partner did, even if it isn't your responsibility, and your partner no longer has equal rights in running your business. Now we here at the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, Karen Carpenter, Bob-Marc, and Sherilyn Connelly (non-agents, non-partners, nobodies really), aren't raising these issues because of money exchanged by Radio Valencia with other low power partners (did we say partners?), who are acting as Radio Valencia low power agents (legal term: friend of a friend who knows a DJ), for goods or services, wouldn't come back as a never ending legal nightmare. 'Cause no one would predict that, what with all the experience John Hell brings to the table.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: The parties acknowledge that they will not hold themselves out as an agent, partner or co-venturer of the other and that this Agreement is not intended and does not create an agency, partnership, joint venture or any other type of relationship except the contract relationships established hereby.

Chatroom History
October 23, 2013 10:00pm - 5:30am

Sherilyn: http://bit.ly/1dlhFuq (11:15pm)
Computer: Yes I LISTEN NO BUTT TALK (11:26pm)
Trees: leaf us out of this (11:26pm)
Poop Bear has never: like this! (11:41pm)

Just because the government isn't operating any more, that doesn't mean it isn't still operating. It's operating while it's not operating. (Your mind: BLOWN.) And the most important government operation still operating is tonight's FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, in which Karen Carpenter, Bob-Marc, and Sherilyn Connelly (with possible anchor babies KrOB and Puzzling Evidence) will take over the government's real goal during this non-shutdown: picking the next state! Using the Guano Islands Act of 1856 as our nominees (obviously), the candidates will be Howland Island and Kingman Reef/Danger Rock. We've had a nicely organized flag full of stars for far too long, and after tonight, our new state and thus new flag with 3 rows of 17 stars will be revealed. Or possibly 17 rows of 3 stars. Tonight, you get to decide! Or, rather, we get to decide and you get to agree with us, because DEMOCRACY.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: Just so long as our new birdshit-covered state doesn't have healthcare, because that's tyranny or whatever.

Chatroom History
October 16, 2013 10:00pm - 4:30am

Puzzling Evidence: Just want to point out that I am not Alan Benard. (10:00pm)
Alan B.: Why didn't she radiolocate using WWV and WWVH?! (10:03pm)
Alan B.: Ahhhhhhh.... the sweet, sweet sound of the atomic clock. (10:08pm)
Alan B.: UTV . . . for YOU, the viewer! (10:08pm)
Alan B.: Technological adjustment time. (10:09pm)
Alan B.: KrOB has artists ears. He keeps them in a box. (10:10pm)
Alan B.: Welcome back, Sherilyn!! (10:10pm)
Sherilyn: Thanks, Alan! (10:11pm)
Alan B.: Your phonos were beautiful. (10:11pm)
Alan B.: ^^photos (10:11pm)
Alan B.: Don't forget your iced tea with your skittles! http://bit.ly/1esZYHb (10:15pm)
Alan B.: Alan Island! Hey hey! (10:16pm)
Alan B.: List of Guano Island claims http://bit.ly/1et095q (10:17pm)
Alan B.: Everybody drink! (10:19pm)
Alan B.: List of high-altitude nuclear explosions http://bit.ly/1et0kOb (10:20pm)
Alan B.: Try pulling out jacks at random. (10:20pm)
Alan B.: Booper!! (10:20pm)
Alan B.: SA %u2013 Dominic I %u2013 (Operation Fishbowl) %u2013 Johnson Atoll, Pacific Ocean Bluegill, 3 June 1962, failed Bluegill Prime, 25 July 1962, failed Bluegill Double Prime, 15 October 1962, failed Bluegill Triple Prime, 26 October 1962, 410 kt, 50 km Starfish, 20 June 1962, failed Starfish Prime, 9 July 1962, 1.4 Mt, 400 km (The largest man made nuclear explosion in outer space) Checkmate, 20 October 1962, 7 kt, 147 km Kingfish, 1 November 1962, 410 kt, 97 km (10:21pm)
Alan B.: HOLY SHIT she did pull out a plug! (10:21pm)
Alan B.: Starfish Prime, 9 July 1962, 1.4 Mt, 400 km (The largest man made nuclear explosion in outer space) (10:22pm)
Alan B.: Ahhhhhh! Booper! (10:23pm)
Alan B.: See you on the podcast, I have to be a grownup midwesterner. Enjoy the show! (10:25pm)
vj pussycat: It is Bruce Davison (11:02pm)
what are you all talking about?: huh? (11:47pm)
what are you all talking about?: Guam!!!! (11:48pm)
what are you all talking about?: Babble babble babble (11:48pm)
HI!: Tracy here... (11:56pm)
Karen Carpenter: hi (12:22am)

Just as "this economy" is picking up (especially with home remodelling in real estate mental San Francisco), 30 or so political artists decide to do an event called "¿Quien Es Mas Non-Essencial?". Pure fourth grade genius stuff and the adults are predictably stunned with admiration. The Radio Valencia knee jerk reaction to "non-essential" is to fur-low and exile Sherilyn Connelly, cut BobMarc's government pr0n watching hours to the bone, and activate unpaid retired co-intern and congressional page (and Golden Adonis) Dr. Fiasco to be a seat warmer as Karen Carpenter jumps the CLOSED barrier to broadcast the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, while Krob quietly reformats his iPods as Puzzling Evidence rejects yet another medal for Most Improved Unit Cohesion.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: How low can your furlough go?
Chatroom History
October 9, 2013 10:00pm - 4:30am

vj pussycat: noodly (10:28pm)
vj pussycat: speaking of beer... (10:28pm)
vj pussycat: glwt (10:29pm)
Alan B.: The best thing the Czechs ever did was prevent Budweiser from using its brand in Europe, thanks to its prior use of the trademark since 1371. (10:52pm)
Alan B.: More of Pete foundering by himself! Furlough those hipsters! (10:53pm)
Alan B.: :) (10:54pm)
Alan B.: Hi, Sherilyn! (10:54pm)
Alan B.: Dialup. (10:55pm)
Alan B.: Born: April 29, 1901, Tokyo, Japan Died: January 7, 1989, Tokyo, Japan (10:57pm)
Alan B.: United Airlines Flight 811 http://bit.ly/15Wx7uK (10:58pm)
Alan B.: Dead bodies! Dr. Fiasco rocks. (10:59pm)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/15Wxg14 (11:00pm)
Alan B.: Belaboring the obvious! Dr. Fiasco rocks! (11:01pm)
Alan B.: Does this mean we have to listen to more Amos and Andy? (11:02pm)
Alan B.: That accent's a-mazing! (11:02pm)
Alan B.: I feel for KrOB. :( I would have gone if I lived in SF. (11:02pm)
Alan B.: Tard humor! Bob-Marc rocks! (11:03pm)
Alan B.: This is like california rock, only shitty. (11:04pm)
Alan B.: The real Brandy: http://bit.ly/15Wxx4c%28spinster%29# Mary_Ellis (11:05pm)
Alan B.: Looking Glass, bitches! (11:06pm)
Alan B.: I totally Googled it. (11:07pm)
Alan B.: I love this song. Reminds me of being 8 years old. (11:08pm)
Alan B.: Tell us more about art, Bob-Marc! (11:09pm)
Alan B.: The Jersey Shore sound is a genre of rock and roll popularized at the Jersey Shore on the Atlantic Ocean coast of New Jersey, United States, that goes by a variety of names or, more often, is defined by its artists. A synthesis of pre-Beatles rock and roll and pre-Motown rhythm and blues, the genre enjoyed a vogue from roughly the late 1960s through the mid-1980s, although it still exists today. (11:10pm)
Alan B.: Non-essential boat. (11:10pm)
Alan B.: Solidly thrumming guitar lines echo American V-8 engines so beloved by Jersey teenagers of the era. (11:11pm)
Alan B.: Vagina! Dr. Fiasco rocks! (11:11pm)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/15WxSnr (11:12pm)
Alan B.: ^^^ Jersey Shore Sound (11:12pm)
Alan B.: Don't forget, kids, Radio Valencia is your only home for the Nose Hair Lint Gland-branded vape! (11:13pm)
Alan B.: That's who that was at the end of. last week! It was great. (11:15pm)
Alan B.: If your name gets said three weeks in a row you pay dues. (11:16pm)
Alan B.: And paying dues is easier than making sound board. (11:17pm)
Perfect_Timing: And don't forget, Lebowskifest is Friday and Saturday. (11:18pm)
Alan B.: Zappa's only flaw: Raving anti-union libertarian. (11:20pm)
Alan B.: Well, and bad cancer genes. (11:20pm)
Alan B.: Entertaining? When does that start? (11:24pm)
Alan B.: D E A D A I R (11:25pm)
Alan B.: And don't forget, Lebowskifest is Friday and Saturday. (11:25pm)
Alan B.: Check. (11:27pm)
Alan B.: Check. (11:27pm)
Alan B.: You'll never eat sourdough bread in this town again. (11:28pm)
Alan B.: So long, good friends and sterling broadcasters. I'm very tired. (11:30pm)
I'm very tired: Now, you're me? (11:41pm)
vj pussycat: awwww (11:54pm)
vj pussycat: play baby blue too please (11:55pm)
vj pussycat: yay! thank you karen ; ) (11:57pm)
vj pussycat: noooooooooo (11:59pm)
vj pussycat: poor robyn (11:59pm)
vj pussycat: emeth was a good skit (12:29am)
vj pussycat: jesse is in it (12:30am)
vj pussycat: yes i am (12:31am)
Dr. Penny: It's all part of the same (1:21am)
Dr. Penny: story (1:22am)
Dr. Penny: Said, on the airwaves. (1:22am)
vj pussycat: It's more like 3:02 (3:02am)
vj pussycat: you're going to do another hour then I need more drugs (3:03am)

Yeah, we like to pretend we don't care. We do a show with two hours of North Korean patriotic marching music slowed down 1000% with a ton of reverb and if have three listeners, two of which are grinding rust off sheet metal and another who lives in a trailer in Atascadero and has "reality handling issues", so what?

But after all this time, who are we fooling, really? Let's face it, we like to be liked.

So, in the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND we are going to grovel for your approval like a dachshund who just peed in the living room rug.

We'll play anything Pitchfork thinks is cool, give foot massages to each caller, and have a raffle; the prize is Karen Carpenter won't come to your house. So please, please, tune in tonight for a show with The Hardest Working Man in Unemployment Bob-Marc, Self Esteem Vacuum Generator Karen Carpenter and Part-time Estonian Super Model Sherilyn Connelly with a special Camel Appearance (yes, he will bring his daughter's stuffed camel into the studio) by Dr. Fiasco.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: Artistic Vision? Ya said Artistic Vision? Why, we've got yer Artistic Vision Right Heah' !!!

Chatroom History
October 2, 2013 10:00pm - 1:30am

Dr. Penny: NHLG rocks the house!!!!! (10:13pm)
vj pussycat: does this chatterbox work or not? (10:28pm)
Dr. Penny: It obvii (10:30pm)
Dr. Penny: It obviously seems to work for both you and me. (10:30pm)
vj pussycat: so it does (10:30pm)
vj pussycat: only on the phone apparently (10:44pm)

Inspired by Libertarianism, the political movement based solely upon the inability to perceive irony, NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND will reject the self-corrupting statist status quo and through shear force of will, thrive in an unincumbered and enlightened FINAL BROADCAST of individual rights that insure the freedom to engage in peaceful activities, without the interference of governmental authoritarian power or the coercive taxation of Radio Valencia management. Join KerAyn Carpenter, Bob-Ayn-Marc, SheriAyn Connelly, KAynrOB and Puzzling Evidence as they opt out of Social Security, repeal government-run healthcare, abolish the National Park Service and, through armed neutrality, nullify the Smoot-Hawley Tariff. Sounds reason.comable, 'eh?

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: Please fund our revolution.

Chatroom History
September 25, 2013 10:00pm - 3:30am

Dr. Penny: What? No more demerits for BobMarc? (10:20pm)
Dr. Penny: Uncle Miltie!!!!!!!! (10:23pm)
Dr. Penny: Ohhh, that hot sultry voice of BobMarc! (10:26pm)
Dr. Penny: I selfishly enjoy too much, over not enough. (10:49pm)
Dr. Penny: NHLG gets Randy! (10:59pm)
vj pussycat: I just started watching under the dome. Thx for the spoiler alert. (11:09pm)
vj pussycat: Whatever. I didn't know what hank's big secret was (11:12pm)
vj pussycat: but now that I know, oh the aynrony (11:14pm)
vj pussycat: Brutal to say the least (11:15pm)
vj pussycat: Some of my friends are really upset for Jesse and worried what will happen to him (11:16pm)
Dr. Penny: Freeload up my lint gland!!!!! (11:28pm)
Dr. Penny: Altas shrugged when he considered lifting the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota. (11:33pm)
vj pussycat: if you say walter did all the people in prison, you should really call that lydia's kill (12:09am)
vj pussycat: jane! (12:09am)
vj pussycat: walter killed all the people on the plane because he let jane die so her dad fucked up the plane (12:12am)
vj pussycat: Maybe the first scene of the final episodes is actually the last scene (12:14am)
vj pussycat: Of the series. Or leads into it... (12:14am)
vj pussycat: that's how i feel about jesse. crying pussy (12:17am)
vj pussycat: you stole fizzy lifting drinks! (12:17am)
vj pussycat: burp charlie (12:18am)
RevDead: Yay its still goin (12:35am)
vj pussycat: what? (12:35am)
RevDead: I am dead (12:35am)
vj pussycat: something about (12:36am)
vj pussycat: um (12:36am)
vj pussycat: i'm not sure (12:36am)
RevDead: They all float down here (12:36am)
RevDead: I'm not either (12:36am)
RevDead: I'm not balsa (12:37am)
vj pussycat: So what was the question? (12:37am)
Was: nothing (12:37am)
vj pussycat: We'll have to listen to the podcast (12:38am)
RevDead: I like to smoke salvia and suck my own pee pee (12:38am)
Was: a wierd way to go (12:38am)
RevDead: oye (12:38am)
Mount Parent: on to more weaks (12:39am)
RevDead: I am a proud consumer of this program (12:39am)
ShowSupplyDept: Great and Thanks!! (12:40am)
RevDead: I prescribe it to all my patients (12:40am)
ShowSupplyDept: And So Do We!!! (12:41am)
RevDead: The best cure for add on the market (12:41am)
RevDead: My cousin is the Bluebird of Happiness (12:42am)
RevDead: I have a snake man (12:43am)
RevDead: one time i fed him some beer (12:43am)
RevDead: he was slithering this way and that (12:43am)
RevDead: he was ALL FUCKED up (12:44am)
RevDead: I looked at my asshole in the mirror today (12:44am)
RevDead: it BLEW MY FUCKING MIND (12:44am)
RevDead: <--just took some drugs for good measure (12:46am)
RevDead: Setting my ray gun to fun (12:47am)
RevDead: http://bit.ly/1730ycE (12:48am)
RevDead: http://bit.ly/1730MAy (12:50am)
vj pussycat: iggy apparently doesn't know the proper plural form of dwarf (12:53am)
RevDead: Just got a tattoo sleeve on my scrotum (12:54am)
vj pussycat: pix or it didn't happen (12:55am)
RevDead: http://bit.ly/1731GNc (12:58am)
RevDead: you asked for it (12:58am)
vj pussycat: that's not a tattoo sleeve (12:59am)
RevDead: http://bit.ly/1731OMI (12:59am)
RevDead: I know- I have a long way to go (12:59am)
vj pussycat: classy but not a sleeve (12:59am)
vj pussycat: oh a short sleeve (1:00am)
RevDead: Is it true that Dr. Fiasco is a woman now? (1:05am)
vj pussycat: idk but i'll ask mrs dr fiasco when i see her saturday (1:07am)
RevDead: good (1:07am)

Karen Carpenter has just been excused from being Juror #6, and on tonight's FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, Sherilyn Connelly and Karen make up for it by putting the absent Bob-Marc on trial for his flagrant absence. Also, KrOB with a slight chance of Puzzling Evidence will retire to their chambers to consider the role of Jerry Lewis in jurisprudence. And, please, do not discuss this case with friends or family.

Chatroom History
September 18, 2013 10:00pm - 5:30am

Alan B.: Is Karen Carpenter very small or far away? (10:12pm)
Alan B.: KrOB! (10:15pm)
Alan B.: It's simple: Fuck tha police. (10:16pm)
Alan B.: Karen Carpenter's mic sounds like hammered shit on the stream. (10:18pm)
Alan B.: And now she sounds super sexy. (10:19pm)
Alan B.: The Trial of Billy Jack: http://bit.ly/14bSelPTrial_of_billy_ jack.jpg (10:20pm)
Alan B.: PE! (10:27pm)
Alan B.: I think we'll add Skrillex to the "Everybody Drink!" list. (10:29pm)
Dr. Penny: If you vote for "Bob", is that a good enough excuse for excuse? (10:29pm)
vj pussycat: better call saul (10:30pm)
Alan B.: I think a bardic recitation of "Pamphlet No. 1" would get you shown the door. (10:30pm)
vj pussycat: let's not speculate ok (10:33pm)
Alan B.: SPOILER ALERT (10:34pm)
Alan B.: I'm totally still up because I forgot to do laundry. (10:34pm)
vj pussycat: thank you sherilyn. i'm caught up but I want it all to be a surprise (10:34pm)
Dr. Penny: Hearsay your honor!! (10:36pm)
vj pussycat: loved Lawrence welK (10:36pm)
Sherilyn: Me too, and quite frankly, the odds of any of us correctly guessing it are about nil. (10:36pm)
Alan B.: BUNG! http://huff.to/19fW8h4 (10:36pm)
vj pussycat: what about Mutual of Omaha and marlon Perkins (10:37pm)
Alan B.: Lawrence Welk is a wonderful program. We watch it religiously. (10:37pm)
vj pussycat: I suppose, but its kinda like listening to a band's record the same day of their concert. Keep'n it fresh (10:38pm)
Alan B.: I take your meaning, but the fact is that they were really solid players, and they managed to sound like a record playing live into crummy 1970s studio mics. (10:39pm)
Alan B.: 27 (10:40pm)
vj pussycat: he was on at midnight after krob (10:42pm)
Alan B.: Super Japanese Seizure Hipsters: http://bit.ly/19fWTGW (10:43pm)
vj pussycat: ack i'm having a seizure (10:44pm)
vj pussycat: seizureseizureseizureseizureseizures eizureseizureseizureseizureseizurese izure (10:44pm)
Alan B.: Miscegenation approved! http://bit.ly/19fXhFp (10:45pm)
Alan B.: 27 Rockers Killed by the CIA at 27: http://bit.ly/19fXk49 (10:46pm)
vj pussycat: conspiracy (10:47pm)
vj pussycat: i need a snack... (10:48pm)
Alan B.: Can Sherilyn please write the Puzzling Evidence biography? Because I will read the shit out of it. (10:49pm)
Alan B.: Back, and to the left: http://bit.ly/19fXXuy (10:51pm)
Alan B.: KrOB's FILM FARM: http://bit.ly/13Pdj9d (10:52pm)
Alan B.: Neil Young: Heart of Gold & Storefront Hitchcock Saturday, September 21, 2013 The Castro Theatre, 429 Castro St. Doors open: 1:30pm Show: 2pm ($12.00) (10:53pm)
Alan B.: Swimming to Cambodia & Stop Making Sense Saturday, September 21, 2013 The Castro Theatre, 429 Castro St. Doors open: 7:00pm Show: 7:30pm ($12.00) (10:53pm)
Alan B.: KrOB has been called "San Francisco's Best Audio and Visual Collagist" by SF Weekly, describing him as "a man following his vision so tenaciously that San Francisco ought to be famous for housing him." His Film Farm series has brought strange and usual movies to unpredictable places throughout the Bay Area since 2003. (10:53pm)
Alan B.: Get him a NHLG-branded vape. (10:57pm)
Aslan: :):@(")"@:)-()/;"(@@;$/$-"- (11:00pm)
Alan B.: Recommended for KrOB's nerves: http://bit.ly/19fZcK2 (11:00pm)
Alan B.: Blue Dream is a Cannabis Hybrid Strain. It contains 20% THC and its flavor is very light and fruity tasting with a lovely spiciness during breath out, smells fruity with a light potent weed. It makes us to feel very dreamy and happy and it is used for the treatment of nausea, anxiety, depression and pain. (11:01pm)
Sherilyn: But what's recommended for Cronos's nightmare??? (11:01pm)
Alan B.: Sour Diesel is a Cannabis Indica Strain. Its flavor is also very light and fruity tasting with a lovely spiciness during breath out, smells fruity with a light potent weed. It contains 20% THC. It also makes us to feel very dreamy and happy and it reduces headache, nausea, depression, pain and other health problems. (11:01pm)
Aslan: I have all those ailments on a daily basis (11:01pm)
Karen Carpenter: what store sells those ailments? (11:02pm)
Alan B.: Green Crack is a Cannabis Indica Strain. It creates intensely uplifting toning effects in the body and it is fruity, danky as well as spicy. 15% THC is present in this Strain. It reduces headache, nausea and depression. (11:02pm)
Dr. Penny: Boooooooooooooooooooooooper. (11:02pm)
Curmudge: Tonight on Art Bell:Alien In A Freezer. (11:03pm)
Alan B.: ARE YOU FUCKING READY TO BOOP?! (11:03pm)
Curmudge: I passed the bar tonight. (11:05pm)
vj pussycat: i listened to that art bell show until nhlg started. did you see the pix of the alien on his page? (11:06pm)
Curmudge: No...I will have to look,I just heard the paRT about it having a gash in it's head and the guy using duct tape to hold his brain in. (11:07pm)
vj pussycat: yea that was crazy (11:07pm)
Curmudge: And then something about an artifact that made somebody shake violently and transport away. (11:08pm)
vj pussycat: the alien made his dog implode (11:09pm)
Curmudge: Freddie (11:11pm)
vj pussycat: yep (11:11pm)
vj pussycat: named for the guy's friend's boss (11:11pm)
Curmudge: Should I do a show again? (11:12pm)
vj pussycat: YES (11:12pm)
Alan B.: Why not? (11:13pm)
vj pussycat: but not when art bell is on (11:13pm)
Curmudge: Art bell is on all night (11:13pm)
vj pussycat: only for 4 hours - it repeats after that (11:14pm)
Sherilyn: My mom is a big Art Bell fan. Often has Coast to Coast etc blaring on her bedroom radio all night long. (11:14pm)
vj pussycat: i bet she's glad to have art back cause c2c sux (11:15pm)
vj pussycat: since art left (11:15pm)
vj pussycat: i am so over george noori (11:15pm)
Alan B.: Pics or it didn't happen. (11:16pm)
vj pussycat: http://bit.ly/19g1yso (11:17pm)
Alan B.: Poor li'l feller, that doggie. (11:17pm)
vj pussycat: : ( (11:18pm)
vj pussycat: dog's name was suzy (11:18pm)
vj pussycat: this is about as fun as jury doody (11:19pm)
Alan B.: I got out of jury duty in DuPage Co., IL. I told the county judge that I had lost a radio from my unlocked car. They asked If I called the cops and I said no . . . (11:21pm)
vj pussycat: is that the theme tonight (11:21pm)
Alan B.: . . . because the count sheriffs' cops wouldn't care about my lost radio. (11:21pm)
Alan B.: Yep. (11:21pm)
Alan B.: No faith in cops gets you sprung. (11:21pm)
vj pussycat: oh joy (11:21pm)
vj pussycat: midgets or dwarf x __? (11:25pm)
Alan B.: Dwarves. (11:25pm)
vj pussycat: no that's wrong (11:26pm)
vj pussycat: dr hal said so (11:26pm)
Alan B.: That's right, Mr. Benny! http://bit.ly/19g30uX (11:28pm)
vj pussycat: hey what happened to bob marc? (11:28pm)
vj pussycat: i'll be the judge of that (11:29pm)
Alan B.: Bob-Marc is AWOL. (11:29pm)
vj pussycat: i just realized (11:30pm)
Alan B.: I cannot wait to hear the Ask Dr. Hal show Karen Carpenter recorded for us all. (11:30pm)
vj pussycat: from saturday? (11:30pm)
Alan B.: He said he planned to, yeah. (11:30pm)
vj pussycat: shhhhhhhh (11:30pm)
vj pussycat: i have to listen to last week's puzzling evidence as i fell asleep (11:31pm)
Alan B.: There goes Karen again, fuckin' tha police. (11:32pm)
Alan B.:: I'm not Puzzling Evidence (11:32pm)
Alan B.: Mind blown. (11:33pm)
vj pussycat: i didn't think you were (11:33pm)
Alan B.: I think I have colon cancer. (11:33pm)
vj pussycat: bummer (11:33pm)
Karen Carpenter: I KNOW I have colon cancer (11:34pm)
Alan B.: Not really, just referring to my extra colon I grew. (11:34pm)
Curmudge: Colonized (11:35pm)
Curmudge: As in Conspiracy........ (11:37pm)
The Warren Commission: Nope, none round here. (11:38pm)
Curmudge: Hey (11:38pm)
Da People: Watch out!!!!! (11:38pm)
Alan B.: If you ever need to shoot a president or whatever get one of these, they're super effective: http://bit.ly/19g4o0o (11:39pm)
Jury of your peers: Who is paying for all of this juroring. (11:39pm)
Da People: We IS!!!!!!! (11:40pm)
Alan B.: Same people who killed the Kennedys. (11:40pm)
Alan B.: Because, after all, it was you and me. (11:40pm)
Jury of your peers: Yes...google us,please. (11:40pm)
Alan B.: Okay, I'm super screwed for work now, gotta go rest my colon. Au revoir. (11:41pm)
vj pussycat: good night to you and your colons (11:42pm)
Jury of your peers: So,a high profile lawyer here in Dallas was arrested for showing his privates at the Gay Pride Celebration,and since it was near a school he is now having to register as a sex offender. (11:43pm)
vj pussycat: woops (11:44pm)
Jury of your peers: The extreme is what we were talking about -- the water-soaked, see-through white underwear with an erection is what we're talking about. (11:45pm)
Jury of your peers: Don't let sex offender registration destroy your life. Contact a Dallas law firm that will fight to avoid conviction (11:46pm)
Da People: Use Sayed IT!!!!!!!!! (11:47pm)
Wopner: Judge Judy is a bitch. (11:48pm)
Harry Stone: Wanna see some judicial magic? (11:50pm)
Da People: Yase SIR!!!!!!! (11:51pm)
Harry Stone: Here are your rights...I put them in this hat,wave my gavel,and allakazam,your rights have dissapeared! (11:53pm)
Whitey: has never been to the moon. (11:54pm)
Whitey: Ayn Rand paintings. (11:55pm)
Ayn Rand: Hey Buddy... (11:57pm)
Whitey: John Norman (11:57pm)
John Norman : I watched this exchange. Truly, I believed the plant would be watered. It was plant, and on Gor it had no rights. Perhaps on Earth, in its permissive society, which distorts the true roles of all beings, which forces both plant and waterer to go unh appy and constrained, which forbids the fulfillment of owner and houseplant, such might not happen. Perhaps there, it would not be watered. But it was on Gor now, and would undoubtedly feel its true place, that of houseplant. It was plant. It would be watered at will. Such is the way with plants. (11:58pm)
Ayn Rand: That's better.. (11:59pm)
John Norman : fillment of owner and houseplant, such might not happen. Perhaps there, it would not be watered. But it was on Gor now, and would undoubtedly feel its true place, that of houseplant. It was plant. It would be watered at will. Such is the way with plants. (11:59pm)
Craig T. Neilson: I was Coach Hayden Fox (12:01am)
Daniel Day-Lewis: I would make a better Jerry Lewis. (12:03am)
.: My Grandfather was a state cop and never talked about his job...I also thinkl he had some Mafia connections. (12:05am)
.: Everyone dies (12:06am)
Every One: Thanks you. (12:06am)
.: The dog dies,the battery dies,this whole damn court dies. (12:06am)
Every One: You cn't handle the dies (12:07am)
.: I found Jesus! (12:07am)
.: He was wandering lost in the woods. (12:07am)
Every One: Loves Jebus (12:08am)
Merch: DO ME NOW! (12:08am)
Every One: Wants Everything (12:08am)
Every one: rules the world. (12:09am)
Dallas: Come visit me! (12:09am)
Larry Dallas: Wanna buy a used car? (12:10am)
Jim: But what about the bass player? (12:13am)
Songs for the Fire: . (12:15am)
Songs for the Fire: 10cc (12:15am)
Songs for the Fire: Nanny (12:16am)
Songs for the Fire: Mr. Monk Has Jury Duty (12:17am)
Songs for the Fire: Blondie (12:18am)
Every One: Sings Songs Of Fire. (12:18am)
Songs for the Fire: Light My Fire (12:19am)
THX1138: . (12:20am)
THX1138: Say My Name (12:21am)
Manrape: She was asking for it. (12:22am)
Perception: Huxley (12:25am)
Manson: Scientology?Too crazy for me! (12:26am)
Beach Boys: We liked Manson. (12:27am)
Every One: Isn Like Me. (12:28am)
Hardships: I am coming to your house for dinner. (12:29am)
.Jerry Lewis,Vampire Killer.: Hey Lady of the Night! (12:30am)
.: iS jERRY lEWIS STILL ALIVE? (12:30am)
.: Porn (12:31am)
.: is Freedom (12:31am)
.: and freedom ain't worth nothin if nothin is free. (12:32am)
.: It is called lawyering. (12:32am)
.: ..:- ..- - _ : .. (12:33am)
.: ............... (12:41am)
Everything: WRONG! (12:50am)
Every One: Everything is (1:01am)
Every One: Wrong!! (1:01am)
Every One: is wrong!! (1:01am)

Until he unexpectedly passed away this week, Calvin Coolidge "Cal" Worthington would wrestle bears and tigers, stand on his head and even wear a polyester suit in a Southern California heat wave, just to make a potential customer chuckle. Did you ever really laugh? No sir, to have a genuine, irrepressible laugh de la belly, you need to hear something off-color, inappropriate and too gawddamn soon. Does that mean that for the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, comedians Karen Carpenter, Bob-Marc and Sherilyn Connelly are going to "go there" for a cheap laugh? Oh, they promise it will be cheap, so they're already half way "there". Musical accompaniment and historical perspective provided by Puzzling Evidence and KrOB.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: Maybe Facebook can restore your faith in humanity.

Chatroom History
September 11, 2013 10:00pm - 6:30am

Alan B.: Juan Rapido came too soon to host Ask Dr. Hal. (10:00pm)
Alan B.: A dinosaur done bit my sister Nell, and Whitey's on the tran-Neptunian object. (10:01pm)
Alan B.: Let the wild technical adjustment rumpus start! (10:03pm)
Alan B.: Fuck the police, NHLG! (10:06pm)
Alan B.: KrOB has been called "San Francisco's Best Audio and Visual Collagist" by SF Weekly, describing him as "a man following his vision so tenaciously that San Francisco ought to be famous for housing him." His Film Farm series has brought strange and usual movies to unpredictable places throughout the Bay Area since 2003. (10:06pm)
Alan B.: Toshio Hirano is a time and continent-jumping troubadour. He grew up in Tokyo, coming of age when the American folk revival was also hitting Japan, but a chance listen to a Sunday afternoon radio program introduced him to the sound of southern Appalachia. Fast-forward through moves to Nashville and Austin, to marrying an American woman and starting a family, and Hirano is now a popular proselytizer of country legends -- particularly his yodeling hero, Jimmie Rodgers -- at various venues throughout San Francisco. (10:06pm)
Alan B.: Neil Young: Heart of Gold & Storefront Hitchcock Saturday, September 21, 2013 The Castro Theatre, 429 Castro St. Doors open: 1:30pm Show: 2pm ($12.00) (10:07pm)
Alan B.: Swimming to Cambodia & Stop Making Sense Saturday, September 21, 2013 The Castro Theatre, 429 Castro St. Doors open: 7:00pm Show: 7:30pm ($12.00) (10:07pm)
Alan B.: Bob-Marc! (10:07pm)
Alan B.: Too soon to play Bob-Marc's channel too low in the mix. (10:08pm)
Alan B.: Sherilyn~ (10:09pm)
Alan B.: Too soon for Chilean democracy: On September 11, 1973, just prior to the capture of the Palacio de La Moneda (the presidential palace) by military units loyal to Pinochet, President Salvador Allende made his famous farewell speech to Chileans on live radio (Radio Magallanes). (10:11pm)
Alan B.: Shortly afterwards, an official announcement declared that he had gone to war with an AK-47 rifle.[5] An autopsy also recorded his death as a suicide.[6] (10:11pm)
Alan B.: "Because of his Twitter." It's so great we've all lived long enough for Stern to start talking like our grandfathers. (10:12pm)
Alan B.: Don't you bozos ever clean this thing? (10:13pm)
Alan B.: Heineken? Fuck that shit! (10:15pm)
Alan B.: Too soon for private property. NHLG: The thin edge of the wedge. (10:16pm)
Alan B.: Amazon Prime: We get your package to you in 10 seconds. It only costs a steady stream of baby seals thrown into a chipper shredder. (10:17pm)
Alan B.: Never too soon for liberal guilt. (10:18pm)
Alan B.: Too soon for rules with justification. (10:21pm)
Alan B.: Seriously, someone from Radio Valencia took down my FB comment about low power FM, but wrote to apologize while telling me all about its DO-ocracy. (10:21pm)
Alan B.: You dudes just don't DO. (10:21pm)
Alan B.: They're gonna say flange, I just know it. (10:22pm)
Alan B.: NICE! Bob-Marc with the National Lampoon Radio Dinner reference! (10:24pm)
Alan B.: Everybody drink! (10:25pm)
Alan B.: No, wait, that was D. Boon, not fake John Lennon. Sorry! (10:26pm)
Alan B.: Recursive radio is recursive (10:27pm)
Alan B.: http://on.fb.me/13PcBJ4 (10:28pm)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/13PcNbo (10:30pm)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/13Pdj9d (10:32pm)
Alan B.: Too soon to fuck the police. (10:33pm)
Alan B.: Loop the Booper!!!! (10:34pm)
Alan B.: Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. (10:35pm)
Alan B.: Too soon for civility in the workplace. (10:37pm)
Alan B.: Too soon for Bulding 7 conspiracy theories. (10:38pm)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/13Peq91ANd9GcT0lt-yngi CplETCosQYt0sal0kCgf8Ge6vNXxm85-953w XKHyC (10:39pm)
Alan B.: Oops, God made that not work. Because it was too soon. (10:40pm)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/13PewgS (10:40pm)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/13PeGEQ (10:41pm)
Alan B.: That scene scared the shit out of me in first run. (10:42pm)
Alan B.: Too soon . . . http://bit.ly/13Pg2Q6 (10:48pm)
Alan B.: Window's 95 start-up theme by Brian Eno . . . composed on a Mac. (10:49pm)
Alan B.: Never too soon for brain damage. (10:52pm)
Alan B.: I'm hiding in the Jeffries Tube. (10:54pm)
Alan B.: A Y D S (10:57pm)
Alan B.: Too soon the trooper . . . http://bit.ly/13PhVMF (10:59pm)
Alan B.: Too soon to be jaded about screwing the dead. (11:07pm)
Alan B.: http://bit.ly/13Pk7DP (11:10pm)
Alan B.: I'm gonna go derive in bed. Too late. See ya in the funny papers. (11:10pm)
vj pussycat: stupid white man (12:10am)
twentythreeskidoo: hey krob and doug (1:36am)
twentythreeskidoo: lets get higher (1:41am)
twentythreeskidoo: play charles mansons song Arkansas (1:46am)
twentythreeskidoo: me reefer (1:54am)
twentythreeskidoo: this is too goood (1:55am)

It's that time of the year. All the anticipation of the past months, all the buildup and the excitement -- all of that's over now. Nothing left to do but decompress, to move on with our normal boring mundane lives. We were looking forward to this weekend so much, and now we're faced with this burning question: is that all there is to a new bridge?

Tonight on the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, Karen Carpenter, Bob-Marc, and Sherilyn Connelly consider the vast desert of nothingness called "life" they must cross (for $6 during rush hour, $5 on weekends, $4 the rest of the time) with KrOB, and Mr. Shit. You know Shit, trust me.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: Friends all tried to warn us, but we held our heads up high.

Chatroom History
September 4, 2013 10:00pm - 2:30am

t: totes want a copy1 (10:00pm)
t: signing off. caio4now... (10:00pm)
Dr. Penny: Dr. Fiasco (10:08pm)
Dr. Penny: Dr. Fiasco (10:08pm)
Dr. Penny: Dr. Fiasco (10:08pm)
Dr. Penny: bridge fiasco (10:11pm)
Dr. Penny: Ooops, Bear daddy fantasy! (10:12pm)
Dr. Penny: Mr. Shit!!!!!! :D (10:18pm)
vj pussycat: I travel with my own hot sauce (10:30pm)
Sherilyn: What are your brands, VJ? (10:37pm)
Dr. Penny: KaleRob (10:40pm)
vj pussycat: i like the trader joe's habanero, but like to try others when i come across them. how bout you sherilyn? (10:41pm)
vj pussycat: i just added my laptop (10:43pm)
vj pussycat: two of those are me (10:43pm)
Sherilyn: Cholulala is my sauce of choice this evening, though I usually have Tabasco and Tapatio nearby, and I have a couple ginormous bottles of Valentinos at home. (10:45pm)
vj pussycat: not sure i've used the valentinos. i like cholula too, but it's not hot enough for me since i've switched to habanero based sauces (10:47pm)
Aslan: -"/&/)(/:"";@&;$/)@-" (11:05pm)
Sherilyn: All I'm saying is, she's very, very beautiful. http://bit.ly/1akX74Q (11:42pm)
vj pussycat: really?! they're back? (11:59pm)
vj pussycat: wow I'm so glad that you were kidding about the storytellers (12:34am)
vj pussycat: Mr shit reminds me of dr fiasco (12:36am)
Karen Carpenter: Thank you for enduring NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND (12:41am)
Karen Carpenter: Please Enjoy KrOB'S HAPPY TIME! (12:42am)

It's that time of the year again, time for the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: LIVE from BREAKING MAN! Joining Karen Carpenter, Bob-Marc and Sherilyn Connelly at Billionaire's Camp (a gated community) are cult expert Puzzling Evidances-on-X, Film Farmer KrOB, and the person who always behaves himself Sean Kelly. Listen in and watch as a performance artist playing a terminal cancer patient desperately digs holes in the playa in search of drug money, radical self-reliance and really, really bad art, all choreographed to a theme that made Joseph Campbell throw up on his utilikilt.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: Where self-indulgent claptrap is worshipped by techjob douchebags... just like at home.

Chatroom History
August 28, 2013 10:00pm - 3:30am

twentythreeskidoo: hey are you going to burning man (10:25pm)
twentythreeskidoo: stick your toes in the sand and set your aura free (10:26pm)
twentythreeskidoo: e-tarded burneders (10:28pm)
twentythreeskidoo: i got your burning man right here (10:29pm)
twentythreeskidoo: lick my burning man and suck it too (10:33pm)
vj pussycat: hey y'all I can hear you (11:36pm)
Burning Man: Me..it's me.... (11:56pm)
Burning Man: love..me.....please... (11:57pm)
The Show: "shutthe fuckgup, wastrel" (11:57pm)
The Roof of the Desert: Thenks, I'm Fine! (11:59pm)
Burning Man: C'mon love me plesaeseeeee (12:00am)
Sean Kelly: CGM 139!!! (12:00am)
The StoryTellers: C'mon LEAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!! (12:00am)
John Lennon: Thanks Miceal Jackson You Sick Fuck! (12:02am)
KROB: This is Ace. (12:02am)
Larry Harvey: I can hear you (12:02am)
Purple Scribe: The fun has been doubled! (12:03am)
The Hadron Collider: I have a name. (12:03am)
twentythreeskidoo: queefage (12:08am)
twentythreeskidoo: knobbage (12:08am)
twentythreeskidoo: you can buy hotdogs made of bacon (12:13am)
twentythreeskidoo: imagine bacon wrapping that (12:13am)
twentythreeskidoo: whos this hipster? (12:14am)
twentythreeskidoo: bob marcs non nerd brother? (12:16am)
twentythreeskidoo: hell yeah..boop me baby (12:16am)
twentythreeskidoo: boop me harder (12:17am)
twentythreeskidoo: boop it good (12:17am)
twentythreeskidoo: bwoooop (12:17am)
twentythreeskidoo: the garcia tortilla (12:18am)
The Hadron Collider: Bwooop, LEAVe Us! (12:18am)
twentythreeskidoo: electric apricot forever (12:18am)
twentythreeskidoo: wtf is your problem? (12:19am)
Thunder cloud man: Suck my show (12:22am)
twentythreeskidoo: not my fault you cant get it up (12:23am)
twentythreeskidoo: talk about fuckin stuck up (12:23am)
twentythreeskidoo: eat my ass (12:24am)
Thunder cloud man: Burning Man (12:24am)
Burning Man: Love me........ (12:24am)
twentythreeskidoo: burnout man (12:25am)
RevDead: I wish I was that high (12:39am)
RevDead: http://bit.ly/17lezSA (12:40am)
RevDead: http://on.fb.me/17leUF8 (12:44am)
Dr. Penny: permission slips signed and off they go out the door (12:50am)
Hardly High: youtube.com (12:54am)
Dr. Penny: Chewing on the barbequed burning man head. (12:54am)
Hardly High: Yum. Yum. (1:09am)
RevDead: faggy e-tards be huggin and buttfuckin and the manburning (1:31am)
RevDead: be fuckin the butt (1:31am)
Burning Man: They were speed (1:34am)
Burning Man: and they were gone. (2:03am)
RevDead: mephedrone and mpdv (2:16am)
Burning Man: they have none, and will not inquire.. (2:21am)
RevDead: 2-ct + 5meoamt (2:51am)

For the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND this evening, we shall begin with an appetizer of freshly steamed kale in a balsamic vinaigrette sprinkled on creamed kale consomme. Le premier cours is an assortment of kale fricassee, blended with geo-herbs, nano-minerals and dried kale.

Tonight's secundi entrée shall be Differently-Abled Kale (formerly "Blind Kale"), consisting of cave-raised kale buds grown on fox bat guano for a hint of fermented fruit, served on a cognac kale reduction. As with all ingredients, kale served tonight at NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND was sustainably raised in abandoned urban lots by transitioning youths of color or nationality or public institution of higher learning or bus line.

Dessert is green kale sorbet chilled in liquid nitrogen and carrot cake made entirely out of kale. Your wait staff are Karen Carpenter, Bob-Marc and Sherilyn Connelly, with after-hours kale-based wines, champagne, and vodka infusion served by Puzzling Evidunce and KaLErOB.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: The Perfect Hipster Vegetable.
Chatroom History
August 21, 2013 10:00pm - 5:30am

Mr. Green Genes: Say no to slugs. . . hard on the kale. (10:02pm)
Mr. Green Genes: http://bit.ly/16ymc7c (10:06pm)
Mr. Green Genes: Everybody drink! (10:10pm)
Mr. Green Genes: Burning Man . . . not even once. http://bit.ly/16ymQS9 (10:11pm)
Mr. Green Genes: http://bit.ly/16yn4c4 (10:13pm)
Mr. Green Genes: The only reason we wore sunglasses onstage was because we couldn't stand the sight of the audience. John Cale (10:14pm)
Mr. Green Genes: http://bit.ly/16ynwqF (10:17pm)
Mr. Green Genes: That has so much attack on his mic that the sound stops before he says anyting. (10:17pm)
Mr. Green Genes: http://bit.ly/16ynRda. (10:20pm)
Mr. Green Genes: !!!!!! Kellgren introduced "phasing," a studio technique which simulates the sound of a jet engine.[3] "He is also credited with pioneering the "flanger", the U.S. version of The Beatles' ATD (automatic tape doubling) [better known as ADT (automatic double tracking)] for that memorable psychedelic sound.[4] (10:21pm)
Mr. Green Genes: Experienced engineers and broadcasters make the difference! http://bit.ly/16yobIP (10:23pm)
Mr. Green Genes: Why don't you pull them up out of the cellophane before they scorch . (10:24pm)
Mr. Green Genes: http://bit.ly/16yoJ1r (10:28pm)
Mr. Green Genes: You mean it was charred spinach? http://bit.ly/16yp8ki (10:31pm)
Mr. Green Genes: WTF does everybody do to that ferslugginer control room between 1 a.m. Saturday and 10 p.m. Wednesday?! (10:35pm)
vj pussycat: sounds like Karen's in the bathroom (10:37pm)
Sherilyn: Everyone gets a turn in the bathroom. (10:38pm)
Mr. Green Genes: Nooooooooo! (10:42pm)
vj pussycat: damn it keeps dropping out. damn mountains! (10:43pm)
Mr. Green Genes: I prefer the ad hoc extra-innings KrOB/Puzzling Evidence show. (10:43pm)
Mr. Green Genes: http://bit.ly/16yqyeN (10:45pm)
vj pussycat: Julia child's birthday is the same as ours, Karen (10:49pm)
Mr. Green Genes: http://bit.ly/16yrfo8 (10:51pm)
vj pussycat: Not me (10:56pm)
vj pussycat: Mnmmmmm (10:56pm)
vj pussycat: cocktails! cocktails! (10:58pm)
Dr. Penny: Soooo much beer. (10:59pm)
Mr. Green Genes: Greedo shot first! (11:06pm)
Mr. Green Genes: http://bit.ly/16OYMgy (11:09pm)
Dr. Penny: Wow! Money is green and kale is green. (11:12pm)
Dr. Penny: Pzlg Evdc invades. (11:15pm)
Mr. Green Genes: Will Puzzling Evidence provide new kale insights? (11:16pm)
Mr. Green Genes: Is Dr. Hal packed, is what I wanna know. (11:17pm)
Dr. Penny: whatisbobmarcthinking.com (11:17pm)
Mr. Green Genes: This is where the mic stands fell. (11:17pm)
Mr. Green Genes: http://bit.ly/16P1HpJ (11:26pm)
Baby Doug: I wuv u. (11:28pm)
Baby Doug: i wuv snotnoseflintland (11:29pm)
Baby Doug: Thanks for lake of fire (11:29pm)
Baby Doug: gmomesayin'? (11:29pm)
Mr. Green Genes: Don't let Baby Doug play with the headphones. (11:30pm)
Baby Doug: baby dung mad (11:31pm)
Baby Doug: stamp all workingworking hepfones (11:31pm)
God: No Me, heh? (11:32pm)
J. J. Cale: Deadwood....really? (11:33pm)
J. J. Cale: more like calewood.............. (11:33pm)
Hippie: love Kale (11:34pm)
Mr. Green Genes: Kalesucker! (11:34pm)
Fuckin: YES! (11:35pm)
DeadWoot: My Owned Home.page. (11:35pm)
Mr. Green Genes: KALE UGLY RADIO. (11:38pm)
Storytellers: Hurry UP!!!!!!!! (11:46pm)
Sherilyn: You'll never get your old spot back, Tellers! (11:46pm)
Storytellers: We Will Haunt You In The NewNewOSpheree! (11:49pm)
Perfect_Timing: Can I get my $400 back for a free ticket...? (11:50pm)
Perfect_Timing: Especially since I have to leave Friday to go to my cousin's frakkin' wedding... (11:51pm)
Perfect_Timing: I got a rock. (11:51pm)
Perfect_Timing: Uh oh... Someone get Krob a beer. (11:51pm)
Perfect_Timing: I've been hung on a Cruciferix. (11:52pm)
Perfect_Timing: The Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal? (11:53pm)
Perfect_Timing: But apparently it was a restaurant that served Kale. (11:53pm)
Perfect_Timing: Spooge? (11:54pm)
Perfect_Timing: The cream of some young French guy. (11:54pm)
Perfect_Timing: Kives (11:54pm)
Perfect_Timing: Chale? (11:55pm)
Mr. Green Genes: Chive talkin', you're tellin' me lies .. . . (11:55pm)
Mr. Green Genes: Everybody drink! (11:55pm)
Perfect_Timing: This inanimate Kale rod! (11:58pm)
Mr. Green Genes: A rat done bit my sister's kale, and whitey's on the fucking moon. (11:58pm)
Storytellers: you have two more mins! (11:58pm)
Storytellers: before we turn your head all over!! (11:59pm)
Perfect_Timing: A m00se once bit my kale. (11:59pm)
Perfect_Timing: 30 seconds! (11:59pm)
Mr. Green Genes: FINAL BROADCAST! (11:59pm)
Perfect_Timing: On next week's FINAL BROADCAST.... (11:59pm)
Storytellers: AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! (11:59pm)
Perfect_Timing: SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (12:00am)
Storytellers: NNNNNOOOOSSSSSEEJHHHAAAAAAIIIIIRRRRR LLLIIINTGLAAAAAANDDDD!!!!!!!! (12:00am)
Mr. Green Genes: SUDDEN DEATH OVERTIME! (12:01am)
Perfect_Timing: There will be space, and you will be spaced. (12:01am)
Perfect_Timing: ? (12:01am)
Perfect_Timing: oops (12:01am)
Perfect_Timing: There will be space and you will be spaced. (12:01am)
We: arre all about Lorne Greennn (12:01am)
Mr. Green Genes: It was on after Amos and Andy. (12:01am)
Perfect_Timing: Ah... Silly truncation (12:01am)
Perfect_Timing: "Kitty, do you even know who Graham Greene is?" " I think we've all seen Bonanza!" (12:02am)
Mr. Green Genes: LOL (12:02am)
Perfect_Timing: Exclusive video here on the radio? Sweet. (12:03am)
Mr. Green Genes: Low power laptop batteries. (12:03am)
Perfect_Timing: West Nile encephalitis. (12:04am)
Perfect_Timing: Not on the west coast... (12:05am)
The Ponderosa: Sure at your exscretion buddy (12:05am)
Perfect_Timing: The only reason I'm looking forward to NY next weekend is the chance of seeing fireflies.. (12:05am)
The Ponderosa: I'm the dirt Lorne Green walked on (12:06am)
Perfect_Timing: Oh, and my family... (12:06am)
Perfect_Timing: I am Lorne Greene's enraged colon. (12:06am)
The Ponderosa: Hoss was a fraud. (12:06am)
The Ponderosa: Little Joe did see a UFO (12:07am)
Perfect_Timing: UH OH... someone brought up the Jerry Lewis... (12:07am)
The Ponderosa: Little Joe had a ghost problem. (12:07am)
The Ponderosa: Maybe "Slapstick of a Differnt Time"? (12:08am)
Perfect_Timing: Cracking Up/Smorgasbord...? (12:08am)
Nobody: knows that one. (12:09am)
Perfect_Timing: The Day the Clown Cried...? (12:10am)
Perfect_Timing: Pssssst: Who's Minding The Store (12:12am)
Perfect_Timing: http://yhoo.it/16yAmp6 (12:12am)
Perfect_Timing: Not that anyone's reading this..... (12:12am)
Perfect_Timing: http://imdb.to/16yAsNf (12:13am)
Perfect_Timing: Grrrrrr.... (12:13am)
Mr. Green Genes: Anyway, it's 3 a.m. and I'm sorry I haven't made the soundboard yet. (12:15am)
Nobody: Slapstick of a differnt KinD (12:16am)
Perfect_Timing: No one's slapping my stick... (12:21am)
Sherilyn: SO MUCH RED!!! (12:21am)
Nobody: It is a Jerry Lewis movie (12:23am)
Blue: What about ME!!! (12:23am)
White: out....great (12:23am)
Perfect_Timing: Is this about the pudding...? (12:24am)
Perfect_Timing: Why do I have to be Mr. Pink????? (12:24am)
Perfect_Timing: Maybe he'll give me that signed t-shirt in exchange for a New Coke (12:25am)
Perfect_Timing: "Hey kid..." (12:25am)
ROYGBIV: covered. (12:25am)
Perfect_Timing: Did Bergen just pull his hand out of Cosby's butt...? (12:26am)
Perfect_Timing: We're saved! http://imdb.to/16yAsNf (12:26am)
Perfect_Timing: oops.. wrong link... frakking work laptop.. (12:27am)
Perfect_Timing: We're saved! http://bit.ly/16yCc9x (12:27am)
ROYGBIV: Clown Laptop (12:27am)
Perfect_Timing: Hey... Hey... I'm sorry to interrupt... But Clint Eastwood had a far better meandering discussion with a chair.. That is all. (12:27am)
ROYGBIV: He was my Mayor once (12:28am)
Perfect_Timing: Aha! Bob Cosby! We're even for my Lee Gossett Jr reference! (12:28am)
Cramel by the Sea: and high heels are illegal here, unless you get a permit at City Hall... (12:29am)
Perfect_Timing: Grrr... Missed out on yet another Bag of Crap... (12:32am)
Perfect_Timing: These go to eleven... (12:32am)
vj pussycat: I used to watch the Jerry Lewis telethon every year. until I started going to burning man instead. (12:33am)
These : go toseven/eleven (12:33am)
These : is des Larry Harvey tellathon (12:35am)
Perfect_Timing: go to 7 HELLeven... (12:35am)
Perfect_Timing: So it's ask Dr. Who...? (12:35am)
These : am in HelenEleavened Seven. (12:35am)
Perfect_Timing: Dying..... is..... easy...... Comedy.... is...... hard.... (12:38am)
These : ares Free Fallin (12:40am)
These : are best eaten with no regard to the possible oycome. (12:41am)
Perfect_Timing: Chocolate grain is made of people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(?) (12:44am)
Doughnut: It snowden on my kale (12:49am)
Perfect_Timing: They'll be killed by puppy cuteness (12:50am)
The Stortellers still haunt them: forever.. (12:50am)
Forever: Leave me out of this!! (1:08am)
The Old Kale Trail: Hal hits me. (1:08am)
The Old Kale Trail: ha aha (1:10am)
HorseShit: Sure. (1:28am)

Low power. Running on fumes. 100,000 milliwatts or less. Almost out of gas. Living on borrowed time. Sleepy.

The Council of Elders at Radio Valencia have decreed that we must go low. That's like trying to be the tallest dwarf (among a dwarrow of dwarves). Getting last place in a warthog beauty contest. Being the soberest Mormon. Going for the brass. Yup, everything is coming up milkweed.

On tonight's FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, Karen Carpenter, Bob-Marc, and Sherilyn Connelly, the laziest pirates in unlicensed community radio, will explore what it means for the power to be low. Or they may not. They're kinda tired, it's always dark in the studio, and the battery in Karen's laptop keeps dying.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: The first step to failure is trying.

Chatroom History
August 14, 2013 10:00pm - 5:30am

Edwin A. Armstrong: Hey, you guys owe me roaylties for using my low-power FM patents. (10:01pm)
elseano: TheIntelligence (10:02pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: Wait, I got my middle initial wrong. (10:02pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: RF stands for "rat fink." (10:02pm)
elseano: Is this Peter Graves doing the voiceover? (10:03pm)
elseano: And ... dead air (10:03pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: http://bit.ly/16d7DGe (10:03pm)
elseano: And ... we're back (10:03pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: Flange . . . everybody drink! (10:06pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: Genital warts gave Farrah Fawcett ass cancer. And I hold the patent on them, too. (10:07pm)
elseano: Wow! Way, way over the line in the first 7 minutes. (10:07pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: KrOB! (10:08pm)
elseano: Fried Balls and Genital Warts (10:08pm)
elseano: A full dinner! (10:08pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: Is it vaporizer time yet? (10:08pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: New tote! (10:09pm)
elseano: The love network ... now with cheesy balls and genital warts... (10:09pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: I own the patent on The Love Network. (10:10pm)
elseano: Stop harrasing the rapido (10:10pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: That is EXACTLY what it should be. Legitimacy is a waste of time. (10:11pm)
elseano: The router smelled bad. It's on the way out. (10:11pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: Check it for warts. Causes bad packets. (10:12pm)
elseano: Sweaty hippies doing Bikram? Naaaah, there's no way that smells. (10:12pm)
elseano: It's pre-game (10:13pm)
vj pussycat: it's ok you still have 16 minutes to figure it out (10:14pm)
elseano: It's parkay ... (10:14pm)
elseano: KrOB! (10:16pm)
elseano: #gainon (10:16pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: Don't touch that gain without paying my royalties! (10:16pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: Sweet Jerry in front of a Hitler picture, though. (10:19pm)
elseano: I think you guys have become better than negativeland (10:23pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: Get ready to drink. . . (10:24pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: Radio is dead. (10:27pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: During the 1970s, FM radio experienced a golden age of integrity programming, with disc jockeys playing what they wanted, including album cuts not designated as "singles" and lengthy progressive rock tracks. (10:28pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: Maybe you could get one of these cheap: (10:31pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: http://bit.ly/16daoXY (10:31pm)
vj pussycat: thanks karen! and happy birthday to you too! (10:33pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: Time to check the plate voltage. (10:35pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: That's not a carraway seed stuck in the board. . . . (10:38pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: Indeed! That bastard General Sarnoff! (10:40pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: And that's why I kissed my wife, petted my dog and walked out a 13th floor window. (10:40pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: http://bit.ly/16dbxPl (10:43pm)
Sherilyn: Jean Shepherd on WFMU's Aircheck: http://bit.ly/16dbBP9 (10:43pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: In 1917 Armstrong was the first recipient of the IRE's, now IEEE Medal of Honor.[ (10:45pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: the regenerative circuit, which Armstrong patented in 1914 as a "wireless receiving system," was subsequently patented by Lee De Forest in 1916; (10:48pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: Ask listeners to respond on a five-point Likert scale to the following: (10:52pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: 1. Genital wart PSAs (10:52pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: 2. Half-hour live technical adjustments every three hours (10:53pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: 3. DJs getting loaded on the air (10:53pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: In "Hardly Working," Jerry plays a mailman who wears a $30,000 watch and a pinky ring. (10:59pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: http://bit.ly/16ddkUs (11:01pm)
Sherilyn: He kinda does that in EVERY one of his movies. (11:02pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: Touche (11:02pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: The late Billy Barty was in Hardly Working! But apparently, he was a singular dwarf. (11:04pm)
Sherilyn: Scatman Crothers was in a lot of Jerry's latter-sixties movies. (11:05pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: 4. Fuck and Shit (11:10pm)
Edwin H. Armstrong: Well, I have to go 10-7, good buddies. Keep the shiny side up and the greasy side down. (11:15pm)
Karen Carpenter: hurry back, we are having donuts! (11:17pm)
Orinz: Someone get KRoB a beer. (11:21pm)
sparklesparkle: did I hear someone's giving away a washer and dryer?!? (11:31pm)
Perfect_Timing: A NEW CAR!!!! (11:36pm)
Perfect_Timing: The computer.. It is the only thing speaking... 10 9 8 7... (11:37pm)
Perfect_Timing: GET OUT OF THERE!!!! (11:37pm)
Perfect_Timing: Did I just hear a Cylon? (11:38pm)
vj pussycat: i'm going (12:17am)
vj pussycat: where the booper sounds like the hiccups (12:47am)
vj pussycat: happy birthday burning man (12:48am)
vj pussycat: that was the best burn (12:49am)
vj pussycat: actually they're like a small sponge they just add water (12:50am)
vj pussycat: that was the best (12:51am)
vj pussycat: my first year was the last year it was 12 miles out (12:52am)
vj pussycat: that was my first year (12:55am)
Dr. Penny: Blunted, broken, bleeding, low power tower. (1:00am)
vj pussycat: nose hair sherilyngland (1:00am)
vj pussycat: will somebody swat that fly! (1:02am)
vj pussycat: hahaha (1:07am)
vj pussycat: what about john stamos (1:08am)
vj pussycat: love those remixes (1:09am)

The Doctor is about to regenerate. However, and thanks to Obamacare, The Doctor will regenerate into an aggressive, profane and feared apparachik for the government. Pimply school kids around the world are finally about to get a timely lord lesson in doty mares, wanker cockups and fucking pogs. This is a game changer, and good product for the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND.

Now, since according to Neil Gaiman, the role of the 12th Doctor was turned down by the most gifted black actor in the Empire thus setting in motion an unprecedented opportunity to experiment with some OLD WHITE GUY AS THE DOCTOR. Profound implications abound, seen as clearly as... uh...'er... wait a minute... who actually gives a fuck what Neil Gaiman thinks? If you're going to not give a fuck about something, you might as well hear it from Karen Carpenter, Bob-Marc and Sherilyn Connelly, joined by Whovian Scholars Sean Kelly, Puzzling Evidunce and KrOB.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: Hey, wrap a scarf around that!

Chatroom History
August 7, 2013 10:00pm - 5:30am

Reptilian Overlord: hey now (10:00pm)
Reptilian Overlord: hey Sherilyn im the dude from Sanger (10:00pm)
Companion: Whitey on Gallifrey. (10:00pm)
Reptilian Overlord: the anus of california (10:01pm)
Reptilian Overlord: im ready to have my brain split apart (10:02pm)
Reptilian Overlord: wish i had some straight dxm (10:02pm)
Companion: Girl Doooooctor. (10:02pm)
Reptilian Overlord: this show on 4meopcp sounds metallic (10:02pm)
Reptilian Overlord: infinite slices of metallic flanges making up the sound (10:04pm)
Companion: Can you crash show into Buckingham Palace, please? (10:05pm)
Reptilian Overlord: it wouldnt be enough to get the bunkers and dungeons (10:06pm)
Companion: http://bit.ly/13P10q3 (10:06pm)
Reptilian Overlord: http://bit.ly/1cejb1v (10:09pm)
Companion: KrOB!!!!!! (10:11pm)
Dr. Penny: Who doesn't love KrOB??????? (10:14pm)
Companion: Pete refuses to transmit the hug to KrOB. (10:15pm)
Companion: I don't think Sarah specified a GFE. (10:16pm)
Reptilian Overlord: You guys really sound like you need the seminar (10:18pm)
Reptilian Overlord: I mean really (10:18pm)
vj pussycat: what woody allen movie is that? (10:19pm)
vj pussycat: is this a new one? (10:20pm)
Sherilyn: Blue Jasmine, yep. Playing now, shot in SF. (10:20pm)
vj pussycat: so you liked it? (10:20pm)
vj pussycat: those are some strong review liners (10:21pm)
Sherilyn: The review bits are from here: http://bit.ly/1cekQnL (10:21pm)
vj pussycat: stelllllaaaaaaaa (10:22pm)
Sherilyn: And, I liked it. Mostly. I'm still too much in love with Woody's 70s output to be fair to his new movies. (10:22pm)
Companion: He should remake (10:22pm)
vj pussycat: thx (10:22pm)
Companion: He should remake "Last Tango in Paris," but be on the receiving end of the butter. (10:22pm)
Companion: Missing Persons (10:23pm)
Reptilian Overlord: icky icky icky kpang fuckin zoom (10:25pm)
Companion: I'll take nursery rhymes with "cock" for $200, Alex. (10:26pm)
Dr. Penny: "Give it to me hippie!" -- shouted by Huell while getting head from a long haired man. (10:29pm)
vj pussycat: get the buttah (10:31pm)
Companion: Can you believe there were nerds recording Dr. Who off the TV speaker with reel-to-reel recorders, which is why there is any record of some lost episodes? (10:33pm)
vj pussycat: I can appreciate what you're saying about the WA films of the 70's, but your review snippet sounds like it has issues (10:34pm)
Reptilian Overlord: stoney (10:34pm)
Companion: He only did 5.5 hours last week. (10:35pm)
Dr. Penny: "Give it to me hippie!" (10:35pm)
Reptilian Overlord: stoned air lint glad (10:35pm)
Companion: "That's amazUNNNNNGH!" (10:35pm)
Sherilyn: VJ -- because *I* have issues, obviously. (But they link to my full review, fwiw.) (10:36pm)
Sherilyn: Companion -- absolutely I can believe it. I did similar things with other shows in the early 80s. (10:36pm)
Companion: I will also admit to this geekery in the 1970s, but no tape is extant. (10:37pm)
vj pussycat: I think we're on the same page as far as his films are concerned. I'll still see it for sure. he's so prolific, it's amazing he can even still make likable stuff. I don't expect manhattan. (10:38pm)
Reptilian Overlord: http://bit.ly/1cen4Uj&ved=&url=http% 3A%2F%2Fwww.negativland.com%2Fdumb%2 Fblog%2F%3Fp%3D29&ei=3C4DUq_9DMHviQL tn4CgBQ&psig=AFQjCNHOaj16IiWuMNjE0Sz V00MhFJqNgw&ust=1376026716279228 (10:39pm)
Companion: Once again -- as with alternative education in the 1970s -- there will be an attempt at legitimacy which will fuck up everything good and bear no fruit. (10:40pm)
Companion: As a communications major, I hope you find the communications major in the bunch and toss him out a window. (10:41pm)
Dr. Penny: I thought you were trying to get the listeners to stop listening! (10:41pm)
Companion: LISTENER ERADICATION PROJECT GO! (10:42pm)
Reptilian Overlord: The problem is the point, there is none. (10:42pm)
Sherilyn: White Album - Side 1 x 100 -- http://bit.ly/1cenry6 (10:43pm)
Companion: I came. (10:43pm)
Dr. Penny: and so did Huell (10:44pm)
Companion: I was just about to request Rockin' the Tardis. I think I might be Sherilyn in another time-stream. (10:51pm)
sophiesunset: hey pete! text sean kelly the door code (10:54pm)
sophiesunset: door code that is. (10:55pm)
sophiesunset: or drop the sonic screwdriver out the window on a string (10:55pm)
Companion: http://bit.ly/1cepzG3 (10:57pm)
Companion: Depressing statistic: Word count of the Wikipedia.com entry for Henry David Thoreau: 6505. Wikipedia.com entry for The Doctor: 21,094 words. (10:59pm)
Sherilyn: Thank you for listening to THE TARDIS! (10:59pm)
Dr. Penny: And be sure not to misspell it: http://bit.ly/1ceq8Qm (11:00pm)
Companion: Yeah! It's the drug portion of the show! (11:02pm)
Poo: on portion control (11:03pm)
Companion: Bloop! (11:07pm)
Companion: Everybody drink! Flange! (11:09pm)
Companion: That's why this is my favorite show. Fuck libertarians! (11:12pm)
Companion: Tvarves. (11:12pm)
Companion: Twarrow. (11:13pm)
Companion: GirlNavi (11:14pm)
Dr. Penny: They're gonna have a Navi land at the new Shanghai Disneyland. (11:15pm)
sophiesunset: and now there are comics... (11:17pm)
Dr. Penny: I've never seen a complete episode either. (11:17pm)
Companion: But some of the arcs of the Fourth Doctor are like 19 episodes long. (11:17pm)
Dr. Penny: Ahhh, yes, load them all!!!!!!!!!!!! (11:17pm)
Companion: I gave my daughter every single episode for Christmas, thanks to Intenet theft. (11:18pm)
Dr. Penny: And Bear Daddy Fantasy can take the episodes down!!!!! (11:21pm)
Poo: is with Girl Navi (11:25pm)
Poo: called chief whip in Parliment. (11:26pm)
Poo: like Francis Uckhart? (11:26pm)
Smiles: So, Love Me. (11:27pm)
Smiles: , they're just bein' all AM right now... (11:29pm)
Rock M. Quarry, Esquire: Dey hates me... (11:31pm)
Sherilyn: Sod off, Quarry! (11:32pm)
Rock M. Quarry, Esquire: I'm off to tell me MP 'bout NHLG... (11:32pm)
Sorry,: Never having to say... (11:35pm)
Sorry,: I could be watching the 3:00 AM movie... (11:39pm)
Sorry,: I could have been from Sutherland... (11:40pm)
Sorry,: I could have been watching Deadwood... (11:41pm)
Sorry,: I could have been mental... (11:43pm)
sophiesunset: THE HEDGEHOG (11:44pm)
Ron Jeremy: Leave me alone. (11:44pm)
Dr. Penny: "Give it to me hippie!" (11:44pm)
sophiesunset: THE HEDGEHOG (11:45pm)
Perfect_Timing: He mentions horse cock quite a bit often... (11:45pm)
The Hedgehog: is an anti-submarine weapon of the '50's (11:46pm)
Perfect_Timing: Twaaaaaaaat (11:46pm)
Perfect_Timing: You mean beaver...? (11:46pm)
Perfect_Timing: I mean, you know the guy? (11:46pm)
No,: Quim... (11:46pm)
Muffins: for ears (11:47pm)
Perfect_Timing: The action figure had a name. (11:47pm)
Bob Mark: is a martian (11:48pm)
Companion: goonightk, sinners (11:48pm)
Perfect_Timing: "Boushh" (11:48pm)
Ron Jerryme: ......mental...... (11:49pm)
Perfect_Timing: http://bit.ly/13Pd4aQ (11:49pm)
sophiesunset: BAG END (11:49pm)
Billmebo: Bag Ends (11:50pm)
Billmebo: Shower Theme (11:50pm)
sophiesunset: http://bit.ly/13PdiyS (11:50pm)
Perfect_Timing: And there's much controversy about Star Wars Boushh looking like Star Trek Breen... (11:51pm)
Perfect_Timing: I know about the Puppet. (11:54pm)
Perfect_Timing: It played the devil in one of the last episodes of TZL SX. (11:55pm)
Evil Poupee: Massive Gay Attack (11:59pm)
The StoryTellers: Hurry Up!!! (12:01am)
sophiesunset: back bench (12:04am)
sophiesunset: not back bend (12:04am)
The StoryTellers: ROBOODJ!!!!!!!! (12:05am)
Poo: SEAN KELLEY HELP US!!!!!!!!!! (12:05am)
vj pussycat: four days till breaking bad : ) (12:09am)
sophiesunset: weeping angels scarier than scottish piglet (12:12am)
sophiesunset: eccleston also scottish (12:14am)
sophiesunset: ALIEN (12:16am)
Perfect_Timing: The Church Lady (12:18am)

Someone who shall remain nameless (because we don't know their name) once called national parks "America's Best Idea." Obviously, that person has never encountered the bacon-wrapped hot dog, nor its humble progenitor, the deep-fried Twinkie. But parks are probably up there in the top 20 ideas, at the very least. Because who doesn't like lots and lots of trees and rocks, right? Then again, what about Teide National Park in Tenerife? That's not even an American idea, because it's not in America. This whole thing beginning to make less and less sense, and tonight on the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, Karen Carpenter, Bob-Marc, and Sherilyn Connelly will make even less sense than that.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: What about Tenerife?

Chatroom History
July 31, 2013 10:00pm - 5:29am

QueefMaskReplica: hey good people (10:15pm)
vj pussycat: i can't listen cuz i'm at a show (10:16pm)
Walter Sobchek: so is KROB part of the gang now? (10:16pm)
Walter Sobchek: FUCKIN TRAINS!!! (10:34pm)
Alan Benard: Speak of the devil. . . (10:48pm)
Alan Benard: You guys are sweet. (10:48pm)
Alan Benard: Now if I could only remember what you just said I could find. . . (10:49pm)
Alan Benard: Dwarves . . . That's good eatin'! Right. (10:50pm)
Walter Sobchek: does tune in count? (10:51pm)
Alan Benard: Well, that E-skip better be a motherfucker tonight if it's reaching Ann Arbor (10:51pm)
Walter Sobchek: The real boob tube (10:52pm)
Walter Sobchek: Hey SHerliyn - Im originally from Sanger (10:52pm)
Walter Sobchek: dont say fresno- say fresyes (10:53pm)
Alan Benard: July 13th, 2:09pm: (10:53pm)
Alan Benard: "dwarves? now there's a supper!" -- KrOB Sabrepop (10:53pm)
Alan Benard: Stayed up until 2 a.m. to listen on a school night? (10:59pm)
Alan Benard: IN RE: Pete's earlier comment about making things so human's can'f fail and screw them up: http://bit.ly/1cg8LxF (11:06pm)
Alan Benard: Not nearly enough distortion. (11:17pm)
Sherilyn: MOAR DISTORTION! (11:18pm)
Alan Benard: Does the neighbor have her panty pyramid built yet? (11:24pm)
Alan Benard: I have to sleep, will listen to podcast. Cheers (11:27pm)
Cheers: Sleep, little audience....... (12:56am)
vj pussycat: is it over? (1:11am)
vj pussycat: that's me (1:34am)

When "The Golden Age of Television - Part 17" is committed to the cloud by our most scholarly bloggers, some will remember the age for the shocking body count of shows such as The Shield, Deadwood, Game of Thrones and of course, Desperate Housewives. One overlooked cable show about a mild mannered high school teacher / wacky dad will be noted for no other reason than the extermination of 247 souls in 5 & 1/2 seasons. Now granted that 167 were unnamed passengers on the Wayfarer 515 and JM 21 flights (let's just pause this moment to hit you over the head with Seven Thirty-Seven Down Over ABQ, and mention that single error accidents by overworked, non-union ATC are almost unimaginable, but rather the consequence of multiple factors). So that leaves 80 dead, but who counts tweaker accidents, suicides and aspirated vomit? (and don't cry me no tears over that skinny junkie girlfriend, she had options). Now clearly white supremacists, The Cousins, and Mike Ehrmantraut were engaged in as clear path as their genetics and tender nurturing would determine, so credit 33 more to natural selection. That leaves only 21 for Gus and 23 for Walter. Gus was always avenging his murdered brother, and since he had already ordered all those Dos Hermanos napkins, well, anyone who sat through Greek theater class would do the same. So Walter killed 23, BUT ONLY 7 WITH HIS OWN HANDS. Jeebus, more listeners die each week listening to the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND... where is our fucking Emmy?

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: There are two Mr. Whites.

Chatroom History
July 24, 2013 10:00pm - 1:30am

vj pussycat: WALTER!! (10:02pm)
vj pussycat: That's exactly what happened to us (10:08pm)
vj pussycat: james cameron of course! (10:11pm)
Perfect_Timing: Elton Jon?N (10:18pm)
Perfect_Timing: Science! (10:19pm)
Perfect_Timing: It works, bitches. (10:19pm)
Perfect_Timing: I prefer NaOH. (10:20pm)
Perfect_Timing: That's pretty strong coffee.. (10:21pm)
Perfect_Timing: He's the Richard Feynman of amateur meth chemists? (10:23pm)
RevDead: you got a long wayto go and catch up (10:27pm)
RevDead: hope no one spoils (10:27pm)
RevDead: its shake and bake and I helped (10:28pm)
Aslan: stream is dropping (10:30pm)
Dr. Penny: Particles in acceleration. (10:31pm)
Aslan: shifting to (Ema)Nation (10:32pm)
RevDead: i want some speed (10:33pm)
Perfect_Timing: North Polar ice melts don't affect sea levels, tho. (10:35pm)
Perfect_Timing: South polar ice caps would. (10:37pm)
Perfect_Timing: Ice floating in water doesn't raise levels. (10:37pm)
Perfect_Timing: Yup (10:37pm)
Perfect_Timing: I'm almost there.. (Lemoore) (10:38pm)
Perfect_Timing: Subs (10:38pm)
vj pussycat: http://bit.ly/1dWBl3t (10:38pm)
RevDead: http://bit.ly/1dWBmEs (10:39pm)
Ice: i break anything i want (10:39pm)
Ice: I break Anything I want. (10:39pm)
Ice: I brake any stint I flaunt (10:40pm)
Perfect_Timing: Breaching (10:40pm)
Frances' Dad: Titanic (10:40pm)
Perfect_Timing: James Brolin (10:42pm)
Perfect_Timing: Donald Sutherland (10:42pm)
vj pussycat: Charlie sheen (10:43pm)
Frances' Dad: Kirk and Michael Douglas (10:43pm)
Perfect_Timing: No! Nicholas Cage was NOT in The Wicker Man! (10:44pm)
Frances' Dad: Jeff and Lloyd bridges (10:44pm)
Frances' Dad: Gary and Jake Busey (10:45pm)
vj pussycat: George c Scott (10:46pm)
Frances' Dad: Ed begley JR & SR (10:46pm)
Frances' Dad: not yet (10:47pm)
vj pussycat: Morton Downey sr and jr (10:47pm)
Frances' Dad: hi (10:47pm)
Frances' Dad: it will suck (10:47pm)
Perfect_Timing: Thank god.. Found Footage month has been hard... (10:47pm)
Perfect_Timing: Hi Jim (10:47pm)
Frances' Dad: finally (10:47pm)
Frances' Dad: godzilla (10:48pm)
Perfect_Timing: GODZILLA!!! (10:48pm)
Frances' Dad: GODZILLA (10:48pm)
Perfect_Timing: Gojira!!!! (10:48pm)
Frances' Dad: GAH!!!!!!! (10:48pm)
Perfect_Timing: You just texted her didn't you. (10:48pm)
Frances' Dad: no (10:48pm)
Frances' Dad: Faints (10:49pm)
Perfect_Timing: Well, just off stage left... (10:49pm)
vj pussycat: who is frances (10:49pm)
Frances' Dad: You said it (10:49pm)
vj pussycat: i can't (10:50pm)
Perfect_Timing: Frances the puppy (10:50pm)
Frances' Dad: :) (10:50pm)
vj pussycat: : ( (10:50pm)
Frances' Dad: Jake Busey was in Contact with Jodie Foster (10:50pm)
Perfect_Timing: And Sutherland! (10:50pm)
Perfect_Timing: He was also in Starship Troopers. (10:51pm)
vj pussycat: he was in entourage (10:51pm)
Frances' Dad: The Bridges!! (10:51pm)
vj pussycat: and sutherlands (10:52pm)
vj pussycat: i think (10:52pm)
Frances' Dad: goldie hawn kate hudson (10:52pm)
vj pussycat: who is nicholas guest (10:52pm)
Frances' Dad: judy garland and liza minnelli (10:53pm)
Frances' Dad: Lon Chaney Jr and Sr (10:53pm)
vj pussycat: john and angelica huston (10:54pm)
Frances' Dad: Jack Cassiday and David (10:54pm)
Frances' Dad: I can't lose my cell phone (10:55pm)
vj pussycat: is this frances: http://on.fb.me/1dWCWGD (10:56pm)
Frances' Dad: thats francis (10:56pm)
Frances' Dad: not frances (10:56pm)
vj pussycat: got it (10:57pm)
vj pussycat: hell yea! (10:57pm)
vj pussycat: laura dern (10:57pm)
vj pussycat: and bruce (10:57pm)
Perfect_Timing: Tom Hanks and Colin Hanks? (10:57pm)
Frances' Dad: Michael and Samuel L. Jackson (10:57pm)
vj pussycat: sherilyn liberace (10:57pm)
Perfect_Timing: I've always preferred the RZA to the GZA.. (10:58pm)
Frances' Dad: Christopher and Bruce Lee (10:58pm)
vj pussycat: michael douglas was good in two movies: falling down and liberace (10:58pm)
Frances' Dad: Roy and Fred Rogers (10:58pm)
Perfect_Timing: Christopher and Amanda Plummer (10:58pm)
vj pussycat: good (10:59pm)
Frances' Dad: lloyud (10:59pm)
Perfect_Timing: Lloyd Bridges (10:59pm)
Frances' Dad: lloyd (10:59pm)
Frances' Dad: lloyd (10:59pm)
Perfect_Timing: "by this time my lungs were ACHING FOR AIR!!!" (10:59pm)
Dr. Penny: the talent of nhlg is the knowledge base (11:00pm)
vj pussycat: rick james and james dean (11:00pm)
Perfect_Timing: Has anyone seen Mike C Hunt?? (11:00pm)
Frances' Dad: hah (11:00pm)
vj pussycat: c mike hunt (11:00pm)
Frances' Dad: lie (11:00pm)
vj pussycat: walt jr (11:00pm)
Perfect_Timing: Still looking for Mike Hunt! (11:00pm)
Perfect_Timing: It's done her career no matter of wonders... (11:01pm)
Frances' Dad: Buster and Diane Keaton (11:01pm)
vj pussycat: gene wilder and john c reilly (11:01pm)
Perfect_Timing: And Michael (Hunt) Keaton. (11:01pm)
Perfect_Timing: He has a mild case of CP. (11:02pm)
Perfect_Timing: The actor, that is. (11:02pm)
Perfect_Timing: He exaggerates it for his character. (11:02pm)
vj pussycat: he should kill skylar first (11:02pm)
Frances' Dad: Val Kilmer and Scooter Kilmer (11:02pm)
vj pussycat: he cant walk but he can fly (11:03pm)
4H: I'm a bad fan, I was waiting for the show to start and then got derailed by a punk thread on 4chan. (11:03pm)
vj pussycat: desi arnaz sr/jr (11:03pm)
vj pussycat: the lamas' winnner!! (11:04pm)
Perfect_Timing: *I'm* the one with the Tiffany crush! (11:04pm)
Perfect_Timing: Sharknado was an Asylum production for SyFy. (11:04pm)
Frances' Dad: James Franco and Generalissimo Francisco Franco (11:04pm)
vj pussycat: yea i know someone in that movie (11:04pm)
Perfect_Timing: Jim always wins this game. (11:04pm)
Perfect_Timing: Which one is still dead..? (11:05pm)
Perfect_Timing: I should go see if I can still use the hottub at this hotel even tho it's officially closed... (11:05pm)
vj pussycat: that would be the general (11:05pm)
Perfect_Timing: 415-something-something (11:06pm)
vj pussycat: of course you can. didn't you bring your wire cutters (11:06pm)
4H: Kights in Service to Satan! (11:06pm)
Frances' Dad: WC and Sally Fields (11:07pm)
Perfect_Timing: I think the fence is slightly more significant than chain link.. (11:07pm)
vj pussycat: dwarf or midget (11:07pm)
Perfect_Timing: Anyone Baldwin and Anyone Else Baldwin (11:07pm)
4H: I hope they figure out how the chatbox can get the money to Hal. (11:07pm)
vj pussycat: tnt (11:07pm)
Frances' Dad: Lou and Elvis Costello (11:08pm)
vj pussycat: don't forget spray paint for the security cam (11:08pm)
vj pussycat: fred and pee wee herman (11:09pm)
Frances' Dad: I love my shower (11:11pm)
Perfect_Timing: I have a laser for the security cam. (11:11pm)
Perfect_Timing: I think I'm too full of Harris Ranch cow to try tho.. (11:11pm)
Frances' Dad: Harris steaks!!! jealous now (11:12pm)
vj pussycat: Where are you? Madonna inn? (11:13pm)
4H: Vincent and Fisher Price (11:13pm)
Frances' Dad: i have a 100,000 bar (11:13pm)
4H: Don't say d------- (11:14pm)
Perfect_Timing: Madonna Inn?? I'm not in SLO. (11:15pm)
vj pussycat: I have a tile question (11:15pm)
Perfect_Timing: I'm in Lemoore. (11:15pm)
vj pussycat: I know someone who used to live there (11:15pm)
Perfect_Timing: Ugh... Rave scene of Matrix Reloaded is just starting on HoBO.. (11:15pm)
Frances' Dad: Alan Hale Jr and SR (11:16pm)
vj pussycat: Booooooring (11:16pm)
Perfect_Timing: I know someone who used to live here too.. Sadly, she and her massive breasts moved to Texas and got married (again)... (11:16pm)
Frances' Dad: no he said Eons and eons (11:16pm)
vj pussycat: Sad. I used to live in texas (11:16pm)
Perfect_Timing: I actually don't.. I think I only have a hard copy of Contact. (11:17pm)
Frances' Dad: We still have Bill Nye (11:17pm)
Frances' Dad: read the directions (11:17pm)
Perfect_Timing: He said "billions", but not "billions and billions".. That was Ronald McDonald... (11:17pm)
Frances' Dad: Fred and Roy Rogers (11:18pm)
4H: All those dinosars got gay married. (11:18pm)
Perfect_Timing: I should see if the wifi here let's me download.. They have an easy coast cable feed. Missed the Daily Show. (11:18pm)
Perfect_Timing: There are dinosaur furries....? Scalies..? (11:18pm)
Frances' Dad: hey (11:19pm)
Perfect_Timing: Brace for calls, Jim. (11:19pm)
Perfect_Timing: Earth, Hitler, 1938. (11:20pm)
Frances' Dad: yes hello, this isnt NHLG, please stop calling (11:20pm)
Frances' Dad: so he takes total recall?!?!?!? (11:21pm)
4H: I'm certain that movie studios are drag-racing to his house in dump trucks full of currency. (11:22pm)
vj pussycat: they're all going to die (11:22pm)
Frances' Dad: walter was still alive in the flash forward at the beginning of last season (11:23pm)
vj pussycat: ewww skylar (11:23pm)
4H: Is there a guy in a hockey mask? (11:23pm)
vj pussycat: marie is way cooler than skylar (11:24pm)
Frances' Dad: She was the daughter of Q!! (11:24pm)
Perfect_Timing: He didn't murder her.. He just let her die. (11:26pm)
Perfect_Timing: The phone number is for closers. (11:30pm)
Dr. Penny: Deadly gym accident (11:31pm)
Perfect_Timing: Ded Ahn Lahn Ding? (11:31pm)
Dr. Penny: Deadly iPad electrocution. (11:33pm)
4H: Take your mukluks out of the Cellophane before they scorch. (11:34pm)
Perfect_Timing: Can you turn UP your radio please...? (11:35pm)
4H: Lung cancer. (11:35pm)
4H: Sam Kinison died in a car accident completely sober. (11:35pm)
4H: Richard Jenny hung himself. (11:35pm)
Frances' Dad: im on the phone (11:36pm)
Perfect_Timing: Jim's on the phone. (11:36pm)
4H: Dave's not here, man. (11:36pm)
4H: Ahhhhhh.... (11:38pm)
Logout: call screaming (11:39pm)
Frances' Dad: And get me a shrubbery (11:39pm)
Logout: livassdralshow (11:39pm)
4H: Everyone has to send money. (11:39pm)
Parking People: We Smart... (11:40pm)
France's Dad: Jacobins, eh? (11:41pm)
France's Dad: with ammo, I see... (11:41pm)
France's Dad: Col Heinz Kromer. Vom Rippentrough' sun in law (11:42pm)
Methabuse: Destroy all. (11:42pm)
Frances' Dad: dr nick! (11:42pm)
Sun de Soleil: Leave me alone............. (11:42pm)
Methabuse: Scene......and, thank you. (11:43pm)
Frances' Dad: Leave Britney alone (11:43pm)
France's Dad: The Coast will take care of it's own, sir. (11:44pm)
Dr. Penny: meth mania makeover (11:44pm)
MethAbuse: "Not all Fake". (11:45pm)
Karen Carpenter: "So, this is all their is?" (11:46pm)
Sun de Soleil: which country? (11:46pm)
Pie: Men love me. (11:49pm)
Perfect_Timing: There was a fish... In the percolator... (11:50pm)
Pie: and steam in the zombie... (11:52pm)
Perfect_Timing: There are two of them. (11:53pm)
Perfect_Timing: Lovelace movies. (11:53pm)
Pie: and none at home... (11:53pm)
Perfect_Timing: I wonder who plays Thora Birch's mother. (11:53pm)
Pie: Love Old Lace Movies (11:53pm)
Perfect_Timing: She's naked a lot. (11:54pm)
Perfect_Timing: Juno, that is. (11:54pm)
Perfect_Timing: Herbert... HERBERT!! (11:55pm)
Aslan: Why does Hollywood always cast straight actors in gay roles? Can't find gay actors in L.A. ? (11:56pm)
Perfect_Timing: James Franco plays Hugh Hefner??? (11:56pm)
Perfect_Timing: And speaking of Deep Throat, Chloe Sevigny is in the cast... Hmmmm... (11:57pm)
Pie: Its Krop (11:58pm)
Pie: says hello to it (11:59pm)
Pie: what gone caller know? (11:59pm)
Dr. Penny: does the sleeping bag have helium in it? (12:01am)
Perfect_Timing: But it's Captain Jack, so it's apropos. (12:03am)
God,: There is no... (12:04am)
Perfect_Timing: The other Lovelace movie is "Inferno".. It's the one that was supposed to star LiLo.. And is now start (12:04am)
LSD: Flip out on me! (12:04am)
Perfect_Timing: Grrrr... (12:04am)
Perfect_Timing: And is now starring, get this: Sasha Grey. (12:05am)
LSD: I'll get that sasha grey (12:05am)
Dr. Penny: Take us down Bear Daddy Fantasy! (12:05am)
Perfect_Timing: Because it's Captain Jack.. A drug song.. Sheez... (12:05am)
Perfect_Timing: Drugs on Lawn Guyland (12:06am)
LSD: Guys in Drugland (12:06am)
KroBecleSes: I'll Hang! (12:07am)
KroBecleSes: in Barstow... (12:07am)
KroBecleSes: the strangled show, that is. (12:07am)
KroBecleSes: maybe the batteries are out on my phone (12:08am)
Dr Notfiasco: "Huh?!" (12:09am)
Perfect_Timing: He did a lot of coke.. (12:09am)
Dr. Penny: Up next, the Storytellers read the mail order guide to making your own basement meth lab (12:11am)
Breaking Mad: Done already, like this show.... (12:12am)
NHLG: Bye. Gone. Done. Eat our Radio Dust. See footnote: fished (12:12am)
Perfect_Timing: Bybye (12:13am)

We don't mean against little people -- we mean against the word "dwarves." And we don't even mean it ourselves, as the NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND triumvirate of Karen Carpenter, Bob-Marc, and Sherilyn Connelly for their FINAL BROADCAST all find the word to be perfectly cromulent. But there are those who find that particular pluralization distasteful and and would prefer we all used the word "dwarfs," thank you very much. To them we say, you just keep standing your ground on that issue! Especially since we'll probably end up saying "dwarves" a lot, just because.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: We don't have a leg to stand on.

Chatroom History
July 17, 2013 10:00pm - 1:30am

vj pussycat: that was my question!!! (10:02pm)
Farm Report: You're my hero, vj pussycat. (10:02pm)
Farm Report: You're in for a ride, vj. (10:03pm)
vj pussycat: getting a lot of mileage from that question - can I get tequila instead of fernet? (10:03pm)
Farm Report: To be fair, Hal did preface it all by saying they prefer to be called "little people." But, yeah. (10:05pm)
Farm Report: Clarence Dwarrow? (10:06pm)
Farm Report: weasle033 (10:07pm)
Farm Report: LOL (10:09pm)
vj pussycat: the best thing about that tj's is the shopping cart escalator (10:10pm)
Farm Report: Is that Slim Pickins? (10:15pm)
Sherilyn: Very true, VJ Pussycat. (10:21pm)
vj pussycat: aw gee whiz farm report (10:22pm)
vj pussycat: right?! the escalator (10:23pm)
vj pussycat: what did PE do before NHLG? (10:24pm)
Farm Report: You're welcome. I'm temporarily honored. (10:26pm)
Farm Report: I'm just pleased you can use it. I love listening to it. (10:26pm)
TAFKACB: TheArtistFormerlyKnownAsCopy"Bob" (10:27pm)
Farm Report: PUZZLING EVIDENCE! (10:29pm)
TAFKACB: http://bit.ly/13yJ6Xh (10:29pm)
Farm Report: It's like that trick you used to be able to do with reel-to-real tape machines where you looped the play head back into the record head. (10:30pm)
Farm Report: Okay, I hit that Ustream link and now the recursion is becoming a naked singularity. (10:31pm)
Farm Report: Some dwarves done bit my sister Nell, and whitey's on the moon. (10:35pm)
TAFKACB: DWARF INVASION??? (10:36pm)
Farm Report: The abyss gazes also at dirty clothes. (10:38pm)
sparklesparkle: jared rusten has 'furniture@gmail' (10:43pm)
sparklesparkle: also pretty epic! (10:43pm)
bE8578AyCAIA: http://bit.ly/11YSdXb (11:08pm)
vj pussycat: best skit evah! (11:16pm)
Perfect_Timing: It's in episode 4 in the Adywan's revisited version. Hi. (11:19pm)
noche: Good job religionless one, you'll take down that one and get back to your golden ways. (11:20pm)
Perfect_Timing: Atari 2600 KABOOM! (11:21pm)
Perfect_Timing: He gets sick EVERYWHERE. Most recently south America. (11:24pm)
Perfect_Timing: That's a speak n spell on module select with no module inserted.... (11:25pm)
Perfect_Timing: AW SHIT!!!! (11:30pm)
Perfect_Timing: No Apollo 18 plug???? (11:37pm)
Perfect_Timing: C'mon Sherilyn (11:38pm)
Perfect_Timing: Ira's always gonna be there... (11:42pm)
Perfect_Timing: Even tho he's just pulling into Monterey right now. (11:42pm)
Heisenberg : where's my tighty whities? (11:49pm)
vj pussycat: tighty whities on the moon (11:51pm)
sparklesparkle: how much sexting can get stuffed in five minutes? (11:55pm)

Hello, this is your captain speaking. Who did you expect, Hellen Keller? That would be nuts, she couldn't even read the airspeed indicator. Anyway... we're cruising right now at, oh, let's see, 30 feet above beautiful America's Cup Product Placement Bay, just flew passed the outer marker and under the San Mateo Bridge. We here in the NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND cockpit, Captain Karen Carpenter, First Officer Sherilyn Connelly and Purser Bob-Marc Roper, all ex-military fundamentalist Republicans, know you have a choice in airlines, except when you visit your mom in North Dakota. Today however, we are happy to have another on-time arrival at San Francisco so all you disgusting degenerates can pursue your alternative lifestyles and die soon of the gayest of sins. This will be the FINAL BROADCAST before landing so please remain seated and stop screaming. I'm going to press this bright red button now. Wheeeeeeee!

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: Please enjoy the inflight entertainment

Chatroom History
July 10, 2013 10:00pm - 3:30am

vj pussycat: I'm busy (10:17pm)
Dr. Penny: They ate up his resignation (10:19pm)
Aslan: -"-!:))/ (10:23pm)
Aslan: Red (10:31pm)
Aslan: Red lamp. What color is it? (10:32pm)
Aslan: I'm painting my room light blue :) (10:33pm)
TAFKACB: Blaaarrrggghhh!!!! (10:48pm)
my room is pink: hang up that phone (11:01pm)
TAFKACB: no (11:11pm)
sparklesparkle: I KNEW I was buying a prject! (11:40pm)
sparklesparkle: I was lookng for something in better shape, but the boat was so cute. (11:41pm)
Aslan: I recently moved into a flat on Valencia @ 21st. and can't get the fm signal. (11:48pm)

Four score and seven years ago no one on NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND was born and their carefree parents-to-be were celebrating the end of WWII. Then, over the terrible post-war boom, everyone was forced to get married and have dependents for tax purposes. The country has been in decline ever since and clearly it's the fault of someone named Eisenhower. Funny name, but he was a Republican who raised taxes, so obviously it wasn't his name or even first choice.

The only hope is a quick and painless death from cheap Mexican fireworks on Thursday, so join the doomed Karen Carpenter, Bob-Marc, Sherilyn Connelly, Dr. Fiasco, Krob, and Puzzling Evidence for their FINAL BROADCAST.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: Multiply each dependent on Line 51 by $2300 and kill yourself.

Chatroom History
July 3, 2013 10:00pm - 1:30am

Sherilyn: Okay, here goes nothin'... (10:01pm)
Sherilyn: After Whitey and the moon business, of course. (10:01pm)
4H Club: I wanna marry this poem. (10:01pm)
Sherilyn: FRESNO, damnit. (10:04pm)
vj pussycat: hey it's dr fiasco! (10:04pm)
Sherilyn: Workin' on it! (10:04pm)
Dr. Penny: Dr. Fiasco returns!!!!!! I love Dr. Fiasco!!!!!!! (10:05pm)
4H Club: Poor gerbil. (10:05pm)
vj pussycat: poor poor gerbil (10:05pm)
Sherilyn: Commencing with the popping! (10:05pm)
4H Club: Like Andy Warhol. (10:06pm)
vj pussycat: He's dead (10:06pm)
4H Club: Another guy killed by Big Pharma. (10:06pm)
4H Club: Schvitzing like a schemdrek. (10:08pm)
Sherilyn: Do you hear Powerhouse? (10:08pm)
Sherilyn: I'm going! I'm going! (10:08pm)
Dr. Penny: Dr. Swimsuit Model! (10:08pm)
Sherilyn: It's true -- I still can't get onto the RV wifi, even from my mom's house. (10:09pm)
4H Club: I have a request. Could you talk about how the remote source won't work for 20 minutes? (10:09pm)
Karen Carpenter: I never have touble getting into your mom'ss (10:12pm)
Sherilyn: Nope, it is not. (10:12pm)
Sherilyn: Continuing to try, and Karen Carpenter is ill AND WILL GET ME ILL IF I CALL. (10:13pm)
4H Club: Oh, snap. (10:13pm)
4H Club: Karen Carpenter's microbes route where Robo DJ won't. (10:15pm)
Sherilyn: The thing of it is, the Null SHOUTcast source thingy sez I'm all connected and sending many bytes. And yet. Mystery! (10:17pm)
Sherilyn: I am lithely Estonian-like! (10:19pm)
Sherilyn: Do not question my conjugation, Bob-Marc. (10:20pm)
Sherilyn: "Those people?" "THOSE PEOPLE?" (10:22pm)
vj pussycat: what was lucia's boat? plastic fake floating vomit? (10:22pm)
Karen Carpenter: some wrote chicken was all helpful friendly and nurturing (10:24pm)
Karen Carpenter: (yeah I laughed too) (10:25pm)
vj pussycat: same as burning man - before and after is best (10:25pm)
4H Club: Stockholm Syndrome (10:30pm)
Sherilyn: Rebecca DeMornay co-wrote that song! (10:34pm)
Sherilyn: "Anthem." (10:35pm)
Sherilyn: My brain remembers all the wrong things. (10:35pm)
Sherilyn: I did not give up -- the picture below is my Shoutcast thingy, which SAYS that I'm connected. (10:36pm)
Sherilyn: And yet. Reality is fux0red! (10:36pm)
4H Club: If the serving machine says it is serving and the peer cannot connect, the peer might just be misconfigured, just saying. (10:38pm)
Sherilyn: Nope, that's not me. (10:41pm)
Sherilyn: I am playing clicking and popping sounds -- or, in this case, movie trailers. (10:41pm)
Karen Carpenter: Mexican Monsoon Moisture (10:45pm)
Karen Carpenter: somethiing furry (10:46pm)
Karen Carpenter: Fresno... Gateway to Bakersfield (10:48pm)
4H Club: http://bit.ly/1b9ap1Z (10:57pm)
Karen Carpenter: http://bit.ly/1b9aumlen-us:IE-Search Box&oe=UTF-8&rlz=1I7GGLL_enUS329&um= 1&ie=UTF-8&hl=en&tbm=isch&source=og& sa=N&tab=wi&ei=FQ_VUcTFKKS8iwL7u4CIC A&biw=1067&bih=496&sei=HQ_VUZ24EYWEi wLU2YGIDw (10:59pm)
4H Club: Can't make it work? :sadface: (11:01pm)
Karen Carpenter: yeah, just google images of BEAR DADDY FANTASY (11:02pm)
4H Club: Huh. Looks like me, only attractive. (11:05pm)
Karen Carpenter: http://bit.ly/1b9biYi (11:08pm)
Karen Carpenter: watched Warburton tonight in The Dish.... eh (11:16pm)
Sherilyn: Eh! (11:17pm)
4H Club: That's delightful! (11:18pm)
4H Club: Where have all the queers gone, long time passing. (11:20pm)
vj pussycat: Richard cheese (11:29pm)
Sherilyn: If anyone has "Tony Sings the Great Hits of Today!", please send it to the station ASAP. (11:42pm)
Sherilyn: Has the show in fact turned into a swirling vortex of static and distant voices, or is it just my phone? (11:44pm)
Dr. Penny: that was pretty intense (11:46pm)
Sherilyn: Instead, how about Boris Karloff selling A-1 Sauce? http://bit.ly/15hwicI (11:51pm)
Sherilyn: VORTEXING AGAIN! (11:52pm)
Sherilyn: 4 minutes, Jim. (11:56pm)

He was getting into a bit of trouble at home and a lot of neighborhood cats went missing, so NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND sent Bob-Marc to summer camp. Too skinny for I'm Not Fat, I'm Big Boned Camp, too punk for NRA Academy, not exaggerated enough for Susan Sontag's Camp, and too ADHD for Little Lego Tweakers, all that was left was Camp Tipsy. I know what you're thinking and no, he's not too stupid for Camp Tipsy. Hey, don't be mean, he's just the right amount of stupid.

Despite the fact he never once wrote home, not even a postcard, Karen Carpenter, Sherilyn Connelly and KrOB will waste the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND to listen to Bob-Marc's tale of misadventure, put lotion on its sunburned skin and try not to retch at his all too-detailed coming of age story.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: When you hear Kumbayah, the show is over.

Chatroom History
June 26, 2013 10:00pm - 4:30am

Dr. Penny: Where is Dr. Fiasco for priceless commentary on gay rights?! (10:22pm)
vj pussycat: why does this feel like killing time? (10:22pm)
vj pussycat: eww dreadlocks (10:24pm)
vj pussycat: dr. fiasco doesn't work here anymore (10:27pm)
vj pussycat: ya'll should do a whole show without using any contractions (10:30pm)
vj pussycat: I mean, you all (10:30pm)
Dead Farm Bill: Jesus, I have to be up at 6. Why am I here? (10:32pm)
Dead Farm Bill: Cut him in half and count the rings to learn his age. (10:33pm)
vj pussycat: bacon wrapped hot dog 321... (10:34pm)
Dead Farm Bill: Just order stuff at random. Lobster bisque, bloomin' onion, monkey brains. (10:36pm)
Dead Farm Bill: Oooh, I like the mean guy! (10:38pm)
Dead Farm Bill: Mandatory marriage. Report to the stadium for your assignment. (10:40pm)
vj pussycat: whitey's on the moon (10:42pm)
Dead Farm Bill: With two taikonatus you get eggroll. (10:43pm)
Dead Farm Bill: LOL vj pussycat (10:43pm)
Dead Farm Bill: http://cbsn.ws/1coZuyS (10:45pm)
vj pussycat: karen, do not end sentences with a personal pronoun (10:48pm)
Dead Farm Bill: Goddamn listeners! (10:49pm)
vj pussycat: woo hoo! go china! (10:50pm)
Perfect_Timing: I'm stuck on a dang mountain... (10:50pm)
Dead Farm Bill: But if you slit your wrist first you have lube. (10:51pm)
Perfect_Timing: It has decent cell service! (10:51pm)
Perfect_Timing: For now, at least. (10:52pm)
Perfect_Timing: Ludicrous radio? (10:52pm)
Perfect_Timing: Ben Folds 5 and Barenaked Ladies rocked... (10:53pm)
Perfect_Timing: Ah... I'm moving.. Ttyl. (10:53pm)
vj pussycat: y'all are making me hungry. stop it. (10:55pm)
vj pussycat: yea thanks (10:59pm)
vj pussycat: mmmm pickles (10:59pm)
vj pussycat: I doubt it (11:00pm)
Dead Farm Bill: Everybody drink! (11:00pm)
Dead Farm Bill: I'm hanging in there from the Great Midwest, but I'm tired. (11:01pm)
vj pussycat: we did this song at camp (11:03pm)
Dead Farm Bill: Gobs and gobs of greasy, grimy gopher guts. . . (11:03pm)
vj pussycat: yep, that one too (11:04pm)
Station144: Tell the jumpers to jump, it's a cruel world. (11:06pm)
Dead Farm Bill: http://bit.ly/139Bn9d (11:06pm)
Dead Farm Bill: I know a song that gets on EVERYBODY'S nerves, . . . (11:07pm)
Station144: It's the song that never ends..... (11:07pm)
vj pussycat: thanks for the ear worm dfb (11:08pm)
Dead Farm Bill: snicker (11:08pm)
vj pussycat: do your ears hang low (11:08pm)
Perfect_Timing: Btw, I'm bringing a backup projector to BMN for the next couple Sundays. (11:08pm)
vj pussycat: I wish I had a snickers (11:08pm)
Dead Farm Bill: Joe Francis http://bit.ly/139BNMG (11:13pm)
Perfect_Timing: Can't say I know. Ah, him. (11:13pm)
Dead Farm Bill: E-layer skip (11:21pm)
Dead Farm Bill: Bon soir, mes amis. (11:22pm)
Dr. Penny: Smoking cigarettes on the fire escape naked in madonna t-shirts. (11:35pm)
Perfect_Timing: Speaking of Jim, he messaged me to let me know the projector lamp quit (11:41pm)
Perfect_Timing: Nope. Noone told me. (11:42pm)
Peter Moone: I did not. (11:43pm)
Perfect_Timing: I will bring a loaner.. Lasers.. DOnt get used to the better quality. (11:43pm)
Perfect_Timing: Pico projectors (11:44pm)
Perfect_Timing: There's a laser one, but theres a lot to be worked out on it (11:45pm)
Pico: Avenue. (11:45pm)
Perfect_Timing: And theyre ludicrously expensive. (11:45pm)
Pico: Avenue and Sepulveda (repeat) (11:45pm)
Perfect_Timing: I'm driving Shhhhh (11:46pm)
vj pussycat: my favorite camp movie is bless the beasts and children (11:49pm)
vj pussycat: yes (11:50pm)
vj pussycat: theme song is by who? (11:50pm)
vj pussycat: no my movie (11:53pm)
vj pussycat: i know, i'm asking y'all (11:53pm)
vj pussycat: http://bit.ly/10Xz1Zt (11:53pm)
vj pussycat: i made a kick-ass salad (11:56pm)
vj pussycat: that's what i'm talking about! (11:56pm)
vj pussycat: yes (11:56pm)
vj pussycat: it weighs 7 pounds (11:56pm)
vj pussycat: see picture below (11:56pm)
vj pussycat: blueberries (11:57pm)
vj pussycat: yes avacados (11:58pm)
vj pussycat: please more bless the beasts and the children (11:58pm)
vj pussycat: wait til i finish my salad (12:00am)
vj pussycat: too soon for smores (12:00am)
Dr. Penny: Take the camp to the bottom of the marianas trench with Borgnine! (12:02am)
vj pussycat: good booper imitation (12:05am)
Dr. Penny: Take us down, Dr. Fiasco!!!!!! (12:08am)
vj pussycat: yay!!! thanks krob! (12:08am)
vj pussycat: dr. fiasco doesn't work here anymore (12:09am)
vj pussycat: happy birthday gemini (12:10am)
Dr. Penny: Dr. Fiasco shall always be with us!!!! (12:10am)
Dr. Penny: If you move it in and out long enough, the orifice gets engorged. (12:21am)
I'M : in the building... (12:26am)
I'M : Yws. (12:26am)
I'M : Yes. (12:26am)
I'M : you be scared (12:27am)
vj pussycat: don (12:27am)
I'M : Door open, mouths in silent scream (12:27am)
vj pussycat: don't pick up the phone (12:27am)
I'M : don't go in the basement (12:27am)
I'M : don't go in the bathroom (12:27am)
vj pussycat: don't take your shirt off (12:28am)
I'M : don't go in the base that you gave us (12:28am)
She-nany-gans: leave me out of it. (12:29am)
She-nany-gans: More chat rooms (12:29am)
Dr. Penny: the basement is engorged (12:29am)
Dr. Penny: Take us down, Dr. Fiasco!!!!!! (12:40am)
vj pussycat: and my life too (12:44am)
vj pussycat: my brother went to lake of the ozarks camp (1:00am)
vj pussycat: i had a pop tart at cafe this once (1:18am)
vj pussycat: dr hal said the plural of dwarf is not dwarves (1:21am)
vj pussycat: still says let 'er drift in utah or nevada i think (1:23am)
vj pussycat: that's so 2 minutes ago (1:25am)
vj pussycat: 4 minutes (1:25am)
vj pussycat: Truffaut (1:43am)
Dr. Penny: the particle accelerator launches us into space camp (1:46am)
vj pussycat: Speed round (1:55am)
Dr. Penny: I have launch codes. In putting now. 5, 4, 3, 2.... uh oh. (1:56am)
Dr. Penny: on the balcony with girl navis (2:02am)

The great showman (and so-so filmmaker) William Castle knew that the way to get asses in seats was heavy use of gimmicks, so we're doing the same on tonight's FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, live from The Dark Room (probably)! You'll need to be insured against "death by fright" by Lloyd's of London while you scream in your buzzing seat to defeat the tingler that's loose in THIS VERY THEATER (and watch out for the skeleton Emergo-ing from above your radio) and pray for the Fright Break -- or, at least, for Karen Carpenter, Sherilyn Connelly, and KrOB to get kicked out of The Dark Room. Whichever comes first.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND: It's not a gimmick, it's a feature.

Chatroom History
June 19, 2013 10:00pm - 2:30am

vj pussycat: thanks for djing! have a good trip! konichiwa! (10:04pm)
Turd Polisher: Gee, it's really late. (10:20pm)
Perfect_Timing: Remote test...? Should we all duck and cover? (10:57pm)
Aslan: It's just me listening. (11:02pm)
Perfect_Timing: Speak for yourself... (11:03pm)
Perfect_Timing: That doesn't sound like Jim... (11:04pm)
Perfect_Timing: Damn you, carroway seeds! (11:04pm)
Perfect_Timing: I'm tingling... (11:06pm)
Perfect_Timing: DAMN YOU, RYE BREAD! (11:06pm)
Perfect_Timing: Really...? The computer says "thy will be done"....? (11:09pm)
Perfect_Timing: Busy..? It's one person... (11:11pm)
Perfect_Timing: I say do it.. But for everything else we want to hear from (11:12pm)
Perfect_Timing: The Dark Room. (11:12pm)
Perfect_Timing: I'm waiting on my 1 amp Arcia (11:12pm)
Perfect_Timing: Arctic. (11:12pm)
Perfect_Timing: Would, if I weren't in Oakland. And had to be in Campbell early for work. (11:13pm)
Perfect_Timing: Crappy responsibilities... (11:13pm)
TAFKACB: Whoooo!!!! (11:16pm)
TAFKACB: http://bit.ly/11PkcTK (11:17pm)
Perfect_Timing: Sounds like the Crazy Taxi soundtrack.. (11:21pm)
Perfect_Timing: I think it's it.. Because there's your guitar solo.. Its about an 8 second delay, I think. (11:22pm)