In the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, Karen Carpenter & Dr. Fiasco reach the CORE of the REVOLUTION:

Class Warfare

The Rich vs. The Taxpayers
The Proles vs. The Animal Kingdom
The Brie-Breathers vs. Two Buck Chuck

... or (our personal favorite) The 8th Graders vs. The Kindergartners

Some day you will have to decide which side you are on, or the masses will decide for you. Study up tonight.


NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, Sitting at the back of the classroom since 1958

In the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, Karen Carpenter & Dr. Fiasco delve into the second step of REVOLUTION.

INDIFFERENCE.



On second thought, why bother...

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, It's a Damn Shame since 1955.

The month of June is devoted to THE REVOLUTION!, beginning with our most powerful shared talent: COMPLACENCY. We AMERICANS (and Dr. Fiasco) have girded our loins to do battle with those who stir the pot of shit that is our culture and then ask us to lick the spoon. To them we say "Phooey!".

Just as Gil-Scott Heron did nothing but complain about whitey on the moon, which is of course, our opening theme, tonight, for The FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, Karen Carpenter and Dr. Fiasco will do little to advance "THE REVOLUTION!", but instead mock the so-called activists, revolutionaries, and John Hell, the Perry Como of Radio.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, Radio Valencia's Excuse To Do Nothing.

Dante's Hot Tub, Radio Valencia's Other Problem Child Show, is cancelled tonight so we can bring you an extended LP version of The FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND.

The opening act for NHLG is The Ask Dr Hal Show. It's a bit like the Rolling Stones opening for the Lopez Beatles so we'll just say John Hell, the Dominique Strauss-Kahn of Radio, made us do it.

The opening act for The Ask Dr. Hal Show is Space Science Update, by Pete Goldie. Tune in two hours earlier at 8pm as Dr. Fiasco warms up your ear in preparation for the Live broadcast of the Ask Dr. Hal show.

Also, we have a new Public Service Announcement polluting the airwaves. Listen to it here:

http://drfiasco.files.wordpress.com/2011/05/nhlgbigwednesday2.mp3

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND is now part of ESPN, and sponsored by Rinaldi Sauce, available from your local Safeway.

This week's Big Wednesday Lineup will start with a soundtrack from a Croatian art film about quilts, or Dr. Fiasco playing classical guitar. Aspirin will be available in the lobby.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, Radio Valencia's Nattering Nabobs of Nonsense.

In the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, Karen Carpenter and Dr. Fiasco apply their useless graduate degrees into the burgeoning field of ArcheoEthnoAnthropology of Fictitious Civilizations that Don't Exist and that We Totally Made Up.

Explore ancient civilizations of the future, such as the Goldman Saxons, The Bollynesians and the Passive Agrecians in a setting that makes the History Channel look positively high brow.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, Radio Valencia's Helping Hand In the Downfall of Western Civilization.

Three days late because we forgot... But it's the thought that counts.

Tonight's Final Broadcast of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, was inspired by the endearing maternal attachment we all have for Frank Zappa. Now old timers like your radio hosts remember that "The Mothers" was formed on Mother's Day in 1964, but the original name was one of the world's first MILF references. Inevitably the capitalist pigscum of the record company insisted they change their name to "F#*k My Mom, Hard and Long", but Zappa would have none of that blatant commercialism and so renamed the group "The Mothers of Invention". No inventions of note were ever produced.

So don't freak out, man, because the brain police are going to rip your weasel flesh tonight.

"The Mother of All Mother's Day Shows! " Tonight on Radio Valencia

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, The Best Mother F*&king Show on Radio Valencia! Try it and see!

It took years of intelligence gathering and a feverish manhunt. In the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, Karen Carpenter and Dr. Fiasco are finally able to share details of a highly classified operation that involved the NSA*, the DMV and the AARP, in which...

We finally obtained FRANK CHU's PHONE NUMBER!!!!!

Yes, we are now finally able to call the Perennial Protester and Lexical Troublemaker to find out how the 12 Galaxies are holding up. We may also order some pizza for him and sign him up for a visit by the Jehovah's Witnesses.

Watch in shock and awe as SEAL Team VI, guided by encrypted infra red CHU beacons, descends on John Hell's Imelda-esque lingerie closet!

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, Radio Valencia's Spear Tip in the War on Tourism!

Chances are, your problem is you don't know what your problem is.

Tonight, on the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, Karen Carpenter and Dr. Fiasco will be more than happy to tell you what your problem is. How to deal with it? Now, that's your problem, but you knew that.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, A Drinking Show With A Radio Problem™, and for once we did not malign John Hell, the Bashir Assad of Radio. Oh, wait.

Are you terrified of noises that come from the radio? Does music cause great pain and distress that persists for days? Do you wear earplugs most of the day? Is your fear of sound and music is so severe that the mention of John Hell's "Season in Hell " radio program causes sudden projectile vomiting? Are you ready to try counseling therapy via the telephone once a week?

Radio Valencia's FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND is hear to help! Tonight Karen Carpenter and Sean Kelly will cure you of your pathetic problem (Dr. Fiasco is on assignment) using Sean's "Machine That Make Crazy People" turned up to 11.

It's Not "Music" on NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, It's Medicine !!

Radio Valencia's John Hell has decided to cut 4 trillion listeners from Radio Valencia over the next 12 years, as he laid out an aggressively right wing platform that eliminates staff salaries for all DJs except Karen Carpenter and Dr. Fiasco (regarding the hosts of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, insane Program Director Hell stated, "The service they provide to the station simply cannot be interrupted... it is a matter of national importance").

Republicans cheered John Hell's seemingly bizarre actions, sending a message to all corrupt and mental despots hoping to destroy a radio station's credibility. The few regular listeners remaining are unlikely to be swayed by the new mantra of "balance" and "shared sacrifice", given Hell's intransigence regarding reducing his Maserati health plan and double digit profits he skims off the top.

In a screaming tirade to random passengers on the BART platform, John Hell added, "We vow to improve efficiency, reduce waste, protect the weak and sickly and encourage freedom, all while saving money and raising our Listener Deficit Reduction. Jeebus and My Many Buddhas, someone get me some crack!". Tonight, the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND will play happy music by SLEEPYTIME GORILLA MUSEUM and avoid this disagreeable topic if at all possible.

FYI: NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND has never paid federal taxes.

Following Radio Valencia's Despot John Hell's mandatory literacy training for DJ's, Karen Carpenter, Dr. Fiasco and Special Guest, Robot Stuntman and Discordian Operative FKO review the latest novelties in literature for illiterate people such as The Leftist ESP Conspiracy, Natural Bust Enlargement with Total Mind Power and A Basic Guide to the Occult for Law Enforcement Agencies

Also, in Dr. Fiasco's Literary Saloon (Where We Read The Classics So You Don't Have To™), we reduce the Western Literary Canon to three-line simple sound bytes that can be understood by most people, and even by some Tea Party members.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, Radio Valencia's Drinking Show With a Reading Problem

In the FINAL BROADCAST OF NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND , Karen Carpenter and Dr. Fiasco talk about how hard it is for today's Despot to find a good, obedient populace these days. We will talk about retirement plans and exotic vacation destinations with Mo Gaddafi, the John Hell of Lybia.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, Radio Valencia's No-Listen Zone.

Tonight's NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND FINAL BROADCAST, "Music for the End of the World", was just cancelled due to the disturbing nature of the auditory imagery. We apologize for not submitting our show theme a week in advance, as now required by Radio Valencia Program Manager and Dear Leader John Hell.

The planned show has been replaced with "Happy Music Time starring the Fukushima Singing Firemen".

Karen Carpenter and Dr. Fiasco will take time from panic shopping for canned food, plastic sheeting and iodine pills to present the heartwarming musical story of a nuclear family that faces madcap difficulties during a disaster drill. ("TV Guide synopsis: When Billy-san is late from his surfing lesson, Dad flies into a rage and evacuates the rest of the family to a seaside resort. Oh, the troubles they get into!").

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, Radio Valencia's Unbreachable Containment Vessel.

The FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, that is, if the NSA, the Mossad, and the MI6 don't throw a wrench in the plans of Karen Carpenter and Dr. Fiasco, will focus on revealing insidious conspiracies of hideous proportions and designs.

From an undisclosed location and with the participation of Internationally Renowned Conspiracy Experts PUZZLING EVIDENCE and FRANK CHU, Dr. Fiasco and Karen Carpenter will alert Humanity about shocking facts such as:

John Hell and Monkey from Pirate Cat Radio ARE THE SAME PERSON!!

and

Surfing was introduced to humans through telepathic instructions from an Alien race who are secretly trying to get all humans to live by the sea so they can invade Earth and take over our land resources.

and

Julian Assange made up all of WikiLeaks out of spite because he got second place in the World Hair Bleaching Championships.

We will be also opening our phone lines to our large audience of Cassandras through our triple-encrypted Tor-enabled phone line at:

415-875-9051


NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, Radio Valencia's only show that is holding Chicken John in a secret cell under Ace Junkyard as "insurance" in case something happens to us

Radio Valencia has this thing; it's called the Robo DJ.

The Robo DJ plays music that is carefully selected by the Windows XP Operating System when no annoying humans are around the studio.

And it has happened that a few times, long after Karen Carpenter and Dr. Fiasco were gone from the studio, undiscerning listeners were still calling into the station thinking that our show was still on when in fact it was the Robo DJ doing its thing .

Which is not exactly complimentary.

But we decided to own it. We will create a Robo DJ tribute radio show. Maybe even follow the Robo DJ on tour around the country for a couple of years in a beat-up Yugo that we will learn how to drive by carefully studying the owner's manual and meditating.

Also this week, Karen Carpenter and Dr. Fiasco have the pleasure of broadcasting with KrOB, who not only brings his own music, headphones, microphone, but also his personal germ-free knobs for the mixer board. Wise man.

KrOB is aged in oak barrels and is wonderful for your digestion.
KrOB ingredients are hand-picked by 16 year old Icelandic virgins.

KrOB will deliver soothing sounds guaranteed to cut through layers of ear wax while Karen & Fiasco chat about Radio Valencia program manager John Hell (The Muammar Gaddafi of Radio) , Perfect Leader Kim Jong-Il, and the impending death of Chicken John.

This will be the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND (once the show has concluded).

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, Radio Valencia's Puddle of Consistency amongst a Frothy Sea of Contradictions.

For the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, Karen Carpenter and Dr. Fiasco dive deep into the fascinating world of the mundane, the ho hum, the pedestrian and the humdrum. While politicians debate the growing Attention Deficit, we challenge you to stay awake during this show as Dr. Fiasco's 3rd degree cousin Sandoval Fiasco Lopez Sanchez y Ramirez (pictured here: http://radiovalencia.fm/listener_pics/thumbs/025523134305cb3823bfdbd14f08920d7f935464.jpg ) tells the amazing story of the man who spent a lifetime trying to take the World's Most Uninteresting Picture and the sad tale the Man Who Didn't Know How to Tie His Shoes.

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, Radio Valencia's winner of the 2011 Best Robo DJ Impersonator... hey, what's that thing over there?

No, seriously, this time we're really doing it. In the inky confines of Radio Valencia we have this thing, it's called a RoboDJ. It plays music that is carefully chosen by the Windows XP Operating System. Last week we were doing the show, but unbeknownst to us, we were speaking on the mic but what was coming over the airwaves was Mr. Roboto DJ. In other words, we would insult John Hell, the Hosni Mubarak of Radio like we do every week but what would come out was "Pass the Dutchie" Oh the humanity.

So, for our FINAL BROADCAST, NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND RISES AGAINST THE COMPUTER OVERLORDS

Sponsored by Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Audio (SPCA)

For NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND's FINAL BROADCAST, Dr. Fiasco and Karen Carpenter discuss a topic of extreme importance... overpopulation of "pirate" "radio" "disc" "jockeys". The unplanned release into the wild of DJs from KUSF is just one manifestation of this crisis in broadcasting. Tonight, with the assistance of the San Francisco SPCA, Karen and Dr. will take matters into their own hands and solve the problem in a humane way.

(John Hell volunteered to be first, but in his case, the procedure was not necessary)

With the "musical" stylings of special guest SEAN KELLY and his machine that makes crazy people (not to be confused with the machine who makes people crazy)

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND = no more litter boxes in Radio Valencia's broadcasting booth!

... and the funny thing is that this went on for hours and no one noticed. We only noticed when Jenn called me from home to tell us our show was kinda sounding like the RoboDJ. We ignored it because people have called our show and chatted with us after we were long gone from the studio thinking it was our show when it really was the RoboDJ. Which says something not too complimentary about our show. But anyway, Jenn was tenacious and kept calling until we turned on the stream ourselves and noticed that while we would insult John Hell on air like we do every week what would come out in the stream was "Pass the Dutchy". Oh the humanity.

For NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND's FINAL BROADCAST, Dr. Fiasco and Karen Carpenter discuss Global Warming with a panel of climatologist Marmotae monax.
The assembled rodents of the family of the Sciuridae will search for an answer to the question: Is global warming created by humans? And if so, how much is due to the hot air coming out of John Hell?

Tune in for our show tonight, spoken entirely in Pennsylvania German in the shadowy confines of Radio Valencia's broadcasting booth.


NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND - the NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND of Radio Shows.

GREAT MASTERS OR AMERICAN LITERATURE

"Selected Readings from Seth Maxwell Malice's Facebook Home Page"

...performed by Karen Carpenter and Dr. Fiasco. With commentary by leading ethnologists and criminal psychologists.

We have found it necessary to postpone the show originally scheduled, entitled "Troubled Underage Teenagers in Trouble", for a special reading of remarkable American literature... the Facebook home page of Seth Maxwell Malice. (Because of nature of this body of work, and a conference call from 16 of Mark Zuckerberg's favorite 100 lawyers, listeners tonight will be limited to Seth's "friends". .. so if you have ever described yourself as a "friend" of Seth Malice Maxwell, tune in tonight!)

NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND - Radio Valencia's own Selective Serotonin Re-uptake Inhibitor.